Communication Skills for Teens: 7 Skills Every Teen Should Develop

Are you often misunderstood?

Or do you argue a lot with your friends and family?

Maybe you have a hard time conveying your feelings and opinions. And when you try to, no one seems to listen.

Communication is a key life skill for teenagers. But through my many years of coaching teens, I’ve realized that this is an area many struggle with.

This could be due to the changes that occur in the brain during the teenage years. These changes can contribute to unpredictable emotions, which affect your interactions with others.

Of course, taking responsibility for your words and actions is always important. But the earlier you learn to communicate and handle big feelings, the more likely you are to have healthy and happy relationships.

In this article, I’ll discuss some techniques you can learn to build your communication skills.

(Don’t forget to download your free quick action guide below.)

Benefits of good communication skills

When you learn to communicate well, you can talk about your thoughts, feelings, and needs respectfully. It also helps the other person to be more open and receptive to what you have to say.

The benefits of having good communication skills include being able to:

• Collaborate effectively. Maybe you’re working on a group project or collaborating with colleagues. In these instances, your communication skills will help you and your peers to be more efficient and productive.
• Prevent misunderstandings. Good communication makes understanding what someone else is trying to say easier. It also prevents the other person from misjudging or misinterpreting your words.
• Handle and resolve conflicts. You’ll be able to talk about problems in an honest, calm, and respectful way. This allows both parties to focus on finding a solution instead of getting frustrated with each other.
• Establish trust. Great communication lets other people know you want to understand their opinions, ideas, and feelings. By making them feel heard, you’ll create a safe environment for them to be honest and to open up.
• Build empathy. As you learn to listen actively, you’ll understand other people’s points of view better. This will help you to build a deeper sense of empathy for those around you.

Communicating well enables you to form healthy relationships at home, school, and work. As a result, you’ll enjoy more happiness and fulfillment in your relationships.

7 important communication skills for teenagers to learn

Sometimes, we might not be aware that how we interact with others is hurtful to them or even ourselves.

For example, you might suppress your feelings and opinions because you’re afraid of upsetting someone else.

Or maybe you’re used to shouting to get your point across.

These habits might be difficult to change at first. But with patience and practice, you’ll be able to learn to communicate in a healthy way.

Here are the skills to develop if you want to improve how you communicate.

Skill #1: Listening actively

Communicating well is about more than just talking.

You’ll only be able to give the most suitable response when you hear the other person’s side of the story.

This is why it’s important to listen actively when someone else speaks. It’ll also make the other party feel heard and respected.

Here are some tips to keep in mind:

• Have the right intentions. When you listen, do so to understand where the other person is coming from. Don’t do it to argue back or dismiss the points that have been raised.
• Listen without interrupting. Don’t speak over others, even if you feel angry or misunderstood. This makes it seem like you don’t care about what they have to say.
• Put away distractions. When someone is speaking to you, it’s important to show that you’re paying attention. For instance, put your phone away and focus only on the conversation at hand.

Be fully present and focused on the conversation. And instead of jumping to conclusions, ask questions to prevent confusion and misunderstandings.

Skill #2: Choosing the right communication channel

Have you ever sent a quick, neutral text only for it to be perceived as passive-aggressive?

Maybe you’ve spent hours texting back and forth to resolve an issue that should have been discussed face-to-face.

Choosing the right method to get your message across can be tricky.

In general, consider these factors when deciding how to communicate with someone:

• Closeness of the relationship. How well do you know the other person? A text message might be better if he or she is an acquaintance. You may have additional options to consider for someone you’re closer to, like a phone call or meeting in person.
• Sensitivity of the issue. Are you talking about a private or sensitive issue? If so, a phone call or in-person meeting might be better. Emails and texts can be easily misinterpreted without hearing the person’s tone of voice or seeing nonverbal cues.
• How much information there is to share. Text messages are great for short or casual conversations. On the other hand, phone calls and in-person conversations are better for discussing more complicated issues.
• Urgency of the issue. If the issue is urgent, you’ll get your message across faster through a phone call or in-person conversation rather than an email or text.

