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What Is Educational Coaching? 10 Ways It Can Help Your Teen Today

Updated on August 6, 2024 By Daniel Wong 1 Comment

educational coaching for teensYou might be familiar with the concept of tutoring, but what about educational coaching?

More than a buzzword, educational coaching is a unique approach to empowering teens to make the most of their potential.

It can dramatically improve your teens’ performance and put them on the right track to reach their academic goals and more.

What is coaching in education?

Think about what a sports coach does.

Let’s say that your children join a basketball team. There are numerous skills your kids must learn, like how to dribble, pass, and shoot.

A great basketball coach wouldn’t just teach these individual skills and nothing else — the team would never win any games!

Instead, the best coaches understand the value of a holistic approach, where the players are motivated and self-driven, and understand how they should operate in the context of a team.

The same is true of an educational coach.

Educational coaches don’t just teach students the subjects they’re struggling with or force them to memorise math formulas.

Instead, educational coaches teach students how to learn. They enable students to become self-motivated, focused, and proactive.

As a result, not only will your teens discover the value of education, they’ll also gain the fundamental skills and character traits they need for long-term success.

Let’s take a closer look at educational coaching and how it can benefit your teens today.

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What is educational coaching?

Educational coaching helps students become better learners by motivating them to solve their problems in an encouraging and empowering environment.

Rather than prioritising a particular outcome (e.g. get a good grade in a certain subject), educational coaching focuses on the process of how to become a self-driven and independent learner.

Through this process, students achieve sustainable and lasting success — both inside and outside of the classroom.

What is the difference between coaching and tutoring?

Educational coaching and tutoring might sound similar, but there are key differences between these two approaches.

Let’s take a look at these two models in education, so you can choose the right one for your teen.

Tutoring

tutoring a young student outside

Do your teens struggle with getting good grades in a couple of specific subjects, despite their hard work?

They’re putting in a lot of effort, but they just can’t master quadratic equations.

Or maybe, no matter how hard they study, they can’t seem to do well on their English exams.

In these examples, you might consider engaging a tutor.

A tutor is typically someone who is skilled in a specific subject, like math or English. A tutor would work with your teen to achieve an outcome-related goal, such as passing the next exam.

If your teen has an excellent learning attitude but is struggling with one particular subject, then tutoring might be helpful.

But if your teen lacks focus and intrinsic motivation, then tutoring isn’t going to help.

This is where educational coaching comes in…

Educational coaching

Parents regularly come to me and say things like:

  • “My teen is smart, but he doesn’t work hard and he gets bad grades.”
  • “My teen constantly complains about school. I feel like I’m always nagging her to study!”

If this sounds like the situation you’re in, don’t worry — you’re not alone.

Problems like these are all too common, but there’s good news:

Educational coaching can equip your teens with the mindset and skills they need to succeed in school and beyond.

Unlike tutoring, educational coaching walks your teens through the process of developing intrinsic motivation and cultivating the right learning attitude.

Your teen will learn how to learn, no matter what the subject.

Rather than focusing too much on grades, educational coaching is a collaborative, process-oriented approach that will enable your teen to become more motivated, focused, and disciplined.

Naturally, your teen’s grades will improve too!

How does an educational coach help teens?

The power of educational coaching is that it equips your teens with the skills they need for success long after they graduate from school.

Let’s take a closer look at the top 10 benefits of one-to-one educational coaching for your teen:

1. Cultivate inner motivation and drive in your teen

teen procrastinating their studiesDo your teenagers procrastinate on their homework and assignments?

When they finally sit down to study, do they get easily distracted?

It’s not easy to cultivate long-term motivation and drive — especially when your teen isn’t inspired to complete the task at hand.

Educational coaching helps students to cultivate important traits like:

  • Perseverance
  • Hard work
  • Focus
  • Discipline
  • Confidence

2. Help your teen to understand the importance of education

Do your teenagers struggle to understand why they need to learn history or geography?

Do they complain about having to memorise pointless facts — ones they’re confident they’ll never use in the future?

When we don’t understand why we’re learning something, it’s easy to get frustrated. That’s why process-oriented learning is so vital.

It shifts the focus from the outcome (memorising a set of facts) to the process of learning (finding joy in understanding concepts, developing new skills, mastering the material, etc.).

Educational coaching is a powerful method to instill in your teen the value of lifelong learning.

