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8 Risky Teen Behaviours: What Parents Need to Know

Updated on November 21, 2024 By Daniel Wong 7 Comments

teenage risky behaviorsAdolescence is when teenagers discover their passions, develop lifelong friendships, and push boundaries.

But this newfound sense of freedom sometimes leads to risky teenage behaviours. This can cause significant stress for parents.

The ability to stay grounded and understand the consequences of risky behaviour is the key to your teen making the right choices.

What might seem fun in the moment could end badly.

So let’s take a closer look at 8 common teenage risky behaviours and what you, as a parent, can do.

(If your teen lacks motivation, make sure to download the free e-book below.)

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1. Risky sexual behaviour

Being curious about sex is a natural part of growing up.

As a Christian, I believe in abstinence until marriage. But for others who aren’t religious, the main consideration might be practising safe sex.

Unsafe sex can affect your teen’s health and future because of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and pregnancy, among other things.

The CDC found that almost half of the 26 million new cases of STDs in the US were among those aged 15-24. This underscores the dangers of risky sexual behaviour.

STDs can have lifelong effects. As you’re already aware of, the main ways to prevent getting an STD are abstinence and using protection.

Parenting teens is tough, but educating them on dating and the dangers of unprotected sex is essential. More than that, have open and honest conversations with your teens about their views toward sex, pornography, unplanned pregnancies, and STDs.

Only when you understand their perspective can you have meaningful conversations with them about making the right choices when it comes to sex.

2. Behaviour that leads to unintentional injuries

teenagers jumping off a cliffMany teenagers seek thrills and adventures. They might decide to bike through the forest or try dangerous skateboarding tricks.

These kinds of activities can lead to unintentional injuries.

According to GOV.UK, unintentional injuries are a leading cause of preventable death and severe disability among young people.

Teenagers may not take safety precautions seriously. For example, they might not wear a helmet or protective gear when riding a bike or skateboarding.

Risky behaviour on the roads, such as not wearing seat belts, is another leading cause of unintentional injury. Public Health England has created detailed guidelines to reduce these types of injuries on the roads.

Talk to your teens about the importance of wearing protective gear and driving safely. Find out how your teens assess risk and what factors influence their decision-making process.

3. Vaping and tobacco use

teenager smokingPeer pressure and a desire to “fit in” are common themes during adolescence.

Research shows that nicotine use during adolescence can adversely affect the brain. The areas of the brain most affected are responsible for attention, learning, mood, and impulse control.

Teenagers who rebelled against authority and smoked used to be seen as cool. But many teenagers today are put off by the ill effects of smoking, such as discoloured teeth, bad breath, respiratory issues, and cancers of the mouth and lungs.

Today, vaping is the “cool” thing. Statistics show that vaping is becoming more common, with 26.5% of high schoolers using disposable e-cigarettes, compared to only 2.4% a few years ago.

There’s no question that nicotine – no matter what form it takes – is addictive.

So make sure your teens know the risks of vaping. Once again, it’s always a good idea to have open discussions with your teens about vaping and smoking so that you know what their views are on the topic.

4. Poor eating habits

You may have heard the phrase “you are what you eat”. There’s truth to this statement.

As your teens begin to make their own food choices, their standards may start to slip. This is when unhealthy dietary habits can begin to develop.

Teenagers may opt for sugary drinks or unhealthy snacks that taste good but have little nutritional value.

A poor diet will almost definitely lead to serious consequences later in life. Various health issues, such as diabetes, high cholesterol, and obesity, can result from bad eating habits.

Skipping meals and drinking too many energy drinks are other dietary choices that can impact your teen’s health.

At the same time, teenagers often feel the pressure to have a “perfect” body. This pressure can cause them to restrict their calorie intake excessively. This can lead to eating disorders and vitamin deficiencies.

Keep the lines of communication with your teens open, so you’ll be able to support and guide them to make good choices when it comes to their dietary habits.

5. Alcohol and drug use

teenagers drinking alcoholThe teenage years are a time of self-discovery and – at times – rebellion.

Alcohol and drug use are common ways for teens to rebel against authority and also feel grown up.

But one drink can quickly lead to another, and before your teens know it, they’ve had too much.

With alcohol and drugs, it doesn’t take much to put your teen at severe risk.

Alcohol is often the gateway to other substances such as cocaine, inhalants, marijuana, methamphetamines, steroids, and prescription drugs.

When teenagers are exposed to such substances, they become vulnerable to several dangers. These dangers include accidental overdose, toxic drugs, and addiction.

Teens might experiment with alcohol and drugs for many reasons. They might feel curious, or they might want to fit in.

But many teens never fully consider the associated dangers. What may seem like a bit of weekend fun can lead to bad grades, health problems, or even a lifetime of addiction.

Not surprisingly, researchers have found that the earlier people begin to abuse drugs, the greater their chances of developing a serious addiction.

Maintaining a good relationship with your teens and listening to their points of view is the key to motivating your teens to make good decisions when it comes to alcohol and drug use.

6. Social media

The number of people who use social media regularly, and the amount of time spent online, is continually increasing.

Most teens use social media to communicate with their friends and meet new people. Some teens spend hours mindlessly scrolling through social media, to the point where it takes over their lives.

Social media addiction is a real threat to teenagers, so it’s something that parents need to look out for.

What’s more, the Internet is an especially dangerous place for vulnerable people. Cyberbullying is a common occurrence among teenagers. People hiding behind their screens aren’t afraid of leaving nasty comments or sending mean direct messages.

These comments and direct messages can damage your teen’s self-esteem.

So your teenagers need to learn to manage their social media usage. You can lead by example in this area by demonstrating to your teenagers what you’re doing to manage your own screen time and eliminate phone addiction.

7. Sexting

teenager using social media

Technology enables us to communicate in a multitude of ways. But technology also makes it easy to send sexually explicit images.

Teens are curious and are more likely to experiment with sexting if their friends are doing it too.

To some people, sexting might not seem like a big deal, but it can have serious ramifications. Numerous studies show that sexting is associated with risky behaviours such as smoking and drug use.

Furthermore, sexting is associated with having multiple sexual partners, anxiety, and depression.

The images sent can easily be forwarded to unintended recipients. Sexting can lead to bullying, objectification, and extortion, just to name a few negative consequences. So sexting is something that teenagers should never engage in.

Have casual conversations with your teens to see what their views are toward sexting, so you’ll know how to approach the topic with them going forward.

8. Self-harm

Self-harm is often a coping mechanism for teenagers who are experiencing emotional pain.

Self-harm results in teens feeling temporarily relieved, before shame and guilt take over. In many cases, those who harm themselves hide their wounds from others.

Insufficient coping mechanisms and communication skills can lead to self-harm. Your teenager may be experiencing an internal struggle and may not have the tools to deal with it on his or her own.

