How to Raise a Confident Child: 15 Tips for Parents

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 18 Comments

If you’re wondering how to raise a confident child, you’re not alone.

Parents often tell me they’re concerned about their children’s lack of confidence and how it will affect their future.

I know it’s painful to see your children struggling with self-esteem. They may shy away from challenges, dislike studying, or lack the courage to try new things.

You just want your children to be happy and successful — to chase their dreams and live meaningful, fulfilled lives.

So, you want to raise a confident child, but where do you start?

Remember this…

Confidence is a skill. Like any skill, there are specific steps your child can take to build confidence.

Plus, there are ways that you, as a parent, can help.

In this article, I’ll walk you through 15 ways to help your child develop confidence. If you apply the tips, you’ll start to see your child’s self-assurance grow.

Let’s get started!

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What causes low self-esteem in a child?

Before we discuss how to raise a confident child, it’s important to understand the potential causes of low self-esteem.

Most children will experience dips in self-confidence from time to time.

Is your child attending a new school?

Did your child move to a different city?

Each time children experience changes, their confidence is put to the test. They must learn how to grow outside their comfort zones. When they navigate these challenges successfully, their confidence develops.

Sometimes, though, children struggle to overcome difficulties and external pressures. Negative messages stick. Issues at home and school become more challenging to manage.

This is when low self-esteem sneaks up, and smart kids might end up getting bad grades. Children might begin to believe they aren’t “good enough”.

When we know what causes low self-esteem, we can help our children overcome it.

Here are a few potential explanations:

Comparing themselves to others

She’s so pretty. He’s so smart. Her life is perfect.

Is your child doing too much comparing? And is it helping or hindering your child’s growth?

Too much social comparison can cause children to feel inferior — as if they’ll never be as good as those around them.

Plus, in our age of information overload, children are bombarded with messages every time they look at their phones. Flawlessly curated social media feeds can lead to a “perfect storm of self-doubt”.

Increasing performance pressure

As children progress in school, performance pressure increases, too.

There are more tests, more extracurricular activities, more group projects, and more homework assignments.

Many kids feel like they can’t drop a single ball — even though they’re still learning to handle the mounting responsibilities.

If you want to learn how to raise a confident child, prioritise the process over the outcome. This is a big topic, so we’ll explore process-oriented praise in more detail below.

Perceived disapproval

Most children don’t want to disappoint their parents or teachers. Now, I know some of you with teenagers might find that hard to believe! But it’s true.

Even adolescents seek approval from authority figures. When teenagers believe they’re continually disappointing the adults they respect, their self-esteem suffers.

How important is confidence as your children are growing up?

How essential is it to learn how to raise a confident child?

According to psychologist Carl Pickhardt, it might be one of the greatest gifts you can give your child.

When children lack confidence, they’re reluctant to try new things. They’re scared of failing and disappointing others.

“The enemies of confidence are discouragement and fear,” Pickhardt says. “So, as a parent, it’s your job to encourage and support your children as they attempt to tackle difficult tasks.”

Confident children know that failure is okay, so long as they learn from their mistakes and try again. They build resilience and, ultimately, make strides towards their academic goals and beyond.

It’s okay if your child struggles with self-confidence. We’re not trying to “fix” self-esteem issues but rather provide tools that allow your child to face new challenges and opportunities.

15 tips to build confidence in your kids

Now that we’ve discussed a few causes of low self-esteem and why self-esteem matters, here are my top 15 tips for how to raise a confident child.

1. Give them responsibilities

One easy way to foster self-confidence in children is to give them responsibilities. Try essential but straightforward tasks, things like helping you cook dinner or taking care of a younger sibling.

Children thrive when they have a role to play — when they know they are an integral part of the family.

Research by Dr. Marty Rossmann shows that children who help out with household chores do better in school and are more empathetic and caring.

Give your children jobs to take care of regularly, and they’ll become dependable, conscientious, and confident.

2. Share your own struggles with them

Everyone makes mistakes. As adults, we know this. But our kids are still learning.

You can help your children understand that it’s normal to face challenges by sharing your difficulties with them.

Tell your kids about your problems at work or with your friendships. Let them know about the difficulties you face and, more importantly, what you’re doing to overcome these challenges.

Your children will begin to realise it’s okay to be vulnerable and that problems are not signs of weakness.

Brené Brown, acclaimed author and esteemed professor, says it best:

“Through my research, I found that vulnerability is the glue that holds relationships together. It’s the magic sauce.”

Your children’s confidence will improve when they hear about your challenges. They’ll accept challenges as a normal part of life and know that nothing worth doing comes easily.

3. Ask them for their opinion

When you ask others about their opinions, you’re letting them know you care about their thoughts and feelings.

So, if you want to learn how to raise a confident child, ask your kids for their opinions so they feel valued and respected.

Involve your children in reviewing their bedtimes, setting family rules, or deciding what’s for dinner. If you need to solve a problem, ask your kids for ideas! You might be surprised at how insightful they are, and how good they are at coming up with solutions.

When you ask your children for their opinions, they’ll start to feel like they’re not just a child or a teenager. They’ll believe they have the power to make an impact in the world around them.

4. Focus on the process, not the end result

Life isn’t about pursuing perfection. Instead, it’s about making progress.

We’re all continually learning new life skills. Success doesn’t mean getting things right the first time around. It’s about putting in the effort to show up day after day. To keep getting better, little by little.

It takes stamina, endurance, and tenacity to chase our goals and confront challenges head-on.

So, when you praise your children, focus on the process — not the outcome. Encourage your children by acknowledging the hard work that went into getting good grades and making various improvements.

Your children will learn it’s okay to make mistakes as they continue to grow their confidence.

5. Don’t rescue them

It’s never easy to see our children experience hardships or difficulties. But resist the urge to rescue them. It might make life easier in the short term, but it can create dependency issues later on.

The problem is this…

Rescuing your children from their struggles is like doing their homework for them. Your kids won’t learn the valuable life skills they need — traits like resourcefulness and persistence.

Instead, support and encourage your children to become responsible teenagers. Help them find strategies to solve their problems, but don’t do everything for them.

6. Ensure that the challenges are appropriate for their ability

Help your children become more confident by giving them achievable goals. It’s okay to stretch them a bit, but ensure the task is manageable.

Think about a two-year-old. You wouldn’t give a toddler a pair of shoes with laces and expect him or her to be able to tie them. Even with practice, a two-year-old doesn’t have the necessary fine motor skills. The task isn’t a good match for their abilities.

Here’s what I’ve learned from working with countless children and teenagers:

If the child succeeds about two-thirds of the time, it’s an appropriate challenge. Any less than that, the task is probably too hard.

7. Show respect to everyone

Children are constantly observing and learning from adults. They’ll treat people the way you do, so be kind.

If you show respect to others, regardless of income, social status, or body size, then your children will learn to do the same.

Model the behaviour you want to see in your children. Be intentional about demonstrating that character matters more than looks or popularity. Your children will learn that self-worth does not depend on external factors. And while they’re respecting others, they’ll learn to respect themselves more, too.

8. Become a more confident person yourself

Since your children are always observing you, let them see that you’re confident in your abilities.

Value positive self-talk. If your children hear you say you’re not good enough or that you can’t take on new challenges, they’ll start to adopt this mindset as well.

Instead, demonstrate that you’re willing to go outside your comfort zone.

Maybe you have a presentation at work, but you’re nervous about public speaking. That’s okay. Tell your children you’re a bit fearful. Then, let them see you face those fears.

You can also use Tip #3 here by asking for your children’s advice. How would they deal with the challenge of public speaking? What do they do to calm their nerves when they feel anxious?

