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The Complete List of 23 Best Memory Techniques for Studying

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 86 Comments

Best memory techniques for students

To do well in school, you need to know how to use your memory well.

Top students use a variety of memory techniques and tools to memorise information and recall it quickly during exams.

Of course, memory isn’t a substitute for understanding.

You’ll need to understand the topics you’re studying, if not you won’t be able to perform well.

But there are many techniques that will help you to memorise more of what you study.

Here are 23 of the best memory techniques for students.

(Download the free PDF below to learn 3 bonus techniques.)

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Memory techniques for studying

As you prepare for your next exam, try out a few of the following memory techniques for students.

I’m confident that you’ll find them useful!

1. Use images

The human brain processes images faster than words.

In fact, 90% of the information that our brains process is visual. We also process visual information 60,000 times faster than words.

So it’s no surprise that we remember images better than words.

That’s why turning words or equations into images is an effective memorisation technique.

Take a fact that you want to remember and convert it into an image. But not just any image – try to make the image funny or exaggerated.

The more ridiculous the image, the easier it will be to remember.

For example, to remember that cations are positively charged ions and anions are negatively charged ions, you could…

  • Imagine a cat, and think about the fact that cats have paws. “Paws” reminds you of “positive”, so cations are positively charged.
  • “Anion” kind of sounds like “onion”, and onions can make you cry. Crying is generally considered to be a negative event, so anions are negatively charged.

Here’s another example.

Let’s say that you want to remember that Neil Armstrong was the first human to step on the moon.

You could imagine a man walking on the moon with a nail (“nail” sounds like “Neil”) in his muscular arm (to remind you of the word “Armstrong”).

Images are powerful as a memory technique, because they’ll enable you to retain more information while spending less time studying overall.

2. “Match” information with sounds or letters

Sounds or letters

Sometimes words sound the same or have similar spelling.

And some words are just difficult to spell.

For example, here’s how you can use sounds or letters to remember these facts:

  • “Grey” is used in England, whereas “gray” is used in America
  • “Necessary” has one “c” and two “s’s”, just as a shirt has one collar and two sleeves
  • Stalagmites (a type of rock formation) grow from the ground, while stalactites grow from the ceiling

3. Use acronyms and mnemonics

Acronyms and mnemonics are also useful memory techniques for students.

An acronym is an abbreviation formed from the first letter of a series of words.

For example, PEMDAS is an acronym for remembering the order of operations in math:

  • Parenthesis
  • Exponents
  • Multiplication
  • Division
  • Addition
  • Subtraction

A mnemonic is a short phrase used to remember a rule or a principle, such as “i” before “e” except after “c”.

This mnemonic reminds students that the letter “i” usually comes before “e” when spelling various words – as in “lie,” “belief” and “pie”.

The exception is when “i” comes after “c” – as in “receive” and “ceiling”.

Here’s another example.

My Very Excited Mother Just Served Us Noodles is a mnemonic you can use to remember the order of the eight planets in our solar system:

  • Mercury
  • Venus
  • Earth
  • Mars
  • Jupiter
  • Saturn
  • Uranus
  • Neptune

In addition, “May I have a pillow?” is a mnemonic you can use to memorise the value of pi: 3.1416 (“may” has 3 letters, “I” has 1 letter, and so on).

It also helps that the first two letters of “pillow” form the word “pi”.

4. Create a story

StoryAnother effective memory technique is to build a story around the facts that you’re trying to memorise.

Let’s say that you’re trying to learn the formula for gravitational potential energy (P.E. = mgh).

You could make up a story where you’re having a PE (physical education) class, when suddenly you see your mother (m), grandmother (g) and a horse (h) standing together.

Or maybe you’re trying to memorise the formula E = mc2 .

You could imagine an elephant (E) walking towards a monkey (m) that’s holding a square-shaped cracker (c2).

5. Connect the information to something that you already know well

Research shows that it’s easier to learn something new if you can link it to something you already understand.

For instance, if you’re learning about electricity, you could compare electricity to water using this analogy:

  • Charge = water in a water tank
  • Current = flow of water
  • Voltage = water pressure

This isn’t a perfect analogy, but it will help you to learn concepts related to electricity faster.

Here’s one more example.

Let’s say that you’re learning about Ancient Rome, and you already know a lot about Ancient Greece. You could connect the two areas of knowledge by noting that:

  • Both the Greeks and Romans relied on agriculture as an important part of their economies.
  • The Greeks were eventually governed through democracy, while the Romans were governed through a mixture of democracy, monarchy and oligarchy.
  • The Greeks colonised, while the Romans conquered.
  • The Greeks spoke Greek, while the Romans spoke Latin.

By forming these connections, you’ll retain more of the information you learn about Ancient Rome.

6. Study in different locations

Study in different locations

Many people will tell you to do all of your studying in one place.

The idea is that this will enable you to study more effectively, because you associate learning with that one place.

But research shows that this isn’t always the case.

In a classic experiment, psychologists gave college students a list of 40 words to memorise.

The students memorised the list in two different rooms. One room was windowless and cluttered, while the other room was modern and had a nice view.

These students did far better when they were tested, as compared to other students who studied the same list of words twice, in the same room.

These results have also been observed in other similar experiments.

So why would it aid in memorisation to study the same material in different locations?

Studying the same material in different settings forces the brain to make multiple associations with the material. In other words, the different settings create more “mental scaffolding” that you can “hang” the new material on.

To take advantage of this effect, try changing your studying environment. Do some of your studying at home, some in school, and some at the library.

But remember that for this technique to work, you need to be studying the same material in different locations.

7. Go to sleep after learning something challenging

You probably know that not getting enough sleep will negatively affect your memory. If you’re wondering what things top students do differently, getting enough sleep is certainly one of them.

But did you know that going to sleep shortly after a study session will improve your recall of the material you just studied?

Research shows that students who went to sleep within a few hours of a learning session were better able to remember what they just learned.

So if you need to learn something that’s especially challenging, do it a few hours before you go to sleep.

8. Go for a walk before trying to memorise information

Walk

Exercise is good for both your body and your brain.

In a study conducted by James T. Haynes IV, participants who walked on a treadmill for 15 minutes before the learning period were better able to remember two lists of 15 words.

To take advantage of this memory technique, go for a short walk before listening to a recording of a lecture, studying flashcards, or memorising definitions or equations.

9. Say the information out loud

This technique is based on research conducted at the University of Waterloo.

The research shows that we are more likely to remember information that we have read aloud to ourselves, compared to information that we have only read silently.

This phenomenon is based on what researchers call the “production effect”.

The explanation for this effect is that words read aloud are more distinctive to our brain than words uttered silently. This distinctiveness aids the process of encoding the information in our memory.

So when you want to memorise a certain piece of information, read it out loud.

10. Understand the information fully before you try to memorise it

One common mistake students make is trying to memorise information without understanding it.

This type of rote learning doesn’t work.

It’s difficult to memorise content when you use rote learning. This is because when you don’t understand a topic, you won’t have any mental “pegs” on which to hang the new information.

This goes back to the idea of “mental scaffolding”, a concept that I mentioned earlier.

Let’s look at an example.

The trigger for World War One was the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand by a 19-year old named Gavrilo Princip.

You could try to memorise this fact on its own, but it would be hard to do so.

Imagine if you also learned these related facts:

  • Archduke Franz Ferdinand was assassinated in Sarajevo, the capital of Bosnia
  • Bosnia was a part of the Austro-Hungarian empire
  • Serbia wanted to take control of Bosnia
  • Gavrilo Princip was a Serbian nationalist
  • Austria invaded Serbia because it felt threatened by Serbian nationalism
  • Serbia had a treaty with Russia
  • Austria had a treaty with Germany
  • Russia mobilised its forces to support Serbia, and Germany mobilised its forces to support Austria

These additional facts put the original fact in context. As such, it gives you “pegs” on which to hang the original fact.

Here’s another example.

Let’s say you want to learn Pythagoras’ theorem: in a right-angled triangle, the square of the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the squares of the other two sides.

If that’s all you learn, it will be difficult to memorise the theorem.

But what if you also learn that – using this theorem – you can find the length of the third side of any right-angled triangle, if you know the lengths of the other two sides?

You’ll then understand why the theorem is useful, which means you’ll find it easier to memorise.

11. Teach other people about what you’ve learned

Teach

Research shows that when people learn material and then teach it to others, their comprehension increases significantly.

So an effective memory technique is to teach others about what you’re learning.

Doing so will increase your comprehension and retention of the material.

Plus, it’s always good to help others and teach them the material if they don’t understand it!

You’ll start to realise that knowledge is meant to be shared and not hoarded, which will increase your motivation to study.

12. Use colours

Colours capture our attention. What’s more, they work as a kind of mental shorthand.

Colours give context to the material you’re studying, and help you to process it more efficiently.

As mentioned earlier, the brain processes visual input – such as colours – 60,000 times faster than text.

This means that when you colour-code information, it allows your brain to pre-process the information before you actually study it.

Here are some tips for using colours to help you to learn better:

  • Colour-code after you’ve taken notes, not while you’re taking notes. (This is because colour-coding while taking notes will interrupt the flow of your study session, and you may also end up overdoing it.)
  • Use highlighters, multi-coloured pens and multi-coloured sticky notes.

Use a consistent colour code across all your subjects and topics.

For example, you might decide to use a system like this:

  • Blue = key fact
  • Green = key explanation
  • Red = key example

Or you might use colour codes for sub-topics like this:

  • Blue = main causes of World War 2
  • Green = main events of World War 2
  • Yellow = main consequences of World War 2

A word of caution: When using colours as a study aid, don’t go overboard. If too much of your study material is coloured or highlighted, you’ll become confused.

13. Write out the information you want to memorise

Write out information

Studies have shown that within two days of hearing or reading new information, we forget 60% of it.

But if we write out the information, our recall increases significantly.

The act of doing this forces us to evaluate and categorise the new information. This process helps to consolidate the new information in our memory.

Of course, it isn’t possible to write out all the information contained in your textbooks – that would take way too much time.

So write out only the key information, equations, definitions, etc. that you need to memorise.

14. Draw tables and diagrams

Many of the memory techniques for students discussed in this article help to create more “mental scaffolding”. This enables you to store new information in your brain more easily.

Another way to add more mental scaffolding is to present the new information in the form of tables, diagrams, and mind maps.

For example, you could draw a simple diagram to explain the carbon cycle.

Or you could draw a Venn diagram to compare the characteristics of birds and bats.

Or you could draw a mind map to illustrate the causes of the Second World War.

By using tables, diagrams, and mind maps, you’ll remember the concepts faster as compared to if you just tried to memorise chunks of text.

15. Whenever possible, use hard-to-read fonts

Fonts

Princeton University and Indiana University researchers discovered an interesting effect. Test subjects had better recall when the information was presented to them in hard-to-read fonts.

One explanation for this is that hard-to-read fonts (like Comic Sans MS) make us think about what we’re reading more deeply. This is in comparison to easy-to-read fonts (like Arial).

But the researchers noted that there are limits to this effect.

As fonts become exceedingly difficult to read, the benefits for information recall begin to diminish.

16. Memorise lists with the rhyming peg-word system

You can use this technique to memorise a list of items.

In the rhyming peg-word system, each number is linked to a noun that rhymes with it.

