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9 Things Students Have to Be Thankful for (but Usually Aren’t)

Updated on August 11, 2021 By Daniel Wong 9 Comments

Happy student

Students have so many things they complain about, right?

Too much homework.

Naggy parents.

Not enough money.

Early mornings.

Strict teachers.

The list goes on and on.

When I was a student, I used to complain about everything. But one day I realized that the antidote to complaining is gratitude.

So after reading this article, I felt inspired to come up with a list of nine things that students have to be thankful for – but usually aren’t.

Here’s the list:

1. Naggy parents = People who love you unconditionally

2. Internet/phone/TV restrictions = Parents who care about your future

3. No pocket money to buy the coolest clothes = Learning the difference between wants and needs

4. Homework = Opportunity to acquire new knowledge and skills

5. Early school day mornings = Getting a quality education

6. Tests and exams = Valuable feedback on your learning progress

7. Group projects = Learning collaboration and interpersonal skills

8. Difficult concepts and topics = Developing perseverance

9. Mandatory subjects you dislike = Growing in patience

It’s natural to focus on the negative things in life, rather than the positive.

But to find long-term happiness and success, we must cultivate the habit of gratitude.

I hope this article helps you to do that in a small way. 🙂

Please “like” this article and share it with your friends.

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Filed Under: Attitude, Education, Happiness, Perspective

15 Things Students Should Do Before Starting the New School Year

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 13 Comments

Student

The school holidays.

For most students, it’s their favorite time of the year.

It’s easy to see why.

During the school holidays, there’s no homework to do, no tests to study for, and no projects to work on.

But the new school year is just around the corner. So you might as well be prepared, right? 🙂

I’ve come up with this list of 15 things every student should do before beginning the new school year.

If you do the things on this list, I guarantee that you’ll be off to a great start!

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1. Adjust your sleeping and waking times.

During the school holidays, you’ve probably been sleeping and waking up late.

Now’s the time to make adjustments. If you don’t, you’ll take longer to get used to the schedule when school starts again.

Adjust your sleeping and waking times gradually over two weeks. Go to bed 5 to 10 minutes earlier each night, and you’ll be able to shift your sleeping schedule significantly over those two weeks.

You can even set an alarm to go off every night, as a reminder to go to bed.

2. Get a management diary or weekly planner.

The inside of the diary or planner should look something like this:

Management diary

If you prefer to go digital, you can use an online calendar instead, such as Google Calendar.

By using these tools regularly, you’ll be able to plan your time and priorities.

Block out time in your schedule for academics, extracurricular activities, social events, family time, etc.

3. Write down key dates in your diary or planner.

As a follow-up to Point #2, block out important dates such as:

  • National holidays
  • Birthdays
  • Anniversaries
  • Family events
  • School holidays
  • School events
  • Exam dates

After doing this, you’ll have a good overview of the major events in the coming school year.

This will allow for you to plan your schedule and commitments.

4. Organize your study area.

In the coming year, you’ll spend hundreds – or even thousands – of hours at your study table.

So organize your study area for maximum productivity.

Ensure that …

  • Your study area is free of distractions
  • Your essential supplies are within easy reach
  • Your study area is well-lit
  • Your chair is adjusted to the correct height
  • Your desk is clear of unnecessary notes, textbooks, etc.

5. Clear your room.

Now that you’re done organizing your study area, it’s time to clear your room.

Eliminate all clutter. Throw or give away all the clothes, books, notes, and souvenirs you no longer need.

Why is it important to get rid of clutter?

Because clutter causes stress. In other words, by clearing your room you’ll feel happier over the course of the school year.

If you have tons of stuff to clear, do it progressively. Spend 20 minutes a day decluttering, and you’ll have a neat room after a week or so.

6. Stock up on stationery and supplies.

Don’t wait until the start of school to do this, because there will be plenty of other things you’ll be busy with then.

Make a list of all the supplies you need, e.g. pens, pencils, paper, highlighters, folders. Then schedule a trip to the bookstore to pick those things up.

7. Create a system for organizing your notes, assignments, etc.

Folders

Being disorganized is one of the biggest causes of stress.

So if you want to have a great school year ahead, you need a system for organizing your schoolwork (both physical and digital).

Here’s an article you’ll find helpful: Creating Order From Chaos: 9 Great Ideas for Managing Your Computer Files

8. Get healthy snacks.

When school starts, you’ll get busy. And we all know that it’s hard to eat healthy when you’re busy.

