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8 Ways to Get Your Teens to Do Chores

January 18, 2025 By Daniel Wong Leave a Comment

Teen refusing to do house choresAre you tired of nagging or yelling at your teens to do their chores?

Do they often grumble or come up with excuses to avoid helping with housework?

Maybe you have to deal with teenage attitude or a tantrum whenever you want your teenagers to get involved.

After a long day of school, extracurricular activities, and homework, the last thing any teenager wants to do is vacuum the floor or fold the laundry. So it’s no surprise that many parents are dealing with teens who don’t want to help out at home.

You don’t have to make your teens love chores for them to step up. But you can show them the importance of participating and encourage them to take responsibility for their assigned tasks.

While this might not be easy, getting them involved in housework is important.

It teaches them valuable skills for self-sufficiency and independence when they leave home. Plus, the research suggests that giving your teens chores can help them grow up to be happier and more successful.

To help you out, I’ll share some of the most effective strategies for getting your teenagers to do their chores.

Let’s dive in!

(If you have trouble getting your teens to listen to you, download the free quick action guide below.)

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1. Make it a family activity

When housework is divided fairly among all family members, helping out becomes part of the culture at home.

Getting everyone involved, including your teen’s younger siblings, is a good idea. While younger kids might not be able to do the same tasks as your teens, they can still help with simpler chores like setting or clearing the table.

The key is getting everyone to contribute.

If you’d like, you can also set aside one or two hours a week for the entire family to work on cleaning and maintaining the house together.

This can make chores feel more like a family activity instead of something your teenagers have to do.

2. Set clear expectations

Part of establishing good communication with your teens involves informing them of your expectations. You can set and communicate expectations clearly to help your teens understand their roles and tasks at home.

To do this, you can sit down as a family to create a weekly chore schedule.

This schedule will map out specific tasks for each family member. For instance, your teen might be assigned to do the laundry on Thursdays and help with the dishes every other weekday night.

This allows your teenagers to build a sense of accountability for their assigned tasks. It also encourages them to get into the habit of helping out at home.

You can also discuss the consequences of missed or overlooked chores. For example, your teen might be assigned an extra task on top of the missed chore.

3. Offer flexibility

Teenager cleaning windowsOne great way to get your teens involved is to offer more flexibility about how they do their chores. This can help your teens feel more in control, which might reduce resistance.

For example, you can let your teenagers decide when they want to do their chores.

While you might prefer having the clothes folded first thing in the morning, your teens might prefer to do it in the evening after dinner.

Flexibility can also apply to the type of chores they’re assigned. You may want to rotate tasks between your teenagers so they don’t get bored with the routine.

You can also let them swap tasks when they need to.

For example, your teenager might be responsible for doing the dishes on Tuesday nights. But let’s say he or she has an event on a coming Tuesday. In this case, your teen can exchange the task with another family member and do the dishes on a different day of the week.

4. Gamify the process

Occasionally, you can try “gamifying” certain chores.

Gamification is a concept where you utilize common elements associated with games. Examples include collecting points, leveling up, or trying to one-up your opponents. You then incorporate them into non-gaming activities.

One way to do this is by creating a reward system. For each chore completed, your teen will gain points. They can then redeem their collected points for various rewards, such as a later curfew or a new pair of shoes.

I recommend that you don’t overdo it though, because you want your teens to still get the message that it’s important for every family member to contribute through chores.

You don’t want your teens to think they’re doing you a favor by completing their chores, which is why they’re able to gain points and get rewards.

You can also turn chores into family challenges.

For example, folding the laundry might feel like a mundane task. But you can divide the family into two teams, split the pile of laundry, and see which team can fold their share the fastest and neatest.

This simple twist turns a routine chore into a lively game. Adding a small reward for the winning team can make it even more exciting and motivate everyone to pitch in with a smile!

5. Be a role model

Research shows that who teenagers choose to look up to can affect their physical and mental health in the long run. Based on the findings, family members have the strongest impact as role models.

As parents, we can be positive role models for our teens in various aspects of life. This includes how we handle household responsibilities. Taking the initiative with chores and managing tasks positively can inspire teens to adopt similar habits.

Of course, juggling work, family, and household responsibilities is tiring. And it’s understandably difficult to have a positive attitude toward housework after you’ve had a long day.

But when your teens see you meeting the same standards you expect from them, they’ll be more likely to follow suit.

You can even involve them in the tasks you’re working on. For example, you can prepare meals with your teens, turning a chore into a bonding activity.

6. Acknowledge your teens’ efforts

Teen ironing laundryAppreciating your teens’ contributions helps build a good attitude toward helping out.

A simple “thank you” or “I appreciate you taking out the trash” can go a long way. You can also highlight how their contributions have positively impacted you or the family.

Let’s say your teenage son took the time to make breakfast for the family.

You could tell him how his effort transformed your busy and stressful morning into an enjoyable experience.

If your teenage daughter helped to declutter the living room, you could express to her how much you appreciate relaxing in a clean and organized space.

Acknowledging your teens’ contributions will make them feel seen and appreciated. This also reinforces their positive behavior.

7. Encourage ownership

You can encourage your teens to take total ownership of their chores so they feel more involved and in control. This means allowing them to decide how they want to approach each task.

Let’s say your teenagers are tasked with cleaning their rooms. You can let them decide how to organize and store their belongings — as long as their space becomes neater.

Perhaps you would like them to help prepare a meal for the family. In this case, you can let them pick the recipe to work on or choose the ingredients.

Allowing them to make independent decisions will make your teenagers feel that their opinions are valued and important.

8. Provide guidance and feedback

Father teaching son how to cook barbecueWhile it’s a good idea to leave certain decisions to your teens, you might need to provide guidance and advice on how to carry out specific chores.

This might be especially helpful for younger teens who are still learning how to do certain tasks.

You can give your teenagers a few key tips or demonstrate how to do the task correctly to set them up for success and reduce frustration along the way.

Let’s say your teens haven’t learned to cook yet. You can teach them how to tell whether the food is cooked properly, how high or low the heat should be, or what cooking method to use.

You can also walk them through the cooking process and demonstrate the more complicated steps.

Maybe your younger teens aren’t exactly sure how to do the laundry. In this case, you can teach them the basics, like sorting by color. You can also remind them which fabrics can and cannot be machine-washed.

Another way to provide guidance is to teach them to adjust the washing machine and dryer settings based on the type of laundry.

Of course, this doesn’t mean they must follow your step-by-step instructions to a tee. Instead, you can offer guidance if you notice they’re having trouble with certain tasks or haven’t yet learned how to do them.

Think of it as being a supportive coach — you don’t micromanage, but you’re more than happy to step in and offer guidance when they need pointers.

Conclusion

Getting your teenagers to build the habit of helping out at home isn’t a quick or easy process.

It’s tempting to nag your teens to get them to help with chores, but this can backfire and cause a rift in your relationship with them.

Encouragement, good communication, and clear expectations are more likely to work. These approaches help teens understand that doing chores isn’t just a way to avoid punishment or getting yelled at.