Therapy and coaching can help to identify the underlying cause, and put your teen on the road to recovery.

Maintain a positive relationship with your teens to ensure they know they can come to you if they need help or support.

Conclusion

TeenagersThe journey through the teenage years is full of ups and downs.

Risky behaviours can be a normal part of growing up. But understanding the consequences of these behaviours and learning how to say no to them is essential.

Focus on building a strong relationship with your teens, and listen to their points of view without casting judgment. Over time, this will result in you being in a better position to influence them.

After all, lectures and nagging don’t work with teens. So your best bet is to keep the lines of communication wide open, because this will allow you to guide your teens toward making wise decisions.

All the best on this challenging but exciting journey with your teenagers!

(Don’t forget to download your free e-book below. It contains 16 proven tips that you can apply right away to help your teens become more motivated!)

FREE E-BOOK:

16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager (Cover)

Get your FREE copy of

16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.


The e-book has already been downloaded by many thousands of parents, so don't miss out!

Filed Under: Health, Parenting, Teens

20 Best Books for Students to Get Motivated and Inspired

Updated on July 14, 2025 By Daniel Wong 4 Comments

best books for teensThe right book read at the right time has the power to change your life.

The best books for students open your mind to new possibilities, help you get on the correct path, and spark curiosity about the world.

Are you ready to discover the books you ought to read for your personal development?

Maybe you feel like it’s time to start thinking about your financial future. Or maybe you’re looking for a novel that will engage your imagination.

Then look no further!

From classical literature to personal growth, this list of 20 must-read books for students will help you to thrive. What’s more, reading is a great habit for students to develop.

(Before you read the rest of this article, make sure to download your free quick action guide below to enable you to overcome procrastination permanently!)

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20 must-read books for students

Check out these books for students who need a little inspiration or motivation:

  1. Animal Farm by George Orwell
  2. The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
  3. The Boy in the Striped Pajamas by John Boyne
  4. The Evolution of a Girl by L. E. Bowman
  5. Indistractable by Nir Eyal
  6. Elastic Habits by Stephen Guise
  7. It’s Not About You by Tom Rath
  8. Make Your Bed by Admiral William H. McRaven
  9. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck
  10. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens by Sean Covey
  11. The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod
  12. Just As You Are by Michelle Skeen and Kelly Skeen
  13. The Success Principles by Jack Canfield
  14. Shoot Your Shot by Vernon Brundage Jr.
  15. Why Didn’t They Teach Me This in School? 99 Personal Money Management Principles to Live By by Cary Siegel
  16. Do Hard Things by Alex Harris and Brett Harris
  17. You Are Awesome by Matthew Syed
  18. A Year of Positive Thinking for Teens by Katie Hurley
  19. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff for Teens by Richard Carlson
  20. In Order to Live: A North Korean Girl’s Journey to Freedom by Yeonmi Park

Now, let’s take a closer look at each of these books to find out why they’re the best ones for students to read.

1. Animal Farm by George Orwell

Animal Farm by George Orwell book coverWritten in 1945 by George Orwell, Animal Farm is a political satire that takes place on a farm. The animals, tired of being exploited by their human masters, overthrow them and set up an egalitarian society.

But the animals in charge let the power get to their heads – power always corrupts. They use propaganda to gain power and control the other animals.

This book explores the theme of the ability of everyday individuals to stand up for what they believe in and for those who can’t stand up for themselves.

2. The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry book coverBeautifully written by French author Antoine de Saint- Exupéry, The Little Prince tells the story of a young boy living in a distant land with a unique flower – or so he thought.

Aware of the vanity of his flower, the little prince decides to leave his home. Arriving on Earth, he travels to a rose garden that has many flowers. This makes him realise that his flower isn’t unique.

Over time, the young boy meets a fox who teaches him to appreciate everything around him.

Initially struggling to look beneath the surface, as many adults do, the little prince masters the art of looking deeper to reveal the true beauty of life.

This book touches on the themes of love, friendship, courage, kindness, and loyalty – all of which you can learn to harness through your years as a student.

3. The Boy in the Striped Pajamas by John Boyne

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas by John Boyne book coverSet in World War 2, The Boy in the Striped Pajamas tells the story of nine-year-old Bruno, the son of a German commandant.

Bruno forges a friendship with a boy the same age as him named Shmuel. Bruno is unaware of the purpose of the place where his father works, Auschwitz, and therefore doesn’t understand what is going on or the danger his friend is in.

The book tackles complex and difficult topics and presents themes of innocence and the importance of friendship and family ties.

4. The Evolution of a Girl by L.E. Bowman

The Evolution of a Girl by L. E. Bowman and Marie Worden book cover

The Evolution of a Girl by L.E. Bowman is a collection that uses poetry and stories to mirror the transformation of a young girl into a woman – a go-to guide for teenage girls.

The book shares a series of life lessons for young women on self-acceptance, self-love, and growth during these transitional years.

These lessons help girls develop a strength they can carry throughout their lives.

Bowman takes on themes of heartbreak and anger that lead to transformation and rebirth.

5. Indistractable by Nir Eyal

Indistractable by Nir Eyal book coverIn Indistractable, Nir Eyal details the things that cause us to get distracted. The author explains why turning off all our devices (phones, computers, etc.) isn’t always the right way to overcome distractions.

If you want to succeed and make the most of your life, you need to avoid things that cause you to deviate from the path you need to be on.

You have to live your life not only doing the right things, but also not doing things you’ll regret later.

This is an excellent book for students, so I encourage you to read it right away!

6. Elastic Habits by Stephen Guise

Elastic Habits by Stephen Guise book coverCreate lasting habits with this powerful book by Stephen Guise.

Elastic Habits shows you how to develop excellent habits by making minor changes each day.

Never miss a day! These mini-milestones can lead you towards establishing positive habits that will stay with you throughout your life.

What makes the concepts in this book helpful is that you’ll have flexibility in developing habits. You get to select the activity you want to work on, when you want to work on it, and how intense the effort will be.

You’ll find strategies to improve your study habits and make it more fun to pursue your goals!

7. It’s Not About You by Tom Rath

It's Not About You by Tom Rath book cover“Life is not about you. It’s about what you do for others.”

As a sixteen-year-old with a rare genetic disorder, Rath sought a meaningful life in the nurturing care of his family, including his grandfather, Don Clifton.

Rath teaches us how to answer life’s great questions in this empowering self-help memoir.

This book’s message teaches us that life’s greater purpose is to focus less on what we want to achieve and more on what we can do to contribute.

8. Make Your Bed by Admiral William H. McRaven

Make Your Bed by Admiral William H. McRaven book coverMake Your Bed contains ten life lessons that Admiral William H. McRaven learned during his Navy SEAL training.