Make healthy eating convenient by stocking up on snacks like …

  • Almonds
  • Cashew nuts
  • Nut butters
  • Dried fruit
  • Hummus
  • Low-sugar snack bars
  • Cheese

9. Start using the following productivity apps …

  • Slack: Well-designed messaging app that will improve communication within your project team.
  • Trello: Simple but powerful project management tool that you can also use to manage your personal tasks.
  • Todoist: My favorite tool to manage my to-do list.
  • Habitica: App that turns habit formation into a fun game.
  • My Study Life: Tool to help you stay organized when it comes to your schedule, homework, exams, and more.

Technology has become an important part of our lives. We might as well use it to make our lives more productive!

10. Make exercise a part of your routine.

Regular exercise is proven to enhance your brain function, memory, and mood. In other words, if you want to be a successful – and healthy – student, exercise is important.

Here’s what I recommend:

First, write down your rough weekly schedule for the new school year.

Next, think about what kind of exercise routine would fit into that schedule.

Lastly, start implementing that routine so that you’ll get used to it before school starts.

Don’t be too ambitious. The routine could be something as simple as going for a swim on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 4 to 4:30pm.

And if you haven’t been exercising regularly, increase the frequency and duration slowly until you’re following the desired routine.

11. List the habits you want to develop in the coming year, and come up with a workable plan.

Habits

These are some possible habits to develop:

  • Reading for leisure
  • Keeping a gratitude journal
  • Daily reflection
  • Eating more vegetables
  • Writing thank-you notes
  • Flossing your teeth
  • Being punctual

Come up with a plan where you develop one new habit every month or so. For example, if you want to start reading for leisure, your plan might look something like this:

1st week of January: Read for 3 minutes every day before bed

2nd week of January: Read for 5 minutes every day before bed

3rd week of January: Read for 10 minutes every day before bed

4th week of January: Read for 15 minutes every day before bed

12. Do some basic budgeting and financial planning.

Money management is an important life skill. Now is the best time to start developing this skill.

Keep it simple. Take out a sheet of paper and write down how much pocket money you receive each month. If you have a part-time job, include your monthly salary too.

Next, write down your monthly fixed expenses. This would include things like …

  • Food
  • Transportation
  • Phone bill
  • Stationery

Calculate how much you have left, then set aside money for …

  • Saving
  • Charity/donations
  • Guilt-free spending

If you’re not sure how you currently spend your money, track your spending on every single item for just one month. Toshl is a great app that will allow you to do this with minimal inconvenience.

13. Reflect on the previous year.

Do this for the following six areas:

  • Physical health (exercise, sleep, diet)
  • Relationships (friends, family)
  • Academics (discipline, motivation, individual subjects/courses)
  • Personal growth (skills, character)
  • Service (serving others at home and outside the home, volunteering)
  • Fun (hobbies, leisure)

For each of the six areas, write down what you (a) did well (b) did not do so well.

14. Set process goals for the coming school year.

Now that you’ve reflected on the past year, you’re ready to set process goals for the coming year. Do this for each of the six areas listed under Point #13.

What are process goals?

They’re goals that are based on the process you plan to follow, not the result you plan to achieve.

By setting process goals, you’ll focus on what you can control (your actions), rather than on what is sometimes outside of your control (the outcome). This makes process goals far more effective than outcome-based goals.

These are examples of process goals you might set for the six areas mentioned under Point #13:

  • Physical health: Drink soda two times a week or fewer, and only on weekends
  • Relationships: Talk to your parents for at least 15 minutes every day before going to bed
  • Academics: Complete at least 3 x 30-minute study sessions a day
  • Personal growth: Read a non-fiction book for at least 10 minutes a day after getting home from school
  • Service: Volunteer at the nearby animal shelter for at least two hours every two weeks
  • Fun: Play the ukulele for 10 minutes a day

Don’t feel as if you need to implement all the process goals at once.

Focus on just one area at a time, and make gradual progress over the course of the year.

15. Write down at least five reasons why you’re thankful for school.

Writing

This will make you feel more positive about the new school year, even if you don’t feel excited about it at the moment.

Here are some reasons to be grateful:

  • Friends to hang out with
  • New skills to acquire
  • Exciting challenges to take on
  • Leadership opportunities to embrace
  • Caring teachers to learn from

The bottom line

Maybe you’re dreading the start of school. Or maybe you can’t wait for classes to start.

