Daniel Wong, Author at Daniel Wong

On Rejection, Disappointment, And Living Courageously

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong

Rejection

I fearfully opened the email.

It read:

“Dear Daniel, I regret to inform you that we’re not interested in your manuscript. Best of luck finding a suitable publisher.”

I’d been rejected. Again.

I sighed. This feeling was becoming much too familiar.

At least this publisher bothered to take a minute to write me a reply, I thought. Better than the dozens of other publishers who hadn’t even shown me that courtesy.

I had already submitted my manuscript to so many publishers and agents that I’d lost count.

I was on the brink of giving up. A wannabe author can only take so much rejection, right?

My great idea that nobody liked

Months earlier, I’d developed the concept for the book. Its title would be The Happy Student: 5 Steps to Academic Fulfillment and Success.

I had it all planned out.

Not your typical self-help or how-to book, The Happy Student wouldn’t just hype readers up or make them experience a temporary surge of motivation.

Instead, it would empower them to find enduring success and fulfillment. It wouldn’t merely be an inspirational book; it would equip readers with the precious life skills that young adults need to thrive.

The Happy Student would be based on my personal experiences.

16 years of being a straight-A but mostly unhappy student, 16 years of constant questioning what the purpose of education is, 16 years of wisdom and insight… all compiled into an easy-to-read manual of life.

A book written by a student, for students.

“Happy and successful”—that would be the book’s catchphrase.

Doesn’t this all sound fantastic? It did to me, at least.

The Happy Student would impact readers around the world. It would be on all the bestseller lists.

Students and parents would flock to bookstores to get their copy. It would be the start of a global “happy” revolution.

And with the royalty payments I would receive, I’d be set for life.

Or so I imagined.

Dealing with discouragement and disappointment

But I couldn’t even get a single agent or publisher to take a second look at—much less like or love—my manuscript.

A far cry from being an international bestseller!

It wasn’t just the rejections from publishers and agents that left me feeling discouraged.

Some of my friends’ remarks were discouraging too:

“Come on, Daniel. Who gets a book published when they’re 20-something years old?”
“Maybe you should wait until you have more credibility before you approach publishers and agents.”
“You know, people who write books on education usually have a PhD in psychology or education.”

I don’t blame my friends.

They weren’t trying to be negative or nasty. They were just being realistic.

Discouraging friends. Discouraging publishers. Discouraging agents.

I had no idea that trying to get a book published would make me feel so hopeless!

How to write a (moderately) successful book

Fast forward one and a half years.

The Happy Student has sold thousands of copies, and it comes in both an International and Asian edition.

I’d call it a moderate success.

It’s not quite—and has never been—a top-ranked Amazon book. Neither can I choose to retire now and just live off my royalty payments.

So some of the dreams I mentioned earlier have come true, but not all of them.

I’ve learned not to find satisfaction in my status as a “published author.”

Instead, my greatest reward comes every time readers tell me that The Happy Student has inspired and empowered them to pursue excellence, that it has changed their outlook on life in some way.

That’s what makes it all worth it.

Today, when people say things to me like “What an achievement that you’re already a published author!” or “You’re an impressive young man,” I shrug off the comments.

My long list of fears

To me, I’m just a normal guy who had a normal dream. A normal dream that made me afraid.

Afraid of rejection. Afraid of what others would think of me. Afraid of disappointing myself. Afraid of failure.

Through the book-writing experience, I’ve learned that there’s no such thing as being fearless. Everyone has fears. I, for one, have plenty of them.

I’ll confess that it even took me a while to get over the fear of writing this post.

As someone who aspires to always be tough, strong and steadfast, it’s not natural for me to put myself out there through my writing.

The thought of allowing myself to be vulnerable… it makes me uncomfortable. Terrified, even.

So I’m writing this post in the hope that it will encourage you to do what you already know you ought to.

If that’s you, you know who you are.

I hope this post is that push you need to take on that project, start that business, nurture that relationship, or have that conversation.

After all, courage isn’t the absence of fear; it’s the willingness to confront fear.

And the only way you’ll be willing to confront your fears is to get beyond yourself, to see that conquering your fears is really about benefiting others.

Sure, facing your fears will benefit you by making you a bigger person, but your example will also give someone else the courage to face their fears.

Living without regret

Going back to my publishing story, I eventually got in touch with an agent who was interested in my book project, but not interested enough to take me on board as her client.

But she generously connected me with David Hancock, CEO of Morgan James Publishing, the firm that eventually published The Happy Student.

