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50 Priceless Gifts Your Children Will Treasure for Life (That Don’t Cost a Cent)

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 21 Comments

What are the best gifts to give your children?

The latest smartphone? A new laptop? A fun vacation?

There’s nothing wrong with giving children material things. But through my interactions with thousands of students, I realize that the gifts they value most usually don’t cost a cent.

Nevertheless, these gifts will bring them long-lasting joy, fulfillment, and success.

Inspired by this article, I came up with this list of 50 gifts your children will treasure for life, and which don’t cost a cent.

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1. Responsibilities

Through responsibilities, children learn to be responsible. And being responsible is a key factor that leads to enduring success.

2. Contentment

More shoes, more clothes, more money, more electronic devices … It’s easy to feel as if you never have enough. But if children don’t learn to be contented, they’ll never be happy.

3. Vulnerability

Be vulnerable with your children by sharing your challenges and weaknesses – as well as what you’re doing to overcome them. This way, your children will learn that they don’t have to pretend to be perfect.

4. Managing their emotions

Children must learn to deal with emotions like anger, frustration, and disappointment in order to lead a productive life.

5. Letters

My mom has been writing me letters for years, and I’ve kept all of them. In these letters, she shared her hopes, dreams, and concerns with me. Each letter has inspired me to live with a stronger sense of purpose and determination. (I love you, Mom!)

6. Family rituals

Family rituals are great for bonding. Research also shows that they help children to develop socially. These rituals could be as simple as having breakfast as a family every Saturday morning, or having a weekly family meeting.

7. Strong relationship with your spouse

As you model a healthy marriage for your children, they’ll learn how to build a strong marriage for themselves and their spouse in the future.

8. Being a team player

As the saying goes, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” Great things are accomplished through teamwork.

9. Money management

Share with your children the basics of smart spending, saving, and investing. These skills will benefit them for the rest of their life.

10. Kindness

Children must learn to be kind toward others – and also toward themselves. Teach your children to become their own best friend, so that they won’t ever be overwhelmed by guilt or shame.

11. Inquisitiveness

There are endless things to learn and explore. Become an inquisitive person yourself, and share with your children the joy of embracing the beauty of the world around us.

12. Appreciation

Tell your children what you appreciate about them. Set an example by frequently giving others sincere compliments too.

13. Love

Remind your children that you love them unconditionally. It doesn’t matter what grades they get or what achievements they rack up. The more loved your children feel, the more they’ll be able to love others well.

14. Patience

Worthwhile accomplishments don’t happen overnight. As such, patience is a virtue that’s at the foundation of fulfillment and success.

15. Challenges

Children must be given enough appropriate challenges, so they’ll learn to enjoy challenges, rather than avoid them.

16. Gratitude

Studies show that grateful people are happier, healthier, and more successful. Show your children that there are always things to be thankful for, no matter what the situation.

17. Humility

You can learn something from everyone you meet. By maintaining a humble, teachable attitude, your children will maximize their personal growth.

18. Respect

As you show your children basic respect, they’ll learn to respect others. They’ll also learn to have a healthy respect for authority.

19. Laughter

Life is full of struggles, but there are also plenty of things to laugh about. Make your home a place of joy and laughter, and your children will have many wonderful family memories.

20. Self-control

Without self-control, your children won’t be able to keep their commitments or make progress toward their goals.

21. Affection

Children need physical affection from you, whether it’s a hug or a pat on the back.

22. Time

When you spend time with your children, they’ll see that they’re so important that you’re willing to make sacrifices just to be with them. The gift of time doesn’t cost anything, but it’s priceless.

23. Spirit of giving and sharing

Research shows that giving is better than receiving. Model for your children what it means to be generous with your resources and time.

24. Integrity

Strong relationships are vital for long-term happiness and success. The most important ingredient in any relationship is trust, and you can’t build trust if you don’t have integrity.

25. Safety

To maximize their potential, children need to feel safe and secure. They’ll only feel this way if they have a stable home environment. So if your home is full of tension and conflict, take steps to address the underlying issues right away.

26. Healthy living

Health is something we take for granted when we’re young, but age will eventually catch up with us. Teach your children the importance of healthy living by sleeping, eating, and exercising right as a family.

27. Positive thinking

I’m not talking about living in a fantasy world. I’m talking about teaching your children to see the opportunity and potential in every situation, no matter how bleak things might seem.

28. Unconditional support

We all have our low moments. That’s when we need encouragement and support to pick ourselves up and get back on the right path.

29. Serving others

A meaningful life is one which is focused on serving others and on making a difference in the lives of others.

30. Habits

The “small” things you do every day matter more than the “big” things you do once in a while. Your habits will make you or break you. Teach your children this truth, and help them to cultivate healthy habits.

31. Reflection

As Socrates once said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Reflection enables us to turn events into experiences, and to gain wisdom.

32. Forgiveness

Friends will betray you. Colleagues will gossip about you. And you’ll most definitely make mistakes. These are facts of life, so children must learn to forgive others freely – and themselves too.