Whatever the case, the new school year holds plenty of promise.

The promise of new experiences.

The promise of new friends.

The promise of new skills and knowledge to master.

By doing the 15 things listed in this article, you’ll prepare yourself to make the most of the coming year. Don’t feel overwhelmed – just start with one or two things and pick up the momentum gradually.

As you do this, you’ll feel inspired and motivated.

Here’s wishing you a fantastic school year ahead! 🙂

Please “like” this article and share it with your friends.

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Image: Folders, Build habits, Writing on notebook

Filed Under: Education, Happiness, Learning, Success

4 Words of Advice for Students Who Want to Succeed in Life

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 6 Comments

Ladder of success

Success.

Everyone wants it. And some who have already achieved it hunger for even more.

But what does success mean? How do you ensure that your success is enduring, not just temporary?

These are hard questions, and I don’t claim to have all the answers.

But since completing my formal education and entering the “real world,” I’ve learned a lot about what it takes to find long-term success.

My mission is to empower students to become both happy and successful. So these are my four words of advice to students who want to succeed in life:

1. Focus on contribution, not achievement.

Society tends to emphasize achievement rather than contribution.

But real success isn’t determined by how much you’ve achieved. It’s determined by how much you’ve contributed.

And the size of your contribution isn’t limited by your job title. As Harry Beckwith once said, “There is no such thing as an ordinary job. There are only people who choose to perform them in ordinary ways.”

Your contributions have less to do with your career, and more to do with how committed you are and how much you care.

If you’re committed to a cause you care about deeply, you’ll go the extra mile to serve others and make a difference. No “unimpressive” job title will be able to stand in your way.

That’s why people like Martin Luther King, Jr., Mother Teresa, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Oprah Winfrey were busy changing the world, long before they became famous.

All work – except for illegal trades – directly or indirectly involves serving others, meeting their needs, or empowering them to lead better lives.

Work is intrinsically meaningful. It gives us opportunities to contribute, and to make the world a better place.

Those who succeed in life don’t simply coast along. They don’t just go with the flow. Instead, they go beyond the call of duty, time after time.

As Zig Ziglar observed, “You can have everything you want in life, if you will help enough other people get what they want.”

So think of ways that you can go beyond the call of duty.

Here are some examples:

  • Share your knowledge with others
  • Go out of your way to honor your parents
  • Write a thank-you note to someone who has made a difference in your life
  • Volunteer
  • Do something to brighten up your friend’s, parent’s, or teacher’s day
  • Mentor someone younger and less experienced than you
  • Start a website to share useful information with others

The possibilities are endless. But it all starts with a desire to contribute, not just achieve.

2. Commit to personal growth.

Personal growth

One of my favorite quotes is this anonymous one:

“Many succeed momentarily by what they know. Some succeed temporarily by what they do. Few succeed permanently by what they are.”

If you want to attain lasting success, what matters most is character. Knowledge and skills pale in comparison. I’ve even heard several employers remark that they’ve learned to hire for character rather than competence.

To build character, commit to personal growth. Take intentional steps to become more hardworking, disciplined, generous, kind, focused, resilient, caring, and empathetic.

Focus on the process, instead of the outcome. As Dr. Carol Dweck’s research has shown, adopting this mindset leads to long-term success. Ironically, by focusing on improving and developing – rather than on achieving a specific result – you’ll achieve an even better result.

At the end of the day, personal growth isn’t about being better than others so you can feel good about yourself.

Personal growth is about the pursuit of excellence. It’s about continual improvement. It’s about making the most of this one precious life we’ve each been given.

So what are some practical ways to help you grow as a person?

Here are several:

  • Every day, spend five minutes in reflection
  • Do one thing a week that forces you out of your comfort zone
  • Overcome a bad habit
  • Eliminate unwanted distractions
  • Read a book
  • Learn a new skill
  • Take up a new hobby
  • Surround yourself with people you aspire to be like
  • Sign up for a workshop
  • Take an online course at Udemy or Coursera
  • Subscribe to an educational YouTube channel like CrashCourse or AsapSCIENCE

Personal growth is never wasted. It helps you to embrace possibilities and to cultivate a sense of wonder.

And, without a doubt, it will lead you down the path of enduring success.

