Daniel Wong

Equipping Students to Be Successful & Happy

10 Guaranteed Ways to Motivate Your Children to Do Well in School

Updated on May 19, 2019 By 9 Comments

Motivate your children to do well in schoolAre you having trouble motivating your children to study?

It’s a common problem that I see in my coaching work with pre-teens and teens.

In my experience, many parents approach this problem the wrong way.

In this article, I’m going to explain 10 principles for motivating children to do well in school and study hard.

FREE BONUS: Download a PDF summary of this article. The PDF contains all the tips found here, plus 3 exclusive bonus tips that you’ll only find in the PDF.

1. Don’t annoy your children

One of the keys to motivating your children to work hard is not to annoy them.

This may seem odd at first, as we’re used to parents getting annoyed with children, not vice versa.

But relationships are a two-way street, and parents can also annoy children.

If your children are continually upset with you over things you say or do, they will find it hard to listen to you.

You may have some great wisdom to offer them, but your children won’t be receptive to your advice.

Parents often engage in power struggles with their children. For some of us, these are habits we learned from our own childhoods.

But power struggles with your children consume a lot of energy. And that’s energy that could be spent on something more constructive.

Another habit to avoid is making comments that suggest your child isn’t good enough.

This may be something you’re not aware that you do.

It may be very subtle. For example, take the statement: “You’re improving, but I know you can do better.” On the surface, it sounds like encouragement. But you’re actually telling your child that he or she isn’t good enough.

Or take a statement that begins: “When I was your age…” These kinds of statements usually involve a comparison that leaves your children feeling bad. So avoid making these types of comments.

Another trap that parents fall into is comparing their children with someone else’s. Parents often hope that these comparisons will inspire their children to do better.

Unfortunately, these comments have the opposite effect.

“I hear that John got A’s in all his subjects the last term” may seem like an innocent remark. But it’s a comparison that leaves your child feeling worse about himself or herself.

This is not the way to motivate your children.

Sometimes, parents try to motivate their children by giving them lectures. But lectures tend to make children feel powerless and resentful.

Instead of lecturing your children, discuss the issue with them and ask them what they think. This is much more effective than lecturing them.

Why?

Because it gets them involved, and makes them part of the solution.

2. Give your children a sense of control

If you want to motivate your children, they need to feel as if they’re in control of their lives.

Being motivated comes from knowing that you can shape your future through the actions you take today.

But if children feel as if their parents are in complete (or almost complete) control, they will have little motivation.

Some parents hover over their children. They micromanage every last detail of their children’s lives.

The result is that the children never develop a sense that they’re responsible for their education and their lives. [Read more…]

The Ultimate List of 101 Study Tips for Students

April 9, 2019 By 24 Comments

Study tips for students

Have you ever wished you could look inside the minds of straight-A students and find out how they do it?

If so, keep reading.

In this article, I’m going to share with you the study tips that will enable you to succeed academically.

This list of 101 study tips for students is divided into the following categories:

  • Attitude and mindset
  • Learning methods and techniques
  • Habits and commitments
  • Focus
  • Support from others
  • Memory and brain function
  • Structure and routine

Are you ready?

Let’s dive in!

FREE BONUS: Download a step-by-step planning worksheet, which will enable you to implement the tips in this article and get better grades.

Attitude and mindset

1. Don’t say “I have to”, and instead say “I get to”

The words you use when you talk to yourself are important. They shape your attitude.

Saying to yourself: “Today, I have to work on this assignment” will produce feelings of stress and frustration.

Instead, try saying to yourself: “Today, I get to work on this assignment.” Saying this will remind you that education is a privilege.

This simple change in attitude will give you more motivation and focus to get the task done.

2. Take full responsibility for your own learning

When you take responsibility for your learning, you’ll become more proactive.

One way to bring about a change in this area is to ask yourself: “If I’m not responsible for my learning, then who is?”

Asking yourself this question will help you to realise that no one else is responsible for your learning – not your teachers, and not your parents.

