40 Motivational Quotes for Students: Get Inspired to Study Hard

Updated on February 12, 2025 By Daniel Wong 161 Comments

Reading motivational quotes for students can give you a quick boost of inspiration to study.

Let me ask you a question…

Do you ever struggle with a lack of motivation?

You’re supposed to be studying for next week’s test. But instead you end up texting your friends, watching videos, or playing games.

After procrastinating for an hour, you finally get down to work.

But you just don’t feel that motivated.

Sound familiar?

Developing long-term motivation is a complicated issue.

But you can become more motivated to study in the short term by reading inspirational and encouraging quotes.

So I’ve compiled this list of 40 motivational quotes for students to help you study hard.

The quotes are listed below according to the following categories:

Believing in yourself
Cultivating a success mindset
Overcoming procrastination
Hard work
Not making excuses
Perseverance

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Quotes about believing in yourself

1. Believe you can and you’re halfway there.

2. You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them.

3. It always seems impossible until it’s done.

4. Don’t let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do. – John Wooden

Quotes about cultivating a success mindset

5. Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can. – Arthur Ashe

6. Successful and unsuccessful people do not vary greatly in their abilities. They vary in their desires to reach their potential. – John Maxwell

7. The secret of success is to do the common things uncommonly well. – John D. Rockefeller

8. Good things come to people who wait, but better things come to those who go out and get them.

9. Strive for progress, not perfection.

10. I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have. – Thomas Jefferson

11. Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out. – Robert Collier

12. Don’t wish it were easier; wish you were better. – Jim Rohn

13. I don’t regret the things I’ve done. I regret the things I didn’t do when I had the chance.

14. There are two kinds of people in this world: those who want to get things done and those who don’t want to make mistakes. – John Maxwell

Quotes about overcoming procrastination when it comes to studying

15. The secret to getting ahead is getting started.

16. You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.

17. The expert in everything was once a beginner.

Quotes about hard work

18. There are no shortcuts to any place worth going. – Beverly Sills

19. Push yourself, because no one else is going to do it for you.

20. Some people dream of accomplishing great things. Others stay awake and make it happen.

21. There is no substitute for hard work. – Thomas Edison

22. The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little “extra.”

23. You don’t always get what you wish for; you get what you work for.

24. It’s not about how bad you want it. It’s about how hard you’re willing to work for it.

25. The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary. – Vidal Sassoon

26. There are no traffic jams on the extra mile. – Zig Ziglar

27. If people only knew how hard I’ve worked to gain my mastery, it wouldn’t seem so wonderful at all. – Michelangelo

Quotes about not making excuses

28. If it’s important to you, you’ll find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse. – Ryan Blair

29. Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother Teresea, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein. – H. Jackson Brown Jr.

Quotes about developing perseverance as a student

30. Challenges are what make life interesting. Overcoming them is what makes life meaningful. – Joshua J. Marine

31. Life has two rules: 1) Never quit. 2) Always remember Rule #1.

32. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. – Michael Jordan

33. I don’t measure a man’s success by how high he climbs, but how high he bounces when he hits the bottom. – George S. Patton

34. If you’re going through hell, keep going. – Winston Churchill

35. Don’t let your victories go to your head, or your failures go to your heart.

36. Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently. – Henry Ford

37. You don’t drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there. – Ed Cole

38. The difference between a stumbling block and a stepping-stone is how high you raise your foot.

39. The pain you feel today is the strength you will feel tomorrow. For every challenge encountered there is opportunity for growth.

40. It’s not going to be easy, but it’s going to be worth it.

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15 Things Parents Should Stop Saying to Their Children

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 4 Comments

Do you wish you had a better relationship with your children?

Maybe your children don’t communicate much with you. They spend most of their time in their room, glued to their smartphone or computer.

Maybe they also lack motivation – except when it comes to social media and gaming.

If this describes your children, don’t despair. In this article, I’ll share with you specific ways to improve the situation.

I’ve spoken to and worked with 20,000 pre-teens and teens, and they’ve confessed to me why they behave this way.

Want to know the reason?

It’s because of the way their parents talk to them.

Of course, the parent-child relationship is a two-way street. But if parents stopped saying certain things, children would become more communicative, respectful, and responsible.

