Teens Archives - Daniel Wong

Is My Teenager a Narcissist? Signs to Take Note of (And How to Handle Narcissism in Teens)

October 18, 2025 By Daniel Wong Leave a Comment

Does your teenager often seem entitled and demanding?

Do they crave attention and praise but show little care or empathy for others?

If you’ve ever asked yourself whether your teen might be a narcissist, you’re not alone. Many parents find it challenging to distinguish between what’s normal and what isn’t.

After all, the teenage years are a time of significant change, and it’s natural for teens to become more self-focused as they figure out who they are.

While true narcissistic personality disorder in teens requires a professional diagnosis, recognizing concerning patterns early can help parents provide the right support.

In general, a narcissistic teenager often shows a clear pattern of arrogance, lack of empathy, and an excessive need for admiration. They might seem bold and confident, but this often hides insecurity or discipline problems.

In this article, we’ll dive deeper into the key traits of a narcissistic teenager. This will help you understand what can be normal and what might be cause for concern. We’ll also explore the steps you can take if you notice these signs in your teen.

(If your teen also lacks motivation, make sure to download the free e-book below.)

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Key characteristics of a narcissistic teenager

It can be worrying or confusing when your teen shows behaviors that seem self-centered or dismissive of others. We can’t expect our teens to be perfect, but it’s important for us to tell the difference between normal “teenage attitude” and narcissism.

Here are some common traits of narcissism in teens to watch for:

Inflated sense of self-importance

Narcissistic teenagers often brag about their talents, appearance, or achievements. They may exaggerate or lie about their achievements to get praise.

They also tend to believe they are superior to their peers. As a result, they might dismiss or look down on other people’s needs and opinions.

Of course, this doesn’t mean your teen can’t show self-confidence or pride in their achievements. It’s healthy for them to build a positive self-image. But at the same time, they should also be able to show kindness and respect toward those around them.

Lack of empathy

One of the hallmark signs of narcissism in teenagers is a lack of concern for others.

Narcissistic teens often downplay or dismiss the feelings, needs, or opinions of the people around them.

They might brush off a friend’s struggles or show little compassion for someone in need. For example, they might laugh when a classmate trips and drops their books, or roll their eyes when you mention wanting to donate money to a charity.

They may also disregard the emotions of others and overlook the impact of their words or actions on other people.

This doesn’t mean your teen is expected to put the needs of others above their own all the time. However, they need to be able to show support and concern for other people.

Sense of entitlement

Teens with narcissism believe they deserve special privileges without putting in any effort to earn them.

They often expect things to go their way and for others to comply to keep them happy. When their expectations aren’t met, they can react with frustration and anger, or even throw tantrums.

Additionally, entitled teens might resist rules and boundaries at home or school. They might want the newest phone even though their old one still works, or demand designer clothes while refusing to do anything to earn them.

Constant need for attention and admiration

Most teenagers enjoy receiving recognition. In fact, it’s healthy for them to receive support and encouragement when they achieve something or try new things.

However, narcissistic teens constantly crave this. They thrive on likes and comments on social media and may become restless, upset, or even act out when they’re not in the spotlight.

All teens need validation from the important people in their lives. But if your teen always goes out of their way to draw attention to themselves, it’s a warning sign.

Manipulative behavior

Teenagers with narcissistic traits often use manipulation to get what they want. This can take many forms, such as guilt-tripping, lying, or twisting the truth to suit their case.

They might say things like, “If you really loved me, you’d let me go to that party,” or “Everyone else’s parents let them stay out until midnight.”

They may exaggerate stories to get sympathy. They may also avoid owning up to mistakes, often blaming others for their own actions. They might even convince other people that it’s actually their fault.

Arrogance

Narcissistic teenagers may sometimes come across as arrogant, condescending, or dismissive toward others.

As a result, they tend to belittle others or downplay their accomplishments. Oftentimes, this behavior creates tension in friendships and family relationships.

This arrogance can also make them envious of others, while believing that everyone else is jealous of them.

Difficulty handling criticism

Criticism can sting, even for adults. So it’s natural for teens to feel disappointed or upset when they receive negative feedback.

But for narcissistic teenagers, any form of correction can feel almost unbearable.

In these moments, they may respond with anger, defensiveness, or withdrawal. This often manifests as lashing out, blaming others, or shutting down completely rather than taking time to process the feedback.

These behaviors can be frustrating, but they often stem from your teen feeling ashamed or inadequate.

Preoccupation with fantasies

Some narcissistic teens tend to spend a lot of time imagining their success, fame, and influence. They might practice an Oscar speech without ever taking a drama class, or think about their dream mansion while failing their classes.

Teens can and should have ambitions and goals, and some form of daydreaming is also normal.

However, a constant preoccupation with unrealistic fantasies might point to narcissism. These teens might also expect others to support or fulfill these fantasies for them.

Narcissistic behaviors in teenage boys vs. teenage girls

Narcissistic behaviors can show up differently in teenage boys and girls. While the core traits are similar, the way they’re expressed often depends on social roles and personal insecurities.

Understanding these differences can help you spot patterns of narcissistic behavior more accurately.

Teenage boys

Narcissism in teenage boys often shows up in bold and noticeable ways. They might come across as arrogant, entitled, or demanding. Sometimes, they may also use aggression, anger, or hostility to cover up their insecurities.

These traits can manifest in various situations. Examples include bullying others to feel superior, like mocking a younger kid’s basketball skills or spreading rumors about someone who got a better test score.

You might also catch them rebelling against authority figures who try to correct them. They may also exaggerate their strengths or achievements to impress others or maintain a sense of control.

These behaviors can be challenging to deal with. But it’s essential to remember that many of these issues stem from deep-seated insecurity or a lack of proper guidance.

Teenage girls

For teenage girls, narcissism can often show up in more subtle ways. The signs of narcissism in teenage girls include focusing on validation and competing with peers rather than showing obvious aggression.

To maintain their social status, some teen girls may resort to manipulation or exploitation. This can show up as excluding others, playing the victim, or gossiping about friends.

Some examples include uninviting a friend from a sleepover, saying “everyone hates me” when corrected, or posting private texts in a group chat.

For many, appearance and the pursuit of perfection become top priorities.

These behaviors can be confusing and hurtful for those around them. But it’s important to recognize that they can stem from low self-esteem and a fear of not being good enough.

Is it really that bad? Understanding the risks

It’s natural for teenagers to want more independence and to feel more confident at this stage of life. As they begin shaping their identity, it’s also normal for them to become more self-focused. But they should still be able to show care, empathy, and love toward the people around them.

When teens become overly focused on themselves with little regard for others, it may be a sign of narcissism. If your teen is often dishonest or manipulative, this may not be typical teen behavior.

In these cases, it’s important to look deeper at what may be driving their actions.

In the short term, narcissism in your teen can create ongoing conflict and put a strain on family and peer relationships. These behaviors often push others away. As a result, your teen may feel isolated, frustrated, or misunderstood.

In the long term, the risks are even more concerning. If these patterns persist into adulthood, your teenager may struggle to form strong relationships. Due to their lack of concern for those around them, they may even put themselves or others in unhealthy situations. These harms may be emotional, financial, or even physical.

What parents can do about a narcissistic teenager

Parenting teens isn’t easy. We all want our teens to grow into adults who can love and care for others in a genuine way.

As parents, we play a key role in helping them cultivate important values like kindness and compassion. These will form the foundation for healthy relationships throughout their lives.

If your teen is displaying narcissistic traits, it’s important to address the issue sooner rather than later. It won’t always be easy, and you may face resistance or defiance along the way.

Whether you’re learning how to deal with a narcissistic teenage son or daughter, these strategies can increase your chances of success and guide your teen toward healthier behaviors.

Stay calm and don’t take it personally

When your teen hurts or manipulates you, pause for a moment. Don’t assume they’re being mean on purpose. Look deeper.

Their behavior may be driven by insecurity, anxiety, stress, or even a lack of clear guidance and boundaries.

Try to remain calm and avoid responding emotionally. It is definitely easier said than done, but taking their words or actions too personally can cause the conflict to escalate and make it harder for them to respect and listen to you.

Set clear boundaries

Teens are still at a stage in life where they need guidance. That’s why it’s crucial to establish clear boundaries and enforce consequences when they’re crossed.