Instead, your teens will see chores as opportunities to contribute to the family and learn valuable life skills.

(If you haven’t already downloaded your free quick action guide below, do it right away.)

FREE QUICK ACTION GUIDE: 

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10 Proven Ways to Get Your Teenager to Listen to You.


The tips are guaranteed to help you get through to your teen, so download your copy today!

Filed Under: Discipline, Parenting, Relationships, Teens

Anger Management for Teenagers: Practical Tips to Manage Your Emotions

January 14, 2025 By Daniel Wong 2 Comments

anger management for teensDo you often feel like you have no control over your anger?

Uncontrolled anger can cause problems. But even when we understand this, staying calm can still be challenging when things don’t go our way.

Sometimes, we might not know why we got angry, and once we cool down, feelings of guilt or helplessness may start to creep in.

No one wants to feel like their emotions control them. But if this is your experience, you’re not alone.

The fact that you’re reading this shows that you’ve already taken the first and most challenging step—realizing that it’s a problem.

In this article, I’ll discuss strategies for regaining control over your anger and becoming the best version of yourself.

(And if you want to improve your focus and reduce procrastination, download your free quick action guide below.)

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Is it normal for a teenager to be angry all the time?

Like happiness, sadness, or excitement, anger is a normal human emotion we’ve all experienced at some point in our lives.

Anger isn’t a destructive emotion. It can be a healthy way to express your feelings and advocate for positive change. In fact, anger may be justified when something unfair happens.

But this is only so when it’s kept under control.

As a teenager, anger is a feeling you may struggle to manage well.

At this stage of life, your body is going through many changes—physically, mentally, and socially. As a result, you might feel your emotions more intensely than before.

Knowing how to cope with these difficult feelings takes time and practice, so it’s okay if you’re still learning how to do that.

While sometimes feeling frustrated or angry is normal, you shouldn’t always feel that way.

Giving in to your anger all the time can have harmful consequences, especially when it leads you to engage in risky behavior.

Why are teenagers so angry?

angry teenager sitting in classroomTeenagers undergo many physical, mental, emotional, and social changes in this stage of life.

This can cause them to experience stronger emotions. Aside from this, there might be other underlying reasons why teenagers often become angry.

Some of these reasons include:

  • Struggling with family issues
  • Dealing with a mental health condition like depression
  • Going through difficult situations at school, such as bullying
  • Getting stressed because of schoolwork, assignments, or exams
  • Having friendship-related problems or conflicts

Reflecting on the possible causes might be helpful if you get angry often. This can be a great way to devise strategies that effectively target these root causes.

How to control your anger as a teenager

Learning to control your anger takes patience and practice.

Managing your anger doesn’t mean suppressing it or avoiding feeling it. It also doesn’t mean you have to find ways to control the situation or other people so they don’t upset you.

Instead, anger management boils down to controlling your response when you’re angry.

Let’s explore some anger management tips for teens that can help you take charge of your emotions and react more positively.

Anger management techniques for teens

calm teenager basking in the sunsetIn a moment of anger, it’s easy to become so caught up in our feelings that we do or say things we regret later on.

When you get angry, your first response may be to act immediately without thinking.

Instead of doing that, you can try the following tips to get your anger back in check and respond with wisdom:

  • Pay attention to early warning signs: Notice the first signs of anger, like a racing heartbeat, clenched fists, or faster breathing. If you catch these signals early, you can start taking steps to calm down before your anger turns into full-blown rage.
  • Think before speaking: It’s instinctive to say exactly what’s going through your mind in a moment of anger. The next time you feel angry, try to stop and collect your thoughts for a few seconds before speaking.
  • Remind yourself of the consequences: Before acting on your anger, take a brief moment to think about the possible outcome of your reaction. Will it sour your friendship with the other person? Will it get you into trouble with the school authorities? Will it impact your future?
  • Take a few deep breaths: Count to ten while taking deep breaths. Breathe slowly and try to relax your body each time you take a breath. This will give you some time to collect your thoughts.
  • Take a break: If you don’t think you’ll be able to control your response at that moment, make it a point to walk away. Once you’ve regained your cool, you can ask to discuss the issue again.
  • Pick your battles: Many situations aren’t worth your energy, emotions, or time. The next time you feel your blood boiling, ask yourself, “Is this worth me getting stressed or angry over?” In most cases, the answer would be “no.”

It will take consistent effort to change your instinctive reaction. The next time you get angry or frustrated, you can start by applying one or two of the tips above.

Good communication skills are also essential for resolving conflicts or arguments. Of course, it can be tempting to shout or throw a fit to have things go your way.

But expressing your thoughts and feelings calmly and clearly will improve the outcome.

Anger management activities for teens

teenagers playing basketballBecoming the master of your emotions takes practice.

You don’t have to wait for the next time you get angry to start learning how to manage your emotions better.

These are some strategies you can carry out daily to increase your control over your emotions in the long run:

  • Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness is the practice of being aware of the present moment and your feelings. It helps you develop a stronger awareness and sensitivity toward your own emotions. You can allocate 10-20 minutes a day to mindfulness training. During each session, find a quiet spot to sit and focus on your breathing. Practice returning your attention to your breathing each time you catch your mind wandering. Over time, you can develop this into a good habit that can help you manage your anger.
  • Exercise: Exercise improves your physical and mental health. It releases feel-good hormones, helps you sleep better, and reduces stress. This can help you tackle frustrating situations with a calmer mind.
  • Start journaling: Write down your feelings and what your triggers are. Reflect on the most common reasons you got angry, how you responded, and what you could have done better. You can also reflect on the consequences of your response.
  • Try other relaxation techniques: Pilates and deep breathing are some examples. These techniques can soothe muscle tension and make it easier for you to relax.
  • Pick up a hobby: Try exploring different fun or relaxing activities. They can serve as an outlet for you to reduce your anger, stress, and tension. Drawing, painting, reading, or exercising are all examples of hobbies that can help you blow off steam.

If you find that you’re getting angry more often than not, you might be struggling with anger management issues.

It’s vital to seek the help of a professional if your anger often leads to violent or impulsive behaviors. A therapist or coach can help you devise a management plan so you don’t have to navigate these challenges alone.

Conclusion

Knowing how to control intense emotions, such as anger, can lead to many benefits.

You’ll be able to communicate more effectively and develop stronger relationships. You’ll also experience less stress, make better decisions, and feel more confident in your ability to take on challenges.

So, while managing your anger isn’t easy, it’s definitely something to work on while you’re still in the teenage years!

(Make sure to download your free quick action guide below.)

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Filed Under: Attitude, Discipline, Emotions, Teens

Screen Time for Teens: Get Your Teens to Unplug by Applying These 4 Principles

October 2, 2024 By Daniel Wong 2 Comments

How to limit screen time for teenagers

Are you concerned that your teens spend too much time on their phones?

There’s nothing wrong with teens using digital devices, but excessive use is a problem.

The data shows that many teens spend up to 9 hours a day on various devices.