So here’s a list of 15 things that parents should stop saying to their children…

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1. “You always …” or “You never …”

Have you ever said any of the following to your children?

“You always wake up late.”
“You always take the easy way out.”
“You always get in trouble at school.”
“You never submit your homework on time.”
“You never do your chores.”
“You never put your clothes in the laundry basket.”

When you use the phrase “You always …” or “You never …” your children will become defensive. The conversation may then turn into an argument.

After all, there probably have been times when your children did wake up on time, submit their homework before the deadline, or put their clothes in the laundry basket.

So try this approach instead.

State objective facts that your children can’t refute. For instance, you could say to your child: “Over the past week, you’ve woken up late three times, by more than 20 minutes each time. This is an issue we need to resolve.”

By citing specific examples, you and your children will have a more fruitful discussion.

2. “You should be ashamed of yourself.”

The aim isn’t to guilt your children into changing their behavior. Rather, the aim is to coach them to make decisions based on the right values and principles.

Instead of saying “You should be ashamed of yourself,” process the situation with your children.

Help them to see what alternatives they could have considered, so that they’ll make the right choice in the future.

3. “Good job!”

Studies indicate that, in healthy relationships, the ratio of positive comments to negative comments is roughly 6:1.

Unfortunately, I’ve observed that in many families this ratio is reversed. In these families, the negative comments far outnumber the positive ones.

As such, the home environment is tense, and sometimes hostile.

So it’s better to praise your children once in a while than not at all. But the kind of praise matters too.

Telling your children “Good job!” is too general. What exactly did they do that was commendable?

For praise to be meaningful, it must be specific.

Here are some examples of specific praise you could give your children:

“That’s disciplined of you to have worked on your assignment for one hour straight.”
“I appreciate that you’ve done all your household chores over the past two days.”
“That’s thoughtful of you to set the table without anyone asking you to.”
“I appreciate that you woke up on time for school today.”

The more you acknowledge your children’s good behavior, the more they’ll display that behavior.

4. “Why did you …”

You might complete this sentence by saying:

“… hit your brother/sister?”
“… drop the glass cup?”
“… forget to bring your textbook to school?”
“… skip school?”

It’s hard for your children to answer these questions in the heat of the moment. What’s more, your children will feel accused or threatened, so they’ll be more likely to lie.

Try asking “What happened?” instead.

For example, you might say: “Your teacher called to say that you skipped school yesterday. What happened?” There might be a legitimate reason, so don’t jump to conclusions.

5. “What’s wrong with you?”

This one is similar to Phrase #4.

Asking “What’s wrong with you?” will cause your children to become bitter and withdrawn. Besides, it isn’t a question that will help your children to reflect on their bad behavior.

To understand your children’s perspective, say this instead: “What was going through your mind when you did that?”

If you say this calmly, you’ll have a better chance of getting to the root of the problem.

6. “Don’t argue with me.”

You might say this out of exasperation, especially when you feel disrespected.

But from your children’s point of view, they may not think they’re being disrespectful at all. As children explain their opinion, they sometimes don’t realise that they’re being rude.

As such, telling them not to argue with you seems unreasonable.

I’m not saying you should tolerate all rude behavior, but I am saying that children need to know that their opinions count.

So refrain from saying “Don’t argue with me.” Rather, maintain your composure and ask gentle questions to get to the heart of how your children feel.

7. “Because I said so.”

This phrase is the cousin of Phrase #6, and it’s just as ineffective.

Children want to understand the rationale behind family policies. If they don’t, they won’t follow those policies – at least, not willingly.

So take the time to explain the logic to your children. I recommend that you get into problem-solving mode with your children. Brainstorm other possible solutions, and write them down as you go along.

Your children might just come up with ingenious ideas you hadn’t even thought of!

8. “I told you so.”

It’s tempting to say this when your children make a mistake that you’d already warned them about.

But resist this temptation. Your children know they’ve messed up, so don’t rub it in.

Discipline your children if necessary. But before you do that, process the situation with them. Remind them that you’re there for them, and that you love them.

After all, it’s when your children have made a mistake that they need your reassurance and support the most. They don’t need you to tell them “I told you so.”

9. “If I were you …”

Well-meaning parents say this to encourage their children to make a certain decision.

But when children hear this phrase, they immediately think to themselves: “Well, you’re NOT me!” They proceed to tune out the rest of the advice their parents provide.

