Emotions Archives - Daniel Wong

Words of Encouragement for Teens: 35 Quotes to Keep Your Teens’ Spirits Up

December 11, 2024 By Daniel Wong 4 Comments

Do you have a hard time knowing what to say when your teen is feeling down or frustrated?

As parents, finding the right words to say to your teens during such times can be tricky. After all, our teenage years might feel like a distant memory, so putting ourselves in their shoes can be challenging.

To help you out, I’ve compiled some of the best encouraging quotes for teens to help get them back on their feet.

These positive affirmations can lift your teens in tough times, especially if you don’t share them with your teens in the form of a lecture.

While your words matter, what carries just as much weight is you living them out in your daily life. When they aren’t backed by your actions, they’re much more likely to fall on deaf ears.

For example, do you encourage your teens to always look on the bright side but become pessimistic yourself when something goes wrong?

It’s definitely easier said than done. But when you truly walk the talk, your words of encouragement will have a much greater impact.

By modeling them, these quotes can be caught by your teens, instead of taught to them.

So read on to explore the inspiring quotes you and your teens can apply immediately.

(If your teens sometimes lack motivation, make sure to download your free e-book below.)

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16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.

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Table of Contents:

Self-confidence and self-worth
Resilience and growth
Positivity and mental well-being
Kindness and relationships
Courage and purpose

Self-confidence and self-worth

Research shows that a teen’s family environment plays a massive role in the development of self-esteem. A warm and supportive home is much more likely to help teens improve their confidence and well-being.

By creating a loving environment through your words and actions, your teens will gain the confidence to develop their own identity.

Here are some quotes that can help your teens build a positive self-image.

1. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

Teenagers often base their self-image on what their peers and friends think of them. Though difficult, this quote can help your teenagers understand that no one should have the power to define their potential or worth.

2. “Believe you can, and you’re halfway there.” — Theodore Roosevelt

It can be hard to believe you can accomplish many things as a young person. This quote reminds your teens about their true capabilities and encourages them to take that first step to pursue their goals and dreams.

3. “We must not allow other people’s limited perceptions to define us.” — Virginia Satir

Teenagers are strongly affected by what others think or say about them. It helps to remind your teens that people only see a tiny part of their lives, so others should not and cannot define their identity or capabilities.

4. “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Because of social media, many teenagers believe they must dress, act, or talk a certain way to fit in. Let your teens know that pretending to be someone they’re not is exhausting. Doing this also robs them of the opportunity to explore their own interests and ambitions.

5. “Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.” — Samuel Johnson

You can encourage your teens to develop more confidence in learning and trying new things. Taking that leap of faith opens the door to many more opportunities to reach new milestones in their academics, sports, or hobbies.

6. “The more you like yourself, the less you are like anyone else, which makes you unique.” — Walt Disney

Even as adults, it can be daunting to be unapologetically yourself. This quote can help create a safe space for your teens to explore their unique interests, hobbies, and passions without fear of judgment.

7. “You are enough just as you are.” — Meghan Markle

Having great goals is good, but it can be disappointing when you don’t achieve them. Let your teens know that their worth isn’t defined by their grades, accomplishments, or material possessions.

Resilience and growth

Adolescence comes with its own set of challenges and disappointments.

Research suggests that teenagers often worry about their academics and school grades. Another common concern they share is their relationships with their peers.

Your support can go a long way in helping your teens navigate the ups and downs they face. Here are some quotes you can use to keep your teenagers motivated.

8. “The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” — Nelson Mandela

Teenagers might fear stepping outside their comfort zone and trying new things. Help them build a growth mindset by framing failure as an opportunity to learn and improve.

9. “Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths.” — Arnold Schwarzenegger

Your teens have probably heard the saying, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” This is a less clichéd way to discuss the importance of facing and overcoming challenges — instead of avoiding them — to grow as a person.

10. “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sometimes, it can be helpful to remind teenagers that life is full of ups and downs. The valley lows they have faced and will face will not define them. Rather, it is their inner qualities and character that are most important.

11. “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” — Charles R. Swindoll

Help your teens understand that life can sometimes be unfair and difficult. While we cannot control many things, we can change how we respond to the various situations we encounter in life.

12. “Do not judge me by my success. Judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.” — Nelson Mandela

Another way to nurture a growth mindset in teens is to remind them to focus on the process rather than the outcome. This quote emphasizes the journey and the lessons learned along the way instead of whether or not the desired outcomes were reached.

13. “We grow through what we go through.” — Anonymous

Help your teens understand that challenges allow them to develop their character and build resilience.

14. “Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.” — Napoleon Hill

Let your teens know that the difficulties they face can lead to growth and learning that would otherwise not be possible.

Positivity and mental well-being

“Just stay positive.”

While this phrase is often said with the best intentions, it isn’t actually an effective way to raise your teen’s spirits.

Instead, here are some other quotes you can use to encourage them to be hopeful in difficult times.

15. “Keep your face always toward the sunshine—and shadows will fall behind you.” — Walt Whitman

This quote talks about maintaining a positive and hopeful spirit by focusing on the good rather than the bad. Of course, this does not mean we shouldn’t acknowledge that “shadows” exist. It’s still important to validate your teen’s challenges and the emotions that come with them. At the same time, reminding your teens to focus on the positives can help fuel their hope.

16. “If you are always trying to be normal, you’ll never know how amazing you can be.” — Maya Angelou

Focusing on being like everyone else can dim your teen’s true potential. Let him or her know that everyone has their own unique strengths and ambitions to explore and discover.

17. “You cannot have a positive life and a negative mind.” — Joyce Meyer

This quote helps your teen understand that his or her mindset holds much power in determining how life will turn out. Having a hopeful view in life encourages teens to take healthy risks, embrace failure, and try new things.

18. “Your mind is a powerful thing. When you fill it with positive thoughts, your life will start to change.” — Anonymous

This is another great quote to remind teenagers that their mindset can shape their actions, decisions, behavior, and lives.

19. “The only way to do great work is to love what you do.” — Steve Jobs

Your mindset towards your tasks and responsibilities will influence the results you achieve. Teaching your teens how to nurture an interest and love for the things they do can motivate them to always give it their best shot.

20. “Mental health is not a destination but a process. It’s about how you drive, not where you’re going.” — Noam Shpancer

Acknowledge that maintaining mental health is a process that takes time, practice, and adaptation. To model this, guide your teens in building small yet powerful habits, like self-care and rest, to improve their mental well-being.

Kindness and relationships

One of the most important values to teach teenagers is kindness.

It’s a powerful virtue that lays the foundation for your teen to build genuine relationships with others.

