How to Motivate a Teenager: 13 Tips Guaranteed to Work

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 13 Comments

Do you struggle with how to motivate your teenager?

Don’t worry — many parents do.

After all, parenting teens isn’t easy.

You don’t want to be bossy, but you still want your teens to become successful, self-disciplined adults.

What will happen if you stop controlling and lecturing your teenagers?

Will they ever develop the positive, lifelong habits needed to thrive?

Here’s what you need to keep in mind…

Nagging and micromanaging your teens won’t help them to develop intrinsic motivation.

It might help your teens to pass an exam, but what will happen when they’re at university, and you’re not there to guide them?

The secret to motivating teens is to fuel inner motivation — to support and help in the development of self-discipline.

Your teens will then get good grades and, more importantly, develop the confidence and mindset required to succeed in all areas of life.

Motivating teenagers is possible. You can help your teens develop intrinsic motivation today using the following strategies.

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13 ways to motivate a teenager

Let’s explore these tips for how to motivate a teenager, so you can provide support without micromanaging your teens.

1. Focus on the process more than the outcome

Getting good grades and performing well in extracurriculars is important, but there’s more to life than that.

What truly matters are the skills your teen learns through the journey — traits like responsibility, perseverance, resilience, and hard work.

So encourage your teenager to focus on the process of becoming a more motivated and disciplined student.

If your teens don’t achieve their goals, help them identify opportunities for improvement while keeping your attention on the effort they put in.

For example, you might say something like this:

“Even though you didn’t make the football team, I hope you’re proud of yourself for practising every day. You showed determination and grit. Next time, how do you think you can practise more effectively?”

Focus on the process, and your teens will be less likely to shy away from challenges and more likely to try new things.

Here are some additional ways you can encourage your teen to become a process-oriented student:

Discuss the benefits of learning and studying beyond getting good grades.
Explain that rewarding careers and hobbies require time, effort, and determination.
Praise your teen when you observe hard work — not just for outstanding performance.
Discuss your teen’s hopes and aspirations; show how you, too, are going after your dreams (even if it means that you might fail along the way).

Every parent wants their teens to perform well.

It’s not a natural tendency for parents and teens to prioritise processes over outcomes. But shift your mindset — and help your teens do the same — and you’ll empower them to develop lifelong motivation and self-discipline.

Positive outcomes are then sure to follow!

2. Respect your teenager’s autonomy

Your teenagers are learning to find their way in the world — discovering their personality, passions, and individuality.

While your teenagers might not be adults quite yet, the desire for increased autonomy and independence are two natural elements of growing up.

What’s the problem?

Most teenagers have to abide by strict rules and schedules. They often have little control over their daily routines.

As a result, many teenagers feel frustrated, powerless and, ultimately, unmotivated.

Now, I’m not saying that you should let your teenagers do whatever they want. But it’s important to give them some agency, so they become more motivated to work hard and follow through on tasks.

You might be tempted to use threats to get your teens to improve their behaviour. But if you overdo it, they’ll start to ignore your threats.

And dealing with a teen who doesn’t care is a different problem than trying to boost his or her motivation.

One easy way to respect your teenagers’ autonomy is to set rules and consequences together.

They’ll realise that you appreciate their opinions. They’ll then be more motivated to respect you and the mutually agreed-upon boundaries.

And when it comes to how to motivate teenagers, avoid the urge to say, “I know what’s best for you.”

Maybe you do know what’s best for your teenagers. But when you help them to responsibly embrace a greater sense of autonomy, they’ll develop into mature adults.

3. Promote empathetic communication

Talk to your teens and listen to what they have to say, even if it’s not exactly what you want to hear.

Encourage open dialogue and exchange long-winded lectures for supportive, empathetic communication.

If your teen comes to you with a problem, avoid the urge to interrupt him or her by giving unsolicited advice. You can still give guidance and coaching, but listen more and speak less.

In other words, practise active listening as you give your teen your full attention.

When you create this kind of positive environment, your teens will feel understood instead of judged or criticised. They’ll then be more likely to tell you what’s really going on in their lives.

Studies show that teenagers with close family relationships and open communication are less prone to behavioural problems — a finding that you probably don’t find surprising.

At this point, you might be thinking:

“I’d love to communicate with my teenagers more, but they never want to talk to me!”

A good way to promote open, empathetic communication with teenagers is to eat meals together regularly. 80% of teenagers say they’re the most likely to talk to their parents during mealtimes, so make family dinners a priority.

4. Support your teen’s interests

Do your teens have interests outside of school like dance, music, or athletics?

If so, that’s great!

Academics are essential to your teens’ overall development, but so are other activities and hobbies.

When your teens invest time in a passion, they learn how to become self-motivated while developing other life skills that young adults need.

Don’t talk about your teens’ hobbies as if they’re a waste of time. If you do that, your teens may become angry and resentful.

So support your teens as they pursue their interests, while helping them to lead a balanced life. If you do this, you’ll no longer ask yourself questions related to how to motivate a teenager.

Are you unsure about what your teenagers’ interests are?

Start by listening to them and observing them. What might seem like wasted time on social media could actually be a passion for video editing or media production.

5. Set a good example for your teen

Whether it’s letting the laundry pile up, putting off that long-overdue dentist appointment, or hitting the snooze button repeatedly, adults have a way of procrastinating too.

It’s hard being a parent, and no one expects you to be perfect.

Still, your teenagers are watching you and modelling their behaviour after you, either consciously or subconsciously.

If you struggle to find the motivation for the things that matter, your teens might have a hard time behaving differently.

But if your teens observe that you’re hardworking, responsible, and disciplined, they’ll be more likely to develop these qualities, too.

Here are just a few ways to set a good example for your children:

Develop a family culture where it’s okay to make mistakes. Share your dreams and setbacks — and embrace new challenges even when it’s scary!
Procrastinate as little as possible. If there’s a simple task that you can complete in a couple of minutes, do it right away.
Demonstrate a holistic approach to motivation by taking care of your physical and mental health.

6. Speak positively to and about your teen

“Why can’t you be more focused like your brother?”

“I heard that your classmate Johnny got straight-As. If he can do it, I’m sure you can, too.”

It’s tempting to compare your teen to siblings or peers. But instead of motivating your teen, this can result in low self-esteem and even resentment.

Say positive things to your teens as often as you can. Celebrate their unique strengths, and encourage them to see that hard work is fun and rewarding.

Here’s another tip…

When you say things like “When I was your age… ” your teens will see it as a kind of comparison, too. They’ll feel as if you can’t relate to or understand their situation or perspective.

So try to avoid making these types of comments as much as possible.

7. Promote healthy habits

If you want to know how to motivate a teenager, don’t underestimate the value of a good night’s sleep.

It’s difficult for anyone to find motivation when they’re exhausted.

Studies show that teenagers need 8 to 10 hours of sleep a night to function optimally, so help your teen develop a routine that provides enough time for rest.

Nutrition and exercise matter, too. Healthy habits help teenagers cope with stress and increase self-control.

Here are some areas to focus on when helping your teenager to embrace healthy habits:

Establish a daily routine
Exercise regularly
Switch off devices before bed
Avoid excessive caffeine
Eat a balanced diet

Remember that if you model self-care, your teenager will be more likely to lead a balanced life, too.

8. Avoid giving both rewards and punishments

Using rewards and punishments seems like a simple way to motivate teenagers.

In fact, parents often say things to me like: “Won’t my teens study harder if they get extra video game time for good grades and lose their phone privileges for bad grades?”

But here’s what you need to be aware of…

Research shows that rewards and punishments don’t lead to long-term motivation. Sure, they might compel your teens to study more for an upcoming exam, but they won’t teach your teens values like hard work and persistence.

Plus, rewards and punishments prioritise the outcome over the process.

Like we talked about earlier, we want to instil in our teens a love for learning and taking on challenges.

So if you’re asking yourself how to motivate a teenager, avoid resorting to rewards and punishments — and follow the tips in this article instead.

9. Let natural consequences run their course

You don’t want to micromanage your teenagers and be a helicopter parent. But that doesn’t mean they should get away with anything.

Mistakes have consequences, and your teens need to learn from their missteps.

Every parent wants to protect their children, but let natural consequences run their course whenever feasible.

For example, if your teens don’t put their dirty clothes in the laundry basket, don’t do it for them. When they run out of clean clothes, they’ll be forced to rewear their dirty clothes.

And if your teens fail an exam? Resist the urge to ask the teacher if they can retake the exam. Your teens need to learn better study habits to do well the next time around.

