Is Your Smart Kid Getting Bad Grades? 5 Tips for Parents

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 7 Comments

Dealing with bad grades is frustrating for both you and your children.

You know your kids are intelligent, and you care about their future.

You want them to have academic success now, so they have more opportunities for scholarships, higher education, and employment in the future.

But your well-meaning attempts to motivate your children only result in energy-draining power struggles and strained relationships — not improved performance or the accomplishment of academic goals.

Here’s the problem…

Nagging your kids to study harder is like adding fuel to the fire. It only makes the situation worse.

Fortunately, there’s an easier way to help your child do better in school and become a disciplined student — no annoying arguments or stressful micromanaging required.

In this article, I’ll walk you through how to deal with bad grades and give you valuable tips to improve your child’s motivation today. Let’s dive in.

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Why do students get bad grades?

The first step to helping your children do better in school is understanding why they’re getting bad grades.

Through speaking to and working with more than 20,000 students, I’ve learned there’s almost always an explanation for poor academic performance.

This is why telling your smart kid who’s getting bad grades to “study harder” rarely works. Instead, we must recognise the root problem behind the bad grades and make appropriate adjustments from there.

Each student is unique. Actively listening to and empathising with your child is an effective way to discover why they’re struggling academically and motivate them to do well in school.

Here are some of the most common obstacles to good grades to watch out for:

Distractions

Do your children have a difficult time focusing on their schoolwork? If so, they’re not alone.

Study after study has found that technology like smartphones and laptops can be more harmful than helpful — in some cases distracting nearly 50% of students.

Then there are the external stimuli of the classroom: whispering classmates, cluttered desks, and attention-grabbing posters.

Back at home, potential interruptions like pets, ringing doorbells, and video games make achieving quality study time all the more difficult.

It’s not necessarily that they dislike studying. They simply can’t focus on the material at hand.

If you have an intelligent kid who is getting bad grades, minimising distractions is a considerable stride towards better academic performance.

Pressure to be “perfect”

I have not failed 10,000 times — I’ve successfully found 10,000 ways that will not work. – Thomas Edison

Mistakes are crucial for growth and discovery. Imagine if Thomas Edison had given up because of a fear of failure.

He certainly would not have become one of the most successful inventors of all time!

Yet many students (and adults, too) feel the crushing need to be “perfect”.

If your children fear failure, they might quickly become discouraged the moment they make an error. As a result, they might give up on academic success altogether.

Instead of criticising imperfections, help your children identify and learn from their mistakes. Teach them about failure and how to hold their head up high. That’s how to raise a confident child.

As a result, they’ll be more motivated to stick with schoolwork — and likely earn better grades in the process.

A lack of challenging assignments

Do your children regularly say that school is boring? Do they struggle to complete their daily homework and assignments?

These are signs that your child might be under-challenged in the classroom.

When students don’t feel appropriately challenged, they often disengage with the subject matter.

They might find they don’t need to study or complete assignments to understand the topic, at least at a basic level. As a result, even though they’re smart kids, they still get bad grades.

Check in with your children and their teachers to ensure the course material is at the right difficulty level. Then, make adjustments to challenge your child accordingly.

Exam anxiety

There’s a reason why I wrote the ultimate 58-page guide to test-taking success. Exam anxiety is a common, debilitating issue for students of all ages.

Many smart kids aren’t great test-takers. They want to do well in school. They study hard and pay attention in class. But their exam grades don’t reflect those efforts.

The thing is, performing well on tests is essential for getting good grades. There’s no way around it.

Now, for some good news…

With the right test-taking strategies, many of the students I work with improve their bad grades by 20–30% — many without even studying more.

Tests and exams are a significant part of your child’s academic career. Knowing how to manage exam anxiety and master test-taking skills will pay off for years to come.

Too many obligations

Homework. Extra-curricular activities. Chores and part-time jobs.

Pre-teens and teens often feel overwhelmed because of their demanding schedules. Unlike adults, they’ve yet to master valuable organisational skills.

So to cope with their busy agendas, they sleep less, miss important assignments, or “escape from reality” by playing video games and watching television.

Help your children review their responsibilities to support their mental health. Encourage them to write down due dates and make lists. Show your kids how to plan out their days and weeks.

When students know how to manage the various things going on in their lives, it frees up important mental space for more of what matters most.

How to deal with bad grades

Now that we’ve explored some of the reasons why your children might be getting bad grades, let’s look at five ways you can help them overcome poor academic performance.

1. Set achievable goals

In the words of Antoine de Saint-Exupéry: “A goal without a plan is just a wish.”

Once you stop telling your children to study hard for their own good, ask them what success looks like to them, both inside and outside of the classroom. Get specific.

It’s much easier to arrive at our goals when we know where it is that we’re going.

Actively engaging with your children about their ambitions also puts you on the same page with regard to expectations.

Encourage your kids to outline the action steps they’ll need to take to achieve their goals. If they want to get straight A’s, what routines and study strategies will enable them to do that?

While goals are important, remind your children that it’s not the outcome but the process that matters most.

Yes, grades are an excellent source of feedback. But the growth mindset and habits necessary to achieve straight A’s? Those are what will serve your children far into the future.

2. Communicate with your child’s teachers

You’re not in the classroom with your children. Their teachers are, so have a chat with them.

This isn’t about arguing with the teachers or defending your kid’s intelligence. At the heart of it, open communication is crucial for everyone involved in your child’s academic experience.

Here are some questions that you might ask your child’s teachers:

How is my child doing emotionally and socially?

Can you tell me about any specific situations that have occurred in the clasroom that you’re concerned about?

Are the school assignments adequately challenging my child?

Where is my child seated? Is a front-row seat with fewer distractions a possibility?

What can I do at home to help my child learn more effectively?

By communicating with the teachers, you’ll gain a well-rounded understanding of what’s happening inside the classroom. Pair this knowledge with a healthy teacher-parent relationship and you’ll set the foundation for your child’s academic success.

3. Engage a coach

Sometimes we all need a little support — and that goes for you too as a parent.

Maybe there’s an ongoing conflict between you and your kids about their bad grades. Or perhaps your children ignore your advice, yet listen to similar perspectives when it comes from a fresh voice.

Here’s where a coach comes in.

The right educational coach can help your children achieve their academic goals and lighten your load. As a result, your children get better grades and your relationship with them improves.

I’ve coached hundreds and hundreds of students 1-to-1. I’ve helped them to find their inner motivation and to become successful and happy.

I love what I do, and I’d be thrilled to help coach your teenager to make a positive transformation, too.

Of course, you can also look to teachers, neighbours, or even family friends to coach your child. It’s vital that you find the right coach and mentor for your child!

4. Make studying more fun

Homework will never be able to compete with video games in terms of fun.

But even if your teen hates school, there are ways to make studying a less tedious and more engaging activity. Here are a few ideas:

Encourage your children to reward themselves with short (technology-free) breaks after laser-focused study sessions.

Turn homework into a game. Puzzles, trivia, and flashcards are great. Even teenagers enjoy gamification when it’s age-appropriate.

Create a relaxing space for your children to study. A designated homework area will keep distractions at bay and improve concentration, all while making the study process a more enjoyable one.

5. Give your child control

If you want your children to get better grades, give them control over their academics — with boundaries.

You’ll still be involved in your children’s lives and studies, and you’ll need to work with them to set clear expectations and consequences.

But there will no longer be everyday nagging and wondering how to get your teenagers to do their homework. Your children will understand their responsibilities, and they’ll act accordingly.

With this approach, your children will gain a sense of autonomy. They’ll also perform better in school.

But, perhaps even more importantly, your kids will develop a sense of responsibility and empowerment over their actions and choices.

Are punishments for bad grades effective?

I’ll get right to it…

I don’t believe in punishment for bad grades.

That’s because, as outlined above, there’s typically a reason why kids aren’t doing well in school.

And that reason is rarely that they simply don’t care.

Grounding your children for two months because they failed an exam doesn’t identify the root problem behind the poor academic performance. If anything, it leads to frustrated kids with even less motivation to do well in school.

Instead of imposing consequences for bad grades, I recommend actively listening to your children. Explore what’s contributing to their bad grades, then work to solve the problem together. The tactics outlined in this article will help.

I don’t recommend rewarding your children for good grades, either. Instead, we want to reach a point of intrinsic motivation.

This is a process-oriented approach where self-improvement and contribution are the main rewards, instead of the desired outcome being the main reward.

This approach will help your children throughout their lives, and it will result in them becoming more successful too!

The bottom line

I know it’s not easy to see your smart child getting bad grades.

But instead of micromanaging, nagging, or otherwise adding fuel to the fire, try implementing the tips in this article. Your child will perform better in school and gain essential life skills that are more important than any grade.

And remember, it’s okay to engage a coach when you and your child need it.

Learn more about my 1-to-1 coaching programme for teens (it’s life coaching and much more!) and how I empower students to succeed through science-backed techniques. I’m on a mission to maximise the potential of every student, and I’d love to support your child, too!

(If you haven’t already done so, make sure to download your free e-book below.)

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16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.

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How to Be a Disciplined Student: 25 Proven Strategies That Work

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 27 Comments

Do you find it hard to be disciplined when it comes to studying?

There are so many things competing for your attention.

It’s so much easier to text a friend or watch a video than it is to study. But while doing those things, you’re probably feeling guilty.

