The 10 Most Dangerous Things That Students Can Say to Themselves

Updated on July 6, 2022 By Daniel Wong 12 Comments

The way you talk to yourself has a huge impact on how you handle challenges.

It affects how you perform in every area of life, including your academics.

Negative thoughts sometimes become so much a part of your “self-talk” that you’re barely even aware of them.

In this article, I’ll show you the 10 most dangerous things that students can say to themselves, and why these 10 things prevent students from achieving their goals.

(To learn 3 bonus tips, download the free PDF summary below.)

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1. “I don’t feel like it”

There will be times when you don’t feel like doing something that you ought to.

One thing that successful students all have in common is that they don’t allow themselves to be driven by emotion.

To succeed, you must be able to put your feelings aside and follow through on your commitments, even when you don’t feel like it.

For example, if you’ve made a commitment to study for at least 1 hour every weekday, do everything necessary to keep to that commitment.

Or if you’ve decided to go for a 20-minute walk every evening, make sure you do it, regardless of how you feel.

To make it more enjoyable, you could listen to an audiobook or podcast during the walk. (That’s what I do during my walks, and it helps a lot!)

Doing things only when you feel motivated to do them isn’t a reliable way of reaching your goals.

This is because you definitely won’t feel motivated all the time.

It’s important to be able to do productive and meaningful things even when you don’t feel like doing them.

Over time, you’ll build self-discipline.

2. “I’ll do it later”

Procrastination is the enemy of success, because it prevents you from being prepared to perform at your best.

To combat procrastination, the first thing to do is recognise that you’re engaging in it.

If you find yourself frequently saying “I’ll do it later” or “I’ll do it the day before it’s due”, these are common signs of procrastination.

The most effective way of dealing with procrastination is to make specific commitments, e.g. “I complete all my assignments at least 2 days before they’re due”, “I start studying for every class test at least 1 week in advance”.

You can go even further than this and prioritise the very things that you least want to do. This turns procrastination on its head: the things you want to avoid doing, you do first.

Another way of dealing with procrastination is to say no to perfectionism.

Sometimes we procrastinate because we feel that something has to be perfect. The fear of falling short of perfection is what causes us to procrastinate.

If you find yourself falling into this trap, tell yourself every day that progress and the process are what matter most, not perfection.

3. “I don’t have enough time”

We all get 24 hours a day. How is it that some students are so productive while others aren’t?

The answer boils down to planning and prioritisation.

If you feel you don’t have enough time to study and do other meaningful things, the problem could be that you aren’t doing enough planning.

Planning means allocating your time to specific tasks so that you achieve your goals.

When you have a plan, you “make” the time you need to accomplish a particular task.

So when you say “I don’t have enough time”, check that you’ve set aside time in your daily and weekly schedule for the task.

If you haven’t, this would explain why it feels as if you don’t have enough time.

The second aspect is prioritisation.

It’s often the case that students who say they don’t have enough time to study, read, exercise, etc. do have enough time to play video games or watch shows or go on social media every day.

If this is the case for you, then it’s a matter of priorities.

Prioritising is the act of deciding that some things in your life are more important than others.

For example, when thinking about doing fun activities like playing video games, ask yourself: “Will this help me get to where I want to be in 5 years or 10 years?”

Of course, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t play any video games at all.

I’m just saying that the way you spend your time should reflect what you claim is most important to you.

4. “It’s too late to…”

There’s a famous Chinese proverb that says, “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”

This principle applies to almost everything we do.

For example, you may feel that it’s too late to learn to play the guitar. Yes, it would have been good if you’d started learning to play the guitar 3 years ago.

But don’t let that thought prevent you from starting today.

Or you may feel that it’s too late to build a better relationship with your parents, because you’ve had a bad relationship with them for the past 5 years.

But without a doubt, today is the best day to start improving your relationship with your parents.

5. “I’m just not good at this”

When you’re learning a new skill or area of knowledge, do you ever think to yourself that “I’m just not good at this”?

If so, that’s a limiting mindset that will prevent you from growing and developing.

If you have this mindset, you’ll find excuses not to do your homework or to try to master a new topic.