33. Empathy

When you see things from the other person’s perspective, you won’t cast judgment prematurely. Set an example for your children by being understanding. As a result, they’ll become more caring and empathetic.

34. Resilience

Here’s one of my favorite quotes: “The only difference between a stumbling block and a stepping stone is how high you raise your foot.” The path to success is full of setbacks, so children need to develop the mental strength to deal with these setbacks.

35. Good manners

Being a polite, well-mannered person will never go out of style. Good manners also help to create a solid first impression.

36. Organizational skills

The older your children get, the busier they’re likely to become. Without organizational skills, they won’t be able to effectively manage their schedule and priorities.

37. Fun

Play is a crucial part of life, no matter what your age. Have fun as a family, and show your children that there are times when you shouldn’t take life too seriously.

38. Listening

This is a skill that few people master. By listening actively, you’ll build stronger relationships and develop empathy.

39. Dreams

Having dreams is an important part of leading a fulfilling life. So give your children the freedom to dream, and tell them about your dreams too. Not every dream will become a reality, but having dreams makes life more exciting.

40. Passion for learning

You don’t go to school to get an education; school is just one part of your education. Share with your children the things you’re learning, the books you’re reading, and the skills you’re developing. Your children will begin to see that learning isn’t mainly about passing exams. It’s about continually improving, so that you can make a bigger contribution to those around you.

41. Values

Many people make decisions based on pragmatism. But the ones who lead the most significant lives make decisions based on principles and values. Empower your children to lead a life of conviction, not convenience.

42. Choices

As children get older, they need to be given more choices and responsibilities. At the same time, they must learn that choices lead to consequences. Allow them to experience these consequences, so that they’ll make even better decisions down the road.

43. Hard work

Getting good grades requires hard work. Becoming a valuable employee requires hard work. Building strong relationships requires hard work. In other words, achieving anything worthwhile requires hard work. Teach your children the value of hard work, and show them that hard work is fun!

44. Vision

Vision is the starting point of all groundbreaking inventions, technologies, and businesses. To become visionary, children first need the freedom to explore their imagination.

45. Attention

When you’re with your children, put aside your newspapers and electronic devices, and be fully present. Children appreciate this more than you might think.

46. Freedom to fail

As Seth Godin once said, “If failure isn’t an option, then neither is real success.” As long as their well-being isn’t in danger, give your children the freedom to make mistakes and fail. This will help them to build courage and resilience.

47. People skills

Getting along with others is an invaluable life skill. Coach your children to ask good questions, empathize with others, and communicate effectively.

48. Ability to win and lose gracefully

Sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose. Regardless of the outcome, you should display grace, respect, and humility.

49. Knowing the difference between wants and needs

Understanding this difference will prevent your children from chasing after things they don’t need – and which won’t make them happy. As such, they’ll lead a simpler and more meaningful life.

50. Sense of destiny

My parents instilled in me and my siblings a sense of destiny, an understanding that we had a purpose to fulfill in life. As a result, I’d say that we’ve stayed relatively focused on doing things to serve others and make an impact. (Of course, my siblings and I are far from perfect!) I can only imagine how much emptier our lives would be if our parents hadn’t instilled in us this sense of destiny.

Conclusion

Unfortunately, you can’t buy these 50 gifts anywhere. You need to give these gifts to your children a little bit at a time, over the course of years.

This is a painstaking process, but your efforts will pay off. Your children will grow to be focused, disciplined, responsible, generous, and kind.

You have a huge part to play – I know you’re up to the challenge. 🙂

(If you haven’t already done so, make sure to download your free e-book below.)

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50 Life Lessons Every Parent Should Teach Their Children

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 13 Comments

Ever feel like parenting is the toughest job in the world?

Parenting involves plenty of hard work. What’s more, there are no guarantees.

No matter how much you love your children, no matter how much time you spend with them, no matter how “perfect” of a parent you are … you can’t guarantee that your children will become successful and happy.

Nonetheless, there are many valuable life lessons you can impart to your children.

As your children learn these lessons, they’re more likely to grow up to be confident, well-adjusted, contributing members of society.

I’ve come up with this list of 50 life lessons that every parent should teach their children.

It’s taken me my whole life to learn these lessons. So I’m passionate about sharing them with my son (and future children), as well as the students I work with.

(Don’t forget to download your free e-book below.)

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1. Success is more about contribution than it is about achievement.

2. Don’t worry too much about what other people think of you. They think about you a lot less than you imagine.

3. Focus on progress, not perfection.

4. Run your own race, not the race that other people expect you to run.

5. You cannot always choose your circumstances, but you can always choose your attitude.

6. School isn’t the place you go to get an education; school is just one part of your education. Be proactive in becoming a truly educated person.

7. Successful people do what other people aren’t willing to. Success is a mindset, not a goal to be attained.

8. You can’t win every time. So when you lose, do it gracefully.

9. You can learn something from everyone, no matter how “important” or “unimportant” the person may be.

10. Don’t blame others for your frustrations and disappointments. If you blame others, it means you haven’t taken full responsibility for your life.