You think to yourself, “If only I had more self-control…”

In this article, I have 25 strategies to share to help you be a more disciplined student.

(To learn 5 bonus strategies, download the free PDF below.)

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Enter your email below to get a PDF summary of this 4,000-word article. The PDF contains all the strategies found here, plus 5 exclusive bonus strategies that you’ll only find in the PDF.

1. Change your environment.

When you try to study, you may think it’s all about willpower and self-discipline.

Those things are important, but are you aware that your environment matters even more than self-control?

Some environments make it difficult to study. For example, if there’s someone in the next room playing music or talking loudly, it will be hard for you to get to work.

Even studying in your bedroom can be hard if you’re surrounded by distractions.

In contrast, have you noticed how easy it is to study when you go to a library?

In a library, there’s an atmosphere of quiet concentration – everyone is focused on their work. That’s the kind of atmosphere that will help you to be a productive student.

Of course, you don’t necessarily have to go to the library.

You could go to a different room in your house that you use exclusively for studying. If there’s a place like that in your house, it will remind you of your purpose – you’re there to study.

As such, you’ll get a lot more done.

2. Do one small thing every day that you dislike doing.

Of course, willpower is still an important part of being a disciplined student. After all, studying requires effort and focus.

These are things that don’t come naturally to most of us. You may even find yourself resisting the idea of studying.

This is where willpower comes in.

You can build up your willpower through habits. One way to do this is to perform a small task every day that you dislike doing.

For example, you could try…

Cleaning your room
Making your bed
Taking the stairs instead of the elevator
Taking a cold or lukewarm shower
Reading a book for a few minutes instead of watching videos

When you do one small thing every day that you would prefer not to do, you’ll become more disciplined.

It’s like working out: your willpower “muscle” will get stronger every day.

3. Find an accountability partner.

An accountability partner is someone who holds you to your commitments.

If you commit to studying for 90 minutes each day, your accountability partner will check in to see if you’ve followed through on this.

You’ll do the same for him or her. In other words, you’ll help each other to stay on track when it comes to your academics.

You could find an accountability partner from amongst your friends or your classmates.

There are also websites and apps that will pair you with an accountability partner, such as:

4. Be specific about the tasks that you plan to complete each day.

When you set study goals for each day or each week, make the goals as specific as possible.

This is crucial for two reasons.

Firstly, when you set goals, you’re programming your mind to accomplish a particular task.

Your brain needs details. Without details, your brain cannot form an image of what it is that you’re planning to accomplish. The more details you provide, the more likely it is that you’ll take action.

Secondly, you need specific goals because you need to be able to measure whether you achieved that goal.

For example, “study some chemistry” is a vague goal. You may have read through a few pages of your chemistry textbook, but how much meaningful work did you actually do?

On the other hand, “read Chapters 3 and 4 of the chemistry textbook and create summary notes” is a specific goal.

It’s a goal that’s easy to measure, and at the end of your study session, you’ll know whether you met your target or not.

5. Don’t say negative things about yourself.

Negative self-talk reinforces negative behaviour.

For example, many of my 1-to-1 coaching clients say things like “I’m so lazy”, “I’m a procrastinator”, or “I’m just unmotivated”.

If you say these kinds of things to yourself again and again, you’ll come to believe them. This makes it even more difficult to change your behaviour.

Studies have shown that when your teacher believes you’re capable of great things, you’ll be a much more successful student than if your teacher doesn’t expect much from you.

It’s the same with our own beliefs.

Negative thought patterns lead to low expectations for ourselves. We then act in a way that’s aligned with these low expectations.

So do your best not to say negative things about yourself.

Even if you think negative things about yourself, start by holding your tongue and refusing to say them out loud to others.

6. Realise that there’s never a perfect time to get to work.

One thing that stops students from studying is the belief that it isn’t the perfect time to start.

This leads to procrastination because you keep waiting for the ideal moment to begin your study session.

The truth is, there’s no perfect time to get started. Waiting for that moment to arrive means that you probably won’t get to work until it’s too late.

What should you do instead? Read the next tip to find out.

7. Follow a routine and schedule.

Another way to become a disciplined student is to create a routine.

For example, your routine could be that you do your schoolwork every weekday from 5 p.m. to 6:30 p.m.

Or, if you’re an early riser, your routine might be to do your schoolwork from 5:30 a.m. to 7 a.m. every weekday.

If those routines sound too restrictive to keep to every weekday, then start by following the routine only on Mondays, for instance.

Routines are about making use of the power of habit. Just as bad habits are hard to break, good habits are also hard to break.

When you have a well-established study routine, you won’t need to rely so much on motivation.

Instead of having an internal dialogue about how you should be studying, you’ll simply start your study session because it’s part of your daily routine.

8. Start small and be consistent.

If you’ve had trouble being a disciplined student, it’s best to start with small changes.

For example, you could make a commitment to study for just 15 minutes each day. Doing that every day for just one week will give you more confidence in your ability to be disciplined.

From there, you can step it up to 20 or 30 minutes a day, and so on.

Begin with small changes, notice the feeling of progress, then use that feeling to take it to the next level.

You could even make a smaller commitment. If you feel a lot of resistance to studying, just make a commitment to read the notes for one minute.

The danger of setting big goals at the beginning is that there’s a strong likelihood that you won’t meet them.

You’ll then feel discouraged and your sense of having failed will feed into a self-belief that says, “I can’t do this.”

So start small and build on the progress you make. That’s the way to become a more disciplined student.

9. Develop a cue for you to start each study session.

Productivity experts have identified a loop that exists in virtually every habit:

Stage 1: Cue
Stage 2: Routine
Stage 3: Reward

Let me explain.

The cue signals to your brain that it’s time to begin the routine. And the routine ends in some kind of reward.

In the gym, the reward might be the feeling of satisfaction after a workout. For a study session, the reward might be the feeling of mastering a topic or skill.

The most important part of this sequence is the cue.

The cue is what triggers the habit loop. A cue can be anything you do that you intentionally associate with starting a study session.

For instance, it could be putting on your headphones, making yourself a cup of tea, or putting a sign on your door that lets others know that you’re studying.

When it comes to starting work, I have a cue that consists of 4 parts:

First, I put on my earphones.
Second, I play relaxing instrumental music on my computer.
Third, I write down the specific task I’ll be working on during the work session.
Fourth, I start a timer.

Experiment with finding a cue that will become part of your study “habit loop”.

With enough repetitions, that cue will trigger your study routine and you won’t have to rely on willpower to get to work.

10. Take regular breaks.

If you find it hard to stay on task for long periods of time while studying, try “short-burst” learning.

This approach to learning recognises that our brains are not wired to focus on the same task for extended stretches.

In short-burst learning, you study for 20 to 30 minutes and then take a 5- to 10-minute break. Stop working when the 20 to 30 minutes are up, even if you feel you could keep going.

Repeat this process several times before taking a longer break, e.g. a break for dinner or to exercise.

Many students find that, by using this strategy, they’re able to do higher-quality work. They’re also able to get a greater quantity of work done too.

11. At the end of each study session, give yourself a reward.

As mentioned earlier, habit loops always end in a reward. So it’s important to reward yourself at the end of each study session.

The reward could be something simple, e.g. listening to your favourite music for 5 minutes, doing some stretches, taking a short walk, or eating a healthy snack.

Rewards are a key part of building successful study habits. They’re also a key part of eliminating ineffective study habits.

One reason why rewards are so vital is that they allow you to divide your work into manageable “chunks”.

Each chunk of work is followed by a reward, so you’re less likely to feel overwhelmed by all the work you want to complete.

12. Think about what has and hasn’t been working for you.

Another way to become more disciplined as a student is to be aware of when you are at your most productive.

Answer the following questions:

Which types of environments help you study most efficiently?
What kinds of background noise (if any) help you stay focused?
What time of day do you find it easiest to concentrate?
Do you learn better when studying one subject intensively each day, or do you prefer to study a few different subjects each day?
Do you absorb information better when reading through the material one time first, and then going back over it to take notes? Or does it work better for you to take notes during your first reading?
Is it more productive for you to take notes on a computer, or do you prefer to take handwritten notes in a notebook?

When you discover what your personal preferences are, you can use them to your advantage to develop greater self-discipline.

13. Before you start work, remove every possible distraction.

It might seem obvious, but you can’t expect to study effectively if you are surrounded by distractions.

For example, if you’re working on a computer, deactivate all email and browser notifications.

In addition, here are a couple of apps designed to create a distraction-free work environment:

Freedom (Windows, Mac, iOS, Android, Chrome): Blocks distractions across all your devices simultaneously.
RescueTime (Windows, Mac, iOS, Android): Time management app that includes a distraction-blocker.

Listening to music can help you focus, but if the music has lyrics, it may become a distraction.

I recommend that you listen to instrumental music with no lyrics while doing your schoolwork.

Clutter can also be a distraction. Clear your desk or work area of any mess, such as food wrappers, old notes, scrap paper, etc.

Most importantly, turn your phone off or put it on airplane mode for the duration of your study session. It’d be even better if you put your phone in another room.

You definitely shouldn’t be receiving calls or text messages while studying.

14. If you anticipate an obstacle, create an alternative plan.

There may be occasional events or activities in your life that prevent you from following your usual study schedule.

For example, you may have relatives visiting from out of town or medical appointments to attend. If these events are unavoidable, be sure to plan around them.

When you break your study routine, it can be hard to re-establish it.