Dr. Carol Dweck of Stanford University has identified two kinds of mindsets: the fixed mindset and the growth mindset.

People with a fixed mindset tend to fear failure. They frequently avoid challenges or anything that makes them feel bad about their level of ability.

On the other hand, people with a growth mindset take on challenges. They accept the discomfort that goes along with challenges, because they know it’s part of the learning process.

So the next time you’re learning something new and the thought “I’m just not good at this” pops into your head, remind yourself that this feeling of being stretched is a good thing.

Feel the discomfort and push through it as you put in the effort to improve!

6. “Nothing ever goes my way”

We all experience setbacks, and we all have days when nothing seems to go right.

But if you find yourself frequently thinking that “nothing ever goes my way”, ask yourself if this is accurate.

This kind of thinking is an example of what psychologists call all-or-nothing thinking.

Look back over the past month and make a list of all the situations that turned out well.

Maybe you did better than expected on a test, or maybe you made a couple of new friends, or maybe your physical fitness improved.

Through the process of making this list, you’ll begin to see that this kind of all-or-nothing thinking is rarely objective.

7. “If only…”

A limiting belief that will prevent you from succeeding as a student is the notion that something is holding you back.

This often takes the form of thoughts that begin with the statement “If only…”

For example, you might think to yourself:

“If only I was born into a wealthier family…”
“If only my parents gave me more freedom…”
“If only I went to a better school…”
“If only I didn’t have to travel so far to get to school…”
“If only other people made an effort to understand me better…”
“If only I was better-looking…”

These thoughts are sometimes based on valid observations.

You’ll always be able to find someone who has something you don’t. At the same time, there are always countless things for you to be thankful for.

Don’t let these “if only” thoughts become an excuse for not doing your best.

History is full of people who made profound contributions to the world, but who had to overcome huge obstacles along the way.

8. “I’m not __________ enough to…”

This is another kind of limiting belief that will stop you from making the most of your potential as a student.

It might take the form of something like “I’m not smart enough to get good grades” or “I’m not confident enough to be on the school debate team”.

These thoughts will stop you from even attempting something challenging.

If you struggle with these thoughts, there are two aspects to focus on.

First, ask yourself if the belief is accurate. Is it really true that you’re not smart enough or confident enough?

Second, even if there’s some truth to the belief, what’s to stop you from improving and putting yourself in a better position to succeed?

For example, if you lack confidence, you can take practical steps to become more assertive, improve your communication and leadership skills, contribute to the community, etc. As a result, you’ll become more confident.

Remember that the thoughts you have about your abilities are often self-fulfilling.

As Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right.”

9. “It’s my teacher’s/parent’s/friend’s fault”

There will be times when people let you down. But at the end of the day, we’re fully responsible for our lives.

After all, if you’re not responsible for your life, then who is?

So even though your friends, teachers and family members may not live up to your expectations, there’s no point blaming them.

Instead, think about what you can do to take ownership of the situation.

For example, if you’re tempted to blame your teacher for not explaining the material clearly, hold your tongue.

Decide what you can do to learn the material. Are there notes you can refer to? Are there videos that you can find online? Would it help if you clarify your doubts with your teacher outside of class time?

If you take this proactive approach, you’ll find that there’s almost always something you can do to take ownership of the situation.

Taking responsibility for your life may seem scary at first.

But it will actually give you a greater sense of control and autonomy, because it puts you in the driver’s seat of your life.

10. “I’ll try to…”

When you say that you’ll “try” to do something, you’re not making a firm commitment to take action. All you’re promising to do is “try”.

This gives you a convenient way out if things don’t go smoothly.

Instead of saying that you’ll try to take notes in class, say that you will take notes in class.

Instead of saying that you’ll try to get to bed before 10 pm, say that you will get to bed before 10 pm. If you need to, set an alarm for 9:45 pm every night as a reminder for you to get ready for bed.

Make an unwavering commitment to the positive changes you want to see in your life.

Conclusion

Are you guilty of any of the negative thought patterns listed in this article?

(To learn 3 bonus tips, download the free PDF summary below.)

If so, don’t be discouraged. It’s all too easy to give in to such thoughts.