21. “No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” — Aesop

This quote emphasizes the power of small yet thoughtful gestures. Help your teen understand that kindness doesn’t always have to be extravagant. It can be as simple as greeting a server with a smile or sharing snacks with a classmate who didn’t bring a meal.

22. “In a world where you can be anything, be kind.” — Jennifer Dukes Lee

When it’s easy to be selfish, teach your teens that they can always choose to be kind.

23. “Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” — Mark Twain

This quote describes kindness as a powerful substance that transcends all physical limitations. It’s also universally understood. This is a great way to remind your teenagers that they can be kind to just about anyone.

24. “Everybody can be great because everybody can serve.” — Martin Luther King, Jr.

One of the best ways to lead a meaningful and fulfilling life is to help those who need it. You can encourage your teens to take part in volunteer and community work, empowering them to look beyond their needs to those of others.

25. “Peace begins with a smile.” — Mother Teresa

Harmony is built upon the simplest acts of kindness, like a smile. Teach your teens that they can be kind and loving through simple gestures.

26. “My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.” — Henry Ford

This quote teaches your teens the importance of being an encouraging and supportive friend.

27. “The only way to have a friend is to be one.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

It’s important to remind your teens that if they want to build genuine friendships, they must first carry the qualities of a good friend. These include kindness, understanding, loyalty, and support.

28. “We rise by lifting others.” — Robert Ingersoll

Encourage your teens to support and celebrate other people’s achievements. It’s easy to be trapped in the cycle of competition, comparison, and envy. So they need to be reminded that cheering others on ultimately leads to their growth and happiness.

Courage and purpose

At a teen’s stage of life, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and to be afraid of taking risks.

Building up courage in your teens will take time, persistence, and a lot of encouragement. Here are some quotes that can help.

29. “Courage is not the absence of fear but the triumph over it.” — Nelson Mandela

It’s comforting to know that true courage does not mean never feeling afraid or anxious. Rather, it’s about facing your fears, stepping outside your comfort zone, and trying new things to reach your goals.

30. “It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” — E.E. Cummings

Embracing the person you truly are takes a lot of bravery in a world that wants you to conform to certain expectations and standards.

31. “The purpose of life is a life of purpose.” — Robert Byrne

This quote helps your teens understand that a fulfilling life is one filled with purpose. There are different ways to guide your teens in finding this purpose. For example, you can encourage them to read and reflect, learn new skills, start a charity or business, or do community work.

32. “Success is not final; failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.” — Winston Churchill

Both success and failure are temporary. Teach your teens that they should celebrate their achievements but not become complacent. At the same time, they can acknowledge their disappointment but not give up on their goals. What matters at the end of the day is how they continue their journey.

33. “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” — Steve Jobs

It’s hard for teenagers to imagine that life doesn’t last forever. Understanding that life is unpredictable can motivate your teens to boldly pursue their dreams and goals.

34. “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

Having faith in your vision and aspirations can change the course of your life. Help your teens believe in the value and potential of their goals. This will motivate them to take the steps and face the challenges they need to reach their goals.

35. “It is never too late to be what you might have been.” — George Eliot

Let your teens know that no matter their past decisions or mistakes, it is never too late for them to pursue a different goal or become who they want to be.

Conclusion

Communicating with teens and knowing how to use your words effectively with them is a journey that’s never too late to begin.

By sharing these quotes with your teens – making sure not to do it in a naggy or preachy way – you can nurture resilience, hope, courage, and empathy in them.

Most importantly, remember that your actions amplify your words.

Your teens are keen observers and will quickly model their habits and behavior after yours. When your actions align with your words, you build trust with them, making your guidance all the more impactful!

(If you haven’t already downloaded your free e-book, get it below.)

FREE E-BOOK:

Get your FREE copy of

16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.

The e-book has already been downloaded by many thousands of parents, so don't miss out!

Social Media Addiction and Your Teen: What Can Parents Do?

Updated on November 21, 2024 By Daniel Wong 4 Comments

How much social media is too much for your teen?

How can you spot an addiction in your teen?

When almost everyone uses social media apps, you can’t blame your teenagers for doing the same.

But you might be concerned that your teens spend too much time on social media. Maybe they’re prioritizing it over in-person relationships or schoolwork.

As parents, you want to give your teens the freedom to connect online.

But you also hope to encourage them to focus on the most important things in life.

So the question is this: Where do you draw the line between normal and excessive?

In this article, I’ll discuss some of the most common signs of social media addiction in teens. I’ll also explore how to detect and address your teen’s unhealthy attachment to social media.

(And if your teens lack motivation, download your free e-book below.)

FREE E-BOOK:

Get your FREE copy of

16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.

The e-book has already been downloaded by many thousands of parents, so don't miss out!

Why is social media addictive?

Why are teens so addicted to social media?

They’re not entirely at fault.

Social media platforms are designed to hook users for as long as possible. That’s because they profit from users viewing content and ads.

These social networking sites have features that encourage users to stay on the platform longer and return more often.

The following are some reasons why social media can be addictive for teens.

Reason #1: Teenagers’ need to fit in

Your teens are naturally wired to crave social connections during their adolescent years. This need to fit in can fuel social media addiction.

The teenage brain experiences great satisfaction when connecting with others. Even revealing personal details like their name or age can have an impact on their brains, which is perceived as a reward.

Interactions on these platforms, such as gaining likes and followers, increase levels of dopamine. This is also known as the “feel-good” hormone.

A like, share, or follow also creates the impression that your teens are gaining approval from their peers.

All this means that social media use is tied to feelings of pleasure and excitement that draw your teenagers back for more.

Reason #2: Personalized content

Social media platforms are also engineered to create a flow-like state.

For instance, TikTok is popular because of its For You Page. This endless scroll feature allows users to view short-form videos curated based on their likes and interests.

Viewing, liking, and commenting on these short-form videos can induce a flow state. This might distort your teenagers’ sense of time, causing them to use the app for longer than intended.

Instagram is another platform that uses the same tactics in the Reels feature of the app.

Reason #3: Constant notifications

Many social media apps will send notifications to their users whenever they receive a like or when there’s some kind of interaction.

The anticipation and excitement of receiving these notifications can be addictive.

Plus, when your teens get these notifications, they’ll feel a strong urge to open the app, drawing them back onto the platform.

Reason #4: Opportunities for self-expression

During adolescence, teenagers are developing their own identities. This process enables them to establish their own belief systems, values, and personal ethics.

Social media allows them to experiment with and explore different identities. Teenagers may also use social media to express their personality and interests.

Because of this, teens might spend a lot of time on social media.

When does social media use become an addiction?

Social media isn’t all bad. Your teenagers might use these social networking sites to seek support and connect with people they can relate to.