So be proactive and make alternative study arrangements ahead of time. That way, you can keep up with your schoolwork despite these interruptions.

Be specific about what you’ll change in your schedule. Write down any upcoming events in your calendar and block out alternative time slots for when you’ll complete your schoolwork.

15. Exercise regularly.

Aerobic exercise will help you to stay focused during your study sessions.

Research shows that exercise results in neurogenesis – the creation of new brain cells.

Exercise also helps to improve the connections between existing brain cells, so that your brain works more efficiently.

Studies have shown that after aerobic exercise, problem-solving, memory and attention all improve.

So aim to exercise every day for at least 20 to 30 minutes. This will enable you to build self-control, increase your sense of well-being, and learn faster.

16. If you feel guilty about your past failures, forgive yourself.

Sometimes regret or shame about the past can prevent you from forming new habits or turning over a new leaf.

That’s why you must free yourself from negative feelings about the past.

Whatever may be haunting you from the past, forgive yourself for it. Understand that you did the best you could at that time.

One way to forgive yourself and move on is to recognise that mistakes are part of learning. Without mistakes, there can’t be long-lasting learning.

Instead of dwelling on the mistake, identify what you learned from it and how it helped you to grow.

When you feel overwhelmed by self-critical thoughts about the past, write them down on a piece of paper. Then, on the other side of the paper, write a compassionate response to each point of self-criticism.

Remember that forgiveness is a powerful healing force, whether you apply it to yourself or others.

17. Write down exactly why you want to be a more disciplined student.

To be a disciplined student, you must have a clear purpose for why you want to study hard.

When you’re clear about your purpose, you’ll find it much easier to make commitments and keep to them.

I recommend that you take a piece of paper and list all the reasons you want to become a disciplined student.

When making your list, try not to focus on the end result, such as “so that I can become a doctor” or “so that I can be a straight-a student”.

There’s nothing wrong with having such goals, but try to focus on how you want to develop as a person. By doing so, you’ll develop deeper motivation and determination.

Here are some examples of things you might put on your list:

I want to challenge myself.
I want to develop more self-control.
I want to expand my mind.
I want to cultivate a spirit of professionalism as a student.
I want to pursue excellence.
I want to make a contribution to society.
I want to build resilience.

The goal is to develop a genuine love for learning, rather than continually thinking about the outcomes you want to achieve.

18. Remember that nobody is disciplined 100% of the time.

We’ve talked a lot about how to be more focused, disciplined and organised. But it’s important to not be obsessed with perfection.

Remember that no one is disciplined all the time.

You might give in to distractions once in a while, or you might find yourself daydreaming on occasion.

This is nothing to be ashamed of because even the most disciplined student sometimes loses concentration.

The key is to consistently get back on track, one study session at a time and one day at a time.

19. Time your work sessions and breaks.

By timing your work sessions and breaks, you’ll become more intentional about how you’re spending your time.

You’ll also take the emphasis off of the work and place it on the effort you’re putting in.

You’re reminding yourself that the act of working for, say, the next 30 minutes is what’s important. Because if you complete enough focused 30-minute study sessions over the course of a day, you’ll finish all the necessary work.

Sometimes, you’ll feel as if you achieved a lot during a work session. Other times, you’ll feel as if you didn’t get that much done.

But that’s not what matters in the long run. If you develop the habit of working at set times for set periods, you’ll become more and more disciplined.

By timing your breaks as well, you won’t take breaks that are far longer than you intended.

20. Join a study group consisting of self-motivated students.

A study group can offer some of the same benefits as having an accountability partner.

When you study in a group, the other students in the group will keep you on task and remind you of your commitments.

Surrounding yourself with self-motivated students will have a positive impact on you. This is because we are shaped by the people we spend time with.

Here are some other benefits of joining a study group:

You can compare class notes. You may have missed certain details while taking notes, but you can make up for this by comparing notes with members of your study group.
You can discuss the material. A study group gives you the opportunity to discuss the course material and think deeply about the concepts you are learning.
It makes studying more fun. Studying can be an isolating experience when it involves long periods of working on your own. But having a study group makes it a social activity that’s more enjoyable.

21. Use technology to help you stay on track.

When you’re studying several different subjects, there may be a lot of tasks, resources, etc. that you need to keep track of.

The good news is that there are many online task management tools to help you stay organised.

Here are some online tools you can try out:

Trello: Helps you organise various projects and tasks easily.
Google Keep: Note-taking app that makes it simple for you to create lists and reminders.
Any.do: Productivity tool that you can use to organise your tasks and lists.
Habitica: Productivity app that uses gamification to help motivate you to achieve your goals.
BlockSite: App that enables you to become more focused by removing online distractions.
Forest: App that turns study sessions into a game, which will encourage you to concentrate for longer.
Tide: App that allows you to set up personalised study sessions, with a wide range of background sounds to choose from.

22. Every day, write down the tasks you’ve completed.

At the end of each day, spend a few moments reviewing what you’ve done that day. Make a note of all the tasks you completed, however small.

If you prefer, you can keep a running list of the tasks you’ve completed as you go along. (This is the method that I use.)

By writing down what you’ve accomplished, you’re reminding yourself that you’re making progress. This positive feeling will spur you on to develop even more self-discipline.

23. One day a week, don’t do any studying at all.

“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”

This is an old adage that contains a piece of timeless wisdom.

When you study hard for extended periods of time, you’re drawing energy and mental resources from a well. This well needs to be replenished periodically.

This is why an essential part of being a disciplined student is having downtime.

You could spend this downtime with your family, doing volunteer work, engaging in religious activities, or going for a walk in nature.

If you set aside one day a week where you don’t do any schoolwork or studying at all, you’ll find that the other days of the week will be more productive.

You’ll also look forward to the one day a week where you get to fully recharge.

24. Simplify your life and make as few decisions every day as possible.

Studies have shown that making decisions is tiring. Making too many decisions each day can lead to “decision fatigue”.

This is why, for example, some highly productive people – like former US President Barack Obama and Facebook co-founder Mark Zuckerberg – limit their clothing choices to one or two basic outfits.

This reduces the number of choices they have to make each day.

A good strategy is to pre-decide things that would otherwise require daily decision-making.

For example, you can pre-decide what you will wear each day by having two alternating outfits. You can also pre-decide what you will eat for lunch each day by creating a fixed menu for each day of the week.

You can even pre-decide your workouts for the week. For instance, I work out the following body parts according to this weekly schedule:

Monday: Glutes + chest
Wednesday: Legs + arms
Saturday: Back + shoulders

By following this routine, I don’t waste time and energy thinking about which body part I should work out each time I exercise.

As you pre-decide as many things as possible, you’ll simplify your life. This will leave you with more energy and willpower to focus on becoming more disciplined.

25. Be a technology minimalist.

We live in a cluttered world, which explains why minimalism is a movement that’s gaining momentum.

Some minimalists go as far as to reduce their possessions to a list of just 100 items.

You don’t need to be that extreme, but I recommend that you at least start by removing the digital clutter in your life.

For example, you can:

Decide to use only one social media app (or none at all)
Delete all apps on your phone that you haven’t used in the past month
Stop checking email on your phone completely
Remove as many of your computer desktop icons and folders as possible
Unsubscribe from email newsletters that you don’t read

Clutter makes it difficult to think clearly, which impedes your progress toward becoming a more self-disciplined student.

Conclusion

I’m confident that the tips in this article will help you to become more disciplined.

Of course, you don’t need to implement all the tips at once.

Just take three or four of these tips and put them into practice. When you see some positive results, come back to the article and implement a few more tips.

Remember to set small goals at the start. As you make progress, you’ll have the confidence to take on bigger goals.

I encourage you to get started today – it’s a journey of personal growth as a student that you won’t regret taking!

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30 Ways to Deal With an Entitled Teenager (And Encourage Gratitude Instead)

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 13 Comments

Note from Daniel: This is a guest post by Veronica Wallace.

Many parents are confused about how to deal with an entitled teenager.

They also fear that their teenager doesn’t appreciate what he or she has.

Entitlement is the opposite of gratitude.

When teenagers feel entitled, they become upset and throw tantrums when they don’t get what they feel they deserve.

But when their lives are filled with gratitude, they express appreciation for the many good things they know they don’t deserve at all.

Here are 30 ways to fight entitlement and develop gratitude in your teenagers.

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How to deal with entitled teenagers

As a parent, there’s a lot you can do to fight entitlement and develop gratitude in your teenagers.

Try some of these strategies with your children and watch their perspectives begin to change.

1. Don’t just make your teens say “please” and “thank you”; explain to them why it’s important to do so sincerely

Many teens say “please” and “thank you” without sincerity.

They say it out of politeness, because their parents have trained them to use these “magic” words.

But warmth and sincerity matter more than politeness.

Encourage your children to say “please” and “thank you”, and explain to them how these words must come from a place of genuine gratitude.

Only when your children mean it each time will they cultivate a spirit of thankfulness.

2. Expect more from your teens

When you don’t expect anything of your children, they’ll expect everything of you.

Continuing to do everything for them is not how to deal with entitled teenagers.

Needing to earn something and being grateful to others for what you’ve earned is key.

Chores and responsibilities are powerful tools that will prevent your children from becoming entitled.

3. Establish boundaries

Creating boundaries is essential so that your teens understand that resources aren’t infinite.

Work with your children to establish boundaries related to spending, responsibilities, electronic devices, etc.

