30 Organisational Tips for School (Finally Become an Organised Student!)

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 41 Comments

Life as a student is busy.

So when you’re in school, applying organisational tips can have a big impact on how you perform.

If you’re not organised and you feel like you’re not on top of things, you’ll be stressed.

You might end up working late and sleeping less, but this isn’t a good idea.

Getting organised for school is all about developing good study habits and systems.

Through my experiences, I’ve come up with these 30 simple tips that will help students to become structured, productive, and effective.

FREE BONUS

Enter your email below to download a PDF summary of this article. The PDF contains all the tips found here, plus 3 exclusive bonus tips that you’ll only find in the PDF.

How to be organised in school (and outside of school, too)

These school-related organisational tips are all about using systems and routines to stay on track.

Implementing these tips will enable you to get your work done on time, be fully prepared for tests, and still have time to relax.

1. Develop a routine

Consistency is the key to student success. So write down your general weekly schedule and create a routine.

Include things like when you’ll do your homework, when you’ll review the things you’ve learned, when you’ll exercise, and so on.

It’s not possible to stick to a routine 100% of the time, but at least set up the framework to keep you focused and on track.

2. Set rules for yourself

Set some very specific rules for yourself. These could be things like “complete all projects and assignments at least two days before they are due” or “start studying for tests at least one week in advance”.

Review your rules once a month and adjust them if necessary.

3. Write everything down

No one has a perfect memory, and trying to remember everything is stressful. So make a habit of writing down all your events, meetings, ideas, and things you need to do.

Use a notebook or planner, or try an app like Google Keep or Any.do that you can use on your phone and computer.

To be organised in school, choose the method you’ll use most consistently.

When you write everything down, you’ll be less anxious because you won’t be relying on your brain as a storage device.

4. Create your own deadline that is before the actual deadline

Create your own deadlines and put them in your planner or calendar. Having your own deadline reduces stress for you as a student. You’ll also be more likely to submit your best work.

Don’t treat the actual deadline as the deadline. Set your own deadline one or two days before, and plan accordingly.

This will help you because you probably already experience enough stress related to taking tests and exams!

5. Work on one task at a time; don’t multitask

One of the most important organisational tips for students is to focus on one task at a time.

Multitasking seems like a good idea because you can pretend that you’re working twice as hard.

We all get bored of the tasks we’re working on, so jumping about seems more fun.

The problem is that it doesn’t result in the best outcomes.

Here’s what I recommend: Take a scrap piece of paper and write down the task you’re working on right now, e.g. Math assignment, questions 1 to 5.

Put that scrap piece of paper on your study table, to serve as a reminder for you to stay focused on the task at hand.

6. Use the following websites and apps . . .

Test out the following websites and apps to make studying fun, keep you organised, and remove distractions.

Habitica

Habitica is an app that turns your goals into a fun game. It makes it more likely that you’ll stick to your goals and enjoy the process too.

MyStudyLife

This app replaces a planner and helps you organise your schedule, tasks and exam preparation. It also sends you reminders of upcoming events.

7. Use a planner

I recommend that you put the planner on your desk once you get to class and leave it there throughout the school day. This makes it more likely that you’ll use it because it’s right in front of you.

If you leave your planner in your backpack, you may feel like it’s too troublesome to take it out to use.

Put everything in your planner: homework, test and exam dates, family events, social events, etc. This way, you’ll be far more organised.

If you’re allowed to use your phone or computer in class, then you can use Google Calendar, Google Keep, or MyStudyLife instead of a hard copy planner.

8. Declutter once a week

Your physical space should be organised for things to do with school, including your notes and assignments.

At the end of each week, look through all the papers, notes, brochures, and other things you’ve accumulated. Recycle or throw away all the things you don’t need.

Clutter attracts clutter. So if you declutter once a week, you’ll be more likely to stay organised in general. You’ll also find it easier to stay focused.

9. Put sticky notes on the front door to help you remember things

You can use this organisational tip for school-related things you don’t want to forget, such as bringing an extra T-shirt or asking your parents to sign a consent form.

Put a sticky note on the front door. The note can have just the key word written on it, like “T-shirt” or “Form”. This will make it almost guaranteed that you’ll remember.

10. Keep one notebook and one binder for each subject

Take all your notes for one subject in one notebook. When you run out of space, start a new notebook. Label each notebook clearly, e.g. History Notebook 1, History Notebook 2. This will make it easy for you to find the information you need in the future.

Doing this will help you stay organised in school.

I discourage you from taking notes on loose sheets of paper. I also discourage you from using only one notebook, in which you take notes across all your different subjects.

Make a habit of keeping one binder for each subject and filing your assignments and printed notes according to type. File all your assignments together in sequential order, followed by your printed notes, which should also be filed together in sequential order.

(Here are some tips on how to properly take notes.)

11. Bring an accordion folder to school every day

This accordion folder is for your daily use.

Create one section of the accordion folder for each subject, and label each section clearly.

I recommend reserving the front section for incomplete homework, so the homework will be easy to find.

12. Do filing once a week

At the end of each week, transfer all the printed notes, assignments, etc. from the accordion folder to the respective subject’s binder.

Doing this weekly is a good practice, to ensure that your accordion folder doesn’t get too full or messy.

13. Do five minutes of daily planning each day

Before you start doing your homework or studying for a test, look at your planner first. Take note of all upcoming deadlines, and think about your schedule for the rest of the day.

Then you can decide what specific tasks to work on for the day. Doing daily planning will ensure that you’re always working on the most important tasks, and that you don’t leave anything out.

14. Learn to say no

Organisational tips can help you balance your school life with other activities, but only up to a point.

If you want to be an organised, effective student, you can’t say yes to everything – there will always be trade-offs you’ll need to make.

So decide on the boundaries you want to set for yourself. Decide how many times you’ll go out with your friends each week, how many days each week you’ll devote to extracurricular activities, and what your priorities are.

Then practise saying no to protect these boundaries. And don’t feel guilty when you say no! Remember, it’s not about being a busy student; it’s about being an effective student.

15. Block out time in your schedule for the things that matter most

Blocking out time in your schedule is a critical time management strategy for students.

If you don’t do this, other things which are less important will fill your schedule.

In your calendar or planner, block out time for things like family events, religious activities, volunteering, and studying.

Then honour these commitments and stick to your schedule as much as possible.

16. Break down big tasks into smaller tasks

Breaking down big tasks and projects makes them seem less overwhelming and more manageable.

Doing this also makes it clearer what your specific next step is, so you’ll be less likely to procrastinate on your assignments.

Here’s an example. Rather than telling yourself that you need to write your paper fast, break it down into smaller tasks like:

Read 10 articles on the topic for research
Write outline
Write introduction
Write main point #1
Write main point #2
Write main point #3
Write conclusion
Proofread the paper
Adjust the formatting, layout, etc. of the paper
Submit paper

17. Once a week, review the upcoming events in your planner/calendar

Each week, take a few minutes to see what important events and deadlines are coming up over the next month. This will help to ensure that you don’t overlook any important projects, tests, or assignments.

Reviewing your schedule helps you to stay on top of things. It also keeps you calm and in control, and allows you to adjust your daily and weekly priorities.

18. If a task takes two minutes or less to do, do it immediately

The “two-minute rule” was popularised by productivity expert David Allen. When you follow this rule, small tasks don’t pile up and become overwhelming.

Things like texting a friend, sending your classmate some information via email, or asking your parents to sign a consent form are all quick tasks that take less than two minutes to complete.

When you do these tasks immediately, you’ll feel a sense of achievement too.

19. Clear your desk at the end of each day

This organisational tip only takes a minute to do and prevents clutter from building up. I recommend doing this when you’re done with your homework or studying for the day.

It will make it easier for you to find what you need when you next sit down to work.

In addition, when you have a neat desk, you’ll concentrate better and feel more motivated to study.

20. Develop a specific plan for every upcoming test and exam

Don’t just tell yourself that you’ll study hard for the test or exam.

That’s too vague, and you may feel as if you’re never prepared enough.

Instead, develop a plan. Write down what resources you’re going to use, how many practice questions or exam papers you intend to do, how many times you plan to read the notes, what study tips you’ll put into practice, etc.

Write all the steps down on a sheet of paper and create a rough timeline as well.