Your children will start to learn that confidence is a skill, and you’ll grow together as a family.

9. Allow them to make choices

Many children have little control over their lives. We tell them what time to wake up, what to wear, what to eat, and how to schedule their days.

Here’s the problem…

Everyone feels powerless when they’re not able to make their own decisions.

When you give your children choices, they learn how to take responsibility for their actions and grow into confident adults.

Give your children choices in the day-to-day aspects of their lives. It can be as small a decision as choosing if they prefer a bath or a shower. It could be deciding what time of day they’d like to complete their homework, or which new test-taking strategies to learn.

These little choices add up to improve their self-esteem.

10. Show interest in the things they’re passionate about

Does your child want to spend hours writing stories, drawing, or creating YouTube videos?

What might look like a waste of time to us can be an important activity to our children.

Yes, children need boundaries. But they also need encouragement to pursue their passions.

Show an interest in their hobbies. Maybe even try out a few for yourself! Your children will understand they matter and that your love for them is unconditional — not performance-based.

11. Celebrate small victories

Celebrating achievements and small victories makes us feel good. We realise how far we’ve come, and we feel inspired to take on challenges in the future.

When your children make progress or overcome a fear, celebrate with them. The best celebrations involve doing something together as a family, like having a picnic or going to the park.

On a daily basis, make an effort to say positive things to your children. This will motivate them to do better in all aspects of their lives.

Celebrate your achievements, too, so your children acknowledge your progress and learn from your victories.

12. Manage your own anxiety

When you’re anxious, your children become anxious — and this affects their confidence and mental health.

If you’re worried, analyse your concerns and identify which ones are rational and which ones aren’t. Then, make a plan to deal with your worries.

Managing your anxiety helps reduce your children’s stress. Plus, you’ll set a good example and they’ll learn how to deal with worries the same way you do. Demonstrate that you can remain calm, and your children will develop this skill too.

13. Acknowledge their disappointment

Let’s face it: life is full of disappointments. You can’t shield your children from the discouragement they’ll feel at times.

Acknowledge that everyone has bad days. Let your children know it’s okay to feel sad, and that these feelings aren’t “wrong” or “bad”.

Don’t dismiss your child’s feelings. Instead, help them work through those feelings. Be patient, and remind your child that life is about developing perseverance and mental strength.

Once they’ve processed their negative feelings, your children will realise they’ve grown stronger and become resilient students.

14. Help them to look outside themselves

Children and teenagers who struggle with self-confidence tend to fixate on themselves.

They’re so focused on their problems and their flaws that they forget to develop gratitude. Help your children look outside themselves and see the bigger picture.

After all, everyone has obligations, responsibilities, and commitments. Help your children empathise with those around them.

Once they understand that life is about making a difference in the world and helping others, their mindset will shift. They’ll spend more time thinking about how they can contribute and less time on their insecurities.

As a result, your child’s problems won’t seem so overwhelming.

15. Do things with them, not for them

From as early an age as possible, encourage your children to do things independently. Try giving them simple tasks like:

Making breakfast
Getting drinks and snacks
Preparing their backpacks for school

If your children are too young to undertake a task like making dinner, get them to help by chopping vegetables and measuring ingredients. Or guide them as they follow a recipe.

This requires a lot of patience from you, the parent. But over time, your child will develop confidence and a greater sense of responsibility.

Develop confidence one step at a time

When learning how to improve your child’s self-esteem, take it one step at a time.

Think about the behaviour and attitude you model for your children, and make an effort to display confidence.

Give them responsibilities rather than rescuing them. Encourage them to treat others with respect. Get them involved in making decisions and celebrate their victories.

Before you know it, your children will be the confident, self-assured adults you always hoped they’d become!

(If you haven’t already done so, make sure to download your free e-book below.)

FREE E-BOOK:

Get your FREE copy of

16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.

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Top 22 Useful Websites for Students

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 1 Comment

The Internet.

Is there a better gift for students?

It allows you to keep in touch with friends, and it also gives you something to do when you’ve completed your schoolwork.

Without the Internet, life would be more dull.

You might love the Internet as a way to relax, but there’s also a lot that it can do to help you improve your study habits and make you more successful.

The following list contains the top useful websites to enable you to get organized, develop new skills, and plan for the future.

So the next time you take a break, check out some of these websites!

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Scheduling, Organization, and Personal Effectiveness

1. MyStudyLife

MyStudyLife is a free app that lets you coordinate your calendar and to-do list.

Designed especially for schools, this is a planner that can be customized for rotating schedules and long-term assignments.

You can even set up reminders about your homework due dates and store assignments in the cloud, so they’re always accessible.

2. Habitica

Habitica is a free app that turns your focused study goals into a game.

Do you want to study a certain number of minutes each day?

Or do you want to finally get down to writing that English essay?

Add it as a goal to Habitica, and it turns into a monster to be slain in the game.

You’ll also get to work with groups of like-minded students, which will make your schoolwork more fun.

3. Todoist

Todoist is my favorite app for organizing my to-do list.

Its clean look keeps you focused, and the app allows you to organize tasks into categories like household chores, reading lists, and long-term projects.

You can access Todoist from any device, so you’ll always have your to-do list with you.

4. Google Calendar

In addition to an ongoing list of assignments, you also need to keep track of your busy schedule of extracurricular activities, family commitments, etc.

Google Calendar is an easy way to do that.

You can even set up alerts and reminders so that you’re always on top of things.

5. Dropbox

If you’re in love with Microsoft Word and don’t want to be limited by Google Docs, Dropbox is the perfect solution for you.

Once you set up a Dropbox account, you can access your work from any computer or device, so you can always get your work done.

You can also share documents with friends or group members — their edits show up instantly for convenient group work.

6. Slack

Speaking of group work, Slack is the app for getting projects done when you and your group members can’t all be together 24 hours a day.

Slack allows you to set up a dedicated space for group texts and document sharing, so you have everything you need in one place.

The app allows you to get your projects done without worrying about being able to coordinate schedules — which is nearly impossible when your friends are just as busy as you are.

Acquiring Knowledge and Skills

7. UnplugTheTV

If you need a break, you don’t have to watch mindless TV shows filled with commercials.

Instead, head over to UnplugTheTV.com, where you’ll find an informative and entertaining featured video explaining one of the world’s great mysteries.

There are at least two new videos added every day, so you’ll never get bored.

8. EdX

Want to take free college courses from some of the best universities in the world?

EdX makes it possible.

From music theory to computer programming, you can pursue your passions and get a head start on college skills from professors at Harvard, MIT, and Berkeley, to name just a few of the universities involved in the program.

9. Coursera

Like EdX, Coursera offers online classes taught by university professors and designed to give you a head start on college.

Though some lectures are available for free, full courses with feedback from professors carry a fee — but financial aid is available.

10. Udacity

If you love technology and want to be a maker, Udacity’s courses in coding and tech are for you.

The courses are designed for real-life work in the tech world.

Your school probably doesn’t offer any courses similar to these, so taking a Udacity course is an excellent way to get a jump on industry knowledge.

11. Academic Earth

Academic Earth is another website that offers plenty of online courses, with classes available in everything from accounting to sociology.

Academic Earth also provides an entertaining “Video Electives” section, as well as information on what to expect from a degree course in any subject.

This can help you to plan what you might want to study further down the road.

12. Codecademy

Codecademy has just one mission: to teach you to code.

Their interactive online courses are broken down into bite-sized lessons and cover topics such as building a web page and learning to code in different computer languages.

If you’ve ever wanted to create your own app or website, this is the perfect way to get started.

13. Lynda

Lynda is an online video library packed with instructional material on various topics.