I know you want to save your teens from unnecessary pain and disappointment.

But when you let them learn from natural consequences — without telling them “I told you so” — you’ll avoid frustrating power struggles.

What’s more, they’ll learn the value of intrinsic motivation and making wise choices.

10. Find a mentor

Did you know that students with mentors are more likely to succeed?

It’s great that your teenagers (hopefully) love and respect you. Still, it’s beneficial that they get a fresh perspective from someone outside the family.

It’s especially helpful for your teens to have a mentor when there’s a conflict between you and them.

A mentor will be able to empower your teens to understand the situation from different points of view, so that it will be easier to arrive at a solution.

A mentor could be a coach, teacher, neighbour, or even a family friend. It could also be a professional success and life coach for teens, which is a big part of the work I do.

11. Equip your teen with valuable organisational tools

Your teen wants to succeed. It’s just that sometimes, mounting school and social responsibilities feel overwhelming.

So, instead of tackling his or her long to-do list, your teen turns to videos, games and social media to escape.

And you’re left wondering how to motivate a teenager in such a situation.

If your teen feels beaten down and frustrated, a couple of crucial organisational tips can help. Start with these two fundamental skills:

A. Chunking down

This technique makes daunting school assignments feel more manageable by breaking big tasks into smaller action items.

If your teens have a huge project to complete, help them “chunk” the work down into bite-sized tasks that can be easily tackled one at a time.

B. List-making

Encourage your teens to write down all important information, e.g. homework, deadlines, things to bring, exam dates.

This way, they won’t forget important dates and they’ll feel more in control of the things they need to do.

Just as adults have to learn organisational and planning skills in order to be responsible, so too do your teenagers.

If you equip them with the right tools and strategies, they’ll become more self-motivated.

12. Avoid giving pep talks

Sometimes, reading encouraging quotes or even motivational quotes for students can give your teens the quick boost of inspiration they need to power through an assignment.

But when it comes to motivating your teens for the long term, pep talks rarely work.

Why?

Because even the best-intentioned pep talks often turn into lectures, at least from your teens’ perspective. What you think are words of inspiration might come across as nagging or even scolding.

Instead of giving your teenagers pep talks, help them to develop intrinsic motivation by following the tips in this article.

13. Develop routines and structures together with your teen

You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret to your success is found in your daily routine.
– John C. Maxwell

Want a sure-fire way to eliminate unnecessary conflict while developing motivation in your teens?

Create and maintain established family routines.

When it comes to motivating teenagers, a consistent structure sets them up for success while providing the space they need as they exercise their sense of autonomy.

The secret to rewarding and effective family routines is to develop them with your teens. Work together to create a daily and weekly framework that’s acceptable to everyone.

Include important responsibilities like study time and chores, but don’t forget to make time for extra-curricular activities, hobbies, fun family times, etc. too.

Maybe your teen wants to cook dinner for the family every Sunday or do volunteer work one Saturday a month.

Such personal goals and interests are a fantastic way to motivate your teenager to excel in all areas of life, so include them in the family routines as far as possible.

In closing…

I encourage you to start applying at least a couple of these 13 proven tips to motivate teenagers.

As you do this, your teens will develop the inner motivation needed to succeed, while also finding fulfilment in their various pursuits.

Since you’re reading this article, I’m guessing that you’ve been facing some challenges with your teens…

Have you been trying to motivate them without much success?

Or do you have ongoing disagreements with them over schoolwork, screen time, chores, family responsibilities, etc.?

If so, it doesn’t have to be this way.

Sign up for my online course for parents of teens today and discover my proven 7-step system to transform your teen into one who’s motivated and responsible!

(If you haven’t already done so, make sure to download your free quick action guide below.)

FREE QUICK ACTION GUIDE:

Get your FREE copy of

10 Proven Ways to Get Your Teenager to Listen to You.

The tips are guaranteed to help you get through to your teen, so download your copy today!

30 Ways to Deal With an Entitled Teenager (And Encourage Gratitude Instead)

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 13 Comments

Note from Daniel: This is a guest post by Veronica Wallace.

Many parents are confused about how to deal with an entitled teenager.

They also fear that their teenager doesn’t appreciate what he or she has.

Entitlement is the opposite of gratitude.

When teenagers feel entitled, they become upset and throw tantrums when they don’t get what they feel they deserve.

But when their lives are filled with gratitude, they express appreciation for the many good things they know they don’t deserve at all.

Here are 30 ways to fight entitlement and develop gratitude in your teenagers.

(Don’t forget to download your free e-book below.)

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Get your FREE copy of

16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.

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How to deal with entitled teenagers

As a parent, there’s a lot you can do to fight entitlement and develop gratitude in your teenagers.

Try some of these strategies with your children and watch their perspectives begin to change.

1. Don’t just make your teens say “please” and “thank you”; explain to them why it’s important to do so sincerely

Many teens say “please” and “thank you” without sincerity.

They say it out of politeness, because their parents have trained them to use these “magic” words.

But warmth and sincerity matter more than politeness.

Encourage your children to say “please” and “thank you”, and explain to them how these words must come from a place of genuine gratitude.

Only when your children mean it each time will they cultivate a spirit of thankfulness.

2. Expect more from your teens

When you don’t expect anything of your children, they’ll expect everything of you.

Continuing to do everything for them is not how to deal with entitled teenagers.

Needing to earn something and being grateful to others for what you’ve earned is key.

Chores and responsibilities are powerful tools that will prevent your children from becoming entitled.

3. Establish boundaries

Creating boundaries is essential so that your teens understand that resources aren’t infinite.

Work with your children to establish boundaries related to spending, responsibilities, electronic devices, etc.

Show your children how you establish boundaries in your own life too.

4. Give your teens privileges that are tied to demonstrated responsibility

As far as possible, tie new privileges to demonstrated responsibility.

This will enable your teens to understand that they’ll reap what they sow.

For example, when your children keep to their curfew timing consistently for one month, their curfew timing could be extended by 15 minutes the following month.

5. Try role-playing with your teens

Teenagers who have not been practising gratitude may have a hard time expressing it when the opportunity presents itself.

To deal with entitled teenagers, help them learn how and when to express gratitude.

Role-playing scenarios in which your children could express gratitude will help them to turn gratitude into a habit.

6. Reduce the abundance in your home

One of my biggest tips for parenting teens and tackling entitlement is to remove abundance at home.

Teens who have less tend to be more grateful for what they have.

That’s why you don’t see many picky eaters around when food is scarce.

Be careful not to spoil your children by giving them whatever they want – a lack of abundance will help them to be grateful for what they have.

Reducing the abundance in your home will mean that you’ll need to make sacrifices too. But these sacrifices will be worth it when you observe your children becoming less entitled.

7. Explain the difference between wants and needs

Your children might want ice cream, but they need to eat balanced meals if they want to grow up healthy.

Help them understand the difference between wants and needs in various areas of life. As time goes by, they’ll be more appreciative whenever they get something they want (but don’t need).

8. Believe that your teens can change

Many parents have already decided that their teens are spoiled and entitled.

So every instance where their children behave in a way that seems mildly entitled confirms this belief.

Over time, these parents give up trying to fight the teenage entitlement mentality.

If you want your children to become more grateful, you must believe that change is possible.

Keep your eyes open to observe any progress that your children are making as you apply the tips in this article.

9. Model the desired behaviour for your teens

Thinking about how to deal with teenage attitude and entitled behaviour includes analysing your own behaviour.

Like it or not, your children will emulate you.

They’ll also be quick to point it out if they think you’re being hypocritical.

So take a good look in the mirror to evaluate the levels of entitlement vs. gratitude in your own life.

How often do you act entitled? How often do you express gratitude? Do you complain a lot?

Change your own behaviour and attitude, and you’ll see a change in your children.

10. Encourage your teens to keep a journal

Journalling is an excellent way to learn about your feelings and cultivate mindfulness.

Encourage your children to journal every day or week about the things they’re grateful for and the life lessons they’re learning.

Of course, if you encourage your children to do this, then you should do it too!

11. Distinguish between owed and given

Teenagers may think that they’re owed everything.

Have conversations with your teens about what they deserve and what they’ve received because of the love and generosity of others.

12. Serve others as a family

Serving others is one of the best ways to deal with entitled teenagers and children.

Be the kind of person who goes out of his or her way to help others out. Encourage your children to do the same.

Talk about why serving others is a crucial part of life, and serve others together as a family.

As Sir Winston Churchill once said, “We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.”

13. Perform random acts of kindness

Do something nice for a family member, a friend, or even a stranger.

