As a parent, do you sometimes do things for your children that they should do for themselves?
I’m a parent too, so I know this is a trap that’s easy to fall into.
As time goes by, you may even start to think that you need to keep doing these things for your children.
If you don’t, these things won’t get done at all!
Sound familiar?
I’ve spoken to and worked with close to 25,000 pre-teens and teens so far. It surprises me that most of them haven’t developed the life skills needed to succeed in school and adulthood.
To help parents, I’ve created this list of 40 things that children should know how to do before they turn 13.
(To gain access to 10 more items, download the free bonus below.)
I’ve separated the list into five categories:
- General life skills and self-management
- Social/communication skills and relationships
- Money
- Home
- Emotions
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General life skills and self-management
1. Use a calendar or planner to keep track of important events and dates.
2. Handle their schoolwork, revision, etc. on their own without reminders or nagging.
3. Wake up on their own every morning without relying on their parents.
4. Writing things down and setting reminders to ensure that they don’t forget important information, items, etc.
5. Keep their room, desk, personal belongings, etc. organised.
6. Contact their tutors, teachers, coaches, etc. when necessary instead of relying on their parents to do it on their behalf.
7. Develop a rough daily and weekly schedule.
8. Create a plan to prepare for a test, achieve a goal, complete a project, etc.
9. Prioritise tasks.
10. Pack their bag on their own.
11. Take public transportation.
Social/communication skills and relationships
12. Carry on a conversation with someone they just met.
13. Ask appropriate and relevant questions.
14. Order food at a food court, fast food restaurant, etc.
15. Display basic courtesies.
16. Offer a sincere apology when they have made a mistake.
17. Keep the commitments and promises they have made to others.
Money
18. Create a simple budget.
19. Save for things they want in the medium- or long-term.
20. Set aside some of their allowance for charitable giving.
21. Know the rough price of common items.
22. Compare prices before making bigger purchases so that they don’t waste money unnecessarily.
Home
23. Buy groceries.
24. Operate kitchen appliances, e.g. toaster, microwave.
25. Prepare a simple meal, e.g. cook noodles and eggs, make a salad.
26. Use the washing machine.
27. Iron clothes.
28. Fold clothes.
29. Vacuum and sweep the floor.
30. Mop the floor.
31. Clean the bathroom.
32. Wash the dishes.
33. Clear the garbage.
Emotions
34. Manage emotions like anger, anxiety and fear in healthy ways. (Here’s an article about how to help anxious teenagers.)
35. Deal with failures and disappointments constructively.
36. Take full responsibility for their life and not blame others.
37. Cope with stress effectively.
38. Accept criticism with grace.
39. Forgive themselves and others.
40. Reframe frustrating situations so that they see the situations more positively.
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Thank you so much all the ideas.
You’re most welcome.
Hahaha! I am a teen and I still need to work on this and I will!
Oh and thanks for the article.
You’re welcome, Scarlett. Wishing you all the best!
Hi Daniel, it was so blessing and I took some printout and gave it to my Sunday School Teachers to discuss with their children in the class with these points.
it was so great and helpful
Ravi- India
I’m glad to hear that, Ravi!
thanks!
You’re welcome, June.
thanks so much Daniel…this will help me alot
You are very welcome, Rose.
Sir I’m very lazy, therefore can you kindly tell me how to deal with it… My parents are fed up of being saying, don’t be so lazy
Thank you for sharing. I think you’ll find this article (https://www.daniel-wong.com/2018/04/23/get-motivated-to-study/) useful.
Great ideas all parents should know but don’t. But could I just add on one under either social or emotions category- how to handle bullies positively without losing one self-worth.
Thanks, Kellyn. Great point.
Absolutely!
I am Esakki Muthu [EM]
Thank you sir!
It’s very useful tips!
You are very welcome, Esakki Muthu.
Very nice and concise article. It was really helpful.
I agree. Most parents pamper their kids that these children never learn the life skills that they need to develop. I’ve seen these among my students and it saddens me to know that at the age of 17 and 18, there are students who can’t survive on their own. I usually talk to their parents about this to help their kids grow and mature. As a mother to my two kids, I make sure that they do things on their own as early as 4 years old. I even ask them to decide and just correct their decisions when needed.
i’m 12, and i don’t do have the stuff but i will now thank you
Hi, I’m Elby and I do most of the stuff but need to work on some of it. I am 11 turning 12 in march. Thx for the great tips.
Hey i Turned 13 on the 2nd And i already do most of the basic things like cooking, organizing and projects but dont deal well with talking to people and dealing with my anxiety i will try to work on these things Thx
Btw, My names Daniel too
I also hope to become a quantum phycist
Nice list. I found this at 13 (my current age) and it seems pretty useful, but as a logical thinker I would like to add to this/argue it
1.Some people are more shy than others, alike myself
2.Not every single person*child* is able to do the things in a day that others can
3. Another one for money management is if you as a teen/preteen absolutely love spending money split how much you have: half for saving and half for spending 💰