3. Invest in your most important relationships.

Relationships

The quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life.

This study followed 268 Harvard students over the course of 75 years. The study collected data on many aspects of their lives, and sought to answer the question: Which factors lead to long-term happiness and fulfillment?

The study discovered that having strong relationships is the most important factor. In fact, the study found “strong relationships to be far and away the strongest predictor of life satisfaction.” You might have wealth, physical health, and a thriving career, but without strong relationships you won’t be happy.

How does this principle apply to students who want to succeed in life?

Don’t become so obsessed about getting to the top that you forget about bringing people along with you on the journey.

So take a few minutes and identify the most important relationships in your life. Commit to investing in these relationships. Make them a priority, and don’t let your work or hobbies get in the way.

Every week, block out time in your calendar to spend with your close friends and family. Keep track of the important things going on in their lives, and check in with them periodically. They’ll appreciate this more than you imagine.

It’s easy to be distracted by urgent matters, while neglecting the important ones. So guard your time and your relationships. That’s the only way you’ll find lasting success and happiness.

4. Cultivate a spirit of gratitude.

Gratitude

Life is full of challenges and struggles. But, at the same time, there are always things to be grateful for.

When you cultivate a spirit of gratitude, you’ll complain less. You’ll develop a positive attitude, and people will enjoy being around you more. You’ll become a less anxious person, too.

This will help you find enduring success.

Here are more benefits of gratitude, backed by science:

  • It helps you to make more friends
  • It improves your physical health
  • It enhances your sleep quality
  • It increases your self-esteem
  • It builds resilience
  • It reduces stress
  • It makes you more generous and compassionate

Isn’t this an incredible list?

So, if you haven’t already done so, start a gratitude journal. Every night before you go to bed, take a minute and write down just one thing you’re thankful for.

This habit will train your mind to focus on the positive, and will cultivate a sense of hope for the future.

I’ve kept a gratitude journal for the past eight years – it’s made me a much more appreciative person!

The bottom line

I’m not so naïve to think that I know everything about success. But I do know that real success is hard to attain.

It demands that we lead a life of principles, not just pragmatism.

A life of meaning, not materialism.

A life of conviction, not convenience.

A life of service, not self-centeredness.

We’re all on a journey toward success. Together, let’s make it a great one.

An earlier version of this article first appeared on Yahoo!.

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Filed Under: Character, Happiness, Personal Growth, Success

6 Things Happy and Effective Parents Say “No” To

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 20 Comments

Say no

As a parent, does it sometimes feel like your to-do list is never-ending?

You have so many responsibilities to fulfill, chores to complete, and errands to run.

Through my work, I interact with lots of parents. Sadly, it seems like many parents are overwhelmed by the hustle and bustle of life, and have lost the joy of parenthood.

In this article, I’ll share with you six things to say “no” to as a parent. When you say “no” to these things, I’m confident that you’ll become a happier – and more effective – parent.

Here they are…

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1. Say “no” to perfection

Do you strive for perfection?

Some parents hold on to these ideals – and some even try to achieve them all at once:

  • They should never lose their temper.
  • They should always be cheerful.
  • Their home should be neat and clean all the time.
  • They should be involved in charity work and in serving the community.
  • They should have an active social life.
  • Their children should be well-behaved.
  • Their children should perform well in school.
  • Their children should excel in their co-curricular activities.

Don’t get me wrong. We should set goals in the different areas of our lives. And yes, we should develop ourselves physically, mentally and emotionally.

But we must also accept that we’re not perfect.

Let’s be kind to ourselves. Let’s not hold ourselves to unattainable standards. Let’s say “no” to perfection, and instead say “yes” to progress.

2. Say “no” to over-scheduling your children’s lives

Every parent wants their children to maximize their potential.

Wouldn’t it be a waste if your child had musical or artistic talent, but never took music or art lessons?

But this mindset can become too extreme.

I’ve worked with students who participate in three co-curricular activities, as well as music and dance lessons. This is on top of their other academic enrichment classes.

Talk about being scarily busy!

Childhood and adolescence are times of intense growth and development. But for optimal growth and development, children need time to think, dream, reflect and rest.

It’s almost impossible to do this when they’re rushing from lesson to lesson and activity to activity.

What’s more, parents of these children often spend most of their weekends sending their children to the various enrichment classes. As such, these families don’t spend much quality time together.

