Last week, I wrote an article for TODAY Newspaper entitled “Success in spite of school, not because of it.”

I received many comments, both online and in person, about my view that if the education system continues the way it is, we are headed down the path of mediocrity. Now is the time to begin paving the way toward excellence and greatness.

The most insightful remark I received came from a good friend of mine who’s a teacher.

She responded to my observation that “schools generally teach students to fear failure, to be obsessively competitive and to be a passive learner.”

She wrote:

… the fear of failure begins in the teacher. That’s the root of the issue in our education system. One of the indicators to measure a teacher’s performance is the student’s results.

More often than not, the teacher is blinded to the student’s fear of failure because it is more daunting to come to terms with the fact that the fear stems from us [teachers].

When we deny our own condition, we fail to see what is happening in the student because it reminds us of who … we really are.

It’s entirely true that what gets measured gets done. But when it comes to measuring our teachers’ performance, are we measuring the right things?

A good friend recently introduced me to Coursera, a site that offers free courses from world-class universities like Stanford and Princeton. He sang high praises of the quality of the courses and of the wonderful community of learners he found at Coursera.

With more and more information available online (plenty of which is provided by experts!), there’s really no excuse for us not to be continually learning.

If we’re genuinely curious and if we’re willing to commit to our own success, we won’t have to look too far in order to find the resources we need.

In today’s Information Age, success is more about will than it is about skill.

Do you agree?

I spoke to an entrepreneur friend of mine recently.

(I asked for her permission before writing this post and she asked to remain anonymous, so I won’t go into too much detail about her business.)

She’s trying to get her product launched soon, but she’s been faced with countless unexpected delays and challenges.

I talked to her when she was feeling exceptionally disappointed and discouraged.

She confessed: “You know, I thought about giving up. I thought that maybe I should just quit. But I realized that I can’t.”

She went on to explain how her product meets a real need and how there’s nothing like it on the market.

Then she surprised me by declaring: “I decided that there’s no way I could fail. I really have no choice but to press on.”

I decided that there’s no way I could fail. I really have no choice but to press on.

Deciding that it’s impossible for you to fail is by far the most crucial decision you could make if you want to find success.

I have complete confidence that my friend is soon going to launch a worldwide bestselling product. When that happens, I’ll say that I called it second.

She called it first by deciding that she simply couldn’t fail.

Who could disagree with this saying?

Those crazy nights that often involve alcohol, friends, loud music and irresponsible behavior—those are the ones that remain permanently etched in your mind.

You’re probably not going to say something like, “For the past month, I’ve slept at least eight hours every single night. It’s been AMAZING!”

Everyone enjoys talking about the wonderful things that have happened in the past and reminiscing about the good old days.

It’s also undeniable that shared memories bond people together. That’s why leaders intentionally create shared experiences in an attempt to foster unity and camaraderie.

Why good memories can be bad

But, at the same time, I think that memories are overrated.

The increased accessibility to innovations like photography has made it possible to conveniently record our memories—maybe too conveniently. It’s not uncommon to see people at any sort of event who are so intent on snapping the perfect picture that they forget to take it all in, to fully experience the sights, sounds and emotions. (I’ll admit that sometimes I’m guilty of this too!)

They’re so caught up trying to capture the moment that they fail to enjoy the moment.

The over-glorification of memories often causes the present moment to be eroded of its rightful significance. After all, the only moment we ever really have is the present one. It’s in the present moment that we experience life and create lasting success.

Moreover, if we focus too much on memories, it’s possible that we can become inward-looking and self-centered.

Making selfish memories?

I have a story that illustrates this.

More than 15 years ago, my Aunt Violet passed away after an agonizing battle with cancer. In the last few months of her life, the cancer reduced her to a walking skeleton and robbed her of some of her mental capacity, too.

It was heartbreaking to watch Aunt Violet degenerate physically.

But it was especially shocking when Aunt Violet’s good friend (I’ll call her Jane) declared that she wasn’t going to visit any more.

The reason? Jane wanted to preserve her memory of Aunt Violet as a strong, healthy and happy person. If Jane had frequently visited Aunt Violet in the hospital, Jane would have remembered her as a frail, emaciated and exhausted person instead.

Is it understandable that Jane made that decision? Sure.