3. Do more than what others are willing to do

In academics – as in any other area of human endeavour – the students who excel are the ones who are prepared to go the extra mile.

Instead of doing the bare minimum to meet the requirements, do more than what others are willing to do.

This might mean doing two or three more questions than the ones that your teacher assigned.

It might mean looking up additional resources, or it might mean proofreading your essay one final time.

4. Don’t focus on grades too much

As a student, it’s easy to become fixated on grades.

But remember that grades are just a form of feedback; they aren’t an end in themselves.

Don’t allow a focus on grades to cause you to forget that it’s the process of learning that counts in the long run.

5. View challenges positively

Challenges

When you’re learning something new, you’re likely to feel overwhelmed.

This is why you must develop what Dr Carol Dweck calls a “growth mindset”.

This means that instead of telling yourself that something is “too hard”, you tell yourself that it’s an opportunity to “grow” your brain.

After all, the more challenges you take on, the more you’ll learn.

6. Write down 3 to 5 reasons why you want to do well academically

One key to succeeding as a student is to be clear about why you want to succeed.

As Jim Rohn once said: “If you have enough reasons, you can do the most incredible things.”

Write down 3 to 5 reasons why you want to perform well in school, and read the list daily.

7. Volunteer and serve others regularly

This will remind you that education never occurs in a vacuum. Education is always about learning from others or passing on that knowledge to others.

By volunteering and serving others, you’ll start to see that your life isn’t mainly about you. It’s about using your skills and knowledge to make the world a better place.

In turn, this will give you the willpower to persevere in the midst of obstacles.

8. Regain your focus by asking these two questions…

The first question is: “What’s important now?”

The second question is: “What’s important next?”

A lack of focus is often the result of trying to do too many things at the same time.

When you find yourself unable to focus, these two questions will bring you back to the present.

9. Use systems and routines

Focus on developing systems and routines, instead of continually thinking about what you want to accomplish.

Students who perform well attribute their success not to lofty goals, but to their daily systems and processes.

The problem with focusing too much on goals is that this doesn’t enable you to connect your goals with the effort required.

Success involves committing to a discipline and a routine, even when the going gets tough. [Read more…]

Parents, Stop Telling Your Kids to Study Hard for Their Own Good (And What to Do Instead)

Updated on March 14, 2019 By 25 Comments

Parent and child

Yes, it is for your kids’ own good that they study hard.

But you shouldn’t tell them that.

Why not?

Because if you do, they’ll be less likely to study hard.

(I’ve spoken to and worked with more than 25,000 students, so I say this with confidence.)

In this article, I’ll provide an explanation.

I’ll also share three tips to help your kids develop intrinsic motivation.

BONUS: Is it hard to get through to your child? Download this FREE checklist, 10 Proven Ways to Get Your Teenager to Listen to You.

Don’t expect your kids to get an education in school

This might sound strange, so hear me out.

We live in a world where knowledge abounds.

It’s incredible that most of this knowledge is available for free online – you just have to seek it out.

A couple of decades ago, to get an education you had almost no choice but to attend school.

But today, you can take courses on Khan Academy, Coursera, Udacity, Udemy, and other websites.

If you’re diligent about taking these courses, you’d acquire more skills and knowledge than you would in almost any traditional school.

This means that, over time, the diplomas and degrees that schools give out will matter less.

It also means that students shouldn’t go to school expecting to get an education. Rather, school should form just one part of a student’s education.

In the future, diplomas and degrees won’t be the ticket to a well-paying job and a comfortable life. (This is already starting to be the case.)

But for now, such certificates still matter.

Statistics show that students who perform better in school are more likely to get jobs that pay better.

And students who study hard are obviously more likely to perform well in school.

Which means that if you want to motivate your kids, you should tell them to work hard in school for their own benefit, right?

Wrong.

Allow me to explain.

3 reasons it’s ineffective to tell your kids to study hard for their own good

Reason #1: Students today aren’t hungry for a “better life”

Teenager listening to music

In developed countries today, most children and teenagers have more material things than they need.