I’ve worked with some families that don’t even have any regular family time at all.

So I encourage you not to register your children for more than one music-/art-related activity and one sports-related activity. This way, everyone in the home will be happier and less stressed.

3. Say “no” to comparing your children with others

I’m a parent myself, so I know this is easier said than done.

But at some level, we realize that there will always be children who are smarter, more talented, more athletic, and more hardworking than our children.

Of course, you should encourage your children to adopt the right attitude and to cultivate a strong work ethic. But you, too, must do your best not to compare them with other children – especially not in front of them.

Making comparisons will cause your children to feel hurt. They may start to believe that your love for them is conditional.

Your children need to know that you love them the same, no matter how well-behaved they are, no matter what grades they get, and no matter how many awards or medals they win.

To help you say “no” to making comparisons, ask yourself if you’re hanging out with “bad” company. Do your friends (who are also parents) frequently make comparisons? Are they overly competitive? Do they make you feel afraid of losing out?

If your friends aren’t a good influence, minimize your contact with them. Find new friends who will spur you on to become a better, more joyful parent.

4. Say “no” to comparing yourself with other parents

Comparison

I’m sure you know some parents who seem to have it all.

They have a thriving marriage and career. They have great kids. They’re energetic and cheerful. And they own a nicer house and car than you.

With both envy and curiosity, you wonder: How do they do it?

Comparing yourself with other parents is unhealthy, just as comparing your children with others is unhealthy. By comparing yourself with people who seem to have the perfect life, you’ll begin to feel dissatisfied with your own life.

Envy is the enemy of gratitude. And gratitude is a key factor that leads to long-term happiness and success.

When you make comparisons, you can’t focus on all that you have to be thankful for: your family, your friends, your health, your job, and the many comforts you enjoy on a daily basis.

We must all decide to run our own race. In this race, the aim isn’t to finish first. It’s to finish well.

Finishing well is about serving others, making a contribution, establishing meaningful relationships, and building a home that’s filled with warmth and love.

Finishing well doesn’t require a huge amount of wealth, nor does it require you to have a “perfect” life.

What’s the first step to finishing well? Say “no” to comparing yourself with other parents.

5. Say “no” to being overprotective of your children

I’ve interacted with countless students who don’t understand that choices lead to consequences.

Why don’t they grasp this reality of life?

Because throughout their lives, their parents have sheltered them from negative consequences:

  • When they forget to bring their homework to school, their parents drop it off later that day.
  • When they get in trouble with their teacher, their parents prevent them from getting punished.
  • When they don’t get into the co-curricular activity or club they want, their parents intervene.
  • When they wake up late for school, their parents write a note to excuse them.

These are just a few examples of how well-intentioned parents prevent their children from learning responsibility. Overprotective parents raise children who are ill-prepared for the “real world,” where you’re forced to bear the consequences of your actions.

So as parents, let’s allow our children to make mistakes. Let’s allow them to face challenges, to fail, to overcome setbacks. In so doing, they’ll become more independent and resilient.

(Of course, if they’re in physical danger, we should step in.)

It’s heartbreaking to watch our children fall, both in a literal and figurative way. But if we don’t let them fall when they’re kids or teenagers, they might never learn to get up on their own.

And as Victor Kiam once noted, “Even if you fall on your face, you’re still moving forward.”

6. Say “no” to putting your own needs last

Without a doubt, parenthood involves sacrifice. A lot of it.

In fact, when I became a first-time parent, my mum told me that parenthood can be summed up in one word: sacrifice.

But it’s unwise to continually put our needs last, because we’ll eventually burn out.

As the saying goes, we can’t give away what we don’t already have. If we want to share joy, happiness, kindness and love with those around us, we must first have those things inside of us.

How do we ensure this?

By taking care of our needs:

  • Making time to catch up with close friends
  • Having a weekly or fortnightly date with our spouse
  • Spending some alone time every day to think and reflect
  • Making sleep and exercise a priority
  • Asking for help when necessary

When we do these things, we’ll be recharged and re-energized. We’ll be better parents too.

The bottom line

Saying “no” is hard, especially when it comes to the six things mentioned in this article.

But as you intentionally put these tips into practice, you’ll have the time and energy for the truly meaningful things in life.

So start saying “no” today, and watch as you become a happier, more effective parent.

An earlier version of this article first appeared on Yahoo!.