11. Be generous. At the heart of it, living is about giving.

12. Watch as little TV as possible – preferably none at all. You’ll lead a more productive life this way.

13. Don’t multi-task. Do one thing at a time and you’ll be far more efficient.

14. Write down everything: your to-do list, your reflections, your goals, your dreams. As David Allen once said, “Your brain is a thinking tool, not a storage device.”

15. Don’t live with regret. Instead, focus on creating a better future for yourself and others.

16. Be a caring person. Care about your loved ones; care about your community; care about the world around you. Do this and your life will be fulfilling.

17. Try new things. Read new books, take up new hobbies, and eat new foods. These experiences will enrich your life.

18. Dare to fail. As Seth Godin once said, “If failure isn’t an option, then neither is real success.”

19. Life will disappoint you. Don’t give up.

20. Be willing to change. Changing yourself is one of the hardest things to do, but you can’t grow as a person if you’re not willing to change.

21. Celebrate often. Celebrate both the small and big things, and your life will be filled with joy.

22. Be intentional about spending time with people you respect and admire. Over time, you’ll become more like them.

23. Become an organized person. Being disorganized is one of the biggest causes of stress.

24. Don’t ever stop learning. The more you learn, the more you’ll appreciate the beauty of the world around you.

25. Get outside of your comfort zone on a daily basis. That’s the only way to grow.

26. Your habits will either make you or break you. Start building healthy habits today.

27. Show respect to every single person you meet. As J. K. Rowling once said, “If you want to see the true measure of a man, watch how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.”

28. Learn to appreciate both the good and the bad. After all, in life there will be plenty of both.

29. When you make a mistake, apologize. Humility is a rare but valuable trait.

30. Take care of your health, starting right now. Your future self will thank you.

31. Be kind to the people you care about the most. Many people do the opposite – they’re the least kind to the people they’re closest to.

32. You can’t be great at everything. Focus on doing a few things exceptionally well.

33. Invest in your most important relationships. This is an investment you’ll never regret.

34. Define success for yourself. Refuse to blindly accept society’s definition of success.

35. Be kind to yourself. Show yourself respect, and don’t beat yourself up over your imperfections.

36. Develop a positive attitude. Your attitude is the most important factor that leads to success and happiness.

37. Be thankful. No matter what you’re going through, there’s always something to be grateful for.

38. Lead a balanced life. Reflect on your life every few months. Ask yourself what changes you need to make in order to find more balance.

39. Be resourceful. When faced with a problem, remember that there’s always a website, a book, a course, or a friend you can turn to for help.

40. Become a person of integrity. Do what you say you’ll do, and people will trust you. Without trust, it’s impossible to build strong relationships.

41. Learn to manage your thoughts and emotions. How you respond to frustrations and disappointments will largely determine your success.

42. Set big goals, but break them down into small steps. This way, you won’t feel overwhelmed. It’s also more likely that you’ll take action.

43. Your character is more important than your accomplishments.

44. Focus on the process rather than the end result. If you do this, the end result will take care of itself.

45. Your decisions determine your destiny. Whatever life choices you’re faced with, choose wisely.

46. Passion isn’t found. It’s cultivated.

47. As a follow-up to #46, find a problem in the world that needs solving. Acquire the skills and knowledge required to solve that problem, then get to work. This is how passion is cultivated.

48. Money won’t make you happy, but without money you’ll be unhappy. Learn to spend wisely so that you can achieve financial independence as soon as possible.

49. Listen to your parents more than you feel like. Most of the time, they really do know better than you.

50. Happiness is a choice more than it is a feeling.

(If you haven’t already done so, make sure to download your free e-book below.)

FREE E-BOOK:

Get your FREE copy of

16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.

The e-book has already been downloaded by many thousands of parents, so don't miss out!

Are You Too Busy? 4 Ways To Slow Down

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 21 Comments

Too busy

Let me ask you three questions:

Do you often feel like your to-do list is never-ending?
Do you often sacrifice sleep to get things done?
Do you frequently complain about how busy you are?

If you answered “yes” to those questions, you’re busy – probably too busy.

But it doesn’t have to be like this.

The strange reason we ignore the most important things in life

In an era where we’re connected 24/7, the line between work and leisure has become blurred. Even on a Sunday afternoon, you could send that email. You could reply to that text. You could do something “productive.”

But should you?

I face this temptation every time I have a day off. The temptation is even greater because I enjoy my job so much!

And it’s not just me. Through my work with parents – many of whom are busy and stressed out – I know this is a widespread problem.

Author Charles Hummel once observed that the most important things in life are also the most well-mannered. They don’t scream for your attention. They don’t throw a tantrum to force you to take notice.

This explains why we often ignore the things that matter most. They’re just too polite.

