Daniel Wong, Author at Daniel Wong

50 Positive Things to Say to Your Children (So You Won’t Need to Nag Anymore!)

Updated on November 8, 2017 By Daniel Wong 1 Comment

Do you nag your children often?

If your answer is “yes”, you’re not alone.

You want your children to be responsible, self-motivated and independent.

Since they’re not there yet, you instinctively nag them to correct their behaviour and attitude.

But, at the same time, you realise that all this nagging isn’t working.

Sound familiar?

If so, this article is for you.

I’ve had years of experience working with thousands of children and teenagers. So I now understand the factors that help them to become mature and responsible.

One of the most important factors is how their parents speak to them.

The more positive interactions between the parent and child, the less likely it is that the parent will need to nag the child in order to gain compliance.

It’s also more likely that a strong parent-child bond will form.

In fact, there’s a supposed “magic ratio” of 5 to 1 in healthy relationships: 5 positive expressions of feelings and actions for every negative expression.

So, in this article, I’ll share with you 50 positive things you can say to your children, so that – in the long run – you won’t need to nag them anymore!

Before we get to the list, here’s a bonus for you . . .

BONUS: Download a free poster that contains the top 12 positive things to say to your children. You can print out the poster as a daily reminder of the phrases to use.

Here’s the list:

1. “I’m grateful for you.” Children feel special when they know you’re thankful that they’re a part of your life.

2. “What do you think?” Ask this question to show that you value your children’s opinions.

3. “I enjoy spending time with you.” Children and teenagers behave better when they know that you love them and like them.

4. “All of us make mistakes.” Say this instead of harshly criticising your children for accidental mistakes.

5. “You’re special to me.” This phrase will help to fill your children’s “love tank”.

6. “I appreciate it when you . . .” For example, you might say, “I appreciate it when you set the table for dinner.”

7. “I trust you.” Children and teenagers who feel as if their parents trust them are more likely to become trustworthy.

8. “You’re getting better at . . .” When you notice your children’s progress, they’ll feel encouraged and motivated. [Read more…]

50 Ways to Get Your Children to Respect You

May 2, 2017 By Daniel Wong 2 Comments

It’s frustrating, isn’t it?

You try hard as a parent. You do so much for your children, but they’re frequently not respectful toward you.

Sometimes they ignore what you say, or they talk back to you. They even ask you to stop nagging.

I’ve spoken to and worked with close to 25,000 children and teenagers so far, so I know what will get them to respect you as a parent.

When I say “respect”, I’m referring to a sense of admiration and honour that your children have toward you.

I’m not referring to your children feeling afraid of you.

In other words, if you want to get your children to respect you, you’ll need to earn it.

Here are 50 tips that will help you to do just that . . .

BONUS: Download a free PDF summary of this article. The PDF contains all the tips found here, plus 5 exclusive bonus tips that you’ll only find in the PDF.

1. Respect your children

Children learn from watching you, and they’re likely to copy your behaviour. When you demonstrate basic respect toward your children, they’ll demonstrate respect toward you.

I’m not saying that you should let your children walk all over you. But I am saying that you shouldn’t belittle or shame them, nor should you criticise them harshly.

2. Focus more on the relationship than the rules

You don’t need to throw out the rulebook.

Just show your children that you value the parent-child relationship by speaking kindly to them and trying to understand their perspective. [Read more…]

How to Get Organised for School: 30 Simple Tips for Students

Updated on January 17, 2019 By Daniel Wong 18 Comments

Note: I’ve received comments and messages telling me that the word “organised” in the title should be spelled as “organized”. But I write in British English, where the word really is spelled as “organised”. 🙂

Life as a student is busy. There’s so much going on.

If you’re not organised and you feel like you’re not on top of things, stress can build up.

You might end up working late and sleeping less to try to catch up, but this isn’t a good habit.

Getting organised for school is all about developing good habits and systems.

Through my experiences, I’ve come up with these 30 simple tips that will help students to become organised, productive, and effective.