Show your children how you establish boundaries in your own life too.

4. Give your teens privileges that are tied to demonstrated responsibility

As far as possible, tie new privileges to demonstrated responsibility.

This will enable your teens to understand that they’ll reap what they sow.

For example, when your children keep to their curfew timing consistently for one month, their curfew timing could be extended by 15 minutes the following month.

5. Try role-playing with your teens

Teenagers who have not been practising gratitude may have a hard time expressing it when the opportunity presents itself.

To deal with entitled teenagers, help them learn how and when to express gratitude.

Role-playing scenarios in which your children could express gratitude will help them to turn gratitude into a habit.

6. Reduce the abundance in your home

One of my biggest tips for parenting teens and tackling entitlement is to remove abundance at home.

Teens who have less tend to be more grateful for what they have.

That’s why you don’t see many picky eaters around when food is scarce.

Be careful not to spoil your children by giving them whatever they want – a lack of abundance will help them to be grateful for what they have.

Reducing the abundance in your home will mean that you’ll need to make sacrifices too. But these sacrifices will be worth it when you observe your children becoming less entitled.

7. Explain the difference between wants and needs

Your children might want ice cream, but they need to eat balanced meals if they want to grow up healthy.

Help them understand the difference between wants and needs in various areas of life. As time goes by, they’ll be more appreciative whenever they get something they want (but don’t need).

8. Believe that your teens can change

Many parents have already decided that their teens are spoiled and entitled.

So every instance where their children behave in a way that seems mildly entitled confirms this belief.

Over time, these parents give up trying to fight the teenage entitlement mentality.

If you want your children to become more grateful, you must believe that change is possible.

Keep your eyes open to observe any progress that your children are making as you apply the tips in this article.

9. Model the desired behaviour for your teens

Thinking about how to deal with teenage attitude and entitled behaviour includes analysing your own behaviour.

Like it or not, your children will emulate you.

They’ll also be quick to point it out if they think you’re being hypocritical.

So take a good look in the mirror to evaluate the levels of entitlement vs. gratitude in your own life.

How often do you act entitled? How often do you express gratitude? Do you complain a lot?

Change your own behaviour and attitude, and you’ll see a change in your children.

10. Encourage your teens to keep a journal

Journalling is an excellent way to learn about your feelings and cultivate mindfulness.

Encourage your children to journal every day or week about the things they’re grateful for and the life lessons they’re learning.

Of course, if you encourage your children to do this, then you should do it too!

11. Distinguish between owed and given

Teenagers may think that they’re owed everything.

Have conversations with your teens about what they deserve and what they’ve received because of the love and generosity of others.

12. Serve others as a family

Serving others is one of the best ways to deal with entitled teenagers and children.

Be the kind of person who goes out of his or her way to help others out. Encourage your children to do the same.

Talk about why serving others is a crucial part of life, and serve others together as a family.

As Sir Winston Churchill once said, “We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.”

13. Perform random acts of kindness

Do something nice for a family member, a friend, or even a stranger.

Get your teens involved in performing these random acts of kindness too.

It’s impossible for your children to become kinder without also becoming less entitled.

If you’re not used to performing such acts of kindness, it will feel strange at the start. So be sure to begin by taking tiny steps!

14. Talk about money and how much things cost

Teens sometimes think ATMs are magical machines that dispense money.

Providing opportunities to learn about the value of money is essential when dealing with entitled teenagers.

Explain to your children how much various things cost, e.g. groceries, electronic devices, restaurant meals, cars, houses.

Talk to them about the dangers of accumulating credit card debt, and explain to them how you’re being intentional about living within your means.

Teach them to ask the question, “Can I afford it?” But teach them that it’s even more important to ask the question, “Do I need it?”

After all, just because we can afford something doesn’t mean that we need to have it.

15. Create gratitude rituals

When dealing with entitled teenagers, put more opportunities in place to practise gratitude.

For example, once or twice a week before a family meal, you can go around the table and ask every family member to share one thing they’re thankful for.

16. Don’t lecture or nag your teens about gratitude

Instead of lecturing or nagging, have casual family discussions about gratitude whenever relevant situations arise.

Gratitude is a value that must be both taught and “caught” – caught through the day-to-day interactions within the family.

17. Talk about things in the past that you’re grateful for

It’s helpful if you occasionally talk to your children about things in the past that you’re thankful for – even things that seemed bad at the time.

For example, you might be grateful that you didn’t get your initial dream job, because the setback propelled you down an even more meaningful career path.

There are even cancer patients who talk about receiving the “gift” of cancer.

They call it a gift because it taught them to live more intentionally and purposefully.

18. Teach your teens to practise mindfulness

Mindfulness allows your teens to fully experience their own emotions and to become more self-aware.

In turn, this fosters gratitude.

Performing deep breathing exercises and focusing on doing just one activity at a time (e.g. eating a meal alone without doing anything else like using your phone) can help to develop the mindfulness habit.

19. Ask your teens open-ended questions

To better understand how and what your children are feeling, ask them open-ended questions.

This will enable you to have meaningful discussions with them about what gratitude is and how to cultivate it.

20. Develop a family culture of empathy

Building empathy is a great way to deal with entitled teenagers.

Help your children to put themselves in other people’s shoes.

Ask them about why they think other people reacted the way they did in various situations.

The more often they try to empathise with others, the better they’ll understand the feelings of others.

Empathy and compassion are wonderful tools that enable gratitude to flourish.

21. Limit screen time

When teenagers indulge in screen time, their focus is largely on themselves.

During screen time, these are the typical questions that they’re asking themselves:

What fun do I want to have?
Which apps are the most entertaining to me?
What videos do I want to watch?
What should I post on social media?
Which games do I feel like playing?

Of course, screen time isn’t all bad. But you can see how it promotes self-centred thinking.

In contrast, empathy, compassion and gratitude are focused on others.

So it’s important that you have a family discussion about setting limits for screen time for everyone in the family – including you!

If you show that you’re intentional about limiting your own screen time, your children will be more open to having limits on their screen time too.

22. Help your teens to develop a growth mindset

A growth mindset is one that’s focused on the process and on learning from both your successes and failures.

A growth mindset for students is instrumental in developing the right kind of motivation. As your children begin to see every challenge as an opportunity, they’ll become more thankful for the obstacles in their path.

23. Be charitable

Donate to charities and volunteer on a regular basis.

Involve your teens in these activities, so that they’ll be exposed to the many needs that exist in society.

As a result, they’ll become more compassionate and less entitled.

24. Live a life of love

Be a person who is always showing love toward others.

Gratitude is a key component of love, and vice versa. One can’t exist fully without the other.

In practical ways, show love and concern for your family, your friends, and strangers.

The more love your family shows toward others, the more gratitude you and your children will express.

25. Empower your teens to become independent

When your teens are dependent on you for almost everything, they’ll feel entitled to everything they get.

If teens are too dependent on their parents, they feel powerless yet entitled. This is a bad combination.

Let go of the reins bit by bit.

Allow your children to gain confidence as they make more decisions, and take full responsibility for those decisions.

The more problem-solving abilities they develop and the more mature they become, the more they’ll appreciate the resources they have access to.

26. Do things that require more time and effort, and less money

When your teens see you spending money, it can often seem too easy to them.

By tapping a few times on your phone or swiping your credit card at a store – just like that, you’ve made a purchase.

Your children don’t see the hard work that went into earning the money that you’re spending.

This disconnect subconsciously breeds a sense of entitlement in your children.

Entitled teenagers continue to expect rewards even when they’ve only put in minimal effort.

That’s why it’s better to do things that require more time and effort, and less money, whenever possible.

When your children see the effort that goes into organising a camping trip or helping a neighbour move to a new home, they’ll understand the value of hard work.

Over time, as they develop a stronger work ethic, they’ll become more grateful.

After all, have you ever met someone with a strong work ethic and a positive attitude who was also entitled?

27. Find a mentor for your teens

It can sometimes be difficult to discuss issues related to entitlement and gratitude with your teens.

That’s why it’s beneficial for your teens to have a mentor.

Teenagers are far more likely to thrive when they have a mentor or coach.

A mentor can help your children to reflect on their weaknesses and develop a more holistic perspective. This is essential in order for them to mature and grow.

28. Write thank-you notes

Nowadays, it’s rare for people to send handwritten thank-you notes.

Be one of those people who does it. It’s a thoughtful gesture that doesn’t take much time.

Encourage your children to write thank-you notes to their teachers and friends at the end of each semester, or whenever the opportunity arises.

29. Experiment

There are many recommendations listed in this article.

Try out a few of these methods at a time and see which ones work best for you and your family.

The more consistent you are about experimenting with the tips, the greater success you’ll see.

30. Start small

Don’t try to implement all of these tips at once – that would be too overwhelming for both you and your teens.

Start small and be patient. Write down and track exactly which tips you’re implementing each week.

Day by day, you’ll observe positive changes in your children as you develop a family culture of gratitude.

Encouraging gratitude in entitled teens is an ongoing process

Cultivating a spirit of gratitude is a lifelong process.

There are times when all of us could be more grateful and less entitled.

Through the process of teaching your teens about gratitude, you’ll sometimes feel frustrated.

When this happens, remind yourself of how thankful you are to be a parent, to have the daily opportunity to lead and empower your children.

Being a parent is challenging, but it’s also a privilege.