In contrast, the urgent things are far less polite. That email from your boss, that phone call, that Facebook message – they’re calling out to you right now. You feel like you can’t ignore it, so you don’t.

That’s how we become busy, by allowing ourselves to be overwhelmed by the urgent.

But there’s a way out.

4 effective ways to stop being so busy

In this article, I’ll discuss four ways to slow down. These tips will enable you to focus on the important instead of the urgent. Ultimately, they’ll help you to build a happier, stronger family.

Here are the four tips:

1. Set clear boundaries.

For instance, you could set a non-negotiable rule that you’ll leave work by 7pm at least three days a week. On these three days, you’ll have dinner together as a family. You might also decide that you absolutely won’t check your work email on Sundays.

Here’s an example from my own life. I do talks and workshops internationally, so my rule is that I’ll never be out of town two weekends in a row.

Take a few minutes and think about some boundaries you could establish for yourself.

At this point, I can almost hear you saying, “Daniel, this sounds nice in theory. But my job requires me to work and travel all the time. I don’t have a choice!”

I sympathize with you, I really do. I used to have a corporate job where I worked long hours, and sometimes weekends too.

But I realize that we always have a choice, even if it doesn’t feel that way.

You could choose to learn more productivity hacks to increase your efficiency. You could choose to talk to your boss about alternative work arrangements. You could choose to look for a new job.

Easier said than done, I know.

But in life, solutions rarely exist. Life is all about tradeoffs.

Ask yourself what tradeoffs you’re currently making. Are you focusing on the urgent things, at the expense of the important things? If you are, it’s time to make adjustments.

2. Create a positive family culture.

This might sound like a tip that’s unrelated to overcoming busyness. So let me explain.

I’ve worked with many people who occupy themselves with all kinds of activities, just so they can avoid being at home.

If your spouse or children choose not to spend much time at home, it could be because your home environment isn’t a pleasant one.

Is your home overflowing with joy, positivity and peace? Or is it full of nagging, criticism and unkind words?

If it’s the latter, take a moment to evaluate your family culture. What’s good and not so good about it? What steps can you take to improve it?

Here are some suggestions:

Say at least one positive thing a day to each person in your family, even if it’s as simple as “have a good day”
Create a new family tradition
Set up an “appreciation board” in your home, where you write down things you’re thankful for
Have a monthly family board game night
Have a weekly family meeting
Develop a family mission statement

Every family member has a part to play in shaping family culture, so create a plan of action today.

As the family culture becomes more loving and supportive, I can close to guarantee that everyone in the family will choose to be less busy outside the home.

3. Stop defining yourself according to your achievements.

For many years, my self-worth was defined by how I performed in school and in my other activities. I was obsessed with doing and achieving more, which caused me to burn out.

As an 18-year-old, I was the vice-captain of the basketball team, and I had basketball practice five days a week. I was also in the Chemistry Olympiad training squad, and I was a member of the Science Research Society. In addition, I was taking three subjects on top of the regular course load, and I was preparing for the SATs.

As you can imagine, I was busy and tired. All the time.

But when I stopped defining myself according to my achievements, I became less busy and tired. And I became happier. I started to care less about my performance, and more about living out my purpose and serving others.

It’s easy to get carried away building our careers or businesses. Of course, we all need to earn a living and provide for our families.

But more than our provisions, our children need our presence.

We need to invest the time to teach and mentor our children, and simply be with them. Our children appreciate this quality time more than the comforts and luxuries we give them.

So if you feel like your identity is based on what you accomplish, take a few minutes to reflect. Ask yourself what your values are, and what matters most to you in the long run. Decide to invest your resources and your life in the things that are of enduring worth.

When you do that, you’ll become less busy.

4. Limit the number of activities your children participate in.

I know far too many families whose weekend routine revolves around chauffeuring their children to and from activities and classes.

Golf lessons. Art class. Music class. Math class. Science class. Tennis lessons. Ballet class. Piano class.

It requires a detailed spreadsheet just to keep track of all these activities!

Not only that, the parents don’t get to rest and recover over the weekend, as they’re constantly running from one place to the next.

Because their children’s lives are overscheduled, these families don’t spend much time together. Things are made even worse if either parent travels extensively for work.

Children benefit from being exposed to a variety of activities and experiences. But they also need time to read, reflect and dream.

How will they be able to do this when their schedules are jam-packed?

Based on my experiences working with students, I’ve found this to be a good guideline:

Children shouldn’t be involved in more than one sports-related activity and one music-/art-related activity. Anything more than this and children will soon become addicted to busyness – or overwhelmed by it.

And children who are addicted to busyness are likely to become adults who are addicted to busyness.

When our children become less busy, we’ll become less busy too.

The bottom line

Busyness is a fact of life.

There will be times when you’ll have a pressing deadline to meet, when you’ll need to work late, or give up sleep to get the job done.

But busyness shouldn’t be a way of life.

If you’re exhausted and stressed, week after week, month after month, year after year… then today’s the day to make a change. If you don’t, there will be long-term consequences for your physical and emotional well-being, and for your relationships too.

