Rebellious Teens: 25 Practical Tips to Parent Them Effectively

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 13 Comments

How do you handle a rebellious teen?

It’s a challenging situation for parents to deal with.

Angry answers to innocent questions, slammed doors, refusing to study – these are behaviours you may be all too familiar with.

Rebellious teens can turn the home into a war zone. So parents come to me feeling as if their teenagers hate them.

Through my work with over 20,000 teens so far, I’ve come across every kind of parent-teen problem you can imagine.

I’ve learned what works and what doesn’t. So, in this article, I’m going to share with you 25 tips for handling rebellious teens more effectively.

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1. Decide exactly which behaviours are unacceptable

There are many behaviours your teenager displays that might annoy you.

You might not like the clothes she wears, or you might not like the mess in his bedroom.

But if you react to every one of these behaviours, your relationship with your teenager will descend into one long argument.

Over time, your teen will come to see you as a parent who can never be pleased.

Not only that, if you are constantly criticising your teenager, she will soon learn to block it out as “background noise”.

And that’s bad, because when you really need to register your disapproval, it won’t count for anything.

So it’s essential to be clear about the difference between behaviours that are annoying and those that are unacceptable.

To put it another way, you need to pick your battles.

Parents will have their own boundaries regarding behaviour that is annoying and behaviour that is unacceptable.

Screaming at you while you’re trying to explain something or calling you an “idiot” to your face might be examples of unacceptable behaviours.

On the other hand, what time they take a shower and what they choose to eat might be examples of behaviours that you choose to ignore.

2. Accept the fact that your teen isn’t perfect

Overparenting can take many forms. One common manifestation of overparenting is expecting too much of your teenager.

It’s natural for parents to want the best for their teenagers. After all, we are biologically programmed to protect and care for our children.

But wanting the best for your teenager can easily turn into something negative.

That’s what happens when parents turn their teens into a “project”.

For these parents, their teenager is a “diamond in the rough” that needs to be polished to an ever-higher standard.

High parental aspirations can lead to an obsession with perfection. And that, in turn, can make your teenager feel suffocated.

As a parent, it’s crucial to remember that the teenage years are about letting go. Your teenager is learning to separate himself from you.

He is in the process of launching out into the world, so he longs for independence and autonomy.

As a parent, it’s hard not to be concerned about your teenager’s future. But you must balance that concern with your teenager’s need to become his own person.

3. Focus on just one issue at a time

When parenting teens who display defiant behaviour, focus on one issue at a time.

Your teen may be exhibiting many problematic or risky behaviours. But if you try to deal with all of them at once, it will be difficult to address any one behaviour effectively.

It’s much better to tackle difficult behaviours one at a time, typically starting with smaller issues and then moving on to bigger issues.

This way, the focus will be clear, and you will avoid overwhelming your teen.

4. When having a serious conversation with your teen, try to have it outside the home

Why do I recommend this?

Because your teen probably thinks of your home as a place where you have all the power.

It’s better to have the conversation on neutral ground, such as in a café, a restaurant, or on a park bench.

This way, your teen will be more likely to be open to constructive discussion. She will also be less likely to subconsciously revert to rebellious attitudes.

If possible, have the conversation at a place your teen enjoys going to. This will further improve the chances of having a fruitful discussion.

5. Discuss possible solutions together with your teen

Make sure the conversation is focused on problem-solving, and ensure that your teen is part of the process of finding a solution.

This will create a positive atmosphere where both parties are able to suggest possible solutions to the problem.

Avoid turning the meeting into a one-sided conversation where you set the rules and your teen has to accept your position.

Such one-sided conversations will lead to a confrontation, which won’t help the situation.

6. Ensure that nobody walks away from the discussion feeling like a loser

Ensure that the discussion ends in a win-win (or at least no-lose) situation for both you and your teenager.

Make sure that your teenager doesn’t leave the meeting feeling like they lost, and you won.

The way to do this is to help your teenager feel heard. Allow them to play an active role in reaching the outcomes you both agree upon.

For example, if the issue is how much screen time your teenager should have on weekdays, ask her to suggest a limit.

Or if the issue is that your teenager is not helping with the household chores, ask him what daily tasks he would be willing to do.

When teenagers feel as if they are involved in the discussion, they are more likely to take ownership of the solutions and stick to them.

7. Postpone the conversation if you or your teen starts to become angry

Keep in mind that the purpose of the meeting isn’t to vent frustrations.

When tempers flare, it’s challenging to find solutions that both parties are agreeable to.

So if either you or your teen starts to get angry, it’s best to postpone the conversation to another time.

8. Refrain from casting judgment on your teen

Avoid making judgmental statements about your teen’s choices or behaviour.

In particular, avoid statements that begin with the words: “You always” or “You never”.

These kinds of statements are too general, and will put your teen on the defensive.

If your teen feels that you regard her as a “problem child”, she is likely to continue her problematic behaviour.

This is because teens tend to behave in a way that is consistent with how their parents view them.

Repetitive nagging or criticism will push your teen toward rebellious behaviour.

9. Understand how your teen feels instead of prescribing solutions

As a parent, it’s natural to point out to your teen solutions to their problems.

For example, you might want to say to your daughter: “If you didn’t use your phone so much, you wouldn’t get such bad grades.”

Or you might want to say to your son: “If you kept your room tidy, you wouldn’t keep losing your belongings.”

But your teen will see these “solutions” as criticisms, and will feel irritated as a result.

Instead of pointing out what they are doing wrong, start out by building a better relationship with your teen.

The best way to do that is to listen.

Listen to your teen “actively”. This means listening in a way that your teen will feel respected.

Maintain eye contact, and nod your head once in a while. Use phrases like “Tell me more” to encourage your teen to continue talking.

Once in a while, summarise what you think you hear your teen saying.

These active listening techniques send a message to your teen that he is being heard. Your teen will share more about what he is feeling, so you’ll understand him better.

10. As a family, create a family mission statement

Almost every company has a mission statement. A mission statement guides it as it serves its customers and conducts its business.

Families can benefit from having a mission statement too.

One benefit of having a mission statement is that it lays out a set of shared principles and values. Having a shared sense of purpose bonds parents and children together.

This is especially so if you involve your children in developing the mission statement.

To create a family mission statement, have a family meeting, and ask questions such as:

What is our family’s mission?
What kind of family do we want to be?
Which values are most important to our family?
What kind of relationships do we want to have within our family?
How do we want to treat one another?

For more information about developing a family mission statement, refer to this article.

11. Share your feelings about your teen’s behaviour

One of the reasons your teen is so defiant is that it seems to her that you have all the power, while she has none.

You can restore balance to the relationship by allowing yourself to be vulnerable.

Instead of just telling your teen that his behaviour is not acceptable, tell him how you feel about his behaviour.

For example, you could say: “I feel worried when I see you staying up past midnight on a school night. This is because it’s going to be hard for you to get through school the next day.”

Or you could say: “I feel disrespected when you walk away in the middle of a conversation.”

By sharing your feelings – instead of nagging or criticising your teen – you make yourself vulnerable.

If you deal with teenage attitude this way, your teen will be more understanding and less rebellious.

Contrast this with the kind of parenting that sends this message: “I’m the parent, you’re the child, and you’ll just do as I say.” This approach encourages your teen to become more rebellious.

12. Confirm what you think you hear your teen saying

During the teen years, when your child’s brain is still developing, communicating with her will often not be straightforward.

So it’s a good idea to confirm that you have understood what she is saying.

For example, you might ask your teenage daughter: “Is it okay if I send this photo of you to your grandparents?”

She might reply: “I guess so.”

This doesn’t sound like a definite “yes”, so it would be best to check your understanding of her response.

You could then ask: “Does that mean you’re happy for me to send that photo, or would you rather I choose a different one?”

Using this approach can help to avoid a misunderstanding that later leads to a conflict.

13. When your teen does something you appreciate, let him or her know

As a parent of a teen, it’s easy to become focused on the behaviours that bother you.

The danger of this is that your teen may come to see you as an “unpleasable parent”.

As such, it’s important to show appreciation when your teen does something you’re grateful for.

If your teen helps her younger brother with his homework, you could say: “Thank you for helping Joshua with his homework.”

Or if you see your teenage son taking out the trash, you could say: “I appreciate you helping out with the household chores.”

14. Don’t use sarcasm

Sarcasm might seem funny, but it’s actually a form of aggression. You can see this from the origin of the word.

“Sarcasm” comes from the Greek word “sarkazein”, which means “to tear the flesh off”.

Using sarcasm will damage the relationship between you and your teenager. This is because your teenager will feel wounded and belittled.

If you are in the habit of using sarcasm, make a conscious effort to eliminate the habit altogether.

Using sarcasm frequently will result in a toxic home environment. This will lead to your teenager becoming more rebellious.

15. Set an example for your teen

It’s not reasonable to expect your teen to behave in a particular way if you don’t model that behaviour.

So be careful about how you speak to your teen. As far as possible, speak to him with kindness and respect.

For example, you may feel like saying: “It’s already 10 pm, and tomorrow’s a school day. And you haven’t even started your homework! What’s wrong with you?”

Speaking rudely sends an indirect message to your teen that it’s okay to talk like that when he’s agitated.

A better way to address the issue would be to say: “It’s 10 pm and tomorrow is a school day. Can you please share with me why you haven’t started on your homework yet?”

16. Don’t lecture your teen

When your teen does something she shouldn’t have, it’s tempting to lecture her.

But doing so will tend to make your teen see herself as a “bad kid”. It will also make her turn defensive.

Another problem with lectures is that they are focused on the past. The parent delivering the lecture may bring up a long list of past incidents and wrongdoings.

It’s much more productive to focus on the future and to ask your teen questions that invite him to be part of the solution.

For example, let’s say your teenage son breaks his curfew. Instead of lecturing him about the importance of keeping to his curfew, try to understand why he came home late.

When you understand the situation more clearly, shift the conversation toward solutions to ensure that this won’t happen again.

If you really can’t help but lecture your teen, keep the lectures short – less than 5 minutes. Any longer than 5 minutes and the lecture won’t have any effect on your teen.

17. Try to uncover if there’s anything else going on with your teen

When you’re having problems with a rebellious teen, it’s natural to focus on your teen’s behaviour.

But before dealing with the behaviour, get to the root of the issue.

If you notice a sudden change in your teen’s behaviour, it’s worth considering whether she is getting bullied at school.

Or perhaps the root cause might be an issue related to self-esteem, body image or anxiety.

Take the time to listen to your teen and build the relationship, so that she’ll be more willing to share her problems with you.

Your teen’s behaviour will only improve when you address the underlying issue.

18. Get professional help

If the situation doesn’t improve, seek professional help.

There’s no shame in asking for assistance.

If you break your foot, you won’t hesitate to get help from a doctor. Likewise, if the situation with your teenager is broken, don’t hesitate to get professional help.

For example, I offer this 1-to-1 coaching programme for teenagers, where I enable them to become motivated, focused and responsible.

19. Give your teen some space

Family life can be intense, so there are times when we all need to decompress.

In particular, teens need physical and emotional space to unwind.

The reason for this is that as they transition into adulthood, they desire more independence and autonomy.

As they wrestle with this transition, they need space to think and reflect.

So if your teen asks for space, try to oblige him as much as is feasible.

20. Don’t punish your teen harshly

When dealing with rebellious teens, never mete out harsh punishments. Avoid any form of physical or emotional abuse, e.g. withholding basic necessities such as food, slapping your teen.

I know parents who have gone so far as to threaten their teen with a knife in an attempt to change his behaviour!

Harsh punishments will only make him more withdrawn and defiant.

Keep in mind that your relationship with your teen is fragile. Once it is damaged, it can be hard to repair.

21. Do something enjoyable with your teen

So much of family life is taken up with routine activities. Often, it doesn’t occur to parents to do something enjoyable with their teens.