When you’ve completed everything on your plan, you’ll know that you’re well prepared. By always having a plan, you’ll learn faster and be more efficient.

21. Create a conducive environment at home for studying

To be an effective and organised student, set up a dedicated study area at home.

You need to have the right environment to work. You need all the necessary materials, stationery, paper and study tools. You also need a suitable table and lamp.

And if you want to be productive, you definitely shouldn’t study on your bed! That’s one of the most common reasons for feeling sleepy while studying.

22. Before you start work, eliminate all distractions

Take a moment and think about the distractions you typically face when you’re trying to study. Common ones include text messages, notifications on your phone, social media, YouTube, books, and magazines.

Remove these distractions before you get to work. Put your phone in another room, turn off Internet access on your computer, and put the books and magazines at the other end of the room.

23. Use a stopwatch or timer

School organisational tips include making the most of your time.

When you want to have a productive study session, use a timer to help you focus. Using a timer adds a sense of urgency.

Try working in blocks of 30 to 40 minutes, followed by a short break. If you’re up for it, set a timer for your breaks too, so that you don’t take a 45-minute break when you only intended to take a 10-minute break.

24. Double-check that you’ve completed all the homework that’s due the next day

Set a recurring reminder so that you’ll do this every school day in the mid-afternoon.

This will prevent you from scrambling at the last minute or pulling an all-nighter just to get the assignment done.

25. Every day, review all the new information you learned in school earlier that day

A quick review of the key concepts should only take you about 20 minutes.

Doing this helps to ensure understanding, so you stay on top of the material.

If you really can’t do this review on the same day, do it the following day while the information is still fresh in your mind.

26. Keep an ongoing list of the questions you have about the class material

As you read your notes and the textbook, keep a list of the things you don’t understand and the questions you have. As soon as you’re able to, ask your teachers about the items on your list.

If you do this consistently, you won’t need to spend so much time studying for tests and exams, because you already understand the information.

27. Every school night, pack your backpack for the following day

This way, you won’t have to scramble in the morning to pack. Set a reminder on your phone or put a Post-It note on your desk to ensure that you do this every school night.

Create a checklist for the things you need to remember to bring to school, and put the checklist somewhere accessible.

28. Wake up a little bit earlier each morning so you don’t have to rush

For most students, waking up 5 to 10 minutes earlier is enough to avoid the unnecessary stress of rushing in the morning.

When you rush, you often forget things – which means that your day doesn’t start well. Top students go to bed early, get at least eight hours of sleep every night, and set their alarm so they wake up a bit earlier.

I recommend that you put the alarm clock at the other end of the room, so you won’t be tempted to snooze. I also recommend using the Alarmy app if you use your phone as an alarm clock. It’s the best alarm clock app I’ve ever used!

You can get Alarmy for your Android or iOS device.

29. Every school night, pick out the clothes you’re going to wear the following day

If you wear a school uniform to go to school, then this organisational tip is easy to apply. But it still saves you time.

Take your school uniform or the clothes you’ll wear the following day, and hang them somewhere easily accessible, like on the door knob of your room door.

This only takes you a minute to do, but makes the morning that much less stressful.

30. Make your bed every morning

This is a small victory to start the day.

It sets the tone for the day and will help you to be more productive overall.

Even this US Navy admiral recommends this simple tip as a way of improving your motivation and focus!

Get organised for school, one step at a time

This is a long article that might leave you feeling overwhelmed, especially if you’re not already an organised student.

So take one step at a time.

Start by identifying which areas you need to work on, and then prioritise them.

Adopt one new habit in the coming week. Once you’re comfortable with that habit, adopt one more.

Remember that no one is perfect. Your journey as a student – and in life, too – is always about progress, not perfection.

Start making progress toward becoming an organised and focused student today!

Like this article? Please share it with your friends.

FREE BONUS

Enter your email below to download a PDF summary of this article. The PDF contains all the tips found here, plus 3 exclusive bonus tips that you’ll only find in the PDF.

30 Unimportant Things That Young People Should Stop Worrying About

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 31 Comments

Let’s be honest.

We all spend time thinking about or doing unimportant things.

It can take a lot of time and energy, and it distracts us from the things that do matter.

Children and teenagers are particularly prone to this. I admit that I was definitely like this when I was younger as well!

I’ve spoken to and worked with more than 20,000 students thus far. Based on my experiences and observations, I’ve come up with this list of things that young people need to realise are not important in life.

1. How many friends or followers you have on social media

Many people measure their self-worth by the number of friends or followers they have on social media, but this isn’t important in the long run.

Those followers won’t help you when you have a rough day, and they won’t support you when you’re feeling down.

They’ll just post images to show the best parts of their lives – too much time spent on social media leads to depression for this very reason.

2. How many “likes” you get on social media

The number of “likes” or comments on a social media post can seem important. It can seem like an indication of your popularity.

You get a small dopamine hit every time you get a “thumbs up”, which explains why social media is so addictive.

The thing to remember is that the number of likes you get isn’t nearly as important as the number of true friends you have. Nor is it as important as the relationships you have with your family members.

3. Living in the past

Everyone can get caught up living in the past. Either reliving the good times, or rehashing mistakes you’ve made.

According to research conducted by Matt Killingsworth, we’re happiest when we live in the moment.

So make the decision to be fully present wherever you are.

4. Being constantly connected to the Internet

People experience fatigue, stress and depression because of excessive technology use. It can make it more difficult to get to sleep and can even lead to mental health issues.

It might be challenging, but try to find balance between time spent online and time spent in the real world.

You’re far more likely to be healthy and happy if you engage with other people face to face, as well as lead a balanced life.

5. Comparing yourself with others

This is an easy trap to fall into, but it rarely leads to anything good. When you compare yourself to other people you’re likely to feel inferior.

Instead of comparing yourself with others, focus on ways that you can improve yourself or your situation so you feel more empowered.

6. Being obsessed about having nice “stuff”

It’s easy to think about all your friends who have nicer gadgets and clothes than you.

The best way to deal with this obsession is to think more holistically about the other person’s life.

Consider whether they’re truly happy, or whether they have strong relationships. Often, having nice stuff conceals unhappiness that exists at a deeper level.

7. Being better than other people

We’re always going to be better than some people at some things, and worse than some people at other things.

But life isn’t a race; it’s a journey. Each of us is unique, so we ought to strive to make the most of our gifts and talents.

Life is more about being the best that we can be, and less about being better than others.

8. Holding on to anger and resentment

Malachy McCourt said, “Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” It’s true that anger and resentment slowly destroy your life if you hold on to them.

Instead of holding on to anger, seek healthy outlets to help you deal with it effectively so you can move on with your life.

9. Being fake

It’s easy to put up a front to try to appear more like your friends, or to gain the approval of your peers.

The problem is that you’re trying to be something you’re not. You’re lying to others and yourself and it will become obvious over time.

It’s far better to be honest and authentic, even though this takes courage and will make you feel uncomfortable – at least at the start.

10. Winning every argument you get into

Winning an argument can make it seem like you’re smarter and stronger than the other person.

But the desire to win every argument you get into isn’t healthy in the long term.

So learn other ways of dealing with conflict. Often, it’s a good idea to just walk away from an argument if it gets too heated.

11. The latest celebrity news or gossip

It can seem important to know about the latest celebrity gossip, especially if your friends frequently talk about these issues.

You might feel excluded from conversations if you don’t know what’s going on.

But there are many other productive things you could be doing with your time, e.g. learning a new skill, reading a book, taking an online course.

12. What people think of you (especially people you don’t know)

We all want to be well-liked. Caring about what others think of us is natural, but you must not center your behaviour on others’ opinions.

We must remember that we should always strive to gain approval from a very important person: ourselves. It’s when we’re growing in commitment and courage that we’ll feel proud of who we are.

13. Trying too hard to fit in

Everyone wants to fit in and be accepted.

The best way to become an authentic, likeable person is to relax and just be yourself.

No one can be liked by everyone else all the time, so focus on becoming the best version of yourself.

14. Being unnecessarily busy

Society has come to see busyness as a badge of honour. Busy people appear important and influential, but it’s not healthy to be rushing all the time.

Being busy isn’t about being occupied. It’s about being focused, productive and effective. It’s also about taking time out to relax, because time off makes us more productive.