Some examples of helpful boundaries at home include:

No yelling, name-calling, or putting others down
Completing chores or helping out before enjoying privileges
Setting limits on daily screen time
Sticking to agreed curfews when going out and promptly informing you if plans change

It’s also crucial to connect consequences to the boundary that was broken.

For example, if your teen ignores their curfew, they might lose the privilege of going out the following weekend. This not only reinforces the rule but also helps your teen understand the importance of accountability.

Your teen might try to reject or push back against these rules you’ve set. But as long as you reinforce them calmly and have conversations with your teen about them, your teen will usually accept them if they’re reasonable boundaries.

Model empathy

Narcissistic teens often live in a world of their own. But it’s never too late to help them pop that bubble and start thinking about others.

Start by showing empathy through your own actions and conversations. For example, if a family friend is sick, involve your teen in putting together a “get well soon” kit.

If your community is hosting a volunteer event, consider attending it together. And when your teen comes to you with problems, listen attentively, validate their feelings, and don’t interrupt them.

When your teen sees you practicing empathy in everyday life, they’re more likely to mirror those behaviors.

Encourage self-awareness

Narcissists have trouble acknowledging the impact of their actions. They may deny responsibility, blame others, or ignore the consequences of their behavior.

Helping your teen build self-awareness is the key to breaking this pattern. The goal isn’t to shame them, but to guide them toward recognizing how their words and actions can have a profound influence on those around them.

Here are a few ways parents can encourage self-awareness in their teens:

Ask reflective questions like, “How do you think your friend felt when that happened?”
Encourage journaling to help them process their emotions and behaviors
Brainstorm alternative ways they could have responded in certain situations
When you notice hurtful behavior from others, point out that specific behavior and its consequences
Praise your teens in moments when they show accountability or empathy for their family or friends

Building self-awareness takes time, but consistent guidance can help your teen start making connections between their behavior and its impact on others.

Limit social media pressure

It’s easy for teens to tie their self-worth to likes, followers, and online validation.

Constantly comparing themselves to peers can create unhealthy competition and damage their self-esteem. To cover up these insecurities, some teens may turn to narcissistic behaviors, like putting others down out of jealousy.

As a parent, you can guide your teen toward healthier social media habits. Try setting limits on screen time and encouraging offline hobbies, such as sports, arts, or crafts. You can also create screen-free times and zones, like during family meals, to promote bonding and better communication at home.

Seek professional help

If you’ve been trying different strategies to help your teen without much success, it’s time to seek professional help. This is especially important if their behavior causes serious issues at home, at school, or in their social relationships.

Treatment for teen narcissistic personality disorder through psychologists, therapists, or coaches can help your teen:

Develop healthy coping strategies to manage anger, stress, and envy
Build empathy and emotional awareness
Strengthen communication and conflict-resolution skills
Reflect on the impact of their words and actions
Learn values like respect, accountability, and compassion

Working with a professional allows your teens to share their concerns and work on themselves in a safe and non-judgmental space.

That said, professional support isn’t only for teens. Parents can also benefit from it.

Guidance from a family counselor, therapist, or coach can help you:

Reflect on parenting styles and how they may influence your teen’s behavior
Improve communication with your teens and reduce conflicts at home
Learn strategies to manage frustration, disappointment, and burnout
Strengthen trust, connection, and emotional bonds with your teen
Create a safe, respectful, and empathetic home environment
Set firm boundaries and follow through with implementing them
Prioritize self-care in practical ways, so you can better support your teen

With the right support, change is absolutely possible for both you and your teen.

When to seek professional help

While some self-centered behavior is common in adolescence, certain red flags suggest your teen may need extra support, such as:

Persistent difficulty forming or maintaining friendships
Strained family relationships due to constant conflicts
Frequent aggressive outbursts and temper tantrums
Consistent dishonesty, manipulation, or “playing the victim”
Lack of empathy or concern for others, even in serious situations
Obsession with appearance, popularity, or social status at the expense of other priorities
Inability to take responsibility for mistakes and a tendency to blame others
Declining academic performance
Behavioral issues at school

Remember, displaying narcissistic traits doesn’t mean your teen is doomed to become a narcissistic adult. With the right guidance and support, teenagers can develop healthy values.

Conclusion

Narcissistic teenagers typically don’t act out of spite or malice.

More often, their self-centeredness and arrogance are cries for guidance, security, or attention. That’s why it’s important for parents to respond not with panic or guilt, but with calmness and understanding.

Striking the balance between firmness and compassion isn’t always easy, but it is possible. With your help, your teen can rebuild their confidence and form meaningful relationships with those around them.

If you believe your teen could benefit from additional support, I’d be happy to help. Through this 1:1 coaching program, I work with teens to develop empathy, motivation, resilience, and life skills.

(If you haven’t already done so, download your free e-book below.)

FREE E-BOOK:

Get your FREE copy of

16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.

The e-book has already been downloaded by many thousands of parents, so don't miss out!

How to Deal with a Lying Teenager: 8 Ways to Encourage Honesty

September 2, 2025 By Daniel Wong Leave a Comment

Catching your teen in a lie can be frustrating, especially when you’re trying to build a relationship based on trust.

In those moments, it’s easy to assume your teen is just being defiant or rebellious.

This often leads to punishments or harsh words without stopping to ask why the lie occurred in the first place.

The truth is, teens don’t usually lie just to be difficult. It’s often a coping mechanism they’ve developed in response to their experiences or environment.

To address the issue at its root, it’s crucial to understand the underlying reasons behind the behavior.

In this article, we’ll look at why teens lie and how to deal with a lying teenager. The goal isn’t just to reduce lying in your teens but also to communicate effectively and create a safe space for them.

(Don’t forget to download your free quick action guide below.)

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Why do teenagers lie?

Teenagers often lie for reasons that go beyond simple misbehavior.

The following are some possible reasons why teens might lie:

To avoid getting into trouble. Teens may lie to escape punishment when they know they’ve done something wrong.
To protect themselves. If they feel afraid, lying can be a way to shield themselves emotionally or physically.
To gain freedom. Some teenagers lie to get permission to do things they know would otherwise be off-limits.
Due to peer pressure. They might lie to fit in with friends or avoid embarrassment.
Low self-esteem. Insecure teens may lie to make themselves seem more capable, confident, or interesting.
To feel in control. Lying can be a way to push back against rules or reclaim independence.
Lack of awareness. Some teens may not fully understand the harm certain lies can cause.
To maintain privacy. As they grow older, teens naturally seek more privacy and may lie to guard it.

Understanding the possible reasons behind your teen’s lies allows you to meet dishonesty with care and empathy. This forms the foundation for building deeper trust and connection.

Is lying a normal part of teen development?

Occasional lying is a normal part of teen development, and for some teens, it can even be a sign of healthy social growth.

During these years, teenagers want to explore their identity and assert their independence. Lying can sometimes be a way to protect their privacy, avoid embarrassment, or experiment with new things.

In some cases, they might even lie with a good motive, such as protecting someone else’s feelings.

The important thing is knowing the difference between what’s typical and what could be concerning.

Here are some red flags that may reveal aspects of a lying teenager’s psychology:

A consistent pattern of lying, even about small things
Lying to manipulate, control, or avoid consequences
Lies that hurt, endanger, or emotionally harm themselves or others
Hiding unsafe behaviors like substance use or reckless driving
Lack of remorse or empathy after being caught in a lie
Lying as a default response, even when the truth wouldn’t have serious consequences

If lying becomes frequent, secretive, or harmful, it may be a sign that your teenagers are struggling with deeper challenges.

That’s when they need both your support and correction.

8 effective ways to reduce teenage lying

Getting your teens to stop lying isn’t as simple as punishing them when they slip up.

Harsh reactions can backfire and encourage them to hide things from you because they no longer feel safe being honest.

Of course, this doesn’t mean lying should go without consequences. But the key is finding a balance.

You can create an environment where your teens feel safe enough to open up and share their thoughts. At the same time, you can also help them understand that honesty matters and that lying has real consequences.

Let’s explore what to do when your teenager lies.

1. Model honesty yourself

Research has already established that parents are very influential role models in the lives of their teens.

Even when you don’t notice it, your teens are constantly watching how you act and picking up on your behavior.

If they see you bending the truth, they may start to believe that dishonesty is acceptable. This includes small acts, such as making excuses instead of owning up to a mistake or telling a white lie to spare someone’s feelings.

