Do you want to have good parenting skills?
Of course you do.
You want to help your children make the most of their potential, and you want them to be contributing members of society.
But it’s time-consuming to sift through all the parenting tips out there.
What makes it more confusing is that the tips from different “parenting experts” are often contradictory!
I wanted to know what parenting skills and tips have been proven to be effective. So I read through all the scientific articles I could find.
Based on many hours of research, I’ve come up with this list of 12 good parenting skills. (If you’d like to discover another three skills effective parents have, download the free bonus below.)
Parenting skill #1: Focus more on your children’s positive behaviour than negative behaviour.
Yale University psychology professor Alan Kazdin explains that parents should be intentional about focusing more on their children’s positive behaviour than on their negative behaviour.
The more parents scold or reprimand, the more the bad behaviour gets repeated.
When they receive a lot of scolding, children start to internalise the belief that “I’m a bad child who misbehaves and gets scolded”.
As such, they don’t feel motivated to correct their behaviour, because it has already become a part of their identity.
Effective parents understand that the better approach is to acknowledge or describe their children’s good behaviour when they see it.
You may have to go out of your way to do this, but you’ll soon observe your children’s behaviour improving.
Parenting skill #2: Teach your children to focus on the needs of others.
Lara Aknin’s research shows that children find happiness through giving to others.
In fact, children find greater happiness when they give to others sacrificially.
These are interesting findings, because most of us are naturally self-centred. We look out for our own needs before the needs of others.
But the research indicates that if we overcome our selfish nature and focus on the needs of others, we’ll be happier.
If you want your children to lead joyful, fulfilling lives, teach them to serve others and contribute. Involve them in activities where they get to help others and make a positive impact.