Perspective Archives - Page 2 of 3

50 Life Lessons Every Parent Should Teach Their Children

Updated on December 17, 2020 By Daniel Wong 13 Comments

Ever feel like parenting is the toughest job in the world?

Parenting involves plenty of hard work. What’s more, there are no guarantees.

No matter how much you love your children, no matter how much time you spend with them, no matter how “perfect” of a parent you are … you can’t guarantee that your children will become successful and happy.

Nonetheless, there are many valuable life lessons you can impart to your children.

As your children learn these lessons, they’re more likely to grow up to be confident, well-adjusted, contributing members of society.

I’ve come up with this list of 50 life lessons that every parent should teach their children.

It’s taken me my whole life to learn these lessons. So I’m passionate about sharing them with my son (and future children), as well as the students I work with.

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1. Success is more about contribution than it is about achievement.

2. Don’t worry too much about what other people think of you. They think about you a lot less than you imagine.

3. Focus on progress, not perfection.

4. Run your own race, not the race that other people expect you to run.

5. You cannot always choose your circumstances, but you can always choose your attitude. [Read more…]

Are You Too Busy? 4 Ways To Slow Down

Updated on May 7, 2020 By Daniel Wong 21 Comments

Let me ask you three questions:

Do you often feel like your to-do list is never-ending?
Do you often sacrifice sleep to get things done?
Do you frequently complain about how busy you are?

If you answered “yes” to those questions, you’re busy – probably too busy.

But it doesn’t have to be like this.

The strange reason we ignore the most important things in life

In an era where we’re connected 24/7, the line between work and leisure has become blurred. Even on a Sunday afternoon, you could send that email. You could reply to that text. You could do something “productive.”

But should you?

I face this temptation every time I have a day off. The temptation is even greater because I enjoy my job so much!

And it’s not just me. Through my work with parents – many of whom are busy and stressed out – I know this is a widespread problem.

Author Charles Hummel once observed that the most important things in life are also the most well-mannered. They don’t scream for your attention. They don’t throw a tantrum to force you to take notice.

This explains why we often ignore the things that matter most. They’re just too polite.

In contrast, the urgent things are far less polite. That email from your boss, that phone call, that Facebook message – they’re calling out to you right now. You feel like you can’t ignore it, so you don’t.

That’s how we become busy, by allowing ourselves to be overwhelmed by the urgent.

But there’s a way out. [Read more…]

How To Be Excellent Without Being Exhausted

Updated on June 17, 2020 By Daniel Wong 29 Comments

It’s a struggle, isn’t it?

You want to give your best in your work, but you also want to invest in your relationships, hobbies, and personal growth. You want to pursue excellence in all areas of your life.

But it seems impossible to find the right balance.

Maybe you often need to work late to get the job done, which means that you’re forced to cancel dinner appointments with friends. Or you try to do it all and have it all but end up sacrificing sleep, which makes you feel constantly worn out.

It’s a daily dilemma that frustrates you. It eats away at your soul, just a little.

It makes you wonder if you’re living well, if you’re devoting your time and energy to the things that count.

Is this the way life was meant to be? If you pursue excellence, does that necessarily mean you’ll also be exhausted?

When my best wasn’t good enough

I’ve been wrestling with these thoughts over the past few years. As a husband and father who was working a full-time job (which I just left), running a business, trying to exercise regularly and eat healthily, and striving to fulfill my other responsibilities with both enthusiasm and commitment…

I was tired.

Physically tired, but emotionally too. I was giving my best, but I felt like my best wasn’t nearly good enough.

I was barely staying afloat on all fronts. I was surviving, not thriving.

Don’t get me wrong. Life was never supposed to be a walk in the park, because it’s in overcoming frustrations and challenges that life becomes meaningful.

As Howard Hendricks once remarked:

A man who complains that the coffee is too cold or the beer too warm is a man who thinks he is on a cruise ship.

Life isn’t a cruise to the Bahamas. I’ve learned that it’s hard, and sometimes painful, to even attempt to make a difference and create an impact.

Tiredness and stress are facts of life, but when they become a way of life, it’s time to reexamine the way we make decisions.

