Motivation Archives - Page 2 of 2

10 Common Parenting Mistakes That Demotivate Your Children

Updated on July 4, 2017 By Daniel Wong 1 Comment

Wouldn’t it be great if your children were motivated, independent learners?

That way, you wouldn’t have to nag or scold them to do their homework, and life would be easier for everyone.

Parents often tell me how frustrated they are that their children aren’t interested in school.

They’re also concerned that this lack of motivation will carry over to other areas of life.

The problem is that parents often demotivate their children unintentionally.

Here are 10 of the most common mistakes parents make – so do your best to avoid them in your home.

Get my FREE e-book, 16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager. The e-book has already been downloaded by more than 18,000 happy parents.

Mistake #1: Give your children too many rewards based on achievement or behaviour

This is a trap that many parents fall into, and for good reason. The first time you try it, it seems to work.

You might tell your children that you’ll pay them a dollar each time they get more than 85% for a class test. This seems to work because they start studying harder.

You think to yourself, “Great. Problem solved!”

Then a few weeks later you realise their motivation has waned. They complain that getting a good grade deserves more than one dollar.

An argument breaks out, and you find yourself justifying the price. You even explain that studying hard is their basic responsibility as a student.

If this describes your situation, you’re not alone.

Many studies show that rewards and punishments work in the short term, but not in the long term.

(Read on to find out what other approaches you can try instead.)

Mistake #2: Overemphasise the importance of academics

Parents think that emphasising the importance of academics will motivate their children to work hard.

The problem is that this approach doesn’t turn your children into lifelong learners.

Learning isn’t just about getting good grades. It’s also about enjoying the process.

When children enjoy learning, they become motivated to keep on learning.

Grades can affect your job prospects, but many great leaders weren’t great students. Unfortunately, many of the students I’ve worked with tell me that their parents seem to think that grades are the only thing that matters.

We now know that there are many different types of intelligence and that the education system only measures some of these.

All parents would agree that social skills, character development, and learning to relax and reflect are also important areas of focus.

When parents dismiss their children’s hobbies and games as a waste of time, they hurt their children’s feelings and damage the parent-child relationship.

Parents must value and respect their children’s activities. Dance and sport can improve kinaesthetic intelligence, and games and discussions can boost intrapersonal intelligence.

These are vital skills for children to learn and carry with them through life. [Read more…]

12 Reasons Your Child Seems Lazy and Unmotivated (And What You Can Do About It)

Updated on January 8, 2020 By Daniel Wong 16 Comments

Everyone struggles with motivation at some point.

Children and teenagers are no exceptions.

If your children start to exhibit signs like worsening grades, a lack of interest in activities, or a tendency toward isolation, your children probably are not lazy.

They may just be dealing with other issues that haven’t been addressed yet.

Thankfully, there are ways to overcome these difficulties and create a healthy environment in which your children can flourish.

In this article, you’ll learn 12 common reasons for your children’s decreased motivation. You’ll also learn how to address these issues both sensitively and effectively.

Let’s get started.

Get my FREE e-book, 16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager. The e-book has already been downloaded by more than 18,000 happy parents.

Reason #1: Your child feels overwhelmed or discouraged.

Think about how you deal with overwhelming issues as an adult.

If you don’t know where to start, you focus on small portions of the problem or find a way to look at the issue in a new light.

But children don’t automatically know how to do this.

So when a stressful situation arises, walk your children through the problem.

What’s overwhelming about the issue?

Where should we start?

What are some possible solutions?

These types of probing questions will get your children to examine the problem in a calm manner. By working on the problem together with them, they’ll know that they’re not alone.

Children can also become overwhelmed by discouragement.

Remind your children that failures help them to learn, and that you’re no less proud of them when they experience setbacks. Encouragement is an excellent motivator in children, so offer it freely and often.

Reason #2: There’s an ongoing power struggle between you and your child.

Every parent dreads the infamous battle of the wills. It can play out in many ways when it comes to motivation.

For example, if your children are lagging behind in a particular subject and you deal with the situation in a harsh manner, they may simply shut down.

They may refuse to comply with your requests just to further anger you.

Many parents find that offering choices instead of issuing commands works well as an alternative approach.

For instance, you could ask your child, “Would you like to go to the library and find books on this subject, or would you like to approach your teacher for help?”

This type of question gives your children some freedom, while still pointing them in the right direction. [Read more…]

How to Stop Procrastinating on Homework: 30 Powerful Tips That Work

Updated on January 8, 2020 By Daniel Wong 23 Comments

You know what it feels like when everything hits you at once, right?

You have three tests to study for. You have a math assignment due tomorrow. And then you’ve got a history report due the day after.

You tell yourself to get down to work. But with so much to do, you feel overwhelmed.

And so you procrastinate.

You check Facebook, watch a few YouTube videos, and get yourself a drink.

But you know that none of this is bringing you closer to getting the work done.

Sound familiar?

Don’t worry – you are not alone. Procrastination is a problem that everyone faces, but there are ways around it.

By following the tips in this article, you’ll be able to overcome it.

So read on to discover 30 powerful tips to help you stop procrastinating on your homework.

FREE BONUS: Handy PDF summary of this article, which includes 3 bonus tips.

Enter your email in the box below to download the PDF file.

Get your FREE summary and 3 bonus tips

1. Take a quiz to see how much you procrastinate.

The first step to changing your behavior is to become more self-aware.

How often do you procrastinate? What kinds of tasks do you tend to put off? Is procrastination a small or big problem for you?

