Parenting Archives - Page 6 of 7

12 Parenting Mistakes You Don’t Know You’re Making

Updated on June 24, 2020 By Daniel Wong 2 Comments

Frustrating, isn’t it?

You try your best as a parent.

You love your children unconditionally. You spend time with them. You give them gifts. You provide them with everything they need.

But somehow they don’t seem to appreciate it.

They complain about their lives. And – more annoyingly – they complain about you being a naggy, unreasonable parent.

You wonder to yourself, “Why don’t they appreciate everything I do for them?”

If this describes your situation, I’m here to help.

Having worked with thousands of children and teens, I realize there are many common mistakes that parents don’t even know they’re making.

I’ll explain 12 of these mistakes, which may be causing your child to be unhappy and unmotivated. (Some of them might surprise you as being mistakes!)

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1. Making your children the center of the universe.

Does your family’s schedule revolve around your children?

Their homework, their needs, their activities, their music lessons, their enrichment classes . . . the list goes on.

Of course, children have practical needs. But when everything revolves around them, they may become self-centered.

And when they’re constantly thinking about themselves – instead of focusing on the needs of others – they’re more likely to be unhappy.

After all, the people who lead the happiest, most meaningful lives are the ones who concentrate on serving others.

So allow your kids to experience a family environment where others receive as much attention as they do. They’ll benefit from it.

2. Constantly telling your children how special they are.

“You can be anything you want to be.”

“You did a fantastic job!”

“You’re so clever!”

If you say these kinds of things to your children too often, they may develop a sense of entitlement.

They may start thinking to themselves, “I’m special, so I should be able to achieve success even if I don’t try too hard.”

This kind of thinking sets children up for misery down the road, because nothing in life worth achieving ever comes easily.

It’s not wrong to encourage your children – just be sure they don’t end up thinking they’re the greatest thing since sliced bread. [Read more…]

20 Simple Ways to Get Your Children to Listen to You

Updated on May 6, 2021 By Daniel Wong 4 Comments

Mother and daughter

It’s frustrating, isn’t it?

As a parent, you make countless sacrifices for your children.

You want the best for them, and you want them to become happy and successful.

But they just don’t listen to you.

Sometimes they don’t follow your instructions. Other times, they refuse to take your advice.

Understandably, you feel angry and helpless.

But take heart, because there are simple ways to get your children to listen to you. I’ve spoken to and worked with thousands of pre-teens and teens, so I’ll share with you the 20 best tips I know.

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16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.

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1. Don’t make threats.

It’s tempting to threaten your children, especially when you’re at your wits’ end.

Resist this urge, because making threats will damage your parent-child relationship in the long run. The threats will eventually lose their effectiveness too.

What’s the alternative?

Read the rest of this article to find out.

2. Address your children by name.

Imagine if someone started barking orders at you without addressing you by name.

Would you feel like obeying those orders?

Probably not.

So if you start the conversation by calling your children by their name, they’ll feel respected. As such, they’ll be more likely to listen to what you have to say.

3. Get your children’s attention first.

Before you start giving instructions or suggestions, make sure you have your child’s full attention.

If necessary, walk up to him and put your hand on his shoulder. Establish eye contact, and ensure that he has turned his focus toward you.

Only then should you begin talking. [Read more…]

50 Priceless Gifts Your Children Will Treasure for Life (That Don’t Cost a Cent)

Updated on May 7, 2020 By Daniel Wong 21 Comments

What are the best gifts to give your children?

The latest smartphone? A new laptop? A fun vacation?

There’s nothing wrong with giving children material things. But through my interactions with thousands of students, I realize that the gifts they value most usually don’t cost a cent.

Nevertheless, these gifts will bring them long-lasting joy, fulfillment, and success.

Inspired by this article, I came up with this list of 50 gifts your children will treasure for life, and which don’t cost a cent.

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16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.

The e-book has already been downloaded by

many thousands of parents, so don't miss out!

1. Responsibilities

Through responsibilities, children learn to be responsible. And being responsible is a key factor that leads to enduring success.

2. Contentment

More shoes, more clothes, more money, more electronic devices … It’s easy to feel as if you never have enough. But if children don’t learn to be contented, they’ll never be happy.

3. Vulnerability

Be vulnerable with your children by sharing your challenges and weaknesses – as well as what you’re doing to overcome them. This way, your children will learn that they don’t have to pretend to be perfect.

4. Managing their emotions

Children must learn to deal with emotions like anger, frustration, and disappointment in order to lead a productive life.

5. Letters

My mom has been writing me letters for years, and I’ve kept all of them. In these letters, she shared her hopes, dreams, and concerns with me. Each letter has inspired me to live with a stronger sense of purpose and determination. (I love you, Mom!)

6. Family rituals

Family rituals are great for bonding. Research also shows that they help children to develop socially. These rituals could be as simple as having breakfast as a family every Saturday morning, or having a weekly family meeting. [Read more…]

50 Life Lessons Every Parent Should Teach Their Children

Updated on December 17, 2020 By Daniel Wong 13 Comments

Ever feel like parenting is the toughest job in the world?

Parenting involves plenty of hard work. What’s more, there are no guarantees.

No matter how much you love your children, no matter how much time you spend with them, no matter how “perfect” of a parent you are … you can’t guarantee that your children will become successful and happy.

Nonetheless, there are many valuable life lessons you can impart to your children.