Of course, using social media might affect their time management as a student and lead to them procrastinating on schoolwork.

But this doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re addicted.

They might still be doing well in school, going out with friends, and helping out around the house. If so, labeling their social media usage as an addiction might be a stretch.

So when does social media become a harmful addiction?

When your teens’ mental health and school-life balance are impacted by social media, it can be considered a harmful addiction.

Research has found that excessive social media use can increase the risk of depression, anxiety, stress, and low self-esteem. If your teens struggle with an addiction, they might have body image issues and often compare themselves to others on social media.

Studies have also shown that social media can affect academic performance. This explains why you may have noticed a drop in your teenagers’ grades or them falling behind on their schoolwork.

Causes of social media addiction

Around 90% of teens aged 13-17 have used social media, and about 75% report being active on it.

While the majority of teens use social media, some are more likely to be addicted to it compared to others.

The following factors may increase your teen’s risk of an unhealthy attachment to these platforms:

Low self-esteem: Teens with a poorer self-image are more likely to use social media for social support and acceptance. “Harvesting” likes and followers might help to boost their self-esteem temporarily.
Social anxiety: Teenagers with social anxiety typically avoid face-to-face conversations. They might perceive social media as an easier way to build friendships.
Depression: Teenagers who don’t get the emotional support they need might turn to social media to cope with depression.
Loneliness: Connecting with people online may be a way to remedy loneliness. Teens might turn to social media to compensate for a lack of genuine in-person friendships or relationships.
Stress: The more stressed a person is, the more likely he or she is to develop a social media addiction. These platforms can become a means of escaping from reality.
Fear of missing out: Your teens might fear losing their popularity, being left out of inside jokes or conversations, etc. This fear triggers the urge to be on social media and to constantly check their notifications.
Peer pressure: Your teens’ peers may regularly be on social networking platforms. This could pressure them to do the same in order to fit in.

Signs of social media addiction in teens

If you’re concerned that your teens might be addicted to social media, keep an eye out for the following signs:

Taking photos, dressing a certain way, or purchasing expensive items to keep up their online image
Becoming angry or sad if they don’t get “enough” likes or followers
Refusing to go out with friends or family so they can spend more time on social networking sites
Becoming sleep-deprived because they get up in the middle of the night to use social media
Over-sharing details about their personal lives with people they’ve just met online
Getting extremely upset or throwing tantrums if you set limits or confront them
Being distracted by their phones when you spend time with them
Neglecting their assignments and exams due to social media usage
Comparing their body or lifestyle to others on social media
Lying about or trying to hide the extent of their social media usage
Feeling guilty if they don’t reply to a message immediately
Refusing or being unable to put their devices away
Stalking other people on social media

Apart from those signs, social media addiction may sometimes lead to physical symptoms such as:

Fatigue
Back pain
Neck pain
Headaches
Eye strain

Social media withdrawal happens when someone with a strong attachment to social media stops using it suddenly. This could lead to intense cravings to use social media, boredom, or fluctuations in mood.

How to address social media addiction

One thing I’ve learned in my years of coaching teens is this: Harsh parenting leads to conflict, bitterness, and resentment.

This is why threatening your teens or yelling at them to quit social media will backfire.

Without proper guidance, your teenagers will likely fall back into their old habits and find ways to hide them from you.

Here are some tips you can use instead to address your teen’s social media addiction:

Tip #1: Discuss social media usage

Find a time to talk to your teens about the pros and cons of social media.

This is also a great time to remind them that what they see on social media isn’t always realistic. Let them know that they shouldn’t have to dress, talk, or look a certain way to be accepted.

Make sure your communication with your teens is a two-way street.

You can ask them why they feel compelled to be on social media. Listen attentively to their response without interrupting them.

This way, you’ll learn more about the underlying issues fueling this addiction.

Tip #2: Set rules and boundaries related to your teens’ social media usage

Work with your teens to create rules and boundaries.

The following are some examples of rules and boundaries that you and your teens might discuss:

Have a time limit for social media usage. You can get your teens to install apps that prevent access to these platforms once their time is up.
Agree on times when social media usage is not allowed. For instance, your teens might not be allowed to use their phones an hour before bedtime.
Agree on what they can and cannot share online. Let them know what’s appropriate and what isn’t, and remind them that what goes online may stay online forever.
Establish priorities. For example, you might have a house rule that social media use is only permitted once they’ve finished their schoolwork and daily chores.

Tip #3: Schedule daily and weekly device-free times

Having rules that the entire family follows can help to encourage your teens to stick to them.

You can have house rules that dictate when everyone should put away their phones, e.g., during family gatherings and dinners.

You can also plan weekend trips, getaways, or activities with the family to encourage everyone to put away their phones.

You could consider pursuing a new hobby or learning a new skill, sport, or language together with your teenagers to keep them occupied.

Tip #4: Be a role model

As a parent, you might not fully understand the allure of social media. But other things can keep you glued to your phone.

Your teenagers are observing and learning from your behavior. If you’re setting rules for them that you don’t follow, they might call you out for being hypocritical.

So start by setting a good example for your teens. Spend meaningful time with your teenagers, and be sure to put your devices away when you’re with them.

Tip #5: Be there for your teens

Many teenagers turn to social media to remedy feelings of loneliness or stress.

While you might not be able to relate to your teen’s struggles all the time, you can still make yourself available whenever he or she needs support.

Listen attentively to your teens’ problems without judging them. Ask them if you can do anything to help them through the situation.

This way, your teens will be less likely to rely on social media to cope with the underlying issues.

Conclusion

When you create rules related to your teens’ social media use, be consistent. You can discuss these rules with your teens and set consequences for breaking the rules.

You should also keep an eye on your teenagers’ mental and emotional well-being.

Your teens could be experiencing depression, anxiety, or body image issues due to an addiction to social media.

In such a case, it would be best to seek the help of a professional, like a coach or therapist.

(If you haven’t already downloaded your free e-book below, do it right away.)

FREE E-BOOK:

Get your FREE copy of

16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.

The e-book has already been downloaded by many thousands of parents, so don't miss out!

Understanding Teenage Tantrums: Causes, Management, and Prevention

Updated on May 9, 2024 By Daniel Wong 4 Comments

Do you feel like you’re treading on thin ice when you’re around your teen?

Maybe a quick reminder to do his chores is met with a fit.

Or a request to put her phone away at the dining table turns into a big argument.

Teenage tantrums happen when your teen displays an emotional outburst of frustration and anger. As a parent, it can be difficult to handle.

It can leave you feeling exhausted, and make you wonder why your teenager hates you.