So choose one of the four tips and put it into practice. Then work through the other tips over the next few weeks. It won’t be easy, but it’ll be worth it. (I’m going to continue implementing the tips myself!)

After all, everyone outside the home is replaceable.

Not to downplay the importance of work, but CEOs, managers, engineers, designers, technicians and writers (including myself!) are replaceable. If you quit your job today, someone will take over your position tomorrow.

But that’s not the way a family functions.

Every member of the family is irreplaceable. So we must pull our own weight and be actively involved in the home.

Let’s remind ourselves of this as we seek to lead fruitful lives, not busy ones.

Let’s slow down and take the time to build meaningful lives and strong families.

With each other’s support, I know we can do it. 🙂

An earlier version of this article first appeared on Yahoo!.

(If you haven’t already done so, make sure to download your free e-book below.)

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16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.

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Image: To-do list

How To Be Excellent Without Being Exhausted

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 29 Comments

Rock climbing - Photo courtesy of Harsh1.0

It’s a struggle, isn’t it?

You want to give your best in your work, but you also want to invest in your relationships, hobbies, and personal growth. You want to pursue excellence in all areas of your life.

But it seems impossible to find the right balance.

Maybe you often need to work late to get the job done, which means that you’re forced to cancel dinner appointments with friends. Or you try to do it all and have it all but end up sacrificing sleep, which makes you feel constantly worn out.

It’s a daily dilemma that frustrates you. It eats away at your soul, just a little.

It makes you wonder if you’re living well, if you’re devoting your time and energy to the things that count.

Is this the way life was meant to be? If you pursue excellence, does that necessarily mean you’ll also be exhausted?

When my best wasn’t good enough

I’ve been wrestling with these thoughts over the past few years. As a husband and father who was working a full-time job (which I just left), running a business, trying to exercise regularly and eat healthily, and striving to fulfill my other responsibilities with both enthusiasm and commitment…

I was tired.

Physically tired, but emotionally too. I was giving my best, but I felt like my best wasn’t nearly good enough.

I was barely staying afloat on all fronts. I was surviving, not thriving.

Don’t get me wrong. Life was never supposed to be a walk in the park, because it’s in overcoming frustrations and challenges that life becomes meaningful.

As Howard Hendricks once remarked:

A man who complains that the coffee is too cold or the beer too warm is a man who thinks he is on a cruise ship.

Life isn’t a cruise to the Bahamas. I’ve learned that it’s hard, and sometimes painful, to even attempt to make a difference and create an impact.

Tiredness and stress are facts of life, but when they become a way of life, it’s time to reexamine the way we make decisions.

It’s a bad idea to give your best in everything you do

When you were growing up, your parents might have said things to you like:

“How you do anything is how you do everything.”
“Anything worth doing is worth doing well.”
“You become what you do.”
“It’s more important to do your best than to be the best.”

These are all good sayings. I agree that we should establish excellence as both a habit and a prevailing attitude, but I’ve realized that it’s impossible to be excellent at everything.

I’ve tried, and it left me confused and discouraged.

In the past, I was obsessed about excellence. I even wanted to be an excellent text messager. I never used any short forms or abbreviations in my texts, and I would proofread every text twice before sending it.

I know that sounds like compulsive behavior, but I just wanted to be excellent at everything I did! (Nowadays, I use plenty of abbreviations and I don’t proofread my texts unless there’s potential for confusion. 🙂 )

I adopted this approach toward my assignments, projects, emails, physical health, relationships and business. And it worked, until the number of my responsibilities—none of which I could defer or delegate—increased to the point where I had no choice but to consider an alternative.

I no longer believe in the give-your-best-in-every-single-thing-you-do type of excellence, because this can lead to an unsustainable preoccupation with perfection.

I’ve been there, done that.

If you’re in a situation where you have three big assignments due the following day, 100 unread emails in your inbox, a family member who’s ill whom you need to take care of, and you feel like you’re falling sick yourself, you know what I mean.

Two steps to help you spend your time wisely

That’s why I advocate selective excellence.

You can’t just decide to be excellent; you need to decide specifically what you want to be excellent at.

Here’s a simple two-step system I recommend that will enable you to focus your efforts and energy on the tasks worth doing excellently:

1. Write down every task you typically spend more than 15 minutes on each day.

This could include things like replying to emails, attending class or meetings, filing documents, doing household chores, and preparing meals.

Can you eliminate or delegate any of these tasks? If yes, then do it. The remaining items on the list should all be important tasks that you can’t not do.

2. For tasks that you can’t eliminate or delegate, categorize them into A, B or C tasks.

This categorization is based on the likely impact of the task. Ask yourself: In one year’s time, will it matter how much effort I devote to this task today?

If the answer is “yes,” then it’s an A task.

If the answer is “probably,” then it’s a B task.

And if the answer is “probably not,” then it’s a C task.