These moments might seem harmless, but they can send mixed messages. That’s why it’s essential to model honesty in a manner that’s kind, respectful, and thoughtful.

When your teens see you practicing truth-telling with care, they learn that honesty isn’t about being blunt or critical; it’s about being genuine. They’ll learn how to speak the truth with kindness and empathy.

Modeling this for your teens can help them build integrity and encourage them to be truthful in their own lives, even when it’s hard.

Teens are much more likely to value honesty if they regularly see it in action at home.

2. Stay calm when your teen actually tells the truth

It’s completely natural to feel upset when your teenagers admit to something they wish hadn’t happened.

Maybe they broke a rule or got a bad grade at school. But if your initial reaction is anger or rage, your teen may start hiding things from you out of fear.

When they own up to something, stay calm in the moment.

You can still talk about the consequences later, but your initial response will set the tone. Thank them for being honest, and ask questions to understand the whole story.

When teens know they can come to you without being immediately judged or punished, they’re far more likely to be honest in the future.

3. Don’t set unrealistic rules

When your rules are too strict or your expectations feel impossible to meet, your teens might lie for different reasons.

For example, if you expect perfect grades and complete obedience, your teen could hide some things to avoid disappointing you.

Of course, it can sometimes be tricky to tell what’s unrealistic, and these standards may vary from one teenager to another.

But say your teen is afraid to come to you with bad news, always hides things, or feels insecure and unsure of themselves. If so, your expectations may need to be adjusted to make room for honesty and growth.

It’s also helpful to have open conversations about the house rules for your teens and the consequences of breaking them. That way, they may feel more involved in the decision-making process.

4. Give them privacy

Teens need space to grow and build independence. But if they feel like you’re always watching, questioning, or controlling them, they may start lying to protect their personal space.

Giving your teens privacy doesn’t mean backing off completely or ignoring red flags.

Instead, it’s best to respect their need for privacy, such as allowing them to have their own conversations with friends in most situations.

It’s also vital to avoid secretive actions. For example, you might check their phone, read their journal, or track their location without them knowing.

Doing this behind their backs can break trust and damage your relationship. If you’re concerned about their safety or well-being, it’s better to have an honest conversation and explain why you’re checking in.

5. Make consequences logical, not punitive

Harsh punishments can backfire by making teens more secretive and less likely to open up.

Instead, set reasonable and logical consequences. This type of consequence focuses specifically on addressing the problem caused by your teen.

Let’s say your teen lies about getting home before curfew. In this case, grounding them the following weekend makes sense and is directly related to the behavior.

According to research, teens are more likely to respond positively to logical consequences.

Consequences like these help your teens understand cause and effect without creating shame or pain. The goal is to teach, so they can learn from their actions and make better choices in the future.

6. Encourage open dialogue

Instead of lecturing or nagging your teens, create opportunities for open and honest conversations. The key here is to intentionally connect with your teens.

You can ask them open-ended questions like, “How have you been feeling about school lately?” or “Is anything making you anxious right now?”

Show genuine curiosity and avoid overreacting when they do or don’t open up. When teens feel like they can talk to you without being judged, they’re far less likely to lie.

7. Watch for patterns and triggers

Lying is often a sign of something deeper, such as a fear of failure, low self-esteem, or the feeling of being misunderstood.

Instead of seeing lies as just bad behavior, try to look for the patterns or emotional triggers behind them.

For example, if your teens often lie about grades, they might be afraid of disappointing you or feel pressure to meet high expectations. If they lie mainly around friends or new people, they may feel the need to fit in or be accepted.

And if they often lie after breaking house rules, it could be a sign that they’re struggling with tight boundaries and fear the consequences.

By noticing when and why the lies tend to happen, you can better understand what your teen might be trying to avoid or protect. This insight can help you support their needs more effectively.

8. Get professional help if needed

Lying can become frequent, manipulative, or tied to risky behaviors like substance use or reckless driving. In such cases, it’s best to seek support from a professional.

Professionals can help uncover the underlying issues behind the behavior. At the same time, they can provide both you and your teen with healthier communication and coping strategies.

As an example, I offer this one-on-one coaching program for teens.

Reaching out for help isn’t a sign of failure; it’s a sign of strength and courage. It shows your commitment to your teen’s well-being and your willingness to strengthen the relationship.

Conclusion

Catching your teen in a lie can trigger frustration, disappointment, and anger.

But as the adult in the situation, you need to pause and manage your emotions before responding. Reacting with harshness will likely push your teen further away and reinforce the very behavior you’re trying to stop.

So approach each situation with curiosity and care. You can still be firm and set appropriate consequences, but do so in a way that guides rather than punishes.

By doing this, you’ll lay the groundwork for a healthy and honest relationship with your teenagers.

(If you haven’t already done so, download your free quick action guide below.)

FREE QUICK ACTION GUIDE:

Get your FREE copy of

10 Proven Ways to Get Your Teenager to Listen to You.

The tips are guaranteed to help you get through to your teen, so download your copy today!

Self-Care for Teens: 13 Activities to Reduce Stress and Boost Happiness

Updated on September 30, 2025 By Daniel Wong 2 Comments

Do you sometimes feel like you’re running on empty but don’t know how to hit pause?

Juggling school, exams, activities, and household responsibilities can make daily life feel overwhelming.

And when things get hectic, it’s easy to forget about your mental and physical well-being.

That’s where self-care comes in.

It allows you to slow down, recharge, and care for yourself so you’re ready to tackle whatever comes next.

In this article, we’ll explore some simple and effective self-care activities for teens. By building these self-care habits now, they’ll become second nature.

This foundation will make it easier to manage stress and maintain a more balanced, healthy lifestyle in the future.

(And if you want to improve your focus and reduce procrastination, make sure to download your free quick action guide below!)

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Why self-care matters (especially for teens)

As a teenager, self-care might feel like something you can put off. You’re young, full of energy, and probably busy with school, activities, and other commitments.

But constantly pushing forward without taking time to rest and recharge can take a toll on your mental and physical health.

The earlier you start building this essential life skill, the more you’ll benefit both now and in the future.

Here are some key benefits of practicing self-care for teens:

Reducing burnout and exhaustion: Taking time to recharge means you’re less likely to feel drained, tired, or overwhelmed.
Boosting your mood: Self-care can help you feel calmer and empower you to handle tough emotions. Research shows that it is linked to reduced stress and better mental health.
Improving focus and motivation: Stress or fatigue can affect your focus. You’ll find it easier to concentrate at school or during activities when you’re well-rested.
Enhancing physical health: Taking care of your body can help you maintain good health. You can do this through rest, a balanced diet, and stress management.
Building resilience: Being healthy gives you the strength and capacity to take on challenges. You’ll be able to bounce back from challenges, stay calm under pressure, and make decisions with clarity and confidence.

While building self-care habits takes time, effort, and sometimes a little money, it’s worth it. Investing in yourself now will ultimately lead to a more fulfilling and meaningful life.

Self-care ideas and activities for teens

Self-care doesn’t need to be time-consuming or expensive. It’s really about making small, intentional choices that help you feel better, inside and out.

Self-care is most effective when it becomes a consistent part of your routine.

The key is choosing habits that are realistic and easy to stick with. Let’s explore some self-care tips and ideas for teens.

Physical self-care activities

The teen years are a time of huge change. Taking care of your body now helps support your growth and builds a strong foundation for good health.

The following are some self-care ideas to help you maintain your physical wellness.

Get the sleep you need

According to the National Sleep Foundation, teenagers need 8-10 hours of sleep each night.

Getting enough sleep helps your brain recharge, sharpens your focus, and lifts your mood.

To get better sleep, you can:

Stick to a consistent sleep schedule.
Create a wind-down routine, like reading, listening to music, practicing skincare, or taking a warm bath.
Put your devices away an hour before bed.
Create a dark, cool, and comfortable bedroom environment.

Fuel your body with real food

If you often feel tired or low on energy, it could be a sign that your body isn’t getting the nutrients it needs.

Eating balanced meals with enough fiber, protein, and whole grains provides your body with the fuel it needs to grow, stay strong, and feel good.

Even small steps, like drinking more water or adding more fruits and vegetables to your meals, can make a significant difference over time.

Move in ways that make you feel good

Regular exercise improves heart health, strengthens bones, and boosts energy levels. It also supports mental health by lowering stress and anxiety, while boosting self-esteem.

