7 Signs of an Entitled Teenager (Parents, Take Note!)

Updated on February 20, 2025 By Daniel Wong 2 Comments

Do you feel like your teens make too many demands without expressing much appreciation?

Realizing that you have an entitled teenager is a tough pill to swallow.

If left unchecked, your teenagers may carry this sense of entitlement into adulthood.

This is why it’s crucial to address and correct these behaviors as early on as possible.

Fortunately, your teens are still in a teachable stage of life where they can learn values like compassion and gratitude. Your guidance will play a big role in helping them to do just that.

In this article, I’ll discuss the causes of teenage entitlement and the signs of an entitled teenager.

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What is entitlement and how does it affect teenagers?

Entitled teenagers feel that they are owed something even if they haven’t done anything to deserve it.

Surprisingly, research notes that entitlement in teenagers can be helpful at times.

Helpful entitlement is when teens are able to realistically gauge what to expect from others and stand up for their needs.

For example, they should be confident in their parents’ ability to provide for their basic needs.

Conversely, harmful entitlement causes teenagers to be ungrateful and demanding. As a result, they believe they should have their wants fulfilled, regardless of other people’s feelings or needs.

This could have a negative impact on the different areas of a teenager’s life.

Entitled teenagers don’t treat others with compassion and respect. This can make it harder for them to develop and maintain healthy relationships with others.

Unhealthy entitlement is also associated with lower self-esteem and a higher risk of depression and anxiety.

On top of that, teens who have everything taken care of by their parents may have weaker problem-solving skills. Entitled teens are also less likely to be good team players.

So it’s essential to nip this problem in the bud when you spot it.

What causes entitled behavior?

There are a number of possible causes of entitled behavior in teenagers.

Getting to the root cause can help you develop better strategies to manage and address the problem.

The following are possible causes of teenage entitlement:

Indulgent parenting: Research suggests that privileged adolescents are more likely to be entitled. This is because of how other people, including their parents, treat them. If your teens have all their wants fulfilled by you, this may cause them to expect others to do the same.
Inconsistent or non-existent boundaries: Saying “yes” to all your teenager’s demands and failing to address bad behavior can lead to entitlement. If your teens make irresponsible decisions without having to face any consequences, they’re also more likely to continue behaving this way.
Absence of good role models: Do you look down on certain kinds of people? Do you disrespect others? Do you frequently complain or rarely show gratitude? If so, you might notice your teens behaving the same way. This is because teens often mirror their parents’ behaviors.
Lack of opportunities: How often do your teens get the chance to learn to be kind and considerate – either through volunteer work or at home? If your teens have never had to put someone else’s needs above their own, they may develop a sense of entitlement.
Social media or peer influence: Teenagers are easily influenced by what they see around them or on social media. Seeing their friends or influencers leading glamorous lives may cause your teens to have an unhealthy perspective on satisfying their wants.

Recognizing the traits of an entitled teenager

Parenting teens is challenging. It’s easy to feel demoralized when your teenagers behave a certain way, but remember that no parent is perfect.

What’s important is being able to recognize unwanted behavior. This then allows you to address it.

Take note that it’s completely normal for your teens to have their own desires.

What sets unhealthy entitlement apart are these traits:

Ingratitude
Disrespect
Comparison
Irresponsibility

Examples of entitled behavior include throwing a tantrum when told “no” or expecting others to pick up after them.

Let’s take a closer look at the most common signs of an entitled teenager:

Sign #1: Making many unwarranted demands

Do you often get bombarded with demands for things your teens don’t actually need?

Whether it’s the latest phone or branded clothes and shoes – your teens seem to have a never-ending wishlist.

They don’t seem to consider how much effort, time, or money would go into fulfilling their requests.

What’s more, your teenagers don’t practice financial responsibility. They don’t budget or save, and they make costly purchases on a whim.

You might also notice that they often compare themselves to those around them. They may resort to buying new and expensive items to fit in or to feel superior to others.

Sign #2: Reacting negatively when told “no”

Do your teenagers react negatively every time they’re told “no”?

Entitled teenagers aren’t accustomed to handling disappointment when things don’t go their way.

Teenagers might throw a tantrum, give you the cold shoulder, or rudely talk back when you deny them something they’ve asked for.

As much as you might want to give in to soothe the situation, it’s important to be firm. If you give in after your teens lash out or throw a fit, it will cause more harm in the long run.

Sign #3: Rarely expressing gratitude

Entitled teens often struggle to express gratitude, whether through a simple “thank you” or acts of kindness.

If an aunt or uncle buys them a birthday gift or a stranger holds the door for them, you may notice that your teenagers don’t acknowledge these gestures.

A lack of gratitude may also manifest as your teens constantly complaining. For instance, they might refuse to eat dinner unless the food is something they really want to eat.