Get your teens involved in performing these random acts of kindness too.

It’s impossible for your children to become kinder without also becoming less entitled.

If you’re not used to performing such acts of kindness, it will feel strange at the start. So be sure to begin by taking tiny steps!

14. Talk about money and how much things cost

Teens sometimes think ATMs are magical machines that dispense money.

Providing opportunities to learn about the value of money is essential when dealing with entitled teenagers.

Explain to your children how much various things cost, e.g. groceries, electronic devices, restaurant meals, cars, houses.

Talk to them about the dangers of accumulating credit card debt, and explain to them how you’re being intentional about living within your means.

Teach them to ask the question, “Can I afford it?” But teach them that it’s even more important to ask the question, “Do I need it?”

After all, just because we can afford something doesn’t mean that we need to have it.

15. Create gratitude rituals

When dealing with entitled teenagers, put more opportunities in place to practise gratitude.

For example, once or twice a week before a family meal, you can go around the table and ask every family member to share one thing they’re thankful for.

16. Don’t lecture or nag your teens about gratitude

Instead of lecturing or nagging, have casual family discussions about gratitude whenever relevant situations arise.

Gratitude is a value that must be both taught and “caught” – caught through the day-to-day interactions within the family.

17. Talk about things in the past that you’re grateful for

It’s helpful if you occasionally talk to your children about things in the past that you’re thankful for – even things that seemed bad at the time.

For example, you might be grateful that you didn’t get your initial dream job, because the setback propelled you down an even more meaningful career path.

There are even cancer patients who talk about receiving the “gift” of cancer.

They call it a gift because it taught them to live more intentionally and purposefully.

18. Teach your teens to practise mindfulness

Mindfulness allows your teens to fully experience their own emotions and to become more self-aware.

In turn, this fosters gratitude.

Performing deep breathing exercises and focusing on doing just one activity at a time (e.g. eating a meal alone without doing anything else like using your phone) can help to develop the mindfulness habit.

19. Ask your teens open-ended questions

To better understand how and what your children are feeling, ask them open-ended questions.

This will enable you to have meaningful discussions with them about what gratitude is and how to cultivate it.

20. Develop a family culture of empathy

Building empathy is a great way to deal with entitled teenagers.

Help your children to put themselves in other people’s shoes.

Ask them about why they think other people reacted the way they did in various situations.

The more often they try to empathise with others, the better they’ll understand the feelings of others.

Empathy and compassion are wonderful tools that enable gratitude to flourish.

21. Limit screen time

When teenagers indulge in screen time, their focus is largely on themselves.

During screen time, these are the typical questions that they’re asking themselves:

What fun do I want to have?
Which apps are the most entertaining to me?
What videos do I want to watch?
What should I post on social media?
Which games do I feel like playing?

Of course, screen time isn’t all bad. But you can see how it promotes self-centred thinking.

In contrast, empathy, compassion and gratitude are focused on others.

So it’s important that you have a family discussion about setting limits for screen time for everyone in the family – including you!

If you show that you’re intentional about limiting your own screen time, your children will be more open to having limits on their screen time too.

22. Help your teens to develop a growth mindset

A growth mindset is one that’s focused on the process and on learning from both your successes and failures.

A growth mindset for students is instrumental in developing the right kind of motivation. As your children begin to see every challenge as an opportunity, they’ll become more thankful for the obstacles in their path.

23. Be charitable

Donate to charities and volunteer on a regular basis.

Involve your teens in these activities, so that they’ll be exposed to the many needs that exist in society.

As a result, they’ll become more compassionate and less entitled.

24. Live a life of love

Be a person who is always showing love toward others.

Gratitude is a key component of love, and vice versa. One can’t exist fully without the other.

In practical ways, show love and concern for your family, your friends, and strangers.

The more love your family shows toward others, the more gratitude you and your children will express.

25. Empower your teens to become independent

When your teens are dependent on you for almost everything, they’ll feel entitled to everything they get.

If teens are too dependent on their parents, they feel powerless yet entitled. This is a bad combination.

Let go of the reins bit by bit.

Allow your children to gain confidence as they make more decisions, and take full responsibility for those decisions.

The more problem-solving abilities they develop and the more mature they become, the more they’ll appreciate the resources they have access to.

26. Do things that require more time and effort, and less money

When your teens see you spending money, it can often seem too easy to them.

By tapping a few times on your phone or swiping your credit card at a store – just like that, you’ve made a purchase.

Your children don’t see the hard work that went into earning the money that you’re spending.

This disconnect subconsciously breeds a sense of entitlement in your children.

Entitled teenagers continue to expect rewards even when they’ve only put in minimal effort.

That’s why it’s better to do things that require more time and effort, and less money, whenever possible.

When your children see the effort that goes into organising a camping trip or helping a neighbour move to a new home, they’ll understand the value of hard work.

Over time, as they develop a stronger work ethic, they’ll become more grateful.

After all, have you ever met someone with a strong work ethic and a positive attitude who was also entitled?

27. Find a mentor for your teens

It can sometimes be difficult to discuss issues related to entitlement and gratitude with your teens.

That’s why it’s beneficial for your teens to have a mentor.

Teenagers are far more likely to thrive when they have a mentor or coach.

A mentor can help your children to reflect on their weaknesses and develop a more holistic perspective. This is essential in order for them to mature and grow.

28. Write thank-you notes

Nowadays, it’s rare for people to send handwritten thank-you notes.

Be one of those people who does it. It’s a thoughtful gesture that doesn’t take much time.

Encourage your children to write thank-you notes to their teachers and friends at the end of each semester, or whenever the opportunity arises.

29. Experiment

There are many recommendations listed in this article.

Try out a few of these methods at a time and see which ones work best for you and your family.

The more consistent you are about experimenting with the tips, the greater success you’ll see.

30. Start small

Don’t try to implement all of these tips at once – that would be too overwhelming for both you and your teens.

Start small and be patient. Write down and track exactly which tips you’re implementing each week.

Day by day, you’ll observe positive changes in your children as you develop a family culture of gratitude.

Encouraging gratitude in entitled teens is an ongoing process

Cultivating a spirit of gratitude is a lifelong process.

There are times when all of us could be more grateful and less entitled.

Through the process of teaching your teens about gratitude, you’ll sometimes feel frustrated.

When this happens, remind yourself of how thankful you are to be a parent, to have the daily opportunity to lead and empower your children.

Being a parent is challenging, but it’s also a privilege.

This is a privilege to be grateful for! 🙂

Veronica Wallace is a childhood educator, writer and blogging enthusiast. She loves applying her knowledge of writing to new content pieces.

(If you haven’t already done so, make sure to download your free e-book below.)

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16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager.

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50 Words of Wisdom Every Student Needs to Hear

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 66 Comments

I completed my formal education some years ago.

Thinking about the 17 years I spent in school, I realise that I would have had a more fulfilling time if I’d been wiser.

It takes time to acquire wisdom. To help students through this process, I decided to write this article, in which I’ll share 50 words of wisdom every student should hear.

If you apply the advice in this article, I’m confident that you’ll become a happier and more successful student.

(Download the free PDF below to learn 10 bonus tips.)

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1. Don’t take your parents for granted. Your parents may nag you, and you may feel as if they don’t understand you. But they love you unconditionally, so appreciate them as often as you can.

2. Getting a bad grade isn’t the end of the world. In a few years, you won’t even remember most of your grades. If you get a bad grade, learn from your mistakes and prepare better for the next exam.

3. Use the Internet as a tool for education more than entertainment. The Internet can keep you entertained for hours. But with sites like Udemy, Udacity and How Stuff Works, the Internet can also make you a far more educated person.

4. Stress is a fact of life, but it should never become a way of life. This means that it’s normal to feel stressed and tired once in a while. But if you feel stressed and tired almost every day, then you need to reevaluate your life to see what you ought to be doing differently.

5. Learn to manage your money. As a student, you probably don’t have tons of money. That’s a good thing, because you can learn to spend, save, invest and give with little risk. Learn money management skills while you’re still young!

6. Make sleep a priority. Research has proven that sleep is essential for health and brain function. Make it a priority to get eight hours of sleep a night, and you’ll be a happier and better student.

7. Ask for help when you need it. There’s no shame in asking for help. If you can’t find the answer on Google, don’t hesitate to ask your teachers or parents. They’ll be more than willing to assist you.

8. Write things down. Your brain isn’t a perfect storage device, so write things down. Use a notebook or an app like Google Keep to ensure that you don’t forget anything important. If you write things down, you’ll be a more organised and effective student.