The first step in changing these thought patterns is to become more aware of them.

The next time you find yourself falling into one of these thought patterns, ask yourself these two questions:

“Is this thought objectively true?”
“Is this thought helpful?”

Most of the time, the answer to those two questions is no. You can then start to have a healthier internal dialogue with yourself.

By becoming more intentional about the thoughts you think, you’ll be on your way to developing better beliefs.

In turn, this will enable you to find meaning, fulfilment and success in your life as a student!

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30 Ways to Deal With an Entitled Teenager (And Encourage Gratitude Instead)

Updated on March 23, 2022 By Daniel Wong 11 Comments

Note from Daniel: This is a guest post by Veronica Wallace.

Many parents are confused about how to deal with an entitled teenager.

They also fear that their teenager doesn’t appreciate what he or she has.

Entitlement is the opposite of gratitude.

When teenagers feel entitled, they become upset when they don’t get what they feel they deserve.

But when their lives are filled with gratitude, they express appreciation for the many good things they know they don’t deserve at all.

Here are 30 ways to fight entitlement and develop gratitude in your teenagers.

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How to deal with entitled teenagers

As a parent, there’s a lot you can do to fight entitlement and develop gratitude in your teenagers.

Try some of these strategies with your children and watch their perspectives begin to change.

1. Don’t just make your teens say “please” and “thank you”; explain to them why it’s important to do so sincerely

Many teens say “please” and “thank you” without sincerity.

They say it out of politeness, because their parents have trained them to use these “magic” words.

But warmth and sincerity matter more than politeness.

Encourage your children to say “please” and “thank you”, and explain to them how these words must come from a place of genuine gratitude.

Only when your children mean it each time will they cultivate a spirit of thankfulness.

2. Expect more from your teens

When you don’t expect anything of your children, they’ll expect everything of you.

Continuing to do everything for them is not how to deal with entitled teenagers.

Needing to earn something and being grateful to others for what you’ve earned is key.

Chores and responsibilities are powerful tools that will prevent your children from becoming entitled.

3. Establish boundaries

Creating boundaries is essential so that your teens understand that resources aren’t infinite.

Work with your children to establish boundaries related to spending, responsibilities, electronic devices, etc.

Show your children how you establish boundaries in your own life too.

4. Give your teens privileges that are tied to demonstrated responsibility

As far as possible, tie new privileges to demonstrated responsibility.

This will enable your teens to understand that they’ll reap what they sow.

For example, when your children keep to their curfew timing consistently for one month, their curfew timing could be extended by 15 minutes the following month.

5. Try role-playing with your teens

Teenagers who have not been practising gratitude may have a hard time expressing it when the opportunity presents itself.

To deal with entitled teenagers, help them learn how and when to express gratitude.

Role-playing scenarios in which your children could express gratitude will help them to turn gratitude into a habit.

6. Reduce the abundance in your home

One of my biggest tips for parenting teens and tackling entitlement is to remove abundance at home.

Teens who have less tend to be more grateful for what they have.

That’s why you don’t see many picky eaters around when food is scarce.

Be careful not to spoil your children by giving them whatever they want – a lack of abundance will help them to be grateful for what they have.

Reducing the abundance in your home will mean that you’ll need to make sacrifices too. But these sacrifices will be worth it when you observe your children becoming less entitled.

7. Explain the difference between wants and needs

Your children might want ice cream, but they need to eat balanced meals if they want to grow up healthy.

Help them understand the difference between wants and needs in various areas of life. As time goes by, they’ll be more appreciative whenever they get something they want (but don’t need).

8. Believe that your teens can change

Many parents have already decided that their teens are spoiled and entitled.

So every instance where their children behave in a way that seems mildly entitled confirms this belief.

Over time, these parents give up trying to fight the teenage entitlement mentality.

If you want your children to become more grateful, you must believe that change is possible.

Keep your eyes open to observe any progress that your children are making as you apply the tips in this article.

9. Model the desired behaviour for your teens

Thinking about how to deal with teenage attitude and entitled behaviour includes analysing your own behaviour.

Like it or not, your children will emulate you.