Teaching gratitude to your teens extends beyond coercing a reluctant “thank you.”

Pointing out the kind acts of others can be beneficial. Additionally, fostering a culture of giving in your household and engaging in family volunteer work can contribute to this process.

Sign #4: Expecting to receive special treatment

Your teenagers might expect special treatment from others, whether it’s in school, at home, or in various social situations.

Your teens might enjoy being the center of attention, even on occasions like someone else’s birthday.

They may also assume that someone else will handle the cleanup responsibilities at home.

While it’s crucial to give your teenagers attention and care when needed, it’s equally important to remind them that they aren’t at the center of the universe.

Encourage your teens to consider the feelings of others. For example, you could take them shopping for a friend’s birthday or suggest that they help their cousin to make wedding preparations.

Sign #5: Disregarding rules and boundaries

You might have observed that your teenagers frequently ignore rules at home, school, and in public.

When you establish curfews, assign chores, or ask them to complete their homework, your teenagers may react strongly or kick up a fuss.

This defiant behavior may stem from a lack of respect for authority figures.

Your teens might think they know better than their parents or teachers and, as a result, refuse to follow their instructions or rules.

Moreover, your teenagers might disregard boundaries. They aren’t afraid to test another person’s limits, such as repeatedly calling a friend by a nickname that’s hurtful.

Teaching your teens to respect rules and boundaries starts at home. Create a clear list of rules and consequences for breaking them, and consistently enforce them.

Sign #6: Being unwilling to take responsibility

Another sign of an entitled teenager is the unwillingness to fulfill their roles and responsibilities at home or school.

Because your teens expect everything to be done for them, they refuse to do their homework or study for exams if they don’t feel like it. This can lead to bad grades.

At home, your teenagers don’t do chores or help around the house.

When they make a mistake, they don’t take any responsibility for it. Instead, your teens might try to shift the blame to someone else.

Sign #7: Finding it difficult to deal with failure

Entitled teenagers are used to having things go their way. Because of this, they might not know how to respond to or handle disappointments and failures in life.

They lack perseverance and frequently rely on others to solve their problems.

This might show up in different ways. For example, you might notice that your teenagers give up easily when doing a difficult assignment.

If this is the case, try to remind your teens that setbacks are part and parcel of life.

Lend them a listening ear, and help them to see failure as an opportunity to learn and improve.

Effective strategies to deal with entitled behavior

Dealing with an entitled teen can be tricky.

But there are steps you can take to curb this type of behavior, including the following:

Start setting and enforcing rules and consequences for breaking those rules.
Avoid picking up after your teenagers all the time or covering for their mistakes.
Discuss the differences between needs and wants with your teenagers.
When you say “no,” don’t go back on it just because your teen throws a tantrum.
Create a chore chart for the family and assign chores to your teens.
Don’t compare your teenagers or yourself to other people.

You don’t have to make these changes all at once. Identify the root issue and pick a couple of solutions you think might work.

Ultimately, what’s most important is modeling positive behavior for your teenagers.

This way, your teens won’t feel like your advice or instructions are hypocritical.

Conclusion

As a parent, it’s natural to want to give your teens the best of everything in life.

But this shouldn’t be done in a way that robs your teens of the opportunity to learn values like gratitude and responsibility.

Of course, dealing with entitlement isn’t easy.

But with patience and consistency, you’ll raise kind, humble, and responsible teenagers!

(If you haven’t already downloaded your free e-book, make sure to click the link below and get your copy.)

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16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.

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Social Media Addiction and Your Teen: What Can Parents Do?

Updated on September 5, 2025 By Daniel Wong 4 Comments

How much social media is too much for your teen?

How can you spot an addiction in your teen?

When almost everyone uses social media apps, you can’t blame your teenagers for doing the same.

But you might be concerned that your teen’s screen time and social media usage is too high. Maybe they’re prioritizing it over in-person relationships or schoolwork.

As parents, you want to give your teens the freedom to connect online.

But you also hope to encourage them to focus on the most important things in life.

So the question is this: Where do you draw the line between normal and excessive?

In this article, I’ll discuss some of the most common signs of social media addiction in teens. I’ll also explore how to detect and address your teen’s unhealthy attachment to social media.

(And if your teens lack motivation, download your free e-book below.)

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Why is social media addictive?

Why are teens so addicted to social media?

They’re not entirely at fault.

Social media platforms are designed to hook users for as long as possible. That’s because they profit from users viewing content and ads.

These social networking sites have features that encourage users to stay on the platform longer and return more often.

The following are some reasons why social media can be addictive for teens.

Reason #1: Teenagers’ need to fit in

Your teens are naturally wired to crave social connections during their adolescent years. This need to fit in can fuel social media addiction.