For example:

  1. = Bun
  2. = Shoe
  3. = Tree
  4. = Door
  5. = Hive
  6. = Sticks
  7. = Heaven
  8. = Gate
  9. = Wine
  10. = Pen

Once you’ve memorised these associations, you can then link the noun to an item in a list that you want to memorise.

For example, let’s say that you want to memorise three elements in the periodic table: hydrogen, oxygen and carbon.

Create an image in your mind that links each of the items with the noun from the list above:

  1. Hydrogen: Imagine a bun tied to a balloon that’s filled with hydrogen.
  2. Oxygen: Imagine an oxygen tank falling on someone’s shoe.
  3. Carbon: Imagine a tree soaking up carbon from the ground and the air.

17. Apply the method of loci (memory palace)

Legend has it that the Greek poet Simonides invented the method of loci, also known as the “memory palace”.

Simonides was attending a dinner banquet when the building suddenly collapsed. He was the only survivor.

The bodies were crushed beyond recognition. But Simonides was able to identify the bodies by remembering where each person had been sitting.

He later realised that this technique – of associating information with places (or loci) – could be used to memorise all kinds of information.

Here’s how to use the technique.

Let’s say you have a list of 10 grocery items that you want to memorise:

  • Bananas
  • Milk
  • Cooking oil
  • Fish
  • Broccoli
  • Peanuts
  • Apples
  • Curry powder
  • Eggs
  • Coffee beans

Visualise yourself opening the front door of your house and realising that the doorknob is actually a banana.

Then imagine that as you open the door, a flood of milk comes pouring out of the house.

You walk down the hall into the kitchen and find that the kitchen table is covered in cooking oil.

Then you see a large fish in the kitchen sink.

Next, you look out the window and see broccoli growing in your garden.

And so on.

You can use the method of loci to remember items, points that you want to cover in a presentation, or tasks that you need to complete.

18. Practise active recall

Active recall

Active recall is a memory technique that takes advantage of what is known as the “testing effect”.

This is the tendency for your memory to improve when you devote some of your learning to retrieving the information in an active way.

Active recall is vastly different from passive recall.

In passive recall, you learn the material in a passive way, e.g. reading notes, listening to an audio recording of a lecture, watching a video about a science concept.

In contrast, in active recall you practise retrieving the information.

You can do this by answering questions about the material or taking quizzes and tests. You can also try the Feynman technique.

Passive recall is a necessary part of learning, but I recommend that the majority of your learning consist of active recall.

19. Make flashcards

Flashcards are a popular study tool.

If you’re already using flashcards, are you using them in the right way?

Here’s a technique for getting the most out of flashcards.

  1. On the front of the card, write the term, concept, word or name of the equation that you want to learn.
  2. On the back of the card, at the top left corner, write the explanation, definition or full equation. As far as possible, use your own words.
  3. At the top right corner, write the category or topic that the term belongs to. If it’s a vocabulary word, you could write the type of word it is, e.g. noun, verb, adjective. If it’s a concept or an event in history, write the topic or upper-level category that it belongs to.
  4. At the bottom left corner, write a sentence or example that contains the term.
  5. At the bottom right corner, draw a picture, diagram or graph that represents the term.

Not all the steps listed above will be applicable in every single situation.

But it’s a good practice to apply as many of the steps as you can, because this will aid your learning.

Here’s an example.

Let’s say that you want to learn about π, the mathematical constant.

  1. On the front of the card, write “π”.
  2. On the back of the card, at the top left corner, write “π = 3.1416″.
  3. At the top right corner, write “mathematical constant”.
  4. At the bottom left corner, write “circumference of a circle = 2πr = πd”.
  5. At the bottom right corner, draw a diagram of a circle and indicate the radius, diameter and circumference of the circle.

When you’re studying, keep a stack of blank flashcards next to you.

Every time you come across a term or concept that you want to memorise, write it down on the front of the flashcard.

Later, when you’re done reading the set of notes, take each of these flashcards and complete the steps outlined above (i.e. steps 2 to 5).

Study your flashcards at regular intervals. Read what’s written on the front of the flashcard, and then see if you can recall what’s written on the back of the flashcard.

By doing this, you’d be applying the principle of active recall, which we discussed in the previous tip.

20. Use chunking to make the information more memorable

Chunking is a memory technique where you break down a topic into sub-topics, or a list of items into smaller groups of items.

Chunking makes the information easier to memorise.

Here’s a simple example.

Let’s say you have a shopping list that contains the following items:

  • Corn
  • Broccoli
  • Cooking oil
  • Cucumber
  • Ketchup
  • Watermelon
  • Flour
  • Rice
  • Coconut milk

You could chunk this list down into four sub-lists based on colour:

Yellow items

  • Corn
  • Cooking oil

Red items

  • Red capsicum
  • Ketchup

White items

  • Flour
  • Rice
  • Coconut milk

Green items

  • Cucumber
  • Broccoli

It will be much easier for you to remember the items on your shopping list because they’re organised according to colour.

Here’s an example that’s more applicable to students.

You might be trying to memorise the names of the presidents of the United States.

You could chunk the list down by dividing it into five sub-lists, comprising presidents from different periods of US history:

  • American Revolution to the end of the Civil War
  • End of the Civil War to the start of WWI
  • Start of WWI to the end of WWII
  • Cold War era
  • Post-Cold War era

In these two examples, the principle is the same. You make the information easier to memorise by categorising it into different groups.

This approach provides the neural scaffolding that will enable you to recall the information later on.

21. Use as many of your senses as possible

5 senses

Have you ever encountered a smell or heard a song that took you back a couple of years to another place?

If so, you’ll understand that your senses play a key role in how we encode memories.

The idea that sensory stimuli like touch, sight, and sound can aid in learning is the basis of the renowned Montessori Method.

The more senses you engage in the learning process, the better you’ll remember the information.

For example, you could use pictures and graphics to summarise key concepts.

You could also play calming classical music during your study sessions, because this has been shown to improve learning.

In addition, you could try out various forms of hands-on learning – such as building models – to enhance your memory too.

22. Review the information using spaced repetition

In the spaced repetition system, students review the same information at increasing intervals over time.

Studies have shown that spaced repetition causes more information to be encoded into long-term memory, as compared to “cramming”.

To implement this tip, try studying the same material over short sessions, separated by intervals that get longer over time.

For example, you could do the first review within a day of learning the new information, then the next review could be three days later, then one week later, then three weeks later, etc.

This might sound tedious, but it will save you many, many hours in the long run!

23. “Mix up” topics through interleaving

Interleaving

Interleaving is a technique that involves learning different related skills or types of knowledge over the course of an hour or longer.

The opposite of interleaving is called “blocking”.

This is where students master one skill or area of knowledge before progressing to the next.

For example, someone who is learning how to play basketball using the blocking approach might focus only on dribbling.

Only after he has mastered dribbling will he move on to learn how to perform a chest pass. And only after he has mastered the chest pass will he move on to learn how to perform a bounce pass.

In blocking, you’d learn Skill A before Skill B, and Skill B before Skill C.

But in interleaving, you’d learn different skills or types of knowledge concurrently – or almost concurrently.

For example, in interleaving, the same basketball player might perform 15 minutes of dribbling drills, followed by 15 minutes of chest pass drills, followed by 15 minutes of bounce pass drills.

This cycle might be repeated 2 to 3 times over the course of a training session.

For many years, educators believed that blocking was the best way to study. But recent research has shown that interleaving produces far better outcomes.

In one study, interleaving resulted in a 25% to 76% improvement in learning.

To take advantage of this memorisation technique, try to mix up your study topics within a given subject over the course of a study session.

For example, if you’re learning geometry, don’t just practise questions related to circle geometry. Do some questions on circles, then some questions on triangles, then some questions on quadrilaterals.

By doing a mixture of somewhat related questions, your overall understanding and recall will improve.

Which memory techniques will you try first?

I know… in this article I’ve discussed a lot of memory techniques for students to use.

There are definitely too many for you to use all of them at once!

I encourage you to go through the list once more and pick out 2 to 3 techniques that you feel would be most beneficial for you.

Once you’ve used those 2 to 3 techniques consistently for several weeks, go back to the list and choose another 2 to 3 to put into practice.

Over time, I’m confident that you’ll see a huge improvement in your ability to recall information – and I’m sure you’ll start to get better grades too!

(Try some of these test-taking strategies to help you maintain your composure during exams.)

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Filed Under: Children, Education, Learning, Success, Teens

6 Proven Ways to Make Your Teenager More Responsible

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 6 Comments

Make teen more responsible

Note from Daniel: This is a guest post by Alyssa Abel.

All parents want their teens to develop into sensible and responsible adults.

That’s obvious, right?

But while parents want their teens to complete their schoolwork and do their chores, it’s up to them what choices they make.

As teenagers, it’s time they make more of their own decisions, but you can still guide them down the right path.

In this article, we’ll discuss 6 ways to make your teenager more responsible.

(Don’t forget to download your free e-book below.)

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Your teenager will never be perfect

First, it’s important to remember that your teenager will never be perfect.

Your teenager won’t always be the perfect example of a focused, kind and diligent person.

On occasion, they’ll choose to hang out with their friends instead of doing their homework. Or they might forget to follow through on their commitments.

But it’s a journey.

The teen years are a trying time. Your teen may look and act more like an adult than ever before, but they aren’t fully developed yet.

This means that their reasoning and decision-making skills are not entirely formed. As such, they won’t always make the choices that you think they should.

You don’t have to be a perfect parent either. You just need to do your best and improve your parenting skills.

Once you banish the idea of perfection, teaching accountability and responsibility becomes simpler.

Are you ready to dive in?

Let’s learn about the 6 approaches to turn your child into a responsible teen.

1. Develop clear expectations collaboratively

Clear expectations

Through the course of our lives, we must meet certain expectations.

If you don’t fulfil your responsibilities in school, you won’t be able to get into the school or profession you want.

If you keep missing deadlines at work, you’ll soon find yourself without a job.

This idea applies to relationships and other aspects of life too.

That’s why it’s essential to ensure that your teenager understands what the expectations are.

What must they do? What specific behaviours should they avoid? What consequences will result if they behave irresponsibly?

Think about what you want from your child. He won’t get everything right the first time, so start small.

A good way to approach expectations is to set rules and boundaries together with your teenager.

Example

Let’s say that you’d like your teen to wash the dishes on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

After having a discussion with him about this, you could create a list that details your expectations. You could request that he ticks a box whenever he completes the task.

To make it feel like a team effort, you can create a list for the chores you have to do too – you can also tick the right box when you complete the chore.

And when your teen follows through, show genuine appreciation. You could simply say to him: “Thank you for washing the dishes. I appreciate it.”

What happens when your teen doesn’t follow through on multiple occasions?

Well, it’s time to have a conversation.

Don’t be accusatory or judgmental. Instead, ask him about what happened.

You could say, “I noticed that you didn’t do the dishes on Thursday. What happened?”

Sometimes, there’s a deeper issue you’ll need to help your teen address.

For example, maybe he was overwhelmed with homework that evening. He was in a rush to get his work done and forgot to wash the dishes.

Is he struggling in school? Does he need to improve his planning skills?