They’ll also be quick to point it out if they think you’re being hypocritical.

So take a good look in the mirror to evaluate the levels of entitlement vs. gratitude in your own life.

How often do you act entitled? How often do you express gratitude? Do you complain a lot?

Change your own behaviour and attitude, and you’ll see a change in your children.

10. Encourage your teens to keep a journal

Journalling is an excellent way to learn about your feelings and cultivate mindfulness.

Encourage your children to journal every day or week about the things they’re grateful for and the life lessons they’re learning.

Of course, if you encourage your children to do this, then you should do it too!

11. Distinguish between owed and given

Teenagers may think that they’re owed everything.

Have conversations with your children about what they deserve and what they’ve received because of the love and generosity of others.

12. Serve others as a family

Serving others is one of the best ways to deal with entitled teenagers and children.

Be the kind of person who goes out of his or her way to help others out. Encourage your children to do the same.

Talk about why serving others is a crucial part of life, and serve others together as a family.

As Sir Winston Churchill once said, “We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.”

13. Perform random acts of kindness

Do something nice for a family member, a friend, or even a stranger.

Get your teens involved in performing these random acts of kindness too.

It’s impossible for your children to become kinder without also becoming less entitled.

If you’re not used to performing such acts of kindness, it will feel strange at the start. So be sure to begin by taking tiny steps!

14. Talk about money and how much things cost

Teens sometimes think ATMs are magical machines that dispense money.

Providing opportunities to learn about the value of money is essential when dealing with entitled teenagers.

Explain to your children how much various things cost, e.g. groceries, electronic devices, restaurant meals, cars, houses.

Talk to them about the dangers of accumulating credit card debt, and explain to them how you’re being intentional about living within your means.

Teach them to ask the question, “Can I afford it?” But teach them that it’s even more important to ask the question, “Do I need it?”

After all, just because we can afford something doesn’t mean that we need to have it.

15. Create gratitude rituals

When dealing with entitled teenagers, put more opportunities in place to practise gratitude.

For example, once or twice a week before a family meal, you can go around the table and ask every family member to share one thing they’re thankful for.

16. Don’t lecture or nag your teens about gratitude

Instead of lecturing or nagging, have casual family discussions about gratitude whenever relevant situations arise.

Gratitude is a value that must be both taught and “caught” – caught through the day-to-day interactions within the family.

17. Talk about things in the past that you’re grateful for

It’s helpful if you occasionally talk to your children about things in the past that you’re thankful for – even things that seemed bad at the time.

For example, you might be grateful that you didn’t get your initial dream job, because the setback propelled you down an even more meaningful career path.

There are even cancer patients who talk about receiving the “gift” of cancer.

They call it a gift because it taught them to live more intentionally and purposefully.

18. Teach your teens to practise mindfulness

Mindfulness allows your teens to fully experience their own emotions and to become more self-aware.

In turn, this fosters gratitude.

Performing deep breathing exercises and focusing on doing just one activity at a time (e.g. eating a meal alone without doing anything else like using your phone) can help to develop the mindfulness habit.

19. Ask your teens open-ended questions

To better understand how and what your children are feeling, ask them open-ended questions.

This will enable you to have meaningful discussions with them about what gratitude is and how to cultivate it.

20. Develop a family culture of empathy

Building empathy is a great way to deal with entitled teenagers.

Help your children to put themselves in other people’s shoes.

Ask them about why they think other people reacted the way they did in various situations.

The more often they try to empathise with others, the better they’ll understand the feelings of others.

Empathy and compassion are wonderful tools that enable gratitude to flourish.

21. Limit screen time

When teenagers indulge in screen time, their focus is largely on themselves.

During screen time, these are the typical questions that they’re asking themselves:

What fun do I want to have?
Which apps are the most entertaining to me?
What videos do I want to watch?
What should I post on social media?
Which games do I feel like playing?

Of course, screen time isn’t all bad. But you can see how it promotes self-centred thinking.

In contrast, empathy, compassion and gratitude are focused on others.

So it’s important that you have a family discussion about setting limits for screen time for everyone in the family – including you!