9. If you need motivation to study, go to the library. When you’re surrounded by people who are studying, you’ll feel inspired to study. Don’t underestimate the effect your environment has on your motivation. This study tip is extremely valuable!

10. Learn to embrace challenges rather than avoid them. Choose to see challenges as fun opportunities to learn. Even if you can’t overcome the challenge, you would have still grown as a person.

11. Don’t blame others. I used to blame my teachers, parents and peers for almost every problem I faced. Don’t be like me. The sooner you stop blaming others, the sooner you’ll learn to take full responsibility for your life.

12. Go to every single class. If the class is boring, see it as an opportunity to improve your ability to focus. If the class is about a topic you’ve learned before, see it as an opportunity to review the information.

13. Be grateful. Grateful students are happy students. No matter what situation you’re in, there’s always something to be thankful for: school, friends, family, food, health, nature, technology, etc.

14. Don’t take shortcuts. It’s tempting to take shortcuts, but resist the urge to do so. The more shortcuts you take, the less you’ll learn and the less you’ll grow as a person. Don’t shortchange yourself.

15. Be kind to yourself. Do you ever tell yourself that you’re lazy, ugly, dumb or irresponsible? Would you ever say those things to your best friend? Be kind to yourself, and learn to become your own best friend. In fact, research has proven that self-compassion is a key component of success.

16. Spend more time thinking about others than yourself. If you spend most of your time thinking about yourself, you’ll be unhappy. No matter how many good things there are going on in your life, you’ll be tempted to ask yourself questions like “Why can’t I be as popular as her?” or “Why are my parents so strict?” Instead, focus on helping others and you’ll be a happier student.

17. Say no without feeling guilty. Leading an effective student life is all about knowing what your priorities and values are. If there are activities or opportunities that aren’t aligned with your priorities, say no with confidence.

18. Don’t rely on others for things that are your own responsibility. I used to rely on others to remember things or run errands on my behalf. But I now realise that this was irresponsible behaviour. Don’t rely on other people for things that you should handle yourself.

19. Exercise regularly. Exercise is good for your body and your brain. So if you think you don’t have time to exercise, you actually don’t have time not to exercise. Exercise will make you a healthier and more effective student.

20. Don’t try to remember things; make them impossible to forget. One of the most important traits to develop when you’re in school is dependability. To become a dependable student, make it impossible to forget things, e.g. submitting homework, bringing a textbook to school, asking your parents to sign a consent form. Use a diary, sticky note or app to ensure that you don’t forget.

21. Ask yourself throughout the day, “What’s important now?” We often do what we feel like doing at the moment – even if that behaviour isn’t in our long-term interests. To fight this tendency, ask yourself, “What’s important now?” The answer will usually be clear.

22. Look for the good in every situation. For example, I once read about a woman who was exhausted after working at a restaurant for 14 hours straight in a day. She exclaimed, “I’m tired, but it feels so good to have spent all my energy doing something meaningful like work!” With an attitude like that, you’ll be a winner in life for sure.

23. Celebrate the successes of others. Your life as a student may feel like a competition, but it isn’t. Celebrate the accomplishments and successes of your peers, and don’t be a sore loser.

24. Don’t feel as if you need to have it all figured out. As a teenager, I used to think that I would have everything figured out by the time I finished school. But I still don’t feel as if I have everything figured out, and I don’t think I ever will. Life is a continual journey of learning and maturing – learn to enjoy the journey!

25. Spend time with people who have the same (or similar) values and goals as you. All of us are influenced greatly by the people we surround ourselves with. Choose to surround yourself with people who will inspire you to become a better person and student.

26. No experience in life is wasted. To paraphrase Tony Robbins, cultivate the belief that life is happening for you, not to you. If you believe that life is happening for your good, you’ll be able to see even challenges and frustrations in a positive light.

27. Don’t expect to become an educated person just by going to school. School is a crucial part of your education, but it’s just one part. Why? Because there are many skills you won’t master through formal education alone, e.g. persuasion, negotiation, design thinking, adaptive thinking. Take a proactive approach toward learning these types of skills through these must-read books for students, videos, online courses and real-world experiences.

28. Say “thank you” and “sorry” often. Don’t just say these words for the sake of saying them. If you mean it when you say “thank you” and “sorry”, you’ll build stronger relationships with both your friends and family.

29. Don’t worry about being popular or cool. Popularity is overrated. Responsibility, duty, excellence, kindness, courage and generosity aren’t – so focus on these instead.

30. Be curious. For most of my life as a student, I only learned information that was going to be tested on the exam. But later on, when I became a curious student who wanted to learn about all kinds of things, I started to enjoy school more. Not only that, I started to enjoy life more, because I realised that there’s so much beauty in the world around us. Start becoming more curious today!

31. Every choice you make shapes your character, so choose wisely. As a student, you make hundreds of choices every day: what to eat, how to spend your money, who to talk to, what clothes to wear, how hard to work, etc. Every decision shapes your character and destiny, so don’t take it lightly.

32. 90% of success is doing what others aren’t willing to do. Most students aren’t willing to do the extra assignment, proofread the essay one more time, put their tablet away when it’s time to focus, or delete the distracting apps on their phone. Be the student who is willing to do those things – and more. If you adopt this mindset in life, you’re almost guaranteed to become successful.

33. You’re never too young to make an impact. As a student, I thought of myself as a “kid” who couldn’t make an impact. But just look at these children and teenagers who are making huge contributions to the world. No matter how old you are, believe you can contribute, and start small in whatever way you can.

34. Assume the best of others. Many disagreements arise because we assume the worst of others. We assume that others are selfish and inconsiderate. But this is rarely true. If you assume the best of others, you’ll make an effort to understand their perspective. This, in turn, will enable you to resolve conflicts more quickly.

35. Invest in the relationships that matter most. Relationships must be nurtured – this takes time. List the people who mean the most to you. Make an intentional effort to invest in these relationships, at least on a weekly or fortnightly basis.

36. The grass isn’t greener on the other side; the grass is greener where you water it. (This is my shortened version of a quote from Robert Fulghum.) Do you ever think to yourself, “If only I went to a different school… If only I were born in a different city… If only I were better-looking…”? If so, remember that the grass is greener where you water it. “Water the grass” by choosing to have a positive attitude and by taking action, instead of complaining.

37. Everything worth doing takes time and effort. This applies to grades, relationships, career, character, and more. If you want to go somewhere meaningful and rewarding in life, there are no shortcuts.

38. Compliment others sincerely. Do this as often as you can, preferably daily. This is a simple way to appreciate others and make their day just a little bit brighter.

39. Forgive others and yourself. If you do this, you won’t be filled with anger and resentment. If you extend forgiveness freely, your life will be more peaceful and joyous.

40. To be successful, you must learn how to deal with negative emotions. When you’re feeling frustrated, angry, disappointed or sad, you’re more likely to make bad decisions. You can’t avoid all negative emotions, but you can learn to manage them so they don’t derail you.

41. Become reasonably good at public speaking. I’m not saying that everyone should become a professional speaker. But I am saying that over the course of your life you’ll have many opportunities to speak in public. So you might as well become proficient at it sooner rather than later (or never).

42. Attitude matters more than intelligence or talent. As Zig Ziglar once said, “Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.” Intelligence and talent play a part in how successful you become as a student and in life. But attitude matters much more. Start cultivating a positive and resilient attitude today.

43. Be present. When I was a student, I spent far too much time thinking about my past mistakes and worrying about the future. I spent far too little time in the present: living in the moment, appreciating the small things, being 100% focused, seeing the beauty in what I was learning, cherishing relationships. Wherever you are, be present.

44. Show your parents respect and appreciation. This might be hard for you to do, especially if you think your parents are unreasonable or overbearing. But I encourage you to do it anyway. First of all, it’s the right thing to do. Second of all, when parents don’t receive respect and appreciation from their children, they tend to become even more unreasonable and overbearing. So it’s in everyone’s best interests that you show your parents respect and appreciation.

45. Fear should usually be seen as a signal to advance, not retreat. Most of the time, when we feel afraid our life isn’t actually in danger. Common fears include public speaking, failure, rejection, and the fear of learning. As such, fear should usually be seen as something to move towards, because in doing so you’ll experience personal growth.

46. Don’t watch TV. Studies show that watching too much TV is linked to depression. Watching some TV won’t hurt you, but if you decide not to watch TV at all, you’ll have more time for meaningful and productive activities. If you need to de-stress, check out this list of science-backed ways to do so.