What’s the better way of getting through to your children?

Share your feelings. Talk about where you stand on the matter. And make it clear that you want to hear your children’s perspective too. Ask them thoughtful questions, and really listen to their responses.

This is the only way to reach an agreement that both you and your children will find reasonable.

10. “Why can’t you be more like your brother/sister/cousin/friend?”

What’s the most common piece of parenting advice you’ve heard?

In all likelihood, it’s “Don’t compare.”

But as a parent, it’s so hard not to compare.

Parents use their children as benchmarks to assess their own ability as parents. This is one big reason why parents compare their children with others.

When you compare, however, your children feel as if your love for them is based on their behavior or performance. They feel as if you would approve of them more, if only they were more like their brother/sister/cousin/friend.

So remind your children that you love them exactly the same, no matter what they do. But at the same time, encourage them to pursue excellence.

Explain to them that we all have responsibilities, and that it’s important to do our best to fulfill those responsibilities.

11. “I know how you feel.”

As a parent, you’ve gone through childhood and adolescence. Which means you’ve experienced betrayal, rejection, and disappointment.

But just because you’ve gone through a similar experience to your children doesn’t mean you know how they feel.

Tweens and teens say to me, “Times have changed. My parents don’t understand how different things are today compared to when they were growing up.”

Do your best to see things from your children’s point of view. Step into their shoes. Try out their games and hobbies. Listen to their favorite music. Get to know their friends. And listen respectfully when they share their thoughts and feelings.

12. “When I was your age …”

You might finish this sentence by saying:

“… I helped out so much more around the house.”
“… I had so many more responsibilities than you.”
“… I studied for eight hours a day.”
“… I had to work for everything I wanted.”
“… I didn’t have all the luxuries that you enjoy today.”

The indirect aim of saying this is to spur your child to become more grateful, hardworking, or disciplined.

But this approach doesn’t work.

Children are all too aware that things today are far different from 30 years ago, so they can’t relate to your experiences.

When you share your experiences, do it such that they understand you better – not as an attempt to coerce them into better behavior.

13. “I know what’s best for you.”

I like this insightful saying by Ann Landers: “It’s not what you do for your children that matters most. It’s what you teach them to do for themselves.”

In other words, parenthood is about helping your children to take full responsibility for their lives.

When you say “I know what’s best for you,” you’re exerting your parental authority. But you’re also missing out on an opportunity to let your children take ownership of the situation.

As long as your children aren’t in physical danger, I encourage you to let them make mistakes. That’s the only way they’ll acquire real-world knowledge and wisdom.

14. “There’s no reason to be scared.”

By saying this, you’re invalidating your children’s feelings. Over time, your children may start to suppress their feelings. They may even have trouble expressing their emotions.

I’ve seen this happen for many of my clients.

Instead of telling your children that they shouldn’t feel a certain way, empathize with them. Teach them to label their feelings and acknowledge them.

This way, your children will learn to manage their emotions, rather than ignore them.

15. “You’re not living up to your potential.”

Parents say this in the hope of inspiring their children to work harder. But this approach isn’t effective.

Why?

Because children will internalize the fact that they’re the type who doesn’t “live up to their potential.” They may begin to see this as a permanent trait.

Some of my clients share with me that they don’t see a reason to change their attitude, since they’ve already been labelled “lazy” or “unmotivated.”

A lack of motivation usually stems from unmet emotional needs. So offer your children help and support – not harsh criticism. And if you’re unable to get to the root of the issue, don’t be afraid to seek professional help.

The bottom line

If you feel like you’re having trouble communicating with your children, you’re not alone.

But rest assured that improving your parent-child relationship isn’t complicated.

All you have to do is stop saying the 15 things mentioned in this article, and you’ll see changes in the relationship. Little by little, your children will become happier, more motivated, and more responsible.

It’ll take time and effort, but it’ll be worth it.

Today’s the day to get started.

An earlier version of this article first appeared on Yahoo!.

(If you haven’t already done so, make sure to download your free e-book below.)

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Images: Parent and child, Why, Compare, Scared

7 Ways to Get Your Children to Do Their Homework (No Nagging Required!)

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 24 Comments

Getting your children to do their homework is a struggle, isn’t it?