Once a month or so, go somewhere with your teen and do something enjoyable together.

It could be going to the park, fishing, or watching a movie.

Doing this is about building the relationship with your teen. So it’s vital that during this activity you don’t nag, criticise, or lecture your teen.

22. Never set rules without explaining the logic behind them

When you create rules within your family, always explain to your children the rationale behind the rules. This applies especially to teenagers.

Your teenager is more likely to accept your rules if she knows the reasons behind them.

If your teenager asks about the reason behind one of your rules, never say “Because I said so” or “My house, my rules”.

Statements like these will leave your teenager feeling frustrated. As a result, he’ll become more defiant.

When you create rules, do your best to involve your teenager in making the new rules.

For example, you could say to your teenage son: “I think we need to talk about how late you can stay out at parties. What seems like a reasonable time to you?”

Having such a discussion is itself an excellent relationship-building exercise.

It will make your teenager feel that his views are being heard.

23. Do something nice for your teen

A nice gesture, however small, can go a long way in building the relationship with your teen.

If you’re going through a rough patch with your teen, you may not feel like doing this.

But remember that love is intentional. You don’t have to feel like showing love in order to act in a loving way.

Here are some examples of nice gestures that will help to build the relationship between you and your teen:

Write her a note to wish her all the best for a test
Put a small packet of his favourite snack on his table
Buy a copy of a magazine she likes
Buy him a gift card
Offer to make her a sandwich

A gesture like this is particularly powerful when it’s not a reward for “good” behaviour. This is because your teen will realise you did it just because you love him.

24. Realise that your teen is rebelling because he or she probably feels powerless

As a parent, it’s often hard to remember what the world looks like through the eyes of your teen.

In your teen’s eyes, you have all the power, and they have very little.

I’ve worked with thousands of pre-teens and teens. This is something I see over and over again – many of them feel powerless.

In nearly every aspect of their lives, they feel as if someone else has the power.

This takes the form of:

Authority figures forcing them to go to school (even if they hate going to school) and do their homework
Boundaries related to phone usage and how much mobile data they can use
Rules about how much TV they can watch, what time they need to be home by, etc.

Of course, boundaries are necessary. But it’s also important to give your teen a sense of control and autonomy.

After all, you can’t control every choice your teen makes. Neither can you control every aspect of your teen’s behaviour.

However, if you empower them to make decisions for themselves, you’ll motivate your teens to try harder.

25. Don’t expect the situation to improve overnight

Don’t expect a sudden improvement in your teenager’s behaviour.

Even if you apply all of the tips in this article, it will still take time to see results.

Your teenager didn’t become defiant overnight. It was probably a process that took months, or even years.

In a similar way, helping your teenager to become less defiant is also a process that will take time.

Conclusion

The tips in this article are all ways of helping your teenager to become more respectful and responsible.

(To learn 5 bonus tips, download the free PDF below.)

Of course, it would be impossible to implement all the tips at once.

Put two or three of the tips into practice and monitor your teenager’s progress. As the weeks go by, apply more tips gradually.

Over time, your teenager will become less rebellious. Your home will also become a more peaceful and harmonious place!

Like this article? Please share it with your friends.

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Growth Mindset for Students: 10 Phrases Every Student Should Use

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 25 Comments

Does a growth mindset for students matter?

It definitely does.

The words and phrases you use as you talk to yourself shape the way you feel.

Your self-talk can make you feel discouraged, or it can lift you up.

As a student, it’s important to pay attention to the words you use as you talk to yourself and others about your frustrations and challenges.

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Fixed mindset versus growth mindset

The view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life. – Professor Carol Dweck, mindset researcher

Your thoughts are powerful.

So, what are you telling yourself? What stories about yourself are running on repeat?

Much of our understanding of the power of mindset comes from Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck.

In her research, Dweck discovered that our mindset can determine whether we become the person we want to be, and whether we achieve the goals we most desire.

Dweck outlined two mindsets:

Fixed mindset

Students with a fixed mindset believe their abilities and intelligence are fixed traits; you either have a specific talent or trait, or you don’t.

When you believe your qualities are carved in stone, you feel an urgency to continually prove that you’re worthy of success.

Students with a fixed mindset might say things like “I just can’t do sports” or “I just don’t get math”.

They’re likely to see a bad grade as a failure rather than as an opportunity to learn from their mistakes.

Growth mindset

Students who have a growth mindset believe they can develop their talents and improve over time.

Maybe they’re not a “natural” at everything, but these students know that if they work hard enough, they can and will get better.

When students have a growth mindset, they also have a passion for learning. They know that it’s not the outcome but the journey of becoming a better student and person that matters.

When you cultivate a growth mindset, you build confidence. You don’t fear criticism or rejection, and you learn from your mistakes to continually maximise your potential.

You know that your effort is what’s important. Everything else — your intelligence, abilities, talents, and relationships — you can work to develop.

10 phrases that students with a growth mindset use

So, you’re ready to adopt a growth mindset.

What should you say to yourself to embrace this mindset?

Here are 10 phrases you can use to become a more successful and resilient student.

Give these phrases a try, then observe how your thoughts and behaviour begin to change.

1. “I get to” (don’t say “I have to”)

Instead of saying “I have to”, say “I get to”.

The words “I have to” create a feeling of annoyance. The task at hand will become a burden that you can’t escape from.

But if you say “I get to”, you’ll create a feeling of opportunity and gratitude. The task will seem like a privilege instead of a chore.

For example, don’t say to your parents that you have to take part in the school play. Instead, try saying: “I get to participate in the play and see if acting is something I enjoy.”

Notice the difference? Now, it’s not a burden; it’s an opportunity.

Here’s another example.

Instead of thinking to yourself, “I have to go to school”, try saying to yourself, “I get to go to school”.

You’ll instantly feel happier! You’ll also feel more motivated to go to school and to study.

You’ll also remember that millions of children and teenagers around the world want to go to school, but don’t have the opportunity to.

2. “I’ll figure it out” (don’t say “I can’t do it”)

There are very few things in life that you simply cannot do. You may need some help, or you may need more information.

Almost always, there’s a solution.

But when you say “I can’t do it”, it stops you from finding the solution.

So say “I’ll figure it out” instead, and you’ll see how this growth mindset for students makes you more successful and resilient!

3. “I learned something” (don’t say “I made a mistake”)

Mistakes are valuable lessons in disguise.

The more open you are to making mistakes, the faster you’ll learn.

But to do that, you have to start seeing mistakes as opportunities to learn.

Here’s a real-life example of someone with this attitude.

Thomas Edison famously made 10,000 failed attempts at inventing the light bulb before he succeeded.

When a reporter asked him how it felt to fail 10,000 times, Edison replied, “I didn’t fail 10,000 times. I didn’t even fail one time. I succeeded in proving that those 10,000 ways will not work.”

Mistakes are a vital part of the learning process. So, when you make a mistake, say to yourself: “I learned something.”

4. “I’m working on this” (don’t say “I’m bad at this”)

When you say “I’m bad at this”, you send a message to your brain that this is just the way you are. You’re telling yourself that it’s a permanent trait that you can’t change.

But this isn’t true.

The more you practise anything, the better you’ll get.

Look at anyone who’s good at a particular skill. For example, a ballerina, a guitarist, or an award-winning writer.

Those people are outstanding at what they do because they’ve put in thousands of hours of practice — they understand the importance of developing a growth mindset.

When you tell yourself “I’m working on it”, you’re reminding yourself that learning is a process that takes effort.

You’re also reminding yourself that if you keep at it, you’re sure to make progress.

5. “This will take some time” (don’t say “I’m not smart enough”)

As a student, you’ll come across something you don’t understand every day.

It might be a math equation, or it might be a word you don’t know the meaning of.

When you don’t understand something, it’s natural to think: “This is too hard — I’m not smart enough.”

Instead, try saying to yourself: “This is complicated — it will take some time to understand it.”

Let’s face it … some subjects are complicated and require you to study smarter.

But that doesn’t mean you’ll never master a certain topic. It just means that you need more time.

Keep persevering and the pieces of the puzzle will fall into place. Over time, you’ll become a better and more resilient student.

6. “I don’t” (don’t say “I can’t”)

A big part of being a successful student is learning to say no to temptations.

The first thing is to accept that temptations will arise.

The temptation to watch videos instead of studying. Or the temptation to stay up late, when you know you should go to bed.

What’s important is how you deal with such temptations.

Research has shown that the way we talk to ourselves plays a big role in how we deal with temptations.

For example, you might say to yourself: “I can’t watch TV because I haven’t finished my homework.”

This kind of self-talk tends to increase the level of temptation because it focuses your attention on something you can’t do (watch TV).

Instead, try saying to yourself: “I don’t watch TV until I’ve finished my homework.”

Do you notice the difference?

Instead of feeling restricted, the second statement makes you feel powerful and in control. The temptation has suddenly shrunk in size.

Why?

Because now you have the power, not the temptation. So start developing the habit of saying “I don’t” instead of “I can’t”!

7. “I will” (don’t say “I should”)

Instead of saying that you should do something, try saying that you will do it. This is a hallmark of a growth mindset for students.

One problem with saying “I should” is that it can easily turn into wishful thinking. You aren’t making a commitment to take positive action.

That’s why it’s better to replace “should” statements with “will” statements.

Instead of saying “I should exercise more often”, try saying “I will exercise more often”.
Instead of saying “I should manage my time better”, try saying “I will manage my time better”.
Instead of saying “I should pay attention in class”, try saying “I will pay attention in class”.

“Will” statements empower you to make a change. On the other hand, “should” statements trap you in a state of inaction.

8. “How can I keep improving?” (don’t say “I’m already good at this”)

When you think about your performance in different subjects or activities, you might be tempted to say, “I’m already good at this.”

But it’s better to say to yourself, “How can I keep improving?”

Let’s say you’re one of the best writers in your class. If you tell yourself that you’re already a good writer, so you don’t need to practise more, then you won’t maximise your potential.

But if you focus on improving, then you’ll become an even better writer.

The process is what counts, and there’s always room for improvement.

It’s by understanding this principle that world-class performers become the best in their field.

9. “I’ll find out” (don’t say “I don’t know”)

When you don’t know the answer to something, instead of saying “I don’t know”, try saying “I’ll find out”.

With the Internet, there’s never been another time in human history when it’s been so easy to gain access to knowledge. (Take this article on the importance of a growth mindset for students as an example!)

If you adopt this “I’ll find out” mindset, you’ll enlarge the horizons of your knowledge.

But if you say “I don’t know”, you’ll close the door to expanding your mind.

10. “This is a challenging opportunity” (don’t say “This is a problem”)

In your life as a student, you’ll face problems that seem insurmountable.

Imagine that you’ve prepared a speech to give to your class. At the last minute, you realise that you’ve lost your notes.

You’ll be delivering the speech in three minutes.

What will you do?

Instead of seeing the situation as a problem, look at it as a challenging opportunity.

Because you don’t have your notes, you’ll speak more spontaneously. You’ll also make more eye contact with your audience.

Your teacher might even congratulate you on giving a fantastic speech! And it’s all because you turned a problem into a challenging opportunity.

Language is powerful

Here’s a table that sums up the key points of this article on the value of a growth mindset for students:

Student life is full of challenges.

The words you use when you talk about these challenges affect the way you deal with them.

Language is powerful because it shapes the way we think. In our self-talk, we all have a tendency to use words that limit our ability to deal with challenges.

The next time you face a challenge, change the words you use to talk about it. Use the positive phrases listed in this article and observe the difference it makes.

You’ll gain a sense of power and develop a success mindset, one phrase at a time. You’ll become a better student who’s more resilient too.

I encourage you to get started today!

(If you haven’t already done so, make sure to download your free quick action guide below.)

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30 Simple Ways to Set a Good Example for Your Children

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 4 Comments

As a parent, you know it’s important to lead by example.

