Daniel Wong

8 Truths That Successful Students Understand

Updated on January 6, 2026 By 15 Comments

Students

Through my work with more than 20,000 students so far, I’ve begun to see what separates successful students from not-so-successful ones.

And I’m not just talking about academic performance. I’m talking about their overall development, and their willingness to learn and grow, even through disappointments.

The key doesn’t lie in successful students’ innate intelligence or how many study tips they know.

Instead, the foundation of their success lies in their beliefs — the truths they take to heart.

These are the eight most important truths that successful students both understand and embrace:

1. Life is challenging

Many students expect life to be relatively easy. They know that hard work is important, but they don’t believe they’ll need to work that hard to get what they want.

For example, I once gave a talk to an auditorium filled with 18-year-old students. At the end of the talk, a student came up to me and said, “Thank you for the talk, Daniel! I’m feeling inspired. I’d like to ask you: What can I do to ensure that I find a fulfilling career in the future?”

After telling him that I appreciated his enthusiasm, I recommended that he start by reading two books, Do What You Are and What Color is Your Parachute?.

In an instant, a puzzled look washed over his face. He said dejectedly, “Oh, but I don’t like reading. I won’t be able to make it through two books…”

This student wanted to find a fulfilling career that would last him a few decades, but he wasn’t willing to read two books. Somehow, he believed that building a rewarding career shouldn’t take too much effort.

Unfortunately, this mindset is prevalent among students.

Successful students, on the other hand, understand that life is tough, but that overcoming challenges makes life more meaningful.

2. You can’t always choose your circumstances, but you can always choose your attitude

We all like to think that we’re in control of our lives. But there are so many aspects of our lives that are beyond our control. Of course, this doesn’t mean we shouldn’t plan ahead and make wise decisions.

Successful students realize that they can’t control what mood their teacher is in, or what the weather will be like, or how hard next week’s math test will be.

But they recognize that they can always choose their attitude, and how they respond to the circumstances they’re confronted with.

3. Your education is your responsibility, not your parents’

It seems like many parents today take more of an interest in their children’s academics than their children do.

I’ve met parents who sit right next to their children to ensure that their children complete their homework. These same parents develop a complete studying schedule for their children to follow, because their children have become over-reliant on them.

Just last week, I got to know a family where the father is planning to quit his job so he can monitor his 15-year-old son’s schoolwork more closely.

I don’t doubt that these parents have good intentions. But whose education is it? Is it the parents’ or the children’s?

Successful students understand that their education is their responsibility.

Parents can help by not micromanaging their children. Instead, parents can set medium-term goals together with their children. Every two months or so, parents can give the school teacher a brief call to see how their children are progressing. If the children aren’t living up to their end of the bargain, then the parents can mete out appropriate consequences.

4. Life doesn’t revolve around you

Many students ask themselves, “What can my parents/family do for me?” instead of asking, “What can I do for my parents/family?”

In order for students to find long-term success, they must realize that they’re not the center of the universe.

It’s their social responsibility to show consideration for other people’s feelings and needs, especially those of their family members.

Only then can students begin to cultivate an attitude of service, where they focus on adding value to other people, instead of obsessing over their own desires.

5. Blaming others gets you nowhere

It’s easy for students (and adults too) to blame others. Do any of the following sound familiar?

  • “The teacher is too boring. That’s why I didn’t do well on the test.”
  • “My parents are too naggy. That’s why I’m always moody.”
  • “The lesson wasn’t engaging. That’s why I couldn’t pay attention.”

These complaints may be valid. But taking full responsibility for your education and your life means that you don’t blame other people for how you’ve been feeling, or the disappointments you’ve been experiencing.

Instead, successful students continually ask themselves this vital question: “What is one thing I can do right now to make the situation better?”

This enables them to focus on what they can control, instead of what they can’t.

6. Managing yourself is more important than managing your time

Students today face more distractions than ever before.

Texting. YouTube. Facebook. Twitter. Instagram. Blogs. Online games. And the rest of the Internet.

Students must learn to manage their time and their priorities, but they must first learn to manage themselves.

They must acquire the skills of eliminating distractions, fighting off temptations, and finding intrinsic motivation.

If they don’t, they won’t feel motivated to study, and they’ll succumb to the onslaught of entertainment options available to them 24/7.

7. You’re entitled to few things in life, if at all

80% of the students I work with have a strong sense of entitlement. They feel entitled to:

  • Use their home computer any time they wish
  • Own a smartphone
  • Have a messy room, if they so choose
  • Lead a comfortable life

They don’t grasp the fact that these aren’t entitlements; they’re privileges. And privileges aren’t given. They’re earned.

Successful students work hard to earn these privileges, knowing that they could lose these privileges if they’re not careful.

8. No one’s perfect, but there’s always room to improve

I’ve worked with a number of students who have unrealistic expectations of themselves, and who place an overwhelming pressure on themselves to perform.

These perfectionist tendencies (most common among those who are the first-born or who are an only child) can lead to serious psychological issues down the road, such as depression and suicidal thoughts.

So if you’re a parent reading this, don’t take it lightly if your child is a perfectionist.

But successful students realize that there’s no such thing as perfection.

They turn their attention away from achievements and the end result. Instead, they focus on improving and developing. They concentrate on the factors that are within their control: their effort and attitude.

Ironically, these students perform better by choosing not to focus on their performance.

The bottom line

If you want your children to become happy and successful, they must accept these eight truths. As parents, our role is to influence and inspire our children to understand these truths, and then live them out.

Is it an easy task? Definitely not.

But I’m convinced that it’s worth the effort. 🙂

7 Phrases That Children Need To Hear From Their Parents

Updated on January 6, 2026 By 32 Comments

Listening

Are you worried that your children aren’t as motivated and hardworking as they should be?

