Is Your Smart Kid Getting Bad Grades? 5 Tips for Parents

Updated on August 6, 2024 By Daniel Wong 7 Comments

Dealing with bad grades is frustrating for both you and your children.

You know your kids are intelligent, and you care about their future.

You want them to have academic success now, so they have more opportunities for scholarships, higher education, and employment in the future.

But your well-meaning attempts to motivate your children only result in energy-draining power struggles and strained relationships — not improved performance or the accomplishment of academic goals.

Here’s the problem…

Nagging your kids to study harder is like adding fuel to the fire. It only makes the situation worse.

Fortunately, there’s an easier way to help your child do better in school and become a disciplined student — no annoying arguments or stressful micromanaging required.

In this article, I’ll walk you through how to deal with bad grades and give you valuable tips to improve your child’s motivation today. Let’s dive in.

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Do Your Children Dislike Studying? Here Are 9 Things You Can Do

Updated on April 7, 2022 By Daniel Wong 9 Comments

Note from Daniel: This is a guest post by Julia Robson.

All parents want their children to do well in school and in life.

Of course, succeeding in school doesn’t mean that you’ll succeed in life.

But in a society that still places an emphasis on formal educational qualifications, it’s only natural that you want your children to do their best in school.

Unfortunately, some students just don’t like to study.

Our task as parents isn’t to punish them for their lack of interest.

It’s to help them to enjoy the learning process as much as they can, while developing the necessary life skills along the way.

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Before we talk about what you can do if your children dislike studying, let’s first address this question:

Why do so many students dislike studying?

Getting to the root of the problem will enable you to find better solutions.

So before you start applying a remedy, examine your children’s behaviour and talk to them and their teachers to figure out what the real issue is.

Here are some common reasons why students dislike studying… [Read more…]

7 Ways to Support Your Child’s Mental Health

Updated on September 30, 2024 By Daniel Wong 3 Comments

Note from Daniel: This is a guest post by John Lim.

When I was 2, my sister was born.

I reacted to her birth by hiding in my toy car the whole night and refusing to come out.

Why?

Because I was jealous of all the attention that my sister was getting. I felt sad that no one seemed to care about me.

It doesn’t matter if your child is 2 or 22 – it can sometimes be hard for him to express how he feels.

As a parent, this can be challenging and frustrating for you.

After all, how can you support your child’s mental health if he doesn’t talk about how he feels?

Mental health isn’t just about psychological and emotional problems. It’s also about psychological and emotional well-being.

So in this article, we’ll focus on the positive aspects of your child’s mental health – resilience, optimism, and well-being.

Here are 7 tips that I trust you’ll find useful.

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1. Understand the signs that your child is struggling.

Train yourself to be attuned to your child’s emotional needs.

Every child exhibits different signs when they’re struggling. For example, when I struggled emotionally as a child, I became quiet. I wouldn’t say a word to anyone about my problems.

Over time, my parents noticed that whenever I was quiet, something was probably wrong.

They would then give me the space I needed to work through the problem.

Knowing what signs your child exhibits when she’s going through a hard time is a good way to understand her better.

Here are some of the common signs:

Your child isn’t as talkative as she used to be.
Your child is more withdrawn.
Your child doesn’t want to spend time with her friends.
Your child frequently says that he or she hates school.
Your child isn’t excited by the things that used to bring her joy, e.g. games, sports, music, art, reading, family outings.
Your child’s mood fluctuates. One moment, she might be angry or explosive, then a short while later she might be sad or distressed.
Your child is hyperactive and has trouble focusing on any given task (which are signs of ADHD).

To understand your child better, ask yourself these questions:

When was the last time she struggled psychologically and emotionally?
How did she behave during that period of time?
What did I do that helped the situation?
How did she respond to my help?

2. Spend quality time with your child.

There are no shortcuts. If you want to understand your child, you need to spend time with him.

In Carl Honoré’s In Praise of Slow, he talks about how his life was transformed one night when he was reading bedtime stories to his child.

The title of the book was One-Minute Bedtime Stories.

He realised that in his pursuit of being more productive and getting more done, he had treated time with his child as just another task he had to complete.

Hence the bedtime stories that each took only one minute to read.

Like most parents, you’re probably really busy. But ask yourself this question: “Why am I so busy?”

