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15 Ways to Overcome Smartphone Addiction

Updated on July 2, 2024 By Daniel Wong 43 Comments

smartphone addiction

Nomophobia is short for “no-mobile-phone phobia.”

It’s the fear of being away from your smartphone.

As you might expect, it’s on the rise.

87% of young adults say their smartphone never leaves their side, while 80% of smartphone users check their phone within 15 minutes of waking up.

Smartphone addiction is becoming a big problem. Here are some signs of addiction:

  • You frequently use your phone at mealtimes.
  • You spend more time on your phone than interacting with others in person.
  • You frequently use your phone when you know you should be doing something else more productive.
  • You frequently use your phone while performing tasks that require focus, such as completing an assignment, writing a report, or driving.
  • You feel uncomfortable when your phone isn’t with you.
  • You sometimes check your phone in the middle of the night.

Are you an addict, or do you know someone who is?

No matter how mild or severe the addiction is, here are 15 ways to help you overcome it.

If you implement the tips, I guarantee that you’ll break this habit.

Here are the 15 tips:

1. Turn off notifications.

Many people get distracted by the endless notifications they receive from Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Spotify, and other apps.

You don’t need to know right away if someone “likes” your status update, follows you on Instagram, or sends you an email.

The more often you check your phone, the more it becomes an ingrained habit. So turn off your notifications and you’ll feel less compelled to use your phone.

The only apps for which you don’t turn off notifications might be your text messaging app and your calendar app. This is because sometimes you’re urgently waiting for a text, or your calendar app notifications keep you on schedule. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Discipline, Success, Time Management

How to Deal With a Defiant Child: 10 Strategies That Work

Updated on May 7, 2020 By Daniel Wong 13 Comments

defiant child

Give yourself a pat on the back.

Parenthood is tough, and you’re doing the best you can.

You thought the worst was over when you no longer had to deal with dirty diapers, multiple middle-of-the-night wakings, and temper tantrums.

But it seems like the worst isn’t over. In the blink of an eye, you now have a defiant child on your hands.

He talks back to you. He disobeys you. He doesn’t pay attention in class. He refuses to do his homework.

Maybe the situation is more serious than that. Maybe he’s hanging out with bad company, or maybe he’s started smoking or drinking.

You’ve tried everything, but things haven’t improved. But rest assured that there’s hope, because the situation can get better.

Having mentored many rebellious, defiant children, I’ve come up with a list of 10 strategies that work…

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1. When you’re angry, walk away temporarily.

It’s reasonable to get angry when your child is rude or disrespectful. But if you’re on the brink of losing control of your emotions, walk away.

Tell your child that you’re angry, and that you’ll address the situation later. This way, you won’t say or do anything you’ll regret later on.

Take 10 to 15 minutes to collect your thoughts and decide on an appropriate response. When you’ve calmed down – by that time, your child will be calmer too – start the discussion afresh.

2. Nag/scold less, and listen more.

Tweens and teens complain to me that their parents just don’t listen to them. When they try to explain their point of view, their parents often respond by saying:

  • “Don’t argue with me.”
  • “I know what’s best for you.”
  • “When I was your age …”
  • “Why are you being so difficult?”
  • “When you grow up, you’ll understand …”

These responses cause children to become even more defiant.

Instead of nagging and scolding, trying really listening. Ask your child about her thoughts and opinions. Ask her how she feels. Ask her what she thinks you can do to be a better parent.

Then listen without judging or criticizing.

Gradually, you’ll get to the root of her rebellious behavior.

For a start, I recommend that you have 30 minutes of no nagging/scolding time every day. This could be the first 30 minutes after your child wakes up, or during dinner.

In this way, you’ll learn to kick your nagging/scolding habit and create a more pleasant home environment. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Communication, Parenting, Relationships

6 Things Happy and Effective Parents Say “No” To

Updated on May 7, 2020 By Daniel Wong 20 Comments

Say no

As a parent, does it sometimes feel like your to-do list is never-ending?

You have so many responsibilities to fulfill, chores to complete, and errands to run.

Through my work, I interact with lots of parents. Sadly, it seems like many parents are overwhelmed by the hustle and bustle of life, and have lost the joy of parenthood.