It seems like everything is more important to them than homework.

Online gaming, social media, watching videos, playing sports… the list goes on.

But it doesn’t have to be a struggle.

In this article, I’ll explain 7 powerful ways to get your children to do their homework – no complaining from them and no nagging from you.

(Don’t forget to download your free e-book below.)

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1. Make it clear that it’s their homework, not yours.

Many parents seem to care more about their children’s homework than their children do. As such, the responsibility shifts from the children to the parents.

But this should not be the case.

After all, it’s your children’s homework, not yours.

Help them to understand that their homework is their responsibility. Feel free to provide help or guidance, but you should never do the work for them.

2. Don’t force them to do their homework.

I can almost hear you saying, “But Daniel, if I don’t force my children to do their homework, they won’t do it at all!”

I know where you’re coming from. But if you implement all the tips in this article, I can close to guarantee that your children will do their homework without coercion.

If you threaten or intimidate them, your parent-child relationship will suffer.

And as the saying goes, “Rules without relationship breeds rebellion.”

I’ve worked with more than 15,000 students so far, and I wholeheartedly agree with that saying.

If you impose rules without nurturing the relationship, sooner or later your children will defy you. Power struggles are unhealthy, whether they’re over food, going to school, or homework.

3. Discuss expectations and consequences with them.

Do this at the start of every term or semester. Don’t just impose your own expectations. Instead, have a calm discussion with your children. This will give them a sense of ownership over their homework, and their education.

These are the key things to talk about:

When they’ll do their homework, e.g. the first two hours after they get home from school, after they’ve had 30 minutes to relax
Which privileges will be off-limits until they finish their homework
The consequences if they violate the agreement
“No homework” times, e.g. Friday nights, Sunday morning

During the discussion, be patient and composed. (Easier said than done, I know!)

Remind your children that you’re on the same team as them. You aren’t out to do battle with them.

By adopting this approach, your children will behave more maturely than you expect.

After you’ve all reached an agreement, put everything down in writing. Place the “contract” on the fridge door or some other prominent location in your home, so everyone can refer to it.

4. Don’t micromanage them.

You might be tempted to think that your children will only complete their homework under your supervision.

But it’s possible for them to take full ownership of their homework, such that you don’t need to supervise them at all.

When I was growing up, I don’t recall my parents ever monitoring me or my two siblings as we did our homework.

But we still finished our work and performed well in school.

In addition to Point #3, I’ve found this to be a helpful approach:

Ask your children’s teachers if you can give them a 5-minute phone call once every two months to check on your children’s progress. If the teachers agree to this, inform your children about the arrangement.

Discuss with your children what feedback from the teachers would warrant what kind of consequences.

For example, you might agree that if two or more teachers remark that your children haven’t been submitting their homework on time, then they’ll lose certain privileges. These privileges will only be restored when the feedback improves.

This way, you won’t need to micromanage your children. The pre-agreed consequences will encourage your children to be more responsible. And you won’t have to endure daily homework battles anymore!

5. Create a distraction-free area for homework and studying.

Place this area away from the TV and other distractions. Some families even choose a separate area for everyone to put their phones before bedtime and during homework time. This will prevent your children from being distracted by their phone.

It’s also helpful to establish boundaries, so that your children won’t disturb each other during homework time.

Provide your children with the equipment and materials they need, e.g. table lamp, stationery, desk and chair that are of a suitable size. These will enable your children to concentrate better.

6. Acknowledge their good behavior.

Here’s a rule that applies to all children:

The behavior that you (as a parent) focus on will increase in frequency.

This means that if you acknowledge your children’s good behavior, they’ll display that good behavior more often. But if you nag them about their bad behavior, they’ll display more of that bad behavior in the future.

After all, have you ever successfully nagged your children into changing their bad habits?

Probably not.

So be observant and find opportunities to recognize your children’s good behavior. For example, if you notice that your children did their homework for 30 minutes straight, you could say, “That’s good that you focused on your work for 30 minutes.”

I’m not asking you to shower your children with over-the-top praise. Just acknowledge their good behavior whenever you observe it.

This might seem like an insignificant gesture to you, but it isn’t to them.

7. Do your “homework” at the same time as them.

Show your children that you’re diligent about doing your “homework” too.