Experts recommend about 60 minutes of physical activity on most days of the week.

But you don’t need to hit that number right off the bat. Start small with something you enjoy, like walking, cycling, or trying a new sport, and build from there.

The key is to make movement a regular part of your life. Sticking with it is easier when it’s fun and fits your lifestyle.

Mental self-care activities

Taking care of your mind is as important as caring for your body.

Mental self-care helps you manage stress and remain resilient, even when experiencing change or pressure.

Here are some self-care tips for teens to improve their mental well-being.

Practice mindfulness to stay present

Mindfulness is about staying present and being aware of your thoughts and feelings without judging them.

There are many different ways to incorporate mindfulness into your daily life, including the following:

Try deep breathing. Inhale slowly, hold your breath, and exhale. Do this a few times to calm your mind.
Go for a mindful walk. Focus on your steps, your breathing, and your surroundings.
Do a quick body scan. Close your eyes and notice how each part of your body feels.
Journal your thoughts. Write about how you’re feeling or what’s on your mind.
Eat without distractions. Focus on the taste, smell, and texture of your food.

Be kinder to yourself with positive self-talk

The way you talk to yourself has a big impact on how you feel.

Pay attention to your inner voice. Are you being overly critical or negative?

If so, try to shift that voice to one that’s more supportive.

Talk to yourself like you would to a close friend. Over time, this will boost your confidence and emotional well-being.

Find coping tools that work for you

Coping strategies help you manage stress and challenges in a healthy way.

Some examples of healthy coping strategies include exercising, drawing, playing music, or journaling.

Your coping mechanism can even be as simple as listening to calming music, taking a warm bath, or cuddling a pet.

The key is to experiment with different strategies until you find one that works for you.

Express your emotions in healthy ways

Bottling up your emotions can build stress and make you feel overwhelmed. Instead of keeping everything inside, try different ways to release your feelings.

You could write in a journal, create music or art, or simply talk to someone you trust, like a parent, teacher, or school counselor.

Finding healthy ways to express and process your feelings can help prevent negative emotions from building up.

The more you practice this, the easier it becomes to handle tough situations with a clear mind and a calm attitude.

Social self-care activities

Social self-care is about building healthy relationships that make you feel safe and understood.

Like any skill, maintaining these connections takes time, effort, and practice.

But caring for your social well-being will also help you build confidence and create a support network you can lean on.

Spend time with people who “get” you

Hang out and connect with people who make you feel safe and supported, whether that’s your parents, close friends, relatives, or mentors.

You can catch up over a meal, go for a walk, play a game, or chat about life. What matters most is being present and enjoying each other’s company.

If you’re struggling to find people who understand you, don’t worry. Building healthy connections takes time.

You can try joining school clubs, volunteer groups, or local events. You may also consider speaking with a counselor or trusted adult for support.

And remember not to focus too much on yourself. If you want people to “get” you, you also need to put in the effort to understand others and support them.

Set boundaries to protect your energy

Setting boundaries is often overlooked, but it is a key part of building healthy relationships.

Some examples of ways to set healthy boundaries include:

Saying no to events or activities if you’re too tired or busy
Replying to messages when you’re available to, instead of being available 24/7
Speaking up about hurtful behavior
Not giving in to peer pressure and not doing things that make you uncomfortable

Remember that protecting your time, energy, and emotions is not selfish but necessary.

When you set clear boundaries, you create space for relationships in which each person’s needs and limits are respected.

Creative self-care activities

Being creative is a great way to unwind, lower stress, and enjoy yourself. Creative activities also provide a healthy outlet for expressing your thoughts and emotions.

Here are some ways you can spark your creativity.

Try a new hobby (or rediscover an old one)

Trying out a new hobby is an excellent way to hone your creativity while learning a new skill.

There are plenty of new hobbies you can try, such as baking, photography, or learning to play a new sport or musical instrument.

Use creativity to process your emotions

Research shows that creative activities can improve mental health. They do so by boosting your mood, reducing stress, and helping you feel more confident.

So don’t be afraid to try different forms of creativity and see what makes you feel good.

There’s no right or wrong way to be creative. You can doodle in your notebook, make bracelets, create photo collages, or even decorate your bedroom.

Do a digital detox (even if it’s just for 30 minutes)

A digital detox has multiple science-backed benefits. These include better sleep, lower stress, and stronger social connections.

If you’d like to try it, you don’t necessarily have to give up using your phone. Instead, you can start small and slowly ease into it.

Try setting aside 30 minutes of screen-free time before bed and after waking up. You could also take a short break from screens after school.

Over time, you can work your way up to longer breaks and maybe even unplug for a full day each week.

Use this time to engage in other activities you enjoy, like spending time outdoors, talking with friends and family, or trying a new sport or hobby.

Spend time in nature to recharge

Spending time in nature is a simple yet powerful way to lift your mood and reduce stress. In fact, people who spend more time in nature report feeling happier and more fulfilled.

There are many ways to enjoy the outdoors.

You can take a walk around your neighborhood, sit quietly at the park, plan a picnic, visit the beach, try gardening, or go hiking.

Conclusion

Don’t wait until you’re stressed, burned out, or struggling before making time for yourself.

Even though you’re young and full of energy, self-care remains essential to maintaining your health during your teenage years.

The good news is that self-care for teens doesn’t require a significant amount of time, money, or energy.

You can start by choosing just one or two activities from the list above and gradually adding more as they become a natural part of your routine.

Over the years, I’ve supported many teens in developing routines and habits that help them feel balanced, confident, and healthy.

I’d be happy to do the same for you through my one-on-one coaching program and equip you with the skills you need to build a bright and happy future!

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12 Best Jobs for Teenagers (With Little to No Experience Required)

Updated on May 19, 2025 By Daniel Wong 3 Comments

Looking for the best jobs for teenagers with no experience required?

You’re not alone—and you have plenty of opportunities!

Plenty of well-paying jobs for teens don’t require a résumé full of experience. These roles don’t just pay. They build confidence, independence, and valuable life skills.

In this article, we’ll explore some of the best-paying jobs for teens with no experience.

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1. Dog walker

Dog walking is one of the best jobs for teenagers, and one of the most common. If you enjoy being around dogs and want to stay active, working as a dog walker could be the perfect job choice.

Many dog-walking platforms have a minimum age requirement, which might make it tricky for a teen to sign up.

But don’t worry because there are still alternatives. For instance, you can ask around your neighborhood or check with friends and family to see if they need help walking their dogs.

Why it’s suitable:

Dog walking requires no prior experience, making it an easy role to step into. It’s flexible, generally low-stress, and great for teens who enjoy working with animals and being outdoors.

Plus, it teaches responsibility and time management. After all, you’ll have to learn how to juggle working with multiple clients, schoolwork, and other commitments.

How much it pays:

Dog walkers typically earn between $14 and $20 per hour, depending on the location, experience level, and the number of dogs they walk at one time.

2. Babysitter

Babysitting is one of the most common jobs for teens. It involves looking after children while their parents are out.

The responsibilities can vary depending on the child’s age and needs.

You might be asked to play games, prepare light meals, help with homework, or prepare the kids for bed.

Why it’s suitable

Babysitting is ideal for teens who enjoy being around kids and want a flexible, beginner-friendly role. Plus, no formal experience is needed.

If you’re wondering what jobs you can get as a teenager, this one is right up there.

You can get started by asking family, neighbors, or friends. With repeat clients, it can turn into a steady source of income. This role can also help you build skills related to staying organized, solving problems, and communicating effectively.

How much it pays

On average, babysitters can earn $15 to $22 per hour. The rate depends on your experience, the number of children you look after, and the location.

3. Retail associate

As a retail associate, you’ll assist customers, operate the cash register, restock displays, and keep the store organized. You may also answer questions about the store’s products or policies.

Why it’s suitable

Many retail stores are open to hiring teens, especially for part-time or seasonal positions.

It’s an excellent opportunity to build strong customer service skills. You’ll also improve your communication, teamwork, and confidence. Plus, you can add this role to your résumé to give you a solid foundation for landing future jobs.

How much it pays

A retail associate typically earns around $13 to $18 per hour, depending on the location and employer.

4. Food service worker

Working in the food service industry can be both fast-paced and rewarding. You’ll take orders, serve food, clean tables, or handle the register.