As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “What you are speaks so loudly, I can’t hear what you are saying.”

But life can get so busy.

There are chores to do, errands to run, projects to complete, and events to attend.

And of course, there are also children to bring up.

So it’s to be expected that many parents rarely ask themselves, “Am I setting a good example for my children?”

Through my extensive 1-to-1 coaching work with pre-teens and teens, I’ve observed first-hand how much influence parents have on their children – whether good or bad.

So in this article, I’ll share with you 30 simple ways for you to set a good example for your children.

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1. Be vulnerable. Don’t be afraid to tell your children about your failures and shortcomings. Share with them how you’ve learned to be resilient. Explain to them how you overcame the challenges and obstacles you faced. This approach is vital as you think about how to build confidence in your kids.

2. Value relationships over material wealth. I’ve heard it said that we ought to love people and use things. But many people do the opposite: they love things and use people. Show your children that relationships always matter more than things.

3. Embrace challenges. Get outside your comfort zone on a regular basis and confront your fears. Your children will learn from your positive attitude.

4. Be committed to personal development. Always be improving yourself in some way, e.g. knowledge, habits, skills, emotional control. Your children will see how committed you are to leading a better life, day by day.

5. Write cards to your friends. My own mother used to do this often as a way of encouraging her friends. This helped me to see how vital it is to invest in your friendships.

6. Volunteer and do charity work. We all want our children to serve others and contribute to their communities. Let’s set an example by making a difference through some kind of volunteer work.

7. Invite your neighbours over for dinner. By doing this, you’ll show your children the importance of hospitality. You’ll also forge a deeper relationship with your neighbours.

8. Take care of your health. I’m sure you want your children to be healthy and strong, so lead by example in this area. Exercise regularly, eat well, and get 8 hours of sleep every night. Not only will you be healthier, but you’ll also have more energy to be a great parent!

9. Focus on health rather than appearance. Many parents I know often complain about their “fat thighs” and “flabby arms”. This sends the message to their children that appearance is what matters, when health and healthy habits are what actually count.

10. Compliment others sincerely. By paying someone a sincere compliment, you might make his or her day. Start by saying positive things to your children and other members of the family.

11. Manage your emotions. When faced with frustrating or worrying situations, use various techniques to stay calm. Your children will learn from you how essential it is to stay in control of their emotions and not take things out on others.

12. Listen attentively. If someone is speaking to you, put away your phone or any other distractions and listen attentively. This is one way to show respect toward others. And, in turn, get your kids to respect you by listening to you when you speak.

13. Don’t be too concerned about what others think of you. As Ann Landers once said, “At age 20, we worry about what everyone thinks of us. At age 40, we don’t care what anyone thinks of us. At age 60, we realise that nobody has been thinking of us at all.” We should be more concerned about living a purpose- and values-driven life, instead of worrying about gaining the approval of others.

14. Ask to hear the opinions of others. Instead of just caring about what you think, seek out the opinions of others. This will widen your own perspective.

15. Become an organised person (if you aren’t already one). Write things down, use a calendar, and always have a plan. Your children will see your example and become committed to developing organisational skills too. I’ve observed that organised people tend to be far less stressed!

16. Forgive yourself and forgive others. If you’re living with shame or regret, now is the time to forgive yourself. And if you’re holding on to grudges because of what others have done to you, now is the time to forgive them.

17. Be generous with your time and money. Show your children that resources are meant to be given and shared for the benefit of others. The more we give, the more we live.

18. Be grateful. If you find yourself complaining often, decide that from today onwards you’ll cultivate a spirit of gratitude. Over time, your children will become more thankful too!

19. Don’t say negative things about yourself. I know parents who say many negative things about themselves, e.g. “I’m too uneducated to be successful”, “I’m impatient”, “I have a bad temper”. Focus more on opportunities and possibilities instead of your limitations.

20. Follow the rules and obey the law. Do this even if there’s no chance of you being caught for any wrongdoing. By displaying integrity, your children will learn to do the right thing, even if no one is looking.

21. Be dependable. Few people do what they say they’ll do 100% of the time. Become one of those people, and demonstrate to your children how crucial it is to be a trustworthy person. I’ve observed that the more dependable you are, the more likely it is that you’ll be successful.

22. Apologise when you’ve made a mistake. My coaching clients (the majority of whom are pre-teens and teens) frequently tell me that they don’t respect their parents. This is because their parents don’t apologise, even when it’s clear that they’ve made a mistake. Don’t be one of these parents!

23. Celebrate the successes of others. Acknowledge and celebrate the successes that others achieve. This way, your children will understand why they should never be a sore loser.

24. Find meaning in your work. All work (except work that is illegal or unethical) is meaningful. Work isn’t something we have to do; it’s something we get to do in the service of others, while also earning a living. Demonstrate to your children that with the right attitude, work can be enjoyable and fun!

25. Ask for help if you need it. We all come to a place where we need help. If you need assistance or guidance, don’t hesitate to reach out. As the African proverb goes, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”

26. Live within your means. Don’t get so caught up in the pursuit of material gain that you buy things you can’t afford. Living beyond your means will lead to a life of stress and possible ruin.

27. Buy what you need, not what you want. As a follow-up to Point #26, practise asking yourself the question “Do I need this?” instead of the question “Can I afford this?” You might be able to afford something, but if you don’t need it, then you probably shouldn’t buy it.

28. Read for leisure. If you don’t read for leisure, your children are unlikely to read for leisure. Once in a while, share with your children the interesting things you’re learning through the books you’re reading. Your children may become more motivated to work hard in school too!

29. Make an effort to mend broken relationships. As Dr. Scott Sticksel once said, “Life is relationships. The rest is just details.” If your life is full of broken relationships, it’s almost impossible for you to find joy and fulfilment. So if there are broken relationships in your life, take the first step toward resolving the conflict.

30. Be excited and passionate about life. One of my coaching clients recently said to me, “My parents don’t seem excited about anything in life, except eating good food.” This client of mine was troubled by this fact, and he wondered if his life would turn out to be as “sad” as his parents’ lives. I’m not here to judge anyone, but if you want to set a good example for your children, then choose to be passionate about life. Learn a new skill. Show kindness to others. Start a new project. Conquer a fear. Contribute to your community. Get outside your comfort zone. Take just one small step today!

Conclusion

At this point, you might be thinking, “You mean I’m supposed to do all these 30 things to set a good example for my children? I’m not perfect, you know?!”

Of course, you’re not perfect. Neither am I.

But we can always strive to improve, to become better people and better parents who have better parenting skills.

So I encourage you to identify just one or two items from the list that you’d like to work on. Make one small change this week, or even this month.

As John C. Maxwell said, “People may teach what they know, but they reproduce what they are.”

This principle applies to parenting too. As parents, we reproduce in our children the traits we possess.

As such, if we want to raise exemplary children, we need to lead exemplary lives ourselves.

This is a lifelong journey that we get to embark on. So let’s embrace the challenges along the way with hope and excitement!

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22 Study Habits That Guarantee Good Grades

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 18 Comments

Were you hoping to get an A for your last test or exam, but your study habits got in the way?

Maybe you got a B, or maybe you did worse than that.

It’s annoying, isn’t it…

You put in all those hours of studying. You even gave up time with your friends.

So what if I could show you a way to work smarter and not harder, so you get good grades and have time for the things you enjoy and find meaningful?

Even better, what if I could guarantee it?

Well, I can.

All you have to do is adopt these 22 study habits.

(Throughout my career as a student I got straight A’s, so I can promise you that these study habits work.)

Want to get the grades you’ve always wanted while also leading a balanced life?

Then let’s get started.

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The best study habits

Add these effective study habits to your routine to start getting good grades with a lot less stress.

Habit #1: Create a weekly schedule

When you schedule time for a particular task like studying, you’re saying to yourself, “I’m going to focus on studying at this time, on this date, and it’s going to take this number of hours.”

Once it’s down in writing, it becomes a reality and you’re more likely to stick to it.

This might sound weird, but it’s true.

Do this in your calendar, in a spreadsheet, or download a template – whatever works best for you.

First, think about your fixed commitments like school, sports practice, family time, religious activities and so on.

Now, decide which times around these fixed commitments are the best for you to do your work and revision each week.

Don’t worry about exactly what work you’ll be doing, or what assignments are due. Just focus on blocking out the times.

Your weekly study schedule might look something like this (the blue slots are the times you’ve blocked out to do work):

Give yourself a study-free day (or at least half a day) once a week.

Everyone needs a break, so you’re more likely to come back to the work refreshed if you give yourself permission to take some time off.

Habit #2: Create a pre-studying checklist

Have you ever heard your mother say you should never go to the supermarket without a shopping list?

You’ll wander up and down the aisles, wasting time. You’ll make poor choices about what to buy and end up with all the wrong things for dinner.

By using a shopping list, your mind will be focused. You’ll only put items in your shopping trolley that you need, checking them off as you go.

It’s no different from a checklist used by a pilot before he takes off, or a mechanic as he services a car.

Checklists are essential as you learn how to develop good study habits. They ensure that you cover all the necessary steps to achieve an outcome.

Here are some of the things that might be on your pre-studying checklist:

Set up workspace
Make sure your phone is in another room or turned off
Let family members know not to disturb you until the end of the study session
Gather together all the notes and reference books needed
Get a glass of water
Set timer

Keep your checklist handy, and tick everything off at the start of every study session.

Habit #3: Create a study plan

The purpose of a study plan is similar to that of a checklist. It keeps you on track.

When you go camping, you might have a checklist that covers all the equipment you need to pack into the car.

But you also need a road map to show you how to get to the campsite. It allows you to plan your route, and keeps you focused on your destination.

So, at the start of each study session, create a study plan.

For example, today you might need to complete a math assignment and write up the summary notes of chapter 4 of your history textbook.

Write down the key tasks, together with a list of steps you’ll need to take along the way.

To complete your math assignment, you might write:

Read notes from math class
Read chapter in the textbook on algebraic calculations
Do questions 1 to 3

Your study plan will help you concentrate on what you need to get done today, without being distracted by the things that can wait until tomorrow.

Habit #4: Study offline as much as possible

When you study, you want to be focused, which means limiting all those annoying interruptions that happen when you’re online.

Switch off your Internet connection and give your brain the peace and quiet it needs to concentrate.

And while you’re at it, try not to use a laptop to take notes.

This may sound like strange advice, but research has shown that taking notes by hand is a much smarter way of learning.

When you write notes by hand, your brain absorbs the meaning of what you’re writing. But when you use a laptop, you’re not processing what you’re learning as deeply.

Habit #5: Take three deep breaths before each study session

What’s the one thing that comes to you so naturally, you don’t even think about it?

Breathing.

We each take about 20,000 breaths a day, so you’d think we’d be pretty good at it. But did you know that there are better ways to breathe than others?

And guess who breathes the best? Babies.

As babies, we all take deep, relaxing breaths. These breaths push the oxygen around our bodies and into our brains, helping us to concentrate better.

But as we get older, we take shorter, faster breaths. As a result, we have trouble staying alert.

There are plenty of ways to breathe more deeply, but here’s one method you can try before you start each study session:

Close your eyes and breathe in through your nose for four seconds
Exhale through your mouth for four seconds
Repeat three times

Tip: Try this just before you go to bed as well. It will help you sleep better.

Habit #6: Learn how to motivate yourself

Do you find that sometimes it’s almost impossible to start studying? In fact, your body feels like a heavy stone as you drag yourself towards your workspace.

Don’t worry. Everyone feels like that from time to time.

You just need to know how to motivate yourself to study, and to do that we’re going to create another list.

This time, write down all the reasons why you want to study hard, such as:

I want to do my best
I want to become more disciplined
I want to prepare well for the future
I want to develop perseverance
I want to learn as much as I can

Put your list somewhere you can see it. The next time you feel like watching TV instead of studying, go through your list.

You’ll be fired up and ready to get back to your studies in no time!