When they’re doing their work, you could sort out the family finances or pay the bills. Alternatively, you could read a book, take an online course, or learn a new skill.

Using this strategy, your children will see that homework is important, even as an adult. And you’ll all have more fun when the whole family does their homework together!

The bottom line

Homework is important.

But there are other things that are even more important: Responsibility, persistence, commitment, curiosity, and a love for learning.

Homework is just a tool to reach these larger goals. Keep this in mind the next time you’re on the brink of losing your cool over homework.

As you put the 7 tips into practice, homework time will become more pleasant for both you and your children. Your parent-child relationship will improve, too.

So try out the tips today. What’s there to lose?

An earlier version of this article first appeared on Yahoo!.

(If you haven’t already done so, make sure to download your free e-book below.)

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Raising Resilient Children: A Simple Tip That Works Wonders

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 4 Comments

resilient children

Every parent has been there before.

You worry that your children won’t be resilient enough to survive in the “real world” when they grow up.

Will they be able to handle disappointments? Will they develop a can-do attitude? Will they overcome their fears?

To prepare your children for the future, you encourage them to work hard. You try to teach them valuable life skills.

But when they meet setbacks, they sometimes falter. Maybe it’s a math test they didn’t do well on. Or a friendship that fell apart. Or a teacher who said something harsh.

They didn’t take it well. They might even have become withdrawn and unmotivated.

So you ask yourself…

How can I help my children to become more resilient?

A simple, effective tip for bringing up resilient children

And the tip is:

Share your challenges and struggles with your children, and explain to them what you’re doing to resolve the situation.

This might sound like a strange approach, but it’s effective.

Here’s why.

I’ve worked with 15,000 students so far. 95% of students tell me that their parents rarely talk about the challenges they face or the mistakes they’ve made. When their parents do talk about their challenges, it’s usually just to complain or to vent their frustrations.

As such, these children don’t understand what it means to tackle challenges head-on, or to iron out unpleasant situations in a mature, responsible way.

Children need to see real-life examples of this.

Who better to lead the way than you?

The key mindset that leads to success

So talk to your children about your challenges. These include complications at work, interpersonal conflicts, and any important decisions you’re about to make.

(Of course, if it’s an exceptionally serious issue that your children would be better off not knowing about, then please use your discretion.)

Outline the choices you’re confronted with. Tell your children how you feel: frustrated, confused, annoyed, hopeful.

Explain why you’ve decided to adopt a positive attitude, and describe how you’re proactively resolving the issue. This way, your children will understand that there’s always something you can do, no matter how futile the situation might seem.

Your children will cultivate a mindset of “Challenges are to be embraced,” rather than “Challenges are to be avoided.” They’ll take on more challenges, instead of shying away from them.

I’m sure you want your children to be successful. And if there’s one thing successful people love, it’s challenges!

3 reasons why you might ignore my advice (but why those reasons aren’t valid)

Right now, you’re probably thinking, “Daniel, this sounds good in theory. But I can’t bring myself to do it…”

Stop right there.

There are three main reasons why parents feel this way. I’ll list the reasons one at a time, and explain why they aren’t valid.

Reason #1: You’re afraid to show your children that you’re not perfect

I have bad news for you. Your children already know you’re not perfect.

Up until the age of five or six, your children looked up to you as Supermom or Superdad. But that all changed when they saw you tell a lie, use a curse word, or lose your temper.

As your children get older, you’ll gain their respect by being humble, not by trying to appear “perfect.”

When I was 13, my parents said something to me in anger, which they shouldn’t have. I felt hurt and troubled. But 30 minutes later, they apologized to me and asked for my forgiveness.

This incident happened years ago, but it still stands out to me as an example of how wonderful my parents are. Their humility made me respect them more, and taught me to take responsibility for my words and actions.

Similarly, when you share your challenges with your children, they’ll admire you for your openness and courage.

Reason #2: You’re afraid that if you talk about your mistakes, it will give your children the right to make mistakes

I’ve got more bad news for you. Your children are going to make mistakes, whether or not you tell them about your mistakes.

But you already knew that.

If you share what you’ve learned from your mistakes, however, your children will become wiser. As they watch you recover from mistakes and setbacks, they’ll begin to grasp this truth:

It’s impossible to be perfect, but it is possible to pursue excellence. The key to success is to focus on developing and improving, not just on achieving the ideal outcome.