Why it’s suitable

Fast-food restaurants and casual diners frequently hire teens, even if they have no prior work experience. These jobs often offer flexible scheduling, making them perfect for weekend, after-school, or holiday shifts.

The fast-paced nature of the job helps you build communication and multitasking skills. Over time, you’ll become more confident in solving problems and working under pressure. You may also gain valuable behind-the-scenes insights into how a business operates.

How much it pays

The average pay is around $13 to $17 per hour. Depending on where you work, customers may also tip you.

5. Tutor

If you excel in a particular subject, such as math, science, or English, you can help younger students who need extra support.

Tutoring can happen in person or online, and you can work with one student at a time or in small groups. It’s a flexible role that allows you to set your own schedule and focus on subjects you’re confident in.

Why it’s suitable

Tutoring is easy to step into and requires no formal experience or certification.

It offers a stable way to earn money while reinforcing your own knowledge. You’ll also build valuable soft skills like communication, patience, and leadership.

Plus, watching your students progress with your support makes the experience rewarding.

How much it pays

Tutoring can be one of the best-paying jobs for teens. Tutors typically earn between $15 and $25 per hour. This depends on the subject, grade level, number of students you tutor at once, and whether sessions are in-person or online.

6. Lawn care assistant

Working as a lawn care assistant could be a great fit if you enjoy being outside and don’t mind getting your hands a little dirty.

Beginners can start with basic tasks like mowing lawns, trimming hedges, watering plants, and tidying up yards.

Why it’s suitable

You don’t need any experience to become a lawn care assistant—just a willingness to learn and a strong work ethic.

This job is ideal for teens who enjoy working outdoors and want to stay physically active while earning extra income.

How much it pays

This role typically pays between $11 and $24 per hour, depending on your location, the type of tasks you perform, and the size of the job.

7. Lifeguard

Becoming a lifeguard is rewarding if you’re a strong swimmer and enjoy being around water.

Lifeguards ensure the safety of swimmers or beachgoers by monitoring the area and enforcing safety rules. They must also be ready to perform rescues when needed.

Why it’s suitable

While this role doesn’t require prior experience, you must be a proficient swimmer. You’ll also have to undergo lifeguard training and complete CPR and first aid certifications.

It’s a great opportunity for teens who enjoy staying active, working outdoors, and learning life-saving skills.

How much it pays

Lifeguards typically earn between $12 and $22 per hour, depending on location and employer.

8. Movie theater worker

Working at a movie theater can be fast-paced, especially during peak hours.

There’s a range of roles you can take on. These include selling tickets at the box office and serving popcorn and drinks at concessions. You may also be asked to help clean the theaters between shows and guide guests to their seats.

Why it’s suitable

Many movie theaters hire teens, often for evenings, weekends, and holidays, as these are their busiest periods. This role offers opportunities to sharpen your communication and customer service skills.

How much it pays

This job usually pays around $12 to $19 per hour.

9. Car wash attendant

As a car wash attendant, your main tasks involve cleaning the inside and outside of vehicles. You’ll also dry and wax them and answer customers’ questions about available services.

Why it’s suitable

You don’t need experience to get started, but it’s a great opportunity to learn how to work efficiently and responsibly. You’ll also learn valuable skills like time management and communication. In addition, interacting regularly with customers can help build your self-esteem and confidence.

How much it pays

Car wash attendants can usually earn $10 to $18 per hour, often with the potential for extra tips.

10. Grocery store clerk

In this job, you’ll help keep a grocery store running smoothly.

Tasks may include operating cash registers and bagging groceries. You may also stock shelves, clean aisles, organize displays, and help customers find what they need.

Why it’s suitable

Grocery stores typically offer flexible shifts that fit well around school schedules.

You’ll get to polish up your communication, customer service, and organizational skills. It’s also a good introduction to how retail businesses operate.

How much it pays

You can earn around $12 to $15 per hour as a grocery store clerk.

11. Amusement park staff

As an amusement park staff member, your primary role is to help create a fun and safe environment for guests.

You might be responsible for operating rides and answering visitors’ questions. Other duties can include selling tickets or snacks, managing ride queues, and helping to keep the park clean and organized.

The job requires energy, a friendly attitude, and good communication skills. So it’s an excellent fit for teens who enjoy working with people in a lively setting.

Why it’s suitable

These seasonal jobs are perfect for summer or school breaks. They’re ideal for teens who enjoy social and lively environments and want to meet new people.

You’ll also gain experience in customer service, problem-solving, and multitasking.

How much it pays

This role typically pays about $10 to $17 per hour.

12. Delivery personnel (on bicycle or scooter)

If you’re an older teen with access to a bicycle or scooter, working as a delivery person can be a great way to earn money while staying active.

Depending on what’s available in your area, you’ll deliver food, groceries, or small packages.

Some delivery apps allow teens to create a teen account with parental consent. This makes it easier to get started without needing to find clients yourself.

Why it’s suitable

This job requires no previous experience and is a great fit for self-motivated teens who enjoy working independently.

One of the biggest perks is the flexibility. You can set your own hours and easily schedule your work around school or other commitments.

How much it pays

The average amount you can earn as a delivery person is around $15 to $20 per hour, including tips from customers.

Conclusion

You don’t need years of experience to get a meaningful job that helps you earn some extra money.

Some of the best jobs for teenagers just require the willingness to learn. These jobs might not seem that exciting, but they can help you develop in areas like time management, communication, and confidence.

For personalized support to help you stay motivated and grow your skills, I’d love to help through the one-on-one coaching program I offer for teens!

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How to Stop Helicopter Parenting and Allow Your Teen to Be Independent

April 14, 2025 By Daniel Wong Leave a Comment

Helicopter parenting is like keeping the training wheels on your teen’s bike for too long.

When the time comes for your teens to ride on their own, they may not be able to go far without support.

As parents, we always want the best for our teens. Out of love and good intentions, we try to protect them from disappointment and failure.

But being overly protective or too involved can backfire. It stops your teens from developing the confidence and skills they need to navigate life independently.

In this article, I’ll explore common signs of helicopter parenting.

I’ll also walk you through some practical tips that can help you stop helicopter parenting your teenagers.

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What are helicopter parents?

Helicopter parents are those who “hover” over their teenagers’ lives. They closely monitor and control their teens to shield them from mistakes or disappointments.

These parents are very involved in their teens’ lives—social interactions, academics, and extracurricular activities. They often step in and solve issues before their teens have a chance to learn from them.

But research shows that helicopter parenting can have negative effects on teens. These include:

Lower self-esteem
Symptoms of anxiety or depression
Poorer ability to adapt to challenges
Struggles with emotional regulation and resilience
Lack of independence

Characteristics of helicopter parents

Helicopter parents often don’t realize they’re over-involved because their actions come from a place of love and good intentions.

Recognizing the signs can help you step back and give your teen room to grow.

Here are some traits of helicopter parents:

Overprotectiveness: Shielding your teen from risks, mistakes, or disappointment.
Fear of failure: Viewing mistakes as things that should be avoided instead of as learning opportunities.
Difficulty letting go: Making decisions for your teens without allowing them to voice their opinions.
Tendency to solve problems for your teen: Stepping in at the first sign of struggle or conflict.
Over-involvement: Managing every aspect of your teen’s life, such as academics, social life, and dating.
Constant supervision: Always monitoring your teen’s whereabouts and online activity.
Micromanaging school-related activities: Closely monitoring schoolwork, grades, and extracurricular activities.
Unrealistic expectations: Pressuring your teen to get good grades, awards, and accomplishments.
High anxiety: Frequently or constantly worrying about your teen’s well-being and future.

Helicopter parenting examples

Helicopter parenting can take many forms and often looks like protection.

Here are some common examples of how it plays out in the lives of teenagers:

Arguing with teachers over grades instead of letting your teens advocate for themselves or learn from their mistakes
Taking over or overseeing every assignment and college application to ensure perfection
Preventing your teens from engaging in certain hobbies or activities that don’t seem “useful”
Dictating who they can and cannot be friends with or date
Controlling their diet and what they can or cannot eat
Tracking their location and looking through their personal belongings or devices without permission
Dictating how your teens should reply to messages and emails or what they should post on social media
Making career or college choices for your teens without considering their opinions or interests
Monitoring their study habits excessively and enforcing tight schedules without room for flexibility
Taking over responsibilities from your teens, such as tracking deadlines or appointments
Discouraging your teens from trying new activities or learning new skills for fear of them making mistakes

On the surface, these actions may seem like you’re setting your teens up for success by shielding them from failure, stress, or obstacles.