(If you haven’t already done so, make sure to download your free e-book below.)

FREE E-BOOK:

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Images: Say No, Apples & Oranges

Filed Under: Happiness, Parenting Tagged With: Popular

3 Lessons I Learned From Not Being Able To Walk

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong

Back pain - Photo courtesy of Jens Cramer

Three weeks ago, I suffered a terrible lower back injury while lifting weights.

(I was doing single leg deadlifts with bad form. Just in case you’re thinking of doing some single leg deadlifts yourself, here’s a link that teaches you how to perform them with proper form. Okay, random note over.)

I’m glad to say that I’m 95% recovered, but the past three weeks haven’t been fun.

I experienced a constant, sharp pain.

I couldn’t bend my back.

I couldn’t sleep because of the discomfort.

I had trouble even getting out of bed.

I could barely walk.

I spent most of my time at home either lying or sitting down.

How my wife made me feel like a 90-year-old

Man with a walking stick - Photo courtesy of Thomas Lieser

My wonderful wife, Michele, even had to put on my socks and shoes for me.

(I felt like a 90-year-old when she did that—don’t get me wrong, I don’t have anything against elderly people—but I’m blessed to have such a patient and caring wife!)

One of the saddest things was that we were forced to cancel our honeymoon.

We’d planned to spend a week in Korea, but we figured that I wasn’t in any condition to travel. I’m sure we wouldn’t have enjoyed ourselves much if we’d spent all of our time cooped up in the hotel anyway.

An unfortunate turn of events, but of course I’ll take full responsibility for not performing the single leg deadlifts correctly in the first place.

But being immobile gave me time to think about what I could learn from the experience.

Here are three lessons I learned that I hope you’ll find helpful, regardless of whether or not you ever injure your back:

Lesson #1: Life is relationships, the rest is just details

That’s a quote from Dr. Scott Sticksel. It captures a truth that’s hard to fully wrap your head around, especially for someone like me.

I enjoy my work and I enjoy feeling productive. I like checking things off my to-do list, and I get plenty of satisfaction from finishing a task or completing a project.

You go-getters out there know what I’m talking about, right?

Purposeful work adds joy and meaning to our lives, but our work is just one aspect of who we are and of what makes for a significant life.

This back injury reminded me that the quality of our relationships largely determines the quality of our lives.

I’ve felt very loved over the past three weeks, particularly by my family, parents-in-law, and aunt-in-law.

Here are just some of the things they did for me:

  • Dropped by to see how I was doing
  • Cooked for me
  • Washed the dishes
  • Cleaned the house
  • Took out the trash
  • Gave me a massage
  • Drove me around
  • Got me an abdominal binder to speed up my recovery
  • Sent me encouraging text messages

I know, I know… I’m so lucky!

And to think that when I was growing up I didn’t even want to hang out with my family because I thought they weren’t “cool.” I wanted to spend all of my free time with my friends—that’s what the “cool” kids did.

But I’ve since grown a lot closer to my family, and to Michele’s family too. They serve as a continual reminder to me (especially through this recent episode) to intentionally invest in the relationships I value most.

Clichéd but true: Life is relationships, the rest is just details.

Lesson #2: What describes you shouldn’t define you

I’ve always been physically active. I played basketball competitively for many years; I was trained as a platoon commander in the army; I lift weights regularly; I enjoy activities like hiking, skydiving and bungee jumping.

Over the years, I subconsciously started to take pride in the fact that I was fitter and stronger than the average person.

I’m ashamed to admit that I began to feel better about myself when I saw people who were in worse physical shape than me.

But this conceited view of myself fell apart when I injured my back.

I turned into a weakling who could neither move around freely nor carry anything that weighed more than a couple of pounds. Like I’ve already mentioned, I even needed my wife’s help to put on my socks and shoes!

I felt both helpless and useless.

I realized that I’d allowed myself to become defined by my physical health, when that’s merely a trait that described me.

We’re described by our…

  • Physical health
  • Height
  • Weight
  • Occupation
  • Social status
  • Net worth
  • Marital status
  • Achievements

But we should be careful never to let any of these define us. If we do—in the same way that I did—we set ourselves up for disappointment in the long run.

We’re defined by these two things: our character and our commitments.

We’re defined by our values and our beliefs, and by how courageously and resolutely we live them out.

There’s no doubt that physical health matters, but it’s our character and commitments that are of lasting worth.