In some cases, you may need to implement a system of consequences. But most of the time, if you get to the root issue, this won’t be necessary.

2. Teach your teen time management skills

Time management

Time management plays a significant role in responsible behaviour.

If you’re unreliable, others won’t be able to trust that you’ll deliver – in school, work or relationships.

Teens who budget their time well will make better decisions. They’ll also be less stressed and anxious.

It’s essential to teach your teenager about time management. (By this, I do not mean that you should continually nag her to manage her time better!)

Like many other life lessons, this one starts with you.

If you’re frequently late or disorganised, your teen will follow in your footsteps. So make your calendar and reminder apps your best friends!

Example

Teenagers have many commitments, from extra classes to extracurricular activities.

But homework remains one of the most substantial tasks they have to complete, so it’s a good place to start.

If your teen lacks organisational skills, schedule a time with her to have a planning session.

During this session, work out a rough weekly schedule by taking into account her regular commitments.

Ensure that she’s involved in the planning process, and that it isn’t just you trying to force her to agree on a schedule you’ve drawn up.

For example, if your teen gets home from school at around 4 p.m. each day, agree on a time when she will start doing her homework (maybe 5:30 p.m. or 6 p.m.).

Each weekend, you can try to organise a family session where everyone reviews their own events coming up over the next 1 to 2 weeks and plans for what tasks they need to complete.

You can do this individually or as a family, depending on what works for you.

(You can even find a coach to work with your teen. Educational coaching teaches, among many other things, organisational and time management skills.)

Help your teen to estimate the amount of time they’ll need to accomplish each task.

People (adults included!) are notoriously bad at estimating how long tasks will take, so make sure there’s plenty of buffer.

Talk to your teen about how to harness her most productive times.

Most teens need at least 30 to 60 minutes to unwind after getting home from school. Beyond that, does your teen hit her peak early in the evening?

Or maybe she would do better if she goes to bed early and wakes up early to complete some tasks?

Try your best not to nag your teenager to do her homework, as you want her to build time management skills on her own.

Of course, if she starts to fall away from the schedule she has agreed upon, you’ll need to sit down with her to review the situation.

Instead of saying, “Why aren’t you getting your schoolwork done on time?” ask for her input.

Has she not been sleeping well, which has affected her concentration? Or did she prioritise her tasks poorly?

Turn the discussion into a problem-solving meeting instead of a nagging or scolding session.

3. Model consideration and empathy

Empathy

While time management skills will help your teen demonstrate a sense of responsibility, consideration will take him further.

I’m sure that you want your teen to be thoughtful, polite and observant – as well as responsible.

Consideration means being aware of others’ emotions and responding appropriately.

In other words, your teenager should learn to treat others with respect, while also being less self-centred.

For example, it’s OK to feel disappointed if the grocery store runs out of his favourite breakfast cereal. But it isn’t OK to complain every day about how you’re to blame because you didn’t get the cereal before it ran out.

Of course, when a situation seems unfair, anyone would be tempted to lash out or be unkind.

But if your teenager has laid the right foundation of consideration and empathy, he’ll behave in a responsible way regardless of how he feels.

This is especially so because he considers how his actions will impact others.

Example

Let’s say your teen has an uncle who is having a birthday party this weekend.

But your teen doesn’t want to go to the party. Instead, he wants to hang out with his friends.

Instead of forcing him to attend the party, you can have a discussion with him to help him to think through the situation.

You could ask questions like:

  • How do you think your uncle will feel if you don’t go to the party?
  • Is it possible for you to spend time with your friends on another day?
  • If you really decide not to attend the party, what will you do to make amends?

Bring up the topic in a non-accusatory way, and you’ll get a better response from your teen.

By processing such situations with your teen, he’ll start to consider the feelings of others more often.

4. Help your teen to develop emotional control

Emotional control

Most teenagers experience mood swings. One day, they’re cheerful. The next day, they don’t want to leave their room.

Teenagers are going through huge changes mentally and emotionally, so these mood swings are normal.

But it’s important for them to understand that all feelings are permissible, but not all actions are.

This type of emotional management is the foundation of responsibility.

Example

Differentiating between emotions can help teens to behave responsibly even when they have negative feelings.

Unfortunately, without intentional practice, many teens aren’t able to pinpoint what emotion they’re even experiencing.

Distinguishing between feelings of sadness and betrayal, disappointment and discouragement, frustration and anger, etc. are key in order for teens to manage their emotions.

As Dr Daniel Siegel says with regard to emotions, “You must name it to tame it.” This means that you need to label your emotions accurately to get them under control.

For example, many teens say that they feel upset in different situations, even though one time they might feel frustrated, while another time they might feel betrayed.

The more specific teens are about labelling their emotions, the more “manageable” their emotions become.

The following activities can help your teen to develop this skill:

  • Journaling: Encourage your teenager to write about the feelings she experiences. Explain to her: “Your writing may not make sense, and that’s OK. Sometimes, emotions don’t make sense, but journaling will help you to process them.” Invite her to talk about what she has written.
  • Drawing: Sometimes, it can prove challenging to put emotions into words. Encourage your teenager to draw or paint to express her feelings. She might use streaks of vivid colour or create comic-like sketches – whatever works to express herself.
  • Listening to music: Ask your teenager about the music she enjoys. Does she like the message behind the lyrics? Is she drawn to musicians who are passionate or calm? This exercise can help her to understand her own feelings better.

When parenting teens, it’s important to talk about the challenges you face in your own life.

When you dare to be vulnerable, it will become normal in your family to discuss emotions.

If everyone in your family is open about how they feel, it will be easier for your teen to develop the skills needed to manage her emotions.

5. Create a family culture of accountability

Accountability

If you want to raise a responsible teenager, he must understand the value of accountability.

A responsible and accountable person owns up to his actions. When he makes a mistake, he admits it.

Make sure that you model this behaviour as well!

Teach your teen the value of doing the right thing, even if the consequences for him are inconvenient or even detrimental.

When your teen is faced with a difficult choice, you want him to ask himself, “Is this the right thing to do?” instead of “If I do the wrong thing, will I get caught?”

Creating a family culture of accountability begins by emphasising the value of character development over practical outcomes.

Example

Let’s say that your teenager comes home 1 hour after his curfew without informing you in advance.

When you ask him about what happened, he blames his friends. He claims that his friends wanted to watch a late-night movie, so everyone decided to stay out longer.

Then when he started watching the movie, he forgot to tell you that he would be home late because the movie was so exciting.

He says that he would have put his friendships in jeopardy if he had gone home early.

When your teen makes a mistake, he needs to be aware that he had a choice to do the right thing – even if he didn’t feel that way.

Without losing your cool (I know this is easier said than done!), help him to reflect on the following questions:

  • Was he correct to think that he would lose his friends if he didn’t watch the movie with them?
  • Why did he think it was more important to get the approval of his friends than to keep to his curfew?
  • Did he think about how you would be worried about him?
  • At what point could he have made the right decision to leave before the movie started?
  • Were his friends really to blame for him missing the curfew?

Although you might need to enact consequences, make sure that you don’t do it in a moment of anger.

If necessary, tell your teen that you need time to think about what consequences would be suitable before you decide on them.

6. Encourage your teen to pursue self-directed goals

Goals

In order for a teenager to behave responsibly, in the long run, it must be something she chooses to do. It can’t be something she feels forced to do.

For instance, if you want your teen to be a responsible student who always works hard, then she must feel as if it’s her choice to do so.

If she feels that she’s being coerced or nagged into submitting the assignments on time, she’ll eventually act irresponsibly in this area.

How can you help your teen to become a self-motivated and responsible individual who makes wise choices?

By empowering her to set and achieve self-directed goals in various areas of her life.

Example

Instead of continually nagging your teen about how she ought to take her schoolwork and chores seriously, think about her interests.

What are her strengths? What gets her excited?

Talk to her about how she might be able to use these traits to create something (a video, website, app, artwork, etc.) or to solve a real problem.

If it’s challenging for you to do this, engage the help of a mentor or coach.

For example, if your teen is interested in music, maybe she can learn how to compose and record a song. Through this process, she’ll learn how to write lyrics, choose a song structure, create a melody, edit an audio recording, and more.

You might need to give her guidance at the beginning. But as the project progresses, she’ll learn to be more resourceful.

These are traits that students don’t typically develop in school!

Or maybe your teen has a heart to serve the needy and underprivileged. You could help her to find ways to do so in meaningful and sustainable ways.

By creating things and solving real problems (not just math and science homework problems), your teen will develop a sense of significance.

This sense of significance will be separate from that which she derives from her performance in school and in her extracurricular activities.

As time goes by, she’ll become more self-directed and responsible.

Conclusion

You can’t expect your teen to make improvements in all the 6 areas right away.

You’re not perfect, and neither is your teen. So take your time as you make progress together.

I know it’s frustrating for you to observe the ways in which your teen is irresponsible.

But instead of scolding and punishing him, apply the tips in this article. After all, you can’t scold or punish your teen into becoming a responsible young adult.

Take it one issue at a time, one tip at a time, and one day at a time.

I’m sure you’ll see improvements, so keep at it!

Alyssa Abel is an education writer with an interest in parenting, education methodologies and student lifestyle.

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Filed Under: Children, Communication, Parenting, Teens

How to Focus When Studying: 20 Uncommonly Effective Tips

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 131 Comments

Focus when studying

Do you find it hard to focus when you’re studying?

There are so many distractions these days: text messages, videos, email and social media.

Not to mention your own wandering mind.

Over the years, I’ve taught many thousands of students how to study more effectively.

One of the best ways to improve your grades is to learn how to focus better while you study.

I’ve come up with this list of 20 tips and techniques to help you concentrate while studying.

(To get 5 additional tips, download the free PDF below.)

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How to focus on studying

You can learn how to focus better by trying some of these techniques during your next study session.

When you find one that works, make it a part of your routine every time you study.

1. Use your phone camera or webcam to record yourself studying

This tip may sound strange, but it works.

Set up your webcam or your phone camera to record a video of yourself studying.

The idea is to create accountability.

Instead of having a friend check on your progress, you have a camera watching everything you do.

Knowing that you are being watched will remind you of your objective.

Just when you’re about to get distracted, you’ll remember that everything you’re doing is being recorded.

It’s a useful reminder to yourself that you’ve made a commitment to study.

2. Use Focusmate

If you want to take it to the next level, use Focusmate instead.

With Focusmate, you make a pre-commitment to study for a 50-minute period at least one day in advance.

You then get paired with a real-life accountability partner.

You must turn on your webcam during the 50-minute session. This means that you and your study partner can see and hear each other during the study session.

If you leave your desk without giving an explanation, your study partner can report you, and vice versa.

Similarly, if you don’t turn up to your study session or if you are late, your study partner can report you.

Non-compliance results in the system marking you down. If your score falls below a certain level, the system will eventually lock you out.

But if you keep your commitments and complete your study session, the system will reward you with points.

3. If you don’t feel like starting work, take 1 minute to prepare yourself mentally

Timer

Sometimes you may not even feel like getting to work.

When this happens, take a minute to prepare yourself mentally.

Set a timer for a minute and tell yourself that you’ll start work when the timer goes off.

By doing this, you’ll be much more likely to get to work at the end of the minute.

This is called an “implementation intention”.

