Daniel Wong, Author at Daniel Wong

30 Unimportant Things That Young People Should Stop Worrying About

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 31 Comments

Let’s be honest.

We all spend time thinking about or doing unimportant things.

It can take a lot of time and energy, and it distracts us from the things that do matter.

Children and teenagers are particularly prone to this. I admit that I was definitely like this when I was younger as well!

I’ve spoken to and worked with more than 20,000 students thus far. Based on my experiences and observations, I’ve come up with this list of things that young people need to realise are not important in life.

1. How many friends or followers you have on social media

Many people measure their self-worth by the number of friends or followers they have on social media, but this isn’t important in the long run.

Those followers won’t help you when you have a rough day, and they won’t support you when you’re feeling down.

They’ll just post images to show the best parts of their lives – too much time spent on social media leads to depression for this very reason.

2. How many “likes” you get on social media

The number of “likes” or comments on a social media post can seem important. It can seem like an indication of your popularity.

You get a small dopamine hit every time you get a “thumbs up”, which explains why social media is so addictive.

The thing to remember is that the number of likes you get isn’t nearly as important as the number of true friends you have. Nor is it as important as the relationships you have with your family members.

3. Living in the past

Everyone can get caught up living in the past. Either reliving the good times, or rehashing mistakes you’ve made.

According to research conducted by Matt Killingsworth, we’re happiest when we live in the moment.

So make the decision to be fully present wherever you are.

4. Being constantly connected to the Internet

People experience fatigue, stress and depression because of excessive technology use. It can make it more difficult to get to sleep and can even lead to mental health issues.

It might be challenging, but try to find balance between time spent online and time spent in the real world.

You’re far more likely to be healthy and happy if you engage with other people face to face, as well as lead a balanced life.

5. Comparing yourself with others

This is an easy trap to fall into, but it rarely leads to anything good. When you compare yourself to other people you’re likely to feel inferior.

Instead of comparing yourself with others, focus on ways that you can improve yourself or your situation so you feel more empowered.

6. Being obsessed about having nice “stuff”

It’s easy to think about all your friends who have nicer gadgets and clothes than you.

The best way to deal with this obsession is to think more holistically about the other person’s life.

Consider whether they’re truly happy, or whether they have strong relationships. Often, having nice stuff conceals unhappiness that exists at a deeper level.

7. Being better than other people

We’re always going to be better than some people at some things, and worse than some people at other things.

But life isn’t a race; it’s a journey. Each of us is unique, so we ought to strive to make the most of our gifts and talents.

Life is more about being the best that we can be, and less about being better than others.

8. Holding on to anger and resentment

Malachy McCourt said, “Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” It’s true that anger and resentment slowly destroy your life if you hold on to them.

Instead of holding on to anger, seek healthy outlets to help you deal with it effectively so you can move on with your life.

9. Being fake

It’s easy to put up a front to try to appear more like your friends, or to gain the approval of your peers.

The problem is that you’re trying to be something you’re not. You’re lying to others and yourself and it will become obvious over time.

It’s far better to be honest and authentic, even though this takes courage and will make you feel uncomfortable – at least at the start.

10. Winning every argument you get into

Winning an argument can make it seem like you’re smarter and stronger than the other person.

But the desire to win every argument you get into isn’t healthy in the long term.

So learn other ways of dealing with conflict. Often, it’s a good idea to just walk away from an argument if it gets too heated.

11. The latest celebrity news or gossip

It can seem important to know about the latest celebrity gossip, especially if your friends frequently talk about these issues.

You might feel excluded from conversations if you don’t know what’s going on.

But there are many other productive things you could be doing with your time, e.g. learning a new skill, reading a book, taking an online course.

12. What people think of you (especially people you don’t know)

We all want to be well-liked. Caring about what others think of us is natural, but you must not center your behaviour on others’ opinions.

We must remember that we should always strive to gain approval from a very important person: ourselves. It’s when we’re growing in commitment and courage that we’ll feel proud of who we are.

13. Trying too hard to fit in

Everyone wants to fit in and be accepted.

The best way to become an authentic, likeable person is to relax and just be yourself.

No one can be liked by everyone else all the time, so focus on becoming the best version of yourself.

14. Being unnecessarily busy

Society has come to see busyness as a badge of honour. Busy people appear important and influential, but it’s not healthy to be rushing all the time.

Being busy isn’t about being occupied. It’s about being focused, productive and effective. It’s also about taking time out to relax, because time off makes us more productive.

15. Labelling and categorising others

When we label other people it’s rarely helpful. It’s just another way of criticising other people in the hope that it will make us feel better about ourselves.

Instead, ask yourself why you label others. Is it because you feel insecure in some way?