If you show that you’re intentional about limiting your own screen time, your children will be more open to having limits on their screen time too.

22. Help your teens to develop a growth mindset

A growth mindset is one that’s focused on the process and on learning from both your successes and failures.

A growth mindset for students is instrumental in developing the right kind of motivation. As your children begin to see every challenge as an opportunity, they’ll become more thankful for the obstacles in their path.

23. Be charitable

Donate to charities and volunteer on a regular basis.

Involve your teens in these activities, so that they’ll be exposed to the many needs that exist in society.

As a result, they’ll become more compassionate and less entitled.

24. Live a life of love

Be a person who is always showing love toward others.

Gratitude is a key component of love, and vice versa. One can’t exist fully without the other.

In practical ways, show love and concern for your family, your friends, and strangers.

The more love your family shows toward others, the more gratitude you and your children will express.

25. Empower your teens to become independent

When your teens are dependent on you for almost everything, they’ll feel entitled to everything they get.

If teens are too dependent on their parents, they feel powerless yet entitled. This is a bad combination.

Let go of the reins bit by bit.

Allow your children to gain confidence as they make more decisions, and take full responsibility for those decisions.

The more problem-solving abilities they develop and the more mature they become, the more they’ll appreciate the resources they have access to.

26. Do things that require more time and effort, and less money

When your teens see you spending money, it can often seem too easy to them.

By tapping a few times on your phone or swiping your credit card at a store – just like that, you’ve made a purchase.

Your children don’t see the hard work that went into earning the money that you’re spending.

This disconnect subconsciously breeds a sense of entitlement in your children.

Entitled teenagers continue to expect rewards even when they’ve only put in minimal effort.

That’s why it’s better to do things that require more time and effort, and less money, whenever possible.

When your children see the effort that goes into organising a camping trip or helping a neighbour move to a new home, they’ll understand the value of hard work.

Over time, as they develop a stronger work ethic, they’ll become more grateful.

After all, have you ever met someone with a strong work ethic and a positive attitude who was also entitled?

27. Find a mentor for your teens

It can sometimes be difficult to discuss issues related to entitlement and gratitude with your teens.

That’s why it’s beneficial for your teens to have a mentor.

Teenagers are far more likely to thrive when they have a mentor or coach.

A mentor can help your children to reflect on their weaknesses and develop a more holistic perspective. This is essential in order for them to mature and grow.

28. Write thank-you notes

Nowadays, it’s rare for people to send handwritten thank-you notes.

Be one of those people who does it. It’s a thoughtful gesture that doesn’t take much time.

Encourage your children to write thank-you notes to their teachers and friends at the end of each semester, or whenever the opportunity arises.

29. Experiment

There are many recommendations listed in this article.

Try out a few of these methods at a time and see which ones work best for you and your family.

The more consistent you are about experimenting with the tips, the greater success you’ll see.

30. Start small

Don’t try to implement all of these tips at once – that would be too overwhelming for both you and your teens.

Start small and be patient. Write down and track exactly which tips you’re implementing each week.

Day by day, you’ll observe positive changes in your children as you develop a family culture of gratitude.

Encouraging gratitude in entitled teens is an ongoing process

Cultivating a spirit of gratitude is a lifelong process.

There are times when all of us could be more grateful and less entitled.

Through the process of teaching your teens about gratitude, you’ll sometimes feel frustrated.

When this happens, remind yourself of how thankful you are to be a parent, to have the daily opportunity to lead and empower your children.

Being a parent is challenging, but it’s also a privilege.

This is a privilege to be grateful for! 🙂

Veronica Wallace is a childhood educator, writer and blogging enthusiast. She loves applying her knowledge of writing to new content pieces.

FREE E-BOOK: Get your copy of 16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager. The e-book has already been downloaded by many thousands of parents, so don't miss out!

Parents, Stop Telling Your Kids to Study Hard for Their Own Good (And What to Do Instead)

Updated on November 2, 2022 By Daniel Wong 44 Comments

Yes, it is for your kids’ own good that they study hard.

But you shouldn’t tell them that.

Why not?

Because if you do, they’ll be less likely to study hard.