These lessons helped him overcome challenges during his long Navy career and throughout his life.

As he writes in the book:

“Making your bed will also reinforce the fact that little things in life matter. If you can’t do the little things right, you will never do the big things right.”

Starting the day by making your bed increases your motivation to move through your other daily tasks. As a result, your days will become more productive and fruitful.

9. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck book cover

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck explores the idea that we have two mindsets: fixed and growth.

The fixed mindset is a belief that your abilities are set in stone and that staying in your comfort zone is the best way to feel validated.

But developing a growth mindset is vital if you want to succeed in life and make the most of the opportunities you’re presented with.

The growth mindset is the belief that your fundamental qualities and abilities are things you can build upon and improve.

This book explains how your conscious and unconscious thoughts can affect you. It also explains how simple changes in the words you use can have a profound effect on your behaviour.

10. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens by Sean Covey

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens by Sean Covey book coverTeens today face new challenges like cyberbullying and constant online distractions.

Covey offers a simple, step-by-step approach to help teens boost their self-image, build healthy friendships, counter peer pressure, and reach their goals.

The main focus is on ensuring that you’re proactive because this paves the way for students to master the other habits.

The first three habits focus on self-improvement, while the next four habits cover topics to do with how we relate to others.

Students who want to improve their lives in significant ways should read this book!

11. The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod

The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod and Robert Kiyosaki book coverThis book aims to encourage you to adopt a powerful and energising morning routine.

A solid morning routine will catapult you towards success!

Elrod explains the six steps you can take every morning to get you on the right track:

  • Silence
  • Affirmations
  • Visualisation
  • Exercise
  • Reading
  • Scribing

12. Just As You Are by Michelle Skeen and Kelly Skeen

Just As You Are by Kelly Skeen and Michelle Skeen book cover“Stop comparing yourself to others – you’re special just as you are!”

Offering many practical solutions, Just As You Are is a teen’s guide to self-acceptance and developing lasting self-esteem.

The series of insights from psychologist Michelle Skeen and her daughter, Kelly Skeen, consist of simple tips.

These tips will enable you to eliminate feelings of inadequacy, to stop comparing yourself with others, and to accept yourself fully.

13. The Success Principles by Jack Canfield

The Success Principles by Jack Canfield book cover“Don’t worry about your failures, worry about the chances you miss when you don’t even try…”

Jack Canfield gets to the heart of achieving enduring success in this book.

He writes about the numerous principles that helped him throughout his life. He shares them so that anyone can learn how to lead a meaningful and fulfilling life.

As you read this book, you’ll understand how believing you can achieve your goals, working to achieve your goals, and taking full responsibility for your life will get you headed in the right direction.

14. Shoot Your Shot by Vernon Brundage Jr.

Shoot Your Shot by Vernon Brundage Jr. book coverMany teenagers and students aspire to be just like their favourite athletes.

That’s precisely what this book is about.

Reading this book provides you with a chance to understand the tips and tricks of successful athletes that can also be integrated into your day-to-day life. As a result, you’ll be one step closer to achieving your goals.

Shoot Your Shot introduces the fundamental principles that elite basketball players follow, which will guide you as you strive to make the most of your potential.

15. Why Didn’t They Teach Me This in School?: 99 Personal Money Management Principles to Live By by Cary Siegel

Why Didn’t They Teach Me This in School?: 99 Personal Money Management Principles to Live By by Carl Siegel book coverWhy Didn’t They Teach Me This in School? is a fantastic book for students who want to improve their money management skills.

In this book, you’ll discover eight lessons broken down into 99 clear and concise principles to help you manage your personal finances well.

What makes it one of the best books for students is that it isn’t a dry or boring read about money.

Instead, it contains interesting and practical examples to make the material relatable and memorable.

16. Do Hard Things by Alex Harris and Brett Harris

Do Hard Things by Alex Harris and Brett Harris book cover

Rather than portraying adolescence as a time of escape from responsibility, Do Hard Things redefines the teenage years as a catapult for a meaningful life.

Through personal anecdotes and practical examples, the authors challenge you to get outside your comfort zone and do challenging things.

As a student, you’ll gain inspiration and clarity about the future through this fascinating book.

In fact, Alex Harris and Brett Harris were teens when they wrote the book.

Read the book and get ready to feel motivated to take on challenges and lead an extraordinary life!

17. You Are Awesome by Matthew Syed

You Are Awesome by Matthew Syed and Toby Triumph book coverThis book invites teenagers to defy self-doubt, fearlessly explore and discover, and develop confidence in themselves.

You Are Awesome is an invitation to embrace change and stop doubting yourself.

Students will benefit from this book’s practicality and positivity. As you read the book, you’ll become more self-aware.

You’ll also become better prepared for whatever life throws at you.

18. A Year of Positive Thinking for Teens by Katie Hurley

A Year of Positive Thinking for Teens by Katie Hurley book coverThis book‘s philosophy centres around the idea that harnessing positive thinking can increase your happiness and motivation to beat stress.

It will also help you to focus on achieving your goals.

A Year of Positive Thinking for Teens introduces principles and strategies to help students take action, overcome teenage anxiety, and build resilience.

This book is especially useful for teensagers who struggle with distorted or negative thinking that’s holding them back.

19. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff for Teens: Simple Ways to Keep Your Cool in Stressful Times by Richard Carlson

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff for Teens: Simple Ways to Keep Your Cool in Stressful Times by Richard Carlson book coverBeing a teen can be tough. Richard Carlson understands this, and explains in Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff for Teens how teenagers can learn to thrive.

The book covers various topics, including peer pressure, homework, dating, etc., through a series of inspirational essays.

Carlson offers different methods and advice to handle the challenges that teens face.

For example, he recommends that teens always look for the positive in a given situation, and remember that they can make a difference in the world.

This is a must-read book for students!

20. In Order to Live: A North Korean Girl’s Journey to Freedom by Yeonmi Park

In Order to Live: A North Korean Girl’s Journey to Freedom by Yeonmi Park book coverYeonmi Park shares her fascinating story in In Order to Live: A North Korean Girl’s Journey to Freedom.

She writes honestly about the fear of living under a dictatorship, the threat of dying from disease and starvation, and even execution.

She fled North Korea at the age of 13 and she hoped to reunite with her sister. She made it to China, only to be forced into human trafficking.

When she finally found freedom in South Korea, she encountered further challenges that she eventually overcame.

This is an exhilarating and heartrending book that will change the way you look at the world.

Conclusion

Don’t underestimate the power of books during your student years.

Why not save this list of the 20 best books for students and make your way through them in your leisure time?

It’s an investment of time that will definitely pay off!

(And if you’d like a free quick action guide to enable you to overcome procrastination once and for all, make sure to download the PDF below.)

