How much social media is too much for your teen?
How can you spot an addiction in your teen?
When almost everyone uses social media apps, you can’t blame your teenagers for doing the same.
But you might be concerned that your teens spend too much time on social media. Maybe they’re prioritizing it over in-person relationships or schoolwork.
As parents, you want to give your teens the freedom to connect online.
But you also hope to encourage them to focus on the most important things in life.
So the question is this: Where do you draw the line between normal and excessive?
In this article, I’ll discuss some of the most common signs of social media addiction in teens. I’ll also explore how to detect and address your teen’s unhealthy attachment to social media.
(And if your teens lack motivation, download your free e-book below.)
Why is social media addictive?
Why are teens so addicted to social media?
They’re not entirely at fault.
Social media platforms are designed to hook users for as long as possible. That’s because they profit from users viewing content and ads.
These social networking sites have features that encourage users to stay on the platform longer and return more often.
The following are some reasons why social media can be addictive for teens.
Reason #1: Teenagers’ need to fit in
The teenage brain experiences great satisfaction when connecting with others. Even revealing personal details like their name or age can have an impact on their brains, which is perceived as a reward.
Interactions on these platforms, such as gaining likes and followers, increase levels of dopamine. This is also known as the “feel-good” hormone.
A like, share, or follow also creates the impression that your teens are gaining approval from their peers.
All this means that social media use is tied to feelings of pleasure and excitement that draw your teenagers back for more.
Reason #2: Personalized content
Social media platforms are also engineered to create a flow-like state.
For instance, TikTok is popular because of its For You Page. This endless scroll feature allows users to view short-form videos curated based on their likes and interests.
Viewing, liking, and commenting on these short-form videos can induce a flow state. This might distort your teenagers’ sense of time, causing them to use the app for longer than intended.
Instagram is another platform that uses the same tactics in the Reels feature of the app.
Reason #3: Constant notifications
Many social media apps will send notifications to their users whenever they receive a like or when there’s some kind of interaction.
The anticipation and excitement of receiving these notifications can be addictive.
Plus, when your teens get these notifications, they’ll feel a strong urge to open the app, drawing them back onto the platform.
Reason #4: Opportunities for self-expression
During adolescence, teenagers are developing their own identities. This process enables them to establish their own belief systems, values, and personal ethics.
Social media allows them to experiment with and explore different identities. Teenagers may also use social media to express their personality and interests.
Because of this, teens might spend a lot of time on social media.
When does social media use become an addiction?
Social media isn’t all bad. Your teenagers might use these social networking sites to seek support and connect with people they can relate to.
But this doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re addicted.
They might still be doing well in school, going out with friends, and helping out around the house. If so, labeling their social media usage as an addiction might be a stretch.
So when does social media become a harmful addiction?
When your teens’ mental health and school-life balance are impacted by social media, it can be considered a harmful addiction.
Research has found that excessive social media use can increase the risk of depression, anxiety, stress, and low self-esteem. If your teens struggle with an addiction, they might have body image issues and often compare themselves to others on social media.
Studies have also shown that social media can affect academic performance. This explains why you may have noticed a drop in your teenagers’ grades or them falling behind on their schoolwork.
Causes of social media addiction
Around 90% of teens aged 13-17 have used social media, and about 75% report being active on it.
While the majority of teens use social media, some are more likely to be addicted to it compared to others.
The following factors may increase your teen’s risk of an unhealthy attachment to these platforms:
- Low self-esteem: Teens with a poorer self-image are more likely to use social media for social support and acceptance. “Harvesting” likes and followers might help to boost their self-esteem temporarily.
- Social anxiety: Teenagers with social anxiety typically avoid face-to-face conversations. They might perceive social media as an easier way to build friendships.
- Depression: Teenagers who don’t get the emotional support they need might turn to social media to cope with depression.
- Loneliness: Connecting with people online may be a way to remedy loneliness. Teens might turn to social media to compensate for a lack of genuine in-person friendships or relationships.
- Stress: The more stressed a person is, the more likely he or she is to develop a social media addiction. These platforms can become a means of escaping from reality.
- Fear of missing out: Your teens might fear losing their popularity, being left out of inside jokes or conversations, etc. This fear triggers the urge to be on social media and to constantly check their notifications.