Habit #7: Take notes during class

Taking notes in class is an important study tip to implement.

Why?

Think about the number of classes you go to every day at school and the mountain of information that gets thrown at you.

You’d never be able to remember everything you learned without taking notes.

Taking notes also helps you to absorb and retain information much better than just listening.

And lastly, think of your class notes as the backbone of your focused study time. They sum up what you’ve learned, and they make your study time more efficient.

(Here are some proven tips on how to take notes effectively.)

Habit #8: Review what you learned in school that day

Reviewing new information you learned in class is one of the most effective study habits you can develop.

Before the end of each day, read the notes you took or re-read the chapter that your teacher taught in class.

It won’t take long to do, and it will help you retain what you learned. It will also make the process of moving the information from short-term to long-term memory smoother.

Habit #9: Read your notes before you start doing your homework

This is similar to the last study habit we talked about.

The first thing you should do in your study session is to re-read the notes you took in class before you start the homework assignment for that topic.

Don’t forget to include this task in your study plan (see Habit #3).

It will refresh your memory, so you’ll be well prepared to tackle the assignment and you’ll finish your homework faster.

Habit #10: Get at least eight hours of sleep every night

We all know that a good night’s sleep makes us more alert and energised the next day.

But did you know that it also improves your memory and makes you a better student?

You probably think there’s no way a top student could get enough sleep, but you’re wrong. In fact, getting eight hours of sleep before an exam is more effective than staying up late, trying to cram all the information in.

The best way to make sure you get eight hours of good quality sleep is to go to bed at the same time each night. (Set an alarm to remind you, if necessary.)

Read a chapter of a book, but don’t read it on your phone or tablet. This is because the light from such screens makes it difficult for the brain to wind down and inhibits melatonin production.

In addition, turn off phones and other electronic devices that may disturb you during the night.

Habit #11: Create an environment that helps you study

Trying to work in a noisy room, or one with poor lighting, is going to make your study time less effective.

To develop good study habits, take a few minutes to ensure your workspace is conducive to studying.

Here are a few things to think about:

Do you have the necessary supplies and stationery within reach?
Is the lighting adequate?
Make sure your desk is tidy and uncluttered (do this before and after each study session)
Is the room at the right temperature?
Is your work chair comfortable?
Is the room quiet? (Use earplugs if necessary)
Is your phone switched off?
Delete any apps on your phone that you might be tempted to open when you should be studying
Are there any other distractions in the room that might disturb you, like a magazine or the TV? Switch them off or remove them altogether.

Habit #12: Time your study sessions and breaks

Do you find it hard to concentrate for more than 45 minutes at a time? That’s perfectly normal.

In fact, I’d recommend that you take a 5-minute break from studying every 30 to 40 minutes.

Don’t fall into the study habit of stretching out your break so it ends up being longer than your study time, though.

When you start a study session, set a timer for 30 to 40 minutes and then take a break. Likewise, set the timer for the end of the break so you know when to get back to work.

Habit #13: When you take a study break, step away from your desk

To develop good study habits, don’t forget to take breaks and use them wisely.

Step away from your desk and do something completely different to give your brain a break, as well as your body. Go for a short walk around the block or get a snack from the kitchen.

I encourage you not to watch a video, turn on the TV or check your social media news feed.

This is because these activities won’t give your brain a proper break.

Habit #14: Make use of the breaks you have during the school day

Do you have a long break in the middle of the school day or after lunch?

Is there something useful you could be doing with this time?

Maybe you could review the notes you took that morning or start preparing your study plan for later in the day.

Another great use of your free time is to seek out a fellow student and talk about what you’ve just learned. This is especially so if you need some clarification, or if you have doubts about something.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions. It’s an excellent way to learn faster and better.

Habit #15: Stay on top of your homework

This may sound like an obvious habit to cultivate as a student, but I’m often surprised by the number of students who let their homework pile up.

If it gets out of hand, just the thought of doing your homework can become overwhelming and stressful.

Before you know it, you’ll find yourself working so hard to catch up, you’ll have no time to study for important tests and exams, which are stressful enough on their own.

One of the most effective study habits to practise is to start your homework on the day it’s assigned.

At the very least, take a look at the questions while the information you learned is still fresh in your mind.

That way, if you have to come back to it later, you’ll have a rough framework as a starting point, making it much easier to complete.

Habit #16: Ask your teachers for help at least once a week

Your teachers are there to help you succeed. Don’t be afraid to reach out to them.

Asking for help is a crucial study habit to cultivate.

Include asking for help in your weekly schedule (see Habit #1) and keep a list of any questions you think of during the week.

Bring the list of questions with you, and don’t let them pile up.

If you let the questions pile up, you may start to feel overwhelmed, and you may become reluctant to seek help.

Habit #17: Use a planner to keep track of assignments and deadlines

If you’re not organised when it comes to things related to school, you’ll waste precious time doing last-minute work you forgot about.

Or you may stay up late to finish an assignment you should have started a week earlier.

Use a planner to keep track of important dates, tasks and deadlines. You can either use a physical diary or an online one like Google Calendar.

The important thing is to keep your planner up to date, so you don’t have to rely on your memory or wait for your teachers to remind you.

Planning and studying effectively will improve your test-taking skills and performance.

Don’t just include the date of a test, for example, when you use your planner. Include a reminder to start revising for the test well in advance.

And review your planner at least once a week. Every Monday, go through all the upcoming deadlines, and prioritise the tasks and projects you’ll need to keep on top of for the week.

Habit #18: Test yourself periodically

Don’t wait for regular tests and exams to come around before you start studying. Set mini-tests for yourself every few weeks.

You may have reviewed your class notes once, but it doesn’t mean the information has been absorbed or effectively memorised for a future exam.

Here’s how to test yourself…

When you review your class notes, highlight some of the key things you’ve learned.

For example, in history it might be the date of an important event. Write down some test questions on a separate sheet of paper as you go, such as “When did the war start?” or “What caused the civil war?”

The next day, pull out the test questions and see how many answers you can remember.

It takes some effort to succeed at a test you give yourself, but that effort will be rewarded when it comes to exam time.

Habit #19: Check your work before you consider it done

When you finish an assignment, don’t consider it done until you’ve double-checked your work for careless mistakes.

Here’s what you should be looking out for:

Spelling mistakes
Grammar mistakes
Poor presentation
Have I responded to the question?
Have I left out key facts?
Have I got the equations correct?

Habit #20: Keep a “worry” list

It’s common for students to worry about not doing well, but it’s a distracting pastime.

When you worry about something, it can hinder your ability to focus on learning and improving.

That’s why you need to keep a “worry” list.

Strange as it may sound, research has shown that writing down a list of your fears about school can actually improve your grades.

When you write down a list of your worries, it’s as though you’re unloading your anxieties and freeing up your brain to concentrate on learning.

So whenever a worry pops into your mind, write it down and move on.

Habit #21: Use online resources (if your teacher isn’t available)

Your teacher should be the first person you go to with a question or concern about the class material – unless you can easily find the answer on the Internet.

But if your teachers aren’t available when you need something clarified (which often happens in the middle of study time), there are some great online resources you can use.

Here are some of them:

Habit #22: If you struggle with procrastination, use the Pomodoro Technique

Procrastination or a lack of focus is a big problem during study time.

We’ve already talked about the need to take regular breaks (see Habit #13), but there’s another method you might find useful.

It’s called the Pomodoro Technique.

The idea is that you’ll stay on top of your work if you break your study periods up into focused but manageable bursts of 25 minutes.

This is instead of trying to concentrate for two hours or more at a go, which takes a lot of energy and willpower.

The objective is to train your brain to focus on a task that needs to be completed and postpone all distractions until later.

Here’s how it works:

Set a timer for 25 minutes
Concentrate 100% on studying until the timer rings
Take a five-minute break – and remember to step away from your desk
Repeat until the end of your study session

Here are some apps you can try:

Focus Booster – This is available for desktop and mobile devices. You can download the starter version for free.
Pomofocus – This one is free and doesn’t need downloading. Just open it up and start the timer.

Check out this article for even more apps you can use.

Start practising your new study habits

Well done! You’ve read about the 22 study habits that are guaranteed to improve your grades.

(On top of that, here are 8 bad study habits you’ll want to avoid.)

Reading about these habits is a great start. But nothing’s going to change if you just click away from this article.

If you’re wondering how to get good grades, you need to take action – every day, every week, and every month. Start tomorrow with just one new study habit. Make it part of your daily routine.

After a week, pick another one and put it into practice.

Before you know it, you’re going to turn those disappointing B’s and C’s into straight A’s. I guarantee it!

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How to Motivate Your Teenager to Do Better in School: 10 Tips Guaranteed to Work

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 32 Comments

Do you have trouble motivating your children to study?

It’s a common problem that I see in my coaching work with pre-teens and teens.

I notice that many parents approach this problem in the wrong way.

In this article, I’m going to explain 10 principles for motivating children to do well in school.

(Don’t forget to download your free e-book below.)

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How NOT to motivate your teenager to do better in school

The first five items on the list below might be things you’ve done in the past, but there’s no reason to get down on yourself about them.

They’re simply common parenting habits that are born from good intentions, but ultimately are not effective motivational tools.

You can start today to become a better listener, less controlling, and more accepting. Let’s take a look at what to avoid going forward.

1. Don’t annoy your children

One of the keys to motivating your children to work hard is not to annoy them.

This may seem odd at first, as we’re used to parents getting annoyed with children, not vice versa.

But relationships are a two-way street, and parents can also annoy children.

If your children are continually upset with you over things you say or do, they will find it hard to listen to you.

You may have some great wisdom to offer them, but your children won’t be receptive to your advice.

Parents often engage in power struggles with their children. For some of us, these are habits we learned from our own childhoods.

But power struggles with your children consume a lot of energy. And that’s energy that could be spent on something more constructive.

Another habit to avoid is making comments that suggest your child isn’t good enough.

This may be something you’re not aware that you do.

It may be very subtle. For example, take the statement: “You’re improving, but I know you can do better.”

On the surface, it sounds like encouragement. But you’re actually telling your child that he or she isn’t good enough.

Or take a statement that begins: “When I was your age…” These kinds of statements usually involve a comparison that leaves your children feeling bad. So avoid making these types of comments.

Another trap that parents fall into is comparing their children with someone else’s. Parents often hope that these comparisons will inspire their children to do better.

Unfortunately, these comments have the opposite effect.

“I hear that John got A’s in all his subjects the last term” may seem like an innocent remark. But it’s a comparison that leaves your child feeling worse about himself or herself.

This is not the way to motivate your children.

Sometimes, parents try to motivate their children by giving them lectures. But lectures tend to make children feel powerless and resentful.

Instead of lecturing your children, discuss the issue with them and ask them what they think. This is much more effective than lecturing them.

Why?

Because it gets them involved, and makes them part of the solution.

2. Don’t use rewards, punishments, or threats

As a parent, it’s tempting to use rewards, punishments or threats to motivate your children to behave in a certain way.

Research has shown this approach doesn’t work in the long term.

There are three reasons in particular that rewards and punishments are to be avoided.

Firstly, rewards and punishments are bad for your relationship with your children.

They teach your children that they’re loved for what they do and not for who they are. Children who grow up unsure that they’re loved for who they are tend to make poor life choices later on.

Secondly, rewards and punishments may get short-term results, but they ignore the underlying issue: Why is your child not motivated?

It’s much better to address the root cause than to use a band-aid approach of rewards and punishments.

Thirdly, rewards and punishments put your children’s focus entirely on outcomes. Your children’s level of motivation is based on the promise of the reward or the threat of the punishment.

Rewards, punishments and threats don’t teach your children how to develop intrinsic motivation. They don’t cultivate in your children a love of learning.

As mentioned earlier in this article, it’s better to focus on the process and not the outcome. This way, your children will develop self-discipline and a sense of responsibility.