Any time you signal to yourself an intention to do something, it makes it easier to begin that task.

In this case, the implementation intention is to set a timer for a minute before starting a study session, if you feel like procrastinating.

So, if you find it hard to motivate yourself to start studying, take a minute and prepare yourself mentally.

By doing this, you will eliminate the resistance you were experiencing.

4. Before your first study session of the day, create a plan for the day

Make the plan as detailed as possible.

There’s a good reason for this. You must be clear about what you’re going to achieve during each study session.

For example, “study science” is not a sufficiently detailed study plan.

Here’s an example of a plan with enough detail: “Read pages 25 to 32 of the science textbook and create a summary diagram.”

When you break a task down into detailed components, you will have a better idea as to whether it’s achievable within the specified study period.

Another advantage of creating a detailed plan is that it becomes easier to assess your progress.

If you’re halfway through your study period and you’ve already completed half of what you planned to achieve, you’ll know you’re on track.

A key part of studying effectively is setting specific tasks to work on during each study session.

5. Write down exactly why you want to study hard

Another way to stay focused when studying is to be clear about why you want to study hard in the first place.

Write down the reasons you want to study hard.

Keep the list handy so you can remind yourself of these reasons when you find yourself losing concentration.

For example, you might write down:

  • “I want to become a more knowledgeable person.”
  • “I want to become a more self-driven person.”
  • “I want to cultivate the habit of always doing my best.”
  • “I want to make the most of my educational opportunities and learn as much as I can.”

Try to focus on process-oriented reasons rather than outcome-oriented reasons.

Why?

Because outcomes are often beyond your control, whereas the process is always within your control.

For example, the outcome of getting A’s for all your subjects is, in some ways, beyond your control. But studying for a total of at least 2 hours every day is a process that is within your control.

Here’s another reason to focus on the process rather than on the outcome.

The outcome could be something that may only come to pass in the distant future.

On the other hand, the process is something you engage in every day.

It’s far more effective to measure the achievement of the process than the achievement of the outcome.

6. Keep track of all the tasks you’ve completed

Keep track of tasks

Keep a record of all the tasks you complete each day.

This is important for two reasons.

Firstly, it allows you to monitor whether you are meeting the objectives set in your study plan.

If you are not meeting your objectives, you may have underestimated the time required for the tasks.

But if you are completing your tasks with time to spare, you may be able to set your targets higher.

Secondly, it’s important for your morale to see that you are making progress.

Studying is an activity where progress isn’t always easy to measure. But when you keep track of the tasks you have completed, you’ll be clearer about the progress you are making.

This will remind you that you have been productive, which will keep you motivated.

7. Put only the materials you need for your current task on your desk

The brain is able to process information more effectively in an uncluttered environment. This is what researchers have discovered.

As such, it’s a good idea to place on your desk only the items that you need to complete the task at hand. For example, this might consist of the assignment, a pen, a pencil, an eraser, and a calculator.

Make a list of what items you’ll need during your study session. Make sure you have only those items on your desk.

If your study area is disorganised, take a couple of minutes to tidy it up before you start work.

Having things neat and tidy has a calming effect on your mind and will help you to concentrate.

8. Get your brain ready by doing deep breathing exercises before each study session

Deep breathing exercises increase the ability of your mind to focus.

Researchers at Trinity College Institute of Neuroscience have studied the effect of breathing exercises on the body’s production of noradrenaline.

Noradrenaline functions as a neurotransmitter, which affects your concentration.

By regulating your breathing, you can optimise your levels of noradrenaline.

The researchers concluded that “there is a strong connection between breath-centred practices and a steadiness of mind”.

Here is a simple breathing exercise that will bring calm and focus to your mind before you study:

  • Close your eyes and take a deep breath in through your nose for 4 seconds.
  • When you feel that your lungs are full of air, hold your breath for 2 seconds.
  • Then slowly exhale through your nose for 4 seconds.

Do this exercise three times in succession before the start of every study session.

Try it out now to see how relaxed it makes you feel!

9. Don’t study in bed

Do not study in bed

Don’t try to do anything productive while lying or sitting in bed.

It’s important that the place where you study is not the same as the place where you sleep.

You won’t be able to study effectively in a place that you associate with relaxing or sleeping. In fact, this is my first suggestion when students ask me how to avoid sleepiness while studying.

Also, if you study in bed you will either be lying down or sitting cross-legged.

Neither of these positions is conducive for maximal focus. These positions may even result in neckaches and backaches.

What’s more, you may end up taking unintended naps!

So do your work at a proper study desk, every single time – this is a good habit that every student should cultivate!

10. Adjust the temperature of your studying environment

Make sure the temperature where you are studying is optimal.

Researchers at Cornell University found some interesting results when office temperatures were raised from 20°C to 25°C (68°F to 77°F).

Typing errors fell by 44% and output increased by about 150%.

Most research shows that the temperature most conducive for working and studying is in the range of 22°C to 25°C (72°F to 77°F).

So if it’s possible for you to adjust the temperature of your studying environment, keep it within this range.

11. Write down exactly what you’re working on at the moment

Every time you begin a study session, write down the task that you’ll be working on.

Do this on a rough sheet of paper and leave it on your study desk. This way, it will serve as a constant reminder about what you should be doing at the moment.

Just as you need a detailed plan for the day (Tip #4), you also need a detailed plan for each study session.

For example, if you write down “Do math assignment” for the current study session, it’s not specific enough.

“Do math assignment, questions 1 to 3” is more specific, so you’re more likely to stay on task.

12. Tell your family your study schedule for the day

Schedule

Post your study schedule on your bedroom door or on the fridge door in the kitchen.

This way, your family will know when they shouldn’t disturb you.

There’s another benefit to doing this. It also gives you a greater sense of accountability.

By making a pre-commitment to your family about when you’ll be studying, you’ll be more likely to stick to your study schedule.

All in all, this is a simple tip that will enable you to concentrate when you’re studying.

13. Put all of your digital devices in another room

This might seem like common sense, but I’m surprised how many of my teenage coaching clients were not doing this before I started working with them.

The old adage “out of sight, out of mind” applies here.

Leave your tablet and phone in another room and put them on silent mode.

Minimising temptations is one of the keys to being productive.

In addition, even if you feel tempted to check your phone, you probably won’t do it because the effort required to walk to the other room is too great.

14. Use these two apps to eliminate digital distractions

The first app I recommend is Forest.

With this app, your study session “becomes” a tree.

At the beginning of the session, you plant the tree and it starts to grow. But if you close the app, the tree dies – and nobody wants their precious tree to die!

By using the app, you’ll have a more productive study session.

Of course, having your phone next to you while you study could be a distraction (as mentioned in the previous tip).

This means that you’ll need to be careful not to use your phone for anything else.

The second app you can use to remove digital distractions is Freedom.

You can schedule this app to block other apps such as YouTube, games, and social media to keep you on track.

15. Listen to classical music while studying

Classical music

Listening to classical music is another way to help you focus when studying.

Dr. Masha Godkin, professor at Northcentral University, has researched the effects of music on our brains.

She found that classical music can take you from the beta brainwave state to the deeper alpha state, and even further to the theta state.

According to Dr. Godkin, the ability of music to stimulate both sides of the brain is why music helps you focus and also improves your memory.

Classical music with a fast tempo, such as Beethoven’s Für Elise, is effective in helping students to concentrate and remember more information.

16. If you don’t like classical music, listen to music/sounds from these two websites

If you don’t like classical music, try using Coffitivity instead.

Coffitivity simulates the sounds you would hear in a cafe to boost your creativity and brain function.

It’s designed based on research at the University of Chicago. This research shows that we think better and are more creative when there is a moderate level of background noise.

Alternatively, try listening to Brain.fm.

Brain.fm offers music engineered to help you achieve and sustain deep focus.

Personally, I use Brain.fm almost every day, and I’ve found it to be useful. By listening to Brain.fm, I’m able to stay focused for about 50% longer than before!

17. Use earphones or headphones while studying

If you intend to use Tips #15 or #16, then you’ll probably want to use earphones or headphones.

But even if you don’t want to listen to any type of music, using earphones or headphones is still a good way to improve your concentration while you study.

Why?

Because they insulate you from the outside world.

Using earphones or headphones is a signal to others that you are occupied.

This reduces the likelihood that others will interrupt your study session.

Wearing earphones or headphones will also remind yourself that you are in the middle of a study session.

18. Count how many study sessions you complete each day

Count study sessions

There’s a saying that “what gets measured, gets done”. This principle applies to study sessions too.

Keep track of how many study sessions you complete each day.

This way, you’ll become more intentional about getting to work.

Let’s say that you typically study in blocks of 30 minutes.

Before you begin your first study session of the day, you might decide that your goal for the day is to do at least 3 sessions of 30 minutes each.

As the day goes by, count how many sessions you’ve completed.

By keeping score in this way, you’ll focus on the process of doing the work. As a result, you’ll get more work done!

19. When you feel as if you’re about to get distracted, write it down

It’s inevitable: From time to time, you’ll get distracted during your study sessions. So you need a strategy for dealing with these distractions.

Here’s a technique that works well.

Let’s say that you’re reading your science notes when you get the urge to check your text messages.

Instead of giving in to the temptation, write down on a rough sheet of paper: “Check text messages.”

Once you’ve done that, you’ll find that it’s easier to go back to studying.

During your next break, you can go ahead and do what you’ve listed on that rough sheet of paper. In this case, you can check your text messages.

Why is this technique effective?

Because instead of simply trying to resist the urge, you get to “take action” by writing down the distraction. In doing so, you’re acknowledging the urge without giving in to it.

This leaves you free to go back to what you were doing before – studying.

20. Set an end time for when you’ll stop studying each day

Set end time for studying

This might not be the advice you were expecting.

After all, shouldn’t you be trying to study for as many hours as you can every day?

No, because the idea is to study smart, not just hard.

Of course, you need to work hard. But it’s also essential to lead a balanced life.

So set a strict deadline, such as 9:30 pm, and make sure that you don’t do any work after that time. The best time of the day to study is specific to every student, but it’s important that you decide when you’ll stop studying each day.

This will give you time to wind down before going to bed. This means that you’ll be able to get those 8 hours of sleep that you need to optimise your academic performance.

There’s another advantage to setting a specific end time for when you’ll stop studying each day.

Clearly defined limits help you to concentrate on what you’re doing right now.

You won’t get distracted as often, because you know that you won’t stay up late to catch up on the time you’ve wasted because of procrastination.

The result?

You’ll learn more in less time, and you’ll get good grades too.

Conclusion

Staying focused while studying is something that all students struggle with.

But there are many things you can do to help you concentrate and get into a flow state when studying.

As described in this article, there are plenty of ways to harness the power of your mind and make it work with you, not against you.

So take at least several study tips from this article and work them into your routine, starting today.

If you do this, you’ll find that your study sessions will become more productive and enjoyable!

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Rebellious Teens: 25 Practical Tips to Parent Them Effectively

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 13 Comments

Rebellious teens

How do you handle a rebellious teen?

It’s a challenging situation for parents to deal with.

Angry answers to innocent questions, slammed doors, refusing to study – these are behaviours you may be all too familiar with.

Rebellious teens can turn the home into a war zone. So parents come to me feeling as if their teenagers hate them.