To answer these questions, I suggest that you take this online quiz designed by Psychology Today.

2. Figure out why you’re procrastinating.

Procrastination is a complex issue that involves multiple factors.

Are you procrastinating because:

You’re not sure you’ll be able to solve all the homework problems?
You’re subconsciously rebelling against your teachers or parents?
You’re not interested in the subject or topic?
You’re physically or mentally tired?
You’re waiting for the perfect time to start?
You don’t know where to start?

Once you’ve identified exactly why you’re procrastinating, you can pick out the tips in this article that will get to the root of the problem.

3. Write down what you’re procrastinating on.

Students tend to procrastinate when they’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed.

But you might be surprised to discover that simply by writing down the specific tasks you’re putting off, the situation will feel more manageable.

It’s a quick solution, and it makes a real difference.

Give it a try and you’ll be less likely to procrastinate. [Read more…]

40 Powerful Quotes That Will Motivate You to Study

Updated on January 8, 2020 By Daniel Wong 120 Comments

Do you sometimes struggle with a lack of motivation?

You’re supposed to be studying for next week’s test. But instead you end up texting your friends, watching YouTube videos, or playing games.

After procrastinating for an hour or more, you finally get to work.

But you just don’t feel that motivated.

Sound familiar?

Developing long-term motivation is a complicated issue.

But you can stay motivated in the short term by reading inspirational quotes.

So I’ve compiled this list of 40 powerful quotes to help you study hard for your next test or exam.

The quotes are listed below according to the following categories:

Believing in yourself
Cultivating a success mindset
Overcoming procrastination
Hard work
Not making excuses
Perseverance

FREE BONUS: Download a PDF summary of this article. The PDF contains all the quotes found here, plus 10 exclusive bonus quotes that you’ll only find in the PDF.

Believing in yourself

1. Believe you can and you’re halfway there.

2. You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them.

3. It always seems impossible until it’s done.

4. Don’t let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do. – John Wooden [Read more…]

8 Truths That Successful Students Understand

Updated on April 8, 2019 By Daniel Wong 11 Comments

Through my work with 15,000 students so far, I’ve begun to see what separates successful students from not-so-successful ones.

And I’m not just talking about academic performance. I’m talking about their overall development, and their willingness to learn and grow, even through disappointments.

The key doesn’t lie in successful students’ innate intelligence or talent. Instead, the foundation of their success lies in their beliefs — the truths they take to heart.

These are the eight most important truths that successful students both understand and embrace:

1. Life is challenging

Many students expect life to be relatively easy. They know that hard work is important, but they don’t believe they’ll need to work that hard to get what they want.

For example, I once gave a talk to an auditorium filled with 18-year-old students. At the end of the talk, a student came up to me and said, “Thank you for the talk, Daniel! I’m feeling inspired. I’d like to ask you: What can I do to ensure that I find a fulfilling career in the future?”

After telling him that I appreciated his enthusiasm, I recommended that he start by reading two books, Do What You Are and What Color is Your Parachute?.

In an instant, a puzzled look washed over his face. He said dejectedly, “Oh, but I don’t like reading. I won’t be able to make it through two books…”

This student wanted to find a fulfilling career that would last him a few decades, but he wasn’t willing to read two books. Somehow, he believed that building a rewarding career shouldn’t take too much effort.

Unfortunately, this mindset is prevalent among students.

Successful students, on the other hand, understand that life is tough, but that overcoming challenges makes life more meaningful. [Read more…]

How To Care Enough To Change The World

Updated on January 30, 2017 By Daniel Wong

A few years ago, I had the privilege of attending a talk by this incredible woman, Marian Wright Edelman.

Children’s rights activist, Marian Wright Edelman

Edelman is the founder and president of the Children’s Defense Fund, and she’s been awarded more than 65 (yes, 65!) honorary degrees. She was also the first black woman to be admitted to the Mississippi bar.

To say that she’s an impressive woman is an understatement!

The way that Edelman concluded her speech was exceptionally memorable.

“I cannot preach like Martin Luther King, Jr. or turn a poetic phrase like Maya Angelou…”

She proceeded to list a large number of distinguished people, and the characteristics they possessed that she did not.

What you can achieve when you care enough

Edelman went on to say:

“But I care and am willing to serve and raise my voice with others for children… I care and am willing to serve and sacrifice to build our children a better future.

“I care. I really, really care. You can change the world if you care enough.”

You can change the world if you care enough.

If that statement is true (I like to think that it is), it’s no surprise that a lot of advice you hear from career development gurus revolves around pursuing a line of work you care deeply about.

It’s entirely true that in today’s Information Age, it’s no longer enough just to be compliant, competent or even charismatic. You need to care.

[Read more…]

A Simple Way to Make Faster and Better Decisions

Updated on January 8, 2020 By Daniel Wong

Recently, I was looking for something to help me stay motivated, so I decided to put up this quote at my work desk. It’s been more effective than I expected!

Of course, the fact that I put up this quote at all means that I occasionally stop when I’m tired, discouraged or bored.

I sometimes lack the willpower to do what I know I ought to. I don’t always make the best possible decision—and I’m guessing I’m not the only one who struggles in this area.

(As an aside, one of my colleagues commented: “Daniel, that quote isn’t completely true. At least once a day, I see you taking a break to have a snack. Obviously, you also stop when you’re hungry!)

What you desire now vs. what you desire most

It’s human nature to focus on the short-term rather than the long-term, to be attracted to pleasure and to avoid pain. When we make choices based on how we feel, we tend to give in to what we desire now, at the expense of what we desire most.