3. Guide your teen to set meaningful goals that he or she feels inspired to work toward

Some students enjoy planning for the future. Other students get overwhelmed by the thought of doing such planning.

Educational coaching helps your teens to develop short- and long-term goals that are meaningful and inspiring.

Rather than relying on temporary motivation to get things done, your teens will develop a sense of purpose and will set process-based goals they’ll want to work toward.

4. Enable your teen to eliminate negative attitudes and limiting beliefs

students writing essay assignments

Limiting beliefs are false beliefs that stop us from pursuing our goals.

If your teen has a negative attitude toward school, it could be due to a limiting belief. For example, let’s say that your teen keeps getting bad grades on his English essays. He might start to internalise a limiting belief like:

“I’m just a bad writer, so there’s no point trying to improve.”

In reality, your teen might be a decent writer — he just needs to learn how to better structure his essays.

With the right educational coach, your teens will learn how to overcome negative thinking with science-backed techniques, so they can make the most of their potential.

5. Teach your teen responsibility and respect

Do you feel like your teenager doesn’t show you much respect?

Every parent wants to teach their children the value of respect, which will lead to a more harmonious family life.

After all, it’s frustrating to be continually arguing with your children when you just want what’s best for them!

Educational coaching teaches students responsibility and respect by equipping them to invest in their own personal development.

This is done in an empowering environment where the student feels supported, heard, and valued.

When your teenagers feel like they’re in control of their lives and their opinions matter, they’ll become more responsible and respectful, both at school and at home.

6. Build resilience in your teen

It’s not about the goal. It’s about growing to become the person that can accomplish that goal. – Tony Robbins

Academic success is a worthwhile goal to work toward, especially if students want to pursue scholarships or higher education.

But what’s even more important than getting good grades?

The character traits, mindset, and skills your teens will develop along the way to accomplishing their goals.

Resilience is the ability to work through life’s difficulties with determination — and it’s definitely a crucial life skill to develop.

Educational coaching provides students with the guidance and support they need to persevere through challenges, build resilience, and develop a growth mindset.

7. Teach your teen proven techniques to learn information effectively

Homework. Extra-curricular activities. Chores. Social engagements.

It’s hardly any wonder that most teenagers feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day!

Fortunately, getting good grades isn’t about studying more. It’s about studying smarter.

I’ve spent countless hours reading the best articles and research journals to discover how to study more effectively.

These are the tactics I used to get straight A’s throughout my formal education — and the proven techniques I now teach students in my one-to-one educational coaching sessions.

8. Provide step-by-step systems so your teen will prioritise tasks and manage time more effectively

student studying late at nightI know I just said that students today are juggling a myriad of responsibilities.

Your teens might feel overwhelmed by their packed schedule, and I don’t want to downplay how much they have on their plate.

At the same time, I also want to say this:

We all get the same 24 hours in a day. 

Some students know how to effectively manage their time and prioritise tasks, while others lack the step-by-step systems necessary to be as productive as possible.

I slept eight hours a night and still graduated from Duke University with a GPA of 3.98/4.0. I don’t say this to boast, really! I just want to show you that it’s possible to lead a balanced life while doing well in school.

The key is to implement the time management strategies that I share with my clients in my one-to-one educational coaching sessions.

9. Teach your teen test-taking strategies for less stress and better grades

It’s not a secret that tests are a significant part of your teenager’s life.

Yet many hardworking students underperform in exams due to anxiety, careless mistakes, and a lack of test-taking skills.

There are powerful test-taking strategies your teenager can use to start doing better on tests today.

An excellent place to start is my complete guide to taking tests and exams. For additional help, educational coaching is the best approach.

After all, nothing beats personalised support catered to your teenager’s individual needs and challenges.

10. Empower your teen to improve focus and overcome distractions

distracted student in class

We live in an increasingly distracted world.

Statistics on teenagers and social media addiction are worrying, with 57% of teens saying that social media distracts them from homework.

Over time, these statistics will only become more worrying!

Through educational coaching, your teens will:

  • Eliminate distractions
  • Improve focus
  • Create an effective daily plan
  • Stop feeling unmotivated and overwhelmed
  • Pre-commit to the healthy behaviours they want to engage in

Here’s the thing…

Distractions and technology aren’t going anywhere. But with the right support through one-to-one educational coaching, your teenager will develop healthy habits and routines, and become an effective student.

Wondering if educational coaching will work for your teen?