The rest is history.

Would I have regretted it if I’d put in all that effort to try and get the book published, but no publisher ever accepted the manuscript?

If you’d asked me that question before I embarked on the project, I would’ve said “yes.”

Ask me now, and I’ll reply, “Not at all.”

This change in perspective happened because I realize it’s far more likely that you’ll regret the things you don’t try at all, rather than the things you try and fail at.

How to live courageously

The courage to try and fail—that’s something that needs to be cultivated. You don’t wake up one day and suddenly find that you’ve had a big bravery boost.

The easiest way to build courage is to continually get beyond yourself.

Stop asking “What’s in it for me?”, and start asking “How will this add value to someone else?”

Stop asking “What will people think of me if I fail?”. Stop caring what people think and start asking “How many lives will I fail to make a difference to if I don’t at least try?”

Courage isn’t about focusing on yourself and your fears and your challenges.

It’s about focusing on others.

No matter what your dream is, I’m sure it will take courage for you to realize it.

Think about others, and I know you’ll find all the courage you’ll need.

So take the next step. The world is counting on you. 🙂

10 Ways To Make The Most Of Criticism

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong

online comment

These are just a few of the many nasty comments I’ve received from Yahoo! readers.

When I started blogging for Yahoo! last year, I didn’t have any idea that I would generate this much hatred!

(To be fair, I’ve also received lots of encouraging comments.)

Writing for Yahoo! has been a humbling experience, because I’ve never been the target of such intense criticism and negativity before.

At first, I felt upset about receiving this kind of feedback.

After all, I spend hours writing each article, and I sincerely want to add value to my readers. Moreover, I do all of this writing without getting paid a single cent.

Are you pushing your own buttons?

But I’ve come to realize that every time we feel offended or upset, it’s an indication that we have our own personal issues we need to address.

We lose our cool when our “buttons” are pushed, but we have to take full responsibility for these buttons in the first place.

Do we have insecurities we need to overcome? Are there things in our past that we have yet to deal with? What areas do we need to grow in?

Reflecting on my experience as a Yahoo! blogger, I’ve come up with 10 ways to deal with criticism.

Here they are:

1. Don’t take the criticism personally.

Understand that you’re not being attacked personally.

The critic just has an issue with your ideas or behaviour. It’s only when you refuse to take the criticism personally that you’ll be able to benefit from it.

2. Look for the truth in the criticism.

Take a step back from the situation and ask yourself which aspects of the criticism are valid. This will allow you to decide on the action steps you can take to develop yourself.

3. Wait before responding to the criticism.

It’s natural to feel angry when someone criticizes you. Take at least 15 minutes to cool off before you respond to the criticism.

If you respond immediately, it’s more likely that you’ll say something you’ll regret.

4. Learn that you don’t always have to be right.

Getting criticized reminds you that not everyone agrees with you. When you let go of your need to be right all the time, your mind will be opened to new perspectives and ideas.

5. Remember that it’s okay to have flaws.

No one is perfect, and that’s alright. Receiving criticism reminds you of this.

6. Work on your unresolved issues.

If you feel offended by the criticism, it’s a sign that you have other issues to work on.

Are you a people-pleaser? Do you have deep-seated fears? Do you have an anger management problem?

This is a great opportunity for you to pinpoint any unresolved issues you might have and get to work on addressing them.

7. Remind yourself that it’s only people who dare to try who will ever be criticized.

The way to prevent yourself from ever getting criticized is simple: Do nothing. Attempt nothing. Say nothing.

If you want to make a lasting difference in this world and to the people around you, you’re going be criticized, sooner or later.

This means that if you continually receive criticism, you’re on the right track!

8. Learn to forgive.

If you’ve been hurt by the criticism, learn to let go and to forgive the critic.

This way, you won’t carry around an unnecessary burden, and you’ll be able to make the most of the feedback.

9. Remind yourself that haters are going to hate.

No matter how solid your plan is, how innovative your idea is, how eloquent your speech is, how well-written your article is—there will be someone who has something negative to say.

Ignore the people who hate just for the sake of hating. There are plenty of such people out there.

10. Develop your personal definition of success.

Years ago, I wrote down my personal definition of success:

“Success to me is loving life and loving lives, constantly giving and constantly growing.”

Every time I feel discouraged, I refer to this and remind myself that as long as I’m living according to this definition, then I’m a success, regardless of what the critics say.

I encourage you to write down your own definition today and review it every time you receive negative feedback. This will allow you to see the criticism in a new light.