47. Pay attention in class. If you do this, you won’t need to spend so much time studying because you would have already understood most of the concepts taught in class. If you have trouble paying attention, I recommend that you improve your focus gradually. For example, you could start by setting a timer for 10 minutes, as a reminder that you’ll pay attention for just 10 minutes. After the 10 minutes are up, you can allow yourself to be distracted for a minute or two before you start another 10-minute “focus session”. Every day, increase the length of the “focus session” by one minute.

48. When faced with a problem, ask yourself, “What is one thing I can do now to improve the situation?” I’ve underlined those three words/phrases for good reasons. When you focus on just one thing you can do, you won’t feel overwhelmed. When you focus on what you can do now, you’ll be more motivated to take action right away. And when you focus on what you can do now to improve the situation, you’ll almost certainly be able to think of at least one productive action to take. Ask this powerful question whenever you’re faced with a problem, and you’ll become a more effective student and person.

49. Looking successful is different from being successful. Looking successful is about prestige, popularity, status and accomplishments. Being successful is about purpose, relationships, character and contribution. As a student, ensure that you’re working towards being successful, not just looking successful.

50. Focus on progress, not perfection. There’s no such thing as a perfect student. After all, we’re flawed human beings. If you aim to achieve perfection, you’ll be disappointed, and you may lose motivation. On the other hand, if you focus on progress, you’ll realise that getting better is its own reward. This is the key to being an effective, fulfilled student.

Conclusion

I don’t claim to be the wisest person around, but I hope you’ve found this article useful.

(Download the free PDF below to learn 10 additional tips.)

It took me many years to learn these lessons, and I know I still have much more wisdom to acquire.

Don’t feel as if you need to put all the tips into practice right away. Instead, revisit this article periodically and focus on just one tip a week.

It will make a huge difference in the long run. Wishing you all the best!

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30 Unimportant Things That Young People Should Stop Worrying About

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 31 Comments

Let’s be honest.

We all spend time thinking about or doing unimportant things.

It can take a lot of time and energy, and it distracts us from the things that do matter.

Children and teenagers are particularly prone to this. I admit that I was definitely like this when I was younger as well!

I’ve spoken to and worked with more than 20,000 students thus far. Based on my experiences and observations, I’ve come up with this list of things that young people need to realise are not important in life.

1. How many friends or followers you have on social media

Many people measure their self-worth by the number of friends or followers they have on social media, but this isn’t important in the long run.

Those followers won’t help you when you have a rough day, and they won’t support you when you’re feeling down.

They’ll just post images to show the best parts of their lives – too much time spent on social media leads to depression for this very reason.

2. How many “likes” you get on social media

The number of “likes” or comments on a social media post can seem important. It can seem like an indication of your popularity.

You get a small dopamine hit every time you get a “thumbs up”, which explains why social media is so addictive.

The thing to remember is that the number of likes you get isn’t nearly as important as the number of true friends you have. Nor is it as important as the relationships you have with your family members.

3. Living in the past

Everyone can get caught up living in the past. Either reliving the good times, or rehashing mistakes you’ve made.

According to research conducted by Matt Killingsworth, we’re happiest when we live in the moment.

So make the decision to be fully present wherever you are.

4. Being constantly connected to the Internet

People experience fatigue, stress and depression because of excessive technology use. It can make it more difficult to get to sleep and can even lead to mental health issues.

It might be challenging, but try to find balance between time spent online and time spent in the real world.

You’re far more likely to be healthy and happy if you engage with other people face to face, as well as lead a balanced life.

5. Comparing yourself with others

This is an easy trap to fall into, but it rarely leads to anything good. When you compare yourself to other people you’re likely to feel inferior.

Instead of comparing yourself with others, focus on ways that you can improve yourself or your situation so you feel more empowered.

6. Being obsessed about having nice “stuff”

It’s easy to think about all your friends who have nicer gadgets and clothes than you.

The best way to deal with this obsession is to think more holistically about the other person’s life.

Consider whether they’re truly happy, or whether they have strong relationships. Often, having nice stuff conceals unhappiness that exists at a deeper level.

7. Being better than other people

We’re always going to be better than some people at some things, and worse than some people at other things.

But life isn’t a race; it’s a journey. Each of us is unique, so we ought to strive to make the most of our gifts and talents.

Life is more about being the best that we can be, and less about being better than others.

8. Holding on to anger and resentment

Malachy McCourt said, “Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” It’s true that anger and resentment slowly destroy your life if you hold on to them.

Instead of holding on to anger, seek healthy outlets to help you deal with it effectively so you can move on with your life.

9. Being fake

It’s easy to put up a front to try to appear more like your friends, or to gain the approval of your peers.

The problem is that you’re trying to be something you’re not. You’re lying to others and yourself and it will become obvious over time.

It’s far better to be honest and authentic, even though this takes courage and will make you feel uncomfortable – at least at the start.

10. Winning every argument you get into

Winning an argument can make it seem like you’re smarter and stronger than the other person.

But the desire to win every argument you get into isn’t healthy in the long term.

So learn other ways of dealing with conflict. Often, it’s a good idea to just walk away from an argument if it gets too heated.

11. The latest celebrity news or gossip

It can seem important to know about the latest celebrity gossip, especially if your friends frequently talk about these issues.

You might feel excluded from conversations if you don’t know what’s going on.

But there are many other productive things you could be doing with your time, e.g. learning a new skill, reading a book, taking an online course.

12. What people think of you (especially people you don’t know)

We all want to be well-liked. Caring about what others think of us is natural, but you must not center your behaviour on others’ opinions.

We must remember that we should always strive to gain approval from a very important person: ourselves. It’s when we’re growing in commitment and courage that we’ll feel proud of who we are.

13. Trying too hard to fit in

Everyone wants to fit in and be accepted.

The best way to become an authentic, likeable person is to relax and just be yourself.

No one can be liked by everyone else all the time, so focus on becoming the best version of yourself.

14. Being unnecessarily busy

Society has come to see busyness as a badge of honour. Busy people appear important and influential, but it’s not healthy to be rushing all the time.

Being busy isn’t about being occupied. It’s about being focused, productive and effective. It’s also about taking time out to relax, because time off makes us more productive.

15. Labelling and categorising others

When we label other people it’s rarely helpful. It’s just another way of criticising other people in the hope that it will make us feel better about ourselves.

Instead, ask yourself why you label others. Is it because you feel insecure in some way?

If you come to terms with the fact that there are different people in the world and that no one is “superior” to anyone else, you’ll feel more confident.

16. Blaming others

Blaming other people is often easier than accepting responsibility for your actions.

Rather than blaming others when a problem arises, adopt a “fix it” mentality and focus on finding solutions.

Life is all about choices and consequences. Focusing on solutions rather than laying blame will make you a happier – and better – person.

17. Worrying about the future

Instead of worrying, concentrate on planning.

Worrying is about imagining bad things that may or may not happen, whereas planning is about focusing on things that are within your control.

When you’re planning, you’re considering ways to make success as likely as possible. This is empowering, which explains why the happiest and most successful people I know are all planners!

18. Focusing too much on achievement

Achievement is important, but it’s more important to focus on contribution instead.

We can gain great satisfaction from helping others and solving problems in the world.

It’s crucial to remember that life isn’t just about achievement. It’s also about slowing down, building meaningful relationships, and making a difference in the lives of others.

19. Envying others

It’s easy to envy other people, but often we only see a small portion of their lives.

You might envy someone who always seems to have the latest accessories and clothes.

But if you find out that they receive these things because their parents fight all the time and give gifts out of guilt, you’ll realise their life isn’t as enviable as you once thought.

20. Having fun all the time

Fun is a vital part of life, but it’s not everything. In order to really value the fun times we need some contrast, too.

We need to experience challenges and frustrations so that we can fully appreciate the good times.

Those times when you have to draw on your courage or follow through on your commitments make the fun times so much more memorable.

We also gain fulfilment from overcoming life’s challenges.

21. Constantly seeking the approval of others

Constantly seeking approval from others isn’t healthy for our self-esteem.

Doing so implies that we’re not good enough, so we have to constantly check that we’re doing okay.

You might try too hard to get others to like you – and they might even get annoyed.

So don’t worry so much about whether other people approve of you. Instead, focus on living according to the right values and principles.

22. Criticising yourself too much

The problem with criticising yourself too much is that other people start to believe your criticism.

It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, which further affects your self-confidence.

If you’re prone to self-criticism, try and catch yourself before you speak those words of criticism and turn the comment around.

Tell yourself – and others – how hard you tried and what steps you’ll take to ensure a better outcome in the future.

23. Being perfect

There’s no such thing as a perfect person – everyone makes mistakes.