The teenage brain experiences great satisfaction when connecting with others. Even revealing personal details like their name or age can have an impact on their brains, which is perceived as a reward.

Interactions on these platforms, such as gaining likes and followers, increase levels of dopamine. This is also known as the “feel-good” hormone.

A like, share, or follow also creates the impression that your teens are gaining approval from their peers.

All this means that social media use is tied to feelings of pleasure and excitement that draw your teenagers back for more.

Reason #2: Personalized content

Social media platforms are also engineered to create a flow-like state.

For instance, TikTok is popular because of its For You Page. This endless scroll feature allows users to view short-form videos curated based on their likes and interests.

Viewing, liking, and commenting on these short-form videos can induce a flow state. This might distort your teenagers’ sense of time, causing them to use the app for longer than intended.

Instagram is another platform that uses the same tactics in the Reels feature of the app.

Reason #3: Constant notifications

Many social media apps will send notifications to their users whenever they receive a like or when there’s some kind of interaction.

The anticipation and excitement of receiving these notifications can be addictive.

Plus, when your teens get these notifications, they’ll feel a strong urge to open the app, drawing them back onto the platform.

Reason #4: Opportunities for self-expression

During adolescence, teenagers are developing their own identities. This process enables them to establish their own belief systems, values, and personal ethics.

Social media allows them to experiment with and explore different identities. Teenagers may also use social media to express their personality and interests.

Because of this, teens might spend a lot of time on social media.

When does social media use become an addiction?

Social media isn’t all bad. Your teenagers might use these social networking sites to seek support and connect with people they can relate to.

Of course, using social media might affect their time management as a student and lead to them procrastinating on schoolwork.

But this doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re addicted.

They might still be doing well in school, going out with friends, and helping out around the house. If so, labeling their social media usage as an addiction might be a stretch.

So when does social media become a harmful addiction?

When your teens’ mental health and school-life balance are impacted by social media, it can be considered a harmful addiction.

Research has found that excessive social media use can increase the risk of depression, anxiety, stress, and low self-esteem. If your teens struggle with an addiction, they might have body image issues and often compare themselves to others on social media.

Studies have also shown that social media can affect academic performance. This explains why you may have noticed a drop in your teenagers’ grades or them falling behind on their schoolwork.

Causes of social media addiction

Around 90% of teens aged 13-17 have used social media, and about 75% report being active on it.

While the majority of teens use social media, some are more likely to be addicted to it compared to others.

The following factors may increase your teen’s risk of an unhealthy attachment to these platforms:

Low self-esteem: Teens with a poorer self-image are more likely to use social media for social support and acceptance. “Harvesting” likes and followers might help to boost their self-esteem temporarily.
Social anxiety: Teenagers with social anxiety typically avoid face-to-face conversations. They might perceive social media as an easier way to build friendships.
Depression: Teenagers who don’t get the emotional support they need might turn to social media to cope with depression.
Loneliness: Connecting with people online may be a way to remedy loneliness. Teens might turn to social media to compensate for a lack of genuine in-person friendships or relationships.
Stress: The more stressed a person is, the more likely he or she is to develop a social media addiction. These platforms can become a means of escaping from reality.
Fear of missing out: Your teens might fear losing their popularity, being left out of inside jokes or conversations, etc. This fear triggers the urge to be on social media and to constantly check their notifications.
Peer pressure: Your teens’ peers may regularly be on social networking platforms. This could pressure them to do the same in order to fit in.

Signs of social media addiction in teens

If you’re concerned that your teens might be addicted to social media, keep an eye out for the following signs:

Taking photos, dressing a certain way, or purchasing expensive items to keep up their online image
Becoming angry or sad if they don’t get “enough” likes or followers
Refusing to go out with friends or family so they can spend more time on social networking sites
Becoming sleep-deprived because they get up in the middle of the night to use social media
Over-sharing details about their personal lives with people they’ve just met online
Getting extremely upset or throwing tantrums if you set limits or confront them
Being distracted by their phones when you spend time with them
Neglecting their assignments and exams due to social media usage
Comparing their body or lifestyle to others on social media
Lying about or trying to hide the extent of their social media usage
Feeling guilty if they don’t reply to a message immediately
Refusing or being unable to put their devices away
Stalking other people on social media

Apart from those signs, social media addiction may sometimes lead to physical symptoms such as:

Fatigue
Back pain
Neck pain
Headaches
Eye strain

Social media withdrawal happens when someone with a strong attachment to social media stops using it suddenly. This could lead to intense cravings to use social media, boredom, or fluctuations in mood.

How to address social media addiction

One thing I’ve learned in my years of coaching teens is this: Harsh parenting leads to conflict, bitterness, and resentment.

This is why threatening your teens or yelling at them to quit social media will backfire.