In closing…

I love this saying by Emil Rhodes: “No one ever built a statue to a critic.”

Instead, people build statues to those who dream big and dare to fail, those who dare to be criticized.

If we’re serious about developing ourselves and leading a meaningful life, we’re going to get criticized.

So let’s turn the criticism we receive from a stumbling block into a stepping stone to greater things!

Want a More Exciting Life? The One Mindset Change You Need to Make

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong

skydiving

Ever wonder how some people manage to always be so full of enthusiasm and excitement?

They’re continually working on new projects and coming up with innovative ideas.

Whatever they do, they do it with passion. It seems like they’re on a perpetual mission to change the world.

Maybe you feel like you’re on the other end of the spectrum.

Shouldn’t life be more exciting?

Most of the time, life is a struggle. There are so many mundane things you have to do, so many obligations you have to fulfill.

You’re overwhelmed by all the stress and problems you face.

It’s not that you don’t have your happy moments.

When you’re hanging out with your friends or watching your favorite TV show or listening to music… life seems a little bit better.

But those moments feel like a temporary escape from the rest of your uninteresting life.

You really wish your life were more thrilling, more filled with a sense of adventure. But you just don’t know how to get out of the rut you’re in.

How to make stepping stones out of stumbling blocks

People who lead inspired lives and people who lead thoroughly uninspired ones—the cards they’re dealt in life are usually fairly alike.

It’s what they do with those cards they’re dealt that makes the difference.

Clichéd, I know. But it’s true.

As author Jack Penn once said, “One of the secrets of life is to make stepping stones out of stumbling blocks.”

It all starts with your mindset.

There are basically two approaches you can have. You can either choose to:

Protect life, or
Pursue it

Mindset #1: Protecting life

When you try to protect life, you operate from a place of fear.

Fear is a natural response to life in general. After all, there are an infinite number of bad things that could happen to you!

Many companies prey on our desire for protection.

Protection from death.

Protection from disease.

Protection from discomfort.

That’s why companies that sell insurance, make seat belts, produce vaccines and mosquito nets, and manufacture air conditioning units are profitable.

I’m not saying that these products are bad. I, for one, can’t think of anything better than enjoying some air conditioning on a sweltering day.

But if your prevailing thought is about how you ought to protect your life, then you’re never going to have a meaningful and exciting one.

Mindset #2: Pursuing life

People who lead a life of purpose have come to the realization that death is an inescapable reality.

They have fully come to terms with their mortality.

This explains why they’re constantly on a mission.

They’re not just here on earth to find something to do. They’re here on earth to do something.

When you pursue life, you don’t sit around and wait for things to happen. Instead, you make things happen.

You have a strong bias for action, even when you’re not 100% sure what the best thing to do is.

You recognize that a little action trumps a lot of thinking, every time.

Even when it comes to areas of your life such as relationships, you take the initiative to cultivate strong ones.

You don’t just go with the flow and hope that you’ll end up with good relationships.

3 simple ways to find happiness

It’s interesting to note that in happiness surveys conducted all around the world, the three basic factors that contribute most to happiness are the same:

Good relationships
Good health
Satisfying work

When you boil it down to these three elements, it doesn’t seem like happiness should be that hard to find, right?

Being happy shouldn’t be our only goal, but you’ll probably agree with me that it is an important one.

When you choose to pursue life, instead of protect it, there’s no doubt that you’ll make plenty of progress in terms of your relationships, health and work.

Building strong relationships, being physically healthy, and choosing to do meaningful work—these are areas we have a lot of control over.

It just requires that we take full responsibility for our lives and intentionally make choices that are in line with what we want in the long term.

In closing…

The desire to protect life is what’s natural to us.

But what’s necessary, if we want to leave behind a marvelous legacy, is to pursue life.

It’s clear that winners focus on winning.

But losers don’t focus on losing, obviously. Rather, they focus on getting by, on merely surviving.

Losers protect life. Winners pursue it.

Experiencing a life of adventure—and finding long-lasting happiness, too—isn’t a matter of chance. It’s a matter of choice.

Let’s choose wisely.

Give Me Two Minutes And I’ll Show You If You’re Educated Or Not

Updated on August 10, 2021 By Daniel Wong

keep calm and educate

“What is a college? An institute of learning. What is a business? An institute of learning. Life, itself, is an institute of learning.” – Thomas Edison

So you’re done with your formal education.

You’ve gone through 12 years or 16 years—or even longer than that—of schooling.