If you’re interested in taking the next step, you can learn more about my one-to-one coaching programme for teens here.

(You can also read about my coaching clients’ success stories here.)

I’d love to personally coach your teenager to become motivated, focused, responsible, and resilient!

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Filed Under: Education, Learning, Motivation, Success, Teens

How to Get Your Children to Set Academic Goals They WANT to Pursue

Updated on September 13, 2024 By Daniel Wong Leave a Comment

academic successAre your children excited about their academic goals?

Do they even know what those academic goals are?

Don’t worry, most parents answer with a resounding “No”.

Motivating your children to do well in school is tricky, and distractions like smartphones and social media don’t make it any easier.

And yet, it is possible to get your children to pursue academic success — no exhausting micromanaging required.

Here’s the thing…

Goals matter, but not all goals are created equal.

It all boils down to setting the right educational goals.

Let’s take a closer look at what it means to set smart academic goals. I’ll also walk you through a proven system to help students set achievable goals and build life-long success habits.

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[Read more…]

Filed Under: Education, Goals, Motivation, Planning, Success

How to Get Good Grades: 10 Useful Strategies for Students

Updated on February 20, 2025 By Daniel Wong 21 Comments

Student equipment - laptop, backpack and notebookAre you struggling with how to get good grades?

Don’t worry — you’re not alone.

I’ve spoken to thousands of students around the world, and many are quick to say:

“I study hard but I still get bad grades.”

Here’s the thing…

Those successful students that you know? They aren’t necessarily any more intelligent than the rest of the class.

They’ve simply developed study strategies that help them perform better in school.

You can get good grades, too. Your academic goals can be achieved by studying more effectively, not by studying “harder”.

In this article, I’ll cover the winning habits I used to be a straight-A student throughout my academic career — no all-nighters required.

Ready to stop stressing about grades and start doing better in school? Then let’s explore the useful strategies that will help you do just that.

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Why is it important to get good grades?

young man looking up to the sky

The first step to doing better in school isn’t cracking open a textbook — it’s understanding why good grades matter.

Now, let me say this…

Your grades do not define your intelligence or self-worth.

Your academic record is only one part of your education, and you can lead a successful life with or without straight A’s.

That being said, there are real benefits to getting good grades.

For example, a solid academic record provides more opportunities for scholarships, higher education, and employment. Academic excellence may be the bridge to your dream career.

More significant, though, are the life-changing skills you’ll gain as you work toward becoming a top student — traits like focus, determination, discipline, and confidence. These values are crucial to achieving any of your goals, inside or outside the classroom.

A good grade is more than just a letter on a page. Achieving academic success after learning how to focus when studying is a rewarding experience that offers long-lasting benefits. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Education, Goals, Learning, Motivation, Success, Time Management

Do Your Children Dislike Studying? Here Are 9 Things You Can Do

Updated on April 7, 2022 By Daniel Wong 9 Comments

Dislike studying

Note from Daniel: This is a guest post by Julia Robson.

All parents want their children to do well in school and in life.

Of course, succeeding in school doesn’t mean that you’ll succeed in life.

But in a society that still places an emphasis on formal educational qualifications, it’s only natural that you want your children to do their best in school.

Unfortunately, some students just don’t like to study.

Our task as parents isn’t to punish them for their lack of interest.

It’s to help them to enjoy the learning process as much as they can, while developing the necessary life skills along the way.

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Before we talk about what you can do if your children dislike studying, let’s first address this question:

Why do so many students dislike studying?

Books

Getting to the root of the problem will enable you to find better solutions.

So before you start applying a remedy, examine your children’s behaviour and talk to them and their teachers to figure out what the real issue is.

Here are some common reasons why students dislike studying… [Read more…]

Filed Under: Children, Education, Learning, Motivation, Parenting, Teens

How to Be a Disciplined Student: 25 Proven Strategies That Work

Updated on July 4, 2022 By Daniel Wong 27 Comments

Disciplined student

Do you find it hard to be disciplined when it comes to studying?

There are so many things competing for your attention.

It’s so much easier to text a friend or watch a video than it is to study. But while doing those things, you’re probably feeling guilty.

You think to yourself, “If only I had more self-control…”

In this article, I have 25 strategies to share to help you be a more disciplined student.

(To learn 5 bonus strategies, download the free PDF below.)

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1. Change your environment.

When you try to study, you may think it’s all about willpower and self-discipline.

