Do you want your teenager to become a mature, responsible adult?
I’m sure you do, but there will definitely be roadblocks along the way.
Teenagers are going through many changes, so you’ll need to adjust your parenting style too. Parenthood is a hard job that gets even harder when your child reaches the teenage years.
I know this for a fact, because I’ve spoken to and worked with more than 20,000 teenagers.
Through my work, I’ve come to realize that no two teenagers are the same.
That may be stating the obvious. But, at the same time, there are proven tips that every parent can use to raise a happy, successful, and well-adjusted teenager.
Here are 20 powerful tips I recommend that every parent follow.
1. Pick your battles.
Things like hairstyle and choice of clothes don’t matter much in the long run.
So focus on the things that do matter: responsibilities, values, and character.
It’s better to pick your battles than to turn every disagreement into a shouting match.
2. Decide on rules and boundaries in advance.
I’ve worked with many teenagers who feel that they live under the thumb of their parents.
Teenagers who help to create rules and boundaries are more likely to follow them.
So, whenever possible, involve your teenager in the process of creating rules and setting boundaries. Put these rules down in writing, along with any consequences in the case that your teenager breaks the rules.
3. Address one issue at a time.
It’s important to focus when you’re trying to be productive. The same principle holds true when parenting your teenager.
Teenagers often exhibit more than one problematic behavior at a time.
Address each issue separately, because if you try to tackle all the issues at once, you won’t get anywhere.
4. Use “I” statements instead of “you” statements.
This is a subtle change that can have a major impact on your parent-child relationship.
Here’s an example: Saying “I feel disrespected when you speak to me like that” is far better than saying “You are so rude.”
“I” statements are less accusatory than “you” statements, so your teenager will likely respond better to the former rather than the latter. [Read more…]