BONUS: Download a free PDF summary of this article. The PDF contains all the tips found here, plus 3 exclusive bonus tips that you’ll only find in the PDF.

1. Develop a routine

Consistency is the key to student success. So write down your general weekly schedule and create a routine.

Include things like when you’ll do your homework, when you’ll review the things you’ve learned, when you’ll exercise, and so on.

It’s not possible to stick to a routine 100% of the time, but at least set up the framework to keep you focused and on track.

2. Set rules for yourself

Set some very specific rules for yourself. These could be things like “complete all projects and assignments at least two days before they are due” or “start studying for tests at least one week in advance”.

Review your rules once a month and adjust them if necessary.

3. Write everything down

No one has a perfect memory, and trying to remember everything is stressful. So make a habit of writing down all your events, meetings, ideas, and things you need to do.

Use a notebook or planner, or try an app like Google Keep or Any.do that you can use on your phone and computer.

When you write everything down, you’ll be less anxious because you won’t be relying on your brain as a storage device. [Read more…]

30 Things That Young People Need to Know Are NOT Important in Life

Updated on July 4, 2017 By Daniel Wong 25 Comments

Let’s be honest.

We all spend time thinking about or doing things that aren’t important in life.

It can take a lot of time and energy, and it distracts us from the things that do matter.

Children and teenagers are particularly prone to this. I admit that I was definitely like this when I was younger as well!

I’ve spoken to and worked with more than 20,000 students thus far. Based on my experiences and observations, I’ve come up with this list of things that young people need to realise are not important in life.

Get my FREE e-book, 16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager. The e-book has already been downloaded by more than 18,000 happy parents.

1. How many friends or followers you have on social media

Many people measure their self-worth by the number of friends or followers they have on social media, but this isn’t important in the long run.

Those followers won’t help you when you have a rough day, and they won’t support you when you’re feeling down.

They’ll just post images to show the best parts of their lives – too much time spent on social media leads to depression for this very reason.

2. How many “likes” you get on social media

The number of “likes” or comments on a social media post can seem important. It can seem like an indication of your popularity.

The thing to remember is that the number of likes you get isn’t nearly as important as the number of true friends you have. Nor is it as important as the relationships you have with your family members.

3. Living in the past

Everyone can get caught up living in the past. Either reliving the good times, or rehashing mistakes you’ve made.

According to research conducted by Matt Killingsworth, we’re happiest when we live in the moment.

So make the decision to be fully present wherever you are. [Read more…]

10 Common Parenting Mistakes That Demotivate Your Children

Updated on July 4, 2017 By Daniel Wong Leave a Comment

Wouldn’t it be great if your children were motivated, independent learners?

That way, you wouldn’t have to nag or scold them to do their homework, and life would be easier for everyone.

Parents often tell me how frustrated they are that their children aren’t interested in school.

They’re also concerned that this lack of motivation will carry over to other areas of life.

The problem is that parents often demotivate their children unintentionally.

Here are 10 of the most common mistakes parents make – so do your best to avoid them in your home.

Get my FREE e-book, 16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager. The e-book has already been downloaded by more than 18,000 happy parents.

Mistake #1: Give your children too many rewards based on achievement or behaviour

This is a trap that many parents fall into, and for good reason. The first time you try it, it seems to work.

You might tell your children that you’ll pay them a dollar each time they get more than 85% for a class test. This seems to work because they start studying harder.

You think to yourself, “Great. Problem solved!”

Then a few weeks later you realise their motivation has waned. They complain that getting a good grade deserves more than one dollar.

An argument breaks out, and you find yourself justifying the price. You even explain that studying hard is their basic responsibility as a student.

If this describes your situation, you’re not alone.

Many studies show that rewards and punishments work in the short term, but not in the long term.

(Read on to find out what other approaches you can try instead.)

Mistake #2: Overemphasise the importance of academics

Parents think that emphasising the importance of academics will motivate their children to work hard.