A good deal of the content is aimed at entrepreneurs and businesspeople, but there are also computer literacy courses and creative options like Photoshop tutorials.

14. Udemy

Like many of these online course websites, Udemy offers a wide range of subjects in its library for a relatively small fee.

What sets Udemy apart is its easy-to-use app, which makes keeping coursework in your pocket a breeze.

They also have a good selection of personal development courses to teach you everything from speed-reading to leadership skills.

15. Instructables

Sometimes you just want to make something, whether it’s related to craft, food, or electronics.

Instructables are detailed, step-by-step directions to help you build just about anything.

It’s an especially good place to learn basic skills like cooking, sewing, and carpentry.

Resources for School

16. Khan Academy

Khan Academy is such a useful resource that your teachers may have already recommended it as a way of getting extra help with your academics.

They offer free online courses and videos. Because the videos are broken down by specific topics, it’s easy to get information on that grammar rule or complex science topic with just a quick search.

17. Koofers

Koofers has an incredible database of practice tests, flashcards, and study guides to help you prepare for exams.

Although it’s geared toward undergraduates, younger students can access the material to study for their own classes and get a taste of what to expect in the future.

18. SparkNotes

When you need help understanding that Shakespeare play or another work of literature assigned in class, SparkNotes is your go-to website.

They have detailed study guides to break down the plot, characters, and themes of just about anything your English teacher might assign.

SparkNotes also has guides for other subjects too.

Improving Writing

19. The Online Writing Lab (OWL)

This is a fantastic resource for everything you need to know about grammar, punctuation, and writing papers.

At the OWL, you’ll find in-depth descriptions and samples of works-cited formatting, as well as explanations of why certain grammar rules are important.

Free Books

20. The Online Books Page

This enormous database of free online books covers centuries of fiction and non-fiction, with new titles added regularly.

It’s a good place to begin in-depth research or browse for a new book by your favourite author. (If you’re looking for inspiration, here’s my list of the top 20 best books for students.)

Planning for Your Future Career

21. MyMajors

If you’re not sure what path to take in your future studies, MyMajors will help you figure it out.

Based on your answers to an aptitude test to determine your strengths and interests, you’ll get recommendations for courses of study and access to a database of universities.

22. ASVAB Career Exploration Program

When you’re totally focused on academics, it can be easy to forget that one day you’ll need to translate your knowledge and interests into a practical career.

This is where the ASVAB Career Exploration Program comes in.

It provides an interest inventory to take stock of how you like to spend your time, which will point you in the direction of careers that you’ll find enjoyable and engaging.

Conclusion

With all of these websites at your fingertips, it’s easier than ever to put your time on the Internet to good use. As a student, this is an important part of managing your time well.

Whether you plan to focus on doing well in the classes you’re taking or would rather explore a new topic of interest, there’s something on this list for everyone.

So the next time you have some free time, check out a few of these websites.

Turn this into part of your personal development plan, and you’ll be on your way to becoming a more organized, knowledgeable, and successful student!

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20 Guaranteed Ways to Mess Up Your Children

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 4 Comments

Parenting is nerve-wracking.

You love your children and want them to grow up to be happy, successful adults.

But some days you’re not sure how to make that happen.

Sometimes you fear that something you’re doing or saying will mess them up permanently.

Here’s the good news: Part of great parenting is avoiding mistakes.

The even better news is that you don’t have to discover these mistakes for yourself.

I’ve worked with thousands of children and teenagers, and they’ve told me the mistakes their parents have made.

Here are 20 unintentional ways parents mess up their children, so start avoiding these behaviours today!

(Don’t forget to download your free e-book below.)

FREE E-BOOK:

Get your FREE copy of

16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.

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Mistake #1: Frequently tell them that they’re not living up to their potential

Parents often mean well when they say this. They think it’ll encourage their children to work harder and become more focused.

Unfortunately, it has the opposite effect. It makes children feel like a failure.

It also makes children feel as though their parents only love them when they’re successful or working hard.

A more effective approach is to encourage your children to self-reflect.

After all, how they feel about themselves is more important than how others feel about them.

Mistake #2: Scold them harshly when they make unintentional mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes.

But when your children accidentally spill their juice or drop a plate, it’s important not to overreact.

Doing so can cause them to develop a fear of failure. They may start to think that making mistakes is bad.

But in truth, making mistakes is the way we learn.

So when your children make a mistake, stay calm and say something like, “It was an accident. Let’s clean it up.”

Mistake #3: Continually point out their flaws

Some parents continually point out the flaws in their children.

They say they’re too messy, they’re irresponsible, or they don’t work hard enough.

Constant criticism results in a serious reduction in self-esteem. The children may start to believe that they’re not good enough, and will never measure up to expectations.

To motivate your children, try a little inspiration instead.

Tell them what they’ve done well. When you notice their efforts in a specific area, they’ll feel good about themselves.

As such, they’ll be more likely to repeat that behaviour in the future.

Mistake #4: Overemphasise the importance of academics

Academic performance is important, but it’s not the only thing that matters.

Constantly asking, “Have you finished your homework?” is perceived as nagging. It won’t result in better grades, and your relationship with your children will suffer.

Instead, focus on strengthening your relationship, and on helping your children to develop a healthy self-esteem.

You want your children to become independent, confident, and resilient adults. So foster their confidence and they’ll be able to lead meaningful and successful lives.

Mistake #5: Praise them too much

Praise is important, but it’s a tricky thing.

Too much praise can give children a distorted sense of self. Your children may start to feel like they’re entitled to many things in life since they’re so “special”.

General praise isn’t helpful either. Saying things like “Good job” or “Well done” is too broad.

In order for praise to be effective it needs to be specific, so your children know exactly what they’ve done well. That way they can repeat the action in the future.

Try saying things like, “Thanks for taking the clothes out of the washing machine. That really helped me.” Or “You worked really hard on that paper. You should be proud of yourself.”

Mistake #6: Neglect your spouse and marriage

You might not realise it, but your marriage is critical to your children’s upbringing.

Children need to feel safe and secure. One of the best ways you can make them feel that way is to have a loving, supportive relationship with your spouse.

If you neglect your spouse and marriage, your home environment is likely to become tense.

No matter how well you might think you’re hiding it, your children will know. They may even start to avoid being at home.

Mistake #7: Talk as if you always know better than them

No one likes to have someone talk down to them, or to have someone treat them as though they know better.

And let’s face it, your children probably know more about the latest apps, technology, and pop culture than you do.

They have their own experience and perspective, and they deserve to be treated with respect.

If you take a humbler approach, and are willing to learn from them, you’ll find that your relationship will become much stronger.

Mistake #8: Don’t show an interest in the things they care about

Sometimes the things our children care about seem insignificant. Like the latest “who doesn’t like who” classroom drama, or the coolest social media app.

These things are insignificant to us, but they’re incredibly important to our children.

When parents don’t show an interest in the things their children care about, they feel dismissed. They may assume that we’re not interested in their lives – even though that’s not true.

They become far less likely to turn to us when they need help.

Mistake #9: Protect them from the consequences of their actions

When children forget their homework or their wallet, it’s tempting to fix the problem for them.

Doing this occasionally is fine, but doing this too often can cause significant problems. Children need to learn to deal with the consequences of their actions and learn from their mistakes.

As adults, no one protects us or bails us out. We’re forced to take full responsibility for our actions.

Children learn to take responsibility when we allow them to accept the consequences of their actions. Protecting them can rob them of this valuable experience.

Mistake #10: Don’t have regular family meals

Eating together even a few times a week can reap big rewards.

In fact, eating regular family meals can improve academic performance, self-esteem, and resilience.