So what should you do instead of using rewards and punishments?

Discuss with your children the joy (and benefits) of learning and studying.

Explain to them that most rewarding careers require an investment of time and effort.

But it’s also important to explain to your children that the process itself is rewarding, even though it will involve sacrifices.

Discuss with your children what their hopes and aspirations are.

Help them to dream big and dare to fail – and model for them how you’re doing the same in your own life.

This approach produces the kind of intrinsic motivation and self-discipline that will last a lifetime.

3. Don’t try to control all of their actions

If you want to motivate your children, they need to feel as if they’re in control of their lives.

Being motivated comes from knowing that you can shape your future through the actions you take today.

But if children feel as if their parents are in complete (or almost complete) control, they will have little motivation.

Some parents hover over their children like a helicopter. They micromanage every last detail of their children’s lives.

The result is that the children never develop a sense that they’re responsible for their education and their lives.

By empowering your children, they’ll develop a sense of autonomy and responsibility.

Talk to your children regularly about expectations and consequences.

As a parent, I’m sure you have expectations of your children. For example, you may expect them to keep their room tidy – and there may be consequences for not doing that.

Learning to be responsible in one area (keeping their room tidy) encourages them to be responsible in other areas of life, such as studying.

With this approach, you still need to be involved in your children’s lives. The difference is that instead of hovering and micromanaging, you create boundaries around your involvement.

For example, you can make it clear to your children that you’re available to answer homework-related questions every weeknight between 8 pm and 9 pm.

This way, your children will develop the ability to motivate themselves. They’ll know that they alone are responsible for making sure their homework gets done.

In contrast, consider children whose parents nag them every day to do their homework. Those children won’t develop the ability to motivate themselves.

4. Don’t obsess over the results; emphasise the process instead

The writer Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: “Life is a journey, not a destination.”

This principle applies to study skills and tips as much as it does to life in general.

When motivating your children to do well in school, focus on the process and not the results.

If your children are too focused on results, there’s a danger that when they don’t achieve the results they want, they’ll give up.

What’s more, when we focus only on results, the process becomes a “necessary evil”.

The process becomes something we go through grudgingly because we want a certain result.

But this approach doesn’t encourage a love of learning.

We live in an age when learning is a skill that we need to practise throughout our lives. The world is changing faster than ever before. As such, we all need to be continually learning.

And that’s why it’s important to focus on the process, not the results.

Cultivate in your children a love of learning for its own sake, not just as a means to achieve a goal. At the end of the day, achieving goals is a by-product of the systems and processes that we follow.

For example, as a concert pianist, you may have a goal to play Mozart’s Piano Concerto No. 15 in B-flat major without making a single mistake.

The system or process that makes it possible to reach that goal is how often you practise, how you break down and learn difficult cadenzas, and how you incorporate feedback from your music teacher.

When teaching children how to study and how to motivate themselves, it’s vital that you focus on the process and not the outcome.

5. Don’t reduce your child to a problem that needs to be solved

Pre-teens and teens are going through a lot of changes, both physically and mentally.

It’s also a time when they may start displaying problematic behaviours, such as aggression, mood swings, being argumentative, and defying established rules.

As a parent, it’s natural for these kinds of behaviours to become the centre of your attention – they’re problems that you want to solve.

But it’s actually better not to focus on these behaviours.

Instead, try to understand your children’s perspective:

How do they feel about the situation?
What opinions do they have?

To understand your children better, you’ll need to practise active listening.

Active listening occurs when we give our full attention to what someone is saying.

This means that you aren’t multitasking while your children are talking to you. It means that you aren’t checking your phone or writing a list of things to do.

Active listening means not interrupting your children while they’re talking. It means not judging them or moralising about something they did. It means not offering unsolicited advice.

You can show your children that you’re giving them your full attention by saying things like “go on” and “tell me more”.

Now and again, summarise your understanding of what your children have been saying.

For example, you could say: “It sounds as if there’s a ‘cool’ group of kids in your class, and that you’re feeling excluded by them.”

This indicates to your child that you’re actively listening. It’s also a way of checking that you understand what he or she is saying.

Some parents think that if only they could make their children understand some fundamental principle, the whole problem would disappear.

But often what pre-teens and teens need most is not to understand; they need to feel understood.

When they don’t feel understood, they become defiant.

On the other hand, when they feel understood, it creates a space where they feel safe. And that, in turn, creates an environment where they’re open to looking at the problem in a new light.

How to motivate your teenager to do better in school

Now it’s time to focus on positive behaviour that helps your child feel understood, supported, and encouraged.

Use these strategies to strengthen your connection with your child and teach him or her crucial organisational and planning skills. These healthy habits will help your child in school and beyond.

6. Develop routines and structure

Routines and structure play a crucial role in developing motivation in your children.

Having established routines in family life eliminates a majority of conflicts.

Take homework, for example.

Let’s say you have an established routine that your children do their homework every weeknight between 7 pm and 9 pm.

There won’t be conflicts related to homework, because it’s simply “the way we do things in this family”.

But in a family without routines, ensuring that your children do their homework becomes a daily battle.

Of course, even established routines sometimes need to be reinforced or modified.

For example, now and again you may need to say something like: “When you’ve completed your homework, you can go to Melissa’s house.”

To create a homework routine, it’s a good idea to set up a small part of the house as a study area.

Having a study area that’s free of distractions will help your children develop a homework routine.

It may also help your children if you also devote that period of time to doing your own “homework”. This could be paying bills online, taking an online course, or reading a book to learn about a new topic.

7. Equip your children with planning and organisational skills

As parents, we (hopefully) have planning and organisational skills that we’ve developed over the years.

But we often take these skills for granted, and forget that our children don’t yet have those skills.

Pre-teens and teens can feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and stressed because of the demands they face at school. In response, many of them give up and turn to videos and games as a form of escape.

Some pre-teens and teens might even say they hate school.

But if they have planning and organisational skills, their attitude toward school and academics will be different.

One organisational skill you can teach your children is to break down big tasks into smaller tasks.

Some people call this “chunking down”. This technique makes any task more manageable and doable.

Another skill you can teach your children is list-making. Lists are at the heart of all organisational skills, so this is a great place to start.

You could teach your children how to use a list to pack their bag for a school camp or a school outing.

Planning is another organisational skill that will reduce your children’s stress related to school and exams.

Planning involves placing lists of tasks to be completed within a certain timeframe. This way, your children will learn to complete tasks one by one instead of leaving them until it’s so late that they feel overwhelmed.

For example, if your children have exams coming up, you could teach them how to:

Break down their revision material into a series of tasks
Use a calendar to plan how they’re going to complete those tasks within a set timeframe

8. Create a family culture where it’s OK to make mistakes

We learn more from our failures than we do from our successes.

Thomas Edison made an extraordinary number of unsuccessful attempts at inventing the electric light bulb.

When a reporter asked him how it felt to fail 1,000 times, Edison replied: “I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.”

Unfortunately, we live in an age that places enormous emphasis on instant success.

Failure isn’t tolerated. Parents correct their children’s homework to improve their grades. They argue with teachers who try to point out areas where their children need to improve.

Yet making mistakes is an essential part of learning.

We must learn from our mistakes and correct them, much like a ship that frequently adjusts its course to stay on the correct bearing.

If you want to motivate your children to study hard and do well in school, one of the best things you can do is create a family culture where it’s OK to make mistakes.

One way to do this is to share with your children your own mistakes and what you learned from them.

For example, maybe you went to university to study one field and ended up switching to a different field when you started work. By sharing that experience with your children, you’re showing them that they don’t have to get it “right” the first time.

If you want to teach your children to love learning, one thing you should avoid at all costs is focusing too much on their failures.

Instead of criticising them for their failures, help them to identify what they’ve learned from their mistakes.

A study by Stanford University has shown that children who are praised for their effort work harder and give up less easily.

On the other hand, children who are afraid of failure are more likely to become discouraged when they make mistakes. Instead of learning from their mistakes and moving on, they’re likely to give up altogether.

9. Show an interest in all aspects of your children’s lives

One of the keys to motivating your children to do well in school is to show an interest in all aspects of their lives, not just their academics.

If your only concern is how your children are doing in school, they may begin to feel as if they’re being treated as a project instead of as a person.

This can lead to them feeling resentful. And resentment will result in resistance to anything related to studying.

Treat your child as a whole person, not as a project or problem.

Listen to your children when they talk about their interests. Encourage them to get involved in non-school activities, like dance or drama or athletics.

How pre-teens and teens spend their time is crucial to their overall development.

An approach that focuses entirely on studying won’t help your children to develop in a balanced way.

Learning a musical instrument, playing a team sport, and taking an online course on entrepreneurship are all activities that will help your children to develop holistically.

These non-academic activities will give your children a much-needed break from their studies, and will help them to do better as they pursue their long-term academic goals.

10. Help your children to find a mentor

According to research by North Carolina State University, children who have mentors are more likely to become successful.

A mentor is an adult who acts as a role model for your children.

One of the benefits of your children having a mentor is that they will understand a perspective on life from someone who isn’t their parent.

The mentor’s values and attitudes may be similar to yours. It’s much easier to teach values to your children when they’re also modelled by someone outside the family.

One reason for this is that children inevitably become accustomed to their parents’ viewpoints and begin to tune their parents out.

Having a mentor is a chance for your children to re-engage with those values, from a fresh perspective.

A mentor can be particularly helpful when there’s an ongoing conflict between parents and children.

In this kind of situation, your children can benefit from having a neutral third party they can turn to. The mentor may help your children to see the issues from a new perspective.

So where can you find a mentor for your children?

A mentor could be:

A sports coach, art teacher or music teacher
A neighbour or family friend
One of your co-workers
Someone who runs a coaching/mentoring programme (I’m not ashamed to say that I fall into this category of people, because it’s extremely rewarding work)

Conclusion

These ten principles will help you to build in your child a deeper motivation to work hard.

Some of these principles, like establishing routines and structure, may take a while to implement. But other tips and principles you can put into practice right away.

For example, you can start practising active listening today.

I’m confident you’ll start seeing positive results.

(Here’s a link where you can explore more tips on how to motivate a teenager.)

Wishing you all the best on this challenging but meaningful journey!

(If you haven’t already done so, make sure to download your free e-book below.)

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The Ultimate List of 101 Study Tips for Students

Updated on April 19, 2023 By Daniel Wong 49 Comments

Have you ever wished you could get inside the minds of straight-A students and learn their best study tips?

If so, keep reading.

In this article, I’m going to share with you the study tips that will enable you to succeed academically.

This list of 101 study tips for students is divided into the following categories:

Tips to improve studying attitude and mindset
Studying methods and techniques
Study tips related to habits and commitments
Study tips to enhance focus
Tips to get the best academic support
Study tips for optimal memory and brain function
Tips to improve studying routine and structure

Are you ready?

Let’s dive in!

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Enter your email below to download a step-by-step planning worksheet as a PDF. The planning worksheet will enable you to implement the tips in this article and get better grades!

Tips to improve studying attitude and mindset

Study tips are only effective when you’re in the right frame of mind to use them. Develop the right attitude and mindset for studying to stay motivated and reach your goals.

1. Don’t say “I have to”, and instead say “I get to”

The words you use when you talk to yourself are important. They shape your attitude.

Saying to yourself: “Today, I have to work on this assignment” will produce feelings of stress and frustration.

Instead, try saying to yourself: “Today, I get to work on this assignment.” Saying this will remind you that education is a privilege.

This simple change in attitude will give you more motivation and focus to get the task done.

2. Take full responsibility for your own learning

When you take responsibility for your learning, you’ll become more proactive.

One way to bring about a change in this area is to ask yourself: “If I’m not responsible for my learning, then who is?”

Asking yourself this question will help you to realise that no one else is responsible for your learning – not your teachers, and not your parents.