Without proper guidance, your teenagers will likely fall back into their old habits and find ways to hide them from you.

Here are some tips you can use instead to address your teen’s social media addiction:

Tip #1: Discuss social media usage

Find a time to talk to your teens about the pros and cons of social media.

This is also a great time to remind them that what they see on social media isn’t always realistic. Let them know that they shouldn’t have to dress, talk, or look a certain way to be accepted.

Make sure your communication with your teens is a two-way street.

You can ask them why they feel compelled to be on social media. Listen attentively to their response without interrupting them.

This way, you’ll learn more about the underlying issues fueling this addiction.

Tip #2: Set rules and boundaries related to your teens’ social media usage

Work with your teens to create rules and boundaries.

The following are some examples of rules and boundaries that you and your teens might discuss:

Have a time limit for social media usage. You can get your teens to install apps that prevent access to these platforms once their time is up.
Agree on times when social media usage is not allowed. For instance, your teens might not be allowed to use their phones an hour before bedtime.
Agree on what they can and cannot share online. Let them know what’s appropriate and what isn’t, and remind them that what goes online may stay online forever.
Establish priorities. For example, you might have a house rule that social media use is only permitted once they’ve finished their schoolwork and daily chores.

Tip #3: Schedule daily and weekly device-free times

Having rules that the entire family follows can help to encourage your teens to stick to them.

You can have house rules that dictate when everyone should put away their phones, e.g., during family gatherings and dinners.

You can also plan weekend trips, getaways, or activities with the family to encourage everyone to put away their phones.

You could consider pursuing a new hobby or learning a new skill, sport, or language together with your teenagers to keep them occupied.

Tip #4: Be a role model

As a parent, you might not fully understand the allure of social media. But other things can keep you glued to your phone.

Your teenagers are observing and learning from your behavior. If you’re setting rules for them that you don’t follow, they might call you out for being hypocritical.

So start by setting a good example for your teens. Spend meaningful time with your teenagers, and be sure to put your devices away when you’re with them.

Tip #5: Be there for your teens

Many teenagers turn to social media to remedy feelings of loneliness or stress.

While you might not be able to relate to your teen’s struggles all the time, you can still make yourself available whenever he or she needs support.

Listen attentively to your teens’ problems without judging them. Ask them if you can do anything to help them through the situation.

This way, your teens will be less likely to rely on social media to cope with the underlying issues.

Conclusion

When you create rules related to your teens’ social media use, be consistent. You can discuss these rules with your teens and set consequences for breaking the rules.

You should also keep an eye on your teenagers’ mental and emotional well-being.

Your teens could be experiencing depression, anxiety, or body image issues due to an addiction to social media.

In such a case, it would be best to seek the help of a professional, like a coach or therapist.

(If you haven’t already downloaded your free e-book below, do it right away.)

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Why Your Teenager Doesn’t Want to Spend Time With Family (And How to Change That)

Updated on July 1, 2025 By Daniel Wong 9 Comments

Are you worried that your teen no longer enjoys spending time with the family?

You’ve been making plans and organizing family activities.

But your teens refuse to join in and would rather hang out with their friends or stay in their room.

If your teen seems to be withdrawing, should you just accept it?

Research shows that teens benefit from quality time with family, particularly eating together and leisure activities.

In this article, I’ll discuss possible reasons why your teenager doesn’t want to be with family. I’ll also include some tips on how to address the issue.

(If your teen lacks motivation sometimes, make sure to download your free e-book below.)

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Why teens may not want to spend time with family

A desire for more independence is a natural part of growing up. This stage of life is marked by a process known as individuation – a normal part of becoming an adult.

During this time, teenagers separate themselves from their parents’ influence. This allows them to establish their independence and gain a stronger sense of self.

There are a few possible reasons why your teen has a strong need to develop his or her individuality, including:

Brain development: During this stage, your teenagers are growing in areas such as intelligence, decision-making, and reasoning. They process information in a more sophisticated manner. This also means they’re likely to have opinions and judgments about various matters.
Peer influence: Teenagers begin to value their connection with their peers more. They might be able to relate better to their friends, causing them to lean on their friends more for emotional support.
Need for social acceptance: Research studies show that teenagers typically develop a stronger need to fit in and be accepted. This can lead them to spend more time with their friends than with their parents.
Desire for novel experiences: Most teenagers like to explore and experiment. They develop new interests that might not align with the family’s traditions and activities.

You might feel hurt when your teens say “no” to spending time with the family.

But your teens’ desire to be independent doesn’t mean you’ve failed as a parent. This change is often a natural part of the journey toward adulthood.

Signs that your teen wants to be away from family

Parenting teens is an ever-changing experience. As your kids step into this phase of life, you may notice changes in their behavior and interactions with others.