If you come to terms with the fact that there are different people in the world and that no one is “superior” to anyone else, you’ll feel more confident.

16. Blaming others

Blaming other people is often easier than accepting responsibility for your actions.

Rather than blaming others when a problem arises, adopt a “fix it” mentality and focus on finding solutions.

Life is all about choices and consequences. Focusing on solutions rather than laying blame will make you a happier – and better – person.

17. Worrying about the future

Instead of worrying, concentrate on planning.

Worrying is about imagining bad things that may or may not happen, whereas planning is about focusing on things that are within your control.

When you’re planning, you’re considering ways to make success as likely as possible. This is empowering, which explains why the happiest and most successful people I know are all planners!

18. Focusing too much on achievement

Achievement is important, but it’s more important to focus on contribution instead.

We can gain great satisfaction from helping others and solving problems in the world.

It’s crucial to remember that life isn’t just about achievement. It’s also about slowing down, building meaningful relationships, and making a difference in the lives of others.

19. Envying others

It’s easy to envy other people, but often we only see a small portion of their lives.

You might envy someone who always seems to have the latest accessories and clothes.

But if you find out that they receive these things because their parents fight all the time and give gifts out of guilt, you’ll realise their life isn’t as enviable as you once thought.

20. Having fun all the time

Fun is a vital part of life, but it’s not everything. In order to really value the fun times we need some contrast, too.

We need to experience challenges and frustrations so that we can fully appreciate the good times.

Those times when you have to draw on your courage or follow through on your commitments make the fun times so much more memorable.

We also gain fulfilment from overcoming life’s challenges.

21. Constantly seeking the approval of others

Constantly seeking approval from others isn’t healthy for our self-esteem.

Doing so implies that we’re not good enough, so we have to constantly check that we’re doing okay.

You might try too hard to get others to like you – and they might even get annoyed.

So don’t worry so much about whether other people approve of you. Instead, focus on living according to the right values and principles.

22. Criticising yourself too much

The problem with criticising yourself too much is that other people start to believe your criticism.

It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, which further affects your self-confidence.

If you’re prone to self-criticism, try and catch yourself before you speak those words of criticism and turn the comment around.

Tell yourself – and others – how hard you tried and what steps you’ll take to ensure a better outcome in the future.

23. Being perfect

There’s no such thing as a perfect person – everyone makes mistakes.

Instead of trying to be perfect, focus on developing and improving yourself.

When you continually strive to become a better version of yourself, you’ll gain confidence. That’s the power of focusing on progress, not perfection.

24. Bragging

Giving yourself a little praise for a job well done is fine, but when it turns into full-blown bragging it’s a problem.

People who brag about themselves get a reputation for being all talk, but little substance.

Instead of bragging about how great you are, get out there and do something remarkable.

Taking action and achieving results brings greater satisfaction than telling everyone how good you are.

25. Spending time with toxic people

Spending time with toxic people can make life “interesting” in many ways, but it’s also destructive.

Toxic people damage your self-esteem and distract you from the things that matter in life. So live according to the right principles and stay as far away from toxic people as you can.

26. Having a constant fear of missing out

No one likes missing out. But the fact is that we all have to miss out on things from time to time. There’s no use worrying about missing out.

The best thing you can do is enjoy the times you do spend with your friends, without constantly being anxious about the fun opportunities you might miss out on.

27. Achieving success on someone else’s terms

Success is only sweet when we achieve it on our own terms, and when our success is focused on adding value to others.

It takes courage and commitment to set your own goals, but it’s the only way to find real success.

Other people may criticise you for being foolish, but their negative comments often reflect their own insecurities.

Decide what success means to you at a personal level, and don’t let societal pressure influence you to be somebody you don’t want to be.

28. Getting involved in drama

Instead of getting involved in unnecessary drama, put yourself on a “drama diet” – let other people own their own problems.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t help them out, but don’t allow yourself to get sucked in emotionally.

You’ll find that your life is a lot more peaceful and enjoyable when it’s less “dramatic”.

29. Being happy all the time

Everybody wants to be happy, but it’s impossible to be happy all the time.

At the end of the day, what we really want is to lead a meaningful life.

In order to do this, we may need to go through periods where we make sacrifices or feel temporarily unhappy.

The good news is that this makes the good times even more precious!

30. Appearing smart

If you’re too concerned about looking smart, you won’t take on so many challenges.

You also won’t ask so many questions for fear of appearing dumb.

All of this will affect your own development.

So don’t be afraid to ask questions or take on new challenges, because this is the only way to grow as a person.

What is most important in life?

Understanding at a deep level what’s important in life helps you to be more focused and less anxious about unimportant things.

Knowing what’s important in life helps you to be more focused and less anxious.