So you’re not alone if you have concerns about your teens’ screen time.

Of course, it’s essential to first understand where to draw the line between “normal” and unhealthy smartphone use.

In this article, I’ll discuss what excessive screen time looks like and how you can help your teens manage their screen time.

Why too much screen time can be unhealthy

Research suggests that too much screen time can lead to changes in the brain and body.

The following are some of the possible effects of excessive screen time:

  • Changes in brain development. During this stage of life, your teenager’s brain is developing rapidly. Excessive screen time can hinder this growth.
  • Lack of sleep. Light emitted by screens can interfere with the release of a sleep hormone called melatonin. Poor sleep can affect your teen’s mood, focus, and health.
  • Poor eyesight. Too much screen time increases the risk of eye strain and vision problems. Examples include eye fatigue, blurred vision, and irritated or burning eyes.
  • Neck and back pain. Long hours spent craning their necks over their devices can contribute to poor posture in teens. This can lead to neck and back pain.
  • Neglecting important responsibilities. Some teenagers neglect their important tasks. For instance, they might not study, finish their homework, or help with the household chores.
  • Mood changes: Many teenagers use their devices to cope with stress or unpleasant emotions. They might even feel anxious or irritated when they don’t have their phones with them.

Of course, this doesn’t mean digital devices are inherently bad for teens. It all depends on how your teens use them.

(If your teens sometimes lack motivation, make sure to download your free e-book below.)

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What is a “normal” amount of screen time for teens?

How much time should teens be spending on their devices?

The general guideline is that teens should spend no more than two hours a day on screens. But research shows that most teenagers don’t follow this recommendation.

A good way to gauge if your teenagers are using their phones too much is by observing their behavior. Look for signs of excessive smartphone use, which include the following:

  • Always having their phones with them wherever they are
  • Experiencing irritability, anxiousness, or restlessness when they’re without their phones
  • Getting lower grades and missing homework and assignment deadlines
  • Avoiding face-to-face social interactions with friends and family
  • Getting insufficient sleep

If you spot these signs, it’s best to work with your teenager to limit his or her screen time.

How to limit your teenager’s screen time

Taking away your teen’s phone entirely can be tempting, but this can backfire.

Doing so may cause your teens to become rebellious or find ways to use their devices without your knowledge. It might also affect your relationship with them.

Instead, try the following strategies to limit your teenagers’ screen time:

Principle #1: Establish clear rules and guidelines

Family having a garden dinner without phonesSetting screen time rules for teens is foundational.

Find a time to sit down and discuss these guidelines with your teenagers. It also helps to explain the reasoning behind such boundaries.

At the same time, you can also set consequences for breaking these house rules. Make sure that these consequences are related to the misbehavior.

For example, let’s say your teens keep using their devices instead of completing their homework. If so, you might need to keep your teens’ phones in another room until they finish their assignment.

You can expect some resistance from your teens. But try to be consistent and firm, while also taking the time to understand the situation from your teens’ perspective.

Here are some tips to keep in mind when setting boundaries for smartphone use:

Set time limits

Discuss how long your teens can be on their phones each day.

Instead of making a drastic cut, you can encourage them to gradually reduce their screen time.

Additionally, you can get your teens to track their screen time. Most phones have a built-in feature that allows users to do this.

Create screen-free zones

Designate screen-free zones in your home. One such zone might be the dining table.

During family meals, encourage your teens to put their devices away and join in the conversation at the dining table.

Establish tech-free times

Setting rules related to tech-free times can also help teens control their mobile phone usage.

Here are some examples;

  • Put away all devices at least an hour before bed
  • Avoid using your phone while doing schoolwork
  • Don’t use your phone during family gatherings

Principle #2: Encourage alternative activities

Mother and daughter spending time togetherMany teens use their devices to keep themselves entertained.

Unfortunately, many mobile games, apps, and social media platforms are designed to keep them hooked for as long as possible.

To get your teens off their phones, encourage them to pursue different interests and passions by doing things like:

Explore new hobbies

To motivate your teenagers to unplug and explore other hobbies, here are some strategies to try:

  • Offer to pay for the necessary equipment, tools, or materials, like a painting set or sports equipment
  • Give them a ride to the activities or events
  • Attend important events, competitions, or concerts your teen is participating in
  • Show an interest in their hobbies

Engage in family activities

Scheduling family time is another excellent way to keep teenagers off their phones. This will also give you great opportunities to connect with your teens.

You can set a regular time each week where you spend it together as a family.

Try to let your teenagers take turns picking an activity for family time. This will make them feel more involved, and they’ll be more interested in participating.

You can even tell them that they can invite a friend along.

Encourage the adoption of healthy coping mechanisms

At this stage of life, teenagers are still learning to deal with big and complex emotions. So they might turn to their phones to escape these feelings or fill an emotional void.

While this isn’t wrong if done in moderation, the danger lies in your teens developing an addiction.

Your teens might become reliant on their phones and feel anxious or irritable without them.

To prevent this from happening, do your best to develop a strong relationship with your teens. Be present if they need someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on.

As they learn to trust and confide in you, you can help them develop healthy and effective coping mechanisms. Some examples include deep breathing, journaling, and exercise.

Principle #3: Lead by example

Father and son using smartphoneIt’s normal for teenagers to pick up certain habits and behaviors from their parents. Because of this, the way you manage your own screen time will likely also rub off on them.

Here are some things you can try:

Model the right behavior for your teens

Do your best to “walk the talk.”

Telling your teens to act a certain way while doing the opposite will increase the resistance you get from them.

If you want your teens to build good habits, model these habits for your teens.

When setting rules and boundaries for your teens related to screen time, it’s best to also follow them yourself whenever possible.

Share tech breaks with your teens

A tech break is where you put your devices away for a specific amount of time.

This can be done in many different ways. Examples include going on a short family getaway or taking a walk outside without bringing any devices along.

Consider sharing these tech breaks with your teens. This will cause you and your teenagers to be even more engaged in your interactions.

Discuss mindful device usage with your teens

For many smartphone users, unlocking your phone to reply to one text can unintentionally turn into an hour of scrolling through social media.

Discuss the mindful usage of smartphones with your teenagers. Here are some approaches that will increase your level of mindfulness related to technology:

  • Be aware of when and why you take out your phone
  • Keep track of your phone usage using an app or timer
  • Decide which notifications you’ll turn off
  • Reflect on how you feel after using your phone for an extended period
  • Lock or uninstall distracting apps

Principle #4: Foster digital literacy and responsibility

Mother and son using computerYour teens are still learning about the pros and cons of technology.

Educating them early on can help them avoid the dangers that are present online and encourage them to be responsible and accountable.

Here are some things you can do to help them:

Discuss the effects of screen time

Are you tired of nagging your teen to get off his or her phone?

Instead of lecturing your teens, turn it into a two-way discussion.

Talk about the pros and cons of technology with your teens, and keep the conversations short. You can also talk to them about how they can stay safe online.