Behavioral indicators

Signs that your teenagers don’t want to spend time with family include the following:

They’re often out of the house with friends or participating in extracurricular activities.
They don’t want to be seen with you (e.g., asking you to drop them off a block away from their destination).
They frequently come up with excuses to miss family gatherings or activities.
Their need for privacy increases (e.g., they often lock their room door).
They spend more time exploring new hobbies or interests.
The conversations you have with them are short and one-sided.

Emotional indicators

You might also notice that your teens’ emotions, body language, and tone of speech change when they’re around you.

Here are some emotional indicators that your teenagers don’t want to spend time with the family:

Their body language or tone indicates they’re unhappy or disinterested around you (e.g., crossed arms, lack of eye contact).
They seem emotionally distant or disconnected.
There’s an increase in conflicts between you and your teens.
They don’t discuss their thoughts, feelings, or struggles with you.
During family activities, they lack enthusiasm.

Your teens will naturally have an increased need for independence, leading to the changes listed above.

Having said that, you’ll also have to consider how you’re interacting with and parenting your teens.

The parenting methods that worked well when they were children are unlikely to continue working when they’re teenagers.

How to include your teens in family activities

As a parent, you might feel upset when your teens reject the plans you propose. In frustration, you may nag or criticize them.

Teenagers are especially sensitive to criticism at this stage of their lives. So this can backfire and cause them to distance themselves even more from the family.

Instead, here are some things you can do to encourage your teens to participate in family activities:

Let them plan the activity: You can let your teens decide what the family should do. Taking turns to make plans for the family can make everyone feel more involved and connected.
Choose activities they enjoy: Ask your teens to suggest things they’d like to do. As long as their suggestions are safe and reasonable, give them a try.
Tell them in advance: If you plan to do something as a family, let your teens know in advance. Ask them if they have any preferred date or time. This shows that you respect their time.
Communicate your expectations: Sit down and discuss the non-negotiables with your teens. Prioritize events and activities they should be part of, and make this a house rule for your teens. These might include things like celebrating a family member’s birthday or participating in an annual family tradition.
Create family routines and traditions: For example, you might decide to eat out as a family every Sunday evening or watch a movie together every last Friday of the month. Having scheduled and routine activities can take the pressure out of planning and create a culture of spending time together as a family.

Ways to address your teen not wanting to be with family

Have you ever wondered what to do when your teenagers shut you out?

Maybe your teens have been isolating themselves from the family or giving you the cold shoulder whenever you talk to them.

No parent is perfect. But it’s still important for us as parents to reflect on how we treat and communicate with our teenagers.

Here are some tips on how you can foster a stronger bond with your teenagers and encourage them to spend time with the family:

Respect their boundaries and privacy. Your teenagers may distance themselves from you if you overstep their boundaries. Some examples include asking too many questions, frequently reading their text messages, and not allowing them to hang out with their friends.
Listen when they speak. When your teens share their interests, struggles, or the events of their day, it’s important to listen actively. Avoid interrupting them or talking over them. Acknowledge their feelings and opinions. This will create an emotionally safe space for them.
Avoid blaming and shaming. Don’t start conversations by criticizing, blaming, or shaming your teens. Be understanding and empathetic when your teens tell you about a problem or challenge they’re facing. Help them reflect on what they could have done better without belittling or lecturing them.
Spend time with them regularly. Eat dinner together, or invite them to join you while running errands, then grab a snack at their favorite place on the way home. You can also learn a new sport or pick up a new hobby with your teens.
Be present. When your teenagers need you, be there for them as much as possible. Support them at competitions and make time for them when they need a shoulder to lean (or cry) on.

It’s essential to build a strong bond with your teens.

Research shows that teens who have strong bonds with their parents and spend time with them regularly have fewer behavioral problems. They’re also less likely to take part in delinquent or risky behaviors.

What to do if your teenager wants to move out

If your teen tells you that he or she wants to move out, you might feel shocked. But it’s important to assess the situation objectively if your teen brings up the topic.

Let’s say that your teen isn’t old enough or isn’t capable of living independently yet. If so, it’s best to keep your teen at home or to get your teen to live with other family members (if that’s a viable option).

Here are some steps you can take if your teenager wants to move out:

Find out the real reason why. Try to get to the root of why he or she wants to leave. Your teen may want more independence or may want to live closer to school.
Approach the situation calmly. If your teen threatens to leave during a fight, ensure that both of you take the time and space needed to cool down before discussing the issue calmly.
Work through the problems together. If a relationship or family issue is the main reason your teen wants to move out, it needs to be addressed right away. You can do this by working through your parent-teen conflicts or attending family therapy.
Help your teen assess if he or she is ready. Depending on your teen’s age and maturity level, you can calmly lay out the realities of moving out, such as rent, insurance, groceries, etc. This might help your teen realize the benefits of living at home until he or she is truly ready to live independently. You might need to teach your teenagers life skills like cooking or budgeting to prepare them for the move.