Those things are important, but are you aware that your environment matters even more than self-control?

Some environments make it difficult to study. For example, if there’s someone in the next room playing music or talking loudly, it will be hard for you to get to work.

Even studying in your bedroom can be hard if you’re surrounded by distractions.

In contrast, have you noticed how easy it is to study when you go to a library?

In a library, there’s an atmosphere of quiet concentration – everyone is focused on their work. That’s the kind of atmosphere that will help you to be a productive student.

Of course, you don’t necessarily have to go to the library.

You could go to a different room in your house that you use exclusively for studying. If there’s a place like that in your house, it will remind you of your purpose – you’re there to study.

As such, you’ll get a lot more done.

2. Do one small thing every day that you dislike doing.

Of course, willpower is still an important part of being a disciplined student. After all, studying requires effort and focus.

These are things that don’t come naturally to most of us. You may even find yourself resisting the idea of studying.

This is where willpower comes in.

You can build up your willpower through habits. One way to do this is to perform a small task every day that you dislike doing.

For example, you could try…

  • Cleaning your room
  • Making your bed
  • Taking the stairs instead of the elevator
  • Taking a cold or lukewarm shower
  • Reading a book for a few minutes instead of watching videos

When you do one small thing every day that you would prefer not to do, you’ll become more disciplined.

It’s like working out: your willpower “muscle” will get stronger every day. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Attitude, Discipline, Education, Learning, Motivation, Success, Taking action, Time Management

Growth Mindset for Students: 10 Phrases Every Student Should Use

Updated on July 9, 2024 By Daniel Wong 25 Comments

Successful and resilient studentsDoes a growth mindset for students matter?

It definitely does.

The words and phrases you use as you talk to yourself shape the way you feel.

Your self-talk can make you feel discouraged, or it can lift you up.

As a student, it’s important to pay attention to the words you use as you talk to yourself and others about your frustrations and challenges.

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Fixed mindset versus growth mindset

The view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life. – Professor Carol Dweck, mindset researcher

Your thoughts are powerful.

So, what are you telling yourself? What stories about yourself are running on repeat?

Much of our understanding of the power of mindset comes from Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck.

In her research, Dweck discovered that our mindset can determine whether we become the person we want to be, and whether we achieve the goals we most desire.

Dweck outlined two mindsets:

Fixed mindset

Students with a fixed mindset believe their abilities and intelligence are fixed traits; you either have a specific talent or trait, or you don’t.

When you believe your qualities are carved in stone, you feel an urgency to continually prove that you’re worthy of success.

Students with a fixed mindset might say things like “I just can’t do sports” or “I just don’t get math”.

They’re likely to see a bad grade as a failure rather than as an opportunity to learn from their mistakes.

Growth mindset

Students who have a growth mindset believe they can develop their talents and improve over time.

Maybe they’re not a “natural” at everything, but these students know that if they work hard enough, they can and will get better.

When students have a growth mindset, they also have a passion for learning. They know that it’s not the outcome but the journey of becoming a better student and person that matters.

When you cultivate a growth mindset, you build confidence. You don’t fear criticism or rejection, and you learn from your mistakes to continually maximise your potential.

You know that your effort is what’s important. Everything else — your intelligence, abilities, talents, and relationships — you can work to develop.

10 phrases that students with a growth mindset use

Idea

So, you’re ready to adopt a growth mindset.

What should you say to yourself to embrace this mindset?

Here are 10 phrases you can use to become a more successful and resilient student.

Give these phrases a try, then observe how your thoughts and behaviour begin to change. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Education, Happiness, Learning, Motivation, Success, Teens

How to Motivate Your Teenager to Do Better in School: 10 Tips Guaranteed to Work

Updated on May 3, 2025 By Daniel Wong 32 Comments

Motivate your children to do well in school

Do you have trouble motivating your children to study?

It’s a common problem that I see in my coaching work with pre-teens and teens.

I notice that many parents approach this problem in the wrong way.

In this article, I’m going to explain 10 principles for motivating children to do well in school.

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How NOT to motivate your teenager to do better in school

The first five items on the list below might be things you’ve done in the past, but there’s no reason to get down on yourself about them.

They’re simply common parenting habits that are born from good intentions, but ultimately are not effective motivational tools.

You can start today to become a better listener, less controlling, and more accepting. Let’s take a look at what to avoid going forward.

1. Don’t annoy your children

One of the keys to motivating your children to work hard is not to annoy them.