(I’ve spoken to and worked with more than 20,000 students, so I say this with confidence.)

In this article, I’ll provide an explanation.

I’ll also share three tips to help your kids develop intrinsic motivation.

FREE E-BOOK: Get your copy of 16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager. The e-book has already been downloaded by many thousands of parents, so don't miss out!

Don’t expect your kids to get an education in school

This might sound strange, so hear me out.

We live in a world where knowledge abounds.

It’s incredible that most of this knowledge is available for free online – you just have to seek it out.

A couple of decades ago, to get an education you had almost no choice but to attend school.

But today, you can take courses on Khan Academy, Coursera, Udacity, Udemy, and other websites.

If you’re diligent about taking these courses, you’d acquire more skills and knowledge than you would in almost any traditional school.

This means that, over time, the diplomas and degrees that schools give out will matter less.

It also means that students shouldn’t go to school expecting to get an education. Rather, school should form just one part of a student’s education.

In the future, diplomas and degrees won’t be the ticket to a well-paying job and a comfortable life. (This is already starting to be the case.)

But for now, such certificates still matter.

Statistics show that students who perform better in school are more likely to get jobs that pay better.

And students who study hard are obviously more likely to perform well in school.

Which means that if you want to motivate your kids, you should tell them to work hard in school for their own benefit, right?

Wrong.

Allow me to explain.

3 reasons it’s ineffective to tell your kids to study hard for their own good

Reason #1: Students today aren’t hungry for a “better life”

In developed countries today, most children and teenagers have more material things than they need.

More toys than they need.

More shoes than they need.

More clothes than they need.

More electronic devices than they need.

In contrast, one or two generations ago, most people experienced real hardship.

For example, my parents and grandparents grew up with far less (materially speaking) than I did.

From an early age, it was obvious to my parents that if they wanted to have a more comfortable life in the future, they needed to work hard in school.

Their teachers and parents told them that education was the key to success – and in that era, it was true. [Read more…]

50 Words of Wisdom Every Student Needs to Hear

Updated on November 2, 2022 By Daniel Wong 51 Comments

I completed my formal education some years ago.

Thinking about the 17 years I spent in school, I realise that I would have had a more fulfilling time if I’d been wiser.

It takes time to acquire wisdom. To help students through this process, I decided to write this article, in which I’ll share 50 words of wisdom every student should hear.

If you apply the advice in this article, I’m confident that you’ll become a happier and more successful student.

(Download the free PDF below to learn 10 bonus tips.)

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Enter your email below to download a PDF summary of this article. The PDF contains all the tips found here, plus 10 exclusive bonus tips that you’ll only find in the PDF.

1. Don’t take your parents for granted. Your parents may nag you, and you may feel as if they don’t understand you. But they love you unconditionally, so appreciate them as often as you can.

2. Getting a bad grade isn’t the end of the world. In a few years, you won’t even remember most of your grades. If you get a bad grade, learn from your mistakes and prepare better for the next exam.

3. Use the Internet as a tool for education more than entertainment. The Internet can keep you entertained for hours. But with sites like Udemy, Udacity and How Stuff Works, the Internet can also make you a far more educated person.

4. Stress is a fact of life, but it should never become a way of life. This means that it’s normal to feel stressed and tired once in a while. But if you feel stressed and tired almost every day, then you need to reevaluate your life to see what you ought to be doing differently. [Read more…]

30 Unimportant Things That Young People Should Stop Worrying About

Updated on October 8, 2021 By Daniel Wong 30 Comments

Let’s be honest.

We all spend time thinking about or doing unimportant things.

It can take a lot of time and energy, and it distracts us from the things that do matter.

Children and teenagers are particularly prone to this. I admit that I was definitely like this when I was younger as well!

I’ve spoken to and worked with more than 20,000 students thus far. Based on my experiences and observations, I’ve come up with this list of things that young people need to realise are not important in life.

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1. How many friends or followers you have on social media

Many people measure their self-worth by the number of friends or followers they have on social media, but this isn’t important in the long run.

Those followers won’t help you when you have a rough day, and they won’t support you when you’re feeling down.