When your children understand this, they’ll become more resilient.

Reason #3: It isn’t part of your family culture to be vulnerable

In other words, you’d feel awkward about being so open with your children.

But strong relationships are built on trust. And you can’t build trust without openness and honesty.

No matter what your family culture is like today, there’s always room to grow.

I’m not asking you to start by confessing to a catastrophic mistake you made that cost your company $10 million. Instead, you could share about something insensitive you said to a friend, but how you made amends. Or about your colleagues who spread untrue rumors about you, but how you kept your cool.

As the saying goes, “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” So start small, and take it from there — one day at a time, one conversation at a time.

The bottom line

Raising resilient children is a complex topic, but this article outlines a practical tip you can use right away.

I encourage you to talk to your children about the challenges and problems you’re dealing with, and what you’re doing to overcome them.

Not only will this enable your children to become more resilient, it will also help you to build a stronger relationship with them. It will open up the lines of communication, and set the foundation of a happy, healthy family.

So think about one tiny incident you can share with your children. Decide when and where you’ll bring up the topic. Start by doing this once a month, then once every two weeks, then once a week.

Soon enough, it’ll become a habit.

Don’t be surprised when your children start telling you about how they’re confidently working through their own challenges!

When the day comes that your children are independent, mature and resilient, you’ll beam with pride.

But remember, it all begins with being open about your own struggles.

(If you haven’t already done so, make sure to download your free e-book below.)

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8 Truths That Successful Students Understand

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 15 Comments

Students

Through my work with more than 20,000 students so far, I’ve begun to see what separates successful students from not-so-successful ones.

And I’m not just talking about academic performance. I’m talking about their overall development, and their willingness to learn and grow, even through disappointments.

The key doesn’t lie in successful students’ innate intelligence or how many study tips they know.

Instead, the foundation of their success lies in their beliefs — the truths they take to heart.

These are the eight most important truths that successful students both understand and embrace:

1. Life is challenging

Many students expect life to be relatively easy. They know that hard work is important, but they don’t believe they’ll need to work that hard to get what they want.

For example, I once gave a talk to an auditorium filled with 18-year-old students. At the end of the talk, a student came up to me and said, “Thank you for the talk, Daniel! I’m feeling inspired. I’d like to ask you: What can I do to ensure that I find a fulfilling career in the future?”

After telling him that I appreciated his enthusiasm, I recommended that he start by reading two books, Do What You Are and What Color is Your Parachute?.

In an instant, a puzzled look washed over his face. He said dejectedly, “Oh, but I don’t like reading. I won’t be able to make it through two books…”

This student wanted to find a fulfilling career that would last him a few decades, but he wasn’t willing to read two books. Somehow, he believed that building a rewarding career shouldn’t take too much effort.

Unfortunately, this mindset is prevalent among students.

Successful students, on the other hand, understand that life is tough, but that overcoming challenges makes life more meaningful.

2. You can’t always choose your circumstances, but you can always choose your attitude

We all like to think that we’re in control of our lives. But there are so many aspects of our lives that are beyond our control. Of course, this doesn’t mean we shouldn’t plan ahead and make wise decisions.

Successful students realize that they can’t control what mood their teacher is in, or what the weather will be like, or how hard next week’s math test will be.

But they recognize that they can always choose their attitude, and how they respond to the circumstances they’re confronted with.

3. Your education is your responsibility, not your parents’

It seems like many parents today take more of an interest in their children’s academics than their children do.

I’ve met parents who sit right next to their children to ensure that their children complete their homework. These same parents develop a complete studying schedule for their children to follow, because their children have become over-reliant on them.

Just last week, I got to know a family where the father is planning to quit his job so he can monitor his 15-year-old son’s schoolwork more closely.

I don’t doubt that these parents have good intentions. But whose education is it? Is it the parents’ or the children’s?

Successful students understand that their education is their responsibility.

Parents can help by not micromanaging their children. Instead, parents can set medium-term goals together with their children. Every two months or so, parents can give the school teacher a brief call to see how their children are progressing. If the children aren’t living up to their end of the bargain, then the parents can mete out appropriate consequences.

4. Life doesn’t revolve around you

Many students ask themselves, “What can my parents/family do for me?” instead of asking, “What can I do for my parents/family?”