It’s a bad idea to give your best in everything you do

When you were growing up, your parents might have said things to you like:

“How you do anything is how you do everything.”
“Anything worth doing is worth doing well.”
“You become what you do.”
“It’s more important to do your best than to be the best.”

These are all good sayings. I agree that we should establish excellence as both a habit and a prevailing attitude, but I’ve realized that it’s impossible to be excellent at everything.

I’ve tried, and it left me confused and discouraged.

[Read more…]

On Rejection, Disappointment, And Living Courageously

Updated on October 8, 2021 By Daniel Wong

I fearfully opened the email.

It read:

“Dear Daniel, I regret to inform you that we’re not interested in your manuscript. Best of luck finding a suitable publisher.”

I’d been rejected. Again.

I sighed. This feeling was becoming much too familiar.

At least this publisher bothered to take a minute to write me a reply, I thought. Better than the dozens of other publishers who hadn’t even shown me that courtesy.

I had already submitted my manuscript to so many publishers and agents that I’d lost count.

I was on the brink of giving up. A wannabe author can only take so much rejection, right?

My great idea that nobody liked

Months earlier, I’d developed the concept for the book. Its title would be The Happy Student: 5 Steps to Academic Fulfillment and Success.

I had it all planned out.

[Read more…]

Want a More Exciting Life? The One Mindset Change You Need to Make

Updated on August 10, 2021 By Daniel Wong

Ever wonder how some people manage to always be so full of enthusiasm and excitement?

They’re continually working on new projects and coming up with innovative ideas.

Whatever they do, they do it with passion. It seems like they’re on a perpetual mission to change the world.

Maybe you feel like you’re on the other end of the spectrum.

Shouldn’t life be more exciting?

Most of the time, life is a struggle. There are so many mundane things you have to do, so many obligations you have to fulfill.

You’re overwhelmed by all the stress and problems you face.

It’s not that you don’t have your happy moments.

When you’re hanging out with your friends or watching your favorite TV show or listening to music… life seems a little bit better.

But those moments feel like a temporary escape from the rest of your uninteresting life.

[Read more…]

Too Young to Make a Choice, Too Old to Make a Change?

Updated on August 11, 2021 By Daniel Wong

Your parents love you a lot.

That’s why, when you were growing up, they probably made a lot of decisions for you:

What clothes you wore
Which schools you attended
What kind of sports and activities you participated in
Which friends you hung out with
Which toys you played with
Which TV shows you watched
What time you went to bed

As a kid, you naturally gave in to what your parents wanted you to do.

After all, they knew what was best for you.

(In this other article I wrote, I challenge the idea that parents want what’s best for their children. Most of the time, they only want what’s good.)

Feeling “stuck” when you’re young

I don’t doubt that parents have excellent intentions when they make choices on their children’s behalf.

But, very often, this is the message that gets communicated to their children:

“You’re too young to make a choice. You’re naïve and foolish, so I’ll make the choice for you.”

Many children grow up believing this message well into their late teens and early 20s. This is a problem.

[Read more…]

How To Care Enough To Change The World

Updated on June 3, 2021 By Daniel Wong

A few years ago, I had the privilege of attending a talk by this incredible woman, Marian Wright Edelman.

Children’s rights activist, Marian Wright Edelman

Edelman is the founder and president of the Children’s Defense Fund, and she’s been awarded more than 65 (yes, 65!) honorary degrees. She was also the first black woman to be admitted to the Mississippi bar.

To say that she’s an impressive woman is an understatement!

The way that Edelman concluded her speech was exceptionally memorable.

“I cannot preach like Martin Luther King, Jr. or turn a poetic phrase like Maya Angelou…”

She proceeded to list a large number of distinguished people, and the characteristics they possessed that she did not.

What you can achieve when you care enough

Edelman went on to say:

“But I care and am willing to serve and raise my voice with others for children… I care and am willing to serve and sacrifice to build our children a better future.

“I care. I really, really care. You can change the world if you care enough.”

You can change the world if you care enough.

If that statement is true (I like to think that it is), it’s no surprise that a lot of advice you hear from career development gurus revolves around pursuing a line of work you care deeply about.

It’s entirely true that in today’s Information Age, it’s no longer enough just to be compliant, competent or even charismatic. You need to care.