This may seem odd at first, as we’re used to parents getting annoyed with children, not vice versa.

Mother and sonBut relationships are a two-way street, and parents can also annoy children.

If your children are continually upset with you over things you say or do, they will find it hard to listen to you.

You may have some great wisdom to offer them, but your children won’t be receptive to your advice.

Parents often engage in power struggles with their children. For some of us, these are habits we learned from our own childhoods.

But power struggles with your children consume a lot of energy. And that’s energy that could be spent on something more constructive.

Another habit to avoid is making comments that suggest your child isn’t good enough.

This may be something you’re not aware that you do.

It may be very subtle. For example, take the statement: “You’re improving, but I know you can do better.”

On the surface, it sounds like encouragement. But you’re actually telling your child that he or she isn’t good enough.

Or take a statement that begins: “When I was your age…” These kinds of statements usually involve a comparison that leaves your children feeling bad. So avoid making these types of comments.

Another trap that parents fall into is comparing their children with someone else’s. Parents often hope that these comparisons will inspire their children to do better.

Unfortunately, these comments have the opposite effect.

“I hear that John got A’s in all his subjects the last term” may seem like an innocent remark. But it’s a comparison that leaves your child feeling worse about himself or herself.

This is not the way to motivate your children.

Sometimes, parents try to motivate their children by giving them lectures. But lectures tend to make children feel powerless and resentful.

Instead of lecturing your children, discuss the issue with them and ask them what they think. This is much more effective than lecturing them.

Why?

Because it gets them involved, and makes them part of the solution.

2. Don’t use rewards, punishments, or threats

win prizes signAs a parent, it’s tempting to use rewards, punishments or threats to motivate your children to behave in a certain way.

Research has shown this approach doesn’t work in the long term.

There are three reasons in particular that rewards and punishments are to be avoided.

Firstly, rewards and punishments are bad for your relationship with your children.

They teach your children that they’re loved for what they do and not for who they are. Children who grow up unsure that they’re loved for who they are tend to make poor life choices later on.

Secondly, rewards and punishments may get short-term results, but they ignore the underlying issue: Why is your child not motivated?

It’s much better to address the root cause than to use a band-aid approach of rewards and punishments.

Thirdly, rewards and punishments put your children’s focus entirely on outcomes. Your children’s level of motivation is based on the promise of the reward or the threat of the punishment.

Rewards, punishments and threats don’t teach your children how to develop intrinsic motivation. They don’t cultivate in your children a love of learning.

As mentioned earlier in this article, it’s better to focus on the process and not the outcome. This way, your children will develop self-discipline and a sense of responsibility.

So what should you do instead of using rewards and punishments?

Discuss with your children the joy (and benefits) of learning and studying.

Explain to them that most rewarding careers require an investment of time and effort.

But it’s also important to explain to your children that the process itself is rewarding, even though it will involve sacrifices.

Discuss with your children what their hopes and aspirations are.

Help them to dream big and dare to fail – and model for them how you’re doing the same in your own life.

This approach produces the kind of intrinsic motivation and self-discipline that will last a lifetime.

3. Don’t try to control all of their actions

mother and puppet toyIf you want to motivate your children, they need to feel as if they’re in control of their lives.

Being motivated comes from knowing that you can shape your future through the actions you take today.

But if children feel as if their parents are in complete (or almost complete) control, they will have little motivation.

Some parents hover over their children like a helicopter. They micromanage every last detail of their children’s lives.

The result is that the children never develop a sense that they’re responsible for their education and their lives.

By empowering your children, they’ll develop a sense of autonomy and responsibility.

Talk to your children regularly about expectations and consequences.

As a parent, I’m sure you have expectations of your children. For example, you may expect them to keep their room tidy – and there may be consequences for not doing that.

Learning to be responsible in one area (keeping their room tidy) encourages them to be responsible in other areas of life, such as studying.

With this approach, you still need to be involved in your children’s lives. The difference is that instead of hovering and micromanaging, you create boundaries around your involvement.

For example, you can make it clear to your children that you’re available to answer homework-related questions every weeknight between 8 pm and 9 pm.

This way, your children will develop the ability to motivate themselves. They’ll know that they alone are responsible for making sure their homework gets done.

In contrast, consider children whose parents nag them every day to do their homework. Those children won’t develop the ability to motivate themselves.

4. Don’t obsess over the results; emphasise the process instead

The writer Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: “Life is a journey, not a destination.”