15. Labelling and categorising others

When we label other people it’s rarely helpful. It’s just another way of criticising other people in the hope that it will make us feel better about ourselves.

Instead, ask yourself why you label others. Is it because you feel insecure in some way?

If you come to terms with the fact that there are different people in the world and that no one is “superior” to anyone else, you’ll feel more confident.

16. Blaming others

Blaming other people is often easier than accepting responsibility for your actions.

Rather than blaming others when a problem arises, adopt a “fix it” mentality and focus on finding solutions.

Life is all about choices and consequences. Focusing on solutions rather than laying blame will make you a happier – and better – person.

17. Worrying about the future

Instead of worrying, concentrate on planning.

Worrying is about imagining bad things that may or may not happen, whereas planning is about focusing on things that are within your control.

When you’re planning, you’re considering ways to make success as likely as possible. This is empowering, which explains why the happiest and most successful people I know are all planners!

18. Focusing too much on achievement

Achievement is important, but it’s more important to focus on contribution instead.

We can gain great satisfaction from helping others and solving problems in the world.

It’s crucial to remember that life isn’t just about achievement. It’s also about slowing down, building meaningful relationships, and making a difference in the lives of others.

19. Envying others

It’s easy to envy other people, but often we only see a small portion of their lives.

You might envy someone who always seems to have the latest accessories and clothes.

But if you find out that they receive these things because their parents fight all the time and give gifts out of guilt, you’ll realise their life isn’t as enviable as you once thought.

20. Having fun all the time

Fun is a vital part of life, but it’s not everything. In order to really value the fun times we need some contrast, too.

We need to experience challenges and frustrations so that we can fully appreciate the good times.

Those times when you have to draw on your courage or follow through on your commitments make the fun times so much more memorable.

We also gain fulfilment from overcoming life’s challenges.

21. Constantly seeking the approval of others

Constantly seeking approval from others isn’t healthy for our self-esteem.

Doing so implies that we’re not good enough, so we have to constantly check that we’re doing okay.

You might try too hard to get others to like you – and they might even get annoyed.

So don’t worry so much about whether other people approve of you. Instead, focus on living according to the right values and principles.

22. Criticising yourself too much

The problem with criticising yourself too much is that other people start to believe your criticism.

It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, which further affects your self-confidence.

If you’re prone to self-criticism, try and catch yourself before you speak those words of criticism and turn the comment around.

Tell yourself – and others – how hard you tried and what steps you’ll take to ensure a better outcome in the future.

23. Being perfect

There’s no such thing as a perfect person – everyone makes mistakes.

Instead of trying to be perfect, focus on developing and improving yourself.

When you continually strive to become a better version of yourself, you’ll gain confidence. That’s the power of focusing on progress, not perfection.

24. Bragging

Giving yourself a little praise for a job well done is fine, but when it turns into full-blown bragging it’s a problem.

People who brag about themselves get a reputation for being all talk, but little substance.

Instead of bragging about how great you are, get out there and do something remarkable.

Taking action and achieving results brings greater satisfaction than telling everyone how good you are.

25. Spending time with toxic people

Spending time with toxic people can make life “interesting” in many ways, but it’s also destructive.

Toxic people damage your self-esteem and distract you from the things that matter in life. So live according to the right principles and stay as far away from toxic people as you can.

26. Having a constant fear of missing out

No one likes missing out. But the fact is that we all have to miss out on things from time to time. There’s no use worrying about missing out.

The best thing you can do is enjoy the times you do spend with your friends, without constantly being anxious about the fun opportunities you might miss out on.

27. Achieving success on someone else’s terms

Success is only sweet when we achieve it on our own terms, and when our success is focused on adding value to others.

It takes courage and commitment to set your own goals, but it’s the only way to find real success.

Other people may criticise you for being foolish, but their negative comments often reflect their own insecurities.

Decide what success means to you at a personal level, and don’t let societal pressure influence you to be somebody you don’t want to be.

28. Getting involved in drama

Instead of getting involved in unnecessary drama, put yourself on a “drama diet” – let other people own their own problems.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t help them out, but don’t allow yourself to get sucked in emotionally.

You’ll find that your life is a lot more peaceful and enjoyable when it’s less “dramatic”.

29. Being happy all the time

Everybody wants to be happy, but it’s impossible to be happy all the time.

At the end of the day, what we really want is to lead a meaningful life.

In order to do this, we may need to go through periods where we make sacrifices or feel temporarily unhappy.

The good news is that this makes the good times even more precious!

30. Appearing smart

If you’re too concerned about looking smart, you won’t take on so many challenges.

You also won’t ask so many questions for fear of appearing dumb.

All of this will affect your own development.

So don’t be afraid to ask questions or take on new challenges, because this is the only way to grow as a person.

What is most important in life?

Understanding at a deep level what’s important in life helps you to be more focused and less anxious about unimportant things.

Knowing what’s important in life helps you to be more focused and less anxious.

You’ll also be able to save your energy for significant matters.

The next time you find yourself being stressed, take a step back and ask yourself these questions:

Is this going to matter in a year?
Will I even remember this in a year?
Will this help me to grow as a person?
Is this in line with my values and long-term goals?

If the answer to these questions is “no”, then chances are it’s not actually important.

Let it go and focus on the things that do matter.

Adopt this approach day by day, and you’ll see huge changes in your life over time!

Like this article? Please share it with your friends.

10 Common Parenting Mistakes That Demotivate Your Children

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 36 Comments

Wouldn’t it be great if your children were motivated and independent learners?

That way, you wouldn’t have to nag or scold them to do their homework.

Parents often tell me how frustrated they are that their teens hate school.

They’re also concerned that this lack of motivation will carry over to other areas of life.

The problem is that parents often demotivate their children unintentionally.

Here are 10 of the most common mistakes parents make – so do your best to avoid them in your home.

(Don’t forget to download your free e-book below.)

FREE E-BOOK:

Get your FREE copy of

16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.

The e-book has already been downloaded by many thousands of parents, so don't miss out!

Mistake #1: Give your children too many rewards based on achievement or behaviour

This is a trap that many parents fall into, and for good reason. The first time you try it, it seems to work.

You might tell your children that you’ll pay them a dollar each time they get more than 85% for a class test. This seems to work because they start studying harder.

You think to yourself, “Great. Problem solved!”

Then a few weeks later you realise their motivation has waned. They complain that getting a good grade deserves more than one dollar.

An argument breaks out, and you find yourself justifying the price. You even explain that studying hard is their basic responsibility as a student.

If this describes your situation, you’re not alone.

Many studies show that rewards and punishments work in the short term, but not in the long term.

(Read on to find out what other approaches you can try instead.)

Mistake #2: Overemphasise the importance of academics

Parents think that emphasising the importance of academics will motivate their children to work hard.

The problem is that this approach doesn’t turn your children into lifelong learners.

Learning isn’t just about getting good grades. It’s also about enjoying the process.

When children enjoy learning, they become motivated to keep on learning.

Grades can affect your job prospects, but many great leaders weren’t great students. Unfortunately, many of the students I’ve worked with tell me that their parents seem to think that grades are the only thing that matters.

We now know that there are many different types of intelligence and that the education system only measures some of these.

All parents would agree that social skills, character development, and learning to relax and reflect are also important areas of focus.

When parents dismiss their children’s hobbies and games as a waste of time, they hurt their children’s feelings and damage the parent-child relationship.

Parents must value and respect their children’s activities. Dance and sport can improve kinaesthetic intelligence, and games and discussions can boost intrapersonal intelligence.

These are vital skills for children to learn and carry with them through life.

Mistake #3: Supervise your children too closely

Micromanaging your children produces similar results to micromanaging employees.

It builds resentment, damages relationships, and robs children of valuable learning experiences.

When children have the opportunity to plan their own work and take responsibility for their actions, they become more mature and wise.

They also develop independence and organisational skills that will benefit them in school and beyond.

Children who take responsibility for their actions come to understand that they have control over their life. They learn that they have the ability to create their own success in school and beyond.

Let your children know you’re there for them if they need support. But make it clear that they shouldn’t look to you for all the answers.

If they need help, provide strategies they can use to find the answers themselves.

Parents who think of themselves as facilitators rather than supervisors foster self-sufficiency in their children.