It’s common to think that screaming teenagers are either spoiled or disrespectful. Some parents might write it off as teenage attitude. But this is a simplistic view.

Tantrums happen for various reasons, and getting angry at your teen will only make the situation worse.

So, what can you do as a parent to prevent your teenager from shutting you out?

Understanding the issue at a deeper level is a good first step.

In this article, I’ll explain the most common causes of teenage tantrums and the best ways to manage them.

(Make sure to download your free quick action guide below.)

FREE QUICK ACTION GUIDE:

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10 Proven Ways to Get Your Teenager to Listen to You.

The tips are guaranteed to help you get through to your teen, so download your copy today!

Understanding the causes of teenage tantrums

The real reasons behind your teenager’s outbursts aren’t always obvious.

It’s similar to having a fever caused by an underlying ailment. Treating the cause is a longer-lasting solution than just treating the fever.

Similarly, parents need to look deeper when dealing with teenage outbursts.

Here are some possible causes of your teen’s temper tantrums:

Hormonal changes: As teens go through puberty, hormonal shifts can influence their mood. This makes them more susceptible to anxiety, stress, sadness, and frustration.
Social and emotional development: The part of the brain involved in self-regulation doesn’t fully mature until early adulthood. So teenagers aren’t able to process negative emotions as well as adults.
Lack of communication skills: Your teens might not know how to effectively communicate their needs and wants. For instance, asking for more autonomy, freedom, or a bigger part in decision-making are sensitive issues that can be tricky to navigate. As such, tantrums are sometimes an indirect result of a lack of communication skills.
Environmental factors: Exams, looming deadlines, conflicts with friends, the pressure to fit in, and relationship issues can be a lot to handle for teens. This can contribute to teens’ mood swings and angry outbursts.
Mental health issues: Depression, anxiety, ADHD, and other mental health issues can influence a teen’s mood and emotions. For example, teens with ADHD may feel irritated more often, as ADHD affects impulse control.

Of course, some of these causes may not directly be your teens’ fault. But this doesn’t absolve them from taking responsibility for their emotions and actions.

Signs of teenage tantrums

Temper tantrums don’t have to only involve screaming teens.

A variety of behaviors can indicate that your teens are in the midst of a tantrum, including:

Isolating themselves
Screaming, shouting, or swearing
Giving others the cold shoulder
Stomping or pacing
Moaning or whining
Acting aggressively
Throwing items
Crying

The impact of teenage tantrums on adolescents and their environment

Tantrums can impact your teenagers and those around them in various ways.

Some possible consequences that you and your teens might face include:

Your teens might struggle to form healthy relationships with others.
Your teens’ behavioral problems may affect their performance in school.
Your home may no longer feel like a safe space for you and your family.
Your emotional and mental well-being could be affected.
Your relationship with your teens may become strained.

The good news is that emotional regulation is a skill that your teens can learn.

Instilling this valuable life skill in your teens will equip them to manage negative emotions and challenges in the future.

Effective strategies for managing teenage tantrums

Small and intentional changes can make a huge difference. These tips will help you teach your teens how to respect others, communicate effectively, and regulate their emotions.

1. Recognize the triggers

After your teen has a tantrum, think about what events led up to it.

Was your teen trying to share his or her thoughts but felt unheard? Did your teen ask to go out with his or her friends or participate in an activity and you said no?

By recognizing your teen’s triggers, you can learn how to approach certain topics in the future. This will also help you to understand when your teen needs to be heard, is asking for help, or requires emotional support.

2. Respond calmly

When your teen starts to scream at you, it may feel instinctual to respond with anger. But mirroring your teen’s behavior isn’t going to help.

Respect is a two-way street, so refrain from shouting back, making threats, or talking down to your teenager.

Remind yourself to pause and take a deep breath. Modeling self-control and emotional regulation is a great way to lead by example. Your actions will speak much louder than your words ever will at that moment.

You may need to give both you and your teen some time and space before coming back together to work things out.

3. Create a safe space

Create a safe space for your teens to be heard. Be present, listen attentively, and let them speak without any interruptions.

Let them feel safe, seen, and heard, even if they aren’t acting like their best selves.

This reassures them that you’ll be there for them whenever they go through challenging situations.

4. Encourage communication

Communicate with your teens by occasionally paraphrasing what they’ve said. This lets them know that you’re listening and that you acknowledge their feelings are valid.

If your teen doesn’t seem to be calming down, remove yourself from the situation. Once your son or daughter has calmed down, you can discuss possible solutions and ways to work through the issue at hand.

5. Set limits and boundaries

When the tantrum has passed, set reasonable boundaries. Your teenagers must understand that bad behavior isn’t a tool to get what they want.

Teach your teens that being angry or frustrated is okay. But shouting, throwing things, swearing, or disrespecting others is never okay.

Let them know what the consequences of these actions will be, and follow through on the rules you’ve set.

Work with your teenagers to create these rules. Including your teenagers in the process will help them to see that you value their input. This can help to reduce the occurrence of future tantrums.

6. Seek professional help

Seeking help isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s one of the bravest things a parent can do.

Therapists, psychologists, and coaches are well-equipped to help your teen. (I work with teens 1-to-1 through this coaching program, so I’d be happy to help.)

And if you’re concerned that a mental health condition is affecting your teen’s behavior, now is the time to engage a professional before the situation gets worse.

Conclusion

Your teens are learning how to handle their big emotions. In a fast-paced, high-stress world, the best thing you can offer them is empathy, patience, and guidance.

Managing teenage tantrums is challenging, so don’t be too hard on yourself if you don’t get it right the first time around.

Keep persisting and you’ll find approaches that work for you and your teen. And remember to always be kind to and patient with yourself!

(Don’t forget to download your free quick action guide below.)

FREE QUICK ACTION GUIDE:

Get your FREE copy of

10 Proven Ways to Get Your Teenager to Listen to You.

The tips are guaranteed to help you get through to your teen, so download your copy today!

My Teenager Hates Me: What Can I Do as a Parent?

Updated on May 9, 2024 By Daniel Wong 1 Comment

Have you ever thought to yourself, “My teenager hates me”?

It’s more common than you might think for teens to say that they hate their parents.

As your teenager moves through adolescence, you may be on the receiving end of harsh words.

You may even feel like your teenager doesn’t want to spend time with family.

This can leave you feeling unappreciated, frustrated, and angry.

So what can you do to change your teen’s hurtful behavior and address your teen’s unmet emotional needs?

Learning some new parenting strategies is an excellent start.

The tips in this article will help you build a better and more respectful relationship with your teen.

Let’s start by exploring some common reasons why teens become angry with their parents.

(And if your teen also doesn’t listen to you, make sure to download the quick action guide below.)