Yes, you’re busy working hard to provide for your family. But if you can’t spend any quality time with your child, is there a point to your busyness?

I encourage you to organise an outing with your child. Go for a hike or have a meal. Play a board game.

The point is to be intentional about it.

Here are some tips that you might find helpful:

Schedule in regular family meals.

Be serious about having meals together as a family. If you don’t put it in your calendar, it’s probably not going to happen.

Treat family mealtimes as sacred. Don’t let anything get in the way of you being present for these meals.

Set fixed boundaries related to work and family.

Have you ever checked the time at work and thought to yourself: “It’s 6 p.m. already?! I haven’t got enough work done for the day!”

At these moments, you have a choice.

You can carry on with your work, or you can shut down your computer and go home to be with your family.

Being with your family means being physically and emotionally present.

After all, work is infinite – there’s always more work you could do, no matter how much work you do today.

On the other hand, time is finite. If you don’t make time to spend with your children now, before you know it they’ll be all grown up.

Put your phone away.

When I’m out with my family for dinner, I leave my phone at home. That’s because I want to give them the attention they deserve.

You might think that leaving your phone at home sounds extreme. But I encourage you to give it a try – you might just decide that you’ll make it a habit.

And when you’re with your children, put your phone on airplane mode. This way, you won’t get distracted by messages, calls or notifications.

At the end of the day, you need to ask yourself: “How important are my children to me?”

If they’re important to you, make time to build a stronger relationship with them.

3. Be with your child; don’t do for your child.

Your child may be your child.

But she’s also growing up. She’s figuring out how to do things on her own. She’s gaining a sense of independence and autonomy.

If your child is going through a rough time, it might be tempting for you to jump in and fix the problem.

But this won’t be beneficial for your child’s mental health in the long run.

Mental health is like a muscle that’s built over time. Helping your child today won’t always help your child tomorrow.

Instead, let her try to resolve the problem herself. This will help her grow in her ability to bounce back from setbacks.

For example, if your child fails a test, don’t ask the teacher why his grading was so strict.

Instead, ask your child what she learned from the experience, and understand her feelings about the situation. Help her to decide what she can do differently next time.

In general, before taking any action, talk to your child and understand her perspective on the situation. Tell her that you’re there for her.

It’s vital that you show her that you’ll give her all the support she needs.

But it’s even more vital that you stop yourself from fixing the problem for her.

4. Model for your child emotional first aid

When you fall down and get a cut, you put on a bandage.

When you suffer a cut emotionally, do you have the emotional equivalent of a bandage?

Your child suffers emotional cuts when…

He fails an exam he studied hard for.
He gets betrayed by his friends.
He doesn’t make it to the basketball team because he isn’t good enough.
He gets scolded harshly by his teacher in front of the whole class.

Clinical psychologist Guy Winch coined the term “emotional first aid”.

He notes that “whilst every household has a medicine cabinet full of bandages, ointments and pain relievers for treating basic physical maladies, we have no such medicine cabinet for the minor psychological injuries we sustain in daily life”.

You can enable your child to build an emotional first-aid kit to help himself when things go wrong.

You can also teach him strategies for self-care on days when nothing seems to be going his way.

Here are some tips that I recommend:

Encourage your child to talk to someone when he’s going through a tough time.
Ask him to write a letter of love to himself. This letter will celebrate his positive qualities and traits.
Encourage him to draw or sketch something.
If he likes writing, give him a diary so he can record his thoughts and feelings.
Encourage him to spend some time in nature.

More importantly, model emotional first aid for your child.

Over dinner, you might share with him about the hard day you had at work and how you felt.

Don’t just talk about what you did to work through the challenges; talk about how you felt too. This will expand your child’s capacity to empathise and to label his own emotions.

You can also adopt healthy habits like regular exercise, getting enough sleep, reading for leisure, etc. to show your child how you improve your own mental well-being.

5. Share your emotions with your child.

To improve your child’s emotional well-being, she needs to be able to identify the emotions that she feels.

This means it’s crucial that – in your family – you go beyond only saying that you feel bad or okay or good.

Increasing the range of vocabulary your child uses to describe her emotions will enable her to better express her feelings.

How can you help your child to increase her range of emotional vocabulary?

I recommend playing a game called “Feelings Scrabble”.

Here’s how the game works.