Through my work with over 20,000 teens so far, I’ve come across every kind of parent-teen problem you can imagine.

I’ve learned what works and what doesn’t. So, in this article, I’m going to share with you 25 tips for handling rebellious teens more effectively.

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1. Decide exactly which behaviours are unacceptable

There are many behaviours your teenager displays that might annoy you.

You might not like the clothes she wears, or you might not like the mess in his bedroom.

But if you react to every one of these behaviours, your relationship with your teenager will descend into one long argument.

Over time, your teen will come to see you as a parent who can never be pleased.

Not only that, if you are constantly criticising your teenager, she will soon learn to block it out as “background noise”.

And that’s bad, because when you really need to register your disapproval, it won’t count for anything.

So it’s essential to be clear about the difference between behaviours that are annoying and those that are unacceptable.

To put it another way, you need to pick your battles.

Parents will have their own boundaries regarding behaviour that is annoying and behaviour that is unacceptable.

Screaming at you while you’re trying to explain something or calling you an “idiot” to your face might be examples of unacceptable behaviours.

On the other hand, what time they take a shower and what they choose to eat might be examples of behaviours that you choose to ignore.

2. Accept the fact that your teen isn’t perfect

Overparenting can take many forms. One common manifestation of overparenting is expecting too much of your teenager.

It’s natural for parents to want the best for their teenagers. After all, we are biologically programmed to protect and care for our children.

But wanting the best for your teenager can easily turn into something negative.

That’s what happens when parents turn their teens into a “project”.

For these parents, their teenager is a “diamond in the rough” that needs to be polished to an ever-higher standard.

High parental aspirations can lead to an obsession with perfection. And that, in turn, can make your teenager feel suffocated.

As a parent, it’s crucial to remember that the teenage years are about letting go. Your teenager is learning to separate himself from you.

He is in the process of launching out into the world, so he longs for independence and autonomy.

As a parent, it’s hard not to be concerned about your teenager’s future. But you must balance that concern with your teenager’s need to become his own person.

3. Focus on just one issue at a time

Plan

When parenting teens who display defiant behaviour, focus on one issue at a time.

Your teen may be exhibiting many problematic or risky behaviours. But if you try to deal with all of them at once, it will be difficult to address any one behaviour effectively.

It’s much better to tackle difficult behaviours one at a time, typically starting with smaller issues and then moving on to bigger issues.

This way, the focus will be clear, and you will avoid overwhelming your teen.

4. When having a serious conversation with your teen, try to have it outside the home

Why do I recommend this?

Because your teen probably thinks of your home as a place where you have all the power.

It’s better to have the conversation on neutral ground, such as in a café, a restaurant, or on a park bench.

This way, your teen will be more likely to be open to constructive discussion. She will also be less likely to subconsciously revert to rebellious attitudes.

If possible, have the conversation at a place your teen enjoys going to. This will further improve the chances of having a fruitful discussion.

5. Discuss possible solutions together with your teen

Make sure the conversation is focused on problem-solving, and ensure that your teen is part of the process of finding a solution.

This will create a positive atmosphere where both parties are able to suggest possible solutions to the problem.

Avoid turning the meeting into a one-sided conversation where you set the rules and your teen has to accept your position.

Such one-sided conversations will lead to a confrontation, which won’t help the situation.

6. Ensure that nobody walks away from the discussion feeling like a loser

Ensure that the discussion ends in a win-win (or at least no-lose) situation for both you and your teenager.

Make sure that your teenager doesn’t leave the meeting feeling like they lost, and you won.

The way to do this is to help your teenager feel heard. Allow them to play an active role in reaching the outcomes you both agree upon.

For example, if the issue is how much screen time your teenager should have on weekdays, ask her to suggest a limit.

Or if the issue is that your teenager is not helping with the household chores, ask him what daily tasks he would be willing to do.

When teenagers feel as if they are involved in the discussion, they are more likely to take ownership of the solutions and stick to them.

7. Postpone the conversation if you or your teen starts to become angry

Angry

Keep in mind that the purpose of the meeting isn’t to vent frustrations.

When tempers flare, it’s challenging to find solutions that both parties are agreeable to.

So if either you or your teen starts to get angry, it’s best to postpone the conversation to another time.

8. Refrain from casting judgment on your teen

Avoid making judgmental statements about your teen’s choices or behaviour.

In particular, avoid statements that begin with the words: “You always” or “You never”.

These kinds of statements are too general, and will put your teen on the defensive.

If your teen feels that you regard her as a “problem child”, she is likely to continue her problematic behaviour.

This is because teens tend to behave in a way that is consistent with how their parents view them.

Repetitive nagging or criticism will push your teen toward rebellious behaviour.

9. Understand how your teen feels instead of prescribing solutions

As a parent, it’s natural to point out to your teen solutions to their problems.

For example, you might want to say to your daughter: “If you didn’t use your phone so much, you wouldn’t get such bad grades.”

Or you might want to say to your son: “If you kept your room tidy, you wouldn’t keep losing your belongings.”

But your teen will see these “solutions” as criticisms, and will feel irritated as a result.

Instead of pointing out what they are doing wrong, start out by building a better relationship with your teen.

The best way to do that is to listen.

Listen to your teen “actively”. This means listening in a way that your teen will feel respected.

Maintain eye contact, and nod your head once in a while. Use phrases like “Tell me more” to encourage your teen to continue talking.

Once in a while, summarise what you think you hear your teen saying.

These active listening techniques send a message to your teen that he is being heard. Your teen will share more about what he is feeling, so you’ll understand him better.

10. As a family, create a family mission statement

Family mission statement

Almost every company has a mission statement. A mission statement guides it as it serves its customers and conducts its business.

Families can benefit from having a mission statement too.

One benefit of having a mission statement is that it lays out a set of shared principles and values. Having a shared sense of purpose bonds parents and children together.

This is especially so if you involve your children in developing the mission statement.

To create a family mission statement, have a family meeting, and ask questions such as:

  • What is our family’s mission?
  • What kind of family do we want to be?
  • Which values are most important to our family?
  • What kind of relationships do we want to have within our family?
  • How do we want to treat one another?

For more information about developing a family mission statement, refer to this article.

11. Share your feelings about your teen’s behaviour

One of the reasons your teen is so defiant is that it seems to her that you have all the power, while she has none.

You can restore balance to the relationship by allowing yourself to be vulnerable.

Instead of just telling your teen that his behaviour is not acceptable, tell him how you feel about his behaviour.

For example, you could say: “I feel worried when I see you staying up past midnight on a school night. This is because it’s going to be hard for you to get through school the next day.”

Or you could say: “I feel disrespected when you walk away in the middle of a conversation.”

By sharing your feelings – instead of nagging or criticising your teen – you make yourself vulnerable.

If you deal with teenage attitude this way, your teen will be more understanding and less rebellious.

Contrast this with the kind of parenting that sends this message: “I’m the parent, you’re the child, and you’ll just do as I say.” This approach encourages your teen to become more rebellious.

12. Confirm what you think you hear your teen saying

During the teen years, when your child’s brain is still developing, communicating with her will often not be straightforward.

So it’s a good idea to confirm that you have understood what she is saying.

For example, you might ask your teenage daughter: “Is it okay if I send this photo of you to your grandparents?”

She might reply: “I guess so.”

This doesn’t sound like a definite “yes”, so it would be best to check your understanding of her response.

You could then ask: “Does that mean you’re happy for me to send that photo, or would you rather I choose a different one?”

Using this approach can help to avoid a misunderstanding that later leads to a conflict.

13. When your teen does something you appreciate, let him or her know

Appreciate your teen

As a parent of a teen, it’s easy to become focused on the behaviours that bother you.

The danger of this is that your teen may come to see you as an “unpleasable parent”.

As such, it’s important to show appreciation when your teen does something you’re grateful for.

If your teen helps her younger brother with his homework, you could say: “Thank you for helping Joshua with his homework.”

Or if you see your teenage son taking out the trash, you could say: “I appreciate you helping out with the household chores.”

14. Don’t use sarcasm

Sarcasm might seem funny, but it’s actually a form of aggression. You can see this from the origin of the word.

“Sarcasm” comes from the Greek word “sarkazein”, which means “to tear the flesh off”.

Using sarcasm will damage the relationship between you and your teenager. This is because your teenager will feel wounded and belittled.

If you are in the habit of using sarcasm, make a conscious effort to eliminate the habit altogether.

Using sarcasm frequently will result in a toxic home environment. This will lead to your teenager becoming more rebellious.

15. Set an example for your teen

It’s not reasonable to expect your teen to behave in a particular way if you don’t model that behaviour.

So be careful about how you speak to your teen. As far as possible, speak to him with kindness and respect.

For example, you may feel like saying: “It’s already 10 pm, and tomorrow’s a school day. And you haven’t even started your homework! What’s wrong with you?”

Speaking rudely sends an indirect message to your teen that it’s okay to talk like that when he’s agitated.

A better way to address the issue would be to say: “It’s 10 pm and tomorrow is a school day. Can you please share with me why you haven’t started on your homework yet?”

16. Don’t lecture your teen

Lecture your teen

When your teen does something she shouldn’t have, it’s tempting to lecture her.

But doing so will tend to make your teen see herself as a “bad kid”. It will also make her turn defensive.

Another problem with lectures is that they are focused on the past. The parent delivering the lecture may bring up a long list of past incidents and wrongdoings.

It’s much more productive to focus on the future and to ask your teen questions that invite him to be part of the solution.

For example, let’s say your teenage son breaks his curfew. Instead of lecturing him about the importance of keeping to his curfew, try to understand why he came home late.

When you understand the situation more clearly, shift the conversation toward solutions to ensure that this won’t happen again.

If you really can’t help but lecture your teen, keep the lectures short – less than 5 minutes. Any longer than 5 minutes and the lecture won’t have any effect on your teen.

17. Try to uncover if there’s anything else going on with your teen

When you’re having problems with a rebellious teen, it’s natural to focus on your teen’s behaviour.

But before dealing with the behaviour, get to the root of the issue.

If you notice a sudden change in your teen’s behaviour, it’s worth considering whether she is getting bullied at school.

Or perhaps the root cause might be an issue related to self-esteem, body image or anxiety.

Take the time to listen to your teen and build the relationship, so that she’ll be more willing to share her problems with you.

Your teen’s behaviour will only improve when you address the underlying issue.

18. Get professional help

If the situation doesn’t improve, seek professional help.

There’s no shame in asking for assistance.

If you break your foot, you won’t hesitate to get help from a doctor. Likewise, if the situation with your teenager is broken, don’t hesitate to get professional help.

For example, I offer this 1-to-1 coaching programme for teenagers, where I enable them to become motivated, focused and responsible.

19. Give your teen some space

Give your teen space

Family life can be intense, so there are times when we all need to decompress.

In particular, teens need physical and emotional space to unwind.

The reason for this is that as they transition into adulthood, they desire more independence and autonomy.

As they wrestle with this transition, they need space to think and reflect.

So if your teen asks for space, try to oblige him as much as is feasible.

20. Don’t punish your teen harshly

When dealing with rebellious teens, never mete out harsh punishments. Avoid any form of physical or emotional abuse, e.g. withholding basic necessities such as food, slapping your teen.