In order for students to find long-term success, they must realize that they’re not the center of the universe.

It’s their social responsibility to show consideration for other people’s feelings and needs, especially those of their family members.

Only then can students begin to cultivate an attitude of service, where they focus on adding value to other people, instead of obsessing over their own desires.

5. Blaming others gets you nowhere

It’s easy for students (and adults too) to blame others. Do any of the following sound familiar?

“The teacher is too boring. That’s why I didn’t do well on the test.”
“My parents are too naggy. That’s why I’m always moody.”
“The lesson wasn’t engaging. That’s why I couldn’t pay attention.”

These complaints may be valid. But taking full responsibility for your education and your life means that you don’t blame other people for how you’ve been feeling, or the disappointments you’ve been experiencing.

Instead, successful students continually ask themselves this vital question: “What is one thing I can do right now to make the situation better?”

This enables them to focus on what they can control, instead of what they can’t.

6. Managing yourself is more important than managing your time

Students today face more distractions than ever before.

Texting. YouTube. Facebook. Twitter. Instagram. Blogs. Online games. And the rest of the Internet.

Students must learn to manage their time and their priorities, but they must first learn to manage themselves.

They must acquire the skills of eliminating distractions, fighting off temptations, and finding intrinsic motivation.

If they don’t, they won’t feel motivated to study, and they’ll succumb to the onslaught of entertainment options available to them 24/7.

7. You’re entitled to few things in life, if at all

80% of the students I work with have a strong sense of entitlement. They feel entitled to:

Use their home computer any time they wish
Own a smartphone
Have a messy room, if they so choose
Lead a comfortable life

They don’t grasp the fact that these aren’t entitlements; they’re privileges. And privileges aren’t given. They’re earned.

Successful students work hard to earn these privileges, knowing that they could lose these privileges if they’re not careful.

8. No one’s perfect, but there’s always room to improve

I’ve worked with a number of students who have unrealistic expectations of themselves, and who place an overwhelming pressure on themselves to perform.

These perfectionist tendencies (most common among those who are the first-born or who are an only child) can lead to serious psychological issues down the road, such as depression and suicidal thoughts.

So if you’re a parent reading this, don’t take it lightly if your child is a perfectionist.

But successful students realize that there’s no such thing as perfection.

They turn their attention away from achievements and the end result. Instead, they focus on improving and developing. They concentrate on the factors that are within their control: their effort and attitude.

Ironically, these students perform better by choosing not to focus on their performance.

The bottom line

If you want your children to become happy and successful, they must accept these eight truths. As parents, our role is to influence and inspire our children to understand these truths, and then live them out.

Is it an easy task? Definitely not.

But I’m convinced that it’s worth the effort. 🙂

7 Phrases That Children Need To Hear From Their Parents

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 32 Comments

Listening

Are you worried that your children aren’t as motivated and hardworking as they should be?

It’s natural that parents want their children to succeed.

Through my work with students, I’ve realized just how much the parent-child relationship affects the child’s development, both emotionally and mentally.

No surprises there.

The stronger the relationship, the better the chances of the child becoming a well-adjusted, successful adult.

This article lists seven simple phrases that will help you to build that relationship.

The more often you use the phrases – I’m not asking you to repeat them every moment of every day, though! – the more likely it is that your child will grow up feeling safe, secure and self-confident. That’s the foundation of long-term success and happiness.

Here are the seven phrases:

1. “I love you”

This is an obvious but vital one.

Children need to know that you love and accept them unconditionally. You might feel awkward about saying “I love you” to your children, especially if it isn’t part of your family culture. But I encourage you to say it at least once a month. If you say it once a week or once a day, even better.

95% of the teenagers I work with confess to me that they feel as though their parents love them more when they perform well in school or in their other activities.

In extreme cases, these children grow up believing that they’ll never be good enough. This can cause them to be unmotivated, or to exhibit other behavioral problems.

The simple solution?

Say “I love you” to your children. Often.

2. “Go for it!”

Of course, if your children are about to do something dangerous or unethical, you shouldn’t tell them to “go for it.” You should step in.

But when they’re faced with a challenge that they’ll benefit from taking on, they need your encouragement to bolster their confidence.