You’ll also be able to save your energy for significant matters.

The next time you find yourself being stressed, take a step back and ask yourself these questions:

Is this going to matter in a year?
Will I even remember this in a year?
Will this help me to grow as a person?
Is this in line with my values and long-term goals?

If the answer to these questions is “no”, then chances are it’s not actually important.

Let it go and focus on the things that do matter.

Adopt this approach day by day, and you’ll see huge changes in your life over time!

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10 Common Parenting Mistakes That Demotivate Your Children

Updated on May 22, 2026 By Daniel Wong 36 Comments

Wouldn’t it be great if your children were motivated and independent learners?

That way, you wouldn’t have to nag or scold them to do their homework.

Parents often tell me how frustrated they are that their teens hate school.

They’re also concerned that this lack of motivation will carry over to other areas of life.

The problem is that parents often demotivate their children unintentionally.

Here are 10 of the most common mistakes parents make – so do your best to avoid them in your home.

(Don’t forget to download your free e-book below.)

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Mistake #1: Give your children too many rewards based on achievement or behaviour

This is a trap that many parents fall into, and for good reason. The first time you try it, it seems to work.

You might tell your children that you’ll pay them a dollar each time they get more than 85% for a class test. This seems to work because they start studying harder.

You think to yourself, “Great. Problem solved!”

Then a few weeks later you realise their motivation has waned. They complain that getting a good grade deserves more than one dollar.

An argument breaks out, and you find yourself justifying the price. You even explain that studying hard is their basic responsibility as a student.

If this describes your situation, you’re not alone.

Many studies show that rewards and punishments work in the short term, but not in the long term.

(Read on to find out what other approaches you can try instead.)

Mistake #2: Overemphasise the importance of academics

Parents think that emphasising the importance of academics will motivate their children to work hard.

The problem is that this approach doesn’t turn your children into lifelong learners.

Learning isn’t just about getting good grades. It’s also about enjoying the process.

When children enjoy learning, they become motivated to keep on learning.

Grades can affect your job prospects, but many great leaders weren’t great students. Unfortunately, many of the students I’ve worked with tell me that their parents seem to think that grades are the only thing that matters.

We now know that there are many different types of intelligence and that the education system only measures some of these.

All parents would agree that social skills, character development, and learning to relax and reflect are also important areas of focus.

When parents dismiss their children’s hobbies and games as a waste of time, they hurt their children’s feelings and damage the parent-child relationship.

Parents must value and respect their children’s activities. Dance and sport can improve kinaesthetic intelligence, and games and discussions can boost intrapersonal intelligence.

These are vital skills for children to learn and carry with them through life.

Mistake #3: Supervise your children too closely

Micromanaging your children produces similar results to micromanaging employees.

It builds resentment, damages relationships, and robs children of valuable learning experiences.

When children have the opportunity to plan their own work and take responsibility for their actions, they become more mature and wise.

They also develop independence and organisational skills that will benefit them in school and beyond.

Children who take responsibility for their actions come to understand that they have control over their life. They learn that they have the ability to create their own success in school and beyond.

Let your children know you’re there for them if they need support. But make it clear that they shouldn’t look to you for all the answers.

If they need help, provide strategies they can use to find the answers themselves.

Parents who think of themselves as facilitators rather than supervisors foster self-sufficiency in their children.

Mistake #4: Fail to create a family culture of learning

You’ve probably noticed that children copy what their parents do, more so than what their parents say.

Children are observational learners, so family culture has a big influence on your children’s mindset.

When it comes to your children’s learning, one of the most effective things you can do is to create a family culture of learning.

If your children see that you enjoy acquiring new skills and knowledge, they’re more likely to enjoy learning too.

Show your children how fun it is to be a lifelong learner, so they’ll see the value of education beyond grades.

Mistake #5: Allow power struggles to develop

It’s common for power struggles to develop at home.

They often happen over homework or what time the children wake up for school.

If this is happening in your family, take a step back and analyse the situation.

Often, the root of the problem is related to the parent-child relationship.

After all, you know that the more you nag, the less it will help the situation.

The better approach is to focus on rebuilding the relationship and your child’s sense of self-worth.

A strong parent-child relationship brings many advantages. In fact, Shawn Anchor, author of The Happiness Advantage, has found that the brain functions more optimally when you’re feeling positive.

Mistake #6: Set rules without first discussing them with your children

No one likes to feel powerless or as though they have little control over their lives.

Think about how you’d feel if you were told what to wear, how much TV you could watch, and when you could use your phone.

It’s reasonable to have rules at home, but I recommend that you first discuss them with your children.

Workplaces that introduce strict rules without consulting their staff often find that their staff have started to rebel.

You can avoid a mutiny at home by bringing up the matter with your children before laying down the law.

