Learning by Teaching a Class on Intergenerational Ethics — Lesson 9
November 1, 2009Daniel No Comments »Today I was the star of the show. Well, kind of 
The topic today was the ethics of romance, and I’m the only Duke male undergraduate in the class.
So the class decided that my views would be representative of the entire Duke male student population. Well… for anyone who knows me, I think you’ll agree that my views on romance and love are probably not typical of a college student
We spent a lot of time today talking about what the romance-scene on college campuses is like. Not surprisingly, the older folks had a hard time understanding the hookup culture that’s so prevalent. (I didn’t know what the hookup culture was all about until I came to Duke, so I added that link just in case you aren’t familiar with it either.)
In the old days, people went on dates, but today there are far more “hookups” which involve physical intimacy without any sort of long-term commitment.
The older folks were rather disgusted with the hookup culture, and they pretty much concluded that– this is my paraphrase, of course– the present generation is going to hell.
When I said that I don’t believe in “hooking up” with girls and I don’t believe in casual dating and I believe in taking a girl out to dinner and in the idea of courtship, two of the older women immediately exclaimed, “Bless your heart, Dan. Bless your heart.”
Bless my heart? Hilarious stuff!
I’ve always thought that girls who participate in the hookup culture do it because they enjoy the physical intimacy and aren’t interested in being in a committed relationship. But after hearing the female Duke students express some views contrary to this, I asked, “Does that mean that girls who engage in the hookup culture aren’t actually willing participants?”
One female Duke student replied, “We’re not willing participants! We would much rather have a dating culture, but boys aren’t interested in dating. So we have no choice.”
That response caught me by surprise! So girls who play the hookup game actually want deep, meaningful relationships, but they have to settle for hookups. So basically they’re trying to have their emotional needs met through physical means… which I don’t think is possible?
Hmm… no wonder the female Duke students were so upset that boys don’t ask them out on dates anymore!
I’ve always felt slightly old-fashioned for thinking that the only proper method of pursuing a relationship is for a guy to court a girl– but I guess that most modern women are still fond of that approach?
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