More toys than they need.

More shoes than they need.

More clothes than they need.

More electronic devices than they need.

In contrast, one or two generations ago, most people experienced real hardship.

For example, my parents and grandparents grew up with far less (materially speaking) than I did.

From an early age, it was obvious to my parents that if they wanted to have a more comfortable life in the future, they needed to work hard in school.

Their teachers and parents told them that education was the key to success – and in that era, it was true. [Read more…]

10 Ways That Parents Can Help Teens Get Enough Sleep

Updated on November 9, 2018 By 3 Comments

Sleeping teenNote from Daniel: This is a guest post by Sarah Cummings.

Does your teen get enough sleep?

Probably not.

Scientists recommend that teens get more sleep per night than adults, but many of them get less.

In fact, around 85% of teens are sleep deprived.

As parents, we should take this fact seriously, because sleep is important for physical health, brain function and learning.

So here are 10 tips for parents to help teens get a better night’s sleep…

If your teen lacks motivation, download this FREE e-book, 16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager. The e-book has already been downloaded by more than 20,000 happy parents.

1. Respect your teens’ different rhythms

Teens experience a shift in their circadian rhythms, because of a delayed release of melatonin compared to adults.

Because of this shift, they may not get sleepy until later than you do.

Based on their natural circadian rhythm, they might not go to bed until midnight. If they get the full dose of their recommended hours in, this will cause them to sleep in until 9 am or 10 am.

Of course, this sleep schedule doesn’t work during school days. So they’ll need to shift their sleep schedule gradually – which is what we’ll talk about next.

2. Establish a routine

Talk to your teens and create a routine that you’re both agreeable to.

If your teens are sleeping too late on school nights, the changes need to be made little by little.

If they’re used to going to bed at 1 am, they won’t suddenly be able to fall asleep at 9:30 pm.

As such, you can try to shift their bedtime forward gradually, e.g. 10 minutes earlier each day.

Once your teens are going to bed at the ideal time, try to ensure that they stick to this bedtime during the week and on weekends, too (or as close to it as possible).

This way, their sleeping patterns won’t be affected too much.

If your teens don’t sleep enough on weekdays, they’ll accumulate “sleep debt”. This will make them more likely to break out in pimples, since insufficient sleep is linked to acne and other forms of skin irritation.

Furthermore, the more sleep debt they accumulate, the more likely they are to fall victim to a long list of health problems. [Read more…]

How to Beat Exam Stress: 25 Tips Backed by Research

Updated on April 8, 2019 By 33 Comments

Beat exam stress

Does exam stress frequently affect your grades?

If so, you’re in the right place.

In this article, I’ll share with you scientific tips that are proven to help you overcome exam stress.

I guarantee that if you apply the tips, you’ll become a calmer, happier and more successful student.

Let’s get started!

FREE BONUS: Download a PDF summary of this article. The PDF contains all the tips found here, plus 5 exclusive bonus tips that you’ll only find in the PDF.

1. Clear your room and your desk

Have you heard the saying “A cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind”?

It turns out it’s not just something your mother says to get you to clean your room. It’s scientifically correct.[1]

The more clutter you have around your workspace, the less you’re able to concentrate on preparing for the exam. This is because your brain is being bombarded by so many distractions.

Physical clutter overloads your brain and impairs your ability to think, which leads to stress.

So you need to clear your desk and your room. Do the following:

  • Reduce as much clutter as you can around your workspace. Get rid of anything that doesn’t need to be there, e.g. photos, snacks, staplers. Move them out of sight, or out of your room completely.
  • Use drawers. Store things away in your drawers or wardrobe. The only things you should have on your desk are the tools and books you need to complete your current assignment.
  • Clean your space. Now that you’ve cleared your space, give your desk and room a good clean.
  • Straighten up before you go. Take 5 minutes at the end of the day to clear everything away, so you can start again tomorrow with an uncluttered desk and an uncluttered mind.