This is a privilege to be grateful for! 🙂

Veronica Wallace is a childhood educator, writer and blogging enthusiast. She loves applying her knowledge of writing to new content pieces.

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How to Be Successful in School: 40 Practical Tips for Students

Updated on June 6, 2023 By Daniel Wong 175 Comments

Do you think of yourself as a smart student?

Probably not.

If you’re like most students, you probably feel as if you take some time to grasp new concepts.

Or that you don’t perform up to expectations because of exam stress.

I know…

It seems as if success at school comes to some students naturally. These students always get good grades, no matter what else is going on in their personal lives or extracurricular activities.

I was a straight-A student throughout my academic career, and I was obsessed with how to do better in school.

But I’ll be the first one to say that grades aren’t everything. Grades are only one part of your education.

I now realise that successful students aren’t necessarily more intelligent than other students. They’re just more disciplined and focused, and they’ve developed winning study habits.

So if you don’t feel as if you’re a smart student, don’t worry.

In this article, I’m going to share with you how to be successful in school, even if you don’t think of yourself as a top student.

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1. Rely on systems, not motivation

How can students do better in school? By being methodical and systematic, instead of waiting to feel motivated.

Students who do well in school don’t wait until they’re in the mood to do a focused study session before they get down to work.

Neither do they wait until they feel motivated before they start preparing for an exam.

Instead, successful students rely on systems to ensure that they get the work done, even when they don’t feel like it.

(Keep on reading to find out what some of these systems are.)

2. Review any new information you’ve learned on the same day

This daily review won’t take long to complete, but it’s a vital step that ensures you stay on top of the material.

Applying this tip will also help you to move the information to your long-term memory more quickly.

3. Write everything down

To be an effective student, write everything down.

This includes homework to be completed, test and exam dates, project deadlines, competition dates, school and family events, etc.

Don’t assume that you’ll be able to remember anything; write it all down to stay organised.

This tip might sound extreme, but life only gets busier as you get older.

Good organisational skills are the basis for achieving success at school and beyond. So this tip will serve you well for the rest of your life.

4. Create a rough weekly schedule

It’s impossible to follow a schedule down to the minute, but it’s still helpful to create a schedule.

Write down your rough weekly schedule based on your recurring commitments, e.g. school, extracurricular activities, family and social events, religious activities.

Then block out regular time each week for homework and studying.

For example, your rough weekly schedule might state that you’ll do work on:

Monday, Wednesday and Friday: 7pm to 9:30pm
Tuesday and Thursday: 4pm to 7pm
Saturday and Sunday: 2pm to 5pm

5. Get rid of distractions before they become distractions

The biggest obstacle to doing well in school is distractions.

To overcome distractions, you can’t only depend on willpower. Few of us have the willpower necessary to fight off all the distractions that surround us in this digital era.

Here are some ways to eliminate distractions before they become distractions:

Turn off notifications on your phone/tablet
Delete all the apps that distract you
Put your phone/tablet in another room before you start work
Set a really, really long password to unlock your phone/tablet
Restrict your Internet access
Have only one tab open in your browser at any one time
Find an accountability partner as you make these changes

6. Develop good posture

Good posture improves your mood, and also enhances your memory and learning.

So sit up straight, pull your shoulders back, and lift up your chin – and you’ll perform better in school.

For more tips on improving your posture, check out this detailed article.

7. Don’t multitask

It’s a fact: There’s no such thing as multitasking.

Whenever you’re multitasking, you’re actually just switching between tasks. This reduces your studying efficiency.

So don’t multitask when you’re studying or doing your homework. Instead, focus on one task at a time, and you’ll find that you get your homework done faster.

8. Cultivate the belief that intelligence isn’t a fixed trait

Research has proven that students who believe that they can become smarter actually do become smarter.

Belief is that powerful.

In other words, intelligence is a trait that you can develop over time.

Don’t ever label yourself as “dumb” or “not academically inclined”, because with the right mindset you can become more intelligent.

How can you do better in school? It starts with believing that you can. By telling yourself that you’re incompetent before you even try, you’ve already lost the battle.

Develop a can-do attitude and your grades will naturally improve.

9. Work in short blocks of time

I’ve found that most students can’t maintain a high level of focus for more than 45 minutes at a go.

As such, I generally recommend working in 30- to 45-minute blocks, followed by a 5- to 10-minute break.

Working in shorter blocks of time is more effective for the majority of students, rather than struggling to focus for a couple of hours straight.

10. Exercise regularly

Regular exercise helps you to remember information better, enhances your concentration, and makes you more creative.

This is in addition to the other health benefits of exercise.

What does this mean for students who want to be successful in school?

Make exercise a fixed part of your weekly routine. Exercise three to four times a week, for at least 20 to 30 minutes each time.

11. Be organised

Students who aren’t organised end up wasting precious time looking for items or notes, or doing last-minute work they forgot about.

Here are some ways to become more organised:

Set a daily reminder to check if there’s any homework due the following day
Set reminders to start preparing for tests and exams
Use the MyStudyLife app
Use a planner or Google Calendar
Clear your desk at the end of every day
Use an app like Google Keep to do a “brain dump”

12. Break big tasks into smaller ones

Big tasks seem complicated and overwhelming, which is why many students procrastinate.

Break every big task down into smaller tasks. For instance, instead of deciding to work on your history paper, you might break the task down into the following smaller tasks:

Read Chapter 3 (notes)
Read Chapter 3 (textbook)
Do online research (5 to 10 articles)
Develop thesis statement
Write outline
Write introduction
Write main paragraph #1
Write main paragraph #2
Write main paragraph #3
Write main paragraph #4
Write main paragraph #5
Write conclusion
Proofread and edit

When you work on the history paper, focus on completing one task at a time. This will make it less likely that you’ll procrastinate.

13. Get at least 8 hours of sleep every night

Students who perform well are effective learners. As the research shows, sleep is a vital part of becoming an effective learner.

Sleep boosts memory and enhances learning. So go to bed at roughly the same time every day, and make it a priority to get 8 hours of sleep a night.

If you do this, I’m sure you’ll see an improvement in your academic performance.

Pulling all-nighters definitely isn’t how to do better in school. It might enable you to get some last-minute work done.

But over time, your performance in school will decline.

14. Create a conducive studying environment

Here are some tips to do this:

Tidy your desk daily
Ensure that you have all the stationery, notebooks, etc. that you need
Ensure that the lighting in the room is suitable
Use earplugs to block out noise if necessary
Put up one or two motivational quotes at your study area
Get a comfortable chair
Remove all distractions from the room

15. Keep track of important dates, deadlines, etc.

This is related to Tip #3, but it’s more specific.

I’ve worked with many students who try to keep track of important dates by storing them in their brains.

Needless to say, these students occasionally forget about upcoming tests or deadlines. This results in panic – and low-quality work too.

Use Google Calendar or Google Keep (an old-fashioned planner works too) to keep track of important dates, and you’ll become a more effective student.

16. Take notes during class

I’m always surprised by how many students tell me that they don’t take notes in class. This is despite the fact that taking notes is vital to your success at school.

It’s important to take notes in class because it helps you to pay attention and to learn the concepts better.

I prefer taking notes in a linear, sequential manner. But there are several other note-taking systems that you can learn about here.

17. Ask lots of questions

Asking your friends and teachers questions about what you’re learning is a great way to stay engaged. It also ensures that you understand the new material.

Don’t be afraid of asking silly questions. Besides, if you pay attention in class, your questions will likely be logical and insightful.

18. Eat healthily

Research shows that the better your nutrition, the better your brain function.

And the better your brain function, the better your performance in school.

Here are some basic tips to eat more healthily:

Eat vegetables and fruit
Eat meat and fish
Eat eggs
Eat nuts
Avoid processed foods
Avoid sugar
Avoid trans fats
Avoid artificial sweeteners
Drink plenty of water
Avoid sugary beverages

So, if you’re wondering how to do well in school, one thing you can do right away is to change your diet.

19. Do consistent work

Don’t do last-minute work, and don’t cram for exams.

Easier said than done, I know.

But if you do consistent work, you won’t even need to study that hard for your final exams. You’ll naturally do better in school because you’ll retain the information more effectively.

(By applying the rest of the tips in this article, you should be well on your way to doing consistent work.)

20. Manage your thoughts and emotions

Students who lose focus or motivation are typically discouraged. They’re often discouraged because they feel as if they won’t do well academically, so they lose hope.

The question you probably still have on your mind is…

How to be a good student?

By managing your thoughts and emotions effectively – especially when faced with disappointment.

To do so, take a step back and ask yourself the following questions:

Are these thoughts true?
Are these thoughts helpful?
Am I taking things too personally?
How can I view the situation more positively?
Do I need to forgive the other person?
Do I need to forgive myself?
How can I be more compassionate toward myself?
What productive actions can I take to improve the situation?

Through answering these questions, you’ll adopt a more positive and resilient mindset.

21. Take a few minutes to prepare for each class

As Benjamin Franklin once said, “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.”

Preparing for class is something every student should do.

Every night, think about the classes that you’ll be having the following day in school.

Take a few minutes to skim the textbook or notes, so that you’ll be familiar with what your teacher will cover the next day.

In addition, do a quick recap of the previous topic, because the new topic will likely build on what you’ve already learned.

This process won’t take long, but it will pay off in the long run.

22. Give yourself rewards

To keep yourself motivated, give yourself small rewards whenever possible.