In this article, I’ll share with you six things to say “no” to as a parent. When you say “no” to these things, I’m confident that you’ll become a happier – and more effective – parent.

Here they are…

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1. Say “no” to perfection

Do you strive for perfection?

Some parents hold on to these ideals – and some even try to achieve them all at once:

  • They should never lose their temper.
  • They should always be cheerful.
  • Their home should be neat and clean all the time.
  • They should be involved in charity work and in serving the community.
  • They should have an active social life.
  • Their children should be well-behaved.
  • Their children should perform well in school.
  • Their children should excel in their co-curricular activities.

Don’t get me wrong. We should set goals in the different areas of our lives. And yes, we should develop ourselves physically, mentally and emotionally.

But we must also accept that we’re not perfect.

Let’s be kind to ourselves. Let’s not hold ourselves to unattainable standards. Let’s say “no” to perfection, and instead say “yes” to progress.

2. Say “no” to over-scheduling your children’s lives

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Happiness, Parenting Tagged With: Popular

Want To Be a Successful Student? Say These 10 Things Every Day

Updated on December 5, 2022 By Daniel Wong 62 Comments

successful student

Do you want to be a successful student?

Or if you’re a parent, do you want that for your children?

There’s no way to avoid the hard work that’s involved.

But becoming a successful student isn’t only about doing more. It’s also about saying the right things.

Here’s why.

By being intentional about the things you say to yourself and others, you’ll cultivate a success mindset. Only then will you find the intrinsic motivation to take consistent action.

And that’s what leads to success.

So, to be a successful student, say these 10 things every day:

1. “My goal is progress, not perfection.”

Nobody’s perfect.

It’s impossible to get perfect grades, to have the perfect body, or to have the perfect social life. If your goal is perfection, you’ll become disappointed and disillusioned.

I’ve worked with students who are perfectionists. Several of them cut their wrists, suffer from eating disorders, or have suicidal thoughts.

That’s scary, I know.

Not all perfectionists have such serious psychological problems, but perfectionism is dangerous. In addition, perfectionists often experience performance anxiety, which affects their grades.

The better alternative is to focus on progress, not perfection. Progress is about developing and improving, just a little bit each day.

To become a successful student, concentrate on the process and try to forget about the outcome. As the research shows, you’ll actually achieve a better outcome using this strategy. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Education, Success, Taking action

7 Ways to Get Your Children to Do Their Homework (No Nagging Required!)

Updated on January 30, 2024 By Daniel Wong 24 Comments

Nagging over homework

Getting your children to do their homework is a struggle, isn’t it?

It seems like everything is more important to them than homework.

Online gaming, social media, watching videos, playing sports… the list goes on.

But it doesn’t have to be a struggle.

In this article, I’ll explain 7 powerful ways to get your children to do their homework – no complaining from them and no nagging from you.

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1. Make it clear that it’s their homework, not yours.

Many parents seem to care more about their children’s homework than their children do. As such, the responsibility shifts from the children to the parents.

But this should not be the case.

After all, it’s your children’s homework, not yours.

Help them to understand that their homework is their responsibility. Feel free to provide help or guidance, but you should never do the work for them.

2. Don’t force them to do their homework.

I can almost hear you saying, “But Daniel, if I don’t force my children to do their homework, they won’t do it at all!”

I know where you’re coming from. But if you implement all the tips in this article, I can close to guarantee that your children will do their homework without coercion.

If you threaten or intimidate them, your parent-child relationship will suffer.

And as the saying goes, “Rules without relationship breeds rebellion.”

I’ve worked with more than 15,000 students so far, and I wholeheartedly agree with that saying.

If you impose rules without nurturing the relationship, sooner or later your children will defy you. Power struggles are unhealthy, whether they’re over food, going to school, or homework.

3. Discuss expectations and consequences with them.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Education, Parenting, Teens Tagged With: Popular

How to Become a Straight-A Student By Following These 7 Rules

Updated on July 14, 2023 By Daniel Wong 254 Comments

Straight-A student

In this article, I’ll explain the seven rules I followed to get all A’s in school and how you can become a straight-A student too.

(I’ve since completed my formal education.)

If you take my advice, you’ll get better grades and lead a more balanced life.

But first, here’s some background information about me, to assure you that I have some credibility in writing this article.