First, ask your child to say any word that’s related to an emotion. Ask her to explain what the word means, and to share an example of a time when she felt that way.

For example, she might say, “Sad.” Then, you can ask her to share what “sad” means to her and talk about an incident where she felt sad.

Next, it’s your turn to do the same thing. Try using less common words like “shame”, “amusement”, “desperate”, “horrified”, “disturbed”, etc.

In addition, you can increase your child’s emotional vocabulary by talking about your day and how you felt at various points during the day.

I’m not saying that you should be talking about your feelings all the time. But it’s important to show your child that it’s okay to talk about her feelings, and that sometimes it’s okay to not be okay.

What’s not okay is bottling up everything inside you, pretending that everything is fine.

6. Thank your child.

My mother loves to cook for the family.

When my siblings and I were younger, my mother would often write instructions about what we should do for lunch when we got back from school.

She would write a note and put it on the fridge that said something like this:

There’s fish in the container and there’s rice in the pot. Please heat up the food before eating and wash the dishes after your meal. Thanks for doing the washing and eating.

In hindsight, this sounds strange to me.

I mean… shouldn’t it have been expected that my siblings and I wash the dishes after the meal? Why should my mother have needed to thank us for doing something so basic?

But now I appreciate that my mother did this.

You might feel weird about showing appreciation toward your child. But thanking your child for the things he does shows him that you don’t take these things for granted.

It helps him to build his self-esteem and self-confidence too, so don’t shy away from frequently expressing genuine appreciation.

7. Write a letter to your child.

I didn’t do too well for the A-Levels, a major exam I took when I was 18. In fact, the grades for my four main A-Level subjects spelt BBAD.

To me, those were indeed BAD grades!

I was disappointed because I had always wanted to be a doctor. But with those grades, that dream wasn’t going to be realised.

I stopped talking to my parents for some time because I didn’t know how to answer their questions related to my plans for university.

Then one night, I saw a handwritten letter on my desk.

It was from my dad, who encouraged me not to give up. To keep trying. To know that he would always support me no matter what.

That letter meant the world to me!

Sometimes, it might be hard for you to convey your heartfelt emotions to your child face to face. You can try writing a letter to her instead.

Be honest about your feelings regarding what she’s going through. Empathise with her. Let her know that you’ll always be there for her.

Most importantly, celebrate her admirable qualities – not her achievements, but her qualities.

Let her know how much she means to you. Tell her why she’s unique and special.

Celebrate her for who she is, not who you want her to be.

For example, you might write:

Dear Jane,

[State your observation]

Lately, I’ve noticed that you seem quieter than usual. You’ve been coming home later, and your teacher has also told me that you’ve been skipping classes.

[Share how you feel]

I’m worried for you because I don’t know what might happen to you when you stay out so late. I’m also afraid that you might end up being expelled from school.

[Talk about why you’re writing the letter]

I might not fully understand how you feel. But I want you to know that I’m here for you. I also want to use this opportunity to celebrate your qualities, and to tell you how much I love you.

[Celebrate your child’s qualities]

Jane, I admire how you’re so compassionate. It inspires me to see you volunteering to help people with intellectual disabilities. You’ve helped so many of them to lead richer and more fulfilling lives.

I also admire how sacrificial you are when it comes to how you spend your time and what you’re willing to do for your friends and family.

Your heart of service and love is something that stirs me to lead a life that’s focused on the needs of others.

[End by sharing that you’re there for your child]

I love you deeply. You’re my precious daughter, and you’ve always mattered so much to me. If there’s anything I can do to support you better, please let me know.

Love,
Dad

You might not notice an immediate change in your child after you give her this letter.

That’s okay. Don’t expect things to change right away.

But at least your child knows that you’re there for her, and that your love for her is unconditional.

And, for now, that’s enough.

Conclusion

Supporting your child’s mental health isn’t only about focusing on the “problematic” aspects like anxiety, fear, and depression.

It’s also about fostering positive aspects like resilience, optimism, and well-being.

It’s vital that you remind yourself of this truth, as stated by Robert Moorehead: “Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.”

Your child is a gift. A blessing. Someone who – despite the challenges along the parenting journey – takes your breath away.

Remember those moments when you laughed or cried together?