For example, you might decide that after 45 minutes of work, you’ll reward yourself with a 5-minute YouTube video.

Or if you enjoy exercising, you might decide that after you finish your math and science homework, you’ll get to do a 30-minute workout.

Rewards are a simple way to encourage you to get to work, even when you don’t feel like it. That’s a useful strategy for how to do better in school.

23. Manage your stress

Students who don’t manage their stress well are more likely to experience performance anxiety and get worse grades.

To manage your stress levels:

Perform deep breathing exercises
Listen to music
Spend time with friends on a regular basis
Exercise
Read a book
Keep a gratitude journal
Take a few minutes to reflect at the end of each day

24. Do and submit your homework on time

This tip might sound like common sense, but a large proportion of the students I work with don’t do this.

Make it a non-negotiable to submit your homework on time, and give a good effort for each assignment.

This is the foundation of how to be a good student.

25. Challenge yourself

Taking it one step further, don’t just do the assigned homework.

Challenge yourself and do extra questions that require deep thinking. Look for online resources. Learn information that’s outside the syllabus.

This will help you to see the wonder and beauty in all that you’re learning. You’ll also be reminded that getting better is its own reward.

26. Make time to relax

Doing well in school isn’t about getting good grades and outperforming your classmates. It’s about leading a balanced life that’s focused on contributing to others.

To lead a balanced life, it’s important to set aside time for relaxation.

Block out time for relaxation in your weekly schedule to ensure that you don’t burn out.

27. Be consistent about your study time

This is a follow-up to Tip #4. In addition to having a regular weekly schedule that you stick to, it’s important to be consistent about your study time.

The more consistent you are, the less likely it is that you’ll need to feel “inspired” to get down to work.

On the contrary, you’ll get down to work out of habit and routine. This is crucial if you want to manage your time as a student effectively.

28. Have a specific plan or objective for each study session

Many students share with me that their mindset toward studying is that they’ll “study hard”. This might sound good, but it actually means that they don’t have a specific objective or plan.

They’re interested in attaining success at school and getting good grades, but they’re not clear about what positive actions they’re going to take in particular.

This vague approach isn’t the one that effective students take toward their academics.

For each study session, set a clear objective as to what you intend to achieve. This might be to read through a set of notes thoroughly or complete 30 multiple-choice questions.

29. Use memory techniques

Memory techniques are powerful ways to learn information more quickly.

Here are some of the most useful ones I’ve come across:

30. Test yourself periodically

Don’t assume that just because you’ve read the notes and looked through some examples that you understand the material well.

For all you know, you might have been daydreaming during those study sessions.

What else should you do to be a good student, if reading your notes doesn’t guarantee that you’ll get better grades?

Test yourself periodically. Do plenty of practice questions and keep a list of the mistakes you’ve made, so that you won’t repeat those mistakes in the exam.

31. Take practice exams under exam conditions

It isn’t practical to do too many practice exams under exam conditions, because it’s time-consuming.

But before every exam, I recommend that you do at least two to three practice exams under exam conditions.

This will help you to prepare adequately, and will train you to deal with the time pressure of the exam too.

32. Start studying for tests at least one to two weeks in advance

Cramming for tests is always a bad idea. It won’t enable you to achieve long-term success at school.

I recommend that you set a reminder on your phone (or make a note in your planner) one to two weeks before every scheduled test, so that you’ll start preparing for the test.

For big exams, I recommend that you start studying four weeks in advance or more.

This study tip is a vital one for students to implement.

33. Find ways to help others and contribute

Students often lose motivation when they focus too much on achievement and too little on contribution.

After all, the aim of education is to become equipped with skills and knowledge so that you can help others.

When students lose sight of this, they sometimes feel as if school is meaningless.

To keep things in perspective, find simple ways to contribute in your capacity as a student, e.g. volunteering, fundraising, solving problems in your school, serving the underprivileged.

These types of activities will teach you to have a heart of service and humility. They’ll empower you as you discover how to do better in school and life.

34. Develop a sense of purpose

Few students can maintain a consistent level of concentration and drive if they lack a sense of purpose.

If students feel as if their school life is just about striving to get straight A’s, they will likely run out of steam.

How can you develop a sense of purpose?

Think about…

What values you want to live by
What long-term goals would be meaningful to you
How you’d like to contribute to the good of others
What your duties and responsibilities are
What relationships you’d like to nurture
What kind of person you’d like to become

As you reflect on these aspects of your life, you’ll have a clearer idea about how to do well in school in light of the purpose you’re living out.

This clarity will help you to be more successful in school.

35. Don’t blame others

The key to developing resilience is to take full responsibility for your life.

This means that you refuse to blame others for anything that’s going on in your life.

No blaming your teachers, parents or friends.

No blaming the school principal or the government.

No playing the victim.

When you take this approach toward your student life, you’ll see that there’s always something you can do to improve the situation.

36. Hang out with people who are motivated and focused

No matter how much we’d like to think that we’re immune to peer pressure, we’re most definitely not.

Peer pressure affects people of all ages. This means that we must be intentional about the people we surround ourselves with.

Do you hang out with people who are pessimistic?

Are they always complaining?

Do they pursue excellence, or do they try to find shortcuts?

Spend time with people who are positive, motivated, focused, kind, generous and hardworking. You’ll find yourself developing those traits as the days and weeks go by.

As a result, you’ll become more successful in school.

37. Analyse the mistakes you make in tests and exams

It might not be a pleasant experience, but I encourage you to go through every mistake you make in tests and exams.

Analyse why you made each mistake. Ask yourself questions such as:

Was the mistake due to carelessness?
Did I forget a key fact?
Did I have a poor understanding of a certain concept?
How can I make certain that I won’t repeat the mistake?
What do I need to do to be better prepared for future tests?

This analysis will help you to make continual progress in your academics.

38. Pre-commit to specific behaviours and habits

Pre-commitment is a strategy in which you commit in advance to certain desirable behaviours. This way, you won’t be tempted to do otherwise in the future.

Here are some examples:

Use the StayFocusd Chrome extension to restrict the amount of time you spend on certain websites
Ask your parents to change the password on your tablet, so that every time you want to use your tablet you need them to unlock it
Tell a friend that you’ll delete all your social media apps on your phone by the end of the day – if not, you’ll give your friend $100

Pre-commitment is a powerful strategy that all good students use.

39. Keep a “done” list

Just as important as keeping a to-do list is keeping a “done” list.

Write down all the things you’ve accomplished at the end of each day. This will help to remind you that you’ve indeed been productive, even if you don’t feel so.

In the long run, keeping a “done” list will help you to stay positive and motivated.

40. Don’t try to remember to do things; make it impossible to forget

Some examples of these “things” might be:

Homework
Projects
Studying for tests
Bringing your textbook to school
Bringing your water bottle to school
Bringing your calculator into the exam hall for a math exam

The list goes on.

To be successful in school, don’t just try to remember to do these things. Rather, make it impossible to forget to do these things.

There’s a huge difference between these two approaches.

To make it impossible to forget to do something, you might need to stick a Post-it note on the front door. Or set an alarm (or two alarms). Or create a daily reminder to check your calendar or planner.

As you adopt this approach, you’ll become a more reliable and effective student!

Conclusion

If you apply all the tips in this article, it’s almost impossible that you won’t become a better student. (To get 10 more bonus tips, enter your email in the box at the end of this article.)

Of course, it’s neither reasonable nor practical to expect you to implement all the tips at once.

After all, the road to success is built one step at a time.

Success – as a student and in life in general – is about daily choices and habits.

Implement one or two tips in the coming week, and get some like-minded friends to join you.

As you gain momentum, implement more tips as the weeks go by. (You can try applying my rules for success in life too.)

You’ll soon find that you’re becoming a more successful student who’s leading a more balanced life too.

Wishing you all the best – I’m excited about this journey that you’re about to embark on!

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What to Do If Your Teen Hates School: 15 Strategies That Work

Updated on July 14, 2025 By Daniel Wong 98 Comments

“My teenager hates school, and I don’t know what I should do!”

Maybe this describes the situation you’re in.

Does your teen say that he hates school?

Does he complain about his teachers and classmates, and about how “useless” school is?

Or maybe your teen complains that the people in school are “fake”, and that it’s hard to make friends?

If so, I’m sure you feel concerned.

You want to help your teen, but whatever you’ve tried so far hasn’t worked.

Don’t worry.

Given that I work with students — the majority of whom are teens — for a living, I know how common it is for teens to dislike school.

Nonetheless, this is still an issue that must be addressed.

There are many powerful strategies you can employ to help the situation. In this article, I’ll outline 15 of them.

(Download the free bonus below to learn five more strategies.)

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Why do teens hate school?

As a parent and as a coach who works with teenagers, I understand how challenging it can be to see your child hating school.

You don’t want your teens to be miserable, but you also want what’s best for them in the long term.

While academics aren’t everything, doing well in school does lead to more opportunities for scholarships, higher education, and employment.

Here’s the thing…

Before you can motivate your teenagers to enjoy school, you must understand why they dislike school in the first place.

For many students, school is like a roller coaster — full of nerve-racking lows and exhilarating highs. Threatening or lecturing your teens won’t help them navigate the heart-pounding ride.

Instead, let’s explore a few answers to the all-important question: “Why do teens hate school?”

They feel like they have no control over their lives

The teenage years are a time when they’re discovering their identity: their motivations, interests, values, and goals.