They’ll just post images to show the best parts of their lives – too much time spent on social media leads to depression for this very reason.

2. How many “likes” you get on social media

The number of “likes” or comments on a social media post can seem important. It can seem like an indication of your popularity.

The thing to remember is that the number of likes you get isn’t nearly as important as the number of true friends you have. Nor is it as important as the relationships you have with your family members.

3. Living in the past

Everyone can get caught up living in the past. Either reliving the good times, or rehashing mistakes you’ve made.

According to research conducted by Matt Killingsworth, we’re happiest when we live in the moment.

So make the decision to be fully present wherever you are. [Read more…]

You Weren’t Born to Just Get Good Grades, Get a Good Job and Die

Updated on May 7, 2020 By Daniel Wong 10 Comments

As a society, what are our goals and aspirations?

Based on my observations, it’s to get good grades, get a good job, and then die.

That might sound strange or morbid, so allow me to explain.

I work with children and teenagers to help them make the most of their potential. As such, I interact with many parents on a daily basis.

These are some of the most common things I hear from parents:

“I want my child to get good grades so that he can get into a good school.”
“I don’t expect my child to get straight As, but her grades should be good enough.”
“I want my child to do well enough so that he can get a good job in the future.”
“I hope my child will be able to get into a good profession like medicine or law.”

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to get good grades or a good job. (By the way, the title of this article was inspired by a poster I saw that read, “You weren’t born to just pay bills and die.”)

But it seems like in our society, getting good grades and getting a good job aren’t just goals or concerns. They’re obsessions.

They’re what we spend most of our waking hours striving toward tirelessly.

They’re what we seem to think the point of education is – and possibly the point of life, too.

Of course, most of us would declare that we absolutely do not believe that the purpose of life is to get good grades, get a good job, and then die.

But given how much we emphasize to our children the importance of succeeding academically and getting a well-paying job, it would be hard to claim otherwise.

After all, it’s the story that’s been told for generations . . .

Study hard, so that you’ll do well academically.

So that you can get into a good school.

So that you can get a good diploma or degree.

So that you can get a good job.

I question the truth of this story, because we live in an information age where new opportunities abound. So the path to having a rewarding career is no longer that simple or direct – but that’s not the focus of this article.

I want to question the belief underlying the “get good grades and a good job” story, not the accuracy of the story itself.

The fundamental belief is that getting a good job – traditionally defined as a job that’s stable and lucrative – is the key to success and happiness.

What could be more inspiring than the hope of attaining success and happiness, right?

But few people wake up every morning feeling thrilled at the prospect of spending the day in the pursuit of good grades or a good job.

It’s more common for people to ask themselves, “Isn’t there more to life than just trying to get good grades or a good job?”

One reason the “get good grades and a good job” story isn’t inspiring is that it’s all about you.

Why do I say that?

I mean, shouldn’t you be inspired by a story that’s all about yourself? [Read more…]

9 Things Students Have to Be Thankful for (but Usually Aren’t)

Updated on August 11, 2021 By Daniel Wong 9 Comments

Students have so many things they complain about, right?

Too much homework.

Naggy parents.

Not enough money.

Early mornings.

Strict teachers.

The list goes on and on.

When I was a student, I used to complain about everything. But one day I realized that the antidote to complaining is gratitude.

So after reading this article, I felt inspired to come up with a list of nine things that students have to be thankful for – but usually aren’t.

Here’s the list:

1. Naggy parents = People who love you unconditionally

2. Internet/phone/TV restrictions = Parents who care about your future

3. No pocket money to buy the coolest clothes = Learning the difference between wants and needs

4. Homework = Opportunity to acquire new knowledge and skills

5. Early school day mornings = Getting a quality education

6. Tests and exams = Valuable feedback on your learning progress

7. Group projects = Learning collaboration and interpersonal skills

8. Difficult concepts and topics = Developing perseverance

9. Mandatory subjects you dislike = Growing in patience

It’s natural to focus on the negative things in life, rather than the positive.

But to find long-term happiness and success, we must cultivate the habit of gratitude.

I hope this article helps you to do that in a small way. 🙂

Please “like” this article and share it with your friends.

Image: Happy student