Instead of trying to be perfect, focus on developing and improving yourself.

When you continually strive to become a better version of yourself, you’ll gain confidence. That’s the power of focusing on progress, not perfection.

24. Bragging

Giving yourself a little praise for a job well done is fine, but when it turns into full-blown bragging it’s a problem.

People who brag about themselves get a reputation for being all talk, but little substance.

Instead of bragging about how great you are, get out there and do something remarkable.

Taking action and achieving results brings greater satisfaction than telling everyone how good you are.

25. Spending time with toxic people

Spending time with toxic people can make life “interesting” in many ways, but it’s also destructive.

Toxic people damage your self-esteem and distract you from the things that matter in life. So live according to the right principles and stay as far away from toxic people as you can.

26. Having a constant fear of missing out

No one likes missing out. But the fact is that we all have to miss out on things from time to time. There’s no use worrying about missing out.

The best thing you can do is enjoy the times you do spend with your friends, without constantly being anxious about the fun opportunities you might miss out on.

27. Achieving success on someone else’s terms

Success is only sweet when we achieve it on our own terms, and when our success is focused on adding value to others.

It takes courage and commitment to set your own goals, but it’s the only way to find real success.

Other people may criticise you for being foolish, but their negative comments often reflect their own insecurities.

Decide what success means to you at a personal level, and don’t let societal pressure influence you to be somebody you don’t want to be.

28. Getting involved in drama

Instead of getting involved in unnecessary drama, put yourself on a “drama diet” – let other people own their own problems.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t help them out, but don’t allow yourself to get sucked in emotionally.

You’ll find that your life is a lot more peaceful and enjoyable when it’s less “dramatic”.

29. Being happy all the time

Everybody wants to be happy, but it’s impossible to be happy all the time.

At the end of the day, what we really want is to lead a meaningful life.

In order to do this, we may need to go through periods where we make sacrifices or feel temporarily unhappy.

The good news is that this makes the good times even more precious!

30. Appearing smart

If you’re too concerned about looking smart, you won’t take on so many challenges.

You also won’t ask so many questions for fear of appearing dumb.

All of this will affect your own development.

So don’t be afraid to ask questions or take on new challenges, because this is the only way to grow as a person.

What is most important in life?

Understanding at a deep level what’s important in life helps you to be more focused and less anxious about unimportant things.

Knowing what’s important in life helps you to be more focused and less anxious.

You’ll also be able to save your energy for significant matters.

The next time you find yourself being stressed, take a step back and ask yourself these questions:

Is this going to matter in a year?
Will I even remember this in a year?
Will this help me to grow as a person?
Is this in line with my values and long-term goals?

If the answer to these questions is “no”, then chances are it’s not actually important.

Let it go and focus on the things that do matter.

Adopt this approach day by day, and you’ll see huge changes in your life over time!

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50 Life Lessons Every Parent Should Teach Their Children

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 13 Comments

Ever feel like parenting is the toughest job in the world?

Parenting involves plenty of hard work. What’s more, there are no guarantees.

No matter how much you love your children, no matter how much time you spend with them, no matter how “perfect” of a parent you are … you can’t guarantee that your children will become successful and happy.

Nonetheless, there are many valuable life lessons you can impart to your children.

As your children learn these lessons, they’re more likely to grow up to be confident, well-adjusted, contributing members of society.

I’ve come up with this list of 50 life lessons that every parent should teach their children.

It’s taken me my whole life to learn these lessons. So I’m passionate about sharing them with my son (and future children), as well as the students I work with.

(Don’t forget to download your free e-book below.)

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1. Success is more about contribution than it is about achievement.

2. Don’t worry too much about what other people think of you. They think about you a lot less than you imagine.

3. Focus on progress, not perfection.

4. Run your own race, not the race that other people expect you to run.

5. You cannot always choose your circumstances, but you can always choose your attitude.

6. School isn’t the place you go to get an education; school is just one part of your education. Be proactive in becoming a truly educated person.

7. Successful people do what other people aren’t willing to. Success is a mindset, not a goal to be attained.

8. You can’t win every time. So when you lose, do it gracefully.

9. You can learn something from everyone, no matter how “important” or “unimportant” the person may be.

10. Don’t blame others for your frustrations and disappointments. If you blame others, it means you haven’t taken full responsibility for your life.

11. Be generous. At the heart of it, living is about giving.

12. Watch as little TV as possible – preferably none at all. You’ll lead a more productive life this way.

13. Don’t multi-task. Do one thing at a time and you’ll be far more efficient.

14. Write down everything: your to-do list, your reflections, your goals, your dreams. As David Allen once said, “Your brain is a thinking tool, not a storage device.”

15. Don’t live with regret. Instead, focus on creating a better future for yourself and others.

16. Be a caring person. Care about your loved ones; care about your community; care about the world around you. Do this and your life will be fulfilling.

17. Try new things. Read new books, take up new hobbies, and eat new foods. These experiences will enrich your life.

18. Dare to fail. As Seth Godin once said, “If failure isn’t an option, then neither is real success.”

19. Life will disappoint you. Don’t give up.

20. Be willing to change. Changing yourself is one of the hardest things to do, but you can’t grow as a person if you’re not willing to change.

21. Celebrate often. Celebrate both the small and big things, and your life will be filled with joy.

22. Be intentional about spending time with people you respect and admire. Over time, you’ll become more like them.

23. Become an organized person. Being disorganized is one of the biggest causes of stress.

24. Don’t ever stop learning. The more you learn, the more you’ll appreciate the beauty of the world around you.

25. Get outside of your comfort zone on a daily basis. That’s the only way to grow.

26. Your habits will either make you or break you. Start building healthy habits today.

27. Show respect to every single person you meet. As J. K. Rowling once said, “If you want to see the true measure of a man, watch how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.”

28. Learn to appreciate both the good and the bad. After all, in life there will be plenty of both.

29. When you make a mistake, apologize. Humility is a rare but valuable trait.

30. Take care of your health, starting right now. Your future self will thank you.

31. Be kind to the people you care about the most. Many people do the opposite – they’re the least kind to the people they’re closest to.

32. You can’t be great at everything. Focus on doing a few things exceptionally well.

33. Invest in your most important relationships. This is an investment you’ll never regret.

34. Define success for yourself. Refuse to blindly accept society’s definition of success.

35. Be kind to yourself. Show yourself respect, and don’t beat yourself up over your imperfections.

36. Develop a positive attitude. Your attitude is the most important factor that leads to success and happiness.

37. Be thankful. No matter what you’re going through, there’s always something to be grateful for.

38. Lead a balanced life. Reflect on your life every few months. Ask yourself what changes you need to make in order to find more balance.

39. Be resourceful. When faced with a problem, remember that there’s always a website, a book, a course, or a friend you can turn to for help.

40. Become a person of integrity. Do what you say you’ll do, and people will trust you. Without trust, it’s impossible to build strong relationships.

41. Learn to manage your thoughts and emotions. How you respond to frustrations and disappointments will largely determine your success.

42. Set big goals, but break them down into small steps. This way, you won’t feel overwhelmed. It’s also more likely that you’ll take action.

43. Your character is more important than your accomplishments.

44. Focus on the process rather than the end result. If you do this, the end result will take care of itself.

45. Your decisions determine your destiny. Whatever life choices you’re faced with, choose wisely.

46. Passion isn’t found. It’s cultivated.

47. As a follow-up to #46, find a problem in the world that needs solving. Acquire the skills and knowledge required to solve that problem, then get to work. This is how passion is cultivated.

48. Money won’t make you happy, but without money you’ll be unhappy. Learn to spend wisely so that you can achieve financial independence as soon as possible.

49. Listen to your parents more than you feel like. Most of the time, they really do know better than you.

50. Happiness is a choice more than it is a feeling.

(If you haven’t already done so, make sure to download your free e-book below.)

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4 Words of Advice for Students Who Want to Succeed in Life

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 6 Comments

Success.

Everyone wants it. And some who have already achieved it hunger for even more.

But what does success mean? How do you ensure that your success is enduring, not just temporary?

These are hard questions, and I don’t claim to have all the answers.

But since completing my formal education and entering the “real world,” I’ve learned a lot about what it takes to find long-term success.

My mission is to empower students to become both happy and successful. So these are my four words of advice to students who want to succeed in life:

1. Focus on contribution, not achievement.

Society tends to emphasize achievement rather than contribution.

But real success isn’t determined by how much you’ve achieved. It’s determined by how much you’ve contributed.

