Daniel Wong

Raising Resilient Children: A Simple Tip That Works Wonders

Updated on May 7, 2020 By 4 Comments

resilient children

Every parent has been there before.

You worry that your children won’t be resilient enough to survive in the “real world” when they grow up.

Will they be able to handle disappointments? Will they develop a can-do attitude? Will they overcome their fears?

To prepare your children for the future, you encourage them to work hard. You try to teach them valuable life skills.

But when they meet setbacks, they sometimes falter. Maybe it’s a math test they didn’t do well on. Or a friendship that fell apart. Or a teacher who said something harsh.

They didn’t take it well. They might even have become withdrawn and unmotivated.

So you ask yourself…

How can I help my children to become more resilient?

A simple, effective tip for bringing up resilient children

And the tip is:

Share your challenges and struggles with your children, and explain to them what you’re doing to resolve the situation.

This might sound like a strange approach, but it’s effective.

Here’s why. [Read more…]

7 Phrases That Children Need To Hear From Their Parents

Updated on January 8, 2020 By 32 Comments

Listening

Are you worried that your children aren’t as motivated and hardworking as they should be?

It’s natural that parents want their children to succeed.

Through my work with students, I’ve realized just how much the parent-child relationship affects the child’s development, both emotionally and mentally.

No surprises there.

The stronger the relationship, the better the chances of the child becoming a well-adjusted, successful adult.

This article lists seven simple phrases that will help you to build that relationship.

The more often you use the phrases – I’m not asking you to repeat them every moment of every day, though! – the more likely it is that your child will grow up feeling safe, secure and self-confident. That’s the foundation of long-term success and happiness.

Here are the seven phrases:

1. “I love you”

This is an obvious but vital one.

Children need to know that you love and accept them unconditionally. You might feel awkward about saying “I love you” to your children, especially if it isn’t part of your family culture. But I encourage you to say it at least once a month. If you say it once a week or once a day, even better.

95% of the teenagers I work with confess to me that they feel as though their parents love them more when they perform well in school or in their other activities.

In extreme cases, these children grow up believing that they’ll never be good enough. This can cause them to be unmotivated, or to exhibit other behavioral problems.

The simple solution?

Say “I love you” to your children. Often.

2. “Go for it!”

Of course, if your children are about to do something dangerous or unethical, you shouldn’t tell them to “go for it.” You should step in. [Read more…]

10 Questions That Successful Parents Ask Themselves

Updated on September 30, 2021 By

Parenting

Parenting is an awesome responsibility that involves a huge amount of work.

It isn’t easy to be a great parent!

I’ve had the privilege of speaking to and working with thousands of students and parents. Through these interactions, I’ve come to realize that despite their good intentions, parents often do things that confuse, annoy, anger or frustrate their children.

I’ve noticed the many mistakes that parents make in trying to raise happy and successful children.

I’ve also observed what winning parents do differently.

Based on these observations, I’ve come up with a list of 10 questions that all successful parents ask themselves.

(Just to be clear, I’m writing this post from a child and a student’s perspective. Also, to avoid repeatedly writing “he or she,” I’ll assume that the child I refer to is a girl.)

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1. Do I want what’s good for my child or what’s best?

(This point is inspired by this excellent article.)

It’s natural for parents to advise their children to pursue the safe, predictable and practical route.

Parents do this because they don’t want their children to experience uncertainty or discomfort.

This is the good path.

But is it the best path?

In most cases, no. The best path is usually the one that’s full of challenges, obstacles and disappointments.

It might even be full of the “f” word: failure.

Winning parents distinguish between “good” and “best,” and continually encourage their children to choose “best.”

[Read more…]