In the short term, your teens might even gain an advantage—such as better grades, fewer conflicts, or a smoother path forward.

However, in the long run, this level of control can hinder their growth and development. It will make it harder for them to solve problems, navigate challenges, and make wise decisions independently.

What causes helicopter parenting?

Understanding why you may be helicopter parenting is the first step toward change.

By identifying the root causes, you can work on targeted strategies to reduce over-involvement.

Here are some possible causes of helicopter parenting:

Concern and a sense of duty: You may be a helicopter parent because of a strong desire to protect and provide for your teenagers in every way possible.
Fear of the future: You are worried that a blunder or slip-up might have a lasting impact on your teenager’s future.
Social pressure: Seeing other parents micromanage their teens and compare grades makes you feel like you should do the same. This is to ensure your teenagers can keep up with their peers.
Personal insecurities: If you have failures or mistakes from the past that you haven’t let go of yet, you may project these fears onto your teens.
Desire for control: If you struggle to trust your teen’s judgment, you may take over the decision-making process. This is so you can ensure he or she makes the right choice.
Cultural expectations: Some cultures emphasize parental control in academics, career, and life choices. Parents are deemed to be responsible for their children’s success.

Letting go doesn’t mean caring less. It means equipping your teens to handle life’s challenges independently.

How to not be a helicopter parent

Shifting from the helicopter parenting style doesn’t mean that you should let your teens do whatever they want.

It comes down to knowing how to balance allowing them to be independent and providing structure and guidance when needed.

Here are some tips:

Encourage independence gradually

If you’ve been helicopter parenting for most of your teen’s life, it can be difficult for both parties to shift toward a more balanced approach.

Your teen might struggle with newfound freedom and make impulsive decisions, while you may find it hard to let go completely.

Instead, try gradually encouraging independence. Start with small steps, like allowing your teens to manage their own schedule or control how they spend their allowance.

As they build confidence, you can encourage them to make bigger decisions. These include managing their social activities, appointments, and who they date or spend time with.

Remind your teens that they will have the freedom to make certain decisions, but they can always turn to you for support or advice if they ever need it.

Of course, you can offer advice and guidance when they ask for it. But if the situation isn’t dangerous, let your teens decide for themselves.

This will help them understand choices and their consequences, allowing them to make better decisions in the future.

Foster resilience through failure

Mistakes are part and parcel of learning and growing as a person. Watching your teens experience failure, disappointment, or heartbreak is painful. But this can help them build resilience to handle the ups and downs of life.

Here’s how you and your teens can constructively handle setbacks:

Help your teens understand that everyone makes mistakes. Talk openly about your own failures and what you learned from them. Instead of criticizing, establish an open line of communication with your teens. Doing so will make them feel comfortable coming to you for support when things go wrong.
Encourage problem-solving. Instead of solving every issue or conflict for your teenagers, teach them how to brainstorm solutions. You can also show them how to weigh the pros and cons of each option. Then, allow them to proactively work toward resolving the problem.
Promote a growth mindset. Remind your teens that failure is a step toward growth, not something to avoid or fear. Let them know that their mistakes or failures will not define them as a person.
Celebrate effort, not just results. Compliment your teen’s hard work and determination, regardless of the outcomes.

Set healthy boundaries as a parent

Setting boundaries for yourself as a parent allows you to give your teens more space and independence.

Some ways you can draw healthy boundaries for yourself as a parent include the following:

Respect your teens’ privacy. Avoid going through their personal belongings or reading their messages without permission.
Avoid micromanaging. Set expectations for school and chores, but let your teenagers proactively figure out how to meet them.
Set communication expectations. Maybe you tend to ask for constant updates on your teens’ whereabouts. Instead of doing this, you can set a rule for your teens to send you a message when they arrive at their destination.
Let your teens handle their own conflicts. Avoid stepping in immediately. Encourage them to resolve disagreements with friends or teachers on their own.

Manage your own fears and anxiety

Helicopter parents act out of love, but their actions are also driven by their own fears and worries.

They may be stressed about many different aspects of their teens’ lives, such as their safety, success, future, or health.

Here are some ways you can start managing your fears and anxieties:

Identify what triggers make you anxious, for instance, reading the news or speaking with overly negative people.
Challenge your thinking and ask yourself if your concerns are realistic or if you’re catastrophizing.
Develop a growth mindset, which will help you see mistakes—both yours and your teen’s—as learning experiences.
Establish a stress management routine and find ways to prioritize your own well-being.
Seek support from a coach, therapist, or friends and family you trust, as they can help to offer perspective and reassurance.

It’s completely natural to have concerns about your teen’s future. But instead of projecting these fears onto your teens, you may need to shift your mindset to focus on what will help them grow.

Model confidence and trust

If your teens see that you’re always stressed, they may doubt their ability to overcome setbacks.

Instead of letting worry take over, focus on modeling confidence and trust. Here’s how you can do that:

When facing challenges, adopt a problem-solving mindset instead of panicking. This will teach your teens to handle problems with confidence and resilience.
Encourage self-reliance. When your teens ask for help with something they can figure out on their own, encourage them to try to handle the situation by themselves first. This helps them become more confident in their own decision-making skills.
Let your teenagers make decisions, and avoid stepping in at the first sign of trouble. Doing this shows your teens that you trust their ability to handle challenges and overcome obstacles.
Gradually show more trust in different ways. You can start by giving them personal responsibilities, like planning a family outing or handling their finances. Through these opportunities, teens learn to take ownership and be accountable for their choices.

Conclusion

We can always be there for our teens now. But we can’t do that for the rest of their lives.

This is why it’s so important to learn how to stop helicopter parenting.

While this can be a challenging process, it will help your teenagers develop the life skills they need to thrive long after they’ve left the nest.

If you’d like to get some help for your teenager, I highly recommend the one-on-one coaching program I offer for teens.

In this program, I’ll personally work with your teenager to enable him or her to become motivated, responsible, and resilient.

Get in touch today to find out more!

(If you haven’t already done so, download your free e-book below.)

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16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.

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Self-Esteem in Teens: A Guide to Feeling Confident and Valued

Updated on September 30, 2025 By Daniel Wong 7 Comments

Have you ever wished that you were more confident?

This isn’t uncommon because many teenagers struggle with self-esteem.

Self-esteem is how you see yourself and recognize your value and abilities. It shapes your decisions, interactions with others, and how you handle challenges.

Believing in yourself makes you more likely to make good decisions, overcome setbacks, and achieve your goals.

Of course, this confidence doesn’t always come naturally, but that’s okay. Even adults struggle with self-esteem at times.

There’s no shame in needing a little guidance to boost your confidence. In this article, I’ll share practical tips on self-esteem for teens to help you feel more confident in your own skin.

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Understanding self-esteem in teens

Self-esteem is how you see yourself, your worth, and your abilities. It can influence how you think and act in everyday life.

Different people have different levels of self-esteem. Some may have low self-esteem, while others may have high self-esteem.

When you have healthy self-esteem, you might find that you:

Set goals and take steps to achieve them
Communicate your thoughts, feelings, and needs with confidence
Feel comfortable being yourself without seeking approval from others
Maintain clear boundaries and refuse to compromise your principles or values
Have a growth mindset where you see mistakes as learning opportunities
Understand that your worth isn’t defined by success or failure
Bounce back from setbacks and keep trying instead of giving up

Healthy self-esteem is not about:

Being an extroverted or talkative person
Thinking you’re better than everyone else
Never feeling self-doubt or insecurity
Never feeling worried, anxious, afraid, or disappointed
Striving for perfection or never making a mistake
Ignoring feedback or refusing to improve
Always being happy and confident
Controlling or overpowering others to feel important
Avoiding challenges so you never fail

Self-esteem isn’t about who’s the best, bravest, or happiest.

It’s a personal journey that involves learning, growing, and being confident enough to pursue your goals.

Recognizing low self-esteem in teens

Low self-esteem can show up in different ways.

If you’re a teen with poor self-esteem, you might notice some of the following signs:

Frequently or always putting yourself down
Thinking you’re not good at anything
Being overly critical of yourself, especially when you make mistakes
Avoiding friends or withdrawing from social events
Feeling very awkward or uncomfortable in social situations
Comparing yourself to other people
Changing your appearance or behavior to fit in
Struggling to accept compliments and taking criticism very personally

Recognizing low self-esteem is the first step to developing a more positive self-image.