3. Do more than what others are willing to do

In academics – as in any other area of human endeavour – the students who excel are the ones who are prepared to go the extra mile.

Instead of doing the bare minimum to meet the requirements, do more than what others are willing to do.

This might mean doing two or three more questions than the ones that your teacher assigned.

It might mean looking up additional resources, or it might mean proofreading your essay one final time.

4. Don’t focus on grades too much

As a student, it’s easy to become fixated on grades.

But remember that grades are just a form of feedback; they aren’t an end in themselves.

Don’t allow a focus on grades to cause you to forget that it’s the process of learning that counts in the long run.

5. View challenges positively

When you’re learning something new, you’re likely to feel overwhelmed.

When anxiety and stress settle in, students can develop a fear of learning that prevents them from focusing and prioritizing, ultimately hindering their performance.

This is why you must develop what Dr Carol Dweck calls a “growth mindset”.

This means that instead of telling yourself that something is “too hard”, you tell yourself that it’s an opportunity to “grow” your brain.

After all, the more challenges you take on, the more you’ll learn.

6. Write down 3 to 5 reasons why you want to do well academically

One key to succeeding as a student is to be clear about why you want to succeed.

As Jim Rohn once said: “If you have enough reasons, you can do the most incredible things.”

Write down 3 to 5 reasons why you want to perform well in school, and read the list daily.

7. Volunteer and serve others regularly

This will remind you that education never occurs in a vacuum. Education is always about learning from others or passing on that knowledge to others.

By volunteering and serving others, you’ll start to see that your life isn’t mainly about you. It’s about using your skills and knowledge to make the world a better place.

In turn, this will give you the willpower to persevere in the midst of obstacles.

8. Regain your focus by asking these two questions…

The first question is: “What’s important now?”

The second question is: “What’s important next?”

A lack of focus is often the result of trying to do too many things at the same time.

When you find yourself unable to focus, these two questions will bring you back to the present.

9. Use systems and routines

Focus on developing systems and routines, instead of continually thinking about what you want to accomplish.

Students who perform well attribute their success not to lofty goals, but to their daily systems and processes.

The problem with focusing too much on goals is that this doesn’t enable you to connect your goals with the effort required.

Success involves committing to a discipline and a routine, even when the going gets tough.

10. Develop gratitude

Every day, write down at least one thing you’re thankful for.

It’s been shown that students who develop a sense of gratitude are able to harness positive thinking to improve their grades and quality of life.

You can develop your “gratitude muscle” by writing down one thing each day that you’re thankful for.

11. Be a “professional” student

When you’re in school, it’s easy to think that you’re just a student. It seems like you don’t have a job or profession yet – that’s why you’re still in school.

But you do have a job: being a “professional” student.

As a professional student, you should take it just as seriously as the job you’ll have when you’ve completed your formal education.

Professional students are responsible, focused and hardworking!

12. Be clear about your purpose

If you lack motivation, think about the purposes of education that are bigger than yourself.

Remember that the purpose of education is less about you and more about the contribution you can make to society.

With a strong sense of purpose, you’ll be more committed.

This is one of the most crucial study tips for students that will always be relevant.

13. Don’t blame others

Resist the urge to blame your teachers, parents, etc.

If things go wrong, remind yourself that your academics are your responsibility, not anyone else’s.

Studying methods and techniques

Different learning methods can improve your understanding and help you retain more information. Try these tips for studying to engage different parts of your brain and make studying more fun.

14. Vocalise to memorise

When trying to memorise key information or equations, say it out loud.

This study found that saying information out loud helps to move it to your long-term memory.

15. Create summary notes

Create summary notes of each chapter or topic you’re learning.

Condensing each chapter into a handful of key points will make it easier for you to consolidate your learning.

16. Take a study break every 30 to 45 minutes

Research shows that even brief diversions can dramatically increase your ability to focus.

Even if it’s a break of just a few minutes, your concentration will improve.

17. Use the Pomodoro Technique

If you can’t focus for 30 to 45 minutes straight, try the Pomodoro Technique instead.

(“Pomodoro” is the Italian word for “tomato”.)

The Pomodoro Technique is a way of studying in short bursts. Study in blocks of 25 minutes, with a 5-minute break in between blocks.

Once you’ve completed four blocks of 25 minutes, take a break of 15 to 30 minutes.

18. Test yourself often

Another useful study tip is to test yourself at regular intervals on what you’ve been learning.

This not only enables you to consolidate the new information, but it also ensures that you’re mastering the material.

19. Break tasks down

Break down overwhelming tasks into smaller, more manageable ones.

By doing this, you’ll feel more motivated to do your work and to study. You’ll also be less likely to feel discouraged or anxious.

Overall, you’ll become a far more productive student.

20. Keep a “done” list

As you complete the tasks on your list, check them off as “done”.

Keep this list for future reference.

Keeping a “done” list will give you a sense of accomplishment. As such, you’ll feel more productive, which will lead to you getting more done in the long run.

21. Give yourself a reward

Give yourself a reward – even a small one works – for each task you complete.

This serves as a reminder that you’re making progress. This will enable you to sustain your focus over the weeks and months.

22. Keep a list of the doubts and questions you have

Keep a running list of any doubts or questions that arise during your study sessions.

By noting them down, you won’t feel as if you have to remember them. This will free up your mind and allow you to concentrate better on the material you’re studying.

Once you have a chance, clarify your doubts with your teacher.

If your teacher isn’t available, then look for a suitable online resource instead.

23. Set tiny goals

If you find yourself procrastinating, set tiny goals.

The objective is to get started, which is always the hardest part of getting the work done.

For example, your goal for the next 15 minutes might be to read and summarise one page of a textbook (instead of the whole chapter).

In terms of the study tips for students that I recommend, this is an exceptionally practical one.

24. Make the material interesting by asking the right questions

Make the material interesting by asking questions such as:

Who developed this theory?
How did he or she develop this theory?
What challenges did he or she face?
What are the applications of this theory?

25. To improve your writing, use the Hemingway App

The Hemingway App checks your writing for overly complex sentences, as well as other common writing errors.

I use the app every time I write articles, and it has enabled me to correct many of my bad writing habits.

26. Never memorise information without first understanding it

The human brain is designed to process information, not to store information like it’s a hard drive.

This is why meaningful learning is far more effective than rote learning.

Meaningful learning happens when you understand the information and make sense of it.

If you don’t understand the material after reading through it several times, don’t be afraid to ask for assistance.

27. Take practice tests under test conditions

This will help to ensure that you understand what you’re learning.

By taking the tests under test conditions, it will also prepare you for the exam stress that you’ll face.

28. Explain the concept to someone else

An excellent way to master a complex topic is to explain it to someone else.

Through the act of explaining the topic to another person, you’ll get a better understanding of the topic.

If you can’t explain the concept in a simple way, it means that you probably haven’t mastered the concept yet.

29. Read the syllabus carefully

The syllabus is the scope of a subject or an outline of the topics covered in a particular course.

Don’t assume that you know the syllabus based on what material your teacher has been covering.

Read the syllabus for yourself so that you know exactly what topics will be tested.

This will make it easier for you to be well prepared for every test and exam.

30. Become familiar with the structure of the test or exam

While you won’t know the exact questions that will appear in a test or exam, your teacher should be able to tell you about the structure of the test or exam.

Having this information will allow you to be more specific in the way you prepare. In turn, this will enable you to get better grades.

31. Use free online resources

If you have trouble understanding the material, use free online resources like Khan Academy to learn the information.

32. Participate in class

Actively participating in class will help you to engage with the subject matter.

This will deepen your interest in the topic and allow you to learn the concepts more effectively.

33. Cultivate the habit of reading for leisure

Develop the habit of reading as a pastime.

Try reading both fiction and non-fiction books. I recommend reading biographies in particular as they tend to be inspirational.

By cultivating this habit, you’ll associate reading with something that’s enjoyable, rather than as something that you’re forced to do.

As such, you’ll be a happier and better student.

34. Set “focused attention” goals

If you think your teacher is especially boring, set “focused attention” goals.

Focus for 5 minutes, then take a 3-minute break. Repeat this until the class ends.

The following week, focus for 7 minutes at a go before taking a 3-minute break. As the weeks go by, increase the “focus” periods gradually.

This may not seem ideal, but it’s better than not paying attention at all.

Over time, you’ll be able to focus for longer stretches, even if your teacher is boring.

35. Before writing an essay or paper, create an outline first

Having an outline will make it possible for you to write better essays in less time.

The outline doesn’t have to be that detailed; just list the bullet points that summarise what you want to write about.

36. Write down every single resource you could use to prepare for a test or exam

By doing this, you’ll ensure that you don’t overlook any vital resources that will facilitate your preparation for the test or exam.

37. After you finish studying a set of notes, write down the date when you studied it

This will allow you to keep track of when you studied a particular topic.

As such, you’ll know when you ought to do a more thorough review of the topic, and when a more cursory review will suffice.

38. Make your notes visually appealing

For example, you could use different colours for different sub-topics, use headings and sub-headings, or add diagrams to illustrate key points.

In addition, you could create mind maps to represent the connections between different concepts and ideas.

When your notes are visually appealing, it will make your study sessions more interesting and satisfying.

39. To improve your writing, ask your teachers if you can submit additional essays

Most teachers will agree to this request.

By submitting additional essays, you’ll have more practice and more opportunities for feedback.

As a result, you’ll become a better writer.

40. Use a stopwatch

Use a stopwatch to time your study sessions and breaks.

This will enable you to stay on task and ensure that a 10-minute break doesn’t turn into a 2-hour break.

41. Complete unpleasant tasks first

This accomplishes two things.

Firstly, it gets you in the mindset where you’re not hiding from your challenges. Instead, you’re facing them head-on.

Secondly, having dealt with the unpleasant tasks first, they’ll no longer be hanging over your head. This means that you’ll maintain your levels of productivity.

42. When taking notes, write down only the key points

When taking notes during class, never try to write down everything the teacher says – you won’t be able to.

Instead, write down keywords or key points. By summarising the concepts in your own words, you’ll deepen your understanding of the topic.

43. Increase your reading speed

Increase your reading speed by using an online tool like Spreeder.

Learning to read faster allows you to take control of information overload, save time, and become a more effective student.

This isn’t just a study tip that I recommend to students; it’s a life skill.

44. Take notes by hand instead of on your computer

Research shows that taking notes on a computer results in shallower processing and understanding of the material as compared to taking notes by hand.

45. If you don’t feel like getting to work, set a timer for just 3 minutes

By doing this, you’re setting a goal to work for just 3 minutes.

Setting such a low target will push you to get started.

In this way, you’ll be less likely to procrastinate on school-related tasks.

You’ll probably find that you’ll keep going beyond those 3 minutes.

46. Use your finger or pen as a guide whenever you’re reading

This video shows you how to do this.

Combining a physical action with the act of reading will enable you to concentrate for longer.

You’ll daydream less, thus improving your studying efficiency.

When good study habits become part of your daily routine, success happens naturally. Commit to cultivating these habits, while you also pay attention to the poor study habits you want to avoid or change.

47. Check through your homework at least once before you submit it

By doing this, you’ll almost always find at least one or two mistakes that would otherwise have gone uncorrected.

48. Submit 100% of your homework on time

Make this a personal commitment, because it’s your responsibility as a student.

You’ll be surprised at how quickly it becomes a studying-related habit that you’re unwilling to break.

49. To form new healthy study habits, make use of technology

Develop new study habits using apps like Habitica and HabitBull.

These apps help you to keep track of the new habits you’re trying to develop.

They also turn the habit formation process into an enjoyable one.

50. Before starting on a homework assignment, read through your notes

Don’t assume that you’ve already mastered the topic, even before doing the homework assignment.

The act of reading your notes will jog your memory and make doing the homework a more meaningful learning process.

51. Review any new information learned on the same day

Review and consolidate any new information on the same day that you learned it.