Set specific goals

You can set goals together with your teenagers. And if you think it might work for your teenagers, make it a friendly competition between you and them.

Here are some examples of goals you and your teenagers might decide to pursue:

  • Cutting back on screen time by an hour each day
  • Taking a break from social media over the weekend
  • Keeping phone usage to less than 3 hours a day

Encourage self-control and self-regulation

The temptation for your teens to constantly be on their phones or social media is a big one.

Help your teens develop self-control and discipline when using their devices by doing the following:

  • Encourage your teens to put their devices away when it’s time to focus
  • Acknowledge their progress when they make an effort to manage their screen time
  • Introduce time management techniques to them, e.g., create a daily plan, use the Pomodoro technique

Conclusion

Ever-accessible technology is here to stay. So managing their use of technology is a life skill teens must learn.

Teach your teens to make wise choices, set limits, and become more mindful of their phone usage.

It might not be easy, but it’ll be worth it. With your guidance, your teens will build healthy habits that will benefit them well into adulthood!

(If you haven’t already downloaded your free e-book, I encourage you to do so below.)

FREE E-BOOK:

16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager (Cover)

Get your FREE copy of

16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.


The e-book has already been downloaded by many thousands of parents, so don't miss out!

Filed Under: Discipline, Parenting, Teens

15 House Rules for Teens: Establishing Healthy Boundaries and Habits

Updated on February 21, 2025 By Daniel Wong 11 Comments

teenager house rulesAs a parent, you’ve probably wondered to yourself, “How can I set rules without being too strict on my teens?”

Finding the right balance can be tricky.

Teenagers need the space and freedom to make their own decisions and learn from their mistakes.

But, at the same time, you’ll still need to set rules to guide your teens and cultivate good values.

Teenagers require discipline and guidance when they veer off course. But this should be done in a way that encourages positive behavior without stifling them.

In this article, I’ll share some advice on how you can set effective house rules for your teens in various areas.

(If your teens sometimes lack motivation, make sure to download the free e-book below.)

FREE E-BOOK:

16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager (Cover)

Get your FREE copy of

16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.


The e-book has already been downloaded by many thousands of parents, so don't miss out!

Why are rules necessary for teens?

Research shows that the human brain fully matures around the age of 25.

Before then, your teens’ judgment and decision-making skills are still developing. Plus, teenagers tend to make many decisions based on how they feel.

This can make them more likely to engage in risky behaviors and make poor decisions.

Rules encourage your teens to make healthy choices and logical decisions. These boundaries maintain the safety and well-being of your teens and those around them.

By setting house rules for your teens, you’re also teaching them essential life skills and values to help them succeed as adults.

In addition, having proper rules in place can prevent unnecessary conflicts that stem from misaligned expectations.

How to implement house rules for your teens

Here are some tips for setting effective rules that also respect your teens’ need for independence:

  • Bring your teens into the conversation. Communicate with your teenagers about the rules you plan on creating, and listen attentively to their opinion.
  • Be specific and concise when creating new rules. “You’re not allowed to be on your phone” is vague. Instead, you could say something like, “Let’s put our phones away when we’re at the dinner table and an hour before bed.”
  • Avoid being overly restrictive. Be open to negotiating with your teens and understand their perspective on what counts as being too restrictive.
  • Stick to the rules yourself as far as possible. Set “family rules” instead of “rules that the kids have to follow.” This way, your teens won’t accuse you of hypocrisy.
  • Set consequences for breaking the rules. Always follow through with these consequences, and ensure that the consequences are logical and reasonable.
  • Use positive reinforcement. Verbal affirmation and granting privileges based on demonstrated responsibility are ways to reinforce good behavior.

List of house rules for teens

Go through this list of house rules and pick those that align with your family’s values and principles.

It’s a good idea to have a discussion with your teenagers about the rules before writing down the finalized version of the rules.

1. Stick to your curfew

wrist watch

Having a curfew builds accountability and time management skills in teenagers.

It also ensures that they get enough sleep and protects them from dangerous situations that are more likely to occur late at night.

Here are a few pointers to keep in mind when setting a curfew for your teens:

  • Discuss the curfew timing with your teens. They may have a different curfew for weekdays and weekends.
  • Be flexible when it comes to special occasions, e.g., prom, birthday parties.
  • Set the curfew in advance, and don’t allow for spontaneous changes.

2. Finish your assigned chores

Try to avoid assigning chores randomly. Instead of asking your teens to do a chore right there and then, assign them tasks ahead of time.

Give them a window of time to complete a routine chore and then leave it up to them to choose when they’d like to do it.

For example, they may be assigned to laundry duty every Thursday, but whether they wish to do it in the morning or evening is their choice.

3. Finish your homework first

Before they boot up a video game or head out to play basketball, make it a rule that they need to complete their homework for the day first.

The best way to get your teens to do their homework is by establishing a routine they can commit to.

You can talk to them about setting up a weekly schedule that specifies when they’ll do their homework each day in general.

Encourage them to write down and prioritize their assignments based on complexity and urgency.

4. Manage your screen time

Studies have found that teens spend up to 9 hours a day on average on electronic devices.

Research shows that excessive screen time can lead to health issues, lower self-esteem, and poorer mental health.

But it’s pretty easy for teenagers to become addicted to their phones.

Here’s how you can set rules to manage your teens’ screen time:

  • Have a general schedule for screen time. This will likely be different on weekdays compared to weekends.
  • Set restrictions on device use. For example, your teens shouldn’t be on their phones during dinner time.
  • Have a cut-off time at night. Experts generally advise putting away electronic devices an hour or two before bed.

As far as possible, you should follow these rules too to set a good example for your teens.

5. No bullying or disrespect

Teenage boyThe emotional part of teenagers’ brains tends to be more dominant than that of adults.

So teens may do or say disrespectful things in a moment of frustration or anger.

Here’s how you can teach your teens to manage their emotions and behavior better:

  • Discuss with your teens what behaviors are considered disrespectful and unacceptable (e.g., name-calling, using foul language, yelling).
  • Encourage your teens to be empathetic. For instance, you can try to involve them in volunteer work.
  • Point out disrespectful behaviors when you spot them, but do so calmly.
  • Discuss how your teens can handle conflicts with other people.

What’s also important is being a good role model. For instance, listen to your teens without interrupting them and extend basic courtesies to them.

6. Communicate honestly and openly

It’s reasonable to ask your teens to keep you in the loop about various things when they go out, including:

  • Where they’ll be
  • Who they’ll be with
  • When they’ll be back
  • How they’ll get to their destination
  • If there will be any adults at the event

They should inform you about changes in their plans or if they’ll be home later than usual.

Of course, you should refrain from being overly protective.

Calling them frequently or tracking their location without a good reason can backfire, as this shows a lack of trust in them.

7. Use social media responsibly

90% of teens between the ages of 13 and 18 have used social media.

If your teens are active on social media, here are some ground rules to consider implementing:

  • Never reveal your location or personal details to strangers online.
  • Don’t post anything that you wouldn’t want everyone else to see.
  • Don’t bully or talk bad about other people online.
  • Don’t post your every move on social media.
  • Avoid posting offensive content.