I know parents who have gone so far as to threaten their teen with a knife in an attempt to change his behaviour!

Harsh punishments will only make him more withdrawn and defiant.

Keep in mind that your relationship with your teen is fragile. Once it is damaged, it can be hard to repair.

21. Do something enjoyable with your teen

So much of family life is taken up with routine activities. Often, it doesn’t occur to parents to do something enjoyable with their teens.

Once a month or so, go somewhere with your teen and do something enjoyable together.

It could be going to the park, fishing, or watching a movie.

Doing this is about building the relationship with your teen. So it’s vital that during this activity you don’t nag, criticise, or lecture your teen.

22. Never set rules without explaining the logic behind them

Rules

When you create rules within your family, always explain to your children the rationale behind the rules. This applies especially to teenagers.

Your teenager is more likely to accept your rules if she knows the reasons behind them.

If your teenager asks about the reason behind one of your rules, never say “Because I said so” or “My house, my rules”.

Statements like these will leave your teenager feeling frustrated. As a result, he’ll become more defiant.

When you create rules, do your best to involve your teenager in making the new rules.

For example, you could say to your teenage son: “I think we need to talk about how late you can stay out at parties. What seems like a reasonable time to you?”

Having such a discussion is itself an excellent relationship-building exercise.

It will make your teenager feel that his views are being heard.

23. Do something nice for your teen

A nice gesture, however small, can go a long way in building the relationship with your teen.

If you’re going through a rough patch with your teen, you may not feel like doing this.

But remember that love is intentional. You don’t have to feel like showing love in order to act in a loving way.

Here are some examples of nice gestures that will help to build the relationship between you and your teen:

  • Write her a note to wish her all the best for a test
  • Put a small packet of his favourite snack on his table
  • Buy a copy of a magazine she likes
  • Buy him a gift card
  • Offer to make her a sandwich

A gesture like this is particularly powerful when it’s not a reward for “good” behaviour. This is because your teen will realise you did it just because you love him.

24. Realise that your teen is rebelling because he or she probably feels powerless

As a parent, it’s often hard to remember what the world looks like through the eyes of your teen.

In your teen’s eyes, you have all the power, and they have very little.

I’ve worked with thousands of pre-teens and teens. This is something I see over and over again – many of them feel powerless.

In nearly every aspect of their lives, they feel as if someone else has the power.

This takes the form of:

  • Authority figures forcing them to go to school (even if they hate going to school) and do their homework
  • Boundaries related to phone usage and how much mobile data they can use
  • Rules about how much TV they can watch, what time they need to be home by, etc.

Of course, boundaries are necessary. But it’s also important to give your teen a sense of control and autonomy.

After all, you can’t control every choice your teen makes. Neither can you control every aspect of your teen’s behaviour.

However, if you empower them to make decisions for themselves, you’ll motivate your teens to try harder.

25. Don’t expect the situation to improve overnight

Start to finish

Don’t expect a sudden improvement in your teenager’s behaviour.

Even if you apply all of the tips in this article, it will still take time to see results.

Your teenager didn’t become defiant overnight. It was probably a process that took months, or even years.

In a similar way, helping your teenager to become less defiant is also a process that will take time.

Conclusion

The tips in this article are all ways of helping your teenager to become more respectful and responsible.

(To learn 5 bonus tips, download the free PDF below.)

Of course, it would be impossible to implement all the tips at once.

Put two or three of the tips into practice and monitor your teenager’s progress. As the weeks go by, apply more tips gradually.

Over time, your teenager will become less rebellious. Your home will also become a more peaceful and harmonious place!

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Filed Under: Children, Parenting, Relationships, Teens

Growth Mindset for Students: 10 Phrases Every Student Should Use

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 25 Comments

Successful and resilient studentsDoes a growth mindset for students matter?

It definitely does.

The words and phrases you use as you talk to yourself shape the way you feel.

Your self-talk can make you feel discouraged, or it can lift you up.

As a student, it’s important to pay attention to the words you use as you talk to yourself and others about your frustrations and challenges.

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Fixed mindset versus growth mindset

The view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life. – Professor Carol Dweck, mindset researcher

Your thoughts are powerful.

So, what are you telling yourself? What stories about yourself are running on repeat?

Much of our understanding of the power of mindset comes from Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck.

In her research, Dweck discovered that our mindset can determine whether we become the person we want to be, and whether we achieve the goals we most desire.

Dweck outlined two mindsets:

Fixed mindset

Students with a fixed mindset believe their abilities and intelligence are fixed traits; you either have a specific talent or trait, or you don’t.

When you believe your qualities are carved in stone, you feel an urgency to continually prove that you’re worthy of success.

Students with a fixed mindset might say things like “I just can’t do sports” or “I just don’t get math”.

They’re likely to see a bad grade as a failure rather than as an opportunity to learn from their mistakes.

Growth mindset

Students who have a growth mindset believe they can develop their talents and improve over time.

Maybe they’re not a “natural” at everything, but these students know that if they work hard enough, they can and will get better.

When students have a growth mindset, they also have a passion for learning. They know that it’s not the outcome but the journey of becoming a better student and person that matters.

When you cultivate a growth mindset, you build confidence. You don’t fear criticism or rejection, and you learn from your mistakes to continually maximise your potential.

You know that your effort is what’s important. Everything else — your intelligence, abilities, talents, and relationships — you can work to develop.

10 phrases that students with a growth mindset use

Idea

So, you’re ready to adopt a growth mindset.

What should you say to yourself to embrace this mindset?

Here are 10 phrases you can use to become a more successful and resilient student.

Give these phrases a try, then observe how your thoughts and behaviour begin to change.

1. “I get to” (don’t say “I have to”)

Instead of saying “I have to”, say “I get to”.

The words “I have to” create a feeling of annoyance. The task at hand will become a burden that you can’t escape from.

But if you say “I get to”, you’ll create a feeling of opportunity and gratitude. The task will seem like a privilege instead of a chore.

For example, don’t say to your parents that you have to take part in the school play. Instead, try saying: “I get to participate in the play and see if acting is something I enjoy.”

Notice the difference? Now, it’s not a burden; it’s an opportunity.

Here’s another example.

Instead of thinking to yourself, “I have to go to school”, try saying to yourself, “I get to go to school”.

You’ll instantly feel happier! You’ll also feel more motivated to go to school and to study.

You’ll also remember that millions of children and teenagers around the world want to go to school, but don’t have the opportunity to.

2. “I’ll figure it out” (don’t say “I can’t do it”)

There are very few things in life that you simply cannot do. You may need some help, or you may need more information.

Almost always, there’s a solution.

But when you say “I can’t do it”, it stops you from finding the solution.

So say “I’ll figure it out” instead, and you’ll see how this growth mindset for students makes you more successful and resilient!

3. “I learned something” (don’t say “I made a mistake”)

Learn

Mistakes are valuable lessons in disguise.

The more open you are to making mistakes, the faster you’ll learn.

But to do that, you have to start seeing mistakes as opportunities to learn.

Here’s a real-life example of someone with this attitude.

Thomas Edison famously made 10,000 failed attempts at inventing the light bulb before he succeeded.

When a reporter asked him how it felt to fail 10,000 times, Edison replied, “I didn’t fail 10,000 times. I didn’t even fail one time. I succeeded in proving that those 10,000 ways will not work.”

Mistakes are a vital part of the learning process. So, when you make a mistake, say to yourself: “I learned something.”

4. “I’m working on this” (don’t say “I’m bad at this”)

When you say “I’m bad at this”, you send a message to your brain that this is just the way you are. You’re telling yourself that it’s a permanent trait that you can’t change.

But this isn’t true.

The more you practise anything, the better you’ll get.

Look at anyone who’s good at a particular skill. For example, a ballerina, a guitarist, or an award-winning writer.

Those people are outstanding at what they do because they’ve put in thousands of hours of practice — they understand the importance of developing a growth mindset.

When you tell yourself “I’m working on it”, you’re reminding yourself that learning is a process that takes effort.

You’re also reminding yourself that if you keep at it, you’re sure to make progress.

5. “This will take some time” (don’t say “I’m not smart enough”)

As a student, you’ll come across something you don’t understand every day.

It might be a math equation, or it might be a word you don’t know the meaning of.

When you don’t understand something, it’s natural to think: “This is too hard — I’m not smart enough.”

Instead, try saying to yourself: “This is complicated — it will take some time to understand it.”

Let’s face it … some subjects are complicated and require you to study smarter.

But that doesn’t mean you’ll never master a certain topic. It just means that you need more time.

Keep persevering and the pieces of the puzzle will fall into place. Over time, you’ll become a better and more resilient student.

6. “I don’t” (don’t say “I can’t”)

Write out information

A big part of being a successful student is learning to say no to temptations.

The first thing is to accept that temptations will arise.

The temptation to watch videos instead of studying. Or the temptation to stay up late, when you know you should go to bed.

What’s important is how you deal with such temptations.

Research has shown that the way we talk to ourselves plays a big role in how we deal with temptations.

For example, you might say to yourself: “I can’t watch TV because I haven’t finished my homework.”

This kind of self-talk tends to increase the level of temptation because it focuses your attention on something you can’t do (watch TV).

Instead, try saying to yourself: “I don’t watch TV until I’ve finished my homework.”

Do you notice the difference?

Instead of feeling restricted, the second statement makes you feel powerful and in control. The temptation has suddenly shrunk in size.

Why?

Because now you have the power, not the temptation. So start developing the habit of saying “I don’t” instead of “I can’t”!

7. “I will” (don’t say “I should”)

Instead of saying that you should do something, try saying that you will do it. This is a hallmark of a growth mindset for students.

One problem with saying “I should” is that it can easily turn into wishful thinking. You aren’t making a commitment to take positive action.

That’s why it’s better to replace “should” statements with “will” statements.

  • Instead of saying “I should exercise more often”, try saying “I will exercise more often”.
  • Instead of saying “I should manage my time better”, try saying “I will manage my time better”.
  • Instead of saying “I should pay attention in class”, try saying “I will pay attention in class”.

“Will” statements empower you to make a change. On the other hand, “should” statements trap you in a state of inaction.

8. “How can I keep improving?” (don’t say “I’m already good at this”)

Planning

When you think about your performance in different subjects or activities, you might be tempted to say, “I’m already good at this.”

But it’s better to say to yourself, “How can I keep improving?”

Let’s say you’re one of the best writers in your class. If you tell yourself that you’re already a good writer, so you don’t need to practise more, then you won’t maximise your potential.

But if you focus on improving, then you’ll become an even better writer.

The process is what counts, and there’s always room for improvement.

It’s by understanding this principle that world-class performers become the best in their field.

9. “I’ll find out” (don’t say “I don’t know”)

When you don’t know the answer to something, instead of saying “I don’t know”, try saying “I’ll find out”.

With the Internet, there’s never been another time in human history when it’s been so easy to gain access to knowledge. (Take this article on the importance of a growth mindset for students as an example!)

If you adopt this “I’ll find out” mindset, you’ll enlarge the horizons of your knowledge.

But if you say “I don’t know”, you’ll close the door to expanding your mind.

10. “This is a challenging opportunity” (don’t say “This is a problem”)

In your life as a student, you’ll face problems that seem insurmountable.