(I don’t say these things to boast, really!)

  • I got 9 A1’s for the GCE O-Levels.
  • I got 4 A’s for the GCE A-Levels, along with 2 “Special” paper Distinctions and 1 Merit.
  • I received a full academic scholarship to study at Duke University, which consistently ranks as one of the best universities in the world. I graduated from Duke in 2011.
  • I did a double major at Duke, and graduated summa cum laude (First Class Honors). My GPA was 3.98/4.0.
  • Throughout my academic career, I never received a grade lower than an A- at a major exam.

Now, just to be clear…

Do I think I’m a super impressive person because of these achievements? No.

Do I think students should be obsessed about grades? No.

Do I think good grades and having a high GPA are the keys to long-term success? No.

But do I think that grades matter to some extent? Yes.

A strong academic record can open doors for you down the road. More importantly, through the process of becoming a straight-A student, you’ll learn values like hard work, discipline and determination.

These values will serve you well, long after you take your last exam.

So go ahead and pursue academic excellence. Just don’t let it become an unhealthy obsession.

Now that we’re clear on that, we’re ready to find out how to become a straight-A student. Read on to discover many study tips and much more!

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Rule #1: Always have a plan.

Getting straight A’s every time requires a good amount of organisation and planning on your part, so that you’re always prepared to do your best.

(a) As the semester progresses, keep track of key dates: tests and exams, project submission deadlines, term breaks, etc.

Enter these dates into a physical or digital calendar.

If you choose to use a physical calendar, I recommend that you get a management diary. This will allow you to see the week’s events at a glance. The inside of the diary should look like this:

Management diary

If you choose to use a digital calendar, I recommend Google Calendar.

(b) Schedule a fixed time every week where you review your upcoming events over the next two months. Mark down when you’ll start preparing for that Math exam, working on that History project, or writing that English paper.

(c) Next, note your commitments for the coming week, e.g. extracurricular activities, family gatherings, extra classes. On your calendar, highlight the blocks of time you’ll have for schoolwork.

This planning process might sound time-consuming, but it’ll typically take just 15 minutes every week.

It’s a wise way to manage your time as a student, because the rest of your week will become far more productive.

You’ll be studying smart, not just hard! Efficient habits like these can help you become a straight-A student.

Rule #2: Be organised.

Ever had trouble finding your notes or assignments when you needed them? You probably ended up wasting precious time looking for them, before you finally asked to borrow them from your friend.

Many students tell me that they keep all their notes and assignments in one big pile, and only sort them out before their exams!

Being organised – it’s easier said than done, I know.

So here are just two key areas to focus on:

1. Filing

(a) Get an accordion folder that looks like this:

Accordion folder

Bring this folder to school every day.

(b) Assign one section in the folder to each of your subjects. In addition, reserve the section at the front of the folder for your incomplete homework across all subjects. Label each section, e.g. Math, Physics, English, Incomplete Homework (All Subjects).

(c) Every day, place your “incoming” notes and assignments in the correct section, as you receive them. There’s no need to create sub-categories for each subject.

(d) Keep one large binder for each subject. The binder would look something like this:

Leave these binders at home.

This is a simple system that takes 15 minutes a week to implement, but it’ll save you many hours in the long run.

2. Homework

(Thanks to Cal Newport for this one. I started using the system described below years ago; it’s roughly based on his system.)

(a) Keep a homework list. Whenever your teacher assigns a new homework set, add it to your list. You can use a notebook for this purpose, or you can use an app on your phone. (I recommend the Google Keep app, but any note-taking app will do.)

Next to each item on your homework list, write the due date in parentheses.

(b) Every day when you get home from school, refer to your homework list. At the same time, open your calendar. Look for blocks of time in your calendar where you’ll be able to complete each item on your homework list. Prioritise the items that have the most urgent deadline.

(c) At the end of each day, look at your calendar to see if there are any assignments (which have already been converted into appointments) that you’d planned to finish, but weren’t able to. Add those appointments to another day that’s well before the due date.

Binder

And that’s how the system works.

I know it seems complicated, but it really isn’t. Try it out for a couple of weeks and you’ll get the hang of it.

Make tweaks to this system if necessary. Everyone is unique, so exactly how to become a straight-A student also depends on your particular strengths and weaknesses.