But was it also an inward-looking one that prevented Aunt Violet from saying a proper farewell to her good friend Jane? Without a doubt.

Because our memories only exist inside of our own head—and no one else’s—the desire to make pleasant memories can be an insular one that, at times, has selfish motivations.

Create meaning, not memories

All this talk about the value of memories begs a deeper question: What’s the point of life, anyway?

I don’t claim to know the exact meaning of life, but I do know that life isn’t mainly about accumulating fond memories. If that were the primary purpose of life, that would be far too trivial a reason for our existence.

Life is much more about making a difference in the lives of others, about contributing, about loving people, about being immersed in a story that’s far greater than yourself.

The point of life isn’t to create more and more fantastic, unforgettable and epic memories. Rather, I believe that life is largely about creating meaning.

Amazing memories ought to be the by-product of purposeful living. Memories are little treasures that you pick up along the way, but they aren’t what the journey is about.

In closing, a memorable life isn’t necessarily a meaningful one, but a meaningful life is certainly a memorable one.

So let’s choose meaning over memories. Ironically, that’s the way to create the most beautiful memories of all.

A big thank you to Peter G. James Sinclair for the opportunity to write this guest post for Motivational Memo, entitled 10 Mistakes Made In The Pursuit Of Happiness.

I hope you enjoy the post!

I recently read about a fascinating study in Brian Tracy’s book, Full Engagement!.

An experiment with confusing results

In 1928, a group of researchers conducted an experiment at Hawthorne Works, a manufacturing facility just outside of Chicago.

The researchers wanted to investigate how they could increase the productivity of women whose job was to assemble electric motors.

At the beginning of the experiment, the researchers told the women that they had been specially selected for the experiment because of their excellent work performance.

In the experiment, the researchers changed different factors in the work environment and observed how productivity levels were affected.

Here’s a summary of what happened:

• Light levels were increased; productivity increased.
• Light levels were decreased; productivity increased.
• The temperature was increased; productivity increased.
• The temperature was decreased; productivity increased.
• Noise levels were increased; productivity increased.
• Noise levels were decreased; productivity increased.

You read that correctly. Productivity increased in each different scenario!

The power of feeling special

Completely bewildered, the researchers interviewed the women to try and make sense of the unexpected results.

The women explained: They felt special because they’d been told that they were specifically chosen to be part of the experiment since they were such outstanding workers.

They felt appreciated and valued by the factory’s management. As a result, whenever some factor in their work environment was altered, they were reminded that they were special. Hence, they were motivated to work harder.

Simple things we often forget to say

The takeaway is simple: Appreciate people and they’ll be happier and more productive.

It really doesn’t take much effort to say (or write) these things, whether it’s to your teacher, friend, boss, colleague or someone who reports to you:

• Thank you (not “tks” or “thks”; those communicate politeness without warmth)
• Please (not “pls” or “pse”; same thing as above)
• Good job
• Well done
• I appreciate your work
• I appreciate you
• Your contributions are valuable
• Thanks for your effort
• Thanks for your time

Let’s make this world a happier, and more productive place, to live in—one encouraging phrase and one “special feeling” at a time.

Me, Ron Kaufman, Bharati Jagdish, Kurt Wee and Thomas Fernandez

I was recently a panelist on the talkshow Singapore Talking. The topic of discussion was whether youths today lack drive and ambition. (I hope you enjoy the discussion if you decide to watch the video online. )

The other panelists are very accomplished people: business consultant Ron Kaufman, investment fund manager Kurt Wee and PestBusters founder and CEO Thomas Fernandez.

It was truly an honor to be on the panel with them.

A big thank you to Bharati Jagdish and the entire Singapore Talking team!

Addiction and obsession—those sound like terrible things, don’t they?

Addicted to TV. Addicted to computer games. Addicted to junk food.

Obsessed about money. Obsessed about your appearance. Obsessed about being popular.

But I’ve come to realize that it’s our addictions and obsessions that most determine our legacy. People only remember us for what we were addicted to and obsessed about.

Are you addicted to giving, serving and persevering? Are you obsessed about learning, contributing and growing?

Neither am I—at least, not yet.

Let’s get to work on our addictions and obsessions.

Given that many of us go through 12 years or 16 years—or even longer than that—of formal education, it’s no surprise that most of us have strong feelings about the education system.