FREE QUICK ACTION GUIDE: 

12 Guaranteed Ways for Students to Improve Focus and Reduce Procrastination (Cover)

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12 Guaranteed Ways for Students to Improve Focus and Reduce Procrastination. 

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Filed Under: Goals, Happiness, Motivation, Personal Growth, Teens

How to Get Teenagers to Do Their Homework (9 Effective Strategies for Parents)

Updated on January 28, 2025 By Daniel Wong 3 Comments

how to get a teenager to do homeworkAs a parent, you’ve probably asked yourself many times how you can get your teenagers to do their homework.

“I’ll do it later”, “I’ve done enough studying today,” or “leave me alone” are not uncommon phrases to hear when asking teens about the status of their assignments.

If this sounds like your household, don’t worry – you’re not alone.

Social media, streaming platforms, and online gaming have become very popular. It’s no wonder that teens find it difficult to focus on their studies, and parents struggle with motivating their teenagers.

If you want to learn how to motivate teens to do their homework, then you’re in the right place. I’ve outlined 9 strategies you can use to get your teens to do their schoolwork.

Let’s take a closer look.

FREE E-BOOK:

16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager (Cover)

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1. Create a routine

Life with teenagers can be chaotic. As such, establishing a study routine for them to commit to can improve their productivity dramatically.

Think about when your teens are the most productive – whether it’s when they get home from school or later in the evening after they’ve had some downtime.

Study blocks are a good approach to use. Encourage your teens to set aside one- to two-hour blocks each day and dedicate them to homework.

This may change depending on the day and what other activities or chores your teens need to do.

You can help by setting up a calendar that highlights the times available each day. If your teenagers have a time frame to work with and know they can have some downtime, it can be motivating.

2. Provide a distraction-free space to work

It’s natural for teenagers’ workspaces to become cluttered over time.

But when it comes to motivating your teens to do their homework, it’s vital to clear some space and provide an environment that’s free from distractions.

Research shows that maintaining a clutter-free area can enhance productivity. Lighting, temperature, and noise are also factors to consider when creating an environment that’s conducive to studying.

Adding motivational quotes for students on sticky notes around the room can help to keep your teens going if they start to lose steam.

3. Don’t force your teen to do the homework

Father and son arguingAt the end of the day, it’s your teen’s responsibility to do the homework. As a parent, you can only do so much to help.

If you force your teens to do their homework by using threats and punishments, they’ll become resentful.

It will likely lead to a power struggle, and your teens will become more rebellious and defiant.

Have calm discussions with your teens about the expectations related to schoolwork, and take the time to understand their perspective.

Then you can work together with them to find some solutions that everyone involved finds acceptable.

4. Establish that homework is your teen’s responsibility

It’s only natural to want to see your teenagers succeed by focusing on studying and putting in their best effort.

That’s why getting teens to do their homework is a common point of frustration for many parents.

The problem is that this often leads to situations where parents become more invested in their teens’ study time than their teens are. It’s important to remember that homework is your teen’s responsibility, not yours.

While you can offer them help and guidance, you should never take ownership of their schoolwork.

I’m sure you want to raise happy and successful teens, and one of the best ways to do that is to ensure they understand what their responsibilities are.

5. Set expectations and consequences

Establishing clear expectations and consequences can improve your and your teenager’s experience with school work.

You’ll want to avoid harshly laying down the law when it comes to getting your teens to do their homework. This approach will backfire and will cause them to rebel.

Instead, take some time to calmly communicate with your teens and actively listen to them.

The conversation you have should be collaborative. Go through your expectations when it comes to your teen’s homework and the consequences of not meeting those expectations. Make sure everything is clearly outlined, and make sure that your teen finds the expectations reasonable.

By taking this approach, you’ll avoid – or at least minimise – arguments about unfinished assignments in the future.

6. Do your best not to micromanage your teen

mother helping son with homeworkSometimes, pushing your teenagers too hard to do their homework or checking in too frequently can backfire and make them push back.

You may find that when left on their own, teenagers can be productive and finish what they need to.

Make a conscious decision to give your teens space to work on their own. Your teen will see this trust as a sign of confidence, which will strengthen your relationship.

7. Work on your tasks at the same time as your teen

As adults, we have some form of “homework” that needs to be done too, such as things related to invoices, bills, investments, online courses, etc.

So use this as an opportunity to set an example for your teenagers. If they’re open to the idea, do your “homework” while they’re doing their homework.

By spending time together and being productive, you can be a positive role model for your teenagers. You can show them what it looks like to take on tasks, finish them, and enjoy the feeling of accomplishment.

8. Stay calm and communicate clearly

When trying to motivate your teens to do their homework, stay calm and avoid arguing with them. Yelling will only distance your teens from you and make the subject of homework one that’s tinged with negativity.

Nurture your relationship with your teenager by speaking to them calmly and listening to what they have to say.

Show them that you value their opinions and reinforce that their voice matters.

9. Help your teen prioritise

teen studying productivelyAs a parent, I’m sure you have a to-do list. It’s not always possible to get through it every day, but prioritising the most important tasks can do wonders.

The same thing goes for teenagers and their homework.

If your teens are open to the idea, sit down with them to help them prioritise their most important tasks. That way, when their energy level is at its peak, they can begin with the more time-consuming or challenging assignments.

When they learn to prioritise, they’ll be less overwhelmed and more focused.

Conclusion

Homework is an essential part of every student’s life.

As a parent, you understand the importance of your teens doing their best in school so that they’ll make the most of their potential.

So it’s about finding that happy medium between how to get your teens to do their homework while also giving them the chance to take complete ownership of their education.

You won’t always be there to give your teens a nudge, so by applying the tips in this article, they’ll be on their way to becoming responsible and effective students.

(If you’d like your teenagers to become more motivated, make sure to download the free e-book below!)

FREE E-BOOK:

16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager (Cover)

Get your FREE copy of

16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.


The e-book has already been downloaded by many thousands of parents, so don't miss out!

Filed Under: Communication, Parenting, Relationships, Teens

How to Avoid Sleepiness While Studying (13 Ways to Stay Awake and Focused)

August 31, 2022 By Daniel Wong 31 Comments

How to avoid sleepiness while studying featured imageDo you ever catch yourself nodding off even though you have a test the next day?

If so, does that make you wonder how you can avoid sleepiness while studying?

As a student, I know schoolwork can tire you out. Studying requires a lot of concentration and time, especially during exam season.

It’s only natural for feelings of fatigue to kick in after staring at your computer for hours or reading over pages and pages of notes – even if you’re well-rested.

But remember, you’re studying for a reason.

You want to master the concepts and get good grades. If you fall asleep while studying, you’ll waste valuable time.

To help you out, I’ve come up with 13 ways to stay awake during these crucial times.

