Do you want to have a better relationship with your children?
If so, one of the best things you can do is avoid doing the things that annoy them.
Because if your children are annoyed with you, it’s hard to have a strong parent-child relationship.
And without a strong parent-child relationship, it’s hard to raise happy, responsible, and successful children.
I have worked with thousands of children and teenagers over the years. They’ve told me about the many things their parents unknowingly do that irritate them.
Here’s a list of 15 of those things you should stop doing right away.
Annoying behavior #1: Continually point out your children’s flaws.
It’s easy to point out your children’s flaws:
- “You watch too much TV.”
- “Why are you so lazy?”
- “You need to stop procrastinating.”
- “You should study more.”
- “Why don’t you try to be more organized?”
- “You should pay more attention in class.”
- “You should choose your friends more wisely.”
Criticism must be combined with acknowledgement of good behavior.
You don’t need to go over the top with your praise, but it helps to catch your child doing and being good.
Annoying behavior #2: Treat your children as problems, not people.
Make an effort to speak positively to your children.
Some studies even show that the ideal ratio of positive comments to negative comments is 6:1.
If you talk to your children as if they’re problems you’re trying to fix, they’ll become resentful.
Listen to your children respectfully, demonstrate an interest in their hobbies, and show them common courtesies.
By doing so, you’ll build a better relationship with them.
Annoying behavior #3: Ask your children every day, “Have you completed your homework?”
Yes, it’s important that your children finish their homework on time.
But it’s also important that your children understand that homework isn’t the only thing you care about.
Continually asking “Have you completed your homework?” comes across as nagging.
Rather than nag, establish boundaries to ensure that you and your children are on the same page.
For example, you and your children may decide that as long as they maintain a B average and you don’t receive any complaints from their teachers, you won’t nag them about homework.
This approach allows your children more freedom, with less stress and frustration for both you and them. [Read more…]