Remind your teens that anything on social media can be publicly shared. They should also be vigilant about who they’re talking to online.

8. Be financially responsible

You can prepare your teens for adulthood by teaching them to make wise and responsible money-related decisions.

The following are some ways to implement rules related to finances:

  • Encourage your teens to set a savings goal, and have them deposit a certain amount of money into their savings account each month.
  • Give your teens a fixed monthly allowance.
  • Encourage your teens to keep to a monthly budget. This budget can be divided into needs, wants, savings, and charitable giving.

You can also teach your teens to track their spending in a journal or app.

9. Prioritize your physical health

teen playing basketballSome research shows that around 80% of teens aren’t getting enough exercise.

Aside from staying active, teens should build healthy eating and sleep habits.

Here are some ways to encourage your teens to adopt a healthy lifestyle:

  • Discuss having a regular bedtime. Teens can have different bedtimes for the weekends, weekdays, and holidays. But the difference in bedtime shouldn’t be too significant.
  • Have fixed family meal times. Try to involve your teens in meal preparation and use the opportunity to teach them about cooking and nutrition.
  • Discuss having an exercise schedule. Encourage your teens to engage in physical activities they enjoy, like dancing or basketball.

10. Be present during family activities

Building a strong bond between family members takes time and effort. But sometimes your teens don’t want to be with the family.

Here are some examples of rules that can encourage your teens to make time for family activities:

  • Make it a point to be home for dinner at least three times a week.
  • Reserve at least a day or two each month to hang out as a family.
  • Put away your devices during family mealtimes.

You can also involve your teenagers in helping to plan get-togethers and trips for the family.

11. Be a responsible student

You can give your teens ground rules to help them stay on track academically. This could involve implementing a general schedule for studying or doing their homework.

Encourage them to break down their assignments and study tasks into smaller, more manageable goals.

If they’re constantly distracted at home, talk to them about creating a family rule that addresses that. For example, they might only be allowed to use their devices once they’ve finished their school tasks for the day.

Make sure that you keep to this rule too as much as you can, if not your teens will find it unfair!

12. Stay safe and vigilant

Research shows that risky behavior increases around puberty and peaks in the later part of adolescence.

So it’s important to lay out rules to protect your teens from harm.

These boundaries may include the following:

  • Pay attention to your surroundings and don’t use your phone when you’re walking outside.
  • Don’t let strangers into the home without first checking with either parent.
  • Don’t text while driving. Respect road safety regulations at all times.
  • Don’t ride with someone who is under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
  • Don’t go to deserted places alone, and don’t go out alone late at night.

13. Manage your time well

Time management is an important life skill that every teen should develop.

Teach your teens how to create a rough daily schedule and how to keep track of deadlines.

Set rules that help them establish priorities. For example, they can only go to a friend’s house after finishing their homework and chores.

14. Respect others’ belongings

teen listening to vinyl recordsCertain boundaries can be drawn to teach your teenagers to respect the belongings of others.

Here are some examples:

  • If you break something that isn’t yours, own up to it and take responsibility for your actions, e.g., replacing or repairing it.
  • Ask for permission before taking something that isn’t yours.
  • Take good care of the items you borrow.
  • Return the items by the date you promised.

15. Respect personal space

Every family member needs their own privacy and space.

One example of a rule you could set is to knock before entering a family member’s room. In addition, your teens shouldn’t look through someone else’s phone or personal belongings without permission.

This form of respect should go both ways. Refraining from crossing these boundaries is best unless your teens’ health or safety is at stake.

Conclusion

You don’t have to implement all these rules in one go. Pick a few that address your teens’ problematic behaviors best or that make the most sense for your family.

Then, sit down, discuss them, and finalize them with your teens.

Of course, you can adapt and modify the rules along the way.

Using this approach, your teens will build positive character traits and learn valuable life skills!

(Don’t forget to download your free e-book below.)

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When Teens Ignore Consequences: 10 Proven Strategies for Parents

Updated on July 1, 2025 By Daniel Wong 42 Comments

Parent and childAre you dealing with teenagers who don’t take responsibility for their actions?

You’ve tried every method you can think of to curb their bad behavior and discipline them, but nothing seems to work.

You may have tried taking away their phones, grounding them, or giving them extra chores.

But this has only led to more defiant behavior and attitude from your teens.

It’s a frustrating situation to be in.

But as parents, we have to understand that correcting our teens’ behavior goes beyond punishment.

In this article, I’ll explain some effective strategies to help you discipline a teenager who doesn’t care about consequences.

(Make sure to download your free quick action guide below.)

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Types of consequences that work

How do you discipline your teenagers?

It’s natural to become angry when they do something wrong. But this will cloud your judgment when you’re dealing with rebellious teenagers.

Refrain from yelling at your teens in a moment of anger. Instead, pause and reflect on the reasons behind their actions and on how you can help them learn from their mistakes.

There are two types of consequences that are most effective in helping your teens learn from their poor choices:

  • Natural consequences
  • Logical consequences

Other types of consequences are rarely helpful.

Natural consequences are outcomes that occur naturally as a result of your teenagers’ actions or decisions.

On the other hand, logical consequences are consequences that require your intervention. These consequences are directly related to your teens’ actions and show your teens the lesson they need to learn.

We’ll explore examples of natural and logical consequences later in this article.

Why constant arguing can further hurt your teenager

When your teens make a mistake or misbehave, do you yell at them? How often do heated conflicts break out?

Constant arguments and shouting matches will strain your relationship with your teens.

This makes it harder for them to talk to you about their emotions and struggles. As a result, they’ll be less likely to turn to you for support and advice.

Research studies have also demonstrated the importance of a close parent-teen relationship.

Teenagers who have better relationships with their parents are more likely to have better mental health as young adults. They’re more optimistic and are less likely to be depressed.

It’s important to correct and teach your teens, but the methods you use shouldn’t put a lasting strain on your relationship with them.

10 strategies for handling a difficult teen

It’s frustrating when your teens still misbehave and break the rules despite your efforts to discipline them.

Punishing them for their mistakes doesn’t guarantee that they’ll learn to respect boundaries. In fact, it might lead to your teen shutting you out.

So here are 10 strategies you can use instead to handle a difficult teen:

1. Communicate in an honest and open manner

active listening to your childStart a conversation focused on solving the problem, and let your teen be part of the decision-making process.

If your teen has been displaying several problematic or risky behaviors, tackle just one issue at a time.

Avoid being a parent who sets all the rules and boundaries without considering your teen’s opinions. Instead, make it a point to listen attentively to his or her feelings and concerns.

Maintain eye contact, avoid interrupting, and be honest (but gentle) in sharing your thoughts and emotions.

The discussion should help you and your teen agree on reasonable house rules and consequences for breaking those rules.

2. Be empathetic and understanding

An open line of communication with your teenagers allows you to learn more about their struggles. For example, they may be facing issues related to self-esteem or bullying.

