Parenting Archives - Page 7 of 7

6 Things Happy and Effective Parents Say “No” To

Updated on May 7, 2020 By Daniel Wong 20 Comments

As a parent, does it sometimes feel like your to-do list is never-ending?

You have so many responsibilities to fulfill, chores to complete, and errands to run.

Through my work, I interact with lots of parents. Sadly, it seems like many parents are overwhelmed by the hustle and bustle of life, and have lost the joy of parenthood.

In this article, I’ll share with you six things to say “no” to as a parent. When you say “no” to these things, I’m confident that you’ll become a happier – and more effective – parent.

Here they are…

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1. Say “no” to perfection

Do you strive for perfection?

Some parents hold on to these ideals – and some even try to achieve them all at once:

They should never lose their temper.
They should always be cheerful.
Their home should be neat and clean all the time.
They should be involved in charity work and in serving the community.
They should have an active social life.
Their children should be well-behaved.
Their children should perform well in school.
Their children should excel in their co-curricular activities.

Don’t get me wrong. We should set goals in the different areas of our lives. And yes, we should develop ourselves physically, mentally and emotionally.

But we must also accept that we’re not perfect.

Let’s be kind to ourselves. Let’s not hold ourselves to unattainable standards. Let’s say “no” to perfection, and instead say “yes” to progress.

2. Say “no” to over-scheduling your children’s lives

[Read more…]

7 Ways to Get Your Children to Do Their Homework (No Nagging Required!)

Updated on May 6, 2021 By Daniel Wong 22 Comments

Getting your children to do their homework is a struggle, isn’t it?

It seems like everything is more important to them than homework.

Online gaming, social media, watching videos, playing sports… the list goes on.

But it doesn’t have to be a struggle.

In this article, I’ll explain 7 powerful ways to get your children to do their homework – no complaining from them and no nagging from you.

FREE E-BOOK: Get your copy of 16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager. The e-book has already been downloaded by many thousands of parents, so don't miss out!

1. Make it clear that it’s their homework, not yours.

Many parents seem to care more about their children’s homework than their children do. As such, the responsibility shifts from the children to the parents.

But this should not be the case.

After all, it’s your children’s homework, not yours.

Help them to understand that their homework is their responsibility. Feel free to provide help or guidance, but you should never do the work for them.

2. Don’t force them to do their homework.

I can almost hear you saying, “But Daniel, if I don’t force my children to do their homework, they won’t do it at all!”

I know where you’re coming from. But if you implement all the tips in this article, I can close to guarantee that your children will do their homework without coercion.

If you threaten or intimidate them, your parent-child relationship will suffer.

And as the saying goes, “Rules without relationship breeds rebellion.”

I’ve worked with more than 15,000 students so far, and I wholeheartedly agree with that saying.

If you impose rules without nurturing the relationship, sooner or later your children will defy you. Power struggles are unhealthy, whether they’re over food, going to school, or homework.

3. Discuss expectations and consequences with them.

[Read more…]

Are You Too Busy? 4 Ways To Slow Down

Updated on May 7, 2020 By Daniel Wong 21 Comments

Too busy

Let me ask you three questions:

Do you often feel like your to-do list is never-ending?
Do you often sacrifice sleep to get things done?
Do you frequently complain about how busy you are?

If you answered “yes” to those questions, you’re busy – probably too busy.

But it doesn’t have to be like this.

The strange reason we ignore the most important things in life

In an era where we’re connected 24/7, the line between work and leisure has become blurred. Even on a Sunday afternoon, you could send that email. You could reply to that text. You could do something “productive.”

But should you?

I face this temptation every time I have a day off. The temptation is even greater because I enjoy my job so much!

And it’s not just me. Through my work with parents – many of whom are busy and stressed out – I know this is a widespread problem.

Author Charles Hummel once observed that the most important things in life are also the most well-mannered. They don’t scream for your attention. They don’t throw a tantrum to force you to take notice.

This explains why we often ignore the things that matter most. They’re just too polite.