As your children learn these lessons, they’re more likely to grow up to be confident, well-adjusted, contributing members of society.

I’ve come up with this list of 50 life lessons that every parent should teach their children.

It’s taken me my whole life to learn these lessons. So I’m passionate about sharing them with my son (and future children), as well as the students I work with.

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16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.

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1. Success is more about contribution than it is about achievement.

2. Don’t worry too much about what other people think of you. They think about you a lot less than you imagine.

3. Focus on progress, not perfection.

4. Run your own race, not the race that other people expect you to run.

5. You cannot always choose your circumstances, but you can always choose your attitude. [Read more…]

7 Common Mistakes That Damage Your Parent-Child Relationship

Updated on March 24, 2021 By Daniel Wong 6 Comments

Is there tension in your parent-child relationship?

Or is it hard for you to communicate with your child?

If so, don’t be discouraged.

We all try our best as parents, but things aren’t always smooth sailing.

I’ve spoken to and worked with more than 20,000 tweens and teens. I’ve seen first-hand how easily parent-child relationships can be damaged.

Here are seven ways that parents hurt the relationship with their child – so avoid doing these at all costs.

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16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.

The e-book has already been downloaded by

many thousands of parents, so don't miss out!

1. Tell your child that he isn’t living up to his potential.

Parents sometimes say to their underperforming child:

“You’re not maximizing your potential.”
“You’re intelligent, but you’re not making the most of it.”
“You’re wasting your potential.”
“If you worked harder, you would fulfill your potential.”

Do children feel motivated when they hear things like these? Unfortunately, they don’t.

Children share with me that when they’re told they’re not living up to their potential, they’re uninspired to improve.

Why?

Because they feel as if their parents care more about their performance than who they are as a person. They feel as if their parents would consider them more “complete,” if only they achieved more.

This causes resentment, which hinders them from even wanting to change their behavior.

Instead of focusing on your child’s untapped potential, acknowledge his good behavior. For example, if you observe that he’s been more diligent in his school work (even if it’s just a tiny improvement), acknowledge this change. You could say, “I notice you’ve been more focused recently.”

Or if he’s kind toward his younger sibling, compliment him by saying, “That’s thoughtful of you.”

The more attention you pay to your child’s good behavior, the more that behavior will multiply. Gradually, your parent-child relationship will improve too. [Read more…]

How to Raise a Happy, Successful Child: 25 Tips Backed by Science

Updated on November 19, 2022 By Daniel Wong 50 Comments

Every parent wants to raise children who are happy and successful.

But there’s so much parenting advice out there.

Who should you listen to?

And which advice is reliable?

To answer those questions, I read through dozens of scientific articles and research journals.

I’ve compiled this list of 25 scientific ways to bring up confident and well-adjusted children.

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The e-book has already been downloaded by

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1. Become a happier person yourself.

Emotional problems in parents are linked to emotional problems in their children, as explained in Raising Happiness. Not only that, unhappy people are also less effective parents.

Psychologists Carolyn and Philip Cowan have also found that happy parents are more likely to have happy children.

In one study in The Secrets of Happy Families, children were asked: “If you were granted one wish about your parents, what would it be?”

Their answer?

No, it wasn’t that their parents would spend more time with them. Neither was it that their parents would nag at them less, or give them more freedom.

The children’s wish was that their parents were less stressed and tired.

So what can you do to become a happier person? Here’s an article with many practical suggestions. [Read more…]

15 Things Parents Should Stop Saying to Their Children

Updated on May 7, 2020 By Daniel Wong 4 Comments

Do you wish you had a better relationship with your children?

Maybe your children don’t communicate much with you. They spend most of their time in their room, glued to their smartphone or computer.

Maybe they also lack motivation – except when it comes to social media and gaming.

If this describes your children, don’t despair. In this article, I’ll share with you specific ways to improve the situation.

I’ve spoken to and worked with 20,000 pre-teens and teens, and they’ve confessed to me why they behave this way.

Want to know the reason?

It’s because of the way their parents talk to them.

Of course, the parent-child relationship is a two-way street. But if parents stopped saying certain things, children would become more communicative, respectful, and responsible.

So here’s a list of 15 things that parents should stop saying to their children…

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16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.

The e-book has already been downloaded by

many thousands of parents, so don't miss out!

1. “You always …” or “You never …”

Have you ever said any of the following to your children?

“You always wake up late.”
“You always take the easy way out.”
“You always get in trouble at school.”
“You never submit your homework on time.”
“You never do your chores.”
“You never put your clothes in the laundry basket.”

When you use the phrase “You always …” or “You never …” your children will become defensive. The conversation may then turn into an argument.

After all, there probably have been times when your children did wake up on time, submit their homework before the deadline, or put their clothes in the laundry basket.

So try this approach instead.

State objective facts that your children can’t refute. For instance, you could say to your child: “Over the past week, you’ve woken up late three times, by more than 20 minutes each time. This is an issue we need to resolve.”

By citing specific examples, you and your children will have a more fruitful discussion.

2. “You should be ashamed of yourself.”

The aim isn’t to guilt your children into changing their behavior. Rather, the aim is to coach them to make decisions based on the right values and principles.

Instead of saying “You should be ashamed of yourself,” process the situation with your children.

Help them to see what alternatives they could have considered, so that they’ll make the right choice in the future. [Read more…]