By choosing the right communication channel, there will be less room for misunderstandings.

Skill #3: Being clear, direct, and concise

Have you ever listened to someone talk and had no clue what they were trying to say?

This is why it’s essential to be clear and direct.

You might not be comfortable talking about certain issues. But beating around the bush or bottling up your feelings will affect the relationship in the long run.

Of course, you should always be respectful with your choice of words and tone. Instead of saying, “You’re ridiculous,” you could try saying, “I’m frustrated because you didn’t keep your promise.”

You can also plan what you want to say before the conversation. If it’s a serious issue, take some time to think about how you can calmly discuss it.

Plan what the purpose of the discussion will be. What are you upset about? What solutions will you propose? Once you’ve thought things out, you can talk about the problem.

Then you can listen to the other party’s point of view. Being clear and concise prevents the listener from getting confused while you’re talking.

Skill #4: Being aware of your body language

Your body language can tell the other person if you’re listening and truly care. Some of these positive cues include:

• Maintaining eye contact
• Nodding occasionally
• Smiling
• Displaying an “open” posture

Even the distance between you and the other person can make a difference. For instance, standing too close to someone while you’re talking to them might make them feel uncomfortable.

Skill #5: Keeping your emotions in check

Big and intense feelings aren’t bad.

It’s perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed or frustrated from time to time. But our emotions shouldn’t drive us to say mean or unhelpful things.

Instead of suppressing your feelings or letting them get out of control, here’s what you can try instead:

• Practice being aware of your emotions. When you start to get angry, pause and take a deep breath. If necessary, excuse yourself from the conversation so you have some time to think.
• Learn how to name your emotions. Is it disappointment, anger, or jealousy? You could be experiencing more than one type of emotion at the moment. As you name your emotions, try to identify the reasons behind them.
• Accept your emotions, but don’t let them control you. You don’t have to feel bad for having intense emotions. What matters is what you do with them.
• Figure out healthy ways to cope with your emotions. For example, journaling or going for a quick run can help you process your feelings and think more clearly.

Learning to be the master of your emotions helps you make good decisions in terms of what to say.

Skill #6: Understanding how to handle conflict

Conflicts are a normal part of relationships, so shying away from them won’t help.

Conflict resolution is an important skill that can be learned and practiced. Here are some tips to help you handle conflicts:

• Use more “I” statements instead of “you” statements. For example, you can say, “I feel unimportant when you show up late,” instead of, “You’re so irresponsible for being late.” “I” statements help the other person understand your emotions without feeling the need to defend themselves.
• Empathize with the other person. Ask them how they feel. Listen attentively to their response and try to understand where they’re coming from instead of jumping to conclusions.
• Don’t bring up the past. Bringing up things from the past won’t help to solve the problem. It will likely just make you and the other person more frustrated. So ensure that your conversation focuses on the current issue.

Most importantly, pick your battles wisely. Conflicts are emotionally exhausting. So knowing when to disengage and move on from the conversation is essential.

Skill #7: Controlling your tone and volume

Your tone of voice is as powerful as your words. Speaking loudly and using an impatient, dismissive, or sarcastic tone can lead to conflicts or worsen current ones.

When you’re in a conversation, try to be aware of the tone and volume of your voice. Shouting or talking with a rude tone can become a bad habit that we get accustomed to if we don’t practice self-awareness.

Maybe you know you struggle to use a calm and respectful tone when you’re frustrated or stressed. If so, make it a point to excuse yourself from the conversation to cool down first before restarting it later.

Conclusion

It takes a lot of practice to communicate well. So don’t be discouraged if you don’t always get it right.

What’s most important is the willingness to own up to your mistakes and learn from them.

As you become a better communicator, you’ll be able to have fruitful and meaningful conversations with those around you!

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