It’s a good idea to reflect on any possible underlying unmet needs that have led to their bad behavior. Their actions could be a call for attention. Or maybe they crave more space and freedom.

It might not solve the problem right away. But understanding the “why” behind their actions will enable you to relate to and empathize with them.

3. Set clear expectations

Your teens can’t follow rules that are vague.

Discuss appropriate boundaries with your teens, and help them understand the reasons behind them. Make the rules as specific as possible.

For example, avoid saying something vague like, “Don’t be back too late.”

Instead, you could say something like, “Please be home before 9 p.m. on weekday nights and 11 p.m. on Saturday nights.”

You should also be clear about the consequences of breaking the rules. It would be good to have the rules and consequences written down or printed out.

4. Be consistent

Your teenagers won’t take your rules seriously if you don’t enforce them.

When you’ve set a rule and a consequence for breaking it, make sure you follow through.

Teenagers might try to take advantage of the situation if one parent is firm while the other parent isn’t. Try to ensure that you and your parenting partner are on the same page.

5. Allow natural consequences to take place

test taking techniquesThe saying “once bitten, twice shy” comes into play here.

Most of the time, your teens will learn best when they experience the natural consequences of their actions.

Natural consequences don’t require your involvement. As long as the consequences don’t lead to safety concerns, it’s best to avoid stepping in.

For instance, if your teenage son forgets to bring his basketball jersey to school, don’t bail him out by bringing the jersey to school for him. He might not get to play in the basketball game, but at least he’ll learn a valuable lesson.

(Of course, I’m not saying that you should never be kind or gracious to your teens!)

6. Create logical consequences

Like we talked about earlier, logical consequences are consequences that are directly related to your teens’ choices and lead your teens to learn a specific life lesson.

An illogical consequence would be taking away your daughter’s phone because she insulted a teacher.

Another illogical consequence would be giving your son extra chores to do because he received a string of bad grades.

These punishments rob your teens of the opportunity to learn and mature.

In contrast, logical consequences encourage teenagers to take responsibility for their actions.

For instance, you might be forced to restrict your daughter’s screen time if she spends too much time on her devices instead of doing her schoolwork.

Or if your son accidentally damages your neighbor’s car because he was playing soccer in the front yard, then he might need to pay for the damage and write an apology letter.

7. Provide choices

When setting consequences, try to provide your teens with options. Having your teens pick the consequences will make them more likely to accept the consequences.

For example, the consequence of coming home past their curfew could be getting grounded for the weekend. The alternative option could be having an earlier curfew for the following month.

8. Provide positive reinforcement

Positive reinforcement encourages and acknowledges good behavior.

You can apply this principle in the following ways:

  • Giving your teenagers more freedom
  • Appreciating them for being responsible
  • Increasing their privileges

Research has demonstrated that recognizing good behavior is essential for a teenager’s development.

9. Be a role model

Parent listening to their childYou’re shaping your teens’ values and character by modeling the right behavior.

Here are some ways to be a good role model for your teens:

  • Take full responsibility for your mistakes.
  • Apologize when you make a mistake.
  • Never blame others when things don’t go your way.
  • Practice what you preach. (Teens can spot hypocrisy a mile away!)
  • Always follow through on your commitments and promises.

10. Seek professional help

If your teen continues to break the rules and display rebellious behavior despite your best efforts, it’s time to get professional help.

Getting professional help doesn’t mean that you’ve failed as a parent!

Sometimes, an underlying condition, like anxiety or ADHD, could be the cause of your teen’s challenging behavior.

(I offer this 1-to-1 coaching program for teens, and I’d be happy to help your teen to get on the right track.)

Conclusion

I’m confident that these 10 tips will help you deal with your teenager who doesn’t seem to care about consequences.

The first step is to reflect on how you react to your teen’s poor behavior.

It’s easy to say or do things in a moment of frustration that can scar your teen permanently.

So take it one tip and one day at a time.

With patience and persistence, you’ll learn how to correct your teens and connect meaningfully with them too!

(If you have trouble getting your teen to listen to you, download the free quick action guide below.)

FREE QUICK ACTION GUIDE: 

Get your FREE copy of 

10 Proven Ways to Get Your Teenager to Listen to You.


The tips are guaranteed to help you get through to your teen, so download your copy today!

Filed Under: Communication, Discipline, Parenting, Teens

How Do You Deal With a Compulsive Lying Teenager? (5 Strategies That Work)

Updated on August 11, 2023 By Daniel Wong 5 Comments

compulsive lying teenagerAre you at your wits’ end dealing with a compulsive lying teenager?

You’re not alone.

When looking at behavior related to lying in people aged 6 to 77, researchers found that adolescence was the peak of dishonesty.

In a separate study, it was found that high school students told 4.1 lies on average during a 24-hour span. That’s 150% higher than adults.

If your teenager’s lies go beyond harmless fibs and become consistent and habitual, it’s something to be concerned about.

Honesty is one of the fundamental rules for success in life. Frequent lying erodes trust, leading to strained relationships.

So why do teens feel the need to lie, and how do you know if it’s a problem?

This article explores what’s going on with compulsive lying teens and what you – as a parent – can do about it.

(And if your teen lacks motivation, download a copy of the e-book below.)

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Is your teenager a compulsive liar?

Do you feel concerned about how often you catch your teen telling lies?

As a parent, no amount of lying from your teenager ever feels acceptable. But it’s particularly concerning when your teen’s lies seem to have no purpose or explanation.

This may indicate a more serious problem – a pattern of pathological lying.

Here are some things to look out for in an adolescent who might be a pathological liar:

  • Lying a lot in a variety of situations
  • Lying without a specific purpose or reason
  • Consistently lying over an extended period of time
  • ‌No other mental conditions or disorders that explain the lying

If these things are true about your teen, this could indicate compulsive lying. This means that your teen needs professional help.

Why do teenagers lie?

sad teenager leaning on chair

Research suggests that lying is most common for teens between the ages of 13-15. This is due to their intense desire for freedom at this stage of their development.

Studies have found several factors that can cause teenagers to lie:

  • To define their own rules: Many teens feel the need to assert their freedom and independence by making their own choices in life. In contrast, many parents try to control or restrict their teens’ behavior. As such, teens may hide the truth.
  • To avoid getting punished: It makes sense to have house rules for teens. Such rules help to maintain respect and create healthy boundaries. When teens break these rules, they may lie to avoid conflict and steer clear of punishments.
  • To cover for their friends: Teens may lie because they want to be a loyal friend, so they feel compelled to take the blame to protect a friend.
  • To avoid disappointing their parents: Teens may lie because they want the approval of their parents and want to avoid causing disappointment. For example, instead of admitting they fell behind in school, they may lie about their homework or grades.
  • To hide their emotions: Teens may struggle to express their emotions. It can feel safer to lie than to express how they really feel.

What can parents do about compulsive lying?