Mistake #4: Fail to create a family culture of learning

You’ve probably noticed that children copy what their parents do, more so than what their parents say.

Children are observational learners, so family culture has a big influence on your children’s mindset.

When it comes to your children’s learning, one of the most effective things you can do is to create a family culture of learning.

If your children see that you enjoy acquiring new skills and knowledge, they’re more likely to enjoy learning too.

Show your children how fun it is to be a lifelong learner, so they’ll see the value of education beyond grades.

Mistake #5: Allow power struggles to develop

It’s common for power struggles to develop at home.

They often happen over homework or what time the children wake up for school.

If this is happening in your family, take a step back and analyse the situation.

Often, the root of the problem is related to the parent-child relationship.

After all, you know that the more you nag, the less it will help the situation.

The better approach is to focus on rebuilding the relationship and your child’s sense of self-worth.

A strong parent-child relationship brings many advantages. In fact, Shawn Anchor, author of The Happiness Advantage, has found that the brain functions more optimally when you’re feeling positive.

Mistake #6: Set rules without first discussing them with your children

No one likes to feel powerless or as though they have little control over their lives.

Think about how you’d feel if you were told what to wear, how much TV you could watch, and when you could use your phone.

It’s reasonable to have rules at home, but I recommend that you first discuss them with your children.

Workplaces that introduce strict rules without consulting their staff often find that their staff have started to rebel.

You can avoid a mutiny at home by bringing up the matter with your children before laying down the law.

Whenever possible, have a brainstorming session where you share your concerns with your children.

Your children may even propose better guidelines than you could have thought of, so be sure to listen to their opinions.

Taking this approach will mean less frustration for everyone involved.

In addition, your children will be more likely to adhere to the rules in the long run too.

Mistake #7: Overemphasise the importance of achievement instead of contribution

Schools tend to emphasise the importance of academic results. This is a practical aspect of the education system, but grades aren’t everything.

Good grades aren’t even an accurate predictor of success. The best predictor of success isn’t good grades or a high IQ, but rather emotional intelligence.

Parents must emphasise to their children that life is about much more than grades or accomplishments.

It’s about acquiring skills and knowledge so that they can make a difference in the world.

Children can start to develop this mindset by doing something like volunteering to tutor younger students. This type of experience will show them that their knowledge can be used to help others.

As a result, these children will begin to have a greater sense of purpose. They’ll begin to look beyond themselves and be less inclined to obsess over their achievements.

Mistake #8: Talk as if your children are never putting in enough effort

Some parents continually tell their children that they should focus better, work harder, apply more proven study tips, and spend less time online.

These parents have good intentions, but their actions cause their children to feel as if there’s no point in giving their best effort.

The children may even feel as though they’ll never be good enough to meet their parents’ expectations.

People who believe they’re incompetent become incompetent. As Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.”

Telling your children that they’re not putting in enough effort reduces their motivation.

What’s the alternative?

Try some inspiration and positivity instead.

Remind them of when their efforts paid off and help them to reflect on their behaviour in a non-judgmental way.

It’s important to foster a strong sense of self-worth in your children so they know they have the ability to succeed if they try hard.

Mistake #9: Fail to acknowledge your children’s progress and good behaviour

Your children care about what you think, whether they show it or not.

When you acknowledge your children’s efforts and progress, they’ll feel more motivated.

Telling them that you appreciate that they fed the dog without being asked, or that they made their own lunch for school, encourages them to repeat the behaviour.

Even if they didn’t quite achieve what they set out to, focus on the progress they made.

Let them know that you see an improvement in their handwriting from all their practice, or that you’re proud of them for submitting their homework on time.

Avoid focusing on their abilities and intelligence. Instead, emphasise things related to their attitude and effort. This will lead to more sustained motivation down the road.

Mistake #10: Focus on your children’s behaviour without getting to the root of the problem

Parents often focus on their children’s bad habits or behaviour without digging deeper.

When children aren’t working hard enough or are behaving poorly, there are usually other factors at play.

Children who feel discouraged, overwhelmed, or worthless usually feel that they don’t deserve to be treated kindly.

They go out of their way to behave badly because they feel terrible about themselves.

This cycle is like a form of self-harm. It’s like the child is saying, “I don’t deserve to be loved, so I’ll behave badly. That way I’ll get what I deserve.”

Focusing on the behaviour doesn’t help; the underlying issue must be addressed.

Show your children that you’re always ready to listen. When they eventually share their struggles, you’ll be able to get to the heart of the issue and solve the problem.

Conclusion

We parent our children while we’re rushing out the door in the morning, or trying to get everyone fed.

As such, it’s easy to make the sorts of mistakes that demotivate our children.

Instead of feeling guilty, take action. Review the list of mistakes in this article once more, and identify the ones you’ve been making.

Take a few minutes to create an action plan.

How can you start motivating your children?

What steps can you take to inspire them to be their best?

How can you demonstrate the behaviours that you want to see in your children?

As you implement your plan, you’ll see improvements in your parent-child relationship and in your children’s behaviour too.

It’ll take work on your part, but it’ll be worth it!

(If you haven’t already done so, make sure to download your free e-book below.)

FREE E-BOOK:

Get your FREE copy of

16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.

The e-book has already been downloaded by many thousands of parents, so don't miss out!

How to Raise a Confident Child: 15 Tips for Parents

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 18 Comments

If you’re wondering how to raise a confident child, you’re not alone.

Parents often tell me they’re concerned about their children’s lack of confidence and how it will affect their future.

I know it’s painful to see your children struggling with self-esteem. They may shy away from challenges, dislike studying, or lack the courage to try new things.

You just want your children to be happy and successful — to chase their dreams and live meaningful, fulfilled lives.

So, you want to raise a confident child, but where do you start?

Remember this…

Confidence is a skill. Like any skill, there are specific steps your child can take to build confidence.

Plus, there are ways that you, as a parent, can help.

In this article, I’ll walk you through 15 ways to help your child develop confidence. If you apply the tips, you’ll start to see your child’s self-assurance grow.

Let’s get started!

(Don’t forget to download your free e-book below.)

FREE E-BOOK:

Get your FREE copy of

16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.

The e-book has already been downloaded by many thousands of parents, so don't miss out!

What causes low self-esteem in a child?

Before we discuss how to raise a confident child, it’s important to understand the potential causes of low self-esteem.

Most children will experience dips in self-confidence from time to time.

Is your child attending a new school?

Did your child move to a different city?

Each time children experience changes, their confidence is put to the test. They must learn how to grow outside their comfort zones. When they navigate these challenges successfully, their confidence develops.

Sometimes, though, children struggle to overcome difficulties and external pressures. Negative messages stick. Issues at home and school become more challenging to manage.

This is when low self-esteem sneaks up, and smart kids might end up getting bad grades. Children might begin to believe they aren’t “good enough”.

When we know what causes low self-esteem, we can help our children overcome it.

Here are a few potential explanations:

Comparing themselves to others

She’s so pretty. He’s so smart. Her life is perfect.

Is your child doing too much comparing? And is it helping or hindering your child’s growth?

Too much social comparison can cause children to feel inferior — as if they’ll never be as good as those around them.

Plus, in our age of information overload, children are bombarded with messages every time they look at their phones. Flawlessly curated social media feeds can lead to a “perfect storm of self-doubt”.

Increasing performance pressure

As children progress in school, performance pressure increases, too.

There are more tests, more extracurricular activities, more group projects, and more homework assignments.

Many kids feel like they can’t drop a single ball — even though they’re still learning to handle the mounting responsibilities.

If you want to learn how to raise a confident child, prioritise the process over the outcome. This is a big topic, so we’ll explore process-oriented praise in more detail below.

Perceived disapproval

Most children don’t want to disappoint their parents or teachers. Now, I know some of you with teenagers might find that hard to believe! But it’s true.

Even adolescents seek approval from authority figures. When teenagers believe they’re continually disappointing the adults they respect, their self-esteem suffers.

How important is confidence as your children are growing up?

How essential is it to learn how to raise a confident child?

According to psychologist Carl Pickhardt, it might be one of the greatest gifts you can give your child.

When children lack confidence, they’re reluctant to try new things. They’re scared of failing and disappointing others.