It’s easy to forget those moments, especially when your child is rebellious, angry, stubborn, or disrespectful. But never lose that sense of wonder.

Be with your child. Listen to him. Connect with him.

After all, to support your child’s mental health, it’s connection that matters most.

So invest the time to build and strengthen that connection today!

John Lim is a social worker in Singapore. He was nominated as the Student Social Worker of the Year while he was studying in England. He loves working with young people to help them understand their emotions better. He writes regularly about mental health issues here.

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30 Ways to Deal With an Entitled Teenager (And Encourage Gratitude Instead)

Updated on September 30, 2024 By Daniel Wong 12 Comments

Note from Daniel: This is a guest post by Veronica Wallace.

Many parents are confused about how to deal with an entitled teenager.

They also fear that their teenager doesn’t appreciate what he or she has.

Entitlement is the opposite of gratitude.

When teenagers feel entitled, they become upset and throw tantrums when they don’t get what they feel they deserve.

But when their lives are filled with gratitude, they express appreciation for the many good things they know they don’t deserve at all.

Here are 30 ways to fight entitlement and develop gratitude in your teenagers.

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How to deal with entitled teenagers

As a parent, there’s a lot you can do to fight entitlement and develop gratitude in your teenagers.

Try some of these strategies with your children and watch their perspectives begin to change.

1. Don’t just make your teens say “please” and “thank you”; explain to them why it’s important to do so sincerely

Many teens say “please” and “thank you” without sincerity.

They say it out of politeness, because their parents have trained them to use these “magic” words.

But warmth and sincerity matter more than politeness.

Encourage your children to say “please” and “thank you”, and explain to them how these words must come from a place of genuine gratitude.

Only when your children mean it each time will they cultivate a spirit of thankfulness.

2. Expect more from your teens

When you don’t expect anything of your children, they’ll expect everything of you.

Continuing to do everything for them is not how to deal with entitled teenagers.

Needing to earn something and being grateful to others for what you’ve earned is key.

Chores and responsibilities are powerful tools that will prevent your children from becoming entitled.

3. Establish boundaries

Creating boundaries is essential so that your teens understand that resources aren’t infinite.

Work with your children to establish boundaries related to spending, responsibilities, electronic devices, etc.

Show your children how you establish boundaries in your own life too.

4. Give your teens privileges that are tied to demonstrated responsibility

As far as possible, tie new privileges to demonstrated responsibility.

This will enable your teens to understand that they’ll reap what they sow.

For example, when your children keep to their curfew timing consistently for one month, their curfew timing could be extended by 15 minutes the following month.

5. Try role-playing with your teens

Teenagers who have not been practising gratitude may have a hard time expressing it when the opportunity presents itself.

To deal with entitled teenagers, help them learn how and when to express gratitude.

Role-playing scenarios in which your children could express gratitude will help them to turn gratitude into a habit.

6. Reduce the abundance in your home

One of my biggest tips for parenting teens and tackling entitlement is to remove abundance at home.

Teens who have less tend to be more grateful for what they have.

That’s why you don’t see many picky eaters around when food is scarce.

Be careful not to spoil your children by giving them whatever they want – a lack of abundance will help them to be grateful for what they have.

Reducing the abundance in your home will mean that you’ll need to make sacrifices too. But these sacrifices will be worth it when you observe your children becoming less entitled.

7. Explain the difference between wants and needs

Your children might want ice cream, but they need to eat balanced meals if they want to grow up healthy.

Help them understand the difference between wants and needs in various areas of life. As time goes by, they’ll be more appreciative whenever they get something they want (but don’t need).

8. Believe that your teens can change

Many parents have already decided that their teens are spoiled and entitled.

So every instance where their children behave in a way that seems mildly entitled confirms this belief.

Over time, these parents give up trying to fight the teenage entitlement mentality.

If you want your children to become more grateful, you must believe that change is possible.

Keep your eyes open to observe any progress that your children are making as you apply the tips in this article.

9. Model the desired behaviour for your teens

Thinking about how to deal with teenage attitude and entitled behaviour includes analysing your own behaviour.

Like it or not, your children will emulate you.

They’ll also be quick to point it out if they think you’re being hypocritical.

So take a good look in the mirror to evaluate the levels of entitlement vs. gratitude in your own life.

How often do you act entitled? How often do you express gratitude? Do you complain a lot?