Teenagers are also growing up, which means that they’re developing their independence.

So, your teens want to feel in control of their lives.

But the traditional school setting typically gives them few opportunities to exert this control, outside of setting academic goals.

Most teenagers have few options with regard to which classes they’re taking, so they don’t get to study the topics that genuinely interest them.

Add jam-packed schedules and strict rules to the mix, and it’s no wonder that teens find school frustrating and sometimes pointless.

If your teen hates school, it could be a lack of autonomy that’s driving this feeling of resentment.

They feel overwhelmed and stressed

Waking up early. High-pressure extracurriculars. Exams, homework, and projects.

Teens today are more stressed than ever before. In fact, nearly one-third of teens report feeling overwhelmed, a figure on par with adult stress levels.

These statistics are a cause for concern.

As American Psychological Association CEO Norman B. Anderson, PhD says:

It is alarming that the teen stress experience is so similar to that of adults. It is even more concerning that they seem to underestimate the potential impact that stress has on their physical and mental health.

(If you’re concerned about your teen’s mental well-being, here are seven tips to support your child’s mental health.)

Help your teenager to manage stress effectively, and you might find that you no longer say that “my teenager hates school”.

They feel that school is just about getting good grades

Does your teen feel pressured to achieve outstanding grades?

Most students do. Yet academic success is about so much more than report cards and grades.

It’s important to show your teen that it’s not the outcome but the process that matters most.

Sure, it feels good to get excellent grades. But what’s more important are the valuable life skills your child gains along the way, e.g. critical thinking, organisation, planning, self-management.

If your teens feel the only purpose of school is to memorise facts and equations, they’ll struggle to find joy in the learning process.

They’re being bullied

Many parents don’t know when their teen is being bullied.

If you keep saying to yourself that “my teen hates school”, check in with your child to ensure that he or she isn’t being bullied.

Just because your teen hasn’t mentioned the issue doesn’t mean it isn’t happening.

If there’s bullying going on, don’t blame yourself. Instead, support your child and empathise with him or her as you find a solution together.

What to do if your child hates school

As we’ve seen, there’s typically a reason why your child doesn’t enjoy school.

Now, let’s explore 15 proven strategies that will help anytime you’re wondering what to do about your child hating school:

1. Don’t assume that your teen is being defiant or rebellious

As children enter the teenage years, they crave autonomy. They’re also forming their identity, all while their bodies and brains are going through drastic changes.

As such, teens often exhibit rebellious behaviour.

But don’t assume that this is the only reason your teen tells you she hates school.

Many times, there are other issues at play, e.g., feeling overwhelmed, struggling to keep up with schoolwork, bullying, fear of exams.

2. Think about what you’ve been doing that may have contributed to the problem

Here are some questions to ask yourself when you find yourself saying “my teenager hates school”:

Do I frequently nag my teen?
Do I always talk about school-related topics?
Do I talk as if my teen’s hobbies are a waste of time, or that they’re merely a distraction from her schoolwork?
Do I compare my teen with her friends, cousins or siblings?
Do I overemphasise the importance of performing well in school?
Do I frequently force or coerce my teen into doing schoolwork?
Do I sign my teen up for classes or programmes without first seeking her consent?

On their own, none of these behaviours will result in you having a disrespectful teenager who hates school.

But in combination, they’ll likely cause a power struggle between you and your teen.

Over time, your teen may develop even more negative emotional associations with school.

3. Use active listening techniques when talking to your teen about the issue

When you talk to your teen about why he hates school (and when you talk to him about other topics too), use active listening techniques such as the following:

Give your teen your full attention
Don’t multitask
Don’t interrupt your teen while he’s talking
Encourage your teen to keep talking, e.g. by saying “go on” or “tell me more”
Empathise with your teen
Seek to understand how he is feeling
Don’t judge
Don’t moralise
As far as possible, don’t provide unsolicited advice
Occasionally summarise what you think your teen has been saying and reflect it back to him, e.g. “It sounds like you feel as if your math teacher doesn’t explain the concepts well, so you dislike math.”

By using active listening techniques, your teen will be more likely to share with you what’s troubling him.

4. Don’t use threats

It’s tempting for parents to use threats to coerce their teens into behaving “correctly”.

Whether it’s threatening to reduce your teen’s allowance or take away her phone, it won’t work in the long run.

The use of power becomes less effective as children get older. By the time they’re teenagers, this approach doesn’t work, and tends to backfire instead.

In other words, it isn’t possible to threaten your teen into becoming a motivated and responsible student who loves going to school.

If your teen detests school, the root cause is probably emotional in nature. This is what must be addressed as a priority.

5. Don’t lecture

“My teen hates school — should I lecture him or her?”

Perhaps that’s the question on your mind.

I advise parents to avoid lecturing their teens. But if you really can’t help it, keep the lecture short.

Teens tell me that they start tuning their parents out about two minutes into the lecture. So you’ll be wasting your breath if your lecture lasts longer than that.

Your teen won’t respond well to you preaching about the importance of school. Nor will he start or stop performing specific behaviours because you told him that he “should” or “shouldn’t” do those things.

(When was the last time you started eating healthily just because a relative or friend told you that you “should”?)

Lecturing won’t help your teen’s anxiety either, if that’s something he’s struggling with.

Even students who have an intense hatred for school know that doing well in school is important. They don’t need you to remind them of that, because their teachers do that almost every day.

What does your teen need from you?

He needs you to listen to him, to understand him, to see things from his perspective – this is a parenting skill I encourage you to develop.

When your teen feels understood, he’ll change his behaviour and attitude.

6. Reduce your focus on school and academics

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t bring up school-related topics at all.

But many teens have told me that it seems as if school is the only thing their parents care about. And it’s true that many parents I talk to are mostly interested in how to get their teenagers to do their homework.

So make it a point to talk about topics that your teen is interested in, e.g. music, hobbies, gaming, social media.

When the conversations you have with your teen are more balanced, your teen’s attitude toward school will become more balanced too.

7. Help your teen to learn organisational and study skills

Many students who don’t like school feel overwhelmed by schoolwork, projects, tests, exams, etc.

Most of these students haven’t learned how to prioritise, plan, stay organised, manage their time, and focus when studying.

If this describes your teen, encourage – but don’t force – her to develop these skills. To do so, she can check out relevant resources and sign up for programmes.

This is the reason why I’ve developed courses like The Perfect Study Plan, and why I coach students 1-to-1.

When students develop the necessary organisational skills and apply effective study tips, they often stop hating school!

8. Acknowledge your teen’s progress and effort

One piece of feedback I get from many teens is that they’re discouraged.

They feel as if they’ll never be good enough to live up to their parents’ expectations.

Instead of focusing on your teen’s grades, focus on their effort instead. Whenever you observe her exhibiting positive behaviour, acknowledge it.

This simple act will mean a lot to her. It will also remind her that the reward is found in the journey itself, not just the destination.

By acknowledging her progress, she’ll be more likely to develop intrinsic motivation.

9. Talk to your teen’s teachers

Reach out to your teen’s teachers. Given that they interact with your teen almost every day, they’re likely to have insights into why he hates school.

All the teachers I know are insanely busy. So even if you’re only able to schedule a 10-minute phone call with your teen’s teacher, make the most of the opportunity.

10. Talk to the parents of your teen’s friends

On a related note, to get a better picture of what’s going on, talk to the parents of your teen’s friends.

These parents would have heard from their children about what’s been frustrating them at school. Based on this feedback, you’ll understand your teen’s concerns better too.

11. Ensure that your home is an emotionally safe environment

Teens frequently tell me that they don’t feel emotionally safe at home.

Why do they say this?

Because they feel that when they’re at home, they can be nagged, criticised, blamed, reprimanded or lectured to at any time. They feel as if they can be “attacked” without forewarning.

It’s only natural that they withdraw, locking themselves in their room if possible.

If the home environment isn’t emotionally safe, teens won’t share what’s on their minds. This will only make the situation worse, and you’ll keep wondering why your teen hates school so much.

When parenting teens, do your best to cultivate a home environment that’s full of appreciation, respect and kindness.

Emphasise that there are standards that must be upheld, but that every family member will always receive unconditional acceptance.

12. Determine if there’s something more serious going on

If your teen says that she hates school, it may be a sign of something more serious, e.g. depression, panic disorder, anxiety disorders.

Here are some symptoms to look out for:

Feeling tired most of the time
Poor concentration
Feeling worthless
Feelings of self-hatred
Changes in appetite
Irritability
Persistent sadness
Self-harm
Thoughts of suicide
Loss of interest in hobbies
Change in sleep habits
Frequent crying
Withdrawing from friends and family
Loss of motivation to study or do schoolwork

If your teen is exhibiting several of these symptoms, seek help right away.

13. Ensure that your teen’s life isn’t overscheduled

Sometimes, teens who hate school are simply worn out. They feel overwhelmed by the demands of school, extracurricular activities, etc.

They may be physically exhausted and sleep-deprived. This affects their mood, which makes them more likely to perceive situations negatively.

Teens need time to think, reflect, explore and dream.

Do what you can to ensure that your teen’s life isn’t overscheduled. Over time, you’ll see improvements in his attitude toward school.

14. Be patient and encouraging toward your teen

No matter how old we are, we’re all on a journey of learning, growing and maturing.

It’s a process for your teen to change her mindset, so be patient with her.