Regular meals together can also lower the risk of:

Substance abuse
Teen pregnancy
Depression
Eating disorders
Obesity

If you want your children to reap these physical, mental, and emotional benefits, aim to have a family meal at least three or four times a week.

Mistake #11: Talk negatively about your spouse in front of them

Try not to talk negatively about your spouse in front of your children, as this is both unsettling and worrying for them.

While you don’t have to agree on everything, your children need to know that you and your spouse are a strong, united couple. They need to believe you have a committed, loving relationship.

If not, they may start to play one parent off against the other.

Mistake #12: Try to fulfill your unfulfilled dreams through them

Your children are not an opportunity to fulfill your unfulfilled dreams.

They’re individuals, not extensions of you. They may have many of your traits, but that doesn’t mean they have to follow your dreams.

They need to follow their own dreams and live their own life. As parents, it’s our role to support them to fulfill their dreams – not ours.

Mistake #13: Intentionally shame them

Some people think it’s appropriate to use shame as a form of punishment. They may embarrass their children in public when they’ve done the wrong thing.

This isn’t an effective way to teach children to behave, and it leads to emotional scarring. It’s also likely to result in the children repeating this behaviour.

Intentionally shaming your children is hurtful, so explore alternative methods of disciplining them.

Mistake #14: Don’t set boundaries for them

Do you ever feel like your children argue with you about everything? It’s as though everything you say needs to be disputed.

You ask them to tidy up some of their things and they say, “I’m busy. I’ll do it later.”

You ask them to do their homework and they say, “I have the whole weekend to do it. Why do I have to do it now?”

No matter what you do, they still want more freedom and independence.

But boundaries are important. You can rethink some rules as they get older, but stick to the important ones.

Despite the way it may seem, your children need these limits!

Mistake #15: Refuse to apologise when you’ve made a mistake

One of the biggest things that anyone can do is to apologise for making a mistake. It takes courage, but it shows you care and that you know – and do – the right thing.

Even if you’ve had a disagreement and your child said things that were disrespectful, you probably had a part to play too. After all, it takes two hands to clap.

Apologising for the things you said or did sends your child a powerful message. It shows that you’re prepared to do the right thing.

It also strengthens your relationship and heals the pain caused by the argument.

Mistake #16: Treat each of your children equally, instead of focusing on how unique each child is to you

How many times have you heard something like, “It’s not fair – she has more juice than I do!” Or maybe, “He has more pancakes than me!”

If you have more than one child, it’s tempting to make everything equal. The problem is that this doesn’t make them feel as though they’re equal.

Instead, give each child what he or she needs.

When they complain they didn’t get the same amount of juice, you can tell them they’ll get more if they need more.

Focus on their individuality and show them that they’re special and unique to you. Let them know that there’s no one else like them in the whole world.

Mistake #17: Don’t involve them in the process of setting rules and boundaries

As your child gets older and more independent, it’s reasonable to involve them in setting rules and boundaries.

This doesn’t mean you have to let them get their own way. It means that you don’t just lay down the law or announce the rules without any discussion.

Instead, involve them in the process as much as possible.

Involving them in the decision-making process lets them know they have a voice, and their needs have been heard.

It helps them to weigh the pros and cons of the situation, and gives them real life examples of how people negotiate.

Mistake #18: Speak too much and listen too little

One of the biggest mistakes parents make is to lecture, give advice, or criticise, instead of listening and understanding.

Many parents think they’re listening to their children, but their children disagree. The key is not just to listen, but to help them feel heard.

Why?

Because your children won’t change their behaviour unless they first feel understood. So you need to respect their views and opinions, and show them that you’re listening.

Mistake #19: Ignore or downplay their feelings

Sometimes parents say things to their children like, “There’s no need to feel sad” or “There’s no reason to cry.”

This makes the children think that their feelings aren’t valid. It also encourages them to suppress their feelings.

This isn’t healthy.

It’s important to acknowledge feelings, and to teach your children that all feelings are acceptable – but that not all actions are.

Mistake #20: Focus too much on rules while neglecting the relationship

Rules and boundaries are certainly important, but relationships matter more.

You might have a rule that lights-out is at 8.30 pm, but one night your child is still reading at 8:40 pm.

The rule is important, but is it worth damaging the connection you have with your child?

Don’t throw out the rule book, but do maintain a balance. Foster a strong parent-child relationship, and your children will grow up to be happier and more successful.

Conclusion

If you’ve made some of these mistakes, don’t feel too discouraged.

After all, great parents are always learning, growing, and improving.

Make a note of the errors you’ve been committing, and make a firm decision to change your behaviour.

It’s never too late to change, and it’s never too late to strengthen your relationship with your children.

All you have to do is take action – there’s no better time like the present!

(If you haven’t already done so, make sure to download your free e-book below.)

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15 Things Parents Unknowingly Do That Annoy Their Children

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 23 Comments

Do you want to have a better relationship with your children?

If so, one of the best things you can do is to avoid annoying them.

Why?

Because if your children are annoyed with you, it’s hard to have a strong parent-child relationship.

And without a strong parent-child relationship, it’s hard to raise happy, responsible and successful children.

I’ve worked with pre-teens and teens for many years. They’ve told me about the many things their parents unknowingly do that irritate them.

Here’s a list of 15 of those things you should stop doing right away.

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Annoying behavior #1: Continually point out your children’s flaws.

It’s easy to point out your children’s flaws:

“You watch too much TV.”
“Why are you so lazy?”
“You need to stop procrastinating.”
“You should study more.”
“Why don’t you try to be more organized?”
“You should pay more attention in class.”
“You should choose your friends more wisely.”

Criticism must be combined with an acknowledgement of good behavior.

You don’t need to go over the top with your praise, but it helps to catch your child doing and being good.

Annoying behavior #2: Treat your children as problems, not people.

Make an effort to speak positively to your children.

Some studies even show that the ideal ratio of positive comments to negative comments is 6:1.

If you talk to your children as if they’re problems you’re trying to fix, they’ll become resentful.

Listen to your children respectfully, demonstrate an interest in their hobbies, and show them common courtesies.

By doing so, you’ll build a better relationship with them.

Annoying behavior #3: Ask your children every day, “Have you completed your homework?”

Yes, it’s important that your children finish their homework on time.

But it’s also important that your children understand that homework isn’t the only thing you care about.

Continually asking “Have you completed your homework?” comes across as nagging.

Rather than nag, establish boundaries to make sure that you and your children are on the same page.

For example, you and your children may decide that as long as they maintain a B average and you don’t receive any complaints from their teachers, you won’t nag them about homework.

This approach allows your children more freedom, with less stress and frustration for both you and them.

Annoying behavior #4: Make your children feel as if they’re never working hard enough.

Your children may feel this way if you frequently comment about their lack of discipline, poor study habits, and inability to manage their time.

While you may be speaking the truth, your children may start to believe that they’ll never be able to measure up to your expectations.

As such, they may stop trying altogether.

You can prevent this by taking the time to understand your children’s feelings, and to focus on the things they’re doing well.

Annoying behavior #5: Give long lectures.

In your mind, giving long lectures may be the best way to get your point across.

But in your children’s minds, this is one of the most annoying things you can do.

Soon enough, your children will zone out, stop listening, and say whatever you want to hear in an attempt to end the lecture.

The better solution is to opt for a two-way conversation.

Encourage your children to share their perspective on the situation, and brainstorm possible solutions together with them.

Annoying behavior #6: Micromanage your children.

Do you manage your children’s schedule, from what they do each day to what they eat to what time they go to bed?

In general, children aged seven and older are capable of managing their schoolwork and other important tasks with minimal adult supervision.