This will ensure that you understand the information and will make it easier for you to move the new information to your long-term memory.

In the long run, you won’t need to spend so much time studying to master the material.

52. Take notes during every class

Research shows that we forget about 40% of new information learned over the subsequent 24 hours.

Taking notes helps you to retain more information, and also helps you to concentrate during class.

53. Do plenty of practice tests and exams

Do practice tests and exams at regular intervals.

This will allow you to gauge whether or not you’re mastering the topics and concepts.

Another form of practice that can be fun is the Feynman technique. Try this out with a classmate or a friend.

54. Don’t cram for tests or exams

Cramming is what happens when you leave your studying to the last minute.

Not surprisingly, 90% of students report that learning is more effective when it’s spaced out, as opposed to cramming.

So be consistent and don’t cram!

55. Prepare for every class

Do the recommended readings before each class.

If you know what your teacher will be covering in the upcoming class, skim the relevant textbook chapter to get an idea of what the class will be about.

56. Pay attention in class, even if you already understand the material

If you already know the concepts well, treat the class as a review session.

You’ll consolidate your learning and retain the information for longer.

57. Decide specifically when you’ll start studying for every test and exam

Mark the date on your calendar, because this will make it much more likely that you’ll start studying on that day.

Don’t just make a vague commitment that you’ll start studying “early” – we all know that doesn’t work.

58. Complete all of your homework the day it is assigned, as far as possible

Do your best to keep this commitment.

Use the fun things you want to do as a reward for completing your homework – you’ll enjoy them more for having first completed your assignments.

What’s more, the undone homework assignments won’t pile up and cause you unnecessary stress.

59. After every test and exam, analyse how you can improve in the future

After you’ve received your graded test or exam, look through it carefully.

Ask yourself questions such as:

Which topics do I know well?
Which topics do I not know so well?
What avoidable mistakes did I make?
How can I ensure that I don’t make these mistakes in the future?
What do I need to do differently to better prepare for the next test or exam?

60. Don’t rely on your memory

Nobody’s memory is perfect, so write things down.

I encourage you to write down every single thing that you want to remember, e.g. homework assignments, deadlines, events, ideas, key concepts.

Don’t leave it to chance.

Of the study tips for students mentioned in this article, this is one of the simplest but most powerful ones.

61. Never skip classes

Don’t skip classes, even if you think the class is “useless”.

Missing classes can quickly turn into a bad habit. And besides, it’s not worth it.

When you consider the amount of time you’ll spend catching up on what you missed, you might as well have attended the class in the first place.

62. Proofread every essay you write

A few spelling errors will ruin even the most brilliant essay.

And don’t rely too much on a spell-checker.

Your essay may contain words that are spelled correctly but are nevertheless errors, such as “there” instead of “their”, or “form” instead of “from”.

63. Do filing at least once a week

Organisation is a crucial part of becoming a successful student.

Not being able to find key information when you need it will make you waste precious time.

As such, I recommend that you file your notes, assignments, etc. at least once a week.

Make an appointment with yourself to do your filing on the same day each week, so you’ll be more likely to do it.

64. Don’t study or do work on your bed

It’s essential that the place where you study isn’t the same place where you sleep.

Your bed might be the most comfortable place to be in, but you’ll feel sleepy while studying. You may even end up taking a nap when you didn’t intend to!

65. Pre-commit to the habits that you want to develop

Pre-commitment is the act of making it impossible for you to allow a lack of willpower to get in the way of positive behavioural change.

For example, you could ask your parents to take away your phone or tablet every evening at 6pm. This would ensure that you’ll be more focused when you study in the evening.

Another example would be booking a study room at the library so that you and your friends can study together. This way, you won’t forego the study session.

List the positive habits you want to develop as a student, and think about ways to pre-commit to them.

66. Make full use of your travel time

On the train ride home, for example, you can review what you learned earlier that day in school.

Or you could make use of the bus ride home to plan what tasks you intend to complete by the end of the day.

By making the most of your travel time, you’ll have more time to do the things you enjoy.

67. Sit at the front of the class whenever possible

Research has shown that when students are randomly assigned to different seats in a classroom, the ones who sit at the front get better grades.

Sitting at the front of the class makes it easier for you to stay focused, and makes it less likely that you’ll fall asleep in class.

Study tips to enhance focus

Don’t let distractions and a lack of focus get in your way. These are the best study tips to create a distraction-free environment.

68. Create an area that is conducive to studying

Before you begin a study session, make sure that you have easy access to everything you need, e.g. textbooks, writing paper, stationery.

Adjust the lighting so that it’s comfortable for reading.

Also, make sure the temperature is right. Research shows that the temperature most conducive to studying is roughly 22.0°C (71.6°F).

69. When you feel like you’re about to get distracted, write down the distraction

For example, if you’re in the middle of a study session and you suddenly feel like watching a YouTube video, write down “YouTube” on a sheet of paper.

This is a way of saying to your brain: “I’ll come back to that later.”

It will give you a sense of release from the distraction and leave you free to focus on the present task.

During your next break, you can indulge in that distraction.

70. Get rid of all distractions before you start studying

Put your phone and tablet on “silent”.

Even better, put them in another room.

I recommend that you use a tool like Freedom to prevent you from accessing distracting apps and websites during study sessions.

If you’re a distracted student, you won’t be an effective student.

So take this tip seriously!

71. If you start worrying while studying, write down your worries

If you find yourself worrying excessively before a test or exam, write down your worries on a piece of paper.

Research by the University of Chicago has shown that this exercise allows students to relieve their anxieties.

This, in turn, leads to students getting better grades.

72. Never study while watching TV, videos, etc.

Don’t attempt to study with TV or videos playing in the background.

Don’t scroll through your social media feed while trying to get some work done, either.

In other words, don’t multitask.

To have a fruitful study session, you need to remove all external stimuli that take your focus away from the task at hand.

73. Tell your family and friends when you’ll be studying

When your family members and friends know when you’ll be studying, they won’t interrupt or distract you.

74. If you’re too busy, make a list of your commitments

Review this list and eliminate those commitments that are less important.

Remind yourself that it’s impossible to do everything in life; you need to focus.

By prioritising, you’ll carve out more time to study and to do other meaningful things.

Prioritisation is a key time management principle for students to apply!

75. Use earplugs to block out noise

If noise from your surroundings – such as traffic, people talking, or dogs barking – is distracting you, use earplugs to create your own “quiet zone”.

76. Listen to classical music while studying

If you don’t like to study in silence, play classical music in the background.

Research indicates that listening to classical music while studying can help you to retain information.

Here are 10 recommended pieces by composers such as Mozart, Brahms, and Bach.

77. Listen to white noise while studying

This is an alternative, in case you’re not a fan of classical music.

Research from the University of Chicago has shown that we think better and are more creative when there’s a moderate level of background noise.

Coffitivity and Hipstersound are two tools you can check out for suitable white noise to listen to while doing work.

Tips to get the best academic support

A strong support system will help you stay on track. Plus, having the right people around you will help you study more effectively.

78. Study with motivated friends

There are powerful benefits related to studying in a group.

One benefit is that it makes you accountable to a group of friends who expect you to show up to study sessions.

Another benefit is that you can share notes. When you do this, you’ll be able to see how other students take notes, which will enable you to improve your own note-taking skills.

79. Don’t be afraid or too proud to ask for help

If you need assistance, ask for it.

A study by Saint Louis University researchers found that students who ask for help are more likely to get A’s.

This isn’t a surprising finding. What is surprising is that the study also found that fewer than 1 in 5 students ask their instructors for help.

80. Ask your teachers for additional feedback

Ask your teachers for additional feedback, especially when all the feedback you’ve received is what letter grade you got.

This is especially so for essays.

The more feedback you get, the easier it will be for you to focus on improving specific areas of knowledge.

Most teachers will be more than happy to provide you with additional feedback.

81. Work with an academic coach

If you’re wondering how to deal with bad grades or with a lack of motivation, get guidance from an academic coach.

An educational coach can help you to pinpoint the root causes of problems and suggest solutions.

I work with pre-teens and teens 1-to-1 through this coaching programme (it’s about life coaching and much more). In this programme, I equip them to become motivated, disciplined, responsible and resilient.

Study tips for optimal memory and brain function

You’re in the best position to learn when your brain is healthy, rested, and calm. Use these strategies to optimise your brain function and memory, and you’ll learn faster.

82. Do deep breathing exercises

Do deep breathing exercises for just a few minutes every day to improve your brain function and focus.

Researchers found that focused deep breathing raises levels of noradrenaline (also called norepinephrine). Noradrenaline is a neurotransmitter that increases your alertness.

83. Get at least 8 hours of sleep every night

This research highlights the vital role that sleep plays in processing information.

The study found that during “slow wave” sleep, the brain replays information learned while awake.

This results in the consolidation of information and memories, and moves them into long-term storage.

Losing sleep means losing time for this consolidation process to occur. So if you want to study effectively, get at least 8 hours of sleep every night.

There are so many study tips for students in this article, but I encourage you to put this one into practice as a priority.

84. Exercise regularly

Research by Harvard Medical School shows that exercise improves learning by encouraging nerve cells to bind to one another. This is the cellular basis for learning new information.

Do your best to get at least 15 to 30 minutes of exercise daily.

85. Drink plenty of water

Research has shown that water consumption improves cognitive performance and information processing in both children and adults.

86. Use mnemonics to improve your memory

A mnemonic is a memory system that links certain words to specific information, like an anchor.

For instance, you could use the phrase “Super Man Helps Every One” to remember the order of the Great Lakes from west to east (Superior, Michigan, Huron, Erie, Ontario).

Create your own mnemonics to memorise “sequential” information you encounter across your various subjects.

87. Use images and sounds to improve your memory

Use the visualisation and association technique to link vivid mental images with concepts or facts that you want to remember.

This is far more effective than just trying to memorise the information without using a specific memory technique.

88. Develop healthy eating habits

Research from the University of Melbourne shows that high fat and high sugar diets have a negative impact on learning, memory, and information processing.

This means that a diet that’s good for your body is good for your brain.

If you want to do well in school, you must go the extra mile in terms of taking care of your physical health too.

89. Eat foods rich in omega-3 fatty acids

Research shows that test anxiety can be improved by eating foods high in omega-3 and -6 fatty acids.

These foods include salmon, flaxseed and walnuts.

90. Don’t rely on energy drinks or caffeine to stay awake

If you’re tired, the only real remedy is a good night’s sleep.

Over time, energy drinks won’t give you the boost that you’re hoping for.

Like coffee, they’ll disrupt your sleep cycle, which will only make the situation worse.

91. Train your brain

Use an online tool like BrainHQ, which will give your brain a workout in areas such as attention, memory, navigation, and intelligence.

Tips to improve studying routines and structure

As a student, you need to stay organised and manage your time well. These study tips will enable you to create structure and routine in your life, so you’ll never have to cram the night before an exam.

92. Use technology to organise your student life

For example, MyStudyLife is an app that keeps track of your tasks, in addition to your schedule and timetable.

Such apps make it far easier for students to stay organised.

93. Keep a time log

Keep a time log so that you can see how much time you’re spending on different tasks. You’ll be surprised at the results!

Keep the log for at least three days, writing down every single thing you do each day.

By reviewing your time log, you’ll be able to minimise or eliminate low-value activities.

This will allow you to spend more time doing high-value work, while still having the same amount of free time.

94. Create a daily plan for each day

Create a daily plan for each day, so that you’ll know your priorities in terms of which tasks you’ll work on.

Without a plan, the days’ distractions will quickly take over. A plan reminds you what it is you want to achieve and how you’re going to achieve it.

95. Create a weekly schedule

Creating a weekly schedule gives you the structure needed to be a productive student.

Set aside time in your schedule for the things that are most important to you, e.g. family time, religious activities, school activities.

When you’ve created a weekly schedule, you’ll rely more on your schedule to get things done, instead of waiting to feel “motivated”.