2. Read something for leisure

It’s proven that reading for pleasure can reduce stress by up to 68%.[2]

Reading relaxes your body by lowering your heart rate and easing the tension in your muscles.

So the next time you feel the tension rise at the thought of an impending exam, pick up a good book and give yourself a 10-minute reading break. [Read more…]

40 Things Children Should Know How to Do Before They Turn 13

Updated on July 21, 2018 By 17 Comments

Happy pre-teens and teensAs a parent, do you sometimes do things for your children that they should do for themselves?

I’m a parent too, so I know this is a trap that’s easy to fall into.

As time goes by, you may even start to think that you need to keep doing these things for your children.

If you don’t, these things won’t get done at all!

Sound familiar?

I’ve spoken to and worked with 25,000 pre-teens and teens so far. It surprises me that most of them haven’t developed the life skills needed to succeed in school and adulthood.

To help parents, I’ve created this list of 40 things that children should know how to do before they turn 13.

(To gain access to 10 more items, download the free bonus below.)

I’ve separated the list into five categories:

  • General life skills and self-management
  • Social/communication skills and relationships
  • Money
  • Home
  • Emotions
FREE BONUS: Download a PDF summary of this article. The PDF contains all the items found here, plus 10 exclusive bonus items that you’ll only find in the PDF.

General life skills and self-management

1. Use a calendar or planner to keep track of important events and dates.

2. Handle their schoolwork, revision, etc. on their own without reminders or nagging.

3. Wake up on their own every morning without relying on their parents.

4. Writing things down and setting reminders to ensure that they don’t forget important information, items, etc.

5. Keep their room, desk, personal belongings, etc. organised.

6. Contact their tutors, teachers, coaches, etc. when necessary instead of relying on their parents to do it on their behalf.

7. Develop a rough daily and weekly schedule.

8. Create a plan to prepare for a test, achieve a goal, complete a project, etc.

9. Prioritise tasks.

10. Pack their bag on their own.

11. Take public transportation. [Read more…]

How to Get Motivated to Study: 23 Tips for Students Who Procrastinate

Updated on May 2, 2019 By 65 Comments

how to get motivated to studyIs it hard for you to get motivated to study?

Let’s face it…

It’s so easy to watch just one more YouTube video, or to scroll through your social media feed just one more time.

But your exams are approaching. They’re getting nearer by the day.

You have a rising sense of panic, but you don’t know where to begin. The more you panic, the harder it is to get to work.

If this is the situation you are in, keep reading.

In this article, I’m going to explain 23 proven strategies that successful students use to motivate themselves to study.

Get ready to say goodbye to procrastination!

FREE BONUS: This article is 3,000 words long, so I’ve created a PDF summary for your convenience. Download it here for free. The PDF contains all the tips found here, plus 7 exclusive bonus tips that you’ll only find in the PDF.

1. Discover why you procrastinate

Procrastination is a complex problem that can have many different causes.

Here are some of the most common:

  • You’ve convinced yourself that your homework is beyond your abilities
  • Putting off your homework is a way of rebelling against your parents or teachers
  • You’ve decided the topic is boring
  • You’re waiting for the “perfect” time to start
  • The task has become so overwhelming that you don’t know where to start

Understanding why you procrastinate is a key first step to getting motivated.

Spend some time reflecting on what makes you procrastinate. This will enable you to identify which of the following tips will help you the most.

2. Break the material down into chunks

A major cause of procrastination is that the task ahead seems overwhelming.

That’s when you need to “chunk down”.

Break down each task into small chunks.

Assign yourself a certain number of those chunks each day. Suddenly, you’re no longer faced with a scary task, but rather a series of manageable chunks.

A chunk might be reading three pages of your textbook, completing five multiple-choice questions, or finding three reference articles on the Internet for your paper.

3. Reward yourself

Every time you complete one or two chunks, reward yourself with a short period of relaxation.

It could be five minutes on your favourite smartphone game, a short walk, or playing the guitar.

Rewarding yourself with short and enjoyable breaks is a key part of the “chunking down” technique. [Read more…]