FREE QUICK ACTION GUIDE:

Get your FREE copy of

10 Proven Ways to Get Your Teenager to Listen to You.

The tips are guaranteed to help you get through to your teen, so download your copy today!

Why do teenagers hate their parents?

Through the thousands of hours I’ve spent coaching teens 1-to-1, I’ve gained valuable insights into this issue.

I’ve uncovered common themes in what teenagers find annoying and frustrating about their parents.

Below is a list of the most common complaints I’ve heard from teens about their parents:

Reason #1: Their parents frequently remind them not to waste their potential

Telling teens that they aren’t living up to their potential may seem like a good idea – but it can have an adverse effect.

Teenagers often feel like a failure if they’re on the receiving end of this type of comment. It also leads teens to believe that their parents’ love is dependent on how successful they are.

Here’s what to do instead…

Without nagging or lecturing your teens, encourage them to reflect on their current situation. Help them to gain self-awareness without criticizing or reprimanding them. Ask them gently about what they plan to do to make progress.

Don’t forget to celebrate small wins along the way. You can also make positive comments to acknowledge your teens’ effort when they work hard or implement good study habits, regardless of the outcome.

Reason #2: Their parents overreact to small mistakes

We all make mistakes. It’s a part of how we learn and grow.

But the way you respond to your teens’ mistakes can cause problems.

For example, your teenager might have lost track of time while hanging out with his friends. He’s now late in getting home, and you’re annoyed.

It’s important to take a step back and respond rather than react.

You can do this by first asking your teen why he’s late. Once you understand the situation better, you can then discuss strategies with him to prevent the same thing from happening in the future.

For example, he might decide to set an alarm on his phone as a reminder for him to start heading home.

The key is to not overreact. If you frequently overreact, it will create emotional distance between you and your teen.

Reason #3: Their parents continually criticize and nag them

When raising teenagers, there will be opportunities for you to provide constructive criticism. Nevertheless, no one enjoys receiving constant criticism.

If you continually criticize your teens, it will hurt their self-esteem. Your teens might even become convinced that it’s impossible to live up to your expectations.

Try replacing negative comments with acknowledgments of your teens’ progress. Make a positive comment whenever you observe your teens trying hard or behaving responsibly.

This is a fantastic way to motivate your teenagers and show them that you’re their biggest supporter.

Reason #4: Their parents overemphasize academic achievement

Academics are important. But they aren’t the only aspect of your teens’ life worth discussing.

Rather than only asking your teens questions related to school, focus on building a connection with them. Try starting conversations by talking about things that your teens are interested in.

Find out more about what they like and dislike, and about what their perspective is on various issues.

The deeper the connection you have with your teens, the more likely it is that you’ll be able to influence them when it counts.

Reason #5: They feel disrespected by their parents

Nobody likes to be talked down to or treated disrespectfully.

Even though you have more knowledge and experience than your teenagers, avoid being condescending.

Think back to when you were a teenager. You probably thought you knew better than your parents, so don’t be surprised if your teens think they know better than you!

So treat your teens with respect, if not it’ll be hard for you to expect the same kind of treatment from them.

Reason #6: They feel as if their interests aren’t valued

As individuals, we all have unique interests. These are things that spark our curiosity or inspire us. It’s what makes us who we are.

Parents often overlook the things that matter to their teenagers. When you continually focus on how your teens are doing in their academics or sports, they may feel like you’re not treating them as people.

They may feel like you’re treating them as a project.

So try to not be dismissive of things that are important to your teens, but which you might think are a waste of time, e.g. gaming, shows, social media.

The more you get to know your teen, the more they will understand how much you care about them.

Reason #7: They feel pressured to pursue their parents’ dreams

As a parent, it can be tempting to view your teens as younger versions of yourself.

You work hard to provide opportunities for your teens to do things you couldn’t do when you were younger. Perhaps you overemphasize a certain career path or extracurricular interest.

But I encourage you not to do this. If you do, it will only end with frustration and disappointment.

Don’t pressure your teenagers to pursue your dreams.

Your teens have their own identities and interests. You need to respect their individuality and support them as they work toward goals they find meaningful.

Reason #8: Their parents refuse to apologize when they’re wrong

One of the reasons your teenagers may hate you is that you never – or almost never – apologize.

As a parent, it can be tough to admit when you’re wrong. The truth is, anyone you’ve harmed through your words or actions deserves an apology.

If you’re in the wrong or you’ve messed up, acknowledge it to your teens.

Apologizing takes courage, but it models responsible behavior for your teenagers. It can inspire them to do the same when faced with a similar situation.

Reason #9: Their parents don’t include them in the decision-making process

As teens get older, they’ll start to test existing boundaries. This is normal! Teens are in the process of figuring out who they are and taking steps toward independence.

As such, it only makes sense to include your teens in setting rules and boundaries.

This doesn’t mean you should become a pushover. Working in collaboration to establish healthy boundaries is beneficial to both parents and teens.

An additional bonus is that your teen will see that you’re willing to negotiate.

For example, let’s say you want to set a curfew. This will give you peace of mind while also teaching your teen the importance of responsibility.

You can sit down together and decide on an appropriate time. As a parent, you have the final say, but the goal is to have a respectful discussion.

By involving teens in the decision-making process, you empower them to be more responsible. At the same time, they’ll also develop negotiation skills.

Reason #10: Their parents don’t really listen to them

The best person to answer the question, “Why does my teenager hate me?” is your teenager. If you listen carefully, you’ll come to understand why he or she feels resentful or frustrated.

Listening is one of the greatest gifts you can give your teenager.

Some teenagers go through a phase where they spend more time alone as they deal with difficult issues. This reluctance to open up can cause them to be misunderstood.

As a parent, it’s important to learn specific strategies for how to talk to teens. Invite them to open up and listen without judgment when they do. The key is to go beyond just listening and make sure your teens feel heard and supported.

Reason #11: Their parents downplay their feelings

When your teenagers are upset, the last thing they want to hear is, “Oh, it’s nothing to get upset about.”

So don’t dismiss or downplay your teens’ feelings. Doing so invalidates and minimizes issues that are important to your teens.

If this continues, your teens will eventually stop opening up to you.

Be there for your teens not only in the good times, but also in the tough times. It can be a great relief for teenagers to express anger, sadness, or frustration and know their parents will support them instead of judging them.

Reason #12: Their parents focus on rules and neglect the relationship

Every household needs rules to ensure everything runs smoothly. But making rules the focal point of everything is ineffective. It can also hurt your relationship with your teen.

For example, let’s say that you and your family have agreed to eat dinner together at 7pm. But your teen suddenly feels like eating earlier because she needs to work on an assignment. This isn’t the end of the world!