This principle applies to study skills and tips as much as it does to life in general.

When motivating your children to do well in school, focus on the process and not the results.

If your children are too focused on results, there’s a danger that when they don’t achieve the results they want, they’ll give up.

What’s more, when we focus only on results, the process becomes a “necessary evil”.

The process becomes something we go through grudgingly because we want a certain result.

But this approach doesn’t encourage a love of learning.

teenage guitaristWe live in an age when learning is a skill that we need to practise throughout our lives. The world is changing faster than ever before. As such, we all need to be continually learning.

And that’s why it’s important to focus on the process, not the results.

Cultivate in your children a love of learning for its own sake, not just as a means to achieve a goal. At the end of the day, achieving goals is a by-product of the systems and processes that we follow.

For example, as a concert pianist, you may have a goal to play Mozart’s Piano Concerto No. 15 in B-flat major without making a single mistake.

The system or process that makes it possible to reach that goal is how often you practise, how you break down and learn difficult cadenzas, and how you incorporate feedback from your music teacher.

When teaching children how to study and how to motivate themselves, it’s vital that you focus on the process and not the outcome.

5. Don’t reduce your child to a problem that needs to be solved

Pre-teens and teens are going through a lot of changes, both physically and mentally.

It’s also a time when they may start displaying problematic behaviours, such as aggression, mood swings, being argumentative, and defying established rules.

As a parent, it’s natural for these kinds of behaviours to become the centre of your attention – they’re problems that you want to solve.

But it’s actually better not to focus on these behaviours.

Instead, try to understand your children’s perspective:

  • How do they feel about the situation?
  • What opinions do they have?

To understand your children better, you’ll need to practise active listening.

Active listening occurs when we give our full attention to what someone is saying.

This means that you aren’t multitasking while your children are talking to you. It means that you aren’t checking your phone or writing a list of things to do.

getting scolded by parentsActive listening means not interrupting your children while they’re talking. It means not judging them or moralising about something they did. It means not offering unsolicited advice.

You can show your children that you’re giving them your full attention by saying things like “go on” and “tell me more”.

Now and again, summarise your understanding of what your children have been saying.

For example, you could say: “It sounds as if there’s a ‘cool’ group of kids in your class, and that you’re feeling excluded by them.”

This indicates to your child that you’re actively listening. It’s also a way of checking that you understand what he or she is saying.

Some parents think that if only they could make their children understand some fundamental principle, the whole problem would disappear.

But often what pre-teens and teens need most is not to understand; they need to feel understood.

When they don’t feel understood, they become defiant.

On the other hand, when they feel understood, it creates a space where they feel safe. And that, in turn, creates an environment where they’re open to looking at the problem in a new light.

How to motivate your teenager to do better in school

Now it’s time to focus on positive behaviour that helps your child feel understood, supported, and encouraged.

Use these strategies to strengthen your connection with your child and teach him or her crucial organisational and planning skills. These healthy habits will help your child in school and beyond.

6. Develop routines and structure

ScheduleRoutines and structure play a crucial role in developing motivation in your children.

Having established routines in family life eliminates a majority of conflicts.

Take homework, for example.

Let’s say you have an established routine that your children do their homework every weeknight between 7 pm and 9 pm.

There won’t be conflicts related to homework, because it’s simply “the way we do things in this family”.

But in a family without routines, ensuring that your children do their homework becomes a daily battle.

Of course, even established routines sometimes need to be reinforced or modified.

For example, now and again you may need to say something like: “When you’ve completed your homework, you can go to Melissa’s house.”

To create a homework routine, it’s a good idea to set up a small part of the house as a study area.

Having a study area that’s free of distractions will help your children develop a homework routine.

It may also help your children if you also devote that period of time to doing your own “homework”. This could be paying bills online, taking an online course, or reading a book to learn about a new topic.

7. Equip your children with planning and organisational skills

As parents, we (hopefully) have planning and organisational skills that we’ve developed over the years.

But we often take these skills for granted, and forget that our children don’t yet have those skills.

Pre-teens and teens can feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and stressed because of the demands they face at school. In response, many of them give up and turn to videos and games as a form of escape.

Some pre-teens and teens might even say they hate school.

But if they have planning and organisational skills, their attitude toward school and academics will be different.

One organisational skill you can teach your children is to break down big tasks into smaller tasks.