And the size of your contribution isn’t limited by your job title. As Harry Beckwith once said, “There is no such thing as an ordinary job. There are only people who choose to perform them in ordinary ways.”

Your contributions have less to do with your career, and more to do with how committed you are and how much you care.

If you’re committed to a cause you care about deeply, you’ll go the extra mile to serve others and make a difference. No “unimpressive” job title will be able to stand in your way.

That’s why people like Martin Luther King, Jr., Mother Teresa, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Oprah Winfrey were busy changing the world, long before they became famous.

All work – except for illegal trades – directly or indirectly involves serving others, meeting their needs, or empowering them to lead better lives.

Work is intrinsically meaningful. It gives us opportunities to contribute, and to make the world a better place.

Those who succeed in life don’t simply coast along. They don’t just go with the flow. Instead, they go beyond the call of duty, time after time.

As Zig Ziglar observed, “You can have everything you want in life, if you will help enough other people get what they want.”

So think of ways that you can go beyond the call of duty.

Here are some examples:

Share your knowledge with others
Go out of your way to honor your parents
Write a thank-you note to someone who has made a difference in your life
Volunteer
Do something to brighten up your friend’s, parent’s, or teacher’s day
Mentor someone younger and less experienced than you
Start a website to share useful information with others

The possibilities are endless. But it all starts with a desire to contribute, not just achieve.

2. Commit to personal growth.

One of my favorite quotes is this anonymous one:

“Many succeed momentarily by what they know. Some succeed temporarily by what they do. Few succeed permanently by what they are.”

If you want to attain lasting success, what matters most is character. Knowledge and skills pale in comparison. I’ve even heard several employers remark that they’ve learned to hire for character rather than competence.

To build character, commit to personal growth. Take intentional steps to become more hardworking, disciplined, generous, kind, focused, resilient, caring, and empathetic.

Focus on the process, instead of the outcome. As Dr. Carol Dweck’s research has shown, adopting this mindset leads to long-term success. Ironically, by focusing on improving and developing – rather than on achieving a specific result – you’ll achieve an even better result.

At the end of the day, personal growth isn’t about being better than others so you can feel good about yourself.

Personal growth is about the pursuit of excellence. It’s about continual improvement. It’s about making the most of this one precious life we’ve each been given.

So what are some practical ways to help you grow as a person?

Here are several:

Every day, spend five minutes in reflection
Do one thing a week that forces you out of your comfort zone
Overcome a bad habit
Eliminate unwanted distractions
Read a book
Learn a new skill
Take up a new hobby
Surround yourself with people you aspire to be like
Sign up for a workshop
Take an online course at Udemy or Coursera
Subscribe to an educational YouTube channel like CrashCourse or AsapSCIENCE

Personal growth is never wasted. It helps you to embrace possibilities and to cultivate a sense of wonder.

And, without a doubt, it will lead you down the path of enduring success.

3. Invest in your most important relationships.

The quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life.

This study followed 268 Harvard students over the course of 75 years. The study collected data on many aspects of their lives, and sought to answer the question: Which factors lead to long-term happiness and fulfillment?

The study discovered that having strong relationships is the most important factor. In fact, the study found “strong relationships to be far and away the strongest predictor of life satisfaction.” You might have wealth, physical health, and a thriving career, but without strong relationships you won’t be happy.

How does this principle apply to students who want to succeed in life?

Don’t become so obsessed about getting to the top that you forget about bringing people along with you on the journey.

So take a few minutes and identify the most important relationships in your life. Commit to investing in these relationships. Make them a priority, and don’t let your work or hobbies get in the way.

Every week, block out time in your calendar to spend with your close friends and family. Keep track of the important things going on in their lives, and check in with them periodically. They’ll appreciate this more than you imagine.

It’s easy to be distracted by urgent matters, while neglecting the important ones. So guard your time and your relationships. That’s the only way you’ll find lasting success and happiness.

4. Cultivate a spirit of gratitude.

Life is full of challenges and struggles. But, at the same time, there are always things to be grateful for.

When you cultivate a spirit of gratitude, you’ll complain less. You’ll develop a positive attitude, and people will enjoy being around you more. You’ll become a less anxious person, too.

This will help you find enduring success.

Here are more benefits of gratitude, backed by science:

It helps you to make more friends
It improves your physical health
It enhances your sleep quality
It increases your self-esteem
It builds resilience
It reduces stress
It makes you more generous and compassionate

Isn’t this an incredible list?

So, if you haven’t already done so, start a gratitude journal. Every night before you go to bed, take a minute and write down just one thing you’re thankful for.

This habit will train your mind to focus on the positive, and will cultivate a sense of hope for the future.

I’ve kept a gratitude journal for the past eight years – it’s made me a much more appreciative person!

The bottom line

I’m not so naïve to think that I know everything about success. But I do know that real success is hard to attain.

It demands that we lead a life of principles, not just pragmatism.

A life of meaning, not materialism.

A life of conviction, not convenience.

A life of service, not self-centeredness.

We’re all on a journey toward success. Together, let’s make it a great one.

An earlier version of this article first appeared on Yahoo!.

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15 Rules for Success in Life (That All Students Should Know)

Updated on January 6, 2026 By Daniel Wong 11 Comments

What are good rules for success in life — the rules that motivated and focused students follow to do well in school and beyond?

Don’t get me wrong. Success isn’t mainly about achievement. It’s about purpose, meaning, and contribution.

Most people think the secret to success lies in setting goals.

At the beginning of every new year, we say we’ll study harder, exercise daily, read more, go to sleep by 9pm…

But then life happens.

School assignments. Chores. Responsibilities. Family commitments. Our well-meaning resolutions slip down our list of priorities until soon, they’ve disappeared.

Sound familiar?

After all, studies show that 80% of people experience this.

Sure, setting the right goals — whether they’re academic goals or other types of goals — is important. But what you really need for a meaningful and purpose-driven life is a list of rules to live by.

Let’s explore why it’s crucial to have fewer goals and more rules. I’ll also share my top 15 tips for success and explain how to create rules that work for you.

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Me, the former compulsive goal-setter

Not long ago, I was a compulsive goal-setter.

Every year I would set more than 50 goals to cover all areas of my life: sleep, exercise, academics, career, personal finance, personal development, spirituality, relationships, community service, and leisure.

Pretty long list, I know.

I even set a goal for spontaneity: Do at least one random thing a week.

My friends thought I was hilarious (or, more likely, ridiculous) for turning spontaneity into a goal!

But here’s what I discovered:

Obsessing over goal-setting is counter-productive. I was stressed out and overextended trying to track and achieve all those goals.

Why you need more rules and fewer goals

Nowadays, I set far fewer goals for myself. Instead of goals, I set rules for success.

Please don’t misunderstand. I don’t have it all figured out. I’m still learning, and I always will be! But here’s what I have learned about success so far:

You’re more likely to keep to a rule than a goal.

What’s the difference between a rule and a goal?

A goal is a target. It’s something you hope to achieve, or to which you aspire.

On the other hand, a rule is a law to abide by, a standard to adhere to. It’s non-negotiable, so you do it no matter what.

Some might say the difference between a goal and a rule is a matter of semantics, but I say there’s more to it.

Goals inspire hope, while rules mandate action. Goals focus on the desired outcome, while rules focus on the process that will lead to that outcome.

Here’s an example: “My goal is to get straight A’s this year.” That’s a lofty target, but not much more.

Reframed as rules for success, this statement becomes: “I make time to study every day after school for at least two hours” and “I’m going to apply at least 10 test-taking strategies that will calm my anxiety about exams”.

When you take specific actions, you’re more likely to achieve your goals.

Rules are important in both sports and life

Hear me out…

We shouldn’t flood our lives with rules, either. I’d even say we should break many of the unhelpful “rules” we hear daily. The ones like:

“There’s always a right and a wrong answer.”

“Avoid failure at all costs.”

“Succeed in school, and you’ll succeed in life.”

Success is about more than making a certain amount of money or getting into a specific school.

That said, well-set rules play a vital role in life. Let’s look to sports for some excellent examples:

In basketball, you must stand behind the line when you’re shooting free throws.
In tennis, the ball must land within the box when you serve.
In soccer, only the goalkeeper can use his or her hands.

Rules make these games orderly, fun, and exciting. There’d be too much chaos and confusion for the games to be enjoyable for players and spectators if not for the rules.

Similarly, setting rules for success in life will help you live more intentionally — and achieve what’s most important to you.

What you want now vs. what you want most

What do you want to do right now? Is it to watch TV, go on social media, or eat junk food?