Conclusion

A healthy parent-teen relationship takes time and persistence to cultivate.

Show empathy and basic respect whenever you communicate with your teenagers.

Make sure they feel as if you’re treating them as people – not problems to be solved or projects to be worked on.

As you build a strong relationship with your teens, they’ll look forward to spending time with you and the family!

(If you haven’t already done so, download your free e-book below.)

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Unmotivated Teenagers: What’s Really Going On? (And How Parents Can Help)

Updated on August 28, 2025 By Daniel Wong 19 Comments

Are you concerned that your teenager isn’t making the most of his or her potential?

Or do you worry that your teenager lacks focus?

Unmotivated teenagers cause their parents a lot of stress and frustration.

During adolescence, teens often deal with challenges like peer pressure, bullying, school-related stress, etc. These issues can affect teens’ motivation by causing them to feel overwhelmed or lost.

Parenting teens is hard, and you’re not alone if you feel like you’ve tried everything to motivate your teenager.

This article explores the possible explanations for what’s going on with unmotivated teenagers. We’ll also explore what you – as a parent – can do to help.

Of course, there are times when unmotivated teens will need professional support. This is something that we’ll discuss toward the end of the article.

Let me start by asking this question…

Why does your teenager lack motivation?

It’s essential to understand what your teenagers are going through before concluding that they’re “unmotivated.”

Perhaps you even wonder if you are doing enough to keep your teenagers motivated.

So let’s take a closer look at these 8 common reasons for teens’ lack of motivation.

Reason #1: Your teen feels discouraged or overwhelmed

Growing up and developing into a young adult is a journey that has many ups and downs. Teenagers frequently feel overwhelmed, both in school and in their personal lives.

When it comes to school, the workload alone can feel daunting. Whether they’re struggling to focus in class or are unable to keep up with the work, your teenagers may be feeling distressed.

As teens get older, the material they learn in school gets significantly harder. At the same time, they become busier with extracurricular activities and their social life.

As such, most teens struggle to lead balanced lives.

Over time, self-doubt can arise in teenagers. On the outside, this may look like a lack of motivation, when the underlying emotion is actually discouragement.

Here’s where you can guide your teenagers toward understanding the power of focus and time management. Talk to them about which activities they could focus on and which to scale back on.

Of course, you should make it clear that you’re there to support your teens, but that they are fully responsible for their choices.

Reason #2: Your teen isn’t taking care of his or her physical health

Teenagers crave independence and want to make their own choices. Teens want to exercise their decision-making abilities in many areas, including their food choices, the physical activities they participate in, and when they go to bed.

Teens who consume sugary drinks and unhealthy snacks will have poor energy levels. The same thing will happen if they don’t exercise regularly.

Research shows that sedentary behavior can lead to anxiety, depression, poor mental capacity, loss of concentration, and even a decline in memory. Being sleep-deprived – which most teens are – doesn’t help the situation!

Considering the factors above, you can see why your teen might lack enthusiasm or seem listless. Proper diet, exercise, and sleep are essential elements for students who are motivated to give their best.

To help your teens lead a healthy lifestyle, you can try organizing family outings that involve hiking or biking. Even going for a walk as a family once or twice a week is a good start.

You can also plan healthy dinners. Remove junk food from your home and keep healthy snacks on hand.

And it’s vital that you lead by example in taking care of your own physical health!

Reason #3: Your teen feels like he or she is being micromanaged

Nobody likes to be micromanaged.

Statistics show that 59% of adults have experienced being micromanaged at some point in their working life. Of those who reported working for a micromanager, 68% said it had decreased their morale, and 55% claimed it had hurt their productivity.

Your teens aren’t your employees, but you may be treating them like they are.

Teens crave independence and being trusted to make their own decisions.

So if you talk down to your teens, it can result in rebellious behavior. They may start to act out and defy your instructions.

Be mindful not to control every aspect of your teenagers’ lives. If safety isn’t an issue, allow them to make their own choices as far as possible. Some relevant areas would be clothes, food, choice of friends, and when they do their homework.

The more control you exert, the more likely they’ll be unmotivated teenagers.

Instead, include your teens in the decision-making process as much as possible. This would be applicable when it comes to establishing rules and boundaries.

By doing this, your teenagers will be more likely to comply with those rules. This means that you won’t be forced to micromanage them, so it’s a win-win situation!

Reason #4: Your teen doesn’t see the purpose of what he or she is being asked to do

How often have you asked your teens to complete some chores or to stop using their phone so much?

And how often have your teens ignored your requests?