You’ve memorized countless facts and equations (how many of those facts and equations you still remember today—that’s probably a different story), taken hundreds of tests and exams, and sat through thousands of hours of class.

But all of this doesn’t guarantee that you’re an educated person.

Going to school isn’t the same as getting an education.

I recently read a wonderful book on education entitled Weapons of Mass Instruction by John Taylor Gatto.

In his book, Gatto explains what it means to be educated (I’ve summarized his points):

Educated people aren’t at a loss about what to do with their time. They don’t feel bored when they’re alone because enjoy their own company.
Educated people have the ability to build strong relationships wherever they go.
Educated people have fully come to terms with their mortality. They live their lives knowing that death is an inescapable reality.
Educated people reflect on their life experiences and continually gain new insights, even up until the point of death.
Educated people have a healthy self-esteem.
Educated people are knowledgeable about different cultures.
Educated people are proactive about creating new ideas.
Educated people discover truth for themselves by analyzing the evidence they’re presented with. They don’t try to discover truth by memorizing the opinions of others, not even the opinions of so-called “experts.”
Educated people seek to make a living by meeting the needs of others.
Educated people don’t deceive themselves into thinking that money will buy them happiness. Instead, they recognize that the most valuable things—love, curiosity, courage, empathy—are free of charge.
Educated people actively seek variety in their lives.

This list isn’t exhaustive, but it does help you to see that there’s a huge difference between being learned and being educated.

Okay, your two minutes are up.

Are you educated?

I know I’ve got plenty of work to do if I want to consider myself educated!

3 Mistakes That Lead To Mediocrity

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong

be fearful of mediocrity

Don’t you hate it when bloggers preach to you as if they have all the answers?

So I’m not planning to do that in this post. 🙂

After all, I still struggle.

I get distracted by unimportant tasks.

I’m not as disciplined as I should be.

I lack the motivation to do some things that I know I ought to.

I am, however, a relentless observer of what makes for a remarkable life. I realize that, in the pursuit of a meaningful life, we often make this mistake:

We confuse what describes us with what defines us.

People describe us based on our characteristics:

Physical appearance
Social status
Occupation
Education
Abilities
Strengths
Weaknesses
Wealth

But there are only two things that define us: our character and our commitments.

If we focus on our “description” instead of our “definition,” we’ll eventually end up shortchanging ourselves.

Here are three mistakes I’ve seen people make, which lead to mediocrity:

1. You solve problems instead of committing to causes.

It’s easy to become a hostage to the present, hostage to the urgent issues that are crying out for your attention.

Remember, however, that you’re the custodian and creator of the future.

You’re not defined by the problems you solve, especially not the urgent but unimportant ones. You’re defined by the causes you commit yourself to.

Sure, even if you commit yourself to a cause, there will still be fires to put out.

But your focus won’t be on eliminating the problem. Instead, it’ll be on elevating the cause.

There’s a big difference.

Clearly, it’s impossible to commit to that many causes, whether they’re social, environmental, entrepreneurial or family ones. But whatever cause you do commit yourself to, make sure you’re all in, all the time.

2. You work hard to achieve goals instead of working hard to live out your values.

Whether or not you write down your goals, you’re probably a goal-oriented person.

You want to attain a certain amount of material wealth, a certain level of education, or enjoy a certain kind of family life.

Despite our fascination with people who have achieved incredible goals, it’s not the goals we achieve that define us.

We’re defined by the principles we embody.

It’s not about professing what’s important to you or what you stand for. It’s not about declaring what values you hold to.

It’s about allowing those values to get a hold of you and guide you in everything you do.

Mediocrity is centered on performance, rather than principles.

3. You’re more focused on building a legacy than on empowering people.

I know lots of driven, ambitious people who want to both be amazing and do amazing things.

Nothing wrong with that.

Nonetheless, we shouldn’t primarily be concerned about the awesomeness of the campfire that we’re building. Rather, we should concentrate on how we’re keeping other people warm.

We shouldn’t merely aim to help others and meet their needs.

More than that, we should aim to empower them.

If you help people without simultaneously empowering them, you make them feel even more helpless and needy.

This principle holds true whether you’re a social worker, personal trainer, business person, investment banker or parent.

At the heart of it, real poverty isn’t a lack of material things. It’s a feeling of powerlessness. We hurt people every time we help them without also empowering them.

In closing…

Psychiatrist M. Scott Peck wisely observed that “a fundamental sign of mental health is the realization that life is tough.”