“The enemies of confidence are discouragement and fear,” Pickhardt says. “So, as a parent, it’s your job to encourage and support your children as they attempt to tackle difficult tasks.”

Confident children know that failure is okay, so long as they learn from their mistakes and try again. They build resilience and, ultimately, make strides towards their academic goals and beyond.

It’s okay if your child struggles with self-confidence. We’re not trying to “fix” self-esteem issues but rather provide tools that allow your child to face new challenges and opportunities.

15 tips to build confidence in your kids

Now that we’ve discussed a few causes of low self-esteem and why self-esteem matters, here are my top 15 tips for how to raise a confident child.

1. Give them responsibilities

One easy way to foster self-confidence in children is to give them responsibilities. Try essential but straightforward tasks, things like helping you cook dinner or taking care of a younger sibling.

Children thrive when they have a role to play — when they know they are an integral part of the family.

Research by Dr. Marty Rossmann shows that children who help out with household chores do better in school and are more empathetic and caring.

Give your children jobs to take care of regularly, and they’ll become dependable, conscientious, and confident.

2. Share your own struggles with them

Everyone makes mistakes. As adults, we know this. But our kids are still learning.

You can help your children understand that it’s normal to face challenges by sharing your difficulties with them.

Tell your kids about your problems at work or with your friendships. Let them know about the difficulties you face and, more importantly, what you’re doing to overcome these challenges.

Your children will begin to realise it’s okay to be vulnerable and that problems are not signs of weakness.

Brené Brown, acclaimed author and esteemed professor, says it best:

“Through my research, I found that vulnerability is the glue that holds relationships together. It’s the magic sauce.”

Your children’s confidence will improve when they hear about your challenges. They’ll accept challenges as a normal part of life and know that nothing worth doing comes easily.

3. Ask them for their opinion

When you ask others about their opinions, you’re letting them know you care about their thoughts and feelings.

So, if you want to learn how to raise a confident child, ask your kids for their opinions so they feel valued and respected.

Involve your children in reviewing their bedtimes, setting family rules, or deciding what’s for dinner. If you need to solve a problem, ask your kids for ideas! You might be surprised at how insightful they are, and how good they are at coming up with solutions.

When you ask your children for their opinions, they’ll start to feel like they’re not just a child or a teenager. They’ll believe they have the power to make an impact in the world around them.

4. Focus on the process, not the end result

Life isn’t about pursuing perfection. Instead, it’s about making progress.

We’re all continually learning new life skills. Success doesn’t mean getting things right the first time around. It’s about putting in the effort to show up day after day. To keep getting better, little by little.

It takes stamina, endurance, and tenacity to chase our goals and confront challenges head-on.

So, when you praise your children, focus on the process — not the outcome. Encourage your children by acknowledging the hard work that went into getting good grades and making various improvements.

Your children will learn it’s okay to make mistakes as they continue to grow their confidence.

5. Don’t rescue them

It’s never easy to see our children experience hardships or difficulties. But resist the urge to rescue them. It might make life easier in the short term, but it can create dependency issues later on.

The problem is this…

Rescuing your children from their struggles is like doing their homework for them. Your kids won’t learn the valuable life skills they need — traits like resourcefulness and persistence.

Instead, support and encourage your children to become responsible teenagers. Help them find strategies to solve their problems, but don’t do everything for them.

6. Ensure that the challenges are appropriate for their ability

Help your children become more confident by giving them achievable goals. It’s okay to stretch them a bit, but ensure the task is manageable.

Think about a two-year-old. You wouldn’t give a toddler a pair of shoes with laces and expect him or her to be able to tie them. Even with practice, a two-year-old doesn’t have the necessary fine motor skills. The task isn’t a good match for their abilities.

Here’s what I’ve learned from working with countless children and teenagers:

If the child succeeds about two-thirds of the time, it’s an appropriate challenge. Any less than that, the task is probably too hard.

7. Show respect to everyone

Children are constantly observing and learning from adults. They’ll treat people the way you do, so be kind.

If you show respect to others, regardless of income, social status, or body size, then your children will learn to do the same.

Model the behaviour you want to see in your children. Be intentional about demonstrating that character matters more than looks or popularity. Your children will learn that self-worth does not depend on external factors. And while they’re respecting others, they’ll learn to respect themselves more, too.

8. Become a more confident person yourself

Since your children are always observing you, let them see that you’re confident in your abilities.

Value positive self-talk. If your children hear you say you’re not good enough or that you can’t take on new challenges, they’ll start to adopt this mindset as well.

Instead, demonstrate that you’re willing to go outside your comfort zone.

Maybe you have a presentation at work, but you’re nervous about public speaking. That’s okay. Tell your children you’re a bit fearful. Then, let them see you face those fears.

You can also use Tip #3 here by asking for your children’s advice. How would they deal with the challenge of public speaking? What do they do to calm their nerves when they feel anxious?

Your children will start to learn that confidence is a skill, and you’ll grow together as a family.

9. Allow them to make choices

Many children have little control over their lives. We tell them what time to wake up, what to wear, what to eat, and how to schedule their days.

Here’s the problem…

Everyone feels powerless when they’re not able to make their own decisions.

When you give your children choices, they learn how to take responsibility for their actions and grow into confident adults.

Give your children choices in the day-to-day aspects of their lives. It can be as small a decision as choosing if they prefer a bath or a shower. It could be deciding what time of day they’d like to complete their homework, or which new test-taking strategies to learn.

These little choices add up to improve their self-esteem.

10. Show interest in the things they’re passionate about

Does your child want to spend hours writing stories, drawing, or creating YouTube videos?

What might look like a waste of time to us can be an important activity to our children.

Yes, children need boundaries. But they also need encouragement to pursue their passions.

Show an interest in their hobbies. Maybe even try out a few for yourself! Your children will understand they matter and that your love for them is unconditional — not performance-based.

11. Celebrate small victories

Celebrating achievements and small victories makes us feel good. We realise how far we’ve come, and we feel inspired to take on challenges in the future.

When your children make progress or overcome a fear, celebrate with them. The best celebrations involve doing something together as a family, like having a picnic or going to the park.

On a daily basis, make an effort to say positive things to your children. This will motivate them to do better in all aspects of their lives.

Celebrate your achievements, too, so your children acknowledge your progress and learn from your victories.

12. Manage your own anxiety

When you’re anxious, your children become anxious — and this affects their confidence and mental health.

If you’re worried, analyse your concerns and identify which ones are rational and which ones aren’t. Then, make a plan to deal with your worries.

Managing your anxiety helps reduce your children’s stress. Plus, you’ll set a good example and they’ll learn how to deal with worries the same way you do. Demonstrate that you can remain calm, and your children will develop this skill too.

13. Acknowledge their disappointment

Let’s face it: life is full of disappointments. You can’t shield your children from the discouragement they’ll feel at times.

Acknowledge that everyone has bad days. Let your children know it’s okay to feel sad, and that these feelings aren’t “wrong” or “bad”.

Don’t dismiss your child’s feelings. Instead, help them work through those feelings. Be patient, and remind your child that life is about developing perseverance and mental strength.

Once they’ve processed their negative feelings, your children will realise they’ve grown stronger and become resilient students.

14. Help them to look outside themselves

Children and teenagers who struggle with self-confidence tend to fixate on themselves.

They’re so focused on their problems and their flaws that they forget to develop gratitude. Help your children look outside themselves and see the bigger picture.

After all, everyone has obligations, responsibilities, and commitments. Help your children empathise with those around them.

Once they understand that life is about making a difference in the world and helping others, their mindset will shift. They’ll spend more time thinking about how they can contribute and less time on their insecurities.

As a result, your child’s problems won’t seem so overwhelming.

15. Do things with them, not for them

From as early an age as possible, encourage your children to do things independently. Try giving them simple tasks like:

Making breakfast
Getting drinks and snacks
Preparing their backpacks for school

If your children are too young to undertake a task like making dinner, get them to help by chopping vegetables and measuring ingredients. Or guide them as they follow a recipe.

This requires a lot of patience from you, the parent. But over time, your child will develop confidence and a greater sense of responsibility.

Develop confidence one step at a time

When learning how to improve your child’s self-esteem, take it one step at a time.

Think about the behaviour and attitude you model for your children, and make an effort to display confidence.