Yes, family time is important, but your teen also needs some flexibility. So you can discuss with her how you can work around this situation while still understanding the values that matter to your family.

As with many things, balance is key.

Conclusion

As a parent, there are a variety of ways to mend the relationship with your teen. So don’t lose hope!

Start by identifying which of the reasons listed in this article ring true for you and your teen. Then, put the relevant tips into practice to help your teen become less frustrated and resentful.

As you do this, you’ll bring out the best in your teen and strengthen the relationship too.

And if your teenager is also unmotivated or irresponsible, try my online course for parents of teens. It’s a step-by-step system called Transform Your Teen Today. It’s been proven to work and it even comes with a 100% money-back guarantee!

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Coaching for Teens: Can It Help My Teen to Become Motivated?

Updated on August 26, 2024 By Daniel Wong Leave a Comment

Are you having a hard time getting your teen to study, do chores, or participate in family activities?

Maybe you’ve noticed that your teen seems unmotivated and directionless.

You’ve been watching your teen avoid challenges, behave irresponsibly, and spend hours on his or her phone.

As a parent, you’ve been doing everything you can think of to get through to your teen.

If this sounds like the situation in your home, it’s time to consider engaging a coach for your teen.

Your teen’s performance in all areas of life will dramatically improve when he or she connects with an experienced coach.

This article explores the purpose of coaching, so you can decide if it’s the right solution for your teen.

Signs that your teen needs a coach

Here are some indicators that your teenager would benefit from working with a coach:

Sign #1: Your teen lacks motivation or has a negative attitude

A particular situation or event can cause teenagers to develop negative thoughts and a negative attitude.

For example, your teen may dislike a particular teacher, so he or she stops attending class.

Or maybe your teen feels overwhelmed by everything going on in school, so he or she procrastinates as a way of escape.

A coach can help your teen to become more self-aware and inspire your teen to change for the better.

Sign #2: Your teen lacks organizational skills

Here are some signs that your teen lacks organizational skills:

Your teen forgets to submit homework on time
Your teen misplaces his or her personal items
Your teen doesn’t plan ahead
Your teen doesn’t prepare well for tests and exams
Your teen doesn’t keep track of events and deadlines
Your teen doesn’t prioritize well

A coach can work with your teenager to equip him or her with the planning and organizational skills needed to cope with the demands of school, extra-curricular activities, etc.

This process will also prepare your teen for the future, where organizational skills will matter even more in the workplace and in managing adult life.

Sign #3: Your teen is addicted to texting, gaming, social media, videos, shows, etc.

Do you frequently find your teenager in front of the TV, computer, or on his or her phone?

It’s easy for teenagers can get caught up in the digital world, which is often entertaining and addictive.

A coach can work with your teenager to find the right balance. A coach can also enable your teenager to develop healthy habits when it comes to screen time.

Sign #4: Your teen gives up easily or struggles with anxiety

Teens who lack resilience often give up when they’re faced with challenges or with tasks that require significant effort.

If this describes your teen, a coach can work with him or her to get to the root of the issue. A coach can guide your teen toward developing perseverance and a strong work ethic.

Sometimes teens need to learn strategies to break down big projects into smaller tasks. They may also need to learn to view challenges positively instead of negatively. A skilled coach will be able to help your teen in these areas too.

What benefits will your teen receive through working with a coach?

An experienced coach is trained to help teenagers overcome their struggles so they can confidently face the future.

Here are some benefits your teen will receive through working with a coach:

Benefit #1: Your teen will develop a sense of purpose

Coaching will change your teen’s perception that school, extracurricular activities, family commitments, etc. are boring or pointless.

When teens have a strong sense of purpose, they naturally develop intrinsic motivation in all areas of their lives.

Benefit #2: Your teen will find a renewed passion for learning

At times, it may seem impossible for you to motivate your teen to study. But with support from a coach, your teen will take ownership of his or her education.

A coach will guide your teenager to develop traits like focus, confidence, and discipline. Your teen will start to take school seriously and will become an effective student.

Benefit #3: Your teen will become responsible and will make good decisions

Irresponsible choices can lead teens down the wrong path in life. Coaching will help your teenager develop responsibility and make wise decisions.

A coach will ensure that your teen has the right foundation for becoming a trustworthy and competent adult. When faced with tough choices, your teen will be equipped to choose the best path forward.

Benefit #4: Your teen will build healthy habits

Healthy habits are the building blocks of a successful and balanced life. But it isn’t always easy for parents to get their teenagers to develop new habits or eliminate harmful behaviors or thought patterns.

This is where coaching comes in.

A coach will teach your teenager how to develop the right habits and will ensure that the habits formed are permanent.

Benefit #5: Your teen will plan for the future

A coach will guide your teen to think long-term instead of short-term. Your teen will plan for the future effectively and will set meaningful goals that he or she feels inspired to work toward.

At the same time, your teen will implement customized strategies to reach those goals.

Conclusion

At some point, most teenagers will lack motivation, focus, and direction.

I encourage you to get help for your teen as soon as possible, before the situation worsens.

After reading this article, I hope you’re now aware of how your teen would benefit from coaching.

To learn more about choosing a suitable coach for your teen, read this article next. Alternatively, you can click the link in the box below…

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How to Choose the Right Coach for Your Teen

How to Communicate With Teenagers (11 Actionable Tips for Parents)

Updated on July 2, 2024 By Daniel Wong 4 Comments

Are you having trouble communicating with your teen?

As a parent, you know that communication is key.

But your teenager may not be opening up to talk to you about day-to-day matters, much less difficult ones.

I coach teens for a living, so I often speak with parents who are struggling to find ways to open the lines of communication with their teens.

Communication can be complex, but the good news is that parenting teens is a skill that you can get better at.

(I’m a father of three myself, so I know there’s always room for me to improve as a parent!)

In this article, I’ll discuss the topic of how to talk to your teenagers so they’ll listen to you and behave responsibly.

Apply the tips below and your relationship with your teen will become stronger too!

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11 tips for communicating with teenagers

How should I talk to my teenager?

If you find yourself asking this question, you’re in the right place.

Learning how to communicate with your teen is essential to maintaining a healthy relationship. Here are some techniques you can use to improve how you and your teen talk to each other.

1. Lecture less, listen more

As a parent, it’s easy to fall into the routine of lecturing your teenagers.

After all, you have a lot of life experience and you want to share it with them. But studies have shown that long or angry lectures simply don’t work.

So find ways to actively engage with your teen. Ask them questions like:

“Is there anything I can do to help you feel better?”
“What did you learn through this experience?”
“How can I support you in this situation?”