Encourage her. Support her. Empathise with her. Listen to her. Remind her that you’ll be with her every step of the way.

As you implement the other strategies listed in this article, you’ll see improvements such that you no longer think to yourself that “my teenager hates school”.

15. Help your teen to find a mentor

Teens who detest school need some perspective on their situation.

It’s hard for teens to develop this perspective because their problems seem so overwhelming.

From their point of view, the situation might even appear hopeless.

Furthermore, teens spend the majority of their waking hours surrounded by their peers, who have a similar worldview. This makes it even more challenging for teens to view their situation through a different lens.

Parents have a difficult time getting through to teens. This is because parents’ guidance is often perceived as nagging or lecturing.

This is the reason your teen needs a mentor. The benefits of having a mentor are well-documented, which is why I mentor teens to help them become motivated, responsible, and resilient.

Your teen is just one mentor away from making the most of his potential!

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Is hating school normal?

While I’m not fond of the term normal, I will say it’s common for teens to dislike things related to school.

Just remember, most teenagers aren’t rebellious for the sake of it. There’s likely a good reason for their frustrations, so it’s crucial to apply the tips in this article to get to the root of the issue.

What can I do if my teenager refuses to go to school?

It’s tempting to scold and lecture your teenagers if they refuse to go to school.

But nagging your teens won’t work. More often than not, it will exacerbate the problem.

The good news is that there are tactics you can use to deal with challenging teenagers. Read my top 10 tips for dealing with disrespectful teens here.

How do you motivate an intelligent but unmotivated teenager?

Do you feel like your teenager doesn’t work hard enough or plan for the future, even though you know he or she is intelligent?

Or maybe your teen lacks motivation and gets distracted easily?

If so, you’re not alone. There’s a huge number of parents trying to figure out how to motivate a teenager to study and perform better in school.

I have good news for you…

I’ve spoken to and worked with more than 20,000 students around the globe. I’ve discovered that the vast majority of unmotivated teenagers want to do well in school. They simply lack the necessary mindset and skills to do so.

That’s why I wrote a free e-book to help parents learn how to motivate their teens. Discover my 16 keys to motivating teenagers here.

Do most teens hate school?

While I’m hesitant to say that most teens hate school, many do.

I know it’s frustrating to see that your children dislike school. But if you work with them day by day — by implementing the tips in this article — to embrace a new attitude, you’ll start to see improvements.

Conclusion: Huge changes occur one tiny step at a time

No matter how dire your teen’s situation may seem, remember that there’s always hope.

I’ve worked with teens who have gone from being unmotivated school-haters to being driven, focused, and independent learners.

Of course, the transformation to become happy, successful students didn’t happen overnight.

(I went through my own transformation as a teen, which you can read about here if you’re interested.)

But change is possible.

As is often said, “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.”

In the same way, huge changes occur one tiny step at a time. So apply the strategies described in this article, as well as the bonus strategies you can get access to at the end of this article.

With your love, support, and guidance, your teen can experience a transformation too!

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9 Things Students Have to Be Thankful for (but Usually Aren’t)

Updated on August 11, 2021 By Daniel Wong 9 Comments

Students have so many things they complain about, right?

Too much homework.

Naggy parents.

Not enough money.

Early mornings.

Strict teachers.

The list goes on and on.

When I was a student, I used to complain about everything. But one day I realized that the antidote to complaining is gratitude.

So after reading this article, I felt inspired to come up with a list of nine things that students have to be thankful for – but usually aren’t.

Here’s the list:

1. Naggy parents = People who love you unconditionally

2. Internet/phone/TV restrictions = Parents who care about your future

3. No pocket money to buy the coolest clothes = Learning the difference between wants and needs

4. Homework = Opportunity to acquire new knowledge and skills

5. Early school day mornings = Getting a quality education

6. Tests and exams = Valuable feedback on your learning progress

7. Group projects = Learning collaboration and interpersonal skills

8. Difficult concepts and topics = Developing perseverance

9. Mandatory subjects you dislike = Growing in patience

It’s natural to focus on the negative things in life, rather than the positive.

But to find long-term happiness and success, we must cultivate the habit of gratitude.

I hope this article helps you to do that in a small way. 🙂

Please “like” this article and share it with your friends.

Image: Happy student

50 Life Lessons Every Parent Should Teach Their Children

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 13 Comments

Ever feel like parenting is the toughest job in the world?

Parenting involves plenty of hard work. What’s more, there are no guarantees.

No matter how much you love your children, no matter how much time you spend with them, no matter how “perfect” of a parent you are … you can’t guarantee that your children will become successful and happy.

Nonetheless, there are many valuable life lessons you can impart to your children.

As your children learn these lessons, they’re more likely to grow up to be confident, well-adjusted, contributing members of society.

I’ve come up with this list of 50 life lessons that every parent should teach their children.

It’s taken me my whole life to learn these lessons. So I’m passionate about sharing them with my son (and future children), as well as the students I work with.

(Don’t forget to download your free e-book below.)

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16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.

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1. Success is more about contribution than it is about achievement.

2. Don’t worry too much about what other people think of you. They think about you a lot less than you imagine.

3. Focus on progress, not perfection.

4. Run your own race, not the race that other people expect you to run.

5. You cannot always choose your circumstances, but you can always choose your attitude.

6. School isn’t the place you go to get an education; school is just one part of your education. Be proactive in becoming a truly educated person.

7. Successful people do what other people aren’t willing to. Success is a mindset, not a goal to be attained.

8. You can’t win every time. So when you lose, do it gracefully.

9. You can learn something from everyone, no matter how “important” or “unimportant” the person may be.

10. Don’t blame others for your frustrations and disappointments. If you blame others, it means you haven’t taken full responsibility for your life.

11. Be generous. At the heart of it, living is about giving.

12. Watch as little TV as possible – preferably none at all. You’ll lead a more productive life this way.

13. Don’t multi-task. Do one thing at a time and you’ll be far more efficient.

14. Write down everything: your to-do list, your reflections, your goals, your dreams. As David Allen once said, “Your brain is a thinking tool, not a storage device.”

15. Don’t live with regret. Instead, focus on creating a better future for yourself and others.

16. Be a caring person. Care about your loved ones; care about your community; care about the world around you. Do this and your life will be fulfilling.

17. Try new things. Read new books, take up new hobbies, and eat new foods. These experiences will enrich your life.

18. Dare to fail. As Seth Godin once said, “If failure isn’t an option, then neither is real success.”

19. Life will disappoint you. Don’t give up.

20. Be willing to change. Changing yourself is one of the hardest things to do, but you can’t grow as a person if you’re not willing to change.

21. Celebrate often. Celebrate both the small and big things, and your life will be filled with joy.

22. Be intentional about spending time with people you respect and admire. Over time, you’ll become more like them.

23. Become an organized person. Being disorganized is one of the biggest causes of stress.

24. Don’t ever stop learning. The more you learn, the more you’ll appreciate the beauty of the world around you.

25. Get outside of your comfort zone on a daily basis. That’s the only way to grow.

26. Your habits will either make you or break you. Start building healthy habits today.

27. Show respect to every single person you meet. As J. K. Rowling once said, “If you want to see the true measure of a man, watch how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.”

28. Learn to appreciate both the good and the bad. After all, in life there will be plenty of both.

29. When you make a mistake, apologize. Humility is a rare but valuable trait.

30. Take care of your health, starting right now. Your future self will thank you.

31. Be kind to the people you care about the most. Many people do the opposite – they’re the least kind to the people they’re closest to.

32. You can’t be great at everything. Focus on doing a few things exceptionally well.

33. Invest in your most important relationships. This is an investment you’ll never regret.

34. Define success for yourself. Refuse to blindly accept society’s definition of success.

35. Be kind to yourself. Show yourself respect, and don’t beat yourself up over your imperfections.

36. Develop a positive attitude. Your attitude is the most important factor that leads to success and happiness.

37. Be thankful. No matter what you’re going through, there’s always something to be grateful for.

38. Lead a balanced life. Reflect on your life every few months. Ask yourself what changes you need to make in order to find more balance.

39. Be resourceful. When faced with a problem, remember that there’s always a website, a book, a course, or a friend you can turn to for help.

40. Become a person of integrity. Do what you say you’ll do, and people will trust you. Without trust, it’s impossible to build strong relationships.

41. Learn to manage your thoughts and emotions. How you respond to frustrations and disappointments will largely determine your success.

42. Set big goals, but break them down into small steps. This way, you won’t feel overwhelmed. It’s also more likely that you’ll take action.

43. Your character is more important than your accomplishments.

44. Focus on the process rather than the end result. If you do this, the end result will take care of itself.

45. Your decisions determine your destiny. Whatever life choices you’re faced with, choose wisely.

46. Passion isn’t found. It’s cultivated.

47. As a follow-up to #46, find a problem in the world that needs solving. Acquire the skills and knowledge required to solve that problem, then get to work. This is how passion is cultivated.

48. Money won’t make you happy, but without money you’ll be unhappy. Learn to spend wisely so that you can achieve financial independence as soon as possible.

49. Listen to your parents more than you feel like. Most of the time, they really do know better than you.

50. Happiness is a choice more than it is a feeling.

(If you haven’t already done so, make sure to download your free e-book below.)

FREE E-BOOK:

Get your FREE copy of

16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.

The e-book has already been downloaded by many thousands of parents, so don't miss out!