If your teenager lies compulsively, you probably feel frustrated or angry. But rest assured that there are strategies you can employ to improve the situation. Here are five of them:

1. Be a positive role model

Your words and actions have a profound influence on your teens. If you tell a little white lie here and there, your teens may consider this acceptable behavior and follow your lead.

If you realize that you sometimes lie, make a commitment to living a life of complete integrity.

Make it your priority to become a positive role model for your teens. Talk to them about what you’re doing to become a more honest person, and share your progress with them.

2. Create a safe space for your teenager to open up

parent talking to her son

It can be challenging for parents and teens to speak openly, particularly when discussing sensitive topics.

Communicating with teens requires intentional effort. But if your teens feel like they can speak with you without the fear of judgment, they’ll be more likely to tell the truth.

Try the following tips:

  • Use more “I” statements and fewer “you” statements. Tell your teens how you feel, instead of what they did wrong. “I was worried when I couldn’t reach you” is an example of an “I” statement. “You’re always avoiding my calls!” is an example of a “you” statement.
  • Speak clearly and simply. Communicate in easy-to-understand and specific terms. Don’t give long lectures. Instead, get to the point quickly when sharing your concerns with your teenagers.
  • Practice active listening. Communication is a two-way street. Encourage open dialogue by listening respectfully, especially when you disagree with your teens. Take the time to understand your teens’ perspective before responding.
  • Focus on the issue at hand. Bringing up several issues or problems at once will make the situation worse. Focus on the issue at hand and don’t bring up the past.

3. Set rules and boundaries together as a team

If you set all the rules and boundaries without any input from your teens, they’ll feel it’s unfair or unreasonable.

For example, maybe you set a 10 pm curfew for your teens for the weekends. But all of your teens’ friends can stay out until 11 pm. If your teens get home after 10 pm, they’ll be more likely to lie.

A lie about missing the bus is a convenient cover.

Have an open dialogue with your teenagers about the rules and boundaries they’re expected to keep to. Resolve disagreements respectfully together as a team.

This will build mutual respect and trust.

4. Stay in control of your emotions

Teen does not want to listen

If you find out that your teens have been lying to you, it can make you feel frustrated and disappointed.

But blowing your top won’t help the situation.

If you lose control of your emotions, it will create an emotional distance between you and your teens. They may give you the silent treatment and refuse to talk things out.

Calm down before speaking with your teens about their actions. Explain the consequences of lying and how you feel.

With a level-headed approach, your teens will be more likely to take responsibility for their mistakes. They’ll also be more likely to make better decisions in the future.

5. Avoid labeling your teenager as a liar

If you give your teenagers negative labels, it will affect how they perceive themselves. It will also affect their self-esteem. Research shows that such labeling is harmful and can cause people to feel devalued.

If you label your teen a liar, he or she may feel defined by it. Instead of trying to be more honest, he or she will continue lying, maybe even to prove you right.

Instead of labeling your teenagers, apply Strategy #2 and get to the root of why they felt the need to lie in the first place. Only then can you begin to work through the issue together.

Conclusion

Dealing with a compulsive lying teenager is tough for any parent.

Start by understanding the reasons why your teen lies. If it’s a deeply ingrained pattern that resembles pathological lying, it’s time to get professional help for your teen.

Fortunately, most teens lie for reasons that parents can understand or at least relate to.

Start applying the strategies outlined in this article and be patient. Over time, you’ll foster honest communication between you and your teen.

And if your teen lacks motivation and a sense of responsibility, check out my online course for parents of teens. It’s a proven, step-by-step system to help you get your teen on the right track – guaranteed!

FREE E-BOOK:

16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager (Cover)

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Filed Under: Attitude, Communication, Discipline, Parenting, Relationships, Teens

15 Essential Life Skills for Teens (Does Your Teen Have Them?)

Updated on April 15, 2024 By Daniel Wong 4 Comments

life skills for teensDo you get nervous thinking about the day your teens will finally move out of the house?

As a parent, your instinct is to shield your children from difficulties and hardship.

So it’s natural to feel concerned about how your teenagers will handle various obstacles in life — especially when you’re miles apart from them.

When that happens, you want them to be well prepared for the challenges that adulthood brings.

The good thing is that it’s never too late to start teaching your teens the life skills they’ll need to thrive in adulthood.

As their parent, you’re in the best position to help them develop the right values and become responsible young adults.

In this article, we’ll talk about 15 important life skills for teens and how you can impart them to your teens.

(And if you’d like your teenagers to become more motivated, make sure to download the free e-book below.)

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1. Time management

teen sleeping on his school booksDo your teens fall behind on deadlines? Maybe they often leave things to the last minute, causing unnecessary stress and panic.

Effective time management will help your teenagers to stop procrastinating and meet deadlines. Your teens will also be able to get more done in less time.

This will lead to better work-life balance when your teens become adults.

Here are some ways to teach your teens how to manage their time well:

  • Work with them to plan out a daily and weekly schedule. Encourage them to set enough time aside for homework, chores, and other responsibilities. At the same time, teach them how to balance work, rest, and play.
  • Provide them with time management tools. Some of these tools may include a digital or written planner, a to-do list, or an app to keep track of events and tasks.
  • Teach them how to prioritize. Sometimes, a birthday party may clash with a basketball game or music lesson. Help your teens prioritize based on their roles, values, and commitments.

2. Money management

Based on surveys, 75% of young adults would have preferred to learn more finance-related topics in school.

Formal education doesn’t guarantee financial literacy or wisdom. This means that you, as a parent, play a pivotal role in helping your teens learn how to manage their money.

Financial literacy goes a long way in helping your teens avoid debt and build their savings.

You can raise financially-savvy teenagers by following these tips:

  • Encourage them to cultivate a habit of saving. For instance, when they receive their allowance, you can encourage them to put a portion of it aside for their savings. (Of course, it’s vital that you lead by example in this area too!)
  • Help them understand that credit doesn’t mean “free money.” Explain to them how credit cards work and how credit card debt can compound quickly over time.
  • Give them access to budgeting and finance tools. For example, a budget tracker app can help them keep tabs on their expenses.
  • Introduce them to the concept of insurance. You can relate it to something they’re familiar with, like a car. Explain terms to them such as deductible, premium, exclusions, etc.

3. Decision-making

Friends hanging out

No one makes the right decision every single time, but you can help your teen make wiser choices in life in general.

Peer influence plays a big role in adolescent decision-making – in both good and bad ways.

Encourage your teens to spend time with friends who have similar beliefs and values. Teach them to establish boundaries and to be brave enough to say no.

Help them weigh the pros and cons of the decisions they’re faced with.

Provide guidance when appropriate, but avoid forcing your opinions on your teenagers. As difficult as it might be, as parents, we must sometimes take the backseat and let them learn from their mistakes.

4. Goal-setting and planning

You might have ambitious teens who dream big.

Structured goal-setting and planning can help your teens unlock their potential. They’ll learn to leverage their talents and strengths to achieve well-defined goals.

Encourage your teens to write down their goals and ambitions. These must be their goals, not the aspirations you wish to fulfill through them.