- Peer pressure: Your teens’ peers may regularly be on social networking platforms. This could pressure them to do the same in order to fit in.
Signs of social media addiction in teens
If you’re concerned that your teens might be addicted to social media, keep an eye out for the following signs:
- Taking photos, dressing a certain way, or purchasing expensive items to keep up their online image
- Becoming angry or sad if they don’t get “enough” likes or followers
- Refusing to go out with friends or family so they can spend more time on social networking sites
- Becoming sleep-deprived because they get up in the middle of the night to use social media
- Over-sharing details about their personal lives with people they’ve just met online
- Getting extremely upset or throwing tantrums if you set limits or confront them
- Being distracted by their phones when you spend time with them
- Neglecting their assignments and exams due to social media usage
- Comparing their body or lifestyle to others on social media
- Lying about or trying to hide the extent of their social media usage
- Feeling guilty if they don’t reply to a message immediately
- Refusing or being unable to put their devices away
- Stalking other people on social media
Apart from those signs, social media addiction may sometimes lead to physical symptoms such as:
- Back pain
- Neck pain
- Eye strain
Social media withdrawal happens when someone with a strong attachment to social media stops using it suddenly. This could lead to intense cravings to use social media, boredom, or fluctuations in mood.
How to address social media addiction
One thing I’ve learned in my years of coaching teens is this: Harsh parenting leads to conflict, bitterness, and resentment.
This is why threatening your teens or yelling at them to quit social media will backfire.
Without proper guidance, your teenagers will likely fall back into their old habits and find ways to hide them from you.
Here are some tips you can use instead to address your teen’s social media addiction:
Tip #1: Discuss social media usage
Find a time to talk to your teens about the pros and cons of social media.
This is also a great time to remind them that what they see on social media isn’t always realistic. Let them know that they shouldn’t have to dress, talk, or look a certain way to be accepted.
Make sure your communication with your teens is a two-way street.
You can ask them why they feel compelled to be on social media. Listen attentively to their response without interrupting them.
This way, you’ll learn more about the underlying issues fueling this addiction.
Tip #2: Set rules and boundaries related to your teens’ social media usage
Work with your teens to create rules and boundaries.
The following are some examples of rules and boundaries that you and your teens might discuss:
- Have a time limit for social media usage. You can get your teens to install apps that prevent access to these platforms once their time is up.
- Agree on times when social media usage is not allowed. For instance, your teens might not be allowed to use their phones an hour before bedtime.
- Agree on what they can and cannot share online. Let them know what’s appropriate and what isn’t, and remind them that what goes online may stay online forever.
- Establish priorities. For example, you might have a house rule that social media use is only permitted once they’ve finished their schoolwork and daily chores.
Tip #3: Schedule daily and weekly device-free times
Having rules that the entire family follows can help to encourage your teens to stick to them.
You can have house rules that dictate when everyone should put away their phones, e.g., during family gatherings and dinners.
You can also plan weekend trips, getaways, or activities with the family to encourage everyone to put away their phones.
You could consider pursuing a new hobby or learning a new skill, sport, or language together with your teenagers to keep them occupied.
Tip #4: Be a role model
As a parent, you might not fully understand the allure of social media. But other things can keep you glued to your phone.
Your teenagers are observing and learning from your behavior. If you’re setting rules for them that you don’t follow, they might call you out for being hypocritical.
So start by setting a good example for your teens. Spend meaningful time with your teenagers, and be sure to put your devices away when you’re with them.
Tip #5: Be there for your teens
Many teenagers turn to social media to remedy feelings of loneliness or stress.
While you might not be able to relate to your teen’s struggles all the time, you can still make yourself available whenever he or she needs support.
Listen attentively to your teens’ problems without judging them. Ask them if you can do anything to help them through the situation.
This way, your teens will be less likely to rely on social media to cope with the underlying issues.
When you create rules related to your teens’ social media use, be consistent. You can discuss these rules with your teens and set consequences for breaking the rules.
You should also keep an eye on your teenagers’ mental and emotional well-being.
Your teens could be experiencing depression, anxiety, or body image issues due to an addiction to social media.
In such a case, it would be best to seek the help of a professional, like a coach or therapist.
(If you haven’t already downloaded your free e-book below, do it right away.)