Give them responsibilities rather than rescuing them. Encourage them to treat others with respect. Get them involved in making decisions and celebrate their victories.

Before you know it, your children will be the confident, self-assured adults you always hoped they’d become!

(If you haven’t already done so, make sure to download your free e-book below.)

FREE E-BOOK:

Get your FREE copy of

16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.

The e-book has already been downloaded by many thousands of parents, so don't miss out!

Top 22 Useful Websites for Students

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 1 Comment

The Internet.

Is there a better gift for students?

It allows you to keep in touch with friends, and it also gives you something to do when you’ve completed your schoolwork.

Without the Internet, life would be more dull.

You might love the Internet as a way to relax, but there’s also a lot that it can do to help you improve your study habits and make you more successful.

The following list contains the top useful websites to enable you to get organized, develop new skills, and plan for the future.

So the next time you take a break, check out some of these websites!

FREE BONUS

Enter your email below to download a PDF summary of this article. The PDF also contains a bonus list of 5 mobile apps that every student should use.

Scheduling, Organization, and Personal Effectiveness

1. MyStudyLife

MyStudyLife is a free app that lets you coordinate your calendar and to-do list.

Designed especially for schools, this is a planner that can be customized for rotating schedules and long-term assignments.

You can even set up reminders about your homework due dates and store assignments in the cloud, so they’re always accessible.

2. Habitica

Habitica is a free app that turns your focused study goals into a game.

Do you want to study a certain number of minutes each day?

Or do you want to finally get down to writing that English essay?

Add it as a goal to Habitica, and it turns into a monster to be slain in the game.

You’ll also get to work with groups of like-minded students, which will make your schoolwork more fun.

3. Todoist

Todoist is my favorite app for organizing my to-do list.

Its clean look keeps you focused, and the app allows you to organize tasks into categories like household chores, reading lists, and long-term projects.

You can access Todoist from any device, so you’ll always have your to-do list with you.

4. Google Calendar

In addition to an ongoing list of assignments, you also need to keep track of your busy schedule of extracurricular activities, family commitments, etc.

Google Calendar is an easy way to do that.

You can even set up alerts and reminders so that you’re always on top of things.

5. Dropbox

If you’re in love with Microsoft Word and don’t want to be limited by Google Docs, Dropbox is the perfect solution for you.

Once you set up a Dropbox account, you can access your work from any computer or device, so you can always get your work done.

You can also share documents with friends or group members — their edits show up instantly for convenient group work.

6. Slack

Speaking of group work, Slack is the app for getting projects done when you and your group members can’t all be together 24 hours a day.

Slack allows you to set up a dedicated space for group texts and document sharing, so you have everything you need in one place.

The app allows you to get your projects done without worrying about being able to coordinate schedules — which is nearly impossible when your friends are just as busy as you are.

Acquiring Knowledge and Skills

7. UnplugTheTV

If you need a break, you don’t have to watch mindless TV shows filled with commercials.

Instead, head over to UnplugTheTV.com, where you’ll find an informative and entertaining featured video explaining one of the world’s great mysteries.

There are at least two new videos added every day, so you’ll never get bored.

8. EdX

Want to take free college courses from some of the best universities in the world?

EdX makes it possible.

From music theory to computer programming, you can pursue your passions and get a head start on college skills from professors at Harvard, MIT, and Berkeley, to name just a few of the universities involved in the program.

9. Coursera

Like EdX, Coursera offers online classes taught by university professors and designed to give you a head start on college.

Though some lectures are available for free, full courses with feedback from professors carry a fee — but financial aid is available.

10. Udacity

If you love technology and want to be a maker, Udacity’s courses in coding and tech are for you.

The courses are designed for real-life work in the tech world.

Your school probably doesn’t offer any courses similar to these, so taking a Udacity course is an excellent way to get a jump on industry knowledge.

11. Academic Earth

Academic Earth is another website that offers plenty of online courses, with classes available in everything from accounting to sociology.

Academic Earth also provides an entertaining “Video Electives” section, as well as information on what to expect from a degree course in any subject.

This can help you to plan what you might want to study further down the road.

12. Codecademy

Codecademy has just one mission: to teach you to code.

Their interactive online courses are broken down into bite-sized lessons and cover topics such as building a web page and learning to code in different computer languages.

If you’ve ever wanted to create your own app or website, this is the perfect way to get started.

13. Lynda

Lynda is an online video library packed with instructional material on various topics.

A good deal of the content is aimed at entrepreneurs and businesspeople, but there are also computer literacy courses and creative options like Photoshop tutorials.

14. Udemy

Like many of these online course websites, Udemy offers a wide range of subjects in its library for a relatively small fee.

What sets Udemy apart is its easy-to-use app, which makes keeping coursework in your pocket a breeze.

They also have a good selection of personal development courses to teach you everything from speed-reading to leadership skills.

15. Instructables

Sometimes you just want to make something, whether it’s related to craft, food, or electronics.

Instructables are detailed, step-by-step directions to help you build just about anything.

It’s an especially good place to learn basic skills like cooking, sewing, and carpentry.

Resources for School

16. Khan Academy

Khan Academy is such a useful resource that your teachers may have already recommended it as a way of getting extra help with your academics.

They offer free online courses and videos. Because the videos are broken down by specific topics, it’s easy to get information on that grammar rule or complex science topic with just a quick search.

17. Koofers

Koofers has an incredible database of practice tests, flashcards, and study guides to help you prepare for exams.

Although it’s geared toward undergraduates, younger students can access the material to study for their own classes and get a taste of what to expect in the future.

18. SparkNotes

When you need help understanding that Shakespeare play or another work of literature assigned in class, SparkNotes is your go-to website.

They have detailed study guides to break down the plot, characters, and themes of just about anything your English teacher might assign.

SparkNotes also has guides for other subjects too.

Improving Writing

19. The Online Writing Lab (OWL)

This is a fantastic resource for everything you need to know about grammar, punctuation, and writing papers.

At the OWL, you’ll find in-depth descriptions and samples of works-cited formatting, as well as explanations of why certain grammar rules are important.

Free Books

20. The Online Books Page

This enormous database of free online books covers centuries of fiction and non-fiction, with new titles added regularly.

It’s a good place to begin in-depth research or browse for a new book by your favourite author. (If you’re looking for inspiration, here’s my list of the top 20 best books for students.)

Planning for Your Future Career

21. MyMajors

If you’re not sure what path to take in your future studies, MyMajors will help you figure it out.

Based on your answers to an aptitude test to determine your strengths and interests, you’ll get recommendations for courses of study and access to a database of universities.

22. ASVAB Career Exploration Program

When you’re totally focused on academics, it can be easy to forget that one day you’ll need to translate your knowledge and interests into a practical career.

This is where the ASVAB Career Exploration Program comes in.

It provides an interest inventory to take stock of how you like to spend your time, which will point you in the direction of careers that you’ll find enjoyable and engaging.

Conclusion

With all of these websites at your fingertips, it’s easier than ever to put your time on the Internet to good use. As a student, this is an important part of managing your time well.

Whether you plan to focus on doing well in the classes you’re taking or would rather explore a new topic of interest, there’s something on this list for everyone.

So the next time you have some free time, check out a few of these websites.

Turn this into part of your personal development plan, and you’ll be on your way to becoming a more organized, knowledgeable, and successful student!

Please “like” this article and share it with your friends.

FREE BONUS

Enter your email below to download a PDF summary of this article. The PDF also contains a bonus list of 5 mobile apps that every student should use.

20 Guaranteed Ways to Mess Up Your Children

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 4 Comments

Parenting is nerve-wracking.

You love your children and want them to grow up to be happy, successful adults.

But some days you’re not sure how to make that happen.

Sometimes you fear that something you’re doing or saying will mess them up permanently.

Here’s the good news: Part of great parenting is avoiding mistakes.

The even better news is that you don’t have to discover these mistakes for yourself.

I’ve worked with thousands of children and teenagers, and they’ve told me the mistakes their parents have made.

Here are 20 unintentional ways parents mess up their children, so start avoiding these behaviours today!

(Don’t forget to download your free e-book below.)

FREE E-BOOK:

Get your FREE copy of

16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.

The e-book has already been downloaded by many thousands of parents, so don't miss out!

