Average vs. Normal
January 8, 2010Daniel 1 Comment »My older brother, Jonathan, owns a gym and he’s really into health and fitness. He recently did a radio interview where he was asked fitness-related questions. During the interview, he said something which I thought was pretty striking:
“We have confused what is average with what is normal. It is average to be obese, to have a poor diet, to be at risk for cancer, diabetes, and cardiovascular disease. But it is normal to be in good shape, to be lean and strong, and to have a low risk of contracting degenerative diseases.”
We have confused what is average with what is normal.
Jonathan was talking specifically about physical health, but I think this applies in many other areas of life as well.
One of my good friends recently told me that he’s found a magical technique for building rapport and making new friends. “All you have to say is, ‘Oh man, I’m so tired. I really need a nap,’” he explained. “You’ll immediately connect with people, and they’ll always respond, ‘Me too! I’m so tired, I could really use a nap right now.’” And just like that—ta-dah! You’ve established common ground with a stranger.
The most hilarious thing is that my friend sometimes uses this magical friend-making technique even when he’s not tired and does not need a nap. I never imagined that “I really need a nap” could become a kind of figure of speech!
It’s noteworthy that although it’s clearly not desirable to always be tired, we’ve come to accept it as normal, simply because everyone else is always tired. If you’re always upbeat and full of energy, some might even consider you weird!
I believe that we need to raise our standards of what we consider “normal.” When these higher standards are in place, our behavior will undoubtedly change. When you change your thoughts and beliefs, you’ll gradually modify your actions too.
If you’re fully convinced that it is normal to get enough sleep every day, it is normal to have deep and meaningful relationships, and it is normal to be passionate about igniting change in whatever field excites you—regardless of whether or not this is “average”—I’m sure that your life will be more fulfilling and fruitful.
Who doesn’t want to be normal, right?
In our culture of always having a hundred and one things to do but no time to do them, it’s easy to neglect the small things: replying that e-mail you know you ought to, returning that phone call, being punctual—and not five minutes late—for your meetings.
It’s Chicken Soup for the Soul author Jack Canfield who said, “How you do anything is how you do everything.” When we intentionally do the small things well, even if that’s not the “average” thing to do, we will naturally do the big things well too. But we have to first decide that we will not let what is average influence what we consider to be normal.
August 15th, 2010 at 8:48 am
[...] lot of doubt, asked some questions, and given no encouragement. I recognize that this is completely average behavior (but not necessarily “normal”), and I know that I, too, have been guilty of putting down others’ ideas because I was [...]