Lesson #3: Happiness is a battle

My back injury made it difficult for me to be happy.

Hey, I wrote a book called The Happy Student, so I work hard at being happy and discovering the keys to long-term happiness.

I’d be a hypocrite if I walked around with a frowny face all day long, right?

But my back pain was so continuous, so present, and so severe that it was a challenge for me to think of anything besides the pain.

That’s when I understood afresh that happiness isn’t an emotion; it’s a choice. More than that, it’s a battle—most of the time, an uphill one.

It’s a fact that life is tough, and it’s full of stress and struggle. It’s also a fact that anything worth achieving usually takes twice as much effort and twice as long as you’d initially estimated.

Does this mean we’ll never be happy?

Of course not. It just means that if you want to be happy—to have a good life, not just an occasional good day—then you’ll have to fight for your happiness.

Every time you choose to be grateful, choose to pay a sincere compliment, choose to look for opportunities amidst the problems, choose to give hope to someone in a seemingly hopeless situation… you’re winning the battle, one blow at a time.

Choosing to be habitually joyful is a decision of the will, a declaration of intentionality, an act of courage.

It’s a choice I’m still learning to make daily regardless of my circumstances, but I know it’s one we all need to embrace if we want to find enduring peace and fulfillment.

In closing…

I’m thrilled that I’ve almost fully recovered from the injury. Now when I pick up something from the floor or bend down to tie my shoelaces, I’m uncommonly thankful I can! I definitely won’t be taking my health for granted in the near future.

I’m even more thankful that I could learn these three lessons for myself and share them with you. Now you don’t need to injure your back to learn them. 🙂

Filed Under: Attitude, General, Happiness, Relationships

Too Young to Make a Choice, Too Old to Make a Change?

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong

puppy stuck in tree

Your parents love you a lot.

That’s why, when you were growing up, they probably made a lot of decisions for you:

  • What clothes you wore
  • Which schools you attended
  • What kind of sports and activities you participated in
  • Which friends you hung out with
  • Which toys you played with
  • Which TV shows you watched
  • What time you went to bed

As a kid, you naturally gave in to what your parents wanted you to do.

After all, they knew what was best for you.

(In this other article I wrote, I challenge the idea that parents want what’s best for their children. Most of the time, they only want what’s good.)

Feeling “stuck” when you’re young

I don’t doubt that parents have excellent intentions when they make choices on their children’s behalf.

But, very often, this is the message that gets communicated to their children:

“You’re too young to make a choice. You’re naïve and foolish, so I’ll make the choice for you.”

Many children grow up believing this message well into their late teens and early 20s. This is a problem.

At the end of the day, all of us need to take full responsibility for our lives. No matter how terrible or overbearing our parents are, we should never blame them for the way our lives turn out.

I don’t deny, however, that our parents have a huge impact on our lives.

The older you get, the more of your own choices you get to make, but many parents still act as if they should always have the final say.

Feeling “stuck” when you’re old

Some time in your late teens or early 20s, you start your first full-time job. You begin taking on a variety of responsibilities: financial, social, family.

Up until that point in your life, you might have felt like you were too young to make a choice.

With all these responsibilities and “adult” things to deal with, you experience a sharp transition.

You’re now too old to make a change.

“I can’t quit my job. If I do, what will happen to my mortgage payments?”

“If I start my own business and fail, how will I provide for my family?”

“If I don’t go down the ‘safe’ path, what will other people think of me? What will my parents think of me?”

Four beliefs to embrace if you want to get “unstuck”

This is a frustrating, painful and helpless situation that many young adults find themselves in.

There’s a way out, but it requires you to embrace these four beliefs:

1. If you want to find happiness and fulfillment, you must run your own race.

Many of us try to run the race that other people want us to run. If we do that, we effectively place our long-term happiness in another person’s keeping.

Clearly, not a good idea.

Running your own race means that you’re only competing against yourself, not against other people.

2. Being a winner isn’t about finishing first. It’s about finishing well.

I’m sure you’ll agree with me that how you finish matters more than how you start.

That’s true in any sort of race or competition, and it’s also true in life.

But being a real winner—one who experiences enduring success—isn’t about finishing first. It’s about finishing well and finishing strong.

It’s about leading a meaningful life that you can be proud of.

It’s about making a difference in the lives of others.