Follow these research-backed tips on how to avoid sleepiness while studying, and you’ll ace your exams!

(Make sure to download the free quick action guide below too.)

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1. Get out of your comfort zone

As tempting as it may be to crawl into bed, get cosy, and start reading through your notes, avoid doing this. You’ve probably done this before and unintentionally fell asleep.

Research has found that your learning environment significantly impacts how you study and, in turn, how successful you are in school.

A variety of factors can affect your learning ability, including lighting and noise. An environment that promotes learning has been shown to motivate, engage, and increase the potential of students to learn.

So step outside of your comfort zone. Literally!

Avoid any place you associate with sleep or naps. Instead, venture to a café, a library, or even outside in nature to stimulate your mind and activate that “study time” state.

2. Watch your posture

Sitting upright while studying has been known to enhance concentration and decrease fatigue.

Adopt a comfortable seated position and hold your head up high.

According to Upright, approximately 100 billion neurons and 1,000 trillion synaptic connections are found in the human brain. Your brain relies on these neurons and synapses for memory, concentration, and information transmission.

You’ll focus better once you improve your posture, by also improving your body’s oxygen and blood circulation. In addition, sitting upright helps to prevent you from falling asleep.

3. Create a study strategy

setting a timer for studying concentratedWhen it comes to avoiding sleepiness while studying, you need to have a plan in place that can guide you toward success.

Before you begin every study session, decide what you want to achieve during the session.

I recommend that you work in short, focused blocks of time of 30 to 40 minutes.

How does this method help you to avoid feeling sleepy while studying?

It allows you to devote your undivided attention to studying material for a set amount of time. You would also have specified exactly what material you intend to cover during the study session.

For example, you could break down the material into different sections and spend 30 minutes focused on each one.

Then you could take a break between each study session to recharge before diving into the next one.

Keep the breaks short – 5 to 10 minutes in general – so you stay on track to finish what you planned to work on.

4. Stay hydrated

The human brain is about 75% water.

When we don’t drink enough water, it leads to dehydration, which turns to fatigue, headaches, lack of mental clarity, stress, and sleep issues.

Of course, these are all issues that you want to avoid when studying.

Research shows that staying hydrated increases your academic performance. So always have a bottle of water next to you while studying to ensure that you stay hydrated.

5. Eat the right foods

If you want to feel energised and alert, choose a nutrient-rich diet high in protein to keep you going through your day (or night) of studying.

Add in fresh fruit, vegetables, and healthy fats to your diet too.

Healthy brain food for studying includes protein from sources like meat, eggs, poultry, fish, legumes, nuts, and seeds.

6. Use active learning methods

If you just read your notes or textbook passively, you’re bound to feel sleepy. But if you learn the material actively, your concentration will improve.

Here are some active learning methods I recommend:

  • Write down questions you have as you read
  • Create summary notes for every topic
  • Teach other people about what you’ve learned
  • Discuss the topic with your classmates
  • Think about real-world applications of what you’re learning
  • Explore case studies related to the topic

7. Switch tasks periodically

teen focusing on a math problem

Doing too much of one thing can become tedious.

That’s why switching up your tasks periodically can keep things interesting and prevent your mind from straying while you’re studying.

If you switch tasks too often (e.g. every 15 minutes or less), you’ll have difficulty concentrating deeply on the task at hand.

I recommend that you focus on one task for at least 30 to 40 minutes before changing to a different task.

You could begin with one “type” of studying, such as reading through your notes and highlighting the key points. Then you could move on to another type of studying where you complete a few practice problems.

If you use this approach while also applying methods that enable you to study smart, you’ll be on the right track!

8. Move your body

Daily exercise plays a big part in students’ mental and physical health. The benefits of physical activity are endless, from strengthening the body to refreshing the mind.

We are Fitness Freaks is an advocate of performing aerobic exercises to avoid feeling lethargic.

Starting your study session with a quick exercise like jumping jacks gets your heart rate up and improves your focus.

Adding jumping jacks to your daily routine elevates oxygen levels, boosts mental cognition, increases happiness, and enhances your overall performance.

9. Take power naps

You’ll be happy to hear that power naps are a good thing!

The health benefits of power naps include enhanced long-term memory, better logical reasoning, increased creativity, and improved cognitive performance.

The ideal time to take a power nap is between 12:30 pm and 2 pm. You’ll want to avoid taking one too late in the day because it will affect your ability to sleep later on.

But if you have no choice but to wait until later in the day, a 10-minute power nap is ideal and won’t mess up your sleep schedule.

10. Choose the right kind of lighting

Feeling sleepy while studying? Your choice of lighting could be an influencing factor.

Did you know that the colour of light that you use while studying can have an impact on your level of sleepiness?

LED Lighting Info states that cool light colours – blues and whites – are the best LEDs for studying. By mimicking daylight, they help you stay awake and focused.

You’ll feel more attentive and alert when studying under cooler colours.

But starting a few hours before bedtime, I recommend that you study under warmer colours, such as orange and red. This is so you won’t have trouble falling asleep.

11. Find a study buddy

study groupTwo minds are better than one – this also goes for motivation and moral support.

When you have a study buddy, you can motivate each other throughout your session. You can also test each other by asking questions and bouncing ideas off one another.

An advantage of this is that you’re less likely to fall asleep while studying in someone else’s company.

You’ll keep your mind stimulated and more alert. If you see your study buddy beginning to nod off, give them a gentle nudge and encourage them to keep going.

12. Prioritise quality sleep

It might be strange to see a tip related to getting more quality sleep on this list, but I put it here for a reason.

Quality sleep can do wonders for your study sessions. The National Sleep Foundation recommends that healthy adults sleep between seven and nine hours per night.

This research study explored the relationship between sleep quality and academic performance in college students. The results showed that academic performance was positively correlated with longer sleep duration, higher sleep quality, and more consistency in sleep.

So make it a priority to get to bed at about the same time every night, and wake up naturally without an alarm whenever you can.

13. Use your finger or pen as a guide while reading

Sometimes, using a guide to focus on while you study can help you stay alert.

For example, try using a pen as a guide while reading a textbook or your notes. You can also use your finger or any other suitable item you have on hand.

This will help you to concentrate and will prevent you from daydreaming. Your reading efficiency will also increase!

Conclusion

Studying can be a tedious task that may cause students to feel tired and fatigued.

But if you want to learn as effectively as you can, then it’s vital to find an approach that works for you to avoid sleepiness.

By following the tips in this article to stay awake while studying, you’re sure to become a better student!

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7 Tips for Parenting ADHD Teens

July 16, 2022 By Daniel Wong 2 Comments

parenting adhd teens - distracted teenager with phoneParenting ADHD teens is especially tough, which I’m sure you already know.