The problem is that this approach doesn’t turn your children into lifelong learners.

Learning isn’t just about getting good grades. It’s also about enjoying the process.

When children enjoy learning, they become motivated to keep on learning.

Grades can affect your job prospects, but many great leaders weren’t great students. Unfortunately, many of the students I’ve worked with tell me that their parents seem to think that grades are the only thing that matters.

We now know that there are many different types of intelligence and that the education system only measures some of these.

All parents would agree that social skills, character development, and learning to relax and reflect are also important areas of focus.

When parents dismiss their children’s hobbies and games as a waste of time, they hurt their children’s feelings and damage the parent-child relationship.

Parents must value and respect their children’s activities. Dance and sport can improve kinaesthetic intelligence, and games and discussions can boost intrapersonal intelligence.

These are vital skills for children to learn and carry with them through life. [Read more…]

15 Simple Tips for Raising Confident Children

Updated on February 1, 2017 By Daniel Wong 10 Comments

It’s painful to see your children struggling with self-confidence issues.

They may shy away from challenges or lack courage, and you may be concerned about how they’re maturing.

Parents often tell me they worry about how their children’s lack of confidence will affect their future.

There are many things you can do as a parent to help develop self-assurance in your children.

Read this article to discover 15 practical tips you can implement today.

Get my FREE e-book, 16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager. The e-book has already been downloaded by more than 18,000 happy parents.

1. Give them responsibilities

Give your children responsibilities, such as helping you cook dinner or taking care of a younger sibling.

When your children fulfil their responsibilities, they experience an increase in self-worth, which boosts their confidence.

Dr Marty Rossman conducted research to support this theory. He found that children who help out with household chores do better in school, and that they’re also more empathic and caring.

Children feel good when they’re contributing to the family and have an important role to play. They feel needed as an integral part of the family.

You can foster self-confidence in your children by giving them responsibilities. Give your children tasks to take care of regularly so they become dependable and conscientious.

2. Share your own struggles with them

It’s important that your children understand that no one is perfect.

Share your difficulties with your children so they can see that it’s normal to face challenges.

Telling your children about problems you have at work or with various friendships is educational. Your children will begin to realise that it’s OK to be vulnerable and to have problems.

Brené Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston, says: “Through my research, I found that vulnerability is the glue that holds relationships together. It’s the magic sauce.”

Your children will gain confidence when they hear about your troubles, and about what you’re doing to overcome them.

They’ll start to accept challenges as normal and realise that nothing worth doing comes easily. [Read more…]

Top 26 Useful Websites for Students

Updated on July 4, 2017 By Daniel Wong 1 Comment

The Internet.

Is there a better gift for students?

It allows you to keep in touch with friends, and it also gives you something to do when you’ve completed your schoolwork.

Without the Internet, life would be more dull.

You might love the Internet as a way to relax, but there’s also a lot that it can do to help you improve your study habits and make you more successful.

The following list contains the top useful websites to enable you to get organized, develop new skills, and plan for the future.

So the next time you take a break, check out some of these websites!

FREE BONUS: PDF summary of this article, which also contains a bonus list of 5 mobile apps that every student should use.

Enter your email in the box below to get the PDF.

Get your FREE summary + list of 5 bonus apps

Scheduling, Organization, and Personal Effectiveness

1. MyStudyLife

MyStudyLife is a free app that lets you coordinate your calendar and to-do list.

Designed especially for schools, this is a planner that can be customized for rotating schedules and long-term assignments.

You can even set up reminders about your homework due dates and store assignments in the cloud, so they’re always accessible.

2. KeepMeOut

If you find yourself becoming distracted by your favorite entertainment websites, use KeepMeOut to create a bookmark in your browser that sets off an alarm when you visit these websites too often.

It’s a great way to help you create effective web-surfing habits! [Read more…]

50 Positive Things to Say to Your Children (So You Won’t Need to Nag Anymore!)