Mistake #1: Frequently tell them that they’re not living up to their potential

Parents often mean well when they say this. They think it’ll encourage their children to work harder and become more focused.

Unfortunately, it has the opposite effect. It makes children feel like a failure.

It also makes children feel as though their parents only love them when they’re successful or working hard.

A more effective approach is to encourage your children to self-reflect.

After all, how they feel about themselves is more important than how others feel about them.

Mistake #2: Scold them harshly when they make unintentional mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes.

But when your children accidentally spill their juice or drop a plate, it’s important not to overreact.

Doing so can cause them to develop a fear of failure. They may start to think that making mistakes is bad.

But in truth, making mistakes is the way we learn.

So when your children make a mistake, stay calm and say something like, “It was an accident. Let’s clean it up.”

Mistake #3: Continually point out their flaws

Some parents continually point out the flaws in their children.

They say they’re too messy, they’re irresponsible, or they don’t work hard enough.

Constant criticism results in a serious reduction in self-esteem. The children may start to believe that they’re not good enough, and will never measure up to expectations.

To motivate your children, try a little inspiration instead.

Tell them what they’ve done well. When you notice their efforts in a specific area, they’ll feel good about themselves.

As such, they’ll be more likely to repeat that behaviour in the future.

Mistake #4: Overemphasise the importance of academics

Academic performance is important, but it’s not the only thing that matters.

Constantly asking, “Have you finished your homework?” is perceived as nagging. It won’t result in better grades, and your relationship with your children will suffer.

Instead, focus on strengthening your relationship, and on helping your children to develop a healthy self-esteem.

You want your children to become independent, confident, and resilient adults. So foster their confidence and they’ll be able to lead meaningful and successful lives.

Mistake #5: Praise them too much

Praise is important, but it’s a tricky thing.

Too much praise can give children a distorted sense of self. Your children may start to feel like they’re entitled to many things in life since they’re so “special”.

General praise isn’t helpful either. Saying things like “Good job” or “Well done” is too broad.

In order for praise to be effective it needs to be specific, so your children know exactly what they’ve done well. That way they can repeat the action in the future.

Try saying things like, “Thanks for taking the clothes out of the washing machine. That really helped me.” Or “You worked really hard on that paper. You should be proud of yourself.”

Mistake #6: Neglect your spouse and marriage

You might not realise it, but your marriage is critical to your children’s upbringing.

Children need to feel safe and secure. One of the best ways you can make them feel that way is to have a loving, supportive relationship with your spouse.

If you neglect your spouse and marriage, your home environment is likely to become tense.

No matter how well you might think you’re hiding it, your children will know. They may even start to avoid being at home.

Mistake #7: Talk as if you always know better than them

No one likes to have someone talk down to them, or to have someone treat them as though they know better.

And let’s face it, your children probably know more about the latest apps, technology, and pop culture than you do.

They have their own experience and perspective, and they deserve to be treated with respect.

If you take a humbler approach, and are willing to learn from them, you’ll find that your relationship will become much stronger.

Mistake #8: Don’t show an interest in the things they care about

Sometimes the things our children care about seem insignificant. Like the latest “who doesn’t like who” classroom drama, or the coolest social media app.

These things are insignificant to us, but they’re incredibly important to our children.

When parents don’t show an interest in the things their children care about, they feel dismissed. They may assume that we’re not interested in their lives – even though that’s not true.

They become far less likely to turn to us when they need help.

Mistake #9: Protect them from the consequences of their actions

When children forget their homework or their wallet, it’s tempting to fix the problem for them.

Doing this occasionally is fine, but doing this too often can cause significant problems. Children need to learn to deal with the consequences of their actions and learn from their mistakes.

As adults, no one protects us or bails us out. We’re forced to take full responsibility for our actions.

Children learn to take responsibility when we allow them to accept the consequences of their actions. Protecting them can rob them of this valuable experience.

Mistake #10: Don’t have regular family meals

Eating together even a few times a week can reap big rewards.

In fact, eating regular family meals can improve academic performance, self-esteem, and resilience.

Regular meals together can also lower the risk of:

Substance abuse
Teen pregnancy
Depression
Eating disorders
Obesity

If you want your children to reap these physical, mental, and emotional benefits, aim to have a family meal at least three or four times a week.

Mistake #11: Talk negatively about your spouse in front of them

Try not to talk negatively about your spouse in front of your children, as this is both unsettling and worrying for them.

While you don’t have to agree on everything, your children need to know that you and your spouse are a strong, united couple. They need to believe you have a committed, loving relationship.

If not, they may start to play one parent off against the other.

Mistake #12: Try to fulfill your unfulfilled dreams through them

Your children are not an opportunity to fulfill your unfulfilled dreams.

They’re individuals, not extensions of you. They may have many of your traits, but that doesn’t mean they have to follow your dreams.

They need to follow their own dreams and live their own life. As parents, it’s our role to support them to fulfill their dreams – not ours.

Mistake #13: Intentionally shame them

Some people think it’s appropriate to use shame as a form of punishment. They may embarrass their children in public when they’ve done the wrong thing.

This isn’t an effective way to teach children to behave, and it leads to emotional scarring. It’s also likely to result in the children repeating this behaviour.

Intentionally shaming your children is hurtful, so explore alternative methods of disciplining them.

Mistake #14: Don’t set boundaries for them

Do you ever feel like your children argue with you about everything? It’s as though everything you say needs to be disputed.

You ask them to tidy up some of their things and they say, “I’m busy. I’ll do it later.”

You ask them to do their homework and they say, “I have the whole weekend to do it. Why do I have to do it now?”

No matter what you do, they still want more freedom and independence.

But boundaries are important. You can rethink some rules as they get older, but stick to the important ones.

Despite the way it may seem, your children need these limits!

Mistake #15: Refuse to apologise when you’ve made a mistake

One of the biggest things that anyone can do is to apologise for making a mistake. It takes courage, but it shows you care and that you know – and do – the right thing.

Even if you’ve had a disagreement and your child said things that were disrespectful, you probably had a part to play too. After all, it takes two hands to clap.

Apologising for the things you said or did sends your child a powerful message. It shows that you’re prepared to do the right thing.

It also strengthens your relationship and heals the pain caused by the argument.

Mistake #16: Treat each of your children equally, instead of focusing on how unique each child is to you

How many times have you heard something like, “It’s not fair – she has more juice than I do!” Or maybe, “He has more pancakes than me!”

If you have more than one child, it’s tempting to make everything equal. The problem is that this doesn’t make them feel as though they’re equal.

Instead, give each child what he or she needs.

When they complain they didn’t get the same amount of juice, you can tell them they’ll get more if they need more.

Focus on their individuality and show them that they’re special and unique to you. Let them know that there’s no one else like them in the whole world.

Mistake #17: Don’t involve them in the process of setting rules and boundaries

As your child gets older and more independent, it’s reasonable to involve them in setting rules and boundaries.

This doesn’t mean you have to let them get their own way. It means that you don’t just lay down the law or announce the rules without any discussion.

Instead, involve them in the process as much as possible.

Involving them in the decision-making process lets them know they have a voice, and their needs have been heard.

It helps them to weigh the pros and cons of the situation, and gives them real life examples of how people negotiate.

Mistake #18: Speak too much and listen too little

One of the biggest mistakes parents make is to lecture, give advice, or criticise, instead of listening and understanding.

Many parents think they’re listening to their children, but their children disagree. The key is not just to listen, but to help them feel heard.

Why?

Because your children won’t change their behaviour unless they first feel understood. So you need to respect their views and opinions, and show them that you’re listening.

Mistake #19: Ignore or downplay their feelings

Sometimes parents say things to their children like, “There’s no need to feel sad” or “There’s no reason to cry.”

This makes the children think that their feelings aren’t valid. It also encourages them to suppress their feelings.

This isn’t healthy.

It’s important to acknowledge feelings, and to teach your children that all feelings are acceptable – but that not all actions are.

Mistake #20: Focus too much on rules while neglecting the relationship

Rules and boundaries are certainly important, but relationships matter more.

You might have a rule that lights-out is at 8.30 pm, but one night your child is still reading at 8:40 pm.

The rule is important, but is it worth damaging the connection you have with your child?

Don’t throw out the rule book, but do maintain a balance. Foster a strong parent-child relationship, and your children will grow up to be happier and more successful.