Change your own behaviour and attitude, and you’ll see a change in your children.

10. Encourage your teens to keep a journal

Journalling is an excellent way to learn about your feelings and cultivate mindfulness.

Encourage your children to journal every day or week about the things they’re grateful for and the life lessons they’re learning.

Of course, if you encourage your children to do this, then you should do it too!

11. Distinguish between owed and given

Teenagers may think that they’re owed everything.

Have conversations with your teens about what they deserve and what they’ve received because of the love and generosity of others.

12. Serve others as a family

Serving others is one of the best ways to deal with entitled teenagers and children.

Be the kind of person who goes out of his or her way to help others out. Encourage your children to do the same.

Talk about why serving others is a crucial part of life, and serve others together as a family.

As Sir Winston Churchill once said, “We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.”

13. Perform random acts of kindness

Do something nice for a family member, a friend, or even a stranger.

Get your teens involved in performing these random acts of kindness too.

It’s impossible for your children to become kinder without also becoming less entitled.

If you’re not used to performing such acts of kindness, it will feel strange at the start. So be sure to begin by taking tiny steps!

14. Talk about money and how much things cost

Teens sometimes think ATMs are magical machines that dispense money.

Providing opportunities to learn about the value of money is essential when dealing with entitled teenagers.

Explain to your children how much various things cost, e.g. groceries, electronic devices, restaurant meals, cars, houses.

Talk to them about the dangers of accumulating credit card debt, and explain to them how you’re being intentional about living within your means.

Teach them to ask the question, “Can I afford it?” But teach them that it’s even more important to ask the question, “Do I need it?”

After all, just because we can afford something doesn’t mean that we need to have it.

15. Create gratitude rituals

When dealing with entitled teenagers, put more opportunities in place to practise gratitude.

For example, once or twice a week before a family meal, you can go around the table and ask every family member to share one thing they’re thankful for.

16. Don’t lecture or nag your teens about gratitude

Instead of lecturing or nagging, have casual family discussions about gratitude whenever relevant situations arise.

Gratitude is a value that must be both taught and “caught” – caught through the day-to-day interactions within the family.

17. Talk about things in the past that you’re grateful for

It’s helpful if you occasionally talk to your children about things in the past that you’re thankful for – even things that seemed bad at the time.

For example, you might be grateful that you didn’t get your initial dream job, because the setback propelled you down an even more meaningful career path.

There are even cancer patients who talk about receiving the “gift” of cancer.

They call it a gift because it taught them to live more intentionally and purposefully.

18. Teach your teens to practise mindfulness

Mindfulness allows your teens to fully experience their own emotions and to become more self-aware.

In turn, this fosters gratitude.

Performing deep breathing exercises and focusing on doing just one activity at a time (e.g. eating a meal alone without doing anything else like using your phone) can help to develop the mindfulness habit.

19. Ask your teens open-ended questions

To better understand how and what your children are feeling, ask them open-ended questions.

This will enable you to have meaningful discussions with them about what gratitude is and how to cultivate it.

20. Develop a family culture of empathy

Building empathy is a great way to deal with entitled teenagers.

Help your children to put themselves in other people’s shoes.

Ask them about why they think other people reacted the way they did in various situations.

The more often they try to empathise with others, the better they’ll understand the feelings of others.

Empathy and compassion are wonderful tools that enable gratitude to flourish.

21. Limit screen time

When teenagers indulge in screen time, their focus is largely on themselves.

During screen time, these are the typical questions that they’re asking themselves:

What fun do I want to have?
Which apps are the most entertaining to me?
What videos do I want to watch?
What should I post on social media?
Which games do I feel like playing?

Of course, screen time isn’t all bad. But you can see how it promotes self-centred thinking.

In contrast, empathy, compassion and gratitude are focused on others.

So it’s important that you have a family discussion about setting limits for screen time for everyone in the family – including you!

If you show that you’re intentional about limiting your own screen time, your children will be more open to having limits on their screen time too.

22. Help your teens to develop a growth mindset

A growth mindset is one that’s focused on the process and on learning from both your successes and failures.

A growth mindset for students is instrumental in developing the right kind of motivation. As your children begin to see every challenge as an opportunity, they’ll become more thankful for the obstacles in their path.

23. Be charitable

Donate to charities and volunteer on a regular basis.