They’ll need some coaching to accomplish this, but remember that the long-term goal of parenting is to “prepare the child for the path, not the path for the child.”

Annoying behavior #7: Break your promises.

You can’t just “talk the talk.” You also need to “walk the walk.”

If you break your promises, your children won’t trust you. This holds true for both big and small promises.

Children remember when a parent breaks a promise, even if it’s as simple as not taking them to a movie when you said you would.

Trust is the foundation of every relationship. So whenever you make a promise, follow through on it.

Annoying behavior #8: End a conversation with the phrase “because I said so.”

Think back to when you were a child.

“Because I said so” is the last thing you wanted to hear coming out from your parents’ mouths, right?

As frustrated as you might be with your children, don’t let this phrase slip out.

If you’re on the verge of losing your cool, take a step back and gather your thoughts.

Restart the conversation later in the day when you and your children have calmed down.

Annoying behavior #9: Continually accuse your children of arguing.

Do you often tell your children to “stop arguing” or to “stop talking back”?

I know . . . from your perspective, your children really are arguing and talking back.

But from their perspective, they’re just speaking their mind. They don’t mean to be rude.

Of course, this doesn’t mean you should tolerate behavior that’s blatantly disrespectful. But it does mean that you must model for your children what it means to be respectful.

Annoying behavior #10: Refuse to apologize, even when it’s clear that you’re in the wrong.

We all make mistakes. But as long as you admit it when you’re wrong, your children will forgive you.

Refusing to apologize to your children is the quickest way to create feelings of resentment and anger.

So if you’ve messed up, swallow your pride and apologize to your children.

If you can’t bring yourself to do so in person, send a text message or write a card instead.

This may not sound like a big deal, but an apology – even one that occurs many years after the fact – can help to restore the relationship.

Annoying behavior #11: Talk as if you know it all.

You probably have more perspective on life than your children, but you must remember that times have changed.

Growing up today isn’t the same as it was when you were a child or teenager.

For instance, it’s likely that your children know more about social media and digital technology than you. This means that, in some ways, they have a better understanding of how the world works.

So don’t act like you know it all. Instead, show your children that you’re willing to learn from them too.

Annoying behavior #12: Tell your children what things were like “when I was your age.”

When you talk as if you know exactly how your children feel, they’ll tune you out before you ever have a chance to make your point.

The pressures your children face today are different than what you dealt with growing up.

The world is more competitive today. There are more distractions to overcome. Technology is ubiquitous.

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with sharing stories from your past. Just don’t act like you know everything.

Listen more, speak less, and be open to your children’s views and opinions.

Do these things and you’ll keep the lines of communication between you and your children open.

Annoying behavior #13: Invade your children’s privacy.

An immediate way to destroy trust in your parent-child relationship is to invade your child’s privacy.

You should never go through your children’s personal belongings unless you suspect that they’re in grave danger.

Yes, you have the right to know where they are, who they’re with, and what time they’re expected to come home.

But as your children get older, it’s only natural that they’ll expect to have more freedom and independence.

Annoying behavior #14: Jump to conclusions.

As a parent, it’s easy to let past events influence your perception of future events.

But you must resist the urge to jump to conclusions.

For example, if your child gets a bad grade on a test, your first inclination may be to say, “You didn’t study for the test, did you?”

By jumping to conclusions, you’ll make the situation worse by putting your children on the defensive.

And when your children become defensive, it’ll be challenging to resolve the situation.

Even worse than jumping to conclusions is assuming that your child is lying – before you even gather all the facts. This can lead to future mistrust as well as permanent damage to the parent-child relationship.

Annoying behavior #15: Overreact.

Every parent wants the best for their children, which explains why many parents become anxious when things appear to take a turn for the worse.

Maybe your child’s math grade slips by 10%. Within a few days, you’ve hired a math tutor, started monitoring your child’s every move, and canceled all of your child’s extracurricular activities.

Although it might not seem like it to you, your child will definitely see this as an overreaction.

So before you respond to the situation, find out the reasons for the problem.

Think of potential solutions together with your child and – as far as possible – arrive at a mutually agreeable conclusion.

Conclusion

If you feel like you’re always committing parenting mistakes, don’t be discouraged.

By making a few specific changes, you’ll see a drastic improvement in your children’s development.

I encourage you to review this article periodically and develop an ongoing action plan to strengthen your parent-child relationship.

Yes, you’ll need to put in some effort.

But as Harold Lee once said, “The most important work you and I will ever do will be within the walls of our own homes.”

The time to get to work is now!

(If you haven’t already done so, make sure to download your free e-book below.)

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12 Reasons Your Child Seems Lazy and Unmotivated (And What You Can Do About It)

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 22 Comments

Everyone struggles with motivation occasionally.

Children and teens are no exceptions.

If your children start to exhibit signs like worsening grades, a lack of interest in activities, or a tendency toward isolation, your children probably aren’t lazy.

They may just be dealing with other issues that haven’t been addressed yet.

The good news is that there are ways to overcome these difficulties and create a healthy environment in which your children can flourish.

In this article, you’ll learn 12 common reasons for your children’s decreased motivation.

You’ll also learn how to address these issues effectively.

Let’s get started!

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Reason #1: Your child feels overwhelmed or discouraged.

Think about how you deal with overwhelming issues as an adult.

If you don’t know where to start, you focus on small portions of the problem or find a way to look at the issue in a new light.

But children don’t automatically know how to do this.

So when a stressful situation arises, walk your children through the problem.

What’s overwhelming about the issue?

Where should we start?

What are some possible solutions?

These types of probing questions will get your children to examine the problem in a calm manner. By working on the problem together with them, they’ll know that they’re not alone.

Children can also become overwhelmed by discouragement.

Remind your children that failures help them to learn, and that you’re no less proud of them when they experience setbacks. Encouragement is an excellent motivator in children, so offer it freely and often.

Reason #2: There’s an ongoing power struggle between you and your child.

Every parent dreads the infamous battle of the wills. It can play out in many ways when it comes to motivation.

For example, if your children are lagging behind in a particular subject and you deal with the situation in a harsh manner, they may simply shut down.

They may refuse to comply with your requests just to further anger you.

Many parents find that offering choices instead of issuing commands works well as an alternative approach.

For instance, you could ask your child, “Would you like to go to the library and find books on this subject, or would you like to approach your teacher for help?”

This type of question gives your children some freedom, while still pointing them in the right direction.

Reason #3: Your child is struggling with perfectionism.

You know the perfectionist when you see him or her: the desire to please, the obsession with getting everything right, and the tendency to procrastinate.

What many people don’t realize about perfectionism is that it can be crippling.

The desire to achieve perfection causes intense pressure as the child develops a paralyzing fear of failure.

So be mindful of the messages you send your children.

If you lose your cool over a broken cup or a bad grade, your children may start to believe that they need to be perfect all the time.

Remind your children that it’s okay to make mistakes. After all, the goal is progress, not perfection.

Reason #4: Your child feels that he or she is being treated as a problem, not a person.

If your children seem lazy or unmotivated, it’s understandable that you’re frustrated.

But if you treat them as if they’re a problem you’re trying to solve, they won’t respond well.

What should you do instead?

Let your children know that you care about who they are as people.

Connect with them over things that interest them. Discuss their favorite books and hobbies. Find out what kind of music they like.

This will help your children to understand that, while they may be struggling, you’ll be there with them the entire way.

Reason #5: Your child feels forced into performing the task or activity.

Children (and adults too!) don’t like being forced into doing things.

So don’t waste your time trying to coerce them into behaving a certain way. They’ll end up feeling frustrated, and so will you.

Instead, motivate your children by emphasizing the reward they’ll get once they finish the task: “When you finish your homework, you can watch TV for half an hour.”