Some people call this “chunking down”. This technique makes any task more manageable and doable.

Another skill you can teach your children is list-making. Lists are at the heart of all organisational skills, so this is a great place to start.

You could teach your children how to use a list to pack their bag for a school camp or a school outing.

Planning is another organisational skill that will reduce your children’s stress related to school and exams.

Planning involves placing lists of tasks to be completed within a certain timeframe. This way, your children will learn to complete tasks one by one instead of leaving them until it’s so late that they feel overwhelmed.

For example, if your children have exams coming up, you could teach them how to:

  • Break down their revision material into a series of tasks
  • Use a calendar to plan how they’re going to complete those tasks within a set timeframe

8. Create a family culture where it’s OK to make mistakes

Mistakes are OKWe learn more from our failures than we do from our successes.

Thomas Edison made an extraordinary number of unsuccessful attempts at inventing the electric light bulb.

When a reporter asked him how it felt to fail 1,000 times, Edison replied: “I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.”

Unfortunately, we live in an age that places enormous emphasis on instant success.

Failure isn’t tolerated. Parents correct their children’s homework to improve their grades. They argue with teachers who try to point out areas where their children need to improve.

Yet making mistakes is an essential part of learning.

We must learn from our mistakes and correct them, much like a ship that frequently adjusts its course to stay on the correct bearing.

If you want to motivate your children to study hard and do well in school, one of the best things you can do is create a family culture where it’s OK to make mistakes.

One way to do this is to share with your children your own mistakes and what you learned from them.

For example, maybe you went to university to study one field and ended up switching to a different field when you started work. By sharing that experience with your children, you’re showing them that they don’t have to get it “right” the first time.

If you want to teach your children to love learning, one thing you should avoid at all costs is focusing too much on their failures.

Instead of criticising them for their failures, help them to identify what they’ve learned from their mistakes.

A study by Stanford University has shown that children who are praised for their effort work harder and give up less easily.

On the other hand, children who are afraid of failure are more likely to become discouraged when they make mistakes. Instead of learning from their mistakes and moving on, they’re likely to give up altogether.

9. Show an interest in all aspects of your children’s lives

Parent and teenOne of the keys to motivating your children to do well in school is to show an interest in all aspects of their lives, not just their academics.

If your only concern is how your children are doing in school, they may begin to feel as if they’re being treated as a project instead of as a person.

This can lead to them feeling resentful. And resentment will result in resistance to anything related to studying.

Treat your child as a whole person, not as a project or problem.

Listen to your children when they talk about their interests. Encourage them to get involved in non-school activities, like dance or drama or athletics.

How pre-teens and teens spend their time is crucial to their overall development.

An approach that focuses entirely on studying won’t help your children to develop in a balanced way.

Learning a musical instrument, playing a team sport, and taking an online course on entrepreneurship are all activities that will help your children to develop holistically.

These non-academic activities will give your children a much-needed break from their studies, and will help them to do better as they pursue their long-term academic goals.

10. Help your children to find a mentor

According to research by North Carolina State University, children who have mentors are more likely to become successful.

A mentor is an adult who acts as a role model for your children.

One of the benefits of your children having a mentor is that they will understand a perspective on life from someone who isn’t their parent.

The mentor’s values and attitudes may be similar to yours. It’s much easier to teach values to your children when they’re also modelled by someone outside the family.

One reason for this is that children inevitably become accustomed to their parents’ viewpoints and begin to tune their parents out.

mentorHaving a mentor is a chance for your children to re-engage with those values, from a fresh perspective.

A mentor can be particularly helpful when there’s an ongoing conflict between parents and children.

In this kind of situation, your children can benefit from having a neutral third party they can turn to. The mentor may help your children to see the issues from a new perspective.

So where can you find a mentor for your children?

A mentor could be:

  • A sports coach, art teacher or music teacher
  • A neighbour or family friend
  • One of your co-workers
  • Someone who runs a coaching/mentoring programme (I’m not ashamed to say that I fall into this category of people, because it’s extremely rewarding work)

Conclusion

These ten principles will help you to build in your child a deeper motivation to work hard.

Some of these principles, like establishing routines and structure, may take a while to implement. But other tips and principles you can put into practice right away.

For example, you can start practising active listening today.

I’m confident you’ll start seeing positive results.

(Here’s a link where you can explore more tips on how to motivate a teenager.)

Wishing you all the best on this challenging but meaningful journey!

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