In contrast, the urgent things are far less polite. That email from your boss, that phone call, that Facebook message – they’re calling out to you right now. You feel like you can’t ignore it, so you don’t.

That’s how we become busy, by allowing ourselves to be overwhelmed by the urgent.

But there’s a way out. [Read more…]

Raising Resilient Children: A Simple Tip That Works Wonders

Updated on May 7, 2020 By Daniel Wong 4 Comments

resilient children

Every parent has been there before.

You worry that your children won’t be resilient enough to survive in the “real world” when they grow up.

Will they be able to handle disappointments? Will they develop a can-do attitude? Will they overcome their fears?

To prepare your children for the future, you encourage them to work hard. You try to teach them valuable life skills.

But when they meet setbacks, they sometimes falter. Maybe it’s a math test they didn’t do well on. Or a friendship that fell apart. Or a teacher who said something harsh.

They didn’t take it well. They might even have become withdrawn and unmotivated.

So you ask yourself…

How can I help my children to become more resilient?

A simple, effective tip for bringing up resilient children

And the tip is:

Share your challenges and struggles with your children, and explain to them what you’re doing to resolve the situation.

This might sound like a strange approach, but it’s effective.

Here’s why. [Read more…]

7 Phrases That Children Need To Hear From Their Parents

Updated on January 8, 2020 By Daniel Wong 32 Comments

Listening

Are you worried that your children aren’t as motivated and hardworking as they should be?

It’s natural that parents want their children to succeed.

Through my work with students, I’ve realized just how much the parent-child relationship affects the child’s development, both emotionally and mentally.

No surprises there.

The stronger the relationship, the better the chances of the child becoming a well-adjusted, successful adult.

This article lists seven simple phrases that will help you to build that relationship.

The more often you use the phrases – I’m not asking you to repeat them every moment of every day, though! – the more likely it is that your child will grow up feeling safe, secure and self-confident. That’s the foundation of long-term success and happiness.

Here are the seven phrases:

1. “I love you”

This is an obvious but vital one.

Children need to know that you love and accept them unconditionally. You might feel awkward about saying “I love you” to your children, especially if it isn’t part of your family culture. But I encourage you to say it at least once a month. If you say it once a week or once a day, even better.

95% of the teenagers I work with confess to me that they feel as though their parents love them more when they perform well in school or in their other activities.

In extreme cases, these children grow up believing that they’ll never be good enough. This can cause them to be unmotivated, or to exhibit other behavioral problems.

The simple solution?

Say “I love you” to your children. Often.

2. “Go for it!”

Of course, if your children are about to do something dangerous or unethical, you shouldn’t tell them to “go for it.” You should step in. [Read more…]

10 Questions That Successful Parents Ask Themselves

Updated on September 30, 2021 By Daniel Wong

Parenting

Parenting is an awesome responsibility that involves a huge amount of work.

It isn’t easy to be a great parent!

I’ve had the privilege of speaking to and working with thousands of students and parents. Through these interactions, I’ve come to realize that despite their good intentions, parents often do things that confuse, annoy, anger or frustrate their children.

I’ve noticed the many mistakes that parents make in trying to raise happy and successful children.

I’ve also observed what winning parents do differently.

Based on these observations, I’ve come up with a list of 10 questions that all successful parents ask themselves.

(Just to be clear, I’m writing this post from a child and a student’s perspective. Also, to avoid repeatedly writing “he or she,” I’ll assume that the child I refer to is a girl.)

FREE E-BOOK: Get your copy of 16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager. The e-book has already been downloaded by many thousands of parents, so don't miss out!

1. Do I want what’s good for my child or what’s best?

(This point is inspired by this excellent article.)

It’s natural for parents to advise their children to pursue the safe, predictable and practical route.

Parents do this because they don’t want their children to experience uncertainty or discomfort.

This is the good path.

But is it the best path?

In most cases, no. The best path is usually the one that’s full of challenges, obstacles and disappointments.

It might even be full of the “f” word: failure.

Winning parents distinguish between “good” and “best,” and continually encourage their children to choose “best.”