Involve your teens in these activities, so that they’ll be exposed to the many needs that exist in society.

As a result, they’ll become more compassionate and less entitled.

24. Live a life of love

Be a person who is always showing love toward others.

Gratitude is a key component of love, and vice versa. One can’t exist fully without the other.

In practical ways, show love and concern for your family, your friends, and strangers.

The more love your family shows toward others, the more gratitude you and your children will express.

25. Empower your teens to become independent

When your teens are dependent on you for almost everything, they’ll feel entitled to everything they get.

If teens are too dependent on their parents, they feel powerless yet entitled. This is a bad combination.

Let go of the reins bit by bit.

Allow your children to gain confidence as they make more decisions, and take full responsibility for those decisions.

The more problem-solving abilities they develop and the more mature they become, the more they’ll appreciate the resources they have access to.

26. Do things that require more time and effort, and less money

When your teens see you spending money, it can often seem too easy to them.

By tapping a few times on your phone or swiping your credit card at a store – just like that, you’ve made a purchase.

Your children don’t see the hard work that went into earning the money that you’re spending.

This disconnect subconsciously breeds a sense of entitlement in your children.

Entitled teenagers continue to expect rewards even when they’ve only put in minimal effort.

That’s why it’s better to do things that require more time and effort, and less money, whenever possible.

When your children see the effort that goes into organising a camping trip or helping a neighbour move to a new home, they’ll understand the value of hard work.

Over time, as they develop a stronger work ethic, they’ll become more grateful.

After all, have you ever met someone with a strong work ethic and a positive attitude who was also entitled?

27. Find a mentor for your teens

It can sometimes be difficult to discuss issues related to entitlement and gratitude with your teens.

That’s why it’s beneficial for your teens to have a mentor.

Teenagers are far more likely to thrive when they have a mentor or coach.

A mentor can help your children to reflect on their weaknesses and develop a more holistic perspective. This is essential in order for them to mature and grow.

28. Write thank-you notes

Nowadays, it’s rare for people to send handwritten thank-you notes.

Be one of those people who does it. It’s a thoughtful gesture that doesn’t take much time.

Encourage your children to write thank-you notes to their teachers and friends at the end of each semester, or whenever the opportunity arises.

29. Experiment

There are many recommendations listed in this article.

Try out a few of these methods at a time and see which ones work best for you and your family.

The more consistent you are about experimenting with the tips, the greater success you’ll see.

30. Start small

Don’t try to implement all of these tips at once – that would be too overwhelming for both you and your teens.

Start small and be patient. Write down and track exactly which tips you’re implementing each week.

Day by day, you’ll observe positive changes in your children as you develop a family culture of gratitude.

Encouraging gratitude in entitled teens is an ongoing process

Cultivating a spirit of gratitude is a lifelong process.

There are times when all of us could be more grateful and less entitled.

Through the process of teaching your teens about gratitude, you’ll sometimes feel frustrated.

When this happens, remind yourself of how thankful you are to be a parent, to have the daily opportunity to lead and empower your children.

Being a parent is challenging, but it’s also a privilege.

This is a privilege to be grateful for! 🙂

Veronica Wallace is a childhood educator, writer and blogging enthusiast. She loves applying her knowledge of writing to new content pieces.

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6 Proven Ways to Make Your Teenager More Responsible

Updated on January 18, 2024 By Daniel Wong 6 Comments

Note from Daniel: This is a guest post by Alyssa Abel.

All parents want their teens to develop into sensible and responsible adults.

That’s obvious, right?

But while parents want their teens to complete their schoolwork and do their chores, it’s up to them what choices they make.

As teenagers, it’s time they make more of their own decisions, but you can still guide them down the right path.

In this article, we’ll discuss 6 ways to make your teenager more responsible.

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Your teenager will never be perfect

First, it’s important to remember that your teenager will never be perfect.

Your teenager won’t always be the perfect example of a focused, kind and diligent person.

On occasion, they’ll choose to hang out with their friends instead of doing their homework. Or they might forget to follow through on their commitments.

But it’s a journey.

The teen years are a trying time. Your teen may look and act more like an adult than ever before, but they aren’t fully developed yet.

This means that their reasoning and decision-making skills are not entirely formed. As such, they won’t always make the choices that you think they should.