There are pressing concerns we need to address if we’re to survive in this world, because life is tough.

But we also need to periodically take a step back from our busy lives to ask ourselves: Who or what defines me?

Yes, it’s your character and your commitments that define you. Nevertheless, when it’s all said and done, it’s your choices that define you.

A meaningful life isn’t built in a day. It’s built one day at a time, one decision at a time.

Let’s not settle for mediocrity when meaning is what we’re after.

Too Young to Make a Choice, Too Old to Make a Change?

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong

puppy stuck in tree

Your parents love you a lot.

That’s why, when you were growing up, they probably made a lot of decisions for you:

What clothes you wore
Which schools you attended
What kind of sports and activities you participated in
Which friends you hung out with
Which toys you played with
Which TV shows you watched
What time you went to bed

As a kid, you naturally gave in to what your parents wanted you to do.

After all, they knew what was best for you.

(In this other article I wrote, I challenge the idea that parents want what’s best for their children. Most of the time, they only want what’s good.)

Feeling “stuck” when you’re young

I don’t doubt that parents have excellent intentions when they make choices on their children’s behalf.

But, very often, this is the message that gets communicated to their children:

“You’re too young to make a choice. You’re naïve and foolish, so I’ll make the choice for you.”

Many children grow up believing this message well into their late teens and early 20s. This is a problem.

At the end of the day, all of us need to take full responsibility for our lives. No matter how terrible or overbearing our parents are, we should never blame them for the way our lives turn out.

I don’t deny, however, that our parents have a huge impact on our lives.

The older you get, the more of your own choices you get to make, but many parents still act as if they should always have the final say.

Feeling “stuck” when you’re old

Some time in your late teens or early 20s, you start your first full-time job. You begin taking on a variety of responsibilities: financial, social, family.

Up until that point in your life, you might have felt like you were too young to make a choice.

With all these responsibilities and “adult” things to deal with, you experience a sharp transition.

You’re now too old to make a change.

“I can’t quit my job. If I do, what will happen to my mortgage payments?”

“If I start my own business and fail, how will I provide for my family?”

“If I don’t go down the ‘safe’ path, what will other people think of me? What will my parents think of me?”

Four beliefs to embrace if you want to get “unstuck”

This is a frustrating, painful and helpless situation that many young adults find themselves in.

There’s a way out, but it requires you to embrace these four beliefs:

1. If you want to find happiness and fulfillment, you must run your own race.

Many of us try to run the race that other people want us to run. If we do that, we effectively place our long-term happiness in another person’s keeping.

Clearly, not a good idea.

Running your own race means that you’re only competing against yourself, not against other people.

2. Being a winner isn’t about finishing first. It’s about finishing well.

I’m sure you’ll agree with me that how you finish matters more than how you start.

That’s true in any sort of race or competition, and it’s also true in life.

But being a real winner—one who experiences enduring success—isn’t about finishing first. It’s about finishing well and finishing strong.

It’s about leading a meaningful life that you can be proud of.

It’s about making a difference in the lives of others.

When you understand this, it won’t be so difficult to make changes later on in your life, because you won’t be overly concerned about getting “left behind” if your decisions don’t work out.

3. You’re never too old to dream a new dream.

Neither are you too old to set a new goal.

You won’t achieve every one of your goals, and you won’t realize every one of your dreams.

But joy and meaning are found in the pursuit—and not the attainment—of purposeful goals and dreams.

It’s an unfortunate fact that dreams do die. Choose to walk away from the disappointment and dream a new dream.

4. Being “stuck” isn’t a feeling. It’s a choice.

If you feel “stuck” but aren’t willing to take action to improve your situation, then you’ve chosen to be stuck.

When you start asking “How can I?” instead of “Can I?” you’ll begin to see that there’s always something you can do. There’s always a way out.

The solution may not be immediate, and it may not be easy. But it’s there for you to choose. So choose bravely and wisely.

In closing…

Contrary to how many of us feel as we mature from childhood to adulthood, we’re never too young to make a choice, and we’re never too old to make a change.

Life is too short and too full of wondrous potential for us to feel stuck.

Today, let’s make a choice and make a change.

(This post was inspired by Veronika Decides to Die by Paulo Coelho.)

10 Questions That Successful Parents Ask Themselves

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong

Parenting

Parenting is an awesome responsibility that involves a huge amount of work.

It isn’t easy to be a great parent!

I’ve had the privilege of speaking to and working with thousands of students and parents. Through these interactions, I’ve come to realize that despite their good intentions, parents often do things that confuse, annoy, anger or frustrate their children.