Imagine that you’ve prepared a speech to give to your class. At the last minute, you realise that you’ve lost your notes.

You’ll be delivering the speech in three minutes.

What will you do?

Instead of seeing the situation as a problem, look at it as a challenging opportunity.

Because you don’t have your notes, you’ll speak more spontaneously. You’ll also make more eye contact with your audience.

Your teacher might even congratulate you on giving a fantastic speech! And it’s all because you turned a problem into a challenging opportunity.

Language is powerful

Here’s a table that sums up the key points of this article on the value of a growth mindset for students:

Comparison table

Student life is full of challenges.

The words you use when you talk about these challenges affect the way you deal with them.

Language is powerful because it shapes the way we think. In our self-talk, we all have a tendency to use words that limit our ability to deal with challenges.

The next time you face a challenge, change the words you use to talk about it. Use the positive phrases listed in this article and observe the difference it makes.

You’ll gain a sense of power and develop a success mindset, one phrase at a time. You’ll become a better student who’s more resilient too.

I encourage you to get started today!

(If you haven’t already done so, make sure to download your free quick action guide below.)

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Filed Under: Education, Happiness, Learning, Motivation, Success, Teens

30 Simple Ways to Set a Good Example for Your Children

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 4 Comments

Family

As a parent, you know it’s important to lead by example.

As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “What you are speaks so loudly, I can’t hear what you are saying.”

But life can get so busy.

There are chores to do, errands to run, projects to complete, and events to attend.

And of course, there are also children to bring up.

So it’s to be expected that many parents rarely ask themselves, “Am I setting a good example for my children?”

Through my extensive 1-to-1 coaching work with pre-teens and teens, I’ve observed first-hand how much influence parents have on their children – whether good or bad.

So in this article, I’ll share with you 30 simple ways for you to set a good example for your children.

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1. Be vulnerable. Don’t be afraid to tell your children about your failures and shortcomings. Share with them how you’ve learned to be resilient. Explain to them how you overcame the challenges and obstacles you faced. This approach is vital as you think about how to build confidence in your kids.

2. Value relationships over material wealth. I’ve heard it said that we ought to love people and use things. But many people do the opposite: they love things and use people. Show your children that relationships always matter more than things.

3. Embrace challenges. Get outside your comfort zone on a regular basis and confront your fears. Your children will learn from your positive attitude.

4. Be committed to personal development. Always be improving yourself in some way, e.g. knowledge, habits, skills, emotional control. Your children will see how committed you are to leading a better life, day by day.

5. Write cards to your friends. My own mother used to do this often as a way of encouraging her friends. This helped me to see how vital it is to invest in your friendships.

6. Volunteer and do charity work. We all want our children to serve others and contribute to their communities. Let’s set an example by making a difference through some kind of volunteer work.

7. Invite your neighbours over for dinner. By doing this, you’ll show your children the importance of hospitality. You’ll also forge a deeper relationship with your neighbours.

8. Take care of your health. I’m sure you want your children to be healthy and strong, so lead by example in this area. Exercise regularly, eat well, and get 8 hours of sleep every night. Not only will you be healthier, but you’ll also have more energy to be a great parent!

9. Focus on health rather than appearance. Many parents I know often complain about their “fat thighs” and “flabby arms”. This sends the message to their children that appearance is what matters, when health and healthy habits are what actually count.

10. Compliment others sincerely. By paying someone a sincere compliment, you might make his or her day. Start by saying positive things to your children and other members of the family.

11. Manage your emotions. When faced with frustrating or worrying situations, use various techniques to stay calm. Your children will learn from you how essential it is to stay in control of their emotions and not take things out on others.

12. Listen attentively.  If someone is speaking to you, put away your phone or any other distractions and listen attentively. This is one way to show respect toward others. And, in turn, get your kids to respect you by listening to you when you speak.

13. Don’t be too concerned about what others think of you. As Ann Landers once said, “At age 20, we worry about what everyone thinks of us. At age 40, we don’t care what anyone thinks of us. At age 60, we realise that nobody has been thinking of us at all.” We should be more concerned about living a purpose- and values-driven life, instead of worrying about gaining the approval of others.

14. Ask to hear the opinions of others. Instead of just caring about what you think, seek out the opinions of others. This will widen your own perspective.

15. Become an organised person (if you aren’t already one). Write things down, use a calendar, and always have a plan. Your children will see your example and become committed to developing organisational skills too. I’ve observed that organised people tend to be far less stressed!

16. Forgive yourself and forgive others. If you’re living with shame or regret, now is the time to forgive yourself. And if you’re holding on to grudges because of what others have done to you, now is the time to forgive them.

17. Be generous with your time and money. Show your children that resources are meant to be given and shared for the benefit of others. The more we give, the more we live.

18. Be grateful. If you find yourself complaining often, decide that from today onwards you’ll cultivate a spirit of gratitude. Over time, your children will become more thankful too!

19. Don’t say negative things about yourself. I know parents who say many negative things about themselves, e.g. “I’m too uneducated to be successful”, “I’m impatient”, “I have a bad temper”. Focus more on opportunities and possibilities instead of your limitations.

20. Follow the rules and obey the law. Do this even if there’s no chance of you being caught for any wrongdoing. By displaying integrity, your children will learn to do the right thing, even if no one is looking.

21. Be dependable. Few people do what they say they’ll do 100% of the time. Become one of those people, and demonstrate to your children how crucial it is to be a trustworthy person. I’ve observed that the more dependable you are, the more likely it is that you’ll be successful.

22. Apologise when you’ve made a mistake. My coaching clients (the majority of whom are pre-teens and teens) frequently tell me that they don’t respect their parents. This is because their parents don’t apologise, even when it’s clear that they’ve made a mistake. Don’t be one of these parents!

23. Celebrate the successes of others. Acknowledge and celebrate the successes that others achieve. This way, your children will understand why they should never be a sore loser.

24. Find meaning in your work. All work (except work that is illegal or unethical) is meaningful. Work isn’t something we have to do; it’s something we get to do in the service of others, while also earning a living. Demonstrate to your children that with the right attitude, work can be enjoyable and fun!

25. Ask for help if you need it. We all come to a place where we need help. If you need assistance or guidance, don’t hesitate to reach out. As the African proverb goes, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”

26. Live within your means. Don’t get so caught up in the pursuit of material gain that you buy things you can’t afford. Living beyond your means will lead to a life of stress and possible ruin.

27. Buy what you need, not what you want. As a follow-up to Point #26, practise asking yourself the question “Do I need this?” instead of the question “Can I afford this?” You might be able to afford something, but if you don’t need it, then you probably shouldn’t buy it.

28. Read for leisure. If you don’t read for leisure, your children are unlikely to read for leisure. Once in a while, share with your children the interesting things you’re learning through the books you’re reading. Your children may become more motivated to work hard in school too!

29. Make an effort to mend broken relationships. As Dr. Scott Sticksel once said, “Life is relationships. The rest is just details.” If your life is full of broken relationships, it’s almost impossible for you to find joy and fulfilment. So if there are broken relationships in your life, take the first step toward resolving the conflict.

30. Be excited and passionate about life. One of my coaching clients recently said to me, “My parents don’t seem excited about anything in life, except eating good food.” This client of mine was troubled by this fact, and he wondered if his life would turn out to be as “sad” as his parents’ lives. I’m not here to judge anyone, but if you want to set a good example for your children, then choose to be passionate about life. Learn a new skill. Show kindness to others. Start a new project. Conquer a fear. Contribute to your community. Get outside your comfort zone. Take just one small step today!

Conclusion

Parents and children

At this point, you might be thinking, “You mean I’m supposed to do all these 30 things to set a good example for my children? I’m not perfect, you know?!”

Of course, you’re not perfect. Neither am I.

But we can always strive to improve, to become better people and better parents who have better parenting skills.

So I encourage you to identify just one or two items from the list that you’d like to work on. Make one small change this week, or even this month.

As John C. Maxwell said, “People may teach what they know, but they reproduce what they are.”

This principle applies to parenting too. As parents, we reproduce in our children the traits we possess.

As such, if we want to raise exemplary children, we need to lead exemplary lives ourselves.

This is a lifelong journey that we get to embark on. So let’s embrace the challenges along the way with hope and excitement!

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22 Study Habits That Guarantee Good Grades

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 18 Comments

Study habits

Were you hoping to get an A for your last test or exam, but your study habits got in the way?

Maybe you got a B, or maybe you did worse than that.

It’s annoying, isn’t it…

You put in all those hours of studying. You even gave up time with your friends.

So what if I could show you a way to work smarter and not harder, so you get good grades and have time for the things you enjoy and find meaningful?

Even better, what if I could guarantee it?

Well, I can.

All you have to do is adopt these 22 study habits.

(Throughout my career as a student I got straight A’s, so I can promise you that these study habits work.)

Want to get the grades you’ve always wanted while also leading a balanced life?

Then let’s get started.

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Enter your email below to download a PDF summary of this article. The PDF contains all the habits found here, plus 5 exclusive bonus habits that you’ll only find in the PDF.

The best study habits

Add these effective study habits to your routine to start getting good grades with a lot less stress.

Habit #1: Create a weekly schedule

When you schedule time for a particular task like studying, you’re saying to yourself, “I’m going to focus on studying at this time, on this date, and it’s going to take this number of hours.”

Once it’s down in writing, it becomes a reality and you’re more likely to stick to it.

This might sound weird, but it’s true.

Do this in your calendar, in a spreadsheet, or download a template – whatever works best for you.

First, think about your fixed commitments like school, sports practice, family time, religious activities and so on.

Now, decide which times around these fixed commitments are the best for you to do your work and revision each week.

Don’t worry about exactly what work you’ll be doing, or what assignments are due. Just focus on blocking out the times.

Your weekly study schedule might look something like this (the blue slots are the times you’ve blocked out to do work):

Weekly schedule

Give yourself a study-free day (or at least half a day) once a week.

Everyone needs a break, so you’re more likely to come back to the work refreshed if you give yourself permission to take some time off.

Habit #2: Create a pre-studying checklist

Have you ever heard your mother say you should never go to the supermarket without a shopping list?

You’ll wander up and down the aisles, wasting time. You’ll make poor choices about what to buy and end up with all the wrong things for dinner.

By using a shopping list, your mind will be focused. You’ll only put items in your shopping trolley that you need, checking them off as you go.

It’s no different from a checklist used by a pilot before he takes off, or a mechanic as he services a car.

Checklists are essential as you learn how to develop good study habits. They ensure that you cover all the necessary steps to achieve an outcome.

Here are some of the things that might be on your pre-studying checklist:

  • Set up workspace
  • Make sure your phone is in another room or turned off
  • Let family members know not to disturb you until the end of the study session
  • Gather together all the notes and reference books needed
  • Get a glass of water
  • Set timer

Keep your checklist handy, and tick everything off at the start of every study session.

Habit #3: Create a study plan

The purpose of a study plan is similar to that of a checklist. It keeps you on track.

When you go camping, you might have a checklist that covers all the equipment you need to pack into the car.

But you also need a road map to show you how to get to the campsite. It allows you to plan your route, and keeps you focused on your destination.

So, at the start of each study session, create a study plan.

For example, today you might need to complete a math assignment and write up the summary notes of chapter 4 of your history textbook.