96. Block out time for studying

On your calendar, block out the periods that you intend to spend studying.

Colour-code the blocks of time to indicate different subjects or studying-related activities.

This is a representation of your commitment to be a focused and effective student.

97. Use a calendar or planner and keep it with you at all times

In this way, you’ll be able to update your calendar or planner when changes come up – which is bound to happen.

With an updated schedule, you’ll be a more organised and productive student.

98. Do a weekly review

At the end of each week, review how your week went.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself:

How many of your scheduled tasks did you complete?
Were there any obstacles that prevented you from focusing?
How will you ensure that next week will be a fruitful one?

Reviewing your progress each week allows you to fine-tune your study schedule.

99. Set boundaries for social activities

To perform well in school, you must balance your academics with your social life.

Now, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have a social life at all. I’m a firm believer that it’s important to lead a balanced life.

But not all your friends will have the same level of commitment to their academics that you do.

So you need to be clear about your own guidelines, as you’ll encounter peer pressure to do what your friends are doing.

For instance, you might decide that you won’t go out with your friends more than once a week. You might also set boundaries related to who you choose to hang out with.

100. Develop a plan for every upcoming test and exam

Set a date for when you’ll start studying for the test or exam.

Make a list of the topics and sub-topics that you need to cover. Set aside time each week to study, and write down what you’ll do to prepare for the test or exam.

101. At the end of each day, take a few minutes to reflect

Ask yourself questions such as:

What went well?
What didn’t go so well?
Did you make the right decisions related to your friendships, academics, family, etc.?
What adjustments do you need to make going forward?
What new habits do you need to form?
What bad habits do you need to eliminate?

Conclusion

At over 5,000 words, this is a very long article filled with study tips for students.

Great job making it to the end of the article!

Rest assured that there’s no need to implement every single study tip right away. That would be too overwhelming.

(To develop a structured plan to put the tips into practice, download the free planning worksheet below.)

I hope this article has given you a sense of clarity, focus and purpose as you strive to be the best student you can be.

Wishing you all the best on this challenging and rewarding journey!

Like this article? Please share it with your friends.

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Parents, Stop Telling Your Kids to Study Hard for Their Own Good (And What to Do Instead)

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 45 Comments

Yes, it is for your kids’ own good that they study hard.

But you shouldn’t tell them that.

Why not?

Because if you do, they’ll be less likely to study hard.

(I’ve spoken to and worked with more than 20,000 students, so I say this with confidence.)

In this article, I’ll provide an explanation.

I’ll also share three tips to help your kids develop intrinsic motivation.

(Don’t forget to download your free e-book below.)

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Don’t expect your kids to get an education in school

This might sound strange, so hear me out.

We live in a world where knowledge abounds.

It’s incredible that most of this knowledge is available for free online – you just have to seek it out.

A couple of decades ago, to get an education you had almost no choice but to attend school.

But today, you can take courses on Khan Academy, Coursera, Udacity, Udemy, and other websites.

If you’re diligent about taking these courses, you’d acquire more skills and knowledge than you would in almost any traditional school.

This means that, over time, the diplomas and degrees that schools give out will matter less.

It also means that students shouldn’t go to school expecting to get an education. Rather, school should form just one part of a student’s education.

In the future, diplomas and degrees won’t be the ticket to a well-paying job and a comfortable life. (This is already starting to be the case.)

But for now, such certificates still matter.

Statistics show that students who perform better in school are more likely to get jobs that pay better.

And students who study hard are obviously more likely to perform well in school.

Which means that if you want to motivate your kids, you should tell them to work hard in school for their own benefit, right?

Wrong.

Allow me to explain.

3 reasons it’s ineffective to tell your kids to study hard for their own good

Reason #1: Students today aren’t hungry for a “better life”

In developed countries today, most children and teenagers have more material things than they need.

More toys than they need.

More shoes than they need.

More clothes than they need.

More electronic devices than they need.

In contrast, one or two generations ago, most people experienced real hardship.

For example, my parents and grandparents grew up with far less (materially speaking) than I did.

From an early age, it was obvious to my parents that if they wanted to have a more comfortable life in the future, they needed to work hard in school.

Their teachers and parents told them that education was the key to success – and in that era, it was true.

Today, young people already lead lives of comfort, if not luxury.

Not all of them realise this, but some do.

For example, I know a student who dropped out of school at the age of 14 because she hated everything about school.

No matter what her parents said, she refused to go to school.

In a moment of reflection, she said, “You know, I’m not doing anything productive with my life. But my life is still pretty good. I have a smartphone, I have access to the Internet, I have a nice bed to sleep in, and I have air conditioning at home.”

If you live in a developed country, I’m guessing that your kids experience a similar level of material comfort as this 14-year-old girl.

Children and teenagers can’t imagine life without these comforts.

As such, they subconsciously assume that their life will continue to be comfortable, regardless of how hard they try in school.

I’ve worked with a few unmotivated teenagers who said to me: “I’ve already calculated how much my inheritance will be. I don’t think I’ll need to work a day in my life.”

I was in disbelief when I heard this.

It was almost as if these students were wishing death upon their parents so they could get their inheritance!

But it just goes to show that many young people assume they won’t need to work hard to maintain their current standard of living.

Because they’ve grown up with so much, they don’t feel the need to work hard so they can own even more “nice” things. They already own plenty of nice things!

This means that the desire to achieve more doesn’t motivate them to study hard in the same way it motivated people one or two generations ago.

This is the first reason why telling your kids to study hard so they can have a “better life” isn’t effective.

Reason #2: Students desperately want to feel as if their lives are significant, but studying doesn’t help them to feel this way

Through my interactions with thousands of students around the world, I’ve come to realise that they all want to feel as if they’re contributing.

When they feel as if they’re contributing, they also feel as if their lives are significant. This is an observation that’s backed up by research.

This, in turn, enables them to be more motivated and purpose-driven overall.

What does this have to do with studying hard?

Plenty.

The direct message students receive in school is that they should study hard to get good grades, so that they’ll be able to get a good job, so that they’ll be able to enjoy a comfortable life (which they are probably already enjoying).

The indirect message students receive is that they won’t make a real contribution until after they’ve completed their formal education.

What’s more, schools tend to emphasise achievement, both in academics and other activities.

But what young people crave is a sense that they’re contributing, that their lives are useful to others.

Students say to me, “If I study hard, I get A’s. If I don’t study hard, I get D’s. Either way, nothing about the world really changes.”

This statement bears more truth than parents and educators would like to admit.

It highlights the fact that students want to make an impact, no matter their age.

When they don’t have this sense of significance, they turn to social media and games.

Through these platforms, they can build a following, get “likes”, gain admiration for their looks and abilities, and “level up” their characters.

They get a real sense of significance and achievement in the online world, which they might not be able to get in the real world.

Social media and games are entertaining, but they also serve to help young people meet their real needs in a virtual way.

This is a big reason why millions of teenagers around the world are so addicted to their phones.

In summary, there’s no point telling your kids to study hard for their own good. This is because studying doesn’t give them the sense of significance they so desperately want and need.

Reason #3: The rewards of studying hard are too far in the future

As mentioned earlier, schools tell students the story that they should study hard and do their homework, so they can eventually get a diploma or degree. Thereafter, they can get a well-paying job.

To students, this isn’t an inspiring story.

In addition, for many students, they’re only likely to complete their schooling in 5, 10 or 15 years.

If you ask children or teenagers to wait just one year to get a new phone or game or pet, that already seems like an eternity to them.

But we’re expecting students to work hard in school for the next 5, 10 or 15 years because of the reward they’ll get at the end of the journey?

That’s not going to happen – especially not when young people are growing up in an age of instant gratification.

Even the least motivated students I’ve worked with understand that it’s for their own good that they study hard.

But the benefits that students will reap are too far down the road to keep them motivated.

3 tips to help your kids become self-motivated students

Now that we’ve talked about the three reasons why you shouldn’t tell your kids to study hard for their own good, it’s now time to talk about the alternative approaches that work.

Here are three tips to help your kids develop intrinsic motivation:

Tip #1: Focus more on contribution and less on achievement

One important purpose of education is to equip students with the knowledge and skills so they can make a contribution.

Contribution is the foundation of a meaningful life and of intrinsic motivation.

That’s why it’s especially unfortunate that students rarely think about how they can contribute.

Instead, they’re continually thinking about what they want to – or are “supposed” to – achieve. This leaves them feeling unmotivated and uninspired.

What’s the alternative?

To emphasise contribution above achievement.

Do this in the way you speak to your kids about what goes on in their lives.

Help them to see that there are always ways in which they can help and serve others.

Take practical steps to communicate this message too.

For example, as a family you could get involved in a fortnightly or monthly volunteering activity, such as:

Helping out at a soup kitchen
Tutoring younger children
Doing charity work

I’ve found that students who engage in such activities voluntarily at least a couple of times a month become more aware of their responsibilities toward others.

This helps them to adopt a more positive mindset when it comes to fulfilling their responsibilities as a student.

There’s no point forcing your kids to volunteer if they refuse to, but you can always start by setting a good example for them.

Even at home, there are many ways for your kids to contribute.

For example, they can…

Help out with chores
Cook a simple meal for the family once a week
Plan family celebrations
Suggest the itinerary for an upcoming family vacation

Overall, I encourage you to move away from the idea that students should only focus on their studies.

If students lead balanced lives that are centred on others, their motivation to acquire knowledge for the benefit of others will increase as well.

Tip #2: Focus more on the process and less on the outcome

Instead of asking your kids what grades they’re getting, turn your attention toward the process by asking questions such as:

“What did you try hard at?”
“What risks did you take?”
“What did you fail at?”
“What challenges did you face?”
“What will you do differently next time?”

Share with your kids the challenges you face, and what you’re doing to overcome those challenges.

This approach will remind your kids that the process is what matters, not the outcome.

Emphasise to them that grades are just a form of feedback, and that grades are never an end in themselves.

As the research shows, students who embrace this mindset are more likely to be successful in school and beyond.

Tip #3: Create a culture of learning at home

As a parent, you’re the leader of the home.

Your kids are watching you, so if you lead by example they’ll be more likely to develop a positive learning attitude.

Periodically share with your kids…

What books you’ve been reading (here are my recommendations for the best books for students)
What documentaries you’ve been watching
What courses you’ve been taking
What challenges you’ve been facing in your personal and professional life
What fears you’ve been overcoming
What skills you’ve been learning
What character traits you’ve been developing

If you do this in a non-preachy way, your kids will internalise the message that learning is fun.

More importantly, they’ll understand that getting better is its own reward.

And when they believe this for themselves, they’ll study hard because they’ll enjoy the process of learning and improving.

Conclusion

As we wrap up, take a minute to think about the long-term goals you have for your kids.

These goals are probably aligned with many – if not all – of the following statements:

I want them to be kind
I want them to be courageous
I want them to be generous
I want them to be resilient
I want them to be grateful
I want them to be trustworthy
I want them to be respectful
I want them to be people of integrity
I want them to love learning
I want them to find fulfilment
I want them to be passionate about serving and helping others
I want them to build meaningful relationships
I want them to contribute to their communities
I want them to lead lives of purpose

Yet somewhere along the way, you may have lost sight of these goals. You may have started to focus on what’s urgent, instead of what’s important.

(As a parent myself, I know it’s so easy to!)

It’s natural for parents to want their kids to perform well in school.

But I encourage you to aim higher than just getting your kids to study hard.

By applying Tips #1, #2 and #3, your kids will be more likely to head down the path of becoming people of character, contribution and commitment.

Then you won’t even need to remind them to study hard!

This transformational journey will take effort – both from you and your kids – but it’ll be worth it.

(If you haven’t already done so, make sure to download your free e-book below.)

FREE E-BOOK:

Get your FREE copy of

16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.

The e-book has already been downloaded by many thousands of parents, so don't miss out!