Teenagers won’t want to do these things if they don’t understand or agree with the reasons you give them.

You may think you’re dealing with unmotivated teenagers. But maybe they just don’t see why they need to do the chores now instead of later, or why they should stop using their phone when they’ve already completed their homework.

Focus on the intrinsic value of what you’re asking your teens to do, e.g. contributing to the family, becoming a more disciplined person, developing traits like commitment and perseverance.

Of course, it’s important that you periodically talk to your teens about what values matter to them. It’s also important that you appreciate your teens sincerely when they fulfill their responsibilities.

When your teens focus on the intrinsic value of what they’re doing – not just on the practical benefits they’ll receive – they’ll develop a sense of purpose. They’ll also find the inner motivation to do the things that matter.

Reason #5: Your teen doesn’t know how to prioritize

The concept of organization doesn’t just apply to items your teens own. It also refers to how your teens prioritize their tasks.

Prioritizing allows your teens to sort through everything on their agenda and decide how best to complete those tasks.

Teens who haven’t learned how to prioritize often feel like they don’t know where to start. They end up getting distracted instead, which causes them to seem unmotivated.

If your teens know how to create lists and keep track of events and deadlines, they’ll be less stressed. They’ll procrastinate less, and they’ll stay on top of their tasks.

According to research, people who finish their most difficult tasks first are more productive than people who start with their easy tasks.

Reason #6: Your teen feels forced into doing things

No one likes to feel pressured into doing things they don’t want to do – teenagers especially.

So don’t spend too much time trying to force your teen to behave in a certain way, or you’ll both end up feeling frustrated.

Many parents use rewards to motivate their teens to perform certain tasks. But if you use this approach frequently, your teens will become outcome-oriented instead of process-oriented.

They’ll start to focus on the benefits they’ll receive if they perform the task, rather than focusing on the intrinsic value of the task. This will result in long-term negative consequences.

What’s more, your teenagers are likely to become more unmotivated over time.

So what should you do instead?

Try having a problem-solving conversation with your teens. Understanding their perspective will help you learn what support they need. You’ll also learn how you can be a better parent to them.

Make sure to use active listening techniques when speaking with your teenagers, e.g. maintaining eye contact, paying attention to body language, asking clarifying questions. Your teens will be more willing to share how they feel if they know you’re really listening to them.

Reason #7: Your teen has a learning disability

Learning disabilities can hinder a teen’s ability to comprehend or retain information.

Simple equations may be challenging to remember, or basic grammar rules may cause confusion.

Here are a few common learning disabilities:

Dyslexia. This is a learning disorder in which people find it hard to read. This is because of problems identifying sounds of speech and how they relate to letters.
Dyscalculia. This is a learning disorder that causes people to have trouble learning math. These difficulties can include problems doing both basic and abstract math.
Dysgraphia. This neurological condition makes it difficult for people to turn their thoughts into written words. This can also affect handwriting and writing speed.

A related condition is attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). This is a neurodevelopmental disorder that leads to poor planning and time management, impulsiveness, a lack of concentration, disorganization, etc.

Reason #8: Your teen doesn’t have a mentor or coach

A mentor or coach is the little-known factor that enables teenagers to become both successful and happy.

It’s hard for parents to mentor their teens. This is because teens often interpret parental advice as nagging or lecturing.

Having a mentor benefits teenagers as they navigate their educational and life journeys. Research even shows that teenagers with mentors experience higher levels of life satisfaction.

Finding someone to fill this role can be challenging because it’s rare to have a family friend or relative who can serve as a mentor. Few adults can fully understand your teen’s challenges and guide your teen effectively.

This is where a more formal arrangement – like engaging a coach – can help.

Professionals who can help your unmotivated teen

If your teenager lacks motivation or faces other related challenges, you might be considering engaging a professional to help him or her.

Professional support comes in many forms, each serving a different purpose.

Here are the professionals who may be able to help your teen, depending on what issues your teen is dealing with:

1. Therapist or counselor

Main objective: To help teens work through trauma or emotional distress.

A therapist or counselor can help teens work through emotions related to trauma, physical abuse, or other situations causing ongoing emotional distress.

2. Psychologist or psychiatrist

Main objective: To treat teens who have mental disorders and mental illnesses.

A psychologist can help teens who have emotional problems and provide treatment for mental health-related issues. This often involves some kind of behavioral therapy like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) or dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT).

A psychiatrist is a medical doctor who treats mental illnesses. Psychiatrists frequently prescribe medications that they think may help the patient’s condition.

3. Tutor

Main objective: To help focused and driven teens improve in specific academic areas.

Engaging a tutor is a good option for teens who are already motivated and focused, but who just need some additional assistance in a specific subject.