Now, what do you want to do most? Probably do meaningful work, build strong relationships, volunteer, exercise, or expand your knowledge.

When we think of freedom, we usually think about having the flexibility to do what we want right now. But my definition of freedom is doing more of what you want to do most — those things that are truly important.

That’s easier said than done.

Most of us choose immediate gratification over long-term happiness. But by setting boundaries or rules, we create the freedom to focus on what we want most, even when it’s challenging.

Freedom means having the right kind of boundaries

Freedom, then, isn’t the absence of boundaries. Instead, it’s having the right boundaries.

Imagine if this fish didn’t have the “boundary” of the fishbowl. If someone smashed the fishbowl and let all the water out, the fish wouldn’t survive for more than a few minutes.

Rules and boundaries keep us on track by helping us do what we ought to and lead more abundant lives.

You need rules to lead a principles-centred life

We’ve distinguished between goals and rules for success, but we also need to differentiate between rules and principles.

Principles are guidelines, but they don’t outline specific actions that you can or cannot take.

Going back to the basketball example, the main principle of basketball is that you want to score more points than your opponent.

But this principle doesn’t specifically tell you what you are and are not allowed to do in your quest to outscore your opponent.

Should you launch shots from half-court? Should you focus more on defence or offence? Should you dribble or pass more?

Similarly, you might decide to live by certain principles, but that’s not enough to ensure your noble intentions lead to committed action and consistent results.

For instance, you might decide you want your life to focus on contribution rather than achievement.

That’s an admirable principle to live by, but what does it look like in your daily life? Like when you need to write a 10-page report by the end of tomorrow?

In theory, you only need principles. In practice, you need rules to live out those principles.

Another example: If you want to lead a life of kindness, generosity and courage, you won’t accomplish this by saying, “Today, I’m going to be kind, generous, and courageous.”

Instead, you’ll need to set specific rules that will enable you to live out those values daily. No one can build a great life in a day. We create successful and meaningful lives one day at a time, one decision at a time.

15 time-tested rules for success in life

So, what are some rules for success that might make your life — and the lives of those around you — better?

Before we start, remember that life is about more than getting good grades or making lots of money.

What does success look like to you? What brings meaning and purpose to your life?

When making a list of rules, they must work for you. We’ll explore this further in a moment.

First, take a look at these 15 time-tested rules I do my best to follow. I hope some will inspire you, too.

1. Spend time in quiet reflection

We live in a noisy world with lots of distractions. It’s easy to get caught up in our to-do lists and forget about what matters most. So, every day, I do my best to spend at least 10 minutes in quiet reflection. I relax, think about my day, and observe any feelings that arise.

Make time for quiet reflection to check in with your emotions and appreciate life’s gifts. You’ll gain clarity on what’s most important to you.

2. Exercise regularly

Your brain loves exercise. Twenty minutes of activity is all it takes to improve brain functions like memory, attention span, and thinking.

Plus, regular exercise helps manage stress and improves overall health and wellness. (Check out my time-management tips for students if you’re wondering how to fit exercise into your schedule.)

My rule is to exercise for at least 30 minutes a day, five days a week. Choose some exercise rules that work for you. Even a brisk walk will do the trick!

3. Read for at least 15 minutes a day

I know it’s challenging to find time to read when you’re busy with school assignments and other commitments.

But a regular reading habit improves memory, concentration, focus, vocabulary, and even sleep.

What you read is not that important (although tweets on Twitter don’t count), so have fun exploring topics that interest you!

4. Keep a gratitude journal

Want to feel happier and healthier?

Write down what you’re thankful for. Studies show that students who kept a gratitude journal experienced less depression, lower risk of heart disease, and reported eating more healthily too.

If you feel as if writing requires too much effort, at least take a minute each day to think about a couple of things you’re thankful for.

5. Compliment one person daily

When was the last time someone told you they admired your perseverance or appreciated your thoughtfulness? How did it make you feel?

It’s hardly a secret that receiving compliments makes our day a little better.

But what if I told you that dishing out compliments directly benefits you, too? It’s true. Say a few nice things to others, and you’ll build your confidence, improve your long-term positive thinking, and make better decisions.

6. Chatting face-to-face? Put your phone away

Did you know there’s a term for looking at your phone while someone is talking to you?

It’s called “phubbing”, or phone snubbing.

While it might seem harmless, “phubbing” can disrupt relationships and impact your mental health. When you’re chatting with someone face-to-face, show respect for the other person and make the conversation more enjoyable by putting your phone away.

7. Have dinner at home

You’re a busy student, so a sit-down dinner every night may not be possible. That’s okay. When you can, though, eat at home. Avoid watching TV or looking at your phone, and instead practise mindful eating.

If you can eat with a family member, great! Ask about their day, and chat about yours.

8. Be five minutes early

Want to avoid stress and show respect for your teachers and classmates? Arrive to class five minutes early. You’ll feel confident, relaxed, and prepared to learn.

Simple rules for success like this benefit all areas of your life, so make it a practice now.

9. Provide criticism in person

A group member didn’t do their part of the project, so now you’re staying up all night to finish it on time. You pull out your phone to write them a strongly worded text message.

For most people, it’s easier to send negative feedback via text message or email than to say it in person. But easier doesn’t always mean better.

Written messages can cause misunderstandings. There are no in-person social cues, so your words can come across harsher than intended.

In addition, it’s one-sided. Constructive criticism is important, but save it for face-to-face conversations.

10. Plan your day the night before

Have you heard of decision fatigue? It takes a lot of mental energy to make decisions, and when your brain gets tired, you start making flawed decisions.

If you’re overwhelmed with tasks, debating what to do first can sap productivity.

Instead, at the end of each day, take 5 or 10 minutes to plan out your next day. You’ll feel less stressed, sleep better, and have plenty of mental energy to dive into your to-do list.

11. Only check email and social media three times a day

How many times a day do you check social media? Ten times? Twenty?

Would you be surprised to learn that some teens check social media 100 times a day? Social media is addictive. Often we spend more time mindlessly scrolling than we realise; we waste valuable attention we could use elsewhere.

One of my top rules for success is to only check email and social media three times a day, as far as possible. Stick with it to become a more disciplined student.

12. Ask if others have time to talk (or text)

There’s a good chance you don’t remember the days of landlines and answering machines — a time when you couldn’t always expect an immediate response.

Thanks to the smartphones in our pockets, the story’s a little different today. But just because our friends can answer immediately doesn’t mean we should expect them to. Instead, be courteous. Ask if they can talk or text. Your friends will soon start to do the same to you, too.

13. Don’t gossip

At first, gossip seems harmless… maybe even a little fun. Until your friend discovers you’ve been talking bad about her. Now you’ve hurt a relationship that meant a lot to you.

Gossip is a waste of energy and a harmful habit. Build people up and spread positivity instead.

14. Ask your teachers for feedback

Once a month or once every two months, ask your teachers for feedback.

I know that sounds scary. No one enjoys receiving criticism!

Feedback will make you a better student and provide you with an opportunity to course-correct early on.

What’s more, learning to accept feedback gracefully is an important communication skill that will serve you long into the future.

15. Proofread assignments and emails

Take a few minutes to proofread your assignments and emails. It shows thoughtfulness and thoroughness and will keep silly mistakes at bay. Proofreading also displays professionalism, clarity, and accuracy.

How to make rules work for you

These rules for success in life work for me, and I hope they help you, too.

You don’t need to implement every rule here. Use what works for you, then brainstorm your own list of rules to live by.

Start by deciding what success means to you. Again, it’s not only about getting straight A’s or accumulating wealth. Those factors don’t define your self-worth.

Instead, ask these questions:

What do I love?
What’s important to me?
What does the world need?
How to not care what people think while doing what’s most meaningful?
What does it mean to lead a good life?
How can I make choices that benefit others?

It’s okay if you don’t know all of the answers. These prompts are tools you can use to start discovering what’s meaningful and important to you.

Then, choose one rule you’d like to incorporate. Write it down in a notebook or a note-taking app. Get specific about when and how you’ll put the rule into practice.

Spend one month focusing on the rule until it turns into a habit. Next month, add one new rule.

Remember, we’re writing rules for success in life — not creating a list of lofty goals.

But don’t worry. When you establish the right rules, you’ll inevitably achieve your goals, too.

Want more tips and systems to become an organised, focused, and disciplined student?

Check out the Straight-A Student Weekly Checklist. It’s a comprehensive system I’ve created for academic achievement, with easy rules for success that will improve all areas of your life!

(If you haven’t already done so, make sure to download your free quick action guide below.)

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