Rule #3: Take care of your physical health.

Most of the students I work with complain that they’re constantly tired and sleep-deprived.

They can’t focus in class. They daydream. They lack energy and enthusiasm. They frequently fall sick.

Is it possible to be a straight-A student when you’re in this kind of physical state?

Yes… but it’s unlikely.

Physical health is the foundation of academic excellence. To be a straight-A student, you don’t need to have the physique of an Olympic-level athlete. But you do need to take excellent care of your body.

Work on these three areas, and you’ll become a better learner:

1. Sleep

Eight hours of sleep a night is ideal; some people need nine.

If you’re sleeping four, five or six hours a night, you won’t be able to suddenly increase it to eight or more. The jump is too big, and you probably feel like you have too much to do during the day as it is.

So I recommend that you gradually bring forward your bedtime. 10 minutes earlier this week, 20 minutes earlier next week, 30 minutes earlier the week after, and so on, until you get to your target bedtime.

To remind yourself to go to bed on time, set an alarm. When the alarm goes off, start your bedtime routine.

But it’s not just about how much you sleep. How well you sleep matters too.

To improve your sleep quality, use a blue light filter for your phone and your computer.

Next, make your bedroom as dark as possible at night. Put up blackout curtains and remove all light sources.

Turn off all electronic devices in your bedroom before you go to sleep. If, for whatever reason, you need to leave your phone on, turn it to airplane mode. This way, you’ll minimize the cell phone radiation you’re exposed to, and you’ll sleep better.

2. Food

healthy foodIt’s the usual advice:

  • Eat regular meals.
  • Drink 8 to 10 glasses of water a day.
  • Don’t overeat more than once a week.
  • Restrict your intake of processed foods.
  • Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables.
  • Don’t drink sugary drinks.

Do these things and you’ll feel more alert throughout the day. It’s hard to become a straight-A student if you’re always feeling lethargic!

3. Exercise

You’ve heard it before: Exercise at least three times a week, for at least 30 to 45 minutes each time.

Exercise enhances your memory and thinking skills, as proven by research. So make exercise a priority, and you’ll get better grades.

Rule #4: Don’t cram. Instead, use a periodic review system.

People are usually surprised to hear that I’ve never pulled an all-nighter before. As the research shows, cramming is a bad idea.

The more effective approach?

Periodic review, which is also known as a spaced repetition system.

If you periodically review the new information you learn, you’ll move that information from your short-term to your long-term memory. This way, you won’t forget important facts or equations come exam time.

The end result: Less exam stress and anxiety, and a greater likelihood of getting straight A’s.

After much experimentation, I’ve found that the optimal review intervals for most students are as follows:

  • 1 day after learning the new information
  • 3 days after the first review
  • 7 days after the second review
  • 21 days after the third review
  • 30 days after the fourth review
  • 45 days after the fifth review
  • 60 days after the sixth review

By the end of this cycle, the information is almost permanently stored in your long-term memory.

Note that each review is just a review of the key facts and equations, not a full review of the topic. As such, each review only takes 10 to 15 minutes to complete.

This system will save you dozens of hours by maximising your studying efficiency.

Rule #5: Form a homework group.

Group of studentsHere’s why I recommend this.

You’ll run into difficulties while doing your homework, so it’s good to have friends around whom you can turn to for help.

Even if they can’t solve the problem, you can bounce ideas off them. This process can be a fun way to study and motivate everybody in the group.

But if you do your homework alone, you’ll become discouraged more easily when you can’t solve a problem.

Your homework group should consist of three to four people, including you. More people than that and it’ll be distracting.

When it comes to studying, however, you may or may not be better off doing it in a group.

Some students enjoy studying with friends, because there’s a healthy pressure to stay focused. But other students concentrate better when they study alone.

So run your own experiment and decide what works best for you.

Rule #6: Set up a distraction-free study area.

Here are some practical things you can do to make your study session as fruitful as possible:

  • Install and activate the Freedom app on your computer.
  • Turn off your phone, and put it at least 10 feet away from your study area.
  • Keep a clutter-free study area.
  • Decide when’s the best time to study for you. (Click that link to read my tips, so that you can find a study schedule that works for you.)
  • Work in 30- to 45-minute blocks. Time your study sessions to help you stay focused.
  • Give yourself a small reward every time you complete a study session, e.g. eat a fruit, watch a YouTube video, go for a short walk.