Avoid saying things to your teen like:

“What’s wrong with you?”
“What were you thinking?”

By asking questions that engage your teen in a positive way, you’ll build a solid foundation of trust.

2. Break down communication barriers

A communication barrier will develop if you frequently nag, judge, or scold your teens.

When it comes to communication, emotional barriers prevent teens from feeling secure enough to talk about what’s going on in their lives. This can cause them to start lying.

For example, if you talk to your teenage daughter about changing her behaviour, don’t start the conversation by criticising her. Instead, empathise with her and make sure she feels safe opening up about her emotions.

If you want your teens to talk to you more, you must give them your attention. Listen to your teenagers without casting judgment, and avoid jumping in with unsolicited advice.

3. Don’t blame or shame your teen

When something goes wrong in your teen’s life, of course you want to help.

Teenagers will make mistakes, and that’s okay! It’s how they learn and gain wisdom.

When your teens come to you to talk, resist the urge to blame or shame them for whatever has happened.

Instead, be understanding and compassionate. Let your teenagers know that it’s okay that they made a mistake.

Help them to process their emotions and reflect on what they’ve learned through the situation.

By doing so, they’ll feel more comfortable sharing things with you.

4. Help your teen think things through

Too often, teenagers make impulsive decisions. It takes time and experience to understand that thinking things through leads to the best outcomes.

If you know or suspect that your teenager is struggling with a problem, check in to see what’s going on.

Whenever possible, help your teens to think through the situation so they can see things from a different perspective.

Over time, they’ll learn to do this on their own, which is a valuable skill they’ll be able to use for years to come.

5. Don’t let things escalate

As a parent, you’ll have tough days when the stress of everyday life gets to you.

At those times, it’s more likely that a conversation with your teen will result in a heated argument that hurts the relationship.

When the tension starts to rise, you could say something like:

“I need some time to think about this.”
“Let’s talk about this later, please. I need a bit of space to calm down.”

When you say things like that, you ensure that when you do sit down and talk with your teen, you’ll be able to have a calm discussion. This will show your teen that you care about and respect him or her.

6. Make it easy for your teen to engage with you

Is your teen withdrawn?

Sometimes, it’s hard for teens to talk to others about what’s happening in their lives because of a fear of being judged.

Keeping the lines of communication open is essential, especially during the teenage years of self-discovery.

Research has shown – not surprisingly – that when parents listen to their teens actively and attentively, their teens felt a greater sense of closeness, autonomy, and self-worth.

It’s challenging, but do your best to be that kind of parent to your teen every day!

7. Express empathy

Many teenagers feel as if no one understands what they’re going through.

This can cause them to feel lonely, anxious, or angry.

By communicating empathetically with your teen, you’re showing that you’re doing your best to understand how he or she feels.

When you say, “I know this seems unfair,” or “It must be frustrating to feel as if you don’t fit in,” you’re letting your teenager know that you’re trying to put yourself in his or her shoes.

Empathy is a healthy way to create understanding and deal with teenage attitude.

8. Refrain from using threats

Teenagers are developing their sense of identity apart from you, so it’s normal for them to test boundaries.

Your teens might say, “I’ll do it later,” when you’ve already made it clear that you need the chore done now.

As a parent, this is frustrating, and punishments or threats might seem like the most effective approach.

But threats rarely work, and only serve to damage the relationship you have with your teen.

What should you do instead?

Try communication strategies such as:

Giving your teenagers choices whenever possible
Connecting with them more and criticising them less
Talking to them about their hobbies and interests
Saying positive things to them every day

9. Be real with your teen

As a parent, you obviously want to have a great relationship with your teens. Don’t be afraid to tell them this.

Tell them that you love them, and show affection in the ways that they appreciate.

Rather than using “you” statements, which can feel accusatory, try using “I” statements that focus on how you feel.

Here’s an example:

“You” statement: “You’re not working hard enough.”
“I” statement: “I feel worried that you won’t do as well as you expect for the exam next week.”

And here’s one more example:

“You” statement: “You never complete your chores.”
“I” statement: “I really appreciate it when you complete your chores every day.”

To modify a quote by leadership expert Craig Groeschel: “Teens would rather follow a parent who is always real, rather than a parent who is always right.”

10. Apply active listening techniques

You may have heard of active listening before.

It’s the process of listening such that the other person feels heard and understood.

Active listening isn’t just about using specific techniques, but must come from a place of authenticity and empathy.

Make sure to really listen to what your teens are telling you by maintaining eye contact, asking clarifying questions, and using phrases like, “Tell me more.”

Nod periodically and keep your arms uncrossed. In this way, your teenagers will feel as if you’re fully present with them.

11. Focus on specific behaviours instead of making general statements

Avoid making general statements about what your teen is or isn’t doing that you’re concerned about.

For example, don’t tell your teens that they’re not managing their time well.

Instead, say that you noticed that they were on their phone for two hours straight after school. This is despite the fact that you know they have an incomplete project that’s due tomorrow.

When you focus on specific behaviours, your teenagers will be less likely to turn defensive.

You’ll then be able to work together with them to find an acceptable solution.

Conclusion

Everything worth doing in life requires effort and commitment.

It definitely requires lots of effort and commitment on your part to be able to communicate effectively with your teens.

But it’s worth it.

So I encourage you to start using the communication techniques listed in this article today!

If you like this article, please share it with your friends.

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Helping Teens With Anxiety: 5 Proven Tips

Updated on December 5, 2022 By Daniel Wong Leave a Comment

It isn’t easy to help teens with anxiety.

You try to reassure them that everything will be okay, but their fears and doubts are paralysing.

You hate to see your teens struggling, but nothing you say seems to ease their worries.

First off, know that you’re not alone.

Anxiety is one of the most common mental health disorders, and anxiety in teens has increased over the years.^[1]

Having said this, everyone feels anxious sometimes, and that’s okay!

Anxiety is a persistent feeling of worry or dread that something terrible will happen in situations that aren’t actually threatening. These feelings can persist even after the event has passed.

Physical changes like increased blood pressure, nausea, and tremors are common.^[2]

It’s crucial that your teenagers learn how to cope with anxiety so that they can face challenges head-on.

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5 tips to help teenagers deal with anxiety

Let’s explore research-backed strategies to equip your teens to develop this important life skill, which will serve them well into the future.

1. Don’t solve your teenagers’ problems for them

Your teens get home from school, slump on the sofa, then immediately begin to complain about their never-ending to-do list.

You already know that they feel social pressure to fit in at school. And now they’re facing additional stress because of their academics and extracurricular activities.

No wonder they feel anxious!