Write down the key tasks, together with a list of steps you’ll need to take along the way.

To complete your math assignment, you might write:

  • Read notes from math class
  • Read chapter in the textbook on algebraic calculations
  • Do questions 1 to 3

Your study plan will help you concentrate on what you need to get done today, without being distracted by the things that can wait until tomorrow.

Habit #4: Study offline as much as possible

Study offline

When you study, you want to be focused, which means limiting all those annoying interruptions that happen when you’re online.

Switch off your Internet connection and give your brain the peace and quiet it needs to concentrate.

And while you’re at it, try not to use a laptop to take notes.

This may sound like strange advice, but research has shown that taking notes by hand is a much smarter way of learning.

When you write notes by hand, your brain absorbs the meaning of what you’re writing. But when you use a laptop, you’re not processing what you’re learning as deeply.

Habit #5: Take three deep breaths before each study session

What’s the one thing that comes to you so naturally, you don’t even think about it?

Breathing.

We each take about 20,000 breaths a day, so you’d think we’d be pretty good at it. But did you know that there are better ways to breathe than others?

And guess who breathes the best? Babies.

As babies, we all take deep, relaxing breaths. These breaths push the oxygen around our bodies and into our brains, helping us to concentrate better.

But as we get older, we take shorter, faster breaths. As a result, we have trouble staying alert.

There are plenty of ways to breathe more deeply, but here’s one method you can try before you start each study session:

  • Close your eyes and breathe in through your nose for four seconds
  • Exhale through your mouth for four seconds
  • Repeat three times

Tip: Try this just before you go to bed as well. It will help you sleep better.

Habit #6: Learn how to motivate yourself

Do you find that sometimes it’s almost impossible to start studying? In fact, your body feels like a heavy stone as you drag yourself towards your workspace.

Don’t worry. Everyone feels like that from time to time.

You just need to know how to motivate yourself to study, and to do that we’re going to create another list.

This time, write down all the reasons why you want to study hard, such as:

  • I want to do my best
  • I want to become more disciplined
  • I want to prepare well for the future
  • I want to develop perseverance
  • I want to learn as much as I can

Put your list somewhere you can see it. The next time you feel like watching TV instead of studying, go through your list.

You’ll be fired up and ready to get back to your studies in no time!

Habit #7: Take notes during class

Taking notes in class is an important study tip to implement.

Why?

Think about the number of classes you go to every day at school and the mountain of information that gets thrown at you.

You’d never be able to remember everything you learned without taking notes.

Taking notes also helps you to absorb and retain information much better than just listening.

And lastly, think of your class notes as the backbone of your focused study time. They sum up what you’ve learned, and they make your study time more efficient.

(Here are some proven tips on how to take notes effectively.)

Habit #8: Review what you learned in school that day

Review what you learned

Reviewing new information you learned in class is one of the most effective study habits you can develop.

Before the end of each day, read the notes you took or re-read the chapter that your teacher taught in class.

It won’t take long to do, and it will help you retain what you learned. It will also make the process of moving the information from short-term to long-term memory smoother.

Habit #9: Read your notes before you start doing your homework

This is similar to the last study habit we talked about.

The first thing you should do in your study session is to re-read the notes you took in class before you start the homework assignment for that topic.

Don’t forget to include this task in your study plan (see Habit #3).

It will refresh your memory, so you’ll be well prepared to tackle the assignment and you’ll finish your homework faster.

Habit #10: Get at least eight hours of sleep every night

We all know that a good night’s sleep makes us more alert and energised the next day.

But did you know that it also improves your memory and makes you a better student?

You probably think there’s no way a top student could get enough sleep, but you’re wrong. In fact, getting eight hours of sleep before an exam is more effective than staying up late, trying to cram all the information in.

The best way to make sure you get eight hours of good quality sleep is to go to bed at the same time each night. (Set an alarm to remind you, if necessary.)

Read a chapter of a book, but don’t read it on your phone or tablet. This is because the light from such screens makes it difficult for the brain to wind down and inhibits melatonin production.

In addition, turn off phones and other electronic devices that may disturb you during the night.

Habit #11: Create an environment that helps you study

Trying to work in a noisy room, or one with poor lighting, is going to make your study time less effective.

To develop good study habits, take a few minutes to ensure your workspace is conducive to studying.

Here are a few things to think about:

  • Do you have the necessary supplies and stationery within reach?
  • Is the lighting adequate?
  • Make sure your desk is tidy and uncluttered (do this before and after each study session)
  • Is the room at the right temperature?
  • Is your work chair comfortable?
  • Is the room quiet? (Use earplugs if necessary)
  • Is your phone switched off?
  • Delete any apps on your phone that you might be tempted to open when you should be studying
  • Are there any other distractions in the room that might disturb you, like a magazine or the TV? Switch them off or remove them altogether.

Habit #12: Time your study sessions and breaks

Time your study sessions

Do you find it hard to concentrate for more than 45 minutes at a time? That’s perfectly normal.

In fact, I’d recommend that you take a 5-minute break from studying every 30 to 40 minutes.

Don’t fall into the study habit of stretching out your break so it ends up being longer than your study time, though.

When you start a study session, set a timer for 30 to 40 minutes and then take a break. Likewise, set the timer for the end of the break so you know when to get back to work.

Habit #13: When you take a study break, step away from your desk

To develop good study habits, don’t forget to take breaks and use them wisely.

Step away from your desk and do something completely different to give your brain a break, as well as your body. Go for a short walk around the block or get a snack from the kitchen.

I encourage you not to watch a video, turn on the TV or check your social media news feed.

This is because these activities won’t give your brain a proper break.

Habit #14: Make use of the breaks you have during the school day

Do you have a long break in the middle of the school day or after lunch?

Is there something useful you could be doing with this time?

Maybe you could review the notes you took that morning or start preparing your study plan for later in the day.

Another great use of your free time is to seek out a fellow student and talk about what you’ve just learned. This is especially so if you need some clarification, or if you have doubts about something.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions. It’s an excellent way to learn faster and better.

Habit #15: Stay on top of your homework

This may sound like an obvious habit to cultivate as a student, but I’m often surprised by the number of students who let their homework pile up.

If it gets out of hand, just the thought of doing your homework can become overwhelming and stressful.

Before you know it, you’ll find yourself working so hard to catch up, you’ll have no time to study for important tests and exams, which are stressful enough on their own.

One of the most effective study habits to practise is to start your homework on the day it’s assigned.

At the very least, take a look at the questions while the information you learned is still fresh in your mind.

That way, if you have to come back to it later, you’ll have a rough framework as a starting point, making it much easier to complete.

Habit #16: Ask your teachers for help at least once a week

Ask teachers for help

Your teachers are there to help you succeed. Don’t be afraid to reach out to them.

Asking for help is a crucial study habit to cultivate.

Include asking for help in your weekly schedule (see Habit #1) and keep a list of any questions you think of during the week.

Bring the list of questions with you, and don’t let them pile up.

If you let the questions pile up, you may start to feel overwhelmed, and you may become reluctant to seek help.

Habit #17: Use a planner to keep track of assignments and deadlines

If you’re not organised when it comes to things related to school, you’ll waste precious time doing last-minute work you forgot about.

Or you may stay up late to finish an assignment you should have started a week earlier.

Use a planner to keep track of important dates, tasks and deadlines. You can either use a physical diary or an online one like Google Calendar.

The important thing is to keep your planner up to date, so you don’t have to rely on your memory or wait for your teachers to remind you.

Planning and studying effectively will improve your test-taking skills and performance.

Don’t just include the date of a test, for example, when you use your planner. Include a reminder to start revising for the test well in advance.

And review your planner at least once a week. Every Monday, go through all the upcoming deadlines, and prioritise the tasks and projects you’ll need to keep on top of for the week.

Habit #18: Test yourself periodically

Don’t wait for regular tests and exams to come around before you start studying. Set mini-tests for yourself every few weeks.

You may have reviewed your class notes once, but it doesn’t mean the information has been absorbed or effectively memorised for a future exam.

Here’s how to test yourself…

When you review your class notes, highlight some of the key things you’ve learned.

For example, in history it might be the date of an important event. Write down some test questions on a separate sheet of paper as you go, such as “When did the war start?” or “What caused the civil war?”

The next day, pull out the test questions and see how many answers you can remember.

It takes some effort to succeed at a test you give yourself, but that effort will be rewarded when it comes to exam time.

Habit #19: Check your work before you consider it done

When you finish an assignment, don’t consider it done until you’ve double-checked your work for careless mistakes.

Here’s what you should be looking out for:

  • Spelling mistakes
  • Grammar mistakes
  • Poor presentation
  • Have I responded to the question?
  • Have I left out key facts?
  • Have I got the equations correct?

Habit #20: Keep a “worry” list

Keep a "worry" list

It’s common for students to worry about not doing well, but it’s a distracting pastime.

When you worry about something, it can hinder your ability to focus on learning and improving.

That’s why you need to keep a “worry” list.

Strange as it may sound, research has shown that writing down a list of your fears about school can actually improve your grades.

When you write down a list of your worries, it’s as though you’re unloading your anxieties and freeing up your brain to concentrate on learning.

So whenever a worry pops into your mind, write it down and move on.

Habit #21: Use online resources (if your teacher isn’t available)

Your teacher should be the first person you go to with a question or concern about the class material – unless you can easily find the answer on the Internet.

But if your teachers aren’t available when you need something clarified (which often happens in the middle of study time), there are some great online resources you can use.

Here are some of them:

  • Khan Academy
  • SparkNotes
  • BBC Bitesize
  • Mathispower4u

Habit #22: If you struggle with procrastination, use the Pomodoro Technique

Procrastination or a lack of focus is a big problem during study time.

We’ve already talked about the need to take regular breaks (see Habit #13), but there’s another method you might find useful.

It’s called the Pomodoro Technique.

The idea is that you’ll stay on top of your work if you break your study periods up into focused but manageable bursts of 25 minutes.

This is instead of trying to concentrate for two hours or more at a go, which takes a lot of energy and willpower.

The objective is to train your brain to focus on a task that needs to be completed and postpone all distractions until later.

Here’s how it works:

  • Set a timer for 25 minutes
  • Concentrate 100% on studying until the timer rings
  • Take a five-minute break – and remember to step away from your desk
  • Repeat until the end of your study session

Here are some apps you can try:

  • Focus Booster – This is available for desktop and mobile devices. You can download the starter version for free.
  • Pomofocus – This one is free and doesn’t need downloading. Just open it up and start the timer.

Check out this article for even more apps you can use.

Start practising your new study habits

Well done! You’ve read about the 22 study habits that are guaranteed to improve your grades.

(On top of that, here are 8 bad study habits you’ll want to avoid.)

Reading about these habits is a great start. But nothing’s going to change if you just click away from this article.

If you’re wondering how to get good grades, you need to take action – every day, every week, and every month. Start tomorrow with just one new study habit. Make it part of your daily routine.

After a week, pick another one and put it into practice.

Before you know it, you’re going to turn those disappointing B’s and C’s into straight A’s. I guarantee it!

Like this article? Please share it with your friends.

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Enter your email below to download a PDF summary of this article. The PDF contains all the habits found here, plus 5 exclusive bonus habits that you’ll only find in the PDF.

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