It’s natural that parents want their children to succeed.

Through my work with students, I’ve realized just how much the parent-child relationship affects the child’s development, both emotionally and mentally.

No surprises there.

The stronger the relationship, the better the chances of the child becoming a well-adjusted, successful adult.

This article lists seven simple phrases that will help you to build that relationship.

The more often you use the phrases – I’m not asking you to repeat them every moment of every day, though! – the more likely it is that your child will grow up feeling safe, secure and self-confident. That’s the foundation of long-term success and happiness.

Here are the seven phrases:

1. “I love you”

This is an obvious but vital one.

Children need to know that you love and accept them unconditionally. You might feel awkward about saying “I love you” to your children, especially if it isn’t part of your family culture. But I encourage you to say it at least once a month. If you say it once a week or once a day, even better.

95% of the teenagers I work with confess to me that they feel as though their parents love them more when they perform well in school or in their other activities.

In extreme cases, these children grow up believing that they’ll never be good enough. This can cause them to be unmotivated, or to exhibit other behavioral problems.

The simple solution?

Say “I love you” to your children. Often.

2. “Go for it!”

Of course, if your children are about to do something dangerous or unethical, you shouldn’t tell them to “go for it.” You should step in.

But when they’re faced with a challenge that they’ll benefit from taking on, they need your encouragement to bolster their confidence.

Parents tend to be too cautious, because they take a short-term view of parenting. I’m a parent myself, so I know how tempting this can be.

I believe that the goal of parenting isn’t to shelter our children or to provide them with a comfortable life. It’s to prepare them for adulthood, where they won’t just survive – they’ll thrive.

Adulthood is full of challenges, so in childhood and adolescence your kids need all the practice they can get in overcoming them.

To do that, they’ll need your support, and for you to tell them, “Go for it!”

3. “I’m proud of you”

I recommend that you say this to your children frequently, and not just when they’ve accomplished something remarkable.

Being proud of your children for what they’ve done is different from being proud of them for who they are.

There’s nothing wrong with being proud of your children for what they’ve achieved. But they need to know that you’ll still be proud of them, even if they don’t achieve anything impressive.

Whenever you observe your children displaying kindness, generosity, humility, courage, or any other positive behavior, take the opportunity to say, “I’m proud of you.”

Don’t underestimate the tremendous power of this simple phrase.

4. “I believe in you”

For many people, childhood and adolescence are times of self-doubt.

Am I capable enough?

What will people think of me if I fail?

Do I have what it takes?

Why can’t I be as smart as Tim, or as popular as Jaime?

These are the kinds of questions that children ask themselves.

In the midst of their doubt, they need you to be their loyal advocate, their ardent fan.

It breaks my heart when teenagers tell me that their parents are their biggest critic, not their biggest fan. Their parents belittle them and put them down. On occasion, their parents even call them “useless” or “stupid.”

I’m blessed that, throughout my own life, my parents have told me that they believe in me – especially when I didn’t believe in myself. This gave me the confidence to dream big and dare to fail.

This is a gift that you can share with your children too, as you say to them, “I believe in you.”

5. “Will you forgive me?”

As a parent, you’re an authority figure in your home. Apologizing to your children is hard, because your pride is at stake.

But leaders go first. As a leader in your home, you must take the first step.

For example, if you’ve said something unkind during an argument with your child, be the first one to say, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. Will you forgive me?”

As you model this kind of humility, your children will develop new respect for you. This is also an excellent opportunity to show your children that we all make mistakes, but that it’s crucial to take responsibility for them.

6. “Will you show me how you did that?”

At some point, your children will know more about certain things than you. Maybe they already know more about social media or music or Internet marketing than you.

I know many parents who act as if they know more than their children in every area. When their children bring up almost any topic, these parents cut them off, jump to conclusions, or cast judgment.

Soon enough, these children stop communicating openly with their parents. “Why should I talk to my parents, when they don’t actually listen to what I have to say?” these children think.

So if your children know more about something than you, I encourage you to say, “That’s interesting. Tell me more.”

And if you see your children doing something you’re not able to, why not ask them, “Will you show me how you did that?”

A few days ago, I was waiting to get a haircut when I saw a 14-year-old boy playing with a Rubik’s cube. He solved the Rubik’s cube in less than 15 seconds. I was impressed!

The boy’s mother was sitting next to him. She remarked, “Wow! Will you show me how you did that?” Grinning with pride, the boy explained step-by-step how to solve a Rubik’s cube.

When you take a genuine interest in your children’s hobbies, they feel valued and respected. This is vital for a healthy parent-child relationship.

7. “I’m here for you”

As children get older, they want more independence. They want the freedom to make choices, and to chart their own course.

Parents may start to feel as if their children don’t want to have anything to do with them. But this isn’t the case.

Even the most rebellious teenagers I’ve worked with care about what their parents think, at some level.

If your children are in their teens, allow them to make as many of their own choices as possible. After all, they’re going to be adults in a few short years. They’ll appreciate your advice and counsel, as long as you make it clear that the final decision is theirs. Naturally, they must deal with the consequences of their choices too.

By saying “I’m here for you,” your children will know that you’re there to help if the going gets tough. This way, they’ll be more confident as they venture out into the world.

The bottom line

Parenting is an adventure that’s full of both frustration and joy, but it doesn’t have to be complicated.

That’s where these seven simple phrases come in.

Start small. Choose one phrase, and use it at least once in the coming month. The next month, add one more phrase to your repertoire.

Soon enough, you’ll be using all seven phrases as a habit. And you’ll be well on your way to bringing up happy and successful children – one day at a time, and one phrase at a time.

Image: Listening