Frustrating, isn’t it?
You try your best as a parent.
You love your children unconditionally. You spend time with them. You give them gifts. You provide them with everything they need.
But somehow they don’t seem to appreciate it.
They complain about their lives. And – more annoyingly – they complain about you being a naggy, unreasonable parent.
You wonder to yourself, “Why don’t they appreciate everything I do for them?”
If this describes your situation, I’m here to help.
Having worked with thousands of children and teens, I realize there are many common mistakes that parents don’t even know they’re making.
I’ll explain 12 of these mistakes, which may be causing your child to be unhappy and unmotivated. (Some of them might surprise you as being mistakes!)
1. Making your children the center of the universe.
Does your family’s schedule revolve around your children?
Their homework, their needs, their activities, their music lessons, their enrichment classes . . . the list goes on.
Of course, children have practical needs. But when everything revolves around them, they may become self-centered.
And when they’re constantly thinking about themselves – instead of focusing on the needs of others – they’re more likely to be unhappy.
After all, the people who lead the happiest, most meaningful lives are the ones who concentrate on serving others.
So allow your kids to experience a family environment where others receive as much attention as they do. They’ll benefit from it.
2. Constantly telling your children how special they are.
“You can be anything you want to be.”
“You did a fantastic job!”
“You’re so clever!”
If you say these kinds of things to your children too often, they may develop a sense of entitlement.
They may start thinking to themselves, “I’m special, so I should be able to achieve success even if I don’t try too hard.”
This kind of thinking sets children up for misery down the road, because nothing in life worth achieving ever comes easily.
It’s not wrong to encourage your children – just be sure they don’t end up thinking they’re the greatest thing since sliced bread. [Read more…]