You want to help your teens get on the right path, but they’re resistant to rules and they get annoyed when you give them reminders.

But it doesn’t have to be a constant struggle.

Teens with ADHD (attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder) can learn strategies to help them focus as well as calm themselves.

As a parent, you can find the best ways to support them – leading to less conflict and more connection.

All parents want their teens to be happy and successful. Raising teens with ADHD means providing the proper foundation, tools, and strategies to help them succeed.

That’s what we’ll be talking about in this article.

(If your teen lacks motivation, make sure to download the free e-book below.)

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7 effective parenting strategies

Believing in your teenagers and supporting their efforts is essential to navigating life with teenagers who have ADHD.

Such teens need extra reassurance and may feel frustrated because they can’t keep pace with their non-ADHD peers and siblings. These are all natural feelings.

If you’d like to know how to deal with an ADHD teenager, keep reading.

Here are 7 strategies that work:

1. Encourage your teen to exercise

Teenagers with ADHD often have excess energy. You might notice that your teen fidgets or is unable to sit still. In these instances, your efforts to get your teen to focus will feel fruitless.

Now’s the time to take a deep breath.

Remember, your teen isn’t ignoring you or trying to make you angry.

Physical activity is beneficial for the mind and the body, but motivating teens to do what’s good for them can be tough.

Find fun exercises or activities that your teen will enjoy doing. Exercise will burn off some of that extra energy and, in turn, calm your teen.

Exercise stimulates healthy brain function, regulates sleep, and enables your teen to concentrate better.

2. Establish and enforce rules

mother and daughter arguing about house chores

The teenage years are when teens start testing boundaries and pushing for more autonomy.

But teens with ADHD need more structure because they have difficulty understanding how to behave without established and consistent rules.

Don’t argue with your teen. Instead, communicate with your teen about your expectations and create rules that everyone agrees on.

Once you and your teen have agreed on a set of rules and expectations, it’s essential to make sure you consistently enforce them to maintain structure.

You can try creating a checklist of what needs to be done around the house and for school.

By doing this, your teenager will know exactly what’s expected of him or her and will have something to refer to if distraction kicks in.

Here are some other strategies you can use:

  • Set a timer for certain chores or tasks to emphasise the importance of completing one task at a time.
  • Positively reinforce good behaviour to motivate your teen to keep following the rules. (Teenagers with ADHD typically find praise more meaningful than teenagers who don’t have ADHD.)
  • Think about issues that will likely come up in the future and brainstorm ways to deal with those issues together with your teen.

Teens need to discover the world around them and become more independent.

But parenting teens with ADHD means you need to provide extra guidance and strategies to ensure they do so safely and successfully.

3. Give appropriate consequences

When parenting a teen with ADHD, it’s vital to know the difference between punishment and discipline.

Now that you and your teen have worked together to establish a structure that works, you need to agree on the appropriate consequences.

Teens with ADHD are more likely to break the rules because they forgot, got distracted, or became overwhelmed. As such, you need to ensure that the consequences you put in place are appropriate.

For example:

  • If your teens aren’t home by curfew – no going out the following weekend.
  • If your teens leave their things in a mess around the house  – those items get taken away for three days.
  • If your teens don’t complete their chores – no video games until after they’ve done the chores.

When you set consequences that aren’t reasonable, your teens will become frustrated and resentful.

So be sure to explain to them why you’re carrying out the consequence. Discuss the situation with them and see if they need further help or support.

For instance, if the issue is punctuality, your teen might decide to set a recurring alarm. You could also encourage your teen to participate in structured activities that teach the importance of being on time.

4. Encourage social interaction

teenagers eating burgers and socializing

The average teenager is busy. A teen’s calendar fills up fast between school, other activities, and spending time with friends.

Most ADHD teens aren’t like their peers when it comes to socialising.

Teens with ADHD can feel lonely and isolated. These feelings can lead to lower self-esteem and cause difficulties in building and maintaining friendships.

As a parent, you can provide opportunities for your teenager to participate in structured social activities like sports or clubs. These activities can help to meet the need for social interaction, while also enabling your teenager to focus on one activity at a time.

5. Foster a positive attitude

Keeping the lines of communication open with teenagers is a key way to foster a positive attitude in them.

ADHD teens need this because life is more challenging for them as compared to teens without ADHD. Teens with ADHD often feel like they’re letting others down when they’re unable to follow through on their commitments.

Saying positive things to your teens and framing feedback constructively will build their self-esteem. For instance, rather than accusing your teen of not studying when he or she receives a bad grade, explore what factors contributed to the bad grade. Have a discussion with your teen about what you can do to help.

Focus on the progress your teen is making, and celebrate even small successes.

This way, when your ADHD teen needs assistance solving a problem or making a decision, he or she will be more likely to turn to you.

Words of encouragement like “I appreciate it when you complete your chores” and “You’re getting better at this” will mean a lot to your teen too.

6. Give clear and effective directions

Parenting approaches that work for non-ADHD teens don’t always work for ADHD teens.

For instance, you might be used to saying, “Please get dressed, make your bed, and eat your breakfast.”

The problem is that a teen with ADHD might hear, “Please get dressed, blah, blah, blah.”

This is because your teen is thinking about what to wear or trying to pack his bag, so he can’t process the rest of your request.

Try to give only one instruction at a time. It may also be useful for you to write down the morning routine in concise steps. When your teen is distracted or having difficulty figuring out what to do next, he or she can refer to the list to get back on track.

When teens receive clear and effective directions, they’ll be able to complete tasks more easily. As a result, they’ll feel better about themselves too.

7. Create an ADHD-friendly study environment

teen learning via VR helmet

ADHD teens need to be actively engaged with what they’re learning.

If you’re wondering how to help your teenager study more effectively, it’s not as difficult as you might think.

One of the best ways to create a suitable study environment for your teen is to have room for movement.

When your teen feels restless, encourage him or her to get up and move around. Your teen can schedule a five-minute break where he or she can jog on the spot or do a set of jumping jacks.

In addition, studies have shown that having something to fidget with while studying leads to better concentration in ADHD teens.

They also need to find creative ways to learn. The more they engage with a subject, the more information they’ll retain.

They can do mini science experiments, create fun math problems, and think of real-world applications of the concepts they’re learning. The more interactive the learning approach, the more focused they’ll be.

Conclusion

When it comes to parenting ADHD teens, communication is key.

Teens with ADHD need extra support and understanding in order to thrive.

The best way to do this is through communicating expectations, being present, maintaining a positive attitude, and being a source of continual encouragement.

As you work together with your teen, you’ll build the right foundation for your teen to find long-term success and fulfilment!