You don’t have to be a perfect parent either. You just need to do your best and improve your parenting skills.

Once you banish the idea of perfection, teaching accountability and responsibility becomes simpler.

Are you ready to dive in?

Let’s learn about the 6 approaches to turn your child into a responsible teen.

1. Develop clear expectations collaboratively

Through the course of our lives, we must meet certain expectations.

If you don’t fulfil your responsibilities in school, you won’t be able to get into the school or profession you want.

If you keep missing deadlines at work, you’ll soon find yourself without a job.

This idea applies to relationships and other aspects of life too.

That’s why it’s essential to ensure that your teenager understands what the expectations are.

What must they do? What specific behaviours should they avoid? What consequences will result if they behave irresponsibly?

Think about what you want from your child. He won’t get everything right the first time, so start small.

A good way to approach expectations is to set rules and boundaries together with your teenager. [Read more…]

Rebellious Teens: 25 Practical Tips to Parent Them Effectively

Updated on September 30, 2024 By Daniel Wong 13 Comments

How do you handle a rebellious teen?

It’s a challenging situation for parents to deal with.

Angry answers to innocent questions, slammed doors, refusing to study – these are behaviours you may be all too familiar with.

Rebellious teens can turn the home into a war zone. So parents come to me feeling as if their teenagers hate them.

Through my work with over 20,000 teens so far, I’ve come across every kind of parent-teen problem you can imagine.

I’ve learned what works and what doesn’t. So, in this article, I’m going to share with you 25 tips for handling rebellious teens more effectively.

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1. Decide exactly which behaviours are unacceptable

There are many behaviours your teenager displays that might annoy you.

You might not like the clothes she wears, or you might not like the mess in his bedroom.

But if you react to every one of these behaviours, your relationship with your teenager will descend into one long argument.

Over time, your teen will come to see you as a parent who can never be pleased.

Not only that, if you are constantly criticising your teenager, she will soon learn to block it out as “background noise”.

And that’s bad, because when you really need to register your disapproval, it won’t count for anything.

So it’s essential to be clear about the difference between behaviours that are annoying and those that are unacceptable.

To put it another way, you need to pick your battles.

Parents will have their own boundaries regarding behaviour that is annoying and behaviour that is unacceptable.

Screaming at you while you’re trying to explain something or calling you an “idiot” to your face might be examples of unacceptable behaviours.

On the other hand, what time they take a shower and what they choose to eat might be examples of behaviours that you choose to ignore. [Read more…]

30 Simple Ways to Set a Good Example for Your Children

Updated on November 29, 2021 By Daniel Wong 4 Comments

As a parent, you know it’s important to lead by example.

As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “What you are speaks so loudly, I can’t hear what you are saying.”

But life can get so busy.

There are chores to do, errands to run, projects to complete, and events to attend.

And of course, there are also children to bring up.

So it’s to be expected that many parents rarely ask themselves, “Am I setting a good example for my children?”

Through my extensive 1-to-1 coaching work with pre-teens and teens, I’ve observed first-hand how much influence parents have on their children – whether good or bad.

So in this article, I’ll share with you 30 simple ways for you to set a good example for your children.

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1. Be vulnerable. Don’t be afraid to tell your children about your failures and shortcomings. Share with them how you’ve learned to be resilient. Explain to them how you overcame the challenges and obstacles you faced. This approach is vital as you think about how to build confidence in your kids.

2. Value relationships over material wealth. I’ve heard it said that we ought to love people and use things. But many people do the opposite: they love things and use people. Show your children that relationships always matter more than things.

3. Embrace challenges. Get outside your comfort zone on a regular basis and confront your fears. Your children will learn from your positive attitude.

4. Be committed to personal development. Always be improving yourself in some way, e.g. knowledge, habits, skills, emotional control. Your children will see how committed you are to leading a better life, day by day.

5. Write cards to your friends. My own mother used to do this often as a way of encouraging her friends. This helped me to see how vital it is to invest in your friendships.

6. Volunteer and do charity work. We all want our children to serve others and contribute to their communities. Let’s set an example by making a difference through some kind of volunteer work.

7. Invite your neighbours over for dinner. By doing this, you’ll show your children the importance of hospitality. You’ll also forge a deeper relationship with your neighbours. [Read more…]

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