I’ve noticed the many mistakes that parents make in trying to raise happy and successful children.

I’ve also observed what winning parents do differently.

Based on these observations, I’ve come up with a list of 10 questions that all successful parents ask themselves.

(Just to be clear, I’m writing this post from a child and a student’s perspective. Also, to avoid repeatedly writing “he or she,” I’ll assume that the child I refer to is a girl.)

1. Do I want what’s good for my child or what’s best?

(This point is inspired by this excellent article.)

It’s natural for parents to advise their children to pursue the safe, predictable and practical route.

Parents do this because they don’t want their children to experience uncertainty or discomfort.

This is the good path.

But is it the best path?

In most cases, no. The best path is usually the one that’s full of challenges, obstacles and disappointments.

It might even be full of the “f” word: failure.

Winning parents distinguish between “good” and “best,” and continually encourage their children to choose “best.”

2. Do I measure my success as a parent by the quality of the relationship, or by how effectively I can control my child?

Winning parents understand that it’s more important to build a relationship with their child than it is to find innovative ways to control her behavior.

Just because your child obeys your instructions doesn’t mean that you’re a world-class parent. It just means that your child is obedient.

If this obedience comes at the cost of your parent-child relationship, the tradeoff might not be worth it.

In addition, you want your child to be confident. The question is: How to raise a confident child if you’re constantly micromanaging them? It isn’t possible.

3. Do I speak to my child as if she’s destined for success?

Let’s say that your child does something bad.

She steals a pen from the school bookshop.

How would most parents react?

Most parents would say to her, “How could you do something like that?!? You’re such a bad girl. You’re so dishonest! I’m ashamed that I’m your parent. I’m going to punish you!”

Successful parents, on the other hand, say something more along the lines of this:

“I’m surprised that you would do something like this. You’re usually such an honest and well-behaved girl. I would never have expected you to do this. I’m still going to punish you so that you’ll learn from this mistake, but this is really so unlike you.”

Children have a strange way of becoming what others’ view of them is—especially their parents’.

If you speak to your children as if they’re destined for success, it’s more than likely that they’ll live up to the good name you’ve already given them.

4. Do I say the following things to my child?

I’m proud of you.
I believe in you.
You can do it!
I’m there for you.
I love you.
I’m sorry. I was wrong.
Will you forgive me?
Thank you.
What do you think?

Winning parents do.

5. Am I trying to make my child successful just so that I will feel successful?

It’s difficult to measure the success of a parent, which explains why many parents subconsciously decide that they’ll measure their own success by how successful their children become.

This can be very unhealthy, because parents can force their own—sometimes narrow and restrictive—definition of success on their children.

Winning parents deliberately define success for themselves, and allow their children to do the same.

6. Do I recognize that I’m responsible to my child and not for her?

Parents often think that they’re responsible for their children.

Responsible for their academic performance, for their behavior, for their social etiquette.

But no—parents are only responsible to their children.

Parents are responsible to their children by giving them love and support and a good home environment.

Children are responsible for their own lives.

If your child misbehaves in school, she’s the one who will be punished, not you.

Successful parents recognize that they aren’t responsible for their children, so these parents don’t carry a burden that they were never meant to carry anyway.

7. Do I model the behavior that I want my child to exhibit?

An example:

Most parents want their children to be curious and to love learning.

If you’re a parent, when was the last time you talked to your child about something you learned recently that you thought was super cool?

8. Do I focus more on what my child does or on who she is becoming?

This anonymous quote sums it up:

Many succeed momentarily by what they know;

some succeed temporarily by what they do;

few succeed permanently by what they are.

Winning parents empower their children to pursue permanent success.

9. Do I end every lecture with LOVE?

When parents reprimand their children, the message of love doesn’t always get communicated.

Successful parents, on the other hand, conclude every lecture with a reminder to their child just how much they love her.

They end with LOVE, not anger or disappointment or frustration.

10. Do I ask my child to make a commitment, or do I force her into doing things?

Winning parents understand that every great student, musician, athlete, entrepreneur, technician, salesperson, etc. came to a point where they made a commitment to greatness.

Commitment involves making a choice. You can’t force someone to be great.

That’s why successful parents don’t coerce their children into taking action. Instead, they allow their children to make choices and to take responsibility for those choices.

In closing…

Parenting is a noble calling.

To all you parents (and future parents) reading this, I know you’re up to the challenge.

Image: Parent and child