When you’re aware of it, you can begin taking steps to build your confidence.

How to build confidence and self-esteem in teenagers

Building self-esteem isn’t an overnight process. It will take time and conscious effort.

But there are many different strategies you can try to boost your self-confidence!

1. Set realistic goals

Having goals gives you direction, but it’s important to set achievable ones.

Instead of aiming for perfection or immediate success, focus on the small steps that lead to progress.

Each step you complete is a success worth celebrating, and recognizing this progress can help you build confidence in your abilities.

Here’s how you can start setting realistic goals:

Break down big goals and projects into smaller, more manageable tasks
Give yourself realistic and reasonable deadlines for each small step
Adjust your goals and deadlines as you move forward
Keep a journal or use digital apps to track your progress

Your goal doesn’t have to be about getting better grades—though that’s a good one to have!

You can also aim to improve your communication skills, learn a musical instrument, or get more involved in sports.

2. Practice positive self-talk

The way you speak to yourself can significantly affect your confidence and behavior.

If you often put yourself down, believing in yourself and your abilities will be harder.

Here are some ways you can change your self-talk to improve your confidence:

Create a list of affirmations that resonate with you. You can find inspiring affirmations online, in books, or even in your favorite movies. Write them down in a journal or a note-taking app. As a daily reminder, you can also place them somewhere visible, such as your mirror or wardrobe door.
Be mindful of how you talk to yourself. If you catch yourself thinking negatively, try to reframe the situation in a more constructive way. For example, if you don’t do well on a test, instead of saying, “I’m not smart enough,” remind yourself, “I can learn from this and do better next time.”
Speak to yourself the way you’d speak to a friend. You wouldn’t tear down a friend for making a mistake—you’d offer them kindness and encouragement. Try to treat yourself with that same level of care and understanding.

Changing your self-talk takes time and practice, but consistency is key here.

At first, it might feel awkward or weird. But the more you do it, the more naturally it will come to you.

3. Surround yourself with supportive people

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn

This quote helps us realize the importance of choosing our friends wisely.

The quality of your friendships can make a huge difference in how you see yourself. When surrounded by friends, mentors, and people who encourage and support you, you’re more likely to feel confident and proud of who you are.

The right company can also help you feel valued and appreciated rather than insecure.

The following are some traits you can look out for when choosing your friends:

Uplifting and supportive: They encourage and inspire you to pursue your goals.
Respectful of boundaries: They don’t do or say things that make you uncomfortable or insecure.
Honest and trustworthy: They offer genuine compliments and are willing to point out areas for growth.
Share similar values: You share core beliefs, mindsets, goals, or principles.
Celebrate with you: They aren’t jealous of your achievements, and you don’t feel like you’re constantly competing with or comparing yourself to them.
Accepting and authentic: They embrace you as you are and encourage you to grow into the best version of yourself.

Of course, no friend is perfect.

Everyone is on their own journey of growth and learning. That said, it’s still possible to have friends who genuinely care and who want the best for you.

To help you set realistic expectations, having good friends does not mean that you’ll:

Always agree on everything: Conflicts and disagreements happen. But good friends work through them with respect.
Spend time together 24/7: Everyone needs their own space and personal time.
Rely on them for your self-worth: While friends can support and inspire you, your main source of confidence should still come from within.

Remember, you should strive to be the kind of friend you’d like to have.

By treating others with love, respect, and kindness, you can create meaningful connections with those around you.

4. Embrace mistakes as learning opportunities

Embracing a growth mindset helps you understand that mistakes are learning opportunities.

Instead of seeing setbacks as failures, you can see them as a chance to learn, grow, and improve. After all, everyone makes mistakes.

When you understand that mistakes are part of life, you feel more confident about trying new things or stepping outside your comfort zone.

Whenever you’re disappointed, you can ask yourself questions to reflect on. Examples include, “What can I learn from this experience?” or “How can I improve moving forward?”

You can also think about people or mentors from whom you can seek advice and guidance.

5. Engage in activities you enjoy

Doing things you enjoy is a great way to boost your confidence.

When you spend time on activities you love, you’ll feel a sense of accomplishment. This naturally makes you more confident in your abilities.

If you haven’t found something you like, start by exploring different activities that seem exciting or fun.

These could be hobbies, sports, creative tasks, or social activities. Experiment with various options to figure out what you like most.

Once you’ve found something you love, make time for it regularly—whether it’s every day or a couple of times a week.

Doing things that bring you joy can relieve stress, prevent burnout, and help you feel good about yourself.

Activities to boost self-esteem in teens

The activities you engage in can play a significant role in building your self-esteem.

Let’s explore some practical ways to boost your confidence through the things you do:

1. Journaling

Journaling is a powerful tool for examining the ups and downs of everyday life.

It also helps you celebrate your strengths and achievements, process your feelings, and reflect on how you can improve.

If you’re not used to journaling, the following tips can help you get started:

Choose between a physical notebook or a digital app
Block out some time each day to journal
Start small by writing a few sentences each day
You can use online prompts to give you ideas on what to journal about
Don’t be afraid to be completely honest and transparent when you journal

2. Volunteer work

Volunteering is a meaningful way to give back to your community as you work on building your self-esteem.

Volunteering can provide a strong sense of purpose, accomplishment, and satisfaction.

There are several ways you can start getting involved in volunteer work, including:

Looking online for opportunities to volunteer at local organizations, schools, or community centers
Talking to your friends, family members, or teachers to seek recommendations and opportunities
Joining community service clubs at school that organize volunteer projects

Consider inviting a friend or family member to volunteer with you. Having someone by your side can make volunteer work more enjoyable and less daunting.

3. Physical activity

Physical exercise is an effective way to keep the mind and body healthy.

Research has also shown that it can improve self-awareness and self-esteem in younger people.

Staying active can improve your mood, increase your energy levels, help you sleep better, and promote a healthier body image.

It also puts you in a better position to be productive and achieve more throughout your day.

These effects can collectively lead to greater self-confidence.

4. Developing new skills

Expanding your skillset is a great way to boost self-esteem.

Here are some ways you might develop your skills:

Learning to play a new musical instrument
Picking up a new language
Practicing life skills like cooking or managing your finances
Mastering a sport you enjoy
Exploring creative hobbies, such as digital art or crocheting

By stepping out of your comfort zone and overcoming new challenges, you can build your confidence.

The role of social media and its impact on self-esteem in teens

Social media can impact your self-esteem, both positively and negatively.

A positive online environment lets teens connect with and seek support from peers with similar interests. It also allows teens to express themselves creatively, helping to build their identity and confidence.

Conversely, social media can lead to poorer self-esteem if not managed correctly. The following are some examples of how this can happen:

Seeing edited photos online might make you feel bad about your own appearance
Viewing other people’s “picture-perfect” posts may make you feel like you’re not good enough
Mean comments and harassment can hurt your confidence
Seeing others have fun without you might make you feel left out
Relying on likes and follows to feel good about yourself can be exhausting

To create a healthier relationship with social media, you can try these tips:

Follow inspiring accounts that promote self-confidence
Set a time limit to avoid excessive social media use
Engage with supportive and uplifting communities
Mute, unfollow, or block people who influence you negatively

If you feel insecure, anxious, or sad every time you use social media, consider taking a break from it.

A social media break can help you recenter your focus and appreciate your life without constant comparison.

Conclusion

The journey to building self-confidence doesn’t have to be lonely.

If you’re struggling with low self-esteem, asking for help is okay. You can talk to a trusted friend, family member, teacher, or counselor for support or guidance.

You can also seek guidance from a coach or mentor. Through my one-on-one coaching program, I’ve had the privilege of helping many teens boost their confidence, resilience, and motivation.

Building self-esteem takes time and patience, and I’d be happy to support you on that journey!

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Punishment vs. Consequence: Which One Should You Use for Your Teens?

Updated on September 5, 2025 By Daniel Wong 3 Comments

What’s the best way to discipline your teens?

And how can you get them to follow the rules and teach them good values at the same time?

These are a couple of common questions parents have when raising teenagers. After all, teens are at a stage where they’re testing boundaries, seeking independence, and figuring out how the world works.