Of course, there are bound to be gray areas. I recommend that, by default, you place the task in question in the lower category, e.g. if you’re not sure if it’s an A or B task, label it as a B task. The fact that you’re in a dilemma about whether it’s an A or B task shows that it’s probably not that critical.

A tasks require your undivided attention. Work on these tasks first every day, and don’t multitask while you’re at it. Prioritize A tasks by blocking out specific parts of your calendar to complete them. In the long term, A tasks are the ones that will define your education, career, relationships and life, so do them excellently.

B tasks are important but not critical. These tasks can’t be neglected, but they don’t call for an “excellent” effort, because “good enough” will do without compromising on the end result. Work on B tasks only when you’re done with the A tasks for the day.

C tasks are routine tasks that aren’t of lasting consequence. Complete these tasks as quickly as you can while maintaining a reasonable level of accuracy and meticulousness. Schedule C tasks for times when your energy levels are lower.

To give you an idea of what tasks might fall into each of the three categories, here are some of my A, B and C tasks:

A tasks – Writing a new blog post, preparing for a talk, planning for the coming year, spending time with family
B tasks – Replying to (most) emails, scheduling meetings
C tasks – Household chores (I promise I don’t do a shoddy job of these just because they’re C tasks!), filing documents, keeping track of expenses, placing emails in the right folders

The ABC framework will help you to pursue excellence in a focused, and even ruthless, way.

Excellence without exhaustion is achievable

Over to you: Are you spending too much time on non-A tasks? And are there any areas where you need to readjust your priorities?

For most people, absolute excellence—where you try to do your best in everything—leads to exhaustion.

Selective excellence is the only alternative that works. It isn’t a copout or a compromise. It’s a conscious choice to determine what matters most, and to invest wholeheartedly in those things.

So let’s not just be excellent. Let’s be extremely excellent at the things that are extremely important. 🙂

Image: Rock climbing

On Rejection, Disappointment, And Living Courageously

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong

Rejection

I fearfully opened the email.

It read:

“Dear Daniel, I regret to inform you that we’re not interested in your manuscript. Best of luck finding a suitable publisher.”

I’d been rejected. Again.

I sighed. This feeling was becoming much too familiar.

At least this publisher bothered to take a minute to write me a reply, I thought. Better than the dozens of other publishers who hadn’t even shown me that courtesy.

I had already submitted my manuscript to so many publishers and agents that I’d lost count.

I was on the brink of giving up. A wannabe author can only take so much rejection, right?

My great idea that nobody liked

Months earlier, I’d developed the concept for the book. Its title would be The Happy Student: 5 Steps to Academic Fulfillment and Success.

I had it all planned out.

Not your typical self-help or how-to book, The Happy Student wouldn’t just hype readers up or make them experience a temporary surge of motivation.

Instead, it would empower them to find enduring success and fulfillment. It wouldn’t merely be an inspirational book; it would equip readers with the precious life skills that young adults need to thrive.

The Happy Student would be based on my personal experiences.

16 years of being a straight-A but mostly unhappy student, 16 years of constant questioning what the purpose of education is, 16 years of wisdom and insight… all compiled into an easy-to-read manual of life.

A book written by a student, for students.

“Happy and successful”—that would be the book’s catchphrase.

Doesn’t this all sound fantastic? It did to me, at least.

The Happy Student would impact readers around the world. It would be on all the bestseller lists.

Students and parents would flock to bookstores to get their copy. It would be the start of a global “happy” revolution.

And with the royalty payments I would receive, I’d be set for life.

Or so I imagined.

Dealing with discouragement and disappointment

But I couldn’t even get a single agent or publisher to take a second look at—much less like or love—my manuscript.

A far cry from being an international bestseller!

It wasn’t just the rejections from publishers and agents that left me feeling discouraged.

Some of my friends’ remarks were discouraging too:

“Come on, Daniel. Who gets a book published when they’re 20-something years old?”
“Maybe you should wait until you have more credibility before you approach publishers and agents.”
“You know, people who write books on education usually have a PhD in psychology or education.”

I don’t blame my friends.

They weren’t trying to be negative or nasty. They were just being realistic.

Discouraging friends. Discouraging publishers. Discouraging agents.

I had no idea that trying to get a book published would make me feel so hopeless!

How to write a (moderately) successful book

Fast forward one and a half years.

The Happy Student has sold thousands of copies, and it comes in both an International and Asian edition.

I’d call it a moderate success.

It’s not quite—and has never been—a top-ranked Amazon book. Neither can I choose to retire now and just live off my royalty payments.

So some of the dreams I mentioned earlier have come true, but not all of them.

I’ve learned not to find satisfaction in my status as a “published author.”

Instead, my greatest reward comes every time readers tell me that The Happy Student has inspired and empowered them to pursue excellence, that it has changed their outlook on life in some way.

That’s what makes it all worth it.

Today, when people say things to me like “What an achievement that you’re already a published author!” or “You’re an impressive young man,” I shrug off the comments.