I’m no exception. It’s these strong feelings that compelled me to write a book entitled The Happy Student: 5 Steps to Academic Fulfillment and Success, which aims to help students find new meaning and motivation in the pursuit of academic success.

The public education system as a factory

The public education system today, as it exists all over the world, is a relic of the Industrial Revolution of the 18^th and 19^th century.

It was during the Industrial Revolution that many factories were built. Large numbers of factories meant that large numbers of workers were needed.

It was a specific type of worker that was required—one who was obedient, compliant, and who didn’t do too much thinking for him or herself.

In order to efficiently produce workers like this, students were treated like a commodity. Public education was the “factory”; the obedient worker was the “product.”

The “factory” concept of public education is still around today.

Students are brought to the start of the assembly line at age 6 (or even younger), and the “product” is expected to be completed by their late teens or early 20s.

Students are “processed” in batches. Quality control is done in the form of exams and standardized tests.

In addition, the factory largely determines what kinds of products can be manufactured: engineers, doctors, lawyers, economists, teachers, technicians, etc.

No product that’s too weird or out-of-the-ordinary, please!

Education needs a revolution too

The Industrial Revolution was a world-changing phenomenon that made it necessary for public education to be set up as a one-size-fits-all factory.

But times have changed. The Digital Revolution means that gradual, evolutionary changes in education simply won’t cut it.

We need a revolution in education, too.

We need people who are persistent, proactive and passionate—but we’re not going to develop people who possess those traits through our current system.

By and large, people who are persistent, proactive and passionate have become that way despite the “factory” model of education, not because of it. They’ve overcome the odds!

The whole point of this article

I’m no expert on education policy, but I know that things have to change.

The “factory” model was founded on the following principles:

• It’s easy to run
• It’s easy to administer
• It’s easy to quantify results

My whole point is this: Easier isn’t always better. Not when it comes to the education system, and not when it comes to our personal lives.

Let’s choose the better way, regardless of whether or not it’s easier.

Quote I put up at my work desk

Recently, I was looking for something to help me stay motivated, so I decided to put up this quote at my work desk. It’s been more effective than I expected!

Of course, the fact that I put up this quote at all means that I occasionally stop when I’m tired, discouraged or bored.

I sometimes lack the willpower to do what I know I ought to. I don’t always make the best possible decision—and I’m guessing I’m not the only one who struggles in this area.

(As an aside, one of my colleagues commented: “Daniel, that quote isn’t completely true. At least once a day, I see you taking a break to have a snack. Obviously, you also stop when you’re hungry!)

What you desire now vs. what you desire most

It’s human nature to focus on the short-term rather than the long-term, to be attracted to pleasure and to avoid pain. When we make choices based on how we feel, we tend to give in to what we desire now, at the expense of what we desire most.

But we all know that in order to lead fruitful and meaningful lives, we need to consistently make decisions that involve delayed gratification.

This applies in every area of our lives: physical, emotional, mental, spiritual.

How, then, do we consistently make excellent decisions?

The magical question to help you make better choices

I’ve found that just by asking this one question, most decisions become incredibly straightforward:

Will I choose character or compromise?

What this question implies is that every choice you make isn’t one between surfing the Internet and working on that important report; it isn’t one between ice cream and broccoli; it isn’t one between lashing out at someone and controlling your temper.

Instead, every choice you make is really one between character and compromising on your character.

Whenever you make a decision, you’re either becoming a person of greater character, integrity, determination, love, courage, humility, generosity, kindness—or you’re becoming a person who possesses less of these traits.

There’s very little middle ground.

Making a decision isn’t merely about deciding what to do. It’s about deciding who you are, and who you want to become.

After all, your destiny isn’t built in a day. It’s built day by day. We need to continually remind ourselves that a great life consists of many great days and many great decisions. There’s really no chance of us building a lasting legacy without focused, intentional effort.

In closing, asking “Will I choose character or compromise?” won’t necessarily make it easier for you to do the right thing, but it will certainly make it clearer what you ought to do.

I’ll confess that choosing character in every situation is a daily battle for me, but I know that it’s one worth fighting.

As leadership expert John Maxwell said, “Talent is a gift, but character is a choice.”

Let’s choose wisely.