On a related note, don’t multitask. You might think that you’re able to watch TV, write an essay, check your Twitter feed, and solve a Math problem – at the same time.

But research shows that multitasking isn’t productive, and may even damage your brain. So focus on one thing at a time, and you’ll be that much closer to becoming a straight-A student.

Rule #7: Clarify your doubts immediately.

Many students wait until a week before the exam to clarify their doubts. This leads to panic and anxiety, a combination that doesn’t result in optimal exam performance.

The alternative is simple: Ask questions. Lots of them.

Getting straight A’s requires that you have a thorough understanding of the material.

Ask your teacherIf you don’t understand a concept, ask your teacher to explain it again. If you feel shy about raising your hand during class, then approach your teacher after class.

Yes, if you do this consistently, your classmates might label you a “teacher’s pet” or a “brown noser.” There’s always a price to pay when you pursue excellence. Accept this fact and move on.

On a related note, go to class every single day.

Yes, your teachers might be boring. Yes, they might tell lame jokes. Yes, they might speak in a monotone.

But nonetheless, they’ll highlight the important areas to focus on, which will save you time and effort down the line. Furthermore, you’ll probably find it easier to make sense of your teachers’ explanation, than to figure things out on your own.

That’s why borrowing your classmate’s notes isn’t a substitute for attending class.

I’m proud to say that throughout my 17 years of formal education, I only ever skipped one class. 🙂 (That class was a review session on a topic that I’d already studied several times.)

The bottom line

Right now, you might be feeling overwhelmed.

I can almost read your mind: “These rules all sound good, Daniel. But there are just so many habits I need to change as a student. I don’t think I can do it.”

Rest assured that I’m not asking you to put everything into practice all at once. I’m asking you to start with just one tiny change.

If you want to start exercising regularly, don’t set some huge, ambitious goal. Instead, start with a 10-minute walk, once a week. After a month, increase it to 15 minutes. The following month, increase it to 20 minutes, and so on. Eventually, you’ll be exercising three times a week, for 30 minutes each time.

The same principle applies to all seven rules. Focus on one rule at a time, and stick with it until it becomes a habit.

It took me more than 10 years to learn the rules, so don’t rush the process.

One other thing…

I mentioned it earlier, but I think it’s worth repeating: Straight A’s on their own don’t mean much. The process of becoming a straight-A student is what counts.

Learning how to become a straight-A student will teach you valuable skills for the future as well.

As you implement these seven rules, you’ll become more disciplined, organised, responsible, and self-motivated. These traits are vital for long-term success.

So start building the foundations of school success and more – one day at a time, one habit at a time, and one rule at a time.

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Filed Under: Education, Goals, Learning, Planning, Success, Time Management Tagged With: Popular

Are You Too Busy? 4 Ways To Slow Down

Updated on May 7, 2020 By Daniel Wong 21 Comments

Too busy

Let me ask you three questions:

  • Do you often feel like your to-do list is never-ending?
  • Do you often sacrifice sleep to get things done?
  • Do you frequently complain about how busy you are?

If you answered “yes” to those questions, you’re busy – probably too busy.

But it doesn’t have to be like this.

The strange reason we ignore the most important things in life

In an era where we’re connected 24/7, the line between work and leisure has become blurred. Even on a Sunday afternoon, you could send that email. You could reply to that text. You could do something “productive.”

But should you?

I face this temptation every time I have a day off. The temptation is even greater because I enjoy my job so much!

And it’s not just me. Through my work with parents – many of whom are busy and stressed out – I know this is a widespread problem.

Author Charles Hummel once observed that the most important things in life are also the most well-mannered. They don’t scream for your attention. They don’t throw a tantrum to force you to take notice.

This explains why we often ignore the things that matter most. They’re just too polite.

In contrast, the urgent things are far less polite. That email from your boss, that phone call, that Facebook message – they’re calling out to you right now. You feel like you can’t ignore it, so you don’t.

That’s how we become busy, by allowing ourselves to be overwhelmed by the urgent.

But there’s a way out. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Balance, Parenting, Perspective, Relationships

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