Like this article? Please share it with your friends. And don’t forget to download the free e-book below… 

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Filed Under: Communication, Parenting, Teens

11 Excuses for Not Doing Homework (And How to Stop Making Them)

Updated on August 6, 2024 By Daniel Wong 6 Comments

young man doing homework in his roomWhen you get home from school, do you find yourself making excuses for not doing your homework?

If you’re like many students, you’d rather take a nap, talk to your friends online, or play video games.

As you already know, finding reasons not to do your homework will prevent you from succeeding in school.

I’m sure you want to do well in school, and homework is definitely a part of that process.

In this article, I’ll go over 11 of the most common excuses for not doing homework and offer solutions to ensure that you stay engaged in school.

But first, make sure to download your free quick action guide…

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Excuse #1: You lack the required knowledge

Let your parents and teacher know if you’re taking a class and feel as if you lack the necessary skills or knowledge to complete the homework.

Ask your teacher for extra guidance so you don’t fall too far behind. See if your parents can find the time to help you, or you can look for a tutor.

Your teachers are there to help you develop the skills you need to do well in their classes.

You’re not alone in feeling that you lack the necessary skills, so don’t be too embarrassed to ask for assistance. You might even find some great study buddies who feel the same way.

Excuse #2: You lack confidence

Many students compare themselves to their peers, which can lead to a lack of confidence. When that happens, it’s easy to make excuses for not doing the homework.

But here’s what you need to know…

Everyone lacks confidence about something.

You might be good at math but need extra help with English. Perhaps you excel at geography but find biology confusing.

Give yourself a break.

If you lack confidence in your ability to learn a particular subject, get the support you need. Your teachers, parents, and even friends will help you out and give you a needed morale boost.

Excuse #3: Your home life is too hectic

teenager girl doing homework with headphones on

The excuses for submitting assignments late are numerous, but one that I hear often is that it’s too busy or noisy at home to focus.

Finding a quiet space and using earplugs or noise-cancelling headphones can help reduce distractions. This will make it easier for you to finish your homework.

If that doesn’t work, try finding an alternative location to do your work, like the library or a friend’s house.

You can also talk to your parents about it. They might not even be aware of all the interruptions that are preventing you from completing your schoolwork.

Excuse #4: You don’t know where to start

Feeling anxious and overwhelmed are often the main reasons that cause students to not know where to start on their homework.

If you ever feel this way, here’s what I suggest you do:

  • Take a deep breath.
  • Create a space where you can get organised.
  • Make a list of all your assignments and deadlines.
  • Work on one assignment at a time.
  • Start with an easy assignment to get a quick win, or tackle the most challenging assignment to get it out of the way.

Excuse #5: You have poor study habits

Many students develop bad study habits over their years in school.

Not everyone learns the same way or at the same pace. As such, every student will have different study habits. If what you’re doing isn’t working, try a different approach.

If you’re trying to do your homework as soon as you get home from school but can’t focus, try having a snack and taking a power nap before getting to work instead.

If you’re staying up too late studying, set a rule for yourself that you’ll start doing your homework within one hour of getting home.

Establish a routine where you do your work at roughly the same time each day. Developing routines like this will improve your study habits, which will make you a more effective student.

Excuse #6: School isn’t important to you

A common misconception is that school isn’t important, that what you learn won’t be relevant once you leave school.

This isn’t completely true.

Of course, the education system can be improved. But the knowledge you acquire in school will help you to understand and appreciate the world better.

And the process of becoming a more effective student will lead you to develop traits like self-discipline and responsibility. These are the types of traits you’ll need in order to find success at any stage of life!

Excuse #7: You’re overloaded with after-school activities

teen sleeping with her book on her face

I know it can be tough to balance schoolwork and extracurricular activities.

Maybe you’re on a sports team or you spend several hours each week volunteering.

Finding the right balance to ensure you have enough time for homework can be challenging.

When too many afterschool activities get in the way of completing your assignments on time, it’s time to review your schedule. Decide how you can prioritise the activities that are the most important.

You may need to put some activities on hold until you’re consistently staying on top of your schoolwork.

Speak with your coach, teachers, or parents about the ideas they have to help you manage your schedule more effectively.

Excuse #8: Studying is boring for you

If you find that doing your homework is uninteresting, it may be time for you to change your point of view.

I always encourage students to cultivate a growth mindset. This is a mindset where you focus more on the learning process instead of on getting good grades.

Rather than seeing a particular subject as boring, develop a sense of wonder. Decide that you’re going to be intellectually curious, and you’ll discover that we live in a fascinating world.

And while you’re on that journey, remember that the students who succeed in school find ways to get the work done even when they find the subject boring.

For example, if you don’t like math, consider that it isn’t just about numbers – it’s a way of thinking.

Reframing how you think about a subject will enable you to see it as more interesting. In turn, you’ll become a better student over time.

Excuse #9: Your teachers assign too much homework

Sometimes, it may seem like your teachers assign more homework than you can keep up with. You might even believe that what you’re required to do is unreasonable.

If you find yourself in this situation, take a moment to think about everything else you’re doing.

Are you managing your time well?

Are you struggling with a particular class?

Do you use memory techniques to enable you to learn faster?

Instead of allowing homework to overwhelm you, try talking to your teacher, tutor, or parents to figure out the best way forward for you.

Excuse #10: You already have so much overdue homework

Procrastinating on your homework can lead to a significant pile-up of assignments. This will affect your confidence in being able to complete them.

What’s more, once you get a set of new assignments, you probably won’t know how to do them because you didn’t do the previous assignments.

This creates a vicious cycle where you tell yourself that there’s no point in completing your newly assigned homework because you still have the old ones to do.

When this happens, the likelihood of completing any of the work decreases.

If you’re in this situation, set a reasonable goal of keeping up with all the newly assigned homework while completing, say, one overdue assignment a day, or one overdue assignment every two days.

Excuse #11: You don’t believe you can get good grades

If you hate school, there’s a chance that it’s because you feel the pressure to be a straight-A student.

Here’s the good news: You don’t need to be perfect. After all, there’s no such thing as a perfect student.

But you do have to put in the effort and get the work done. The rest will then fall into place.

If you’re doing your best, you’re doing great! Celebrate your progress and keep moving forward.

Take it one step at a time, and don’t worry too much about what grades you’re getting at the moment.

In closing…

There are many possible reasons for you not to finish your homework.

No matter what those reasons are, it’s important to know that the people around you want to help you succeed.

From teachers to parents to coaches, you have a support network to provide solutions to almost any obstacle you face.

Identify the excuses listed in this article that are relevant to your situation, and apply the suggested solutions.

If you do that, you’ll become a better and happier student who makes far fewer excuses related to homework!

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Filed Under: Attitude, Character, Discipline, Education, Goals, Motivation

How to Communicate With Teenagers (11 Actionable Tips for Parents)

Updated on July 2, 2024 By Daniel Wong 4 Comments

How to Communicate With Teenagers

Are you having trouble communicating with your teen?