Conclusion

If you’ve made some of these mistakes, don’t feel too discouraged.

After all, great parents are always learning, growing, and improving.

Make a note of the errors you’ve been committing, and make a firm decision to change your behaviour.

It’s never too late to change, and it’s never too late to strengthen your relationship with your children.

All you have to do is take action – there’s no better time like the present!

(If you haven’t already done so, make sure to download your free e-book below.)

FREE E-BOOK:

Get your FREE copy of

16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.

The e-book has already been downloaded by many thousands of parents, so don't miss out!

15 Things Parents Unknowingly Do That Annoy Their Children

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 23 Comments

Do you want to have a better relationship with your children?

If so, one of the best things you can do is to avoid annoying them.

Why?

Because if your children are annoyed with you, it’s hard to have a strong parent-child relationship.

And without a strong parent-child relationship, it’s hard to raise happy, responsible and successful children.

I’ve worked with pre-teens and teens for many years. They’ve told me about the many things their parents unknowingly do that irritate them.

Here’s a list of 15 of those things you should stop doing right away.

(Don’t forget to download your free e-book below.)

FREE E-BOOK:

Get your FREE copy of

16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.

The e-book has already been downloaded by many thousands of parents, so don't miss out!

Annoying behavior #1: Continually point out your children’s flaws.

It’s easy to point out your children’s flaws:

“You watch too much TV.”
“Why are you so lazy?”
“You need to stop procrastinating.”
“You should study more.”
“Why don’t you try to be more organized?”
“You should pay more attention in class.”
“You should choose your friends more wisely.”

Criticism must be combined with an acknowledgement of good behavior.

You don’t need to go over the top with your praise, but it helps to catch your child doing and being good.

Annoying behavior #2: Treat your children as problems, not people.

Make an effort to speak positively to your children.

Some studies even show that the ideal ratio of positive comments to negative comments is 6:1.

If you talk to your children as if they’re problems you’re trying to fix, they’ll become resentful.

Listen to your children respectfully, demonstrate an interest in their hobbies, and show them common courtesies.

By doing so, you’ll build a better relationship with them.

Annoying behavior #3: Ask your children every day, “Have you completed your homework?”

Yes, it’s important that your children finish their homework on time.

But it’s also important that your children understand that homework isn’t the only thing you care about.

Continually asking “Have you completed your homework?” comes across as nagging.

Rather than nag, establish boundaries to make sure that you and your children are on the same page.

For example, you and your children may decide that as long as they maintain a B average and you don’t receive any complaints from their teachers, you won’t nag them about homework.

This approach allows your children more freedom, with less stress and frustration for both you and them.

Annoying behavior #4: Make your children feel as if they’re never working hard enough.

Your children may feel this way if you frequently comment about their lack of discipline, poor study habits, and inability to manage their time.

While you may be speaking the truth, your children may start to believe that they’ll never be able to measure up to your expectations.

As such, they may stop trying altogether.

You can prevent this by taking the time to understand your children’s feelings, and to focus on the things they’re doing well.

Annoying behavior #5: Give long lectures.

In your mind, giving long lectures may be the best way to get your point across.

But in your children’s minds, this is one of the most annoying things you can do.

Soon enough, your children will zone out, stop listening, and say whatever you want to hear in an attempt to end the lecture.

The better solution is to opt for a two-way conversation.

Encourage your children to share their perspective on the situation, and brainstorm possible solutions together with them.

Annoying behavior #6: Micromanage your children.

Do you manage your children’s schedule, from what they do each day to what they eat to what time they go to bed?

In general, children aged seven and older are capable of managing their schoolwork and other important tasks with minimal adult supervision.

They’ll need some coaching to accomplish this, but remember that the long-term goal of parenting is to “prepare the child for the path, not the path for the child.”

Annoying behavior #7: Break your promises.

You can’t just “talk the talk.” You also need to “walk the walk.”

If you break your promises, your children won’t trust you. This holds true for both big and small promises.

Children remember when a parent breaks a promise, even if it’s as simple as not taking them to a movie when you said you would.

Trust is the foundation of every relationship. So whenever you make a promise, follow through on it.

Annoying behavior #8: End a conversation with the phrase “because I said so.”

Think back to when you were a child.

“Because I said so” is the last thing you wanted to hear coming out from your parents’ mouths, right?

As frustrated as you might be with your children, don’t let this phrase slip out.

If you’re on the verge of losing your cool, take a step back and gather your thoughts.

Restart the conversation later in the day when you and your children have calmed down.

Annoying behavior #9: Continually accuse your children of arguing.

Do you often tell your children to “stop arguing” or to “stop talking back”?

I know . . . from your perspective, your children really are arguing and talking back.

But from their perspective, they’re just speaking their mind. They don’t mean to be rude.

Of course, this doesn’t mean you should tolerate behavior that’s blatantly disrespectful. But it does mean that you must model for your children what it means to be respectful.

Annoying behavior #10: Refuse to apologize, even when it’s clear that you’re in the wrong.

We all make mistakes. But as long as you admit it when you’re wrong, your children will forgive you.

Refusing to apologize to your children is the quickest way to create feelings of resentment and anger.

So if you’ve messed up, swallow your pride and apologize to your children.

If you can’t bring yourself to do so in person, send a text message or write a card instead.

This may not sound like a big deal, but an apology – even one that occurs many years after the fact – can help to restore the relationship.

Annoying behavior #11: Talk as if you know it all.

You probably have more perspective on life than your children, but you must remember that times have changed.

Growing up today isn’t the same as it was when you were a child or teenager.

For instance, it’s likely that your children know more about social media and digital technology than you. This means that, in some ways, they have a better understanding of how the world works.

So don’t act like you know it all. Instead, show your children that you’re willing to learn from them too.

Annoying behavior #12: Tell your children what things were like “when I was your age.”

When you talk as if you know exactly how your children feel, they’ll tune you out before you ever have a chance to make your point.

The pressures your children face today are different than what you dealt with growing up.

The world is more competitive today. There are more distractions to overcome. Technology is ubiquitous.

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with sharing stories from your past. Just don’t act like you know everything.

Listen more, speak less, and be open to your children’s views and opinions.

Do these things and you’ll keep the lines of communication between you and your children open.

Annoying behavior #13: Invade your children’s privacy.

An immediate way to destroy trust in your parent-child relationship is to invade your child’s privacy.

You should never go through your children’s personal belongings unless you suspect that they’re in grave danger.

Yes, you have the right to know where they are, who they’re with, and what time they’re expected to come home.

But as your children get older, it’s only natural that they’ll expect to have more freedom and independence.

Annoying behavior #14: Jump to conclusions.

As a parent, it’s easy to let past events influence your perception of future events.

But you must resist the urge to jump to conclusions.

For example, if your child gets a bad grade on a test, your first inclination may be to say, “You didn’t study for the test, did you?”

By jumping to conclusions, you’ll make the situation worse by putting your children on the defensive.

And when your children become defensive, it’ll be challenging to resolve the situation.

Even worse than jumping to conclusions is assuming that your child is lying – before you even gather all the facts. This can lead to future mistrust as well as permanent damage to the parent-child relationship.

Annoying behavior #15: Overreact.

Every parent wants the best for their children, which explains why many parents become anxious when things appear to take a turn for the worse.

Maybe your child’s math grade slips by 10%. Within a few days, you’ve hired a math tutor, started monitoring your child’s every move, and canceled all of your child’s extracurricular activities.

Although it might not seem like it to you, your child will definitely see this as an overreaction.

So before you respond to the situation, find out the reasons for the problem.

Think of potential solutions together with your child and – as far as possible – arrive at a mutually agreeable conclusion.

Conclusion

If you feel like you’re always committing parenting mistakes, don’t be discouraged.

By making a few specific changes, you’ll see a drastic improvement in your children’s development.

I encourage you to review this article periodically and develop an ongoing action plan to strengthen your parent-child relationship.

Yes, you’ll need to put in some effort.

But as Harold Lee once said, “The most important work you and I will ever do will be within the walls of our own homes.”

The time to get to work is now!

(If you haven’t already done so, make sure to download your free e-book below.)

FREE E-BOOK:

Get your FREE copy of

16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.

The e-book has already been downloaded by many thousands of parents, so don't miss out!