My long list of fears

To me, I’m just a normal guy who had a normal dream. A normal dream that made me afraid.

Afraid of rejection. Afraid of what others would think of me. Afraid of disappointing myself. Afraid of failure.

Through the book-writing experience, I’ve learned that there’s no such thing as being fearless. Everyone has fears. I, for one, have plenty of them.

I’ll confess that it even took me a while to get over the fear of writing this post.

As someone who aspires to always be tough, strong and steadfast, it’s not natural for me to put myself out there through my writing.

The thought of allowing myself to be vulnerable… it makes me uncomfortable. Terrified, even.

So I’m writing this post in the hope that it will encourage you to do what you already know you ought to.

If that’s you, you know who you are.

I hope this post is that push you need to take on that project, start that business, nurture that relationship, or have that conversation.

After all, courage isn’t the absence of fear; it’s the willingness to confront fear.

And the only way you’ll be willing to confront your fears is to get beyond yourself, to see that conquering your fears is really about benefiting others.

Sure, facing your fears will benefit you by making you a bigger person, but your example will also give someone else the courage to face their fears.

Living without regret

Going back to my publishing story, I eventually got in touch with an agent who was interested in my book project, but not interested enough to take me on board as her client.

But she generously connected me with David Hancock, CEO of Morgan James Publishing, the firm that eventually published The Happy Student.

The rest is history.

Would I have regretted it if I’d put in all that effort to try and get the book published, but no publisher ever accepted the manuscript?

If you’d asked me that question before I embarked on the project, I would’ve said “yes.”

Ask me now, and I’ll reply, “Not at all.”

This change in perspective happened because I realize it’s far more likely that you’ll regret the things you don’t try at all, rather than the things you try and fail at.

How to live courageously

The courage to try and fail—that’s something that needs to be cultivated. You don’t wake up one day and suddenly find that you’ve had a big bravery boost.

The easiest way to build courage is to continually get beyond yourself.

Stop asking “What’s in it for me?”, and start asking “How will this add value to someone else?”

Stop asking “What will people think of me if I fail?”. Stop caring what people think and start asking “How many lives will I fail to make a difference to if I don’t at least try?”

Courage isn’t about focusing on yourself and your fears and your challenges.

It’s about focusing on others.

No matter what your dream is, I’m sure it will take courage for you to realize it.

Think about others, and I know you’ll find all the courage you’ll need.

So take the next step. The world is counting on you. 🙂

Want a More Exciting Life? The One Mindset Change You Need to Make

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong

skydiving

Ever wonder how some people manage to always be so full of enthusiasm and excitement?

They’re continually working on new projects and coming up with innovative ideas.

Whatever they do, they do it with passion. It seems like they’re on a perpetual mission to change the world.

Maybe you feel like you’re on the other end of the spectrum.

Shouldn’t life be more exciting?

Most of the time, life is a struggle. There are so many mundane things you have to do, so many obligations you have to fulfill.

You’re overwhelmed by all the stress and problems you face.

It’s not that you don’t have your happy moments.

When you’re hanging out with your friends or watching your favorite TV show or listening to music… life seems a little bit better.

But those moments feel like a temporary escape from the rest of your uninteresting life.

You really wish your life were more thrilling, more filled with a sense of adventure. But you just don’t know how to get out of the rut you’re in.

How to make stepping stones out of stumbling blocks

People who lead inspired lives and people who lead thoroughly uninspired ones—the cards they’re dealt in life are usually fairly alike.

It’s what they do with those cards they’re dealt that makes the difference.

Clichéd, I know. But it’s true.

As author Jack Penn once said, “One of the secrets of life is to make stepping stones out of stumbling blocks.”

It all starts with your mindset.

There are basically two approaches you can have. You can either choose to:

Protect life, or
Pursue it

Mindset #1: Protecting life

When you try to protect life, you operate from a place of fear.

Fear is a natural response to life in general. After all, there are an infinite number of bad things that could happen to you!

Many companies prey on our desire for protection.

Protection from death.

Protection from disease.

Protection from discomfort.

That’s why companies that sell insurance, make seat belts, produce vaccines and mosquito nets, and manufacture air conditioning units are profitable.

I’m not saying that these products are bad. I, for one, can’t think of anything better than enjoying some air conditioning on a sweltering day.

But if your prevailing thought is about how you ought to protect your life, then you’re never going to have a meaningful and exciting one.

Mindset #2: Pursuing life

People who lead a life of purpose have come to the realization that death is an inescapable reality.

They have fully come to terms with their mortality.

This explains why they’re constantly on a mission.

They’re not just here on earth to find something to do. They’re here on earth to do something.

When you pursue life, you don’t sit around and wait for things to happen. Instead, you make things happen.

You have a strong bias for action, even when you’re not 100% sure what the best thing to do is.

You recognize that a little action trumps a lot of thinking, every time.

Even when it comes to areas of your life such as relationships, you take the initiative to cultivate strong ones.