4. Coach

Main objective: To equip teens with the mindset and tools needed to become motivated, focused, confident, resilient, and responsible.

Engaging a coach is a solution that many parents haven’t considered.

Coaches specialize in guiding teens who are going through a difficult time, who have a learning disability, who lack motivation, or who are struggling to overcome various challenges.

Coaches help teens become more resilient, understand the importance of education, overcome a negative mindset, develop planning and organizational skills, etc.

So if your teens don’t have a strong sense of purpose, give up easily, frequently get distracted, or lack self-confidence and a sense of responsibility – then connecting them with a coach will benefit them tremendously.

A coach might be just what your teen needs!

To learn more about how your teen might benefit from coaching, read this article next. Or you can also click the link in the box below…

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Coaching for Teens: Can It Help My Teen to Become Motivated?

Top Students Who Sleep 8 Hours a Night Use These 10 Principles

Updated on September 3, 2022 By Daniel Wong 68 Comments

Students who want to be top students are busy.

You’ve got homework to do, projects to complete, extra classes to attend, and responsibilities to fulfill.

It’s not easy to lead a balanced life and get excellent grades, too. No wonder you’re sleep-deprived!

Want to hear some good news?

It doesn’t have to be this way.

You can become a top student and sleep eight hours a night. I know because I was that student.

I’ve since completed my formal education. But, if you’re curious, here are some of my academic achievements:

I got 9 A1s for the GCE O-Levels.
I got 4 As and 2 “Special” Paper distinctions for the GCE A-Levels.
I received a full academic scholarship to study at Duke University in the USA.
I did a double major at Duke and graduated summa cum laude (First Class Honours). My GPA was 3.98/4.0.
I was inducted into three academic honour societies at Duke.

I don’t say all of this to brag — and I certainly don’t think these achievements make me a super-impressive person.

Neither do I believe the main aim of education is to become a top student.

However, by becoming a better student, you’ll learn to become more organised, focused, disciplined, and meticulous — valuable skills and qualities for lifelong success.

If you continually feel overwhelmed, you’re probably sleep-deprived, spending too much time on urgent tasks. Top students know this, so they focus on getting assignments done before they become urgent.

Apply the 10 principles outlined in this article, and I guarantee that you’ll study more effectively, feel less stressed, and have more time for the things you love outside of school — including sleep.

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How to Study Smart: 20 Scientific Ways to Learn Faster

Updated on September 30, 2025 By Daniel Wong 304 Comments

To improve your grades, you can either spend more time studying, or you can learn to study smart.

168.

That’s how many hours there are in a week.

If you’re a student, you probably feel like this isn’t enough.

After all, you have so many assignments to do, projects to work on, and tests to study for.

Plus, you have other activities and commitments.

And you want to have a social life too.

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could study smarter (not harder), get good grades, and lead a balanced life?

Of course it would. That’s why I wrote this article.

The main aim of education isn’t to get straight A’s. But learning how to learn is a crucial life skill.

So I spent hours scouring scientific articles and research journals to find the best ways to learn more effectively.

I’m a lifelong top student myself, and I’ve since completed my formal education. Over the course of my academic career, I’ve used almost all the smart studying tips outlined in this article, so I can verify that they work.

Let’s get started. Here are 20 scientific ways to learn faster.

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Enter your email below to download a PDF summary of this article. The PDF contains all the tips found here, plus 3 exclusive bonus tips that you’ll only find in the PDF.

How to study smarter and more efficiently

Studying smart essentially means learning how to learn.

This includes how to learn faster and more efficiently, while retaining information for longer.

1. Learn the same information in a variety of ways.

The research (Willis, J. 2008) shows that different media stimulate different parts of the brain. The more areas of the brain that are activated, the more likely it is that you’ll understand and retain the information.^[1]

So to learn a specific topic, you could do the following:

Read the class notes
Read the textbook
Watch a Khan Academy video
Look up other online resources
Create a mind map
Teach someone what you’ve learned
Do practice problems from a variety of sources

Of course, you won’t be able to do all of these things in one sitting. But each time you review the topic, use a different resource or method – you’ll learn faster this way.

2. Study multiple subjects each day, rather than focusing on just one or two subjects.

It’s more effective to study multiple subjects each day to help you stay focused, than to deep-dive into one or two subjects (Rohrer, D. 2012).^[2]

For example, if you’re preparing for exams in math, history, physics, and chemistry, it’s better to study a bit of each subject every day. This approach will help you to learn faster than by focusing on just math on Monday, history on Tuesday, physics on Wednesday, chemistry on Thursday, and so on.

Why?

Because you’re likely to confuse similar information if you study a lot of the same subject in one day.

So as a tip to learn faster, spread out your study time for each subject. In so doing, your brain will have more time to consolidate your learning. [Read more…]