In addition, offer your children choices as often as you can, e.g., “Would you like to take out the trash now or after dinner?”

Reason #6: Your child is under negative influence from peers.

Your son starts swearing. Or you receive news that your daughter has been bullying her classmates.

“That’s not like them,” you think – and it probably isn’t. Most likely, they’re being influenced by those around them.

When you address the issue at hand, don’t jump to conclusions, and don’t be too quick to dish out punishment.

Instead, speak to your children calmly and understand their perspective.

Get them to think about their actions, and help them to reflect on the values and principles they want to live by.

Reason #7: Your child is depressed.

If you’ve witnessed unusual symptoms in your child like fatigue, loss of appetite, irritability, or social withdrawal, he or she may be depressed.

If this describes your child, get professional help immediately.

The longer you wait, the greater the likelihood that the situation will spiral out of control.

Reason #8: Your child has a learning disability.

In some cases, it’s not laziness that’s the issue.

Some children suffer from learning disabilities that hinder them from understanding or retaining information.

They may struggle with basic grammar and math, or find it hard to remember simple equations.

In recent years, there’s been an overdiagnosis of learning disabilities like ADHD. But if you strongly suspect that your child has a learning disability, speak with the school about getting an evaluation done.

If it turns out that your child has a learning disability, you can work with the teachers to develop a plan of action.

Reason #9: Your child isn’t taking care of his or her physical health.

We often underestimate how closely our mental performance is linked to our physical health.

It’s vital that your children have a balanced diet, get enough sleep, and exercise regularly.

Too much sugar and a lack of sleep lead to an inability to focus. This will have a direct impact on your children’s performance in school.

Limit the sweets and processed snacks that you keep around the house. Also, do your best to ensure that everyone in the home gets to bed on time.

Reason #10: Your child feels that he or she is being micromanaged.

No one likes having a boss who’s a micromanager. Neither do children and teenagers like having parents who are micromanagers.

So resist the urge to control every aspect of your children’s lives: what clothes they wear, what food they eat, when they do their homework, which friends they hang out with.

As the saying goes, “Parents should prepare the child for the path, not the path for the child.”

As much as possible, involve your children in the process of establishing rules and determining the consequences when those rules are broken.

This will make it much more likely that they’ll abide by those rules, which means that you won’t need to micromanage them either.

Reason #11: Your child feels that the acceptance he or she receives from you is conditional.

Do you only praise your children when they meet your standards?

Do you show your children that you love them, regardless of their behavior or accomplishments?

If children feel as if they’re only loved when they act a certain way, their motivation will wane, because they may give up trying to earn your love.

Of course, you should have expectations of your children in terms of their values and moral standards. But always remind them that you love them unconditionally.

Reason #12: Your child lacks mentors or role models.

Every child needs a mentor. But it’s hard for parents to play this role, especially when the child reaches the teenage years.

Mentors provide children and teenagers with a fresh perspective on education and life.

More importantly, their advice won’t be perceived as nagging, as it might be if the same advice came from the parents.

Research also shows that children who have a mentor experience greater levels of life satisfaction than children who don’t.

So I encourage you to find a trusted friend who’s willing to meet with your child periodically to mentor him or her. (I also offer this mentoring/coaching program.)

Conclusion

In this article, you’ve learned the 12 most common reasons why children and teens seem lazy or unmotivated.

Depending on the situation, there may be several factors involved.

As such, helping your children regain their motivation will likely require a multi-pronged approach.

Take it one step at a time and one day at a time. I’m confident that your efforts will pay off in the long run, and you’ll see that your children have become more diligent, responsible and motivated!

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40 Good Habits for Students to Practise Every Day

Updated on September 30, 2024 By Daniel Wong 56 Comments

Why are some students more successful than others?

While there are many possible reasons, it often comes down to one thing…

They know the good habits for students they ought to practise.

Students with good habits achieve the most success. These habits give them the structure they need to reach their goals.

So I’ve created a list of 40 good habits for students to practise every day.

As you develop these habits, you’ll become a happier, healthier and more successful student.

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Here are the best habits for students

Good habits for students are ones that will serve you well in all areas of your life, not just in school.

The following list includes habits to improve your physical health, motivation, self-discipline, and more.

1. Write down the three to five most important tasks to accomplish for the day.

Without a written list to help you stay on track, it’s easy to overlook and put off important tasks.

By writing down your three to five most important tasks for the day, you’ll focus on the critical tasks, not just the urgent ones.

If you want to study smart and become more productive, start cultivating this habit today.

2. Update your calendar with key dates and events.

A calendar is a great way to stay on schedule, day after day, while also planning for the future.

Using a calendar for things related to school is one of the most important habits for students to stay organised.

You can use a physical calendar or an online one like Google Calendar to record test dates, project submission deadlines, term breaks, etc.

This way, you’ll be on top of things at all times.

3. Work on your most challenging task during your most productive time of day.

Tackle your most challenging task when your mind and body are fresh.

This will ensure that you have the energy to complete the task most efficiently. It’ll make the rest of your day more productive too!

4. Write down at least one thing you’re thankful for.

Are you thankful for your friends? How about your family? What about your education?

Gratitude is a good habit for students to practise daily. It only takes a couple of minutes to write down something you’re thankful for.

But this useful habit will help you find long-term success and happiness.

5. Perform focused deep breathing for two minutes.

Stress can negatively impact academic performance, but there’s a quick solution to this.

Deep breathing is scientifically proven to reduce stress and even increase willpower.

So take just two minutes and perform focused deep breathing every day.

I recommend that you do these deep breathing exercises right before tests and exams to relieve stress as well.

6. Read your favourite inspirational quote.

For a quick boost of motivation to study, read your favourite inspirational quote.

My personal favourite is this one by Jim Rohn: “Don’t wish it were easier. Wish you were better.” If you don’t have a favourite, here is a list for you to refer to.

7. Perform a random act of kindness.

You’ll feel better about yourself, as well as life in general, when you get into the excellent habit of performing a random act of kindness at least once a day.

This good habit for students to cultivate doesn’t require a lot of time.

It could be something as simple as giving someone a genuine compliment or giving up your seat on the bus.

8. Get five minutes of sun.

Be sure to include going outside in your list of healthy habits to practise.

There are many benefits of getting some sun every day.

For example, it improves brain function, enhances sleep quality, and reduces the risk of certain cancers.

So don’t spend your entire day cooped up inside!

9. Do something that scares you.

This is the best way to build courage and develop confidence.

Yes, it’s scary to face your fears, so I encourage you to start small. List your fears and decide on a tiny action you can take today to overcome just one of those fears.

10. Spend time with like-minded people whom you want to learn from.

As a student, you come in contact with many people throughout your day.

Spend time with like-minded individuals whom you want to learn from.

These people will change the way you think, while giving you advice about how to improve your life.

11. Eat breakfast within 30 minutes of waking up.

Eating breakfast is a healthy habit for students that you shouldn’t overlook.

It’s easy to find a reason to skip breakfast, but this is a mistake.

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and you should eat it within 30 minutes of rising.

This will give you the energy you need to take on the day.

12. Drink at least eight glasses of water.

The health benefits of drinking water are tremendous. Everyone knows they should drink eight glasses of water a day, but few people actually do this.

Make this a habit and your body will thank you down the road.

13. Exercise for at least 15 minutes.

You may not have time to hit the gym for an hour or two, but a short burst of daily exercise is an essential healthy habit for students.

Everyone can find 15 minutes in their day to exercise.

This can be as simple as going for a brisk walk or doing some calisthenics.

Over time, you’ll find that you’re more energetic and that you fall sick less often too.