Mistakes are bound to happen — it’s a natural part of growing up, even though they often leave parents frustrated or worried.

But when your teens do make a mistake, it’s easy to get emotional and turn to punishment to correct their behavior.

As parents, we react this way because we want the best for our teens. But even with the best intentions, punishment often fails to help teens understand why their actions were wrong or harmful.

Instead, focusing on consequences is typically a better way to help them learn and make wiser choices in the future.

In this article, I’ll explain the differences between punishment and consequences for teens and show you some punishment vs consequence examples. I’ll also share practical tips for disciplining and parenting teens.

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What’s the difference between a punishment and consequence?

Many people use the terms punishment and consequence interchangeably. But there are some significant differences between the two.

To better understand discipline strategies, let’s define punishment and consequence and examine how they differ.

Understanding these concepts is key to choosing the right approach for your teen.

Punishment

Punishments are used to cause pain, shame, or harm.

The main goal is to instill fear or embarrassment in teens so that they will learn their lesson and not repeat the mistake. By doing so, parents convey the message that they, as parents, are in control and have full authority over their teens’ behaviors and actions.

Here are some common characteristics of punishments:

There’s often no link between the punishment and the misbehavior or mistake. For instance, a parent may punish their teenagers for lying by grounding them for the weekend.
Sometimes, punishments can look like a withdrawal of love or respect. Some examples include name-calling, yelling, isolating, or giving the silent treatment. The idea is that by making the teenager feel bad or guilty for a mistake, he or she will think twice before repeating it.
Punishments are typically imposed when the parent is in an emotional state. The parent may be angry, hurt, fearful, or frustrated due to their teen’s mistake. As such, the parent may react without thinking too much and default to punishment to correct the bad behavior.

However, most forms of punishment don’t teach accountability or responsibility.

Your teens won’t understand why their actions were wrong or harmful. Instead, punishment often shifts their focus to their own negative feelings rather than understanding the harm caused by their actions.

As a result, punishment may lead to unintended consequences.

Teens might become reluctant to admit their mistakes and may even lie or cheat to avoid being punished. Harsh punishments can also cause resentment or anger, creating deeper rifts between you and your teens.

Research also suggests that harsh forms of punishment increase the risk of problematic behaviors. Additionally, it adds to a teen’s risk of experiencing depression and anxiety.

Consequence

Consequences are all about teaching teens to learn from their actions. This helps them understand how their behavior impacts them or other people.

There are two main types of consequences. They are:

Natural consequences: These happen naturally and without intervention from anyone. For example, your teens might fail a test they refused to study for. Or your teens will feel cold if they refuse to wear a jacket outside during winter.
Logical consequences: These are planned or carried out by parents. For example, teens who are often distracted by their phones may have their phones taken away while studying so they can stay focused.

Both natural and logical consequences play key roles in teaching teens how to make better choices in the future.

Ultimately, punishments force compliance through fear. They focus on making someone feel bad or guilty to deter them from repeating their actions.

In contrast, consequences help teenagers to understand the results of their choices.

Evaluating when to use a consequence vs. punishment

In almost all cases, consequences will likely be the better approach to disciplining your teen.

In the next couple of sections, we’ll explore specific scenarios to help you guide your teen toward making better decisions.

When to use consequences

Consequences can be used in most cases to correct bad behavior.

It’s tempting to want to protect your teens from any unwanted outcomes. However, as long as they’re not at risk of harm, you should allow them to experience natural consequences. Doing this will teach them valuable life lessons.

For example, imagine your teenage son procrastinating on a school project, and now he wants your help at the last minute.

Refusing to step in and fix the problem allows him to learn the natural consequence of getting a bad grade due to poor time management.

You can also use logical consequences to teach teens responsibility.

Before a conflict arises, sit down with your teens to establish house rules and agree on logical consequences for breaking them.

You can also tie these consequences to a task and timeline. For instance, if your teens miss their curfew, a logical consequence could be limiting their time out the following weekend.

They can also be allowed to make amends. If they stick to their curfew for a specific duration, they can earn back the privilege of staying out later in the future.

This approach teaches teenagers that privileges are earned through responsible behavior. They may lose them if they don’t follow the rules, but they can earn them back by showing positive change through their actions.

When punishment may be appropriate

In most cases, imposing punishments is not the best approach. Instead, natural and logical consequences provide a better way to help teens learn from their mistakes.

Natural consequences—where teens experience the direct results of their behavior—are typically the most effective. However, when natural consequences don’t apply, logical consequences can still help guide teens toward more responsible choices, particularly in serious situations that involve risky or harmful behaviors.

For example, if your teen is engaging in bullying at school, a logical consequence would be requiring them to take responsibility for their actions in a way that promotes understanding and accountability.

This might include writing an apology letter or participating in activities that promote empathy, such as volunteering for an anti-bullying campaign.

Unlike punishment, which may lead to resentment or fear, logical consequences help teens comprehend the impact of their actions and encourage personal growth.

Pairing logical consequences with open and honest conversations is key. Discussing why certain behaviors are harmful can help teens reflect on their choices.

For instance, if your teenage daughter admits to bullying a classmate due to peer pressure, the conversation can focus on finding healthier ways to build friendships and self-esteem. Encouraging your daughter to seek out supportive peer groups can be a proactive step toward preventing future harmful behavior.

The goal is not to make your teens feel bad. Instead, it’s to help them understand the effects of their actions and develop the skills needed to make better decisions down the road.

By using natural and logical consequences instead of punishment, you’ll guide your teenagers toward responsibility in a way that fosters growth, empathy, and accountability.

Practical tips for parents

Consequences for teens can only be effective when they’re carried out the right way.

Here are some tips for you to keep in mind when disciplining your teens.

Frame the conversation

When addressing misbehavior, it is important to have an honest conversation with your teen.

The purpose of this conversation isn’t to shame your teenager or make him or her feel guilty. Instead, you can discuss why certain decisions were made and why those choices were wrong or harmful.

Try to speak in a neutral, calm, and rational tone of voice.

Focus on the behavior rather than the person. For example, avoid saying, “You’re so lazy and irresponsible.” Instead, you can say, “When you don’t do your chores, it means that everyone else will have to take on your share of the work.”

When you focus on your teens’ behavior, they’ll be less likely to turn defensive.

During such interactions, it’s also best to give your teens a chance to explain their perspective and open up about their emotions.

Another tip when communicating with teens is to listen when they speak without interrupting them.

Be consistent

Consistency is key to ensuring the effectiveness of your consequences.

Your teenagers should understand that certain actions lead to specific consequences each time.

It’s a good idea to avoid bending the rules out of guilt or frustration, as this might send your teens mixed messages.

Teens may also try to bargain or talk their way out of consequences. Enforcing boundaries is even more important in these moments so your teens learn to take your expectations and rules seriously.

Some consequences may be inconvenient or difficult to implement. So give yourself time to think of consequences that make sense. You don’t want to have many consequences that are impractical or that add to your workload.

Avoid emotional reactions

When your teen makes a mistake, it can be challenging to ensure that your emotions don’t influence your actions.

It feels natural to act based on anger or frustration. But doing so will cause the situation to escalate. As a result, it will be harder for your teens to learn from their mistakes and might even cause your relationship with them to sour.

If you realize that you’re becoming angry, give yourself and your teen some space and time to cool off before coming together to talk again.

Encourage your teen to reflect

Each mistake your teenagers make is an opportunity to build self-awareness. It’s also a chance for them to develop their problem-solving and decision-making skills.

Encourage your teens to reflect on how their actions have affected themselves or those around them.

For example, if your teenage son doesn’t study and fails an important test, ask him reflective questions like, “How do you feel about the result?” or “What do you think led to it?” or “What can you do differently next time?”

Conclusion

No teen or parent is perfect, and mistakes are a part of life.

When your teens mess up, set clear and firm consequences while encouraging them to reflect on their actions. Be empathetic so they know they can always come to you when they feel confused or when they’ve made a bad decision.

Finally, remember that, as a parent, you set the tone for accountability.

When you make a mistake, take full responsibility and apologize. Modeling humility teaches your teens that everyone messes up sometimes—but it’s what we do to make amends that matters most.

Through my coaching program, I’ve helped countless teens learn to make good decisions and become motivated and responsible. I would love to help your teen!

(Don’t forget to download your free e-book below.)

FREE E-BOOK:

Get your FREE copy of

16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.

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