You don’t just go with the flow and hope that you’ll end up with good relationships.

3 simple ways to find happiness

It’s interesting to note that in happiness surveys conducted all around the world, the three basic factors that contribute most to happiness are the same:

Good relationships
Good health
Satisfying work

When you boil it down to these three elements, it doesn’t seem like happiness should be that hard to find, right?

Being happy shouldn’t be our only goal, but you’ll probably agree with me that it is an important one.

When you choose to pursue life, instead of protect it, there’s no doubt that you’ll make plenty of progress in terms of your relationships, health and work.

Building strong relationships, being physically healthy, and choosing to do meaningful work—these are areas we have a lot of control over.

It just requires that we take full responsibility for our lives and intentionally make choices that are in line with what we want in the long term.

In closing…

The desire to protect life is what’s natural to us.

But what’s necessary, if we want to leave behind a marvelous legacy, is to pursue life.

It’s clear that winners focus on winning.

But losers don’t focus on losing, obviously. Rather, they focus on getting by, on merely surviving.

Losers protect life. Winners pursue it.

Experiencing a life of adventure—and finding long-lasting happiness, too—isn’t a matter of chance. It’s a matter of choice.

Let’s choose wisely.

Too Young to Make a Choice, Too Old to Make a Change?

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong

puppy stuck in tree

Your parents love you a lot.

That’s why, when you were growing up, they probably made a lot of decisions for you:

What clothes you wore
Which schools you attended
What kind of sports and activities you participated in
Which friends you hung out with
Which toys you played with
Which TV shows you watched
What time you went to bed

As a kid, you naturally gave in to what your parents wanted you to do.

After all, they knew what was best for you.

(In this other article I wrote, I challenge the idea that parents want what’s best for their children. Most of the time, they only want what’s good.)

Feeling “stuck” when you’re young

I don’t doubt that parents have excellent intentions when they make choices on their children’s behalf.

But, very often, this is the message that gets communicated to their children:

“You’re too young to make a choice. You’re naïve and foolish, so I’ll make the choice for you.”

Many children grow up believing this message well into their late teens and early 20s. This is a problem.

At the end of the day, all of us need to take full responsibility for our lives. No matter how terrible or overbearing our parents are, we should never blame them for the way our lives turn out.

I don’t deny, however, that our parents have a huge impact on our lives.

The older you get, the more of your own choices you get to make, but many parents still act as if they should always have the final say.

Feeling “stuck” when you’re old

Some time in your late teens or early 20s, you start your first full-time job. You begin taking on a variety of responsibilities: financial, social, family.

Up until that point in your life, you might have felt like you were too young to make a choice.

With all these responsibilities and “adult” things to deal with, you experience a sharp transition.

You’re now too old to make a change.

“I can’t quit my job. If I do, what will happen to my mortgage payments?”

“If I start my own business and fail, how will I provide for my family?”

“If I don’t go down the ‘safe’ path, what will other people think of me? What will my parents think of me?”

Four beliefs to embrace if you want to get “unstuck”

This is a frustrating, painful and helpless situation that many young adults find themselves in.

There’s a way out, but it requires you to embrace these four beliefs:

1. If you want to find happiness and fulfillment, you must run your own race.

Many of us try to run the race that other people want us to run. If we do that, we effectively place our long-term happiness in another person’s keeping.

Clearly, not a good idea.

Running your own race means that you’re only competing against yourself, not against other people.

2. Being a winner isn’t about finishing first. It’s about finishing well.

I’m sure you’ll agree with me that how you finish matters more than how you start.

That’s true in any sort of race or competition, and it’s also true in life.

But being a real winner—one who experiences enduring success—isn’t about finishing first. It’s about finishing well and finishing strong.

It’s about leading a meaningful life that you can be proud of.

It’s about making a difference in the lives of others.

When you understand this, it won’t be so difficult to make changes later on in your life, because you won’t be overly concerned about getting “left behind” if your decisions don’t work out.

3. You’re never too old to dream a new dream.

Neither are you too old to set a new goal.

You won’t achieve every one of your goals, and you won’t realize every one of your dreams.

But joy and meaning are found in the pursuit—and not the attainment—of purposeful goals and dreams.

It’s an unfortunate fact that dreams do die. Choose to walk away from the disappointment and dream a new dream.

4. Being “stuck” isn’t a feeling. It’s a choice.

If you feel “stuck” but aren’t willing to take action to improve your situation, then you’ve chosen to be stuck.

When you start asking “How can I?” instead of “Can I?” you’ll begin to see that there’s always something you can do. There’s always a way out.

The solution may not be immediate, and it may not be easy. But it’s there for you to choose. So choose bravely and wisely.

In closing…

Contrary to how many of us feel as we mature from childhood to adulthood, we’re never too young to make a choice, and we’re never too old to make a change.

Life is too short and too full of wondrous potential for us to feel stuck.

Today, let’s make a choice and make a change.

(This post was inspired by Veronika Decides to Die by Paulo Coelho.)