When you understand this, it won’t be so difficult to make changes later on in your life, because you won’t be overly concerned about getting “left behind” if your decisions don’t work out.

3. You’re never too old to dream a new dream.

Neither are you too old to set a new goal.

You won’t achieve every one of your goals, and you won’t realize every one of your dreams.

But joy and meaning are found in the pursuit—and not the attainment—of purposeful goals and dreams.

It’s an unfortunate fact that dreams do die. Choose to walk away from the disappointment and dream a new dream.

4. Being “stuck” isn’t a feeling. It’s a choice.

If you feel “stuck” but aren’t willing to take action to improve your situation, then you’ve chosen to be stuck.

When you start asking “How can I?” instead of “Can I?” you’ll begin to see that there’s always something you can do. There’s always a way out.

The solution may not be immediate, and it may not be easy. But it’s there for you to choose. So choose bravely and wisely.

In closing…

Contrary to how many of us feel as we mature from childhood to adulthood, we’re never too young to make a choice, and we’re never too old to make a change.

Life is too short and too full of wondrous potential for us to feel stuck.

Today, let’s make a choice and make a change.

(This post was inspired by Veronika Decides to Die by Paulo Coelho.)

Filed Under: Attitude, Happiness, Perspective, Success

Do You Want To Lead A Meaningful Or Memorable Life?

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong

motivational poster

Who could disagree with this saying?

Those crazy nights that often involve alcohol, friends, loud music and irresponsible behavior—those are the ones that remain permanently etched in your mind.

You’re probably not going to say something like, “For the past month, I’ve slept at least eight hours every single night. It’s been AMAZING!”

Everyone enjoys talking about the wonderful things that have happened in the past and reminiscing about the good old days.

It’s also undeniable that shared memories bond people together. That’s why leaders intentionally create shared experiences in an attempt to foster unity and camaraderie.

Why good memories can be bad

But, at the same time, I think that memories are overrated.

The increased accessibility to innovations like photography has made it possible to conveniently record our memories—maybe too conveniently. It’s not uncommon to see people at any sort of event who are so intent on snapping the perfect picture that they forget to take it all in, to fully experience the sights, sounds and emotions. (I’ll admit that sometimes I’m guilty of this too!)

They’re so caught up trying to capture the moment that they fail to enjoy the moment.

The over-glorification of memories often causes the present moment to be eroded of its rightful significance. After all, the only moment we ever really have is the present one. It’s in the present moment that we experience life and create lasting success.

Moreover, if we focus too much on memories, it’s possible that we can become inward-looking and self-centered.

Making selfish memories?

I have a story that illustrates this.

More than 15 years ago, my Aunt Violet passed away after an agonizing battle with cancer. In the last few months of her life, the cancer reduced her to a walking skeleton and robbed her of some of her mental capacity, too.

It was heartbreaking to watch Aunt Violet degenerate physically.

But it was especially shocking when Aunt Violet’s good friend (I’ll call her Jane) declared that she wasn’t going to visit any more.

The reason? Jane wanted to preserve her memory of Aunt Violet as a strong, healthy and happy person. If Jane had frequently visited Aunt Violet in the hospital, Jane would have remembered her as a frail, emaciated and exhausted person instead.

Is it understandable that Jane made that decision? Sure.

But was it also an inward-looking one that prevented Aunt Violet from saying a proper farewell to her good friend Jane? Without a doubt.

Because our memories only exist inside of our own head—and no one else’s—the desire to make pleasant memories can be an insular one that, at times, has selfish motivations.

Create meaning, not memories

All this talk about the value of memories begs a deeper question: What’s the point of life, anyway?

I don’t claim to know the exact meaning of life, but I do know that life isn’t mainly about accumulating fond memories. If that were the primary purpose of life, that would be far too trivial a reason for our existence.

Life is much more about making a difference in the lives of others, about contributing, about loving people, about being immersed in a story that’s far greater than yourself.

The point of life isn’t to create more and more fantastic, unforgettable and epic memories. Rather, I believe that life is largely about creating meaning.

Amazing memories ought to be the by-product of purposeful living. Memories are little treasures that you pick up along the way, but they aren’t what the journey is about.

In closing, a memorable life isn’t necessarily a meaningful one, but a meaningful life is certainly a memorable one.

So let’s choose meaning over memories. Ironically, that’s the way to create the most beautiful memories of all.

Filed Under: Happiness, Perspective

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