You can also help them break down a big dream into smaller actionable steps. Ensure that each step toward the goal is measurable and specific.

For instance, if your teen wants to learn Korean, he or she might decide to spend 30 minutes studying the language after dinner every day.

And as long as your teens’ goals are meaningful in some way, do your best to be supportive!

5. Critical thinking

Do your teenagers take things at face value?

If so, encourage them to analyze information and ideas rationally and independently.

That way, your teens can form their own opinions and conclusions that are reasonable and well thought out.

Here’s how you can help your teens practice critical thinking:

  • Ask them to come up with solutions to real-life problems.
  • Ask them open-ended questions that can’t be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.”
  • Give them opportunities to make important decisions. For example, would they like to spend the summer break volunteering or attending an educational camp?

6. Adaptability and resilience

teenager playing baseball

How can you help your teens adapt quickly to change and bounce back from rough times?

Here are some tips to try:

  • Encourage your teens to pursue new experiences. For instance, they could try out a new sport or join a club.
  • Help your teens to focus on the positive aspects of change rather than dwelling on disappointments.
  • Remind your teens to be aware of their inner monologue and how they speak to themselves.
  • Encourage your teens to devise solutions to problems and weigh out the pros and cons of each one.
  • Help your teenagers form healthy connections with friends, family members, counselors, and coaches. These people will be able to provide your teenagers with support and guidance.

7. Becoming a self-directed learner

Many teenagers have the mindset that they have to finish their schoolwork and projects.

This isn’t entirely their fault. They’ve learned to think this way due to the punishments or consequences they face – typically at school – if they don’t complete the work.

But having this mindset means that your teens may only finish their tasks and fulfill their responsibilities when someone is coercing them to.

So what you can do instead is to encourage your teenagers to be proactive and self-directed learners.

Help them to see the inherent meaning and purpose behind what they’re currently working on, beyond the outcome they’re trying to achieve.

Encourage them to explore various learning resources and platforms on their own. And provide them with tools to monitor the progress they’re making, such as apps like Lifetick or GoalsOnTrack.

8. Resourcefulness

When your teens face setbacks in life, do they often give up?

Instead of quitting, help them to become more resourceful. Show them how to broaden their horizons when they’re trying to find a way through an obstacle.

Can an organization, professional, or family member offer guidance?

Or can they take a course or use an online tool that might help?

Give your teens opportunities to make significant decisions. Encourage them to reflect on the mistakes they’ve made.

9. Communication

As teenagers develop good communication skills, they’ll be able to convey their thoughts and opinions more clearly.

They’ll also learn to listen more effectively. This can help to prevent unnecessary conflicts and misunderstandings.

To enable your teens to improve their communication skills, you can:

  • Make time to communicate with your teens. Create opportunities for two-way interactions with your teens. This may involve setting up a no-phone rule at the dinner table or scheduling weekly family time to catch up, etc.
  • Teach your teens the importance of body language in conversations. You can explain to them specific undesirable body language cues (e.g. no eye contact, crossed arms, poor posture).
  • Emphasize the importance of active listening. Model this whenever your teens or anyone else speaks to you. Teach your teens the key principles of active listening.

10. Emotional intelligence and self-awareness

emotional intelligence

Your teens may have trouble understanding their emotions. They may also be unaware of how their moods and actions impact the feelings of others.

With greater emotional intelligence, your teens will cultivate empathy and build stronger relationships.

To build your teens’ emotional intelligence, create a safe atmosphere at home where they can talk openly about their emotions, fears, anxieties, etc.

Instead of sweeping their feelings under the rug, validate their emotions through active listening.

11. Leadership and teamwork

The strength of the team is each member. The strength of each member is the team.

– Phil Jackson, former NBA Coach of the Year

It’s essential that your teens learn to lead and to work in a team.

Here’s how you can help your teens to foster collaborative relationships with others:

  • Teach them to be accountable for their actions. Create a culture of accountability in your home by setting up rules and boundaries. Involve your teens in the process of creating these rules and boundaries.
  • Give them opportunities to negotiate. Invite your teens to share their ideas and opinions. Leave room for negotiation in instances when you don’t see eye-to-eye with them.
  • Establish a culture of celebrating other people’s successes.  Model for your teens how to support, motivate, and encourage others sincerely.
  • Teach them to resolve conflicts effectively. Share with them strategies to stay calm in the middle of tense situations. Show them how to disagree respectfully.

12. Empathy and compassion

Teens who have more empathy will be able to build healthier relationships with others.

Here’s how you can empower your teens to develop this valuable life skill:

  • Create a safe space for them to talk about their feelings and experiences.
  • Ask them what they notice about another person’s facial expressions or body language.
  • Remind them to show honor to others, even in the midst of disagreements and conflicts.
  • Encourage them to volunteer and serve others – you can join them too!

13. Healthy habits and self-care

teen playing basketball

One of the most important life skills for young adults is knowing how to take care of their physical and mental health.

You can try the following:

  • Set an example by practicing good sleep hygiene, e.g. putting away your electronic devices an hour before bed, having a relaxing bedtime routine.
  • Take your teens to their routine health check-ups.
  • Exercise together with them.
  • Teach them basic cooking skills.
  • Show them how to read nutritional labels.

While physical health is important, mental health shouldn’t be overlooked.

According to the World Health Organization, half of all mental health conditions in adulthood begin by age 14.

Here’s how you can help your teens to prioritize their mental well-being:

  • Destigmatize counseling and mental health support.
  • Help them create a self-care routine.
  • Spend 1-on-1 time with them regularly so you can find out how they’re really doing.
  • Learn and practice relaxation techniques (e.g. deep breathing exercises, art therapy) with them.

14. Basic first aid and emergency preparedness

All teenagers should know how to navigate emergencies. These skills could save their life or someone else’s.

Here’s what you can do:

  • Encourage them to attend basic first aid training (and join in if you can).
  • Provide them with personal safety tools and teach them how to use the tools. Personal safety apps like Noonlight can be helpful.
  • Encourage them to have trusted family members or friends saved as emergency contacts.
  • Educate them on how to respond to fires, natural disasters, etc.

15. Basic home maintenance skills

gutter maintenance

Teens without the necessary home maintenance skills may become stressed and overwhelmed when such situations arise.

Get your teenagers involved in basic housekeeping tasks. Teach them to use common household appliances, such as a washing machine and dryer.

It’s a good idea to teach your teens how to:

  • Clean the gutters
  • Reset the circuit breaker
  • Cut off the water supply
  • Hang shelves
  • Fix a leaky faucet
  • Unclog a sink or toilet

Get your teens involved in basic home maintenance tasks as early as possible.

You’ll be teaching them valuable skills that will come in handy when they’re living on their own!

Conclusion

Many valuable life skills can’t be picked up by reading a textbook.

As much as you want your teenagers to get good grades in school, it’s also important for them to become responsible and independent young adults.

By equipping them with the right skills, they’ll be headed down this path!

(If your teens sometimes lack motivation, don’t forget to download the free e-book below.)

FREE E-BOOK:

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