As a parent, it’s natural for you to want to fix your teens’ problems. So, when you hear your teens venting, it can be tempting to say things like:

“If you’re so worried about the test next week, why don’t you start studying now?”
“Don’t worry so much about what other people think. Everything is going to be okay!”
“You should put your phone away whenever you’re doing your work. Then you won’t have trouble meeting all your deadlines.”

Here’s the thing about helping teens with anxiety…

They don’t need a lecture from you, and they don’t need you to fix the situation. They need to know that you’re trying hard to understand their feelings and perspective.

I recommend that you use active listening techniques as frequently as you can.

Give your teens your full attention and try not to offer unsolicited advice. Demonstrate that you empathise with your teens’ feelings by saying something like:

“It sounds like you feel a lot of pressure to juggle your responsibilities, and you’re afraid that you’re not going to be able to fulfil all your responsibilities well.”

Such emotional validation helps teens understand that it’s okay for them to be worried or afraid.^[3] Over time, your teens will feel less overwhelmed and more capable of confronting challenging scenarios.

2. Help your teenagers practise coping skills

The global COVID-19 pandemic upended the lives of teenagers around the world.

School closings led to social isolation and a lack of routine, and many teenagers are still struggling with the unpredictability of it all.

A University of Calgary study reveals that depression and anxiety have doubled in children and adolescents since pre-pandemic times.^[4]

When it comes to helping teenagers who have anxiety, it’s vital to equip them with the tools to deal with feelings of doubt, fear, and uncertainty. Here are two coping skills and strategies that you can encourage your teens to practise:

Breathing exercises

Rapid and shallow breathing is a natural reaction to anxiety.

What’s the problem with this?

Shallow breaths make anxiety worse — and can even lead to panic attacks.^[5]

Teach your teens to take slow, deep, and steady breaths. As clinical psychologist Juli Fraga says: “Deep breathing can help intense sensations, experiences, and emotions feel less threatening.”

Journaling

If your teens have a difficult time talking about their anxiety, invite them to try journaling. They’ll probably find that their thoughts are less scary when they’re written down.

Here are some apps that make it easy for teens to journal regularly. By doing so, their anxious thoughts won’t creep into every moment of the day.

3. Encourage your teenagers to volunteer

When it comes to working with teens who have anxiety, sometimes the best solution is to start doing things for the benefit of others.

Research shows that volunteering helps our overall mental well-being.^[6] One reason for this is that serving others releases dopamine, which reduces stress and increases positive emotions.

I’ve noticed the benefits of volunteering first-hand with my coaching clients.

When teenagers are engaged in helping others, they often become more grateful. They learn to think beyond themselves, which gives them a sense of purpose and meaning.^[7]

If your anxious teens are hesitant to volunteer, don’t force them into it. Instead, find a community activity or service-learning project that you can participate in as a family.

Your teen will see that you, too, are committed to giving back — and you’ll strengthen your relationship with your teen in the process.

4. Encourage your teenagers to take care of their physical health

Sometimes, simple lifestyle changes are what it takes to decrease teenage anxiety.

According to Harvard Health Publishing, sleep problems are widespread in individuals with anxiety.

That probably doesn’t come as a surprise.

It can be a vicious cycle — teenagers can’t sleep when they’re anxious, yet they feel overwhelmed because they’re not well-rested!

If your teenagers struggle to sleep, try helping them to:

Limit screen and phone time before bed.
Avoid bright lights at night.
Develop an evening routine. This could include a hot shower, reading a book, or relaxing with a cup of caffeine-free tea.
Get morning sunlight whenever possible.

When it comes to helping anxious teens, exercise matters, too.

Physical activity stimulates the production of serotonin and endorphins, both of which positively affect teens’ ability to manage stress and anxiety.^[8] And teens don’t necessarily need to join a gym — a brisk 15-minute walk will do the trick.

It’s also important to promote healthy eating habits.

When we’re worried, it’s tempting to make a bee-line for a soda or candy bar, but sugar and caffeine can worsen anxiety.^[9]

I suggest keeping healthy foods easily accessible. Here are a few of my favourites that will enable your teenagers to study smarter while keeping anxiety at bay:

Blueberries
Almonds
Eggs
Dark chocolate
Yogurt

5. Pay attention to your teenagers’ strengths

The teenage years are a curious time of transition.

Teens’ brains are changing, and they’re seeking more autonomy. At the same time, they’re discovering their personality, talents, and interests.

As your teens navigate these changes, it’s natural for them to sometimes question their self-worth.

Negative thoughts might start to seep in, such as: “Why am I such a failure?” or “Do my friends actually like me?”

Say positive things to your teens often. Celebrate their unique strengths, and encourage self-compassion.

Your teens will gradually learn to become okay with their flaws, thus reducing their anxiety levels and building self-esteem.

In closing…

I know it’s challenging to watch your teens struggle.

But the next time you have the urge to fix their problems, use these 5 proven tips instead.

You’ll help your teenagers to develop essential skills and habits, no matter what challenges come their way.

Depending on the situation, they may need some extra support.

Maybe they’ve experienced a traumatic life event. Or maybe, even after implementing the tips in this article, they still can’t stop worrying — and it’s crippling them.

If so, the 1-to-1 coaching programme I offer will help. Through this coaching programme, I equip teens with the mindset and tools to overcome these problems and thrive. You can learn more about the coaching programme here.

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16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.

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References for this article:

1. Data and Statistics on Children’s Mental Health. (2022).
https://www.cdc.gov/childrensmentalhealth/data.html

2. Stress vs. anxiety – Knowing the Difference Is Critical to Your Health. (2018).
https://www.mentalhealthfirstaid.org/external/2018/06/stress-vs-anxiety/

3. Six Ways You Can Validate a Teen (And Anyone Else!). (2020).
https://evolvetreatment.com/blog/six-ways-validate-teens/

4. Depression And Anxiety Double In Youth Compared to Pre-Pandemic. (2021).
https://www.forbes.com/sites/williamhaseltine/2021/08/25/depression-and-anxiety-double-in-youth-compared-to-pre-pandemic/?sh=36920882139f

5. How shallow breathing affects your whole body. (2020).
https://www.headspace.com/articles/shallow-breathing-whole-body

6. How Volunteering Can Help Your Mental Health. (2018).
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_volunteering_can_help_your_mental_health

7. Five Ways to Help Teens Build a Sense of Self-Worth. (2018).
https://www.mindful.org/five-ways-to-help-teens-build-a-sense-of-self-worth/

8. 5 lifestyle changes that may help with managing anxiety or depression. (2022).
https://newsroom.uhc.com/health/coping-with-anxiety-depression.html

9. The 4 Worst Foods for Your Anxiety. (2021).
https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/surprising-foods-trigger-anxiety