As a parent, you know that communication is key.

But your teenager may not be opening up to talk to you about day-to-day matters, much less difficult ones.

I coach teens for a living, so I often speak with parents who are struggling to find ways to open the lines of communication with their teens.

Communication can be complex, but the good news is that parenting teens is a skill that you can get better at.

(I’m a father of three myself, so I know there’s always room for me to improve as a parent!)

In this article, I’ll discuss the topic of how to talk to your teenagers so they’ll listen to you and behave responsibly.

Apply the tips below and your relationship with your teen will become stronger too!

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11 tips for communicating with teenagers

How should I talk to my teenager?

If you find yourself asking this question, you’re in the right place.

Learning how to communicate with your teen is essential to maintaining a healthy relationship. Here are some techniques you can use to improve how you and your teen talk to each other.

1. Lecture less, listen more

As a parent, it’s easy to fall into the routine of lecturing your teenagers.

After all, you have a lot of life experience and you want to share it with them. But studies have shown that long or angry lectures simply don’t work.

So find ways to actively engage with your teen. Ask them questions like:

  • “Is there anything I can do to help you feel better?”
  • “What did you learn through this experience?”
  • “How can I support you in this situation?”

Avoid saying things to your teen like:

  • “What’s wrong with you?”
  • “What were you thinking?”

By asking questions that engage your teen in a positive way, you’ll build a solid foundation of trust.

2. Break down communication barriers

A communication barrier will develop if you frequently nag, judge, or scold your teens.

When it comes to communication, emotional barriers prevent teens from feeling secure enough to talk about what’s going on in their lives. This can cause them to start lying.

For example, if you talk to your teenage daughter about changing her behaviour, don’t start the conversation by criticising her. Instead, empathise with her and make sure she feels safe opening up about her emotions.

If you want your teens to talk to you more, you must give them your attention. Listen to your teenagers without casting judgment, and avoid jumping in with unsolicited advice.

3. Don’t blame or shame your teen

Parent shaming teen for their actions

When something goes wrong in your teen’s life, of course you want to help.

Teenagers will make mistakes, and that’s okay! It’s how they learn and gain wisdom.

When your teens come to you to talk, resist the urge to blame or shame them for whatever has happened.

Instead, be understanding and compassionate. Let your teenagers know that it’s okay that they made a mistake.

Help them to process their emotions and reflect on what they’ve learned through the situation.

By doing so, they’ll feel more comfortable sharing things with you.

4. Help your teen think things through

Too often, teenagers make impulsive decisions. It takes time and experience to understand that thinking things through leads to the best outcomes.

If you know or suspect that your teenager is struggling with a problem, check in to see what’s going on.

Whenever possible, help your teens to think through the situation so they can see things from a different perspective.

Over time, they’ll learn to do this on their own, which is a valuable skill they’ll be able to use for years to come.

5. Don’t let things escalate

As a parent, you’ll have tough days when the stress of everyday life gets to you.

At those times, it’s more likely that a conversation with your teen will result in a heated argument that hurts the relationship.

When the tension starts to rise, you could say something like:

  • “I need some time to think about this.”
  • “Let’s talk about this later, please. I need a bit of space to calm down.”

When you say things like that, you ensure that when you do sit down and talk with your teen, you’ll be able to have a calm discussion. This will show your teen that you care about and respect him or her.

6. Make it easy for your teen to engage with you

Is your teen withdrawn?

Sometimes, it’s hard for teens to talk to others about what’s happening in their lives because of a fear of being judged.

Keeping the lines of communication open is essential, especially during the teenage years of self-discovery.

Research has shown – not surprisingly – that when parents listen to their teens actively and attentively, their teens felt a greater sense of closeness, autonomy, and self-worth.

It’s challenging, but do your best to be that kind of parent to your teen every day!

7. Express empathy

Parent showing empathy

Many teenagers feel as if no one understands what they’re going through.

This can cause them to feel lonely, anxious, or angry.

By communicating empathetically with your teen, you’re showing that you’re doing your best to understand how he or she feels.

When you say, “I know this seems unfair,” or “It must be frustrating to feel as if you don’t fit in,” you’re letting your teenager know that you’re trying to put yourself in his or her shoes.

Empathy is a healthy way to create understanding and deal with teenage attitude.

8. Refrain from using threats

Teenagers are developing their sense of identity apart from you, so it’s normal for them to test boundaries.

Your teens might say, “I’ll do it later,” when you’ve already made it clear that you need the chore done now.

As a parent, this is frustrating, and punishments or threats might seem like the most effective approach.

But threats rarely work, and only serve to damage the relationship you have with your teen.

What should you do instead?

Try communication strategies such as:

  • Giving your teenagers choices whenever possible
  • Connecting with them more and criticising them less
  • Talking to them about their hobbies and interests
  • Saying positive things to them every day

9. Be real with your teen

As a parent, you obviously want to have a great relationship with your teens. Don’t be afraid to tell them this.

Tell them that you love them, and show affection in the ways that they appreciate.

Rather than using “you” statements, which can feel accusatory, try using “I” statements that focus on how you feel.

Here’s an example:

  • “You” statement: “You’re not working hard enough.”
  • “I” statement: “I feel worried that you won’t do as well as you expect for the exam next week.”

And here’s one more example:

  • “You” statement: “You never complete your chores.”
  • “I” statement: “I really appreciate it when you complete your chores every day.”

To modify a quote by leadership expert Craig Groeschel: “Teens would rather follow a parent who is always real, rather than a parent who is always right.”

10. Apply active listening techniques

Parent listening to their childYou may have heard of active listening before.

It’s the process of listening such that the other person feels heard and understood.

Active listening isn’t just about using specific techniques, but must come from a place of authenticity and empathy.

Make sure to really listen to what your teens are telling you by maintaining eye contact, asking clarifying questions, and using phrases like, “Tell me more.”

Nod periodically and keep your arms uncrossed. In this way, your teenagers will feel as if you’re fully present with them.

11. Focus on specific behaviours instead of making general statements

Avoid making general statements about what your teen is or isn’t doing that you’re concerned about.

For example, don’t tell your teens that they’re not managing their time well.

Instead, say that you noticed that they were on their phone for two hours straight after school. This is despite the fact that you know they have an incomplete project that’s due tomorrow.

When you focus on specific behaviours, your teenagers will be less likely to turn defensive.

You’ll then be able to work together with them to find an acceptable solution.

Conclusion

Everything worth doing in life requires effort and commitment.

It definitely requires lots of effort and commitment on your part to be able to communicate effectively with your teens.

But it’s worth it.

So I encourage you to start using the communication techniques listed in this article today!

If you like this article, please share it with your friends.

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