Parents tend to be too cautious, because they take a short-term view of parenting. I’m a parent myself, so I know how tempting this can be.

I believe that the goal of parenting isn’t to shelter our children or to provide them with a comfortable life. It’s to prepare them for adulthood, where they won’t just survive – they’ll thrive.

Adulthood is full of challenges, so in childhood and adolescence your kids need all the practice they can get in overcoming them.

To do that, they’ll need your support, and for you to tell them, “Go for it!”

3. “I’m proud of you”

I recommend that you say this to your children frequently, and not just when they’ve accomplished something remarkable.

Being proud of your children for what they’ve done is different from being proud of them for who they are.

There’s nothing wrong with being proud of your children for what they’ve achieved. But they need to know that you’ll still be proud of them, even if they don’t achieve anything impressive.

Whenever you observe your children displaying kindness, generosity, humility, courage, or any other positive behavior, take the opportunity to say, “I’m proud of you.”

Don’t underestimate the tremendous power of this simple phrase.

4. “I believe in you”

For many people, childhood and adolescence are times of self-doubt.

Am I capable enough?

What will people think of me if I fail?

Do I have what it takes?

Why can’t I be as smart as Tim, or as popular as Jaime?

These are the kinds of questions that children ask themselves.

In the midst of their doubt, they need you to be their loyal advocate, their ardent fan.

It breaks my heart when teenagers tell me that their parents are their biggest critic, not their biggest fan. Their parents belittle them and put them down. On occasion, their parents even call them “useless” or “stupid.”

I’m blessed that, throughout my own life, my parents have told me that they believe in me – especially when I didn’t believe in myself. This gave me the confidence to dream big and dare to fail.

This is a gift that you can share with your children too, as you say to them, “I believe in you.”

5. “Will you forgive me?”

As a parent, you’re an authority figure in your home. Apologizing to your children is hard, because your pride is at stake.

But leaders go first. As a leader in your home, you must take the first step.

For example, if you’ve said something unkind during an argument with your child, be the first one to say, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. Will you forgive me?”

As you model this kind of humility, your children will develop new respect for you. This is also an excellent opportunity to show your children that we all make mistakes, but that it’s crucial to take responsibility for them.

6. “Will you show me how you did that?”

At some point, your children will know more about certain things than you. Maybe they already know more about social media or music or Internet marketing than you.

I know many parents who act as if they know more than their children in every area. When their children bring up almost any topic, these parents cut them off, jump to conclusions, or cast judgment.

Soon enough, these children stop communicating openly with their parents. “Why should I talk to my parents, when they don’t actually listen to what I have to say?” these children think.

So if your children know more about something than you, I encourage you to say, “That’s interesting. Tell me more.”

And if you see your children doing something you’re not able to, why not ask them, “Will you show me how you did that?”

A few days ago, I was waiting to get a haircut when I saw a 14-year-old boy playing with a Rubik’s cube. He solved the Rubik’s cube in less than 15 seconds. I was impressed!

The boy’s mother was sitting next to him. She remarked, “Wow! Will you show me how you did that?” Grinning with pride, the boy explained step-by-step how to solve a Rubik’s cube.

When you take a genuine interest in your children’s hobbies, they feel valued and respected. This is vital for a healthy parent-child relationship.

7. “I’m here for you”

As children get older, they want more independence. They want the freedom to make choices, and to chart their own course.

Parents may start to feel as if their children don’t want to have anything to do with them. But this isn’t the case.

Even the most rebellious teenagers I’ve worked with care about what their parents think, at some level.

If your children are in their teens, allow them to make as many of their own choices as possible. After all, they’re going to be adults in a few short years. They’ll appreciate your advice and counsel, as long as you make it clear that the final decision is theirs. Naturally, they must deal with the consequences of their choices too.

By saying “I’m here for you,” your children will know that you’re there to help if the going gets tough. This way, they’ll be more confident as they venture out into the world.

The bottom line

Parenting is an adventure that’s full of both frustration and joy, but it doesn’t have to be complicated.

That’s where these seven simple phrases come in.

Start small. Choose one phrase, and use it at least once in the coming month. The next month, add one more phrase to your repertoire.

Soon enough, you’ll be using all seven phrases as a habit. And you’ll be well on your way to bringing up happy and successful children – one day at a time, and one phrase at a time.

Image: Listening