Whenever possible, have a brainstorming session where you share your concerns with your children.

Your children may even propose better guidelines than you could have thought of, so be sure to listen to their opinions.

Taking this approach will mean less frustration for everyone involved.

In addition, your children will be more likely to adhere to the rules in the long run too.

Mistake #7: Overemphasise the importance of achievement instead of contribution

Schools tend to emphasise the importance of academic results. This is a practical aspect of the education system, but grades aren’t everything.

Good grades aren’t even an accurate predictor of success. The best predictor of success isn’t good grades or a high IQ, but rather emotional intelligence.

Parents must emphasise to their children that life is about much more than grades or accomplishments.

It’s about acquiring skills and knowledge so that they can make a difference in the world.

Children can start to develop this mindset by doing something like volunteering to tutor younger students. This type of experience will show them that their knowledge can be used to help others.

As a result, these children will begin to have a greater sense of purpose. They’ll begin to look beyond themselves and be less inclined to obsess over their achievements.

Mistake #8: Talk as if your children are never putting in enough effort

Some parents continually tell their children that they should focus better, work harder, apply more proven study tips, and spend less time online.

These parents have good intentions, but their actions cause their children to feel as if there’s no point in giving their best effort.

The children may even feel as though they’ll never be good enough to meet their parents’ expectations.

People who believe they’re incompetent become incompetent. As Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.”

Telling your children that they’re not putting in enough effort reduces their motivation.

What’s the alternative?

Try some inspiration and positivity instead.

Remind them of when their efforts paid off and help them to reflect on their behaviour in a non-judgmental way.

It’s important to foster a strong sense of self-worth in your children so they know they have the ability to succeed if they try hard.

Mistake #9: Fail to acknowledge your children’s progress and good behaviour

Your children care about what you think, whether they show it or not.

When you acknowledge your children’s efforts and progress, they’ll feel more motivated.

Telling them that you appreciate that they fed the dog without being asked, or that they made their own lunch for school, encourages them to repeat the behaviour.

Even if they didn’t quite achieve what they set out to, focus on the progress they made.

Let them know that you see an improvement in their handwriting from all their practice, or that you’re proud of them for submitting their homework on time.

Avoid focusing on their abilities and intelligence. Instead, emphasise things related to their attitude and effort. This will lead to more sustained motivation down the road.

Mistake #10: Focus on your children’s behaviour without getting to the root of the problem

Parents often focus on their children’s bad habits or behaviour without digging deeper.

When children aren’t working hard enough or are behaving poorly, there are usually other factors at play.

Children who feel discouraged, overwhelmed, or worthless usually feel that they don’t deserve to be treated kindly.

They go out of their way to behave badly because they feel terrible about themselves.

This cycle is like a form of self-harm. It’s like the child is saying, “I don’t deserve to be loved, so I’ll behave badly. That way I’ll get what I deserve.”

Focusing on the behaviour doesn’t help; the underlying issue must be addressed.

Show your children that you’re always ready to listen. When they eventually share their struggles, you’ll be able to get to the heart of the issue and solve the problem.

Conclusion

We parent our children while we’re rushing out the door in the morning, or trying to get everyone fed.

As such, it’s easy to make the sorts of mistakes that demotivate our children.

Instead of feeling guilty, take action. Review the list of mistakes in this article once more, and identify the ones you’ve been making.

Take a few minutes to create an action plan.

How can you start motivating your children?

What steps can you take to inspire them to be their best?

How can you demonstrate the behaviours that you want to see in your children?

As you implement your plan, you’ll see improvements in your parent-child relationship and in your children’s behaviour too.

It’ll take work on your part, but it’ll be worth it!

(If you haven’t already done so, make sure to download your free e-book below.)

FREE E-BOOK:

Get your FREE copy of

16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.

The e-book has already been downloaded by many thousands of parents, so don't miss out!

How to Raise a Confident Child: 15 Tips for Parents

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 18 Comments

If you’re wondering how to raise a confident child, you’re not alone.

Parents often tell me they’re concerned about their children’s lack of confidence and how it will affect their future.

I know it’s painful to see your children struggling with self-esteem. They may shy away from challenges, dislike studying, or lack the courage to try new things.

You just want your children to be happy and successful — to chase their dreams and live meaningful, fulfilled lives.

So, you want to raise a confident child, but where do you start?

Remember this…

Confidence is a skill. Like any skill, there are specific steps your child can take to build confidence.

Plus, there are ways that you, as a parent, can help.

In this article, I’ll walk you through 15 ways to help your child develop confidence. If you apply the tips, you’ll start to see your child’s self-assurance grow.

Let’s get started!

(Don’t forget to download your free e-book below.)