14. Go to bed and wake up at roughly the same time every day.

It’s hard to be well-rested when your sleep schedule is all over the place.

You might find it hard to go to bed and wake up at exactly the same time every day, but try to stay within a 30-minute window.

15. Get at least eight hours of sleep every night.

Getting enough sleep is a healthy habit that many students struggle to incorporate in their lives.

Most people need at least eight hours of sleep every night in order to function optimally.

So set your schedule to ensure that you’re working toward this goal.

(Learn how getting eight hours of sleep a night helped me to become a better – and happier – student.)

16. Follow a bedtime routine.

If you lack a bedtime routine, you may find it difficult to wind down and enter “sleep mode”.

Establish a routine that you can follow, night in and night out. This can be as simple as:

Take a shower
Dim the lights
Put on some relaxing music
Read a few pages of your favourite book
Journal for a few minutes
Turn off the lights

17. Set up your phone so that you receive reminders for things you have to do.

With a reminder or task app like Todoist, you can turn your phone into your personal assistant.

Set up your device to remind you of things you have to do, a meeting you have scheduled with your advisor, or a phone call you need to make.

18. If you’re trying to change a bad habit, set up a reward and punishment system.

Bad habits are hard to break. To give yourself an extra incentive, set up a reward and punishment system.

When you make progress, reward yourself. But when you take a step back, enforce a punishment. This holds you accountable, allowing you to change the habit sooner rather than later.

19. If you don’t understand something that was taught in school, clarify your doubts on that same day.

Even the best students don’t understand everything at first.

If you don’t understand a particular concept that your teacher talked about in class, clarify your doubts that same day. This good habit will ensure that you keep up with the material.

20. Create a study plan for any upcoming tests or exams.

Without a study plan to enable you to concentrate, you’ll lack the structure you need to best prepare for an upcoming test or exam.

Make your plan clear and specific, and add in timelines too.

If there’s one study tip you should implement, it’s this one!

21. Be at least five minutes early for every appointment.

Arriving late for an appointment is never a good idea.

It’s a good habit for students to arrive five minutes early for every appointment, as this will ease your stress and show the other person how much you care about the appointment.

22. Review your homework list.

There’s nothing worse than finding out you have an assignment due the next day that you haven’t even started on.

Guard against this by keeping your homework list current and combining it with reminders on your phone (see Point #17 above).

23. Before you start work, make sure you have all the materials and resources you need.

Organisation is essential to reaching your goals.

Before you start any task, make sure you have everything you need, e.g., notes, stationery, textbook, calculator.

Not only will this keep you organised for school-related tasks, it will also help you avoid unnecessary distractions and interruptions.

24. When memorising information, use mnemonic devices whenever possible.

For example, if you’re trying to memorise the electromagnetic spectrum, you might use this mnemonic device:

Ricky (Radio)
Martin (Microwaves)
Is (Infrared)
Very (Visible)
Unique (Ultraviolet) and
eXtremely (X-rays)
Glamorous (Gamma rays)

Such mnemonic devices help you to learn information faster, while aiding in recall too.

25. Focus on one task at a time; don’t multitask.

Research shows that multitasking negatively affects productivity. If you think you’re more productive by multitasking, you’re just tricking yourself.

So choose one task to work on and stick with it until you’re done. This study habit alone will make you a much better student!

26. Before you get down to work, remove all distractions.

There are many things you can do to avoid distractions while studying.

Before you begin your study session, remove as many distractions as possible, e.g., phone, Internet, games, unnecessary notes on your study table.

27. Break down a big task into several smaller ones.

A big task, such as a 10-page report, can be intimidating. But if you break that task down into 10 writing sessions of one page each, you’ll find it much easier to complete the report.

Adopt this approach and you’ll gradually overcome your habit of procrastination.

28. Whenever possible, do your regular homework at the same time and place every day.

Just as you should establish a sleep routine, you should also establish a homework routine to ensure that you don’t procrastinate.

Have a time and place for completing your regular homework, as this will improve your overall productivity and allow you to get your homework done faster.

29. Check through your homework after you’ve completed it.

As you reach the end of a homework assignment, you’ll probably begin to think about what you’re going to do during your break.

But don’t mark the assignment as “complete” until you’ve checked through it for mistakes.

This little bit of extra effort will pay off in the long run!

30. Take regular breaks – at least one every hour.

Research shows that taking regular breaks improves attention and productivity.

Taking one break an hour will keep you fresh, allowing you to work at your peak concentration for a longer period of time.

31. Give yourself a small reward after you complete each major task.

Reward systems don’t just work for young children.

Students benefit from such systems as well, as it gives you the incentive to work through a task in a timely manner.

32. Organise your notes and assignments.

Being organised is essential to succeeding in school, so establish good habits for staying on top of your schoolwork.

Take just 5 to 10 minutes every day to organise your notes and assignments.

When it’s time to prepare for your next test or exam, you won’t find yourself looking all over the place just to find the resources you need.

33. Clear your study table at the end of each day.

When your day comes to an end, clear your study table so that you’ll have a fresh start the following day.

You don’t want your day to start with a desk full of clutter, because this will likely make you feel unmotivated.

34. Read for at least 10 minutes a day.

With so many benefits of reading – from reducing the risk of Alzheimer’s disease to lowering stress levels – it’s something you should do every day.

I recommend that you include reading as part of your bedtime routine (see Point #16).

35. Whenever you face a problem, ask yourself: “What is one thing I can do right now to make the situation better?”

This is a difficult habit to get into, as many people instinctively shy away from a problem or try to think past it.

Don’t do this. Instead, find the one thing you can do right now to make the situation better.

This may not solve your problem immediately, but it will put you on the road to doing so.

36. Ask for help, if necessary.

This doesn’t mean you should always rely on others for answers, but there’s nothing wrong with reaching out for help when you’re stuck.

Furthermore, research shows that asking for advice makes a good impression on others.

37. Learn something outside the syllabus.

School has a syllabus, but life doesn’t. Learning for the sake of learning is an excellent habit for students to cultivate that will last a lifetime.

Every day, strive to learn something outside the school syllabus. I encourage you to read a book, take an online course, or learn a new skill.

There are so many resources available on the Internet, so the information is really just a click away.

38. Spend a few minutes reflecting on the day gone by.

At the end of each day, take the time to look back and reflect on what happened during the day.

Did you make progress toward your goals? What were your successes and failures? What good (and not-so-good) decisions did you make?

This simple habit of reflection will help you to get better, day by day.

39. Spend at least 15 minutes talking to your family.

You probably already know you should do this.

Family is one of the most important things in the world, so don’t take it for granted.

40. Spend 20 minutes doing something relaxing.

Maybe you enjoy listening to music to relax your mind and body. Or maybe you enjoy reading.

Whatever you prefer, give yourself 20 minutes a day to do something relaxing. This will help you to be a calm, relaxed, and positive person.

Start with just one new good habit

As you review this list of good habits for students to practise daily, remember that you’re always in a position to make a change.

It takes 21 days or more to develop a new habit, so there’s no such thing as overnight success.

But the process will be worth it.

Just make sure you don’t pick up any bad study habits along the way, which will hold your progress back.

As you develop good habits, you’ll experience positive changes. You’ll become a healthier, more productive, and more successful student. So get started today! 🙂

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20 Powerful Tips for Parenting Teenagers

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 7 Comments

Do you want your teenager to become a mature, responsible adult?

I’m sure you do, but there will definitely be roadblocks along the way.

Teenagers are going through many changes, so you’ll need to adjust your parenting style too. Parenthood is a hard job that gets even harder when your child reaches the teenage years.

I know this for a fact, because I’ve spoken to and worked with more than 20,000 teenagers.

Through my work, I’ve come to realize that no two teenagers are the same.

That may be stating the obvious. But, at the same time, there are proven tips that every parent can use to raise a happy, successful, and well-adjusted teenager.

Here are 20 powerful tips I recommend that every parent follow.

(Don’t forget to download your free e-book below.)

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1. Pick your battles.

Things like hairstyle and choice of clothes don’t matter much in the long run.

So focus on the things that do matter: responsibilities, values, and character.

It’s better to pick your battles than to turn every disagreement into a shouting match.

2. Decide on rules and boundaries in advance.

I’ve worked with many teenagers who feel that they live under the thumb of their parents.

Teenagers who help to create rules and boundaries are more likely to follow them.

So, whenever possible, involve your teenager in the process of creating rules and setting boundaries. Put these rules down in writing, along with any consequences in the case that your teenager breaks the rules.

3. Address one issue at a time.

It’s important to focus when you’re trying to be productive. The same principle holds true when parenting your teenager.

Teenagers often exhibit more than one problematic behavior at a time.

Address each issue separately, because if you try to tackle all the issues at once, you won’t get anywhere.

4. Use “I” statements instead of “you” statements.

This is a subtle change that can have a major impact on your parent-child relationship.

Here’s an example: Saying “I feel disrespected when you speak to me like that” is far better than saying “You are so rude.”

“I” statements are less accusatory than “you” statements, so your teenager will likely respond better to the former rather than the latter.

5. Help them reflect on their choices.

As far as possible, don’t nag or criticize your teenager. Instead, calmly discuss what he could do differently in the future and other options he could have considered.

When your teenager disobeys you, you might be tempted to say something like, “How dare you?! I told you that you weren’t allowed to do that.”

But this parenting approach won’t work in the long term.

By helping your teenager to reflect on his choices, he’ll grow and mature more quickly.

6. Keep the lines of communication open.

Teenagers must know that they can come to you with their problems, without you jumping to conclusions or overreacting.

If they don’t have this assurance, they won’t share their problems with you.

Here are some ways to keep the lines of communication open:

Listen more
Speak less
Don’t lecture
If you do lecture, be brief
Ask for your teenager’s opinion
Don’t interrupt your teenager
Show basic courtesies to your teenager

7. Don’t lecture or discipline them when you’re angry.

When you’re calm, it’s easier to converse in a civilized manner and to negotiate effectively with your teenager.

It can be difficult to take a step back in the heat of the moment, but as you do so consistently, you’ll find that your relationship with your teenager will improve.

8. Explain your values without preaching.

Your values probably aren’t the same as your teenager’s. But this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t share what you believe.

Rather than preach to your teenager, tell stories from your own life and from the lives of inspiring people you know.

It’s more likely that you’ll get through to your teenager this way, because preaching and lecturing come across as condescending.

9. Respect their opinions and feelings.

Your teenager has her own opinions and feelings. You don’t have to agree with them, but you must respect them.

For example, your teenager might declare that extracurricular activities are a waste of time. Instead of telling her why she’s wrong, ask questions to understand her point of view.

You might just realize that she’s thought about certain perspectives that you haven’t.

10. Educate yourself on teen development.

Parents who educate themselves on teen development usually have a better relationship with their children.

As with anything worth doing, becoming a world-class parent takes effort. I encourage you to read books (like these), attend seminars, and take courses.

The more you learn, the more you’ll be amazed at how much you didn’t know before!

11. Respect their privacy.

Unless you suspect that your teenager is in physical danger, resist the urge to snoop around.

You have a right to know where she is, whom she’s hanging out with, and what time she’s expected to be home.

But, in general, you don’t have the right to read her text messages or her journal, or to go through her personal belongings.

By showing your teenager respect, she’ll learn to show you respect too.

12. Give them responsibilities.

Without responsibilities, your teenager will never learn to be responsible.

For example, teenagers today are busy, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t help out around the house. If you think your teenager’s time is too important for him to perform chores, it’s only a matter of time before he concludes that he is too important to perform chores.

Having this mindset is what leads to an unhealthy sense of entitlement in the future.

13. Apologize when you’ve made a mistake.

No parent is perfect, so don’t be too proud to admit it when you’ve made a mistake.

By modeling humility for your teenager, she’ll be more likely to follow your example.

What’s more, her respect for you will grow, and you’ll develop a stronger relationship with her in the process.

14. Don’t bail them out.

When your teenager makes a mistake, he must learn to take full responsibility for his actions.

If he habitually oversleeps, don’t drive him to school each time.

If he forgets to bring his homework to school time and time again, don’t bring it to school for him.

If he breaks the school rules repeatedly, don’t intervene to prevent him from getting punished.

It’s important to show your teenager grace, but not at the expense of helping him to understand that choices lead to consequences.

15. Whenever possible, give them choices.

Nobody likes to feel as though they’re being forced into doing something, especially teenagers.

Teenagers crave a sense of autonomy and control. So, whenever possible, give them a choice, e.g., when they’d prefer to do their homework, what food they’d like to eat, what they’d like to do as a family.

(Of course, I’m not suggesting that you bend over backwards to satisfy any ridiculous requests!)

16. Acknowledge their good behavior.

Rather than point out your teenager’s flaws, make an intentional effort to acknowledge her good behavior.

After all, teenagers can’t be nagged into changing their behavior.

The more effective approach is to make a remark like “I notice that you were focused today while doing your homework” or “Thank you for putting your dirty clothes in the laundry basket.”

In the long run, the behavior you focus on – whether good or bad – will multiply. So you might as well pay more attention to your teenager’s good behavior.

17. Choose the right time to talk about challenging issues.

Pick the right time to talk about serious issues related to grades, alcohol, sex, etc.

Schedule a time with your teenager in advance so that he doesn’t get caught off guard. And do your best to catch him at a time when he isn’t tired or cranky.

This will give you the best chance of having a productive conversation about the issue at hand.

18. Be vulnerable.

Dare to open up to your teenager. Share with her the mistakes you’ve made and the setbacks you’ve experienced. Explain to her what you’ve learned through the process of overcoming those challenges.

Opening up to your teenager shows your personal side. It will also make her feel more comfortable about sharing her struggles with you.

19. Show an interest in the things they care about.

You probably don’t share many of the same interests as your teenager. So make an effort to find out about his hobbies.

What type of music does he like?

Which shows does he follow?

Which YouTube channels is he subscribed to?

By showing an interest in the things your teenager cares about, you’ll build a stronger connection with him.

20. Have regular family meals.

Many studies have shown that having regular family meals is beneficial for the development of children and teenagers.

Eating together as a family has been linked to:

Lower incidence of substance abuse
Lower incidence of depression
Lower incidence of eating disorders
Improved academic performance
Higher self-esteem

It may not be possible to eat together every night, but try to do so at least three or four times a week.

Conclusion

I know what you’re thinking . . . This is a lot of advice to soak in.

At this point, you may feel overwhelmed. You may even feel like you’ll never be the perfect parent to your teenager.

But remember, it’s about progress, not perfection.

I encourage you to revisit this article often. When doing so, ask yourself these questions:

How many of these tips have I implemented?
Which tips have worked?
Which tips haven’t worked?
What can I do differently in the coming week or month?

As you identify what’s working and what isn’t, you’ll find yourself growing into a parent who knows how to bring out the best in your teenager.

Parenting teenagers is hard work, but I know you have what it takes to do a great job!

(If you haven’t already done so, make sure to download your free e-book below.)

FREE E-BOOK:

Get your FREE